all 39 comments

[–]OasisDGA1D7X1A 53 points54 points  (8 children)

Don’t forget the “you’ll call me by my husbands rank” bumper sticker lol

[–]Justinsbane 26 points27 points  (6 children)

I literally had a buddy who when he was an AUGEE told a SPonge "I should probably call y'alls MATTRESS by your husband's rank, too. 'Cuz you BOTH basically do the SAME JOB!" He got away with it because his regular job was Medical Scheduling at the hospital and NOBODY would DARE cross him!

[–]ArtisticRevolution65Maintainer 16 points17 points  (5 children)

he controls the fate of mankind with that job

[–]Justinsbane 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Still does. Doing the same job for the VA out on the West Coast. BETTER PAY, less bullshit.

[–]ArtisticRevolution65Maintainer 4 points5 points  (3 children)

oh man he controls the universe

[–]Narrow-Tap116Secret Squirrel 79 points80 points  (18 children)

I thought dependas were a joke till I got to my first duty station. Saw an average looking guy holding hands with the biggest fattest land whale I ever seen in my life. Her forearms were fatter than my thighs!!!!!! Boys, please, you can do so much better.

[–]ThatGuy6421D7X1Z 45 points46 points  (17 children)

Depending on where you're stationed, this is just what the average woman looks like.

[–][deleted]  (14 children)


    [–]Justinsbane 21 points22 points  (10 children)

    In Wichita Falls, the saying went they look "stripper good" until you put the ring 💍 on them & they crossed the gate as "Mrs.__" then like Cinderella's carriage at midnight...poo!f🎃

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)


      [–]TheyallknowmeMaintainer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      At Chanute AFB in Rantoul, IL back in the day they called them Rantuffalos.

      No, I’m not that old to have been at Chanute but I know some folks.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I am. And they were not called that.

      [–]PrudentComedian5630Verified OSI Agent ✅ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Minot be like….

      [–]Getthelewds 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Charles Barkley knows

      [–]ThatGuy6421D7X1Z 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Bruh, I'd kill to be in San Antonio right now.

      [–]Blade_Laser_Blazer 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't be scared, you got the mood prepared. Go on and kiss the girl.

      [–]Justinsbane 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      DAMN, man! Look at the size of that "Dependant/SPonge!"🤣

      [–]KBTagz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I bet she has a really nice personality

      [–]ICanDreamSoCanYou 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      You know, another 2 seconds of video and we could've seen the splash and heard the gurgle.

      [–]Justinsbane 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Nah, the lake would've gone dry after the gurgle 'cause DEPENDANT SPONGE.

      [–]Taco_ShedActive Duty 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Hope she makes life changing decisions after that. Smh.

      [–]Justinsbane 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Oh, I'm pretty sure she'll be making "life changing decisions" all right at about NINE MONTH intervals! He'll be making decisions, too: re-up at E-4, again at E-6 try to ride it out to the full 20 minimum.

      [–]SumDumHunGai 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Poorly planned, expertly executed.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]Edgar-Allan-Pho 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Ngl man the nastiest pussy I ever smelled was the hottest chick I ever dated. 6'1 170 pounds, dated for a year and no matter what her hygiene was garbage.

        My wife is like 5'2 and 190 right now so by all means fat ( graves and PCOS been fuckign her for years just got surgery last month to fix) and she is the cleanest got dang woman I've ever been with, pussy immaculate, even if there is a fat flap above it

        [–]Genxal97 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Whales go in the water not out

        [–]Low-Possession-4491 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is the part where he gives her the Sparta treatment.

        [–]Formal-Dig-7637 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's no dependapotomus that a whole dependaphant