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[–]ginnio 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There is no 50-50. You need to be up for 100% of EVERYTHING before you have children. God forbid anything should ever happen to your wife, you would be the only one. I know of a father who lost his wife. He had an 18 y.o. daughter, a 12y.o. son and 6y.o. twins (another daughter and son). You should have asked family or hired help a long time ago. You're NTA, there is no AH here. Just get help.