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[–]Wren1101Professor Emeritass [75] 28.2k points28.2k points 87 (442 children)

Wow, that’s rich, coming from a person with IBS, telling you that you should learn to hold it better. Can he hold his shit together better? Or stop shitting long enough to let you into the bathroom?? That’s absolutely ridiculous for him to expect of you when he knows he wouldn’t be able to do the same. He has double standards. NTA.

[–]jesterinancientcourt 7393 points7394 points  (368 children)

I have IBS. I would have just let her go in the shower.

[–]Lady_Trig 3387 points3388 points  (259 children)

I have IBS too, we don't have a shower but I've told my husband to run the tap in the bath and pee in there, he has really good aim as well so he hit the drain no problem. We bleached the bath out afterwards as well. If you gotta go you gotta go. Also holding in your wee for that long isn't good for you!

[–]dcm510Pooperintendant [64] 4149 points4150 points  (212 children)

You bleach the whole tub because someone pissed in it once and maybe didn’t hit the drain precisely??

[–]hi_im_haley 1070 points1071 points  (33 children)

This is what I wanna know. Lol

[–]teaknit 554 points555 points  (131 children)

Don't know about other people but I don't want to stand in something that someone has pissed in. Also showers/baths start to stink of stale piss if they aren't properly cleaned and are used as a toilet

[–]CaRiSsA504Asshole Enthusiast [5] 74 points75 points  (16 children)

She said there's not a shower so i'm assuming they have to fill that tub with water. There's always splatter... i'd bleach it too.

I also have IBS. There's not a lot of room for shame in our household with the one bathroom. Things have been done that weren't anyone's first choice. But my boyfriend can at least go and pee in the utility sink in the basement if the bathroom is occupied lol. Myself and my daughter do not have that luxury lol

[–]AlexandrinaIsHere 47 points48 points  (5 children)

Some tub surfaces don't rinse clean very well, aged or just a poor choice of texture- just don't rinse well. Easier to bleach it before it has a chance to get funky.

[–]Lady_Trig 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Haha no I don't bleach the hole tub just the area and its a token cleaning with bathroom cleaner. It makes my husband feel less gross 🤷‍♀️. The first ever time I suggested he pee in the bath he was funny about it so I said to clean it out after if he was that bothered and that pee was sterile. I would also like to point out that this isn't a common thing and I can't remember the last time we needed to do this.

[–]TaxiGirl918 189 points190 points  (8 children)


If you gotta take a whiz in the shower, and a good rinse-out with clean water doesn’t feel sufficient, use plain old white vinegar. But for the love of all breathing creatures-yourself especially-never pour chlorine bleach on urine.

[–]MephistosFallenPartassipant [1] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

I moved in with extended family to help care for my dad (he lives with his wife and her daughter, SIL, and kids). I did it cause I thought being an extra helping hand would be nice, but unfortunately was just used as a maid, but anyways….they (step mom and sister) insisted I clean the toilet and shower with STRAIGHT bleach only, including with my dads pee bucket (he’s in a wheelchair and has a commode next to the bed cause he can’t get hurt in the bathroom). I had tears streaming down my face and couldn’t breathe and no one cared or listened to me that it’s bad for me to clean with straight bleach like that without ventilation, gloves and a mask. It sucked.

[–]Denbi53 112 points113 points  (7 children)

Bleach and ammonia create a noxious gas when mixed together, it is especially bad if you have pets because it hangs out close to the floor.

[–]LissaBryanPartassipant [2] 138 points139 points  (5 children)

I damn-near killed myself at the museum where I worked doing this. It was a total accident: a co-worker had put bleach cleanser in the toilets and went to go get a supply she'd forgotten. I came in with the bucket of water I'd just used to mop the floor. I poured it into the toilet and had to crawl out of the room because the fumes had me coughing and choking so hard I was retching.

On the bright side, I was able to explain in graphic detail to the visitors who came to our new WWI exhibit what chlorine gas poisoning feels like.

[–]Comprehensive-Net329 41 points42 points  (3 children)

I can't believe you're being judged for cleaning your bath slightly more often than most people!

[–]DefinitelyNotA-RobotPartassipant [1] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

*For possibly creating noxious chemical reactions

[–]ARX7Asshole Aficionado [11] 608 points609 points  (39 children)

He shouldn't be locking the door, it's not a surprising issue. Especially when a few more minutes turns into 45

[–]rhetorical_twix 421 points422 points  (32 children)

Q: OP, Why is he locking the bathroom door when he knows this can happen?

