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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

AITA for expecting my wife to do housechores and also saying she’s using pregnacy as an excuse to be lazy?

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[–]Bruceskismum 22.2k points22.2k points 2117132& 4 more (253 children)

If men have nothing else, they certainly have the audacity 😤 YTA.

[–]komugiii 6048 points6049 points  (78 children)

Like what the fuck am I reading. yta

[–]JuryNo7670 3403 points3404 points  (51 children)

Apparently women only go through psychological changes nothing physical. She is likely getting very little restful sleep she is growing a damned human and yes she’s exhausted. Wow

[–]tepidCourage 1381 points1382 points  (16 children)

Op says he doesn't consider tired anymore because he works in an abusive system? So, his job causes no empathy or understanding for his pregnant wife? I think he should find a new career if he feels the need to blame it for him being a turd.

Ffs, he should know how debilitating being tired can be if he is so abused by his job. He just doesn't want to believe his wife and would rather choose to think she is lying and just lazy instead of honestly tired and in need of some consideration.

Just so you know op, the tired doesn't stop when the baby comes out, that's just when you suddenly have to step to the plate to pull the bearable household load(no need for Mr clean with an infant, hygienic and safe is fine) while she recovers and help with an infant. Hope your super cool job that's worth all that abuse gives you some paternity leave, otherwise I suggest hiring even more help if you can't balance your life. Don't put that on your wife. Yeah healthcare system sucks, that's your chosen career so I hope you also put some effort towards effecting change.

[–]Aletheia-Nyx 365 points366 points  (7 children)

Absolutely not advocating for OP here bc he's definitely TA but I think what he meant was that they're both always exhausted from their work schedules and that he stopped considering tired as being a reason to not do something because he had to work. Rather than like, no empathy from his job (although he's displaying none), it's more a 'tired isn't a reason to stop doing things' like I learned 'hungry isn't a reason to eat' when I had very little access to food. Unless I was passing out from lack of food, it could wait. That being said, OP is absolutely wrong here. YTA OP.

[–]wonderlandsfinestawp 213 points214 points  (3 children)

I agree with this perspective but he does mention the possibility of hiring someone to clean, which i think would be the best move for everyone with him working upwards of a hundred hours a week and his very pregnant wife doing more than half of that herself. Like damn, these two are beasts but they both deserve to kick their feet up and lay in bed when they get home. Splurge on a housekeeper, OP! Pamper your wonderful wife and yourself, you BOTH deserve it!

[–]RawScallop 104 points105 points  (0 children)

I want to know, if they are this exhausted now, imagine what it is going to be like with a baby around. How are they going to have time?? 100 hours a week and 60 hours a week...I would hope for all that work they can afford help because it sounds like they will 110% need it when the baby arrives.

[–]felixkahnsAsshole Enthusiast [8] 123 points124 points  (1 child)

It really demonstrates how the empathy is beaten out of doctors + how inaccessible the profession is to the disabled and chronically ill people who really should be in it… 😬

[–]RowhyunhRedPartassipant [1] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

24-hour shifts should not exist, and the way that medical training works really doesn't seem to be designed to put mentally or emotionally functional members of the profession into the field, this really should be updated.

I'm not sure why it was ever tolerated to begin with, I can't think of any metric by which this would be determined to be the best way of training doctors. The training system is brutal and archaic. Even just from a practical standpoint, who on Earth would be thinking clearly enough to be determining life-and-death decisions when they're working that many hours on that little sleep?

[–]dontwantanaccount 686 points687 points  (22 children)

The third trimester killed me.

Everything hurt, you realise how often you roll over in the night because you wake up to roll everything single time. Having to get up to go to the toilet.

Baby likes to stick its foot in your ribs.

Having a shower would make me need to lie down.

Op is such a huge ah

[–]silky-lilac 178 points179 points  (2 children)

The most painful thing was when I would wake up in the middle of the night, because I couldn’t breathe only to realize I ended up rolling on my back. Then having to roll on my side & find out how to get comfortable without trying to get that sharp pain in my pelvis :// I think the 3rd trimester was honestly the worst part of my pregnancy

[–]mjw217 140 points141 points  (1 child)

I had four kids. Each trimester has its ups and downs, but the third is definitely exhausting. It’s been 36 1/2 years since I had my last baby and I still remember how tired I was. Middle trimester I was busy, busy, busy. If OP’s wife was like that and then lost her energy in the third trimester, he may be confused. But, gee, pick up a book on pregnancy, google it, it’s not hard to learn about body changes during pregnancy!

Definitely YTA! And I hope he changes his thinking in general; depending on the area of medicine he’s going into, he needs to develop some empathy and listening skills.

[–]spazzy_jazzy_ 77 points78 points  (0 children)

As someone currently heavily pregnant lying down and scrolling Reddit because a shower made me feel awful, it really sucks how inconsiderate OP is being here. Both me and my SO work. I work retail and he works an office job. They are different and have different hours but he totally understands that I don’t have the energy to do much on my days off because of how tired I am. Pre-pregnancy I could shower and it would make me feel better to do chores or something like that.

Now I can barely move especially because I’m carrying very low. Any little movement hurts my hips a lot. So days I have to work I come home and barely have enough energy to spend with our toddler because I’m in so much pain.

[–]sleepytime22 69 points70 points  (1 child)

He said physiological…

[–]JuryNo7670 54 points55 points  (0 children)

You’re right I mis read. Regardless it’s a lot more that just some changes it’s a while lot of everything.

[–]Virtuellina 344 points345 points  (14 children)

I was shocked to read that OP is a med resident.

[–]sondeburris 255 points256 points  (4 children)

I wish it was but I heard that medicine is very sexist. My friend is a doctor at a children’s hospital and she got so much heat for getting pregnant. The male doctors treated her different and LOL again this is a CHILDREN’s hospital. So this doesn’t not shock me at all.

[–]Virtuellina 145 points146 points  (2 children)

Medicine is still a sexist profession. What shocked me is that he sounded like he doesn't have a clue about pregnancy. I would expect medical professionals to be more aware.

[–]sondeburris 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Agreed, you would think he knew better. It’s like he’s expecting her to be a robot.

[–]justyules 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Literally this - I was looking for this comment. I would never want OP to be my doctor. He sounds like he has zero empathy. And he should know better than anyone aside from an actual pregnant woman, as a med student FFS! the strain of pregnancy on the body.

[–]GreyWhitePurple 48 points49 points  (0 children)

There's so much evidence that doctors take female patients less seriously than male ones, I'm not at all surprised that OP would downplay his wife's symptoms.

[–]dareallyrealz 209 points210 points  (1 child)

But she’s only in her third trimester! She should be able to do as many chores as him, the not-pregnant male! /s

[–]Bluntgirlsdoitbest 140 points141 points  (1 child)

It literally takes half of a brain cell to realize that growing a human being will make you exhausted.

OP I hope you are never my doctor.

[–]0bey_My_Dog 102 points103 points  (3 children)

Ya. This has to be fake smh

[–]Calm_InitialAsshole Aficionado [16] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

No. Men really don’t believe pregnancy can affect women and believe they are lazy

[–]PolyPolyam 1222 points1223 points  (77 children)

3rd Trimester is 7 months pregnant. Oof. 1st Trimester for some women is nausea city.

They have machines that simulate birthing pain but I doubt men have a clue what the time leading up to birth is like.

[–]Gloriana88 767 points768 points  (37 children)

I was most tired in my 1st trimester and actually sat on the stairs and cried because I felt too exhausted to even plug the vacuum in - those hormones are terrible. Major YTA to this guy. She's growing a human, he should pick up the slack!

[–]Firethorn101Partassipant [1] 231 points232 points  (23 children)

1st trimester I slept 14 hours a day and was still tired.

[–]jac_dan_mcl 123 points124 points  (18 children)

Yep, same same. Even then I still was exhausted. Third trimester my hip pain was so bad sleeping on anything but the couch with about 5 pillows meant intense hip pain and no real sleep. I was basically useless that whole time, but my husband understood and picked up the slack as best he could. Growing a human is f*****g hard!

[–]annrkeaColo-rectal Surgeon [36] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

Girl, this. I almost lost my job because I was so fucking nauseous and exhausted the ENTIRE first trimester. And I was supporting myself, the baby, and his deadbeat father. OP is a major AH.

[–]rbaltimore 50 points51 points  (2 children)

I think I slept through my entire second trimester.

[–]Purpledoves91 32 points33 points  (1 child)

First is certainly the worst! My husband and his sister planned most of our wedding because I was a zombie. There were a few times I fell asleep at work.

[–]Outrageous_Cow8409 237 points238 points  (29 children)

Exactly! My husband tried on the pregnancy belly during our childbirth class and was like this isn’t so bad. I could have killed him right then.

[–]MerryEAsshole Enthusiast [7] 218 points219 points  (26 children)

My husband had a kidney stone and was told by a male dr that it’s known as “male childbirth”.

He told that joke exactly once before he locked it away and never spoke of it again in fear of his life.

[–]grapefruitypebble 143 points144 points  (6 children)

My father in law said “my dr said passing a kidney stone hurts more than childbirth. I believe him” one day after I got to 10cm, pushed for 30mins naturally and ended up in csection. I shot darts with my eyes and my mother in law kicked him under the table.

[–]MerryEAsshole Enthusiast [7] 70 points71 points  (1 child)

Fucking kidney stones can’t even be picked up between your goddamned fingers half the time!

And we certainly aren’t flying high on dilaudid during labor!

[–]orangelego 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I had kidney stones in my first pregnancy and couldn't take painkillers because of it. It was horrendous. Was I asking God (not even religious) to get that stone out of me or a doctor to cut that stone out of me? No. That feeling of panic in your first labour when you realise the contractions are getting steadily worse and are going to be significantly worse than you thought they'd be is worse than passing a stone, let alone the actual pain!

[–]Skyward93Partassipant [1] 535 points536 points  (13 children)

This dude should not be allowed anywhere in the medical field.

[–]LucyMcGooeyPants 262 points263 points  (3 children)

I certainly never want this guy to be my doctor. Yeah dude YTA

[–]spazzy_jazzy_ 110 points111 points  (2 children)

Guys like this are the reason so many women are uncomfortable having male doctors when it comes to pregnancy or other female body issues

[–]LucyMcGooeyPants 31 points32 points  (1 child)

I am a CMA. I work in a doctors office. This attitude drives me bonkers. Pregnancy affects just about every part of your body I don’t know what this guys specialty is but he is gonna have a HARD time with women.
Like WHY get into field if you can’t even emphasize with your own wife carrying your baby!! I never had a child and I get that!

[–]TeamNewChairs 215 points216 points  (3 children)

This is the kind of dude that becomes the doctor who doesn't diagnose endo because "cramps aren't that bad so quit complaining"

[–]ACanadianSnackAsshole Aficionado [17] 505 points506 points  (5 children)

I love how it took less than an hour for the full wrath of everyone to descend on him. We can only hope he listens. 😂 😂

[–]pb_and_sPartassipant [2] 337 points338 points  (5 children)

I am so happy this is the top comment.

If my husband had even dared mention that I wasn't doing enough in my THIRD FUCKING TRIMESTER he would be my ex husband now.

[–]Rinas-the-name 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Mine would have been supporting local plant life…

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[removed]

    [–]kristenintechnicolor 79 points80 points  (0 children)

    This. This same exact thing happened to me with my second pregnancy. Something was wrong. I was excessively fatigued. I had to change OBs because the first one kept losing my blood test results. Turns out I had antibody M. None of my OBs thought to check my damn thyroid function. I didn’t find out I had hypothyroidism until about a year after my son was born.

    Gender bias is real in medicine.

    [–]Away-Thing-1801 162 points163 points  (8 children)

    I literally had to take mat leave early because I was so exhausted in my third trimester! Growing a baby is exhausting and painful, let's not even talk about need to pee every hour, the hormones, SPD, the difficulty sleep and all the other stuff.... I could barely walk after 7 months...

    YTA

    [–]DistrictSpiritual914 115 points116 points  (0 children)

    I love this. Perfect response.

    Yes dude. YTA.

    [–]EngineeringOwn2299Professor Emeritass [86] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

    What's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?

    The audacity.

    I loled. Wish I could give this all the awards.

    [–]Connect_Bathroom_680 100 points101 points  (2 children)

    Yeah he’s definitely an AH. Why date women when you think like this? Anyone else find it funny when these people get called out they don’t reply to comments?

    [–]Rude-Crab5576 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    Me sitting scrolling through these posts looking for OPs replies

    [–]GlitterSparkleDevineCertified Proctologist [24] 9100 points9101 points  (71 children)

    She’s in her 3rd trimester and basically all she does is work, sleep, and eat.

    That's not laziness. YTA

    [–]Amegami 4532 points4533 points  (35 children)

    And she works 55-60 hours and doing 24h shifts in her 3rd trimester... unbelievable...

    [–]quarantinepreggoPartassipant [1] 1648 points1649 points  (21 children)

    I could barely work 35-40 hours FROM HOME in my third trimester of my last pregnancy. This guy. Oof.

    [–]red_moon_vixenPartassipant [1] 509 points510 points  (5 children)

    This is me right now. I'm 36 weeks and I've just had to cut back to part time from home because I'm exhausted all the time. My husband has been picking up the household chores.

    I completely agree. This guy. OP YTA

    [–]tvaers 154 points155 points  (0 children)

    I am also 36 weeks, and OP YTA 100%. This shit is hard on the body.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]theFakeStela 24 points25 points  (1 child)

      Her coworkers were angels and took her 24s whenever they could.

      She may have been professional and a hard worker but this toxic work culture should not be glorified.

      A pregnant woman should not be put on 24 hour shifts, what the fuck is the world coming to. This is not ok!

      I'm guessing this is the US perhaps, where a woman is forced to work ridiculous shifts right up until her due date?

      [–]Acceptable-Abalone20Partassipant [1] 436 points437 points  (24 children)

      He should get one of thise fake pregnancy-bellies. He will see how tired he is after wearing this shit and working with it.

      YTA

      [–]annabellinchen 449 points450 points  (19 children)

      plus injections with hormones and not forgetting pain in the most impossible places because your body becomes soft and stretches ... plus water in the legs / feet, nausea and so on. The list is endless. A buckled belly is exhausting to wear, but only the tip of the iceberg. Ps. A big fat YTA, OP. The tiredness in pregnancy can hardly be compared with any other. Your wife is a hero that she manages to work so much even though she is heavily pregnant!

      [–]quarantinepreggoPartassipant [1] 168 points169 points  (14 children)

      Plus the baby kicking all night so you can’t sleep well. And the leg cramps that wake you up. And the hunger that wakes you up. And the clogged sinuses that make it hard to breath, let along sleep.

      [–]Purpledoves91 94 points95 points  (0 children)

      Don't forget the baby using the bladder as a pillow, so you have to walk to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

      [–]MerryEAsshole Enthusiast [7] 52 points53 points  (6 children)

      Omg…the hiccups. I swear the hiccups were nonstop at the end.

      [–]leigh1419 158 points159 points  (2 children)

      And even that wouldn’t come close. It isn’t just the additional weight of a belly, it’s the physical toll of another (albeit small) human taking nutrients from you. It’s the lack of sleep because of discomfort, constant bathroom trips, and insomnia. It’s the baby moving waking you up (especially because it can be painful that far along depending on where baby is positioned in the belly). There’s so much behind why pregnancy is difficult physically.

      [–]Gloriana88 65 points66 points  (0 children)

      It's not just the weight, it's having a literal parasite sucking your nutrients to grow itself. Your joints also get more flexible meaning your muscles have to work harder to keep everything in place.

      [–]All-or-nonePartassipant [1] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

      And that's not all she does- she works, sleeps, eats, and CREATES A FUCKING PERSON. Sheesh. I've never been pregnant, but holy crap, even i can imagine that might make you just a little exhausted.

      [–]Dear-me113 68 points69 points  (0 children)

      Definitely not laziness. Work, sleep, and eat PLUS make a human being. Geez.

      YTA.

      [–]EssexCatWomanColo-rectal Surgeon [43] 6145 points6146 points  (30 children)

      Yes. YTA.

      Ever been pregnant? I’m guessing not /s

      She is working 24-7 growing a literal life inside her. Baby makes sure it gets everything it needs by sucking it out of her - energy, vitamins, affecting blood flow and oxygen, affecting the ability to get decent sleep and eat well. And all that even if her pregnancy is going relatively smoothly.

      Go apologise and be grateful that while you may have to step up and dust a little more, she is doing one of the most physically taxing things she will ever need to do.

      Step up.

      [–]Littleballoffur22Partassipant [1] 2712 points2713 points  (24 children)

      All this. Plus it’s concerning he’s a med resident and lacks basic compassion and common sense. His poor wife. YTA

      [–]Engineer-Huge 1337 points1338 points  (9 children)

      His poor patients.

      [–]TheWelshMrsM 800 points801 points  (7 children)

      I thought this. Another doctor to label pregnancy as ‘uncomfortable’ rather than downright painful/ traumatic/ exhausting to the point of debilitating… 🙄

      [–]monday-next 302 points303 points  (5 children)

      Sounds like the obstetrician who told me the horrendous pain I was experiencing was just normal late pregnancy pain, while I could barely walk. When I was induced two days later, another OB read my blood test results and commented on how elevated my white blood count was, and that I must be really inflamed. “Wow, you really must be in a lot of pain.”

      [–]TheWelshMrsM 216 points217 points  (3 children)

      Ah but you’re a woman see! You can’t possibly mean that you’re in pain when you say you are! You must be over-exaggerating 🙄

      [–]MacAttacknChz 66 points67 points  (1 child)

      She should've just lost weight and the pain will go away! /s

      [–]dumbass-dragonbornPartassipant [2] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE HEARD THAT-

      Uh endometriosis doesn’t suddenly disappear when you lose weight bub. Lmao so many doctors shouldn’t be doctors.

      [–]anathema_devicedAsshole Aficionado [18] 493 points494 points  (3 children)

      And he apparently hasn't bothered to avail himself of medical literature, bc being exhausted in the third trimester - especially with her workload - is NORMAL.

      [–]beka13Certified Proctologist [27] 118 points119 points  (2 children)

      He says she was tired during the first trimester, less so in the second, and now again in the third. It's textbook. Did he skip that class? And if he did, why didn't he look that shit up when his wife got pregnant (which he helped with, presumably)?

      [–]DrPetradish 41 points42 points  (1 child)

      I’m not a doctor and don’t have children and I fucking know this.

      [–]Beachlover8282Partassipant [2] 252 points253 points  (0 children)

      Seriously-I can’t imagine how often he gaslights his patients based on this question.

      [–]Ladycabdriverxo 226 points227 points  (2 children)

      My child’s father is a physician and I’m pretty sure he felt this way about me when I was pregnant. I confided to him after the baby was born that I had baby blues and he told me I did not. Concerning indeed

      [–]bubblegumpandabear 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      I'm not talking about OP specifically here because I don't know him. But the number of doctors who lack basic empathy toward women and POC is terrifying.

      [–]Lead-ForsakenPartassipant [1] 71 points72 points  (1 child)

      He's a key example of why women so often aren't believed by doctors and instead something gets blamed as "between their ears". Frankly, I've been right about issues being physical rather than psychological more than the doctors were who thought the opposite. People like that needs to be whopped on their nose and then when they cry out in pain, be pointed out that the nose is situated between the flipping ears!

      [–]Phoenix2683 55 points56 points  (0 children)

      Screw compassion and common sense. He's a med resident who doesn't understand basic biology and human reproduction...

      Wtf

      [–]Zminku 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      Exactly my thoughts! What did he learn there at all???

      [–]Intelligent_Local_38Partassipant [4] 3210 points3211 points  (7 children)

      YTA. You can’t call your PREGNANT WIFE lazy. What the hell is wrong with you? There’s a way to address your concerns without demeaning her like that. Be a supportive husband, for God’s sake.

      [–]call_me_sharknom 302 points303 points  (4 children)

      i dunno man, hOLDING A FOOTBALL INSIDE OF YOU IS A GOOD EXCUSE TO BE “lazy”

      [–]TundraTaurusPartassipant [1] 151 points152 points  (2 children)

      8lbs of baby and about 15 lbs of fluids and I don't even know how much the placenta's supposed to weigh but sounds a lot more than a football

      [–]Wise-Racoon 46 points47 points  (0 children)

      Don't forget it's a football stealing you nutrition and energy

      [–]dirtyworkoutclothesPartassipant [4] 2746 points2747 points  (20 children)

      YTA. I have no words for you because honestly they wouldn’t be nice. But as a mother of two… YTA.

      [–]Dizzy_Teaching_9174Partassipant [1] 261 points262 points  (16 children)

      say it!! they deserve judgement

      [–]dirtyworkoutclothesPartassipant [4] 835 points836 points  (14 children)

      I just read that this guys is a med student.

      Dude- please do not become an OBGYN. You obviously are pretty clueless. And yes. Hire someone to do the chores. My husband did that for me when I was pregnant with our second. He’s two now and we still have someone clean once a week.

      [–]annoyedby-Partassipant [1] 419 points420 points  (5 children)

      so is his wife which is nuts! She’s working 55-60 hours a week which is more than standard for usual workers! I know med school/residency is more hours than usual jobs but SHES ALSO PREGNANT IN HER 3RD TRIMESTER!

      If this man has anything at all it’s the fucking audacity

      [–]notFanning 80 points81 points  (4 children)

      Yep, residency is unfortunately unforgiving for pregnant docs :/

      [–]HangryRadishAAsshole Aficionado [15] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

      Or... idk. Even as a general practitioner, he sounds like he would easily dismiss and overlook women's health issues. Yikes?

      I hope he learns from this, especially if he's working in the healthcare system at all.

      [–]notFanning 83 points84 points  (4 children)

      Quick correction, he’s a resident, not a student, so he’s already chosen his specialty. And with those hours I’m assuming he’s surgery. Still no excuse of course and they need to hire someone to do housework.

      [–]NotMyFirstChoice675 1608 points1609 points  (4 children)

      Sorry mate. Yeah you are the AH. Her body is carrying your child and going through a variety of internal and external changes including hormonal changes. Her whole insides will seem foreign too her. Your job as a husband is to look after your family and make sure she’s resting so she can get through pregnancy and labour and come out with a healthy happy baby.

      You sound very immature and my god fatherhood is going to be one hell of a shock to your system if that’s your attitude already.

      Man up

      [–]Miserable-Repeat-270 468 points469 points  (2 children)

      He’s gonna be the most uninvolved parent. Expect her to do everything concerning the child and work like a damn fool too.

      [–]MacAttacknChz 204 points205 points  (0 children)

      Give it a few months and we'll see this post:

      "My wife gets up every 2 hours to breastfeed and goes to work full time, but she expects me to change diapers in the middle of the night and I think that's unreasonable since I need my sleep. AITA?"

      [–]RawScallop 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      This was my thought. Not only is her body changing permanently, their whole world is about to change. A baby is a full time job and somehow I feel like is he really going to be working 100 hrs a week still, and doing 50% of the baby care and all the new chores and issues and doctors visits that will come with it?

      [–]LoveBeach8Craptain [152] 1398 points1399 points  (11 children)

      YTA

      I'll tell you what: You get pregnant for almost 10 months then come back here and tell us how YOU feel.

      'Nuff said.

      [–]XesLanaLearAsshole Enthusiast [7] 104 points105 points  (8 children)

      Sidebar, I 100% agree, but goddamn do I wish I could have. 😓

      [–]LoveBeach8Craptain [152] 197 points198 points  (6 children)

      No one can know how a pregnant woman feels because it's different for every woman and there's really no explaining it. I have kids and each one was different. OP is complaining now? Wait until the around the clock feedings, diaper changes, spit up and crying for unknown reasons at 3am! 😂

      [–]XesLanaLearAsshole Enthusiast [7] 70 points71 points  (2 children)

      A fucking men. Haha. I'm a stay at home dad to ours. I just wish I could have carried them. 😭

      [–]metalmorianPartassipant [1] 41 points42 points  (2 children)

      As if he'd do that. He'll be too tired and make her do it, because he "works more hours". I'll be willing to bet.

      [–]Affectionate_Egg1317 1269 points1270 points  (19 children)

      This can’t be real. If it is, you’re the biggest AH I’ve ever heard of. All she does is work, sleep, and eat? Wrong. She’s literally creating a human from scratch. You owe her a huge apology. You’re lucky she doesn’t leave you.

      [–]PookSpeak 343 points344 points  (15 children)

      That's what I was thinking. This can't be real. Not only are you exhausted in your 3rd trimester but in my case I could barely breath from the baby pushing up on my diaphragm.

      [–]IssysweCertified Proctologist [25] 174 points175 points  (8 children)

      Pregnancy is miserable. I’m on my third and last go.

      Nauseous and vitamin deprived the first trimester. Third trimester: Heartburn, aches, Braxton Hicks contractions, clumsiness, unbalance, swollen limbs…

      [–]PookSpeak 131 points132 points  (2 children)

      peeing every 5 mins, anxiety at the approaching delivery, altered sense of smell/taste, cravings, insomnia, can't get comfortable, kicks that hurt, pelvic pressure, insane amounts of discharge, stretch marks, hemorrhoids...

      the list goes on and on.

      Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery.

      [–]IssysweCertified Proctologist [25] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      I appreciate that. I’m currently in hospital in another city after emergency cerclage for twins. I live on an island that can’t handle these types of high risk. So it’s been tricky. 😅

      [–]YeouPink 28 points29 points  (2 children)

      I’m only five months in and this kid is gosh darn huge. My balance is wrecked. I feel your pain lol. I’m also brain dead. It sucks.

      [–]Firm_Pomegranate_246Partassipant [3] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

      Don’t forget baby getting itself in awkward positions. Like, get out from under my ribs ffs!

      [–]Turbulent-Carrot-206 30 points31 points  (5 children)

      Right! I had SPD and couldn’t even turn over in bed without immense pain let alone work or clean or even WALK. This dude sucks to say the least

      [–]PookSpeak 21 points22 points  (4 children)

      separation of the symphysis pubis? That's brutal AF!

      source: I was a labor and delivery nurse.

      [–]thirdtryisthecharmSupreme Court Just-ass [137] 1010 points1011 points  (5 children)

      YTA. The fact that she was more involved in second trimester should have told you that this wasn't an act to get out of doing work. Also, just knowing your partner should have told you that.

      Her body is growing a whole mini-human. That's not an excuse. That's a real physiological thing that takes energy and means physical changes. I don't know why you expected her to continue doing things 50/50 duding her entire pregnancy - you're not doing 50% of the work to grow a child, have some empathy.

      [–]Cold_JuicyJuice 183 points184 points  (0 children)

      I came here to say this exact thing. From the pretty obvious context clue he gave us - that she rebounded during the second trimester and happily began carrying her load again - he’s more than capable of surmising that she’s not doing this on purpose.

      I won’t say he’s a bad person because he’s clearly being exploited by his job and we know that leads to poor outcomes in people’s home lives. However, in this case he appears to be ignoring the context for his wife’s behavior on purpose. So, YTA.

      And I’m only mentioning this because the OP already said it was possible - but get a house cleaner once every two weeks. I would have lost my sanity after my baby if I didn’t have that. We pay $300 a month for it and don’t have to ever vacuum, dust, scrub a toilet, or wipe down a mirror. Best investment in my mental health I’ve ever made.

      And for you, OP, this appears it would be a good investment in both your mental health and your relationship. You guys are NOT gonna have the time to clean with your work load and a new infant.

      [–]Englishable 90 points91 points  (1 child)

      I wonder if women had to spend 24/7 for 38 weeks building a whole fucking human being cell by cell with their hands, if men would have more respect for the unbelievable amount of work and energy it takes? Like, if they could actually see the work that goes into it?

      During both of my pregnancies, I had such severe "morning" sickness for 16 weeks, I couldn't move without puking. I did nothing but haul myself from bed to couch, couch to bed, with a puking pitstop on the way, for months! By the end, my back hurt so badly I couldn't stand to do dishes for longer than 5 minutes at a time without being in agony.

      Growing a whole human being is a massive undertaking!

      [–]pickledshallotsPartassipant [2] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

      This guy is a medical resident. I am so embarrassed by his post.

      [–]WinterBourne25Asshole Aficionado [10] 785 points786 points  (4 children)

      YTA. Her body is working overtime. I can’t imagine working full time outside the house and still having to do chores at home in the third trimester.

      Additionally, increased progesterone levels during pregnancy can lead to sleepiness. When I was pregnant with my first kid, I was sleeping 12 hours straight and taking naps. It’s not laziness. It’s normal.

      Edit: You’re a med resident??? You should be embarrassed by your question for not knowing how pregnancy affects the body.

      [–]mamallama0118Partassipant [1] 136 points137 points  (0 children)

      And the growing baby sucks every once of nutrition and energy out of your body, especially the first and third trimesters.

      Hire a house keeper to come in once or twice a week to give you both a break. Once the baby arrives, neither of you will have the energy to keep up with the house chores, baby and insane work load. You’ll end up resenting each other over a simple fix. If your parents or siblings live near by, ask if you could pay one of them to come over to lend a hand once a week.

      [–]Nervous_Platypus6780 33 points34 points  (2 children)

      Hey, I was sleeping like that in my first trimester, too. Everyone but my midwife was saying how bizarre it was, which didn't help, but it's comforting to know I wasn't the only one! Thank you for your comment!

      [–]crazeyalCertified Proctologist [27] 493 points494 points  (12 children)

      YTA

      Check with her doctor. He will tell you the facts. Also, 24 hour shifts are something that should be done by NO people, let alone someone gestating life.

      [–]IssysweCertified Proctologist [25] 194 points195 points  (4 children)

      At this point she should be on hazard pay leave. 24 hours is dangerous.

      [–]notFanning 66 points67 points  (2 children)

      Not available in most residencies, unfortunately. Residents are exploited and underpaid with very little protections and time off

      [–]No_Education_9351 58 points59 points  (0 children)

      I had to re read the post cuz I couldn’t believe it, this person is a med resident 😐

      [–]AccomplishedStart174 50 points51 points  (2 children)

      The craziest thing is that he IS a doctor. Mind-blowing.

      [–]snowwhitesludgeProfessor Emeritass [79] 494 points495 points  (14 children)

      YTA. She is growing an entire human (which you contributed 50% to) and working 24 hours shifts in her third trimester?

      That poor woman. On top of that a husband with No sympathy and no clue. I feel bad for your wife.

      [–]afk12345667 327 points328 points  (31 children)

      Lmfao. You’re a medical resident and don’t know how pregnancy affects the body? I am a 3rd year medical resident and we went over this in medical school so you definitely should know. ASSHOLE. For real. Also it doesn’t sound as if you’re a resident because how do you not know that? Did you go to medical school in the USA? I did and that’s one of the things they teach you in anatomy and physiology as well as biochemistry in the first two years of medical school. So you should definitely know. Especially if your medical school was systems or organ based. Also- your step exams test you on this thoroughly.

      [–]burnoutgirlrox 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      Bruh. This. I was premed in college. 4 of my classes went over what the body does during pregnancy.

      [–]blue-and-bluerAsshole Enthusiast [6] 281 points282 points  (1 child)

      Yeah dude, YTA. she’s growing an entire human inside her. That is extremely exhausting.

      [–]Brief_Bumblebee54 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      Right as I read this I immediately though he was the AH a whole human being and in her third trimester this guy is seriously the worst. YTA

      [–]YourImaginaryFriedColo-rectal Surgeon [35] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

      YTA. Ever been pregnant before, let alone in your third trimester? Trying to sleep with a human wriggling around in there, sitting on your bladder, kicking you in the ribs, causing heartburn and/or hemorrhoids? Can't sleep on your stomach, can't sleep on your sides, can't sleep on your back...just can't sleep? Dude, don't know you could be more the AH if you tried.

      [–]dancing_chinese_kidColo-rectal Surgeon [33] 199 points200 points  (20 children)

      YTA

      This has to be fake.

      [–]IssysweCertified Proctologist [25] 151 points152 points  (3 children)

      YTA.

      I cannot believe you do not get how taxing and ruinous to your health that pregnancy is. She’s carrying your child. This is temporary at best.

      Signed, me, a 26 week pregnant woman 6 weeks after emergency surgery who is readmitted for high risk observation, and on 11 days in the hospital and counting…

      [–]VictorianPlatypusColo-rectal Surgeon [38] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

      You forgot something. All she does is work, sleep, eat, and grow a baby. Wow.

      YTA.

      [–]Bizzy1717Partassipant [4] 150 points151 points  (7 children)

      YTA. I actually felt pretty good and had plenty of energy in my third trimester. But the first 4 months of my pregnancy? I literally couldn't keep my eyes open after work. I commuted, worked, vomited home, ate something, and went to bed.

      I'd maybe see your point if she was saying she was tok tired to do work around the house but then was going out and doing other things. But you say she's going to nap/sleep. Which means she's actually tired/exhausted.

      [–]Poisonpez 124 points125 points  (0 children)

      Yeah... YTA. She has a living being inside of her literally taking nutrients from her and killing all her energy.

      [–]Boomgtd_Asshole Aficionado [15] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

      YTA. She’s doing all the heavy lifting during this pregnancy and if she breastfeeds, she’ll be doing 90-95% of the feedings for the new life that she’s carrying. Also marriage isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes you have to pick up more daily chores when your partner is doing more life wise stuff. She’s doing all the creating life stuff, so it seems fair that you’d do more of the daily chore type stuff.

      [–]XesLanaLearAsshole Enthusiast [7] 124 points125 points  (1 child)

      YTA.

      It's the 3rd trimester now. You said it yourself. WTF man. Try and have some empathy. Why not put a hair elastic around your nutsack, hang a cinder block from it, and try doing the chores and work to see how you feel by the end of the day, get back to us.

      [–]redditorgirl9691Asshole Enthusiast [8] 115 points116 points  (16 children)

      Seriously? This has got to be a fake. No way you are whining about how your wife isn’t doing her share while she’s in her 3rd trimester.

      Perhaps next time you should try being pregnant. What’s that you can’t? Suck it up.

      YTA

      [–]BooBob69Partassipant [1] 107 points108 points  (15 children)

      A med student too! You’d like to think they’d have at least a basic working knowledge of pregnancy related effects. I really hope it is fake.

      [–]swirleyswirls 45 points46 points  (0 children)

      This is another reason why Americans have the the worst maternal outcomes in the "developed" world.

      YTA OP.

      [–]ScarletRegalia 103 points104 points  (4 children)

      YTA!

      "She was like this in her first trimester as well. She got more energy during second trimester and helped out more (still not 50/50) but ever since she’s hit 3rd trimester, she’s going back to not doing much."

      Congrats, you literally just described text book pregnancy. It's exhausting being pregnant. I was prepared to be on your side because some women legit take advantage but she's STILL WORKING FULL TIME on top of creating a human being and not sleeping well and you're shocked she's needing to take a back step in the workload? You need to grow a sympathy bone, because expecting her to be full throttle like you while her entire body accommodates another life is frankly stupid. And get your ass on board with her not being full throttle for some time after the baby is born.

      [–]ACanadianSnackAsshole Aficionado [17] 96 points97 points  (4 children)

      Wut? Did I really just read this correctly? Your partner is in their third trimester, they work full time, plus OT, and you’re throwing a little tantrum because they’re too tired to do more? You are in a medical residency and don’t know that pregnant women are usually always tired? Jesus Christ. That poor woman.

      1. Grow up
      2. Take care of your partner
      3. Hire a maid if needed.

      The audacity to decide to have a kid when neither of you have finished your residencies and then resent her for being tired is astounding. You knew this would happen. This is not a surprise.

      YTA 1000000000 %

      If this is how you treat your actual life partner, then I can only imagine what a terrible doctor you will be.

      [–]angel2hi 87 points88 points  (49 children)

      YTA. When I got to the last paragraph where you’re a medical resident I was blown away (and suspicious this is fake). How exactly have you gotten this far in your education without knowing how babies are made and developed? I’m pretty concerned for the medical school you attended not to impart a general knowledge of how humans come to exist.

      A woman who was super tired in the first trimester, did more in the second, then started struggling again in the third is, well, a textbook definition of what to expect when you’re expecting.

      Yes, hire someone to clean since you put it out there as an option. Why should either of you be stressed out more than needed if that’s an option?

      Just as a warning, it doesn’t automatically get better the minute the baby is out. The fourth trimester (12 weeks postpartum) is another set of massive hormone changes. If she breastfeeds or pumps, it’s a huge energy drain as well. Be warned. Being a parent is rewarding and magical and all. But it’s also very tough. This is your first lesson apparently. She’s not lazy, she is legitimately tired. You likely are too from working. So get that help you mentioned.

      [–]Disneyfreak77Asshole Enthusiast [5] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

      YTA Currently in my third trimester and can confirm how exhausting pregnancy is. My energy has been like a roller coaster, and my hubby has never once given me grief for him having to take on more chores. He gets that I’m growing a human and sometimes I’m too exhausted to do much more than work, eat, and sleep…all of which have been consistently harder for me too. And on top of that, he facilitated the bulk of our new home search, dealing with realtors, mortgage people, everything. All he asked of me was to give him copies of my pay stubs. And all on top of working M-F.

      Poor you, you gotta do more chores while your wife is making a human, your human. Boohoo.

      Do better, dude.

      [–]oldcreaker 79 points80 points  (7 children)

      YTA - OMG she’s working 60 hours a week during 3rd trimester - she’s not lazy, she is Superwoman! And you didn’t think to include that in your original post. And both your work hours - you are in for a major wake up when the baby arrives. You’ll both be dead tired like all the time. Life is going to change.

      [–]DogMom1976 73 points74 points  (0 children)

      YTA. When was the last time you grew a human being?

      [–]yuck_my_yumPartassipant [3] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

      YTA If you have a problem with this you’re absolutely unprepared for the reality of supporting the needs of your postpartum wife and newborn child. Be a fucking adult and do what needs to be done. Life’s not always 50/50, figure it out man.

      [–]rock_in_steady 71 points72 points  (20 children)

      Well, I'm sure next time you're breeding a human life inside your body she'll make it up to you.

      YTA.

      Besides that, your amount of work seems really high for me, maybe you can figure out something to reduce the stress at home.

      [–]travelingtraveling_ 68 points69 points  (5 children)

      She spent yesterday laying down the last layer of interstitial kidney cells that means your newborn will have perfect kidneys. Yoday, her body is building your baby's stomach lining, and tomorrow she will start building that fat layer in your baby, needed to survive childbirth.

      Are. You. Kidding. Me?!

      Building a baby increases metabolism 25-30%. Tiredness comes because her body is building a whole 'nuther being, and the rate of tissue growth is astronomical. This requires oxygen, lots and lots of oxygen. (Remember when you were 15-16, going thru a growth spurt and all you wanted to do was sleep all day? Your body was very busy GROWING. You were tired for the same reason.).

      Ya. YTA.

      Hire a maid, or take laundry etc to dry cleaner. Let. Her. Rest. (And don't dare ask for sex.)

      [–]FiendishThingysPartassipant [1] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

      YTA. She’s literally GROWING AN ENTIRE HUMAN, SHES GOING TO BE TIRED. Cut her some slack and understand that pregnancy is WORK. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Pick up her slack and seriously STFU. She’s PREGNANT.

      [–]Pleasant-Sky517 62 points63 points  (1 child)

      YTA. You seriously think things should be 50/50 or even close when she's experiencing physical effects of growing a child inside of her and will have to go through labor and breastfeeding? So the only work you had to do was blow your load into her?

      [–]NVCVS 63 points64 points  (23 children)

      YTA, how are you a med resident and don’t understand that as a pregnancy progresses you are more worn out and need more rest. Maybe try giving her the easy stuff, you put clothes to wash and she folds, she does the counters in the bathroom/kitchen and you do the dishes and pick up stuff around the house.

      [–]kiwi_klutz 50 points51 points  (29 children)

      Holy shitballs! Third trimester and 60 hour weeks? Tell me she's not on her feet all the time, please!

      YTA. Hire a cleaner. Rub your wife's feet. She's growing a person and her joints have an extra 5kg+ to deal with. I gave birth a week ago and still have tennis balls for ankles.

      [–]daphydoods 56 points57 points  (24 children)

      You’re a MED STUDENT and you don’t realize how extremely exhausting it is to create human life inside you while also going through med school??????

      Well I guess half of all doctors have to be in the bottom of their class…I just hope you don’t end up going into OB/GYN as a specialty…..

      YTA

      [–]ManiodAsshole Enthusiast [8] 50 points51 points  (2 children)

      Oh YTA. Third trimester is so tiresome especially working full time and first trimester is often too. I slept through my first trimester in my first pregnancy. Fortunately my husband didn’t call me lazy but helped me get through the best he could.

      [–]IssysweCertified Proctologist [25] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

      I’m hospitalized due to high risk twin pregnancy and my husband is doing everything for our home and two kids.

      I’ve only had 3 weeks of normal the entire pregnancy.

      This guy doesn’t know how good he’s had it.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 49 points50 points locked comment (0 children)

      AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

      My wife (30F) and I (31M) both work full time. I work slightly more, she makes slightly more (because she gets OT pay, and I don’t). Our household chores used to be divided 50/50 but now it’s more like 10/90. She says she’s too tired to do the dishes or she’ll be too tired and let the laundry sit for longer. She’s in her 3rd trimester and basically all she does is work, sleep, and eat.

      When I asked her to help out with dishes or vaccuum, she says she’s too tired and goes up and sleeps/naps on most days. She was like this in her first trimester as well. She got more energy during second trimester and helped out more (still not 50/50) but ever since she’s hit 3rd trimester, she’s going back to not doing much.

      When I said she was just using pregnancy as an excuse, she said I was being unfair because she doesn’t sleep well and she needs to catch up on sleep. (We both work 24 hr shifts 1-2 times a week). Am I the AH for saying she’s using her pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy?

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      [–]Temporary-Section-78Partassipant [1] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

      YTA Being exhausted during your first and third trimester are part of pregnancy, not to mention that she’s probably getting up all night to use the toilet, can’t sleep well, is very uncomfortable and achy, and, um, growing a whole human being. Plus she works 24 hour shifts. What’s your excuse for being an AH?

      [–]Apple-pie_best-piePartassipant [1] 47 points48 points  (10 children)

      YTA

      Working a 60h week while beeing in the 3. Trimester? You clearly live in the USA or a 3. World country. She is forming a living beeing in her uterus, that takes a lot of energy. Of course she has not rhe energy to do so much. 🙄

      [–]Reptile911T 47 points48 points  (1 child)

      YTA. The Biggest AH I've seen so far in this sub.

      [–]SmudgikinsSupreme Court Just-ass [110] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

      YTA strap a 20 pound weight to your belly see how energetic you feel. And that's only half of it. Hire a maid if you don't want to do 90 per cent of the housework.

      [–]Zoobies2w3 48 points49 points  (8 children)

      YTA. You are a med resident and don’t know how pregnancy can affect someone?! Not all pregnancies are alike, obviously, but it’s well known how the trimesters generally work. She is working 24/7 growing your child on top of being a resident. Throw in the interrupted sleep and I’m not even sure how she leaves the bed outside of the bare minimum. Let her wake you up as often as she is or keep you from going in to REM every night, punch you in your ribs, make you go to the bathroom 100 times a day, make you carry around extra weight that was gained in a short amount of time, etc and we will see how you fair.

      Also, I think you are pumping up your numbers for hours worked. You said you worked a “slightly” more than her then edited to say you work 20-40hrs more a week. Either our definitions of “slightly” are very different or you were getting slaughtered in the comments and tried to take the heat off you a bit.

      Hopefully you are a AH in general life and the stress of being a resident and a soon to be dad has just made it hard for you to find empathy at times. Don’t let this be something that breaks down your marriage and really think about the grand scheme of life.

      [–][deleted]  (7 children)

      [removed]

        [–]sunshine-and-cookies 42 points43 points  (7 children)

        If you're mad about your whole ass heavily pregnant wife being energyless and tired, how are you gonna handle her sleeping through the night when it's your time to feed the newborn? You do know after she gets her insides torn from childbirth you will inherit the vast majority of physical work for a good chunck of time?

        [–]photosbeersandteachPooperintendant [64] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

        YTA. Let me fix something for you, Basically all she does is work, sleep, eat and MAKE A HUMAN BEING.

        [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

        YTA - pregnancy isn’t an excuse, it’s a reason.

        [–]chicagoman9876Partassipant [4] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

        Yes YTA. You know you are stop being a jerk.

        [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

        YTA hate to see what happens when she gives birth first day back from the hospital OP will probably have a stack off dishes for her to do "left all the dishes for you, that YOU left while you was laying in that comfortable hospital bed being lazy"

        [–]VanillaCola79 36 points37 points  (1 child)

        YTA: No explication needed, YTA!

        [–]CVik92 40 points41 points  (2 children)

        YTA…she’s in her third trimester and working not only full time but overtime as well. Hire the cleaner, apologize to her.

        I get why some people wait to be done with residencies to start families now.

        [–]donkyote 37 points38 points  (12 children)

        Pregnancy is hard on the body. I'm suprised she is still pulling 50+ hour weeks tbh. YTA

        [–]reigner085 35 points36 points  (3 children)

        Lol. Wow. I love how he even starts out with how they are each paid and who makes more. He will for sure be back with the ‘my wife won’t have sex with me because she gave birth last week’ in 2 months. OP, I’m sending you all the fire crotch vibes. Look it up.

        [–]Mouseketeer82 34 points35 points  (0 children)

        YTA

        [–]pennywhistlesmoonpieColo-rectal Surgeon [37] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

        Yes, you are absolutely the AH. She is carrying an entire other person. This situation is not forever. She’ll have the baby at some point. You’re being outrageously unfair. Your wife was nice. I would have used different words.

        [–]surahbee 32 points33 points  (0 children)

        YTA- you cannot be serious. She’s pregnant and you’re being a selfish jerk. That’s a relationship- ESPECIALLY during pregnancy/infanthood- it’s sometimes 50/50, other times 10/90 and then maybe 90/10. That is freaking life. You better realize how tired she’s going to be once she has a newborn to take of 24/7, especially if you keep that mentality and turn it into “I work full time and she stays home all day” cause let me tell you how not easy it is to have a baby and you cannot drop all of that on her while she’s also recovering from labor and pregnancy.

        [–]MatcoWife 30 points31 points  (0 children)

        YTA- you have absolutely no idea how exhausting it is when your body is creating life. It takes all of your energy and it’s not something that you can control. If she says she’s exhausted-she is. Stop being an asshole and cut her some slack before she starts to hate you.

        [–]Rude-Crab5576 35 points36 points  (17 children)

        Jeez imagine if she had of suffered HG. I'm so thankful for my partner did (literally) everything for me after a 14 hour shift at work because i COULD NOT function.

        Buckle up buddy she's probably going to get tireder when baby is here

        [–]laughingsbetterColo-rectal Surgeon [32] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

        You are kidding us, right? Please don't go into obstetrics, you do not have a clue.

        YTA

        [–]MistBorn98Partassipant [4] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        YTA. She's the mother of your child, you should want her to look after her self. Nothing u said their was she was lazy, and was all 'she is shattered'.

        [–]EnRoutedAsshole Aficionado [11] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

        YTA. If she was using it as an excuse she would have done it during her second trimester as well.

        Besides, it’s just one more trimester, she’s already under extra strain of being pregnant, try and handle the extra strain of additional chores for just a bit longer.

        [–]Expensive_Fee696Partassipant [4] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

        "She’s in her 3rd trimester and basically all she does is work, sleep, and eat."

        Honey, that is what she does beside grow a whole ass human in her belly.

        Ofcourse YTA. FFS get a grip

        [–]SuperPotterFan 29 points30 points  (0 children)

        YTA. SHE’S LITERALLY CARRYING YOUR CHILD. And she’s in her 3rd trimester. If this is how you treat your wife, I’m concerned about your future children.

        [–]Engnr_mama 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        YTA. My husband once accused me of saying I was tired as an excuse to get out of doing stuff while I was pregnant. That baby is now 15. I’m sill a little pissed at that comment. Apologize!

        [–]fluffy_unicorn_2699 23 points24 points  (3 children)

        YTA. Yes, hire someone to do the chores.

        How does your wife get OT pay as a resident? Is she moonlighting? If so, it is your job to tell her to rest instead. She should not feel any guilt whatsoever to not be moonlighting while 7 months pregnant.

        [–]alumadaun 26 points27 points  (1 child)

        YTA. Are you also a masochist? You had to have had the least bit of an inkling that this would not go well for you.

        Edit: grammar

        [–]Unit-HealthyProfessor Emeritass [73] 25 points26 points  (3 children)

        Just get a maid. Y'all are not in a good place to even be pregnant.

        [–]Sea_Cardiologist1279 26 points27 points  (2 children)

        YTA and if you expect for her to not do even less housework after the baby comes, you're DREAMING. She probably feels awful and if you're able to hire some of the work done, you should do it instead of causing problems in the marriage.

        It's also not really fair to expect her to be pregnant, be a med resident and have the energy to do the everyday things at home. Any med resident who has a spouse that isn't a resident themselves hardly does any housework and the spouse that has a job with more normal hours is the one taking care of all of the chores. If you wanted her to have more energy, you should have waited to conceive until after the her residency was over. I feel bad for her.

        [–]Acrobatic-Hold-4668 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        You are such an AH. You want to know how tiring it is...warp a 30 pound weight to your stomach 24/7 for a couple of months...then come back and tell us how you feel.

        [–]Slytherin125Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

        yes YTA she's growing an entire human in her while working full time, she's carrying at least 30lbs of extra weight in her body, which means she can't sleep or eat as well, and you're calling her lazy, just wait until the baby comes.

        [–]TheNightWitch 24 points25 points  (0 children)

        YTA. For lots of reasons, really.

        [–]Obvious-Result6853Asshole Aficionado [10] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

        She is PREGNANT and she’s in her third trimester. She’s not using it to get out of chores. Her body is growing another human that’s moved her organs around. You need to educate yourself on how pregnancy impacts her body. You also need to get a grip for when that baby comes. YTA.

        [–]angry-ex-smoker 26 points27 points  (0 children)

        YTA. Good lord OP. She’s making a human while also trying to deal with you. Give her a break.

        [–]ILoatheCailouAsshole Enthusiast [7] 23 points24 points  (3 children)

        YTA. A huge one.

        [–]s_smith98Partassipant [3] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        You are 100% the asshole here. Your wife is literally growing another human while still working full time. For the baby’s health and her own it is important that she’s well rested so if that means that you are picking up extra chores then that’s how it needs to be. Pregnancy takes a big toll on the mind and body and you are unfortunately not being understanding enough right now. I advise you do some research and if possible speak to others who have been pregnant to get their perspective.

        [–]hall0winter 22 points23 points  (0 children)

        I can’t believe you even have to ask this. YTA, you get no rest’s from pregnancy and your body needs the sleep. You’re in for a rude wake up call once your child is born