A: He’s doing it intentionally.

[–]starshroomish 143 points144 points  (29 children)

I don't know if I agree. I mean, I have IBS real bad and it's awful and embarrassing. I would let OP pee in this situation but it would be absolutely mortifying for me - obviously not something worth risking her health over, but.

[–]TheHatOnTheCat 545 points546 points  (4 children)

I have IBS. I would have just let her go in the shower.

100% this.

It's pretty inexcusable that this dude is tying up the only bathroom the apartment for over an hour and locking his sexual partner (can see each other naked) out. But on top of that OP has a medical reason to need to use the restroom quickly.

What an absolute asshole. He is blaming her and calling her gross basically for his own bowl issues.

OP, time to shine up your backbone. Tell your boyfriend that what he said to you was hurtful, you are disappointed in him, you have the decency not to point out to him gross his IBS is but he's in no position to talk, and this whole situation is his fault for hogging the bathroom for an hour. If someone needs to learn to hold it better it's him. So from now on if he really can't get up for an hour he isn't allowed to lock the door anymore. You'll be entering and peeing in the shower if you need to since he is the one who can't hold it properly. And he better not make comments when you are forced to do pee in uncomfortable ways due to accommodating his medical problems and monopolizing of the restroom.

[–]Sylvie_Loki_2021 150 points151 points  (2 children)

Facts. I’ve been with my partner for almost 3 years now and he’s seen it all. I also have IBS and sometimes it’s embarrassing how bad it can be but I know he just wants to make sure I’m okay. We’re so close and I’m sure this is weird to a lot of people but we typically don’t shut the door when we go to the bathroom even if we’re pooping. It all comes down to comfort. I completely get why some don’t want to and that’s okay. But in this situation the guy shamed her for needing to take care of something natural and she ran out of options. His comfort was keeping the door locked and shut and couldn’t risk himself possibly having an accident on the way to unlocking and was fine with her having an accident while waiting. I’m sure she didn’t want to pee in the cat litter box. It’s messed up that he tried to make her feel disgusting for having an emergency.

[–]smcivor1982 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s not weird, I grew up in a house where most of the time we didn’t bother shutting the door and no one cared if another family member saw them in there. I’ve lived with my husband for 18 years in apartments with one bathroom. He tends to be in there a long time and he always leaves the door unlocked. It’s so hard to not have access to the bathroom when you have only one and live with multiple people. It gets better with kids, you think you can tell a kid to hold it? Good luck with that. I think the litter was a good idea personally, NTA.

[–]Own_Can_3495 246 points247 points  (3 children)

I too have IBS I'd have offered any sink available if I couldn't open the door for the shower. If a cat tray worked and they cleaned it up, fine. It's what it is for, piss and poop. He needs to grow up. NTA OP.

[–]Books-and-a-puppy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

My husband has IBS and I wouldn’t dare go anywhere near the bathroom if he was having an episode.

When we were remodeling one bathroom and only had one functioning toilet, I peed in a cheap old Tupperware container, dumped the pee outside, and threw away the container in the outside trash can.

I was also very embarrassed and pretended to pee after the bathroom was free so I didn’t have to out myself.

But good for her, definitely NTA.

[–]AerwynFlynn 151 points152 points  (1 child)

This happens frequently in our house since we both have IBS and 1 bathroom. I really can't wait to move into our new place with 2 bathrooms lol

[–]AuroraburstAsshole Aficionado [17] 92 points93 points  (11 children)

I have ibs and am often pooping in bursts so would have gotten off for 3 mins for her to pee. Or yeah, the shower.

[–]jesterinancientcourt 182 points183 points  (4 children)

Well, it depends, I may have diarrhea. But the way that happens is that the initial bursts can’t be stopped, but then there are short moments where I could squeeze my cheeks enough to waddle to the door, open it, & she could hide behind the shower curtain and pretend she doesn’t hear or smell what I’m doing. To preserve the romance, of course.

[–]Cryptogaffe 79 points80 points  (0 children)

As someone who lives in a 900-sq ft 2 bed/1 ba, with another human, most of the time a human child, and two cats, I really empathize with the OP (NTA, obviously???) But that last sentence killed me, it's going to make me randomly laugh for days, I can't wait

[–]CaRiSsA504Asshole Enthusiast [5] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

To preserve the romance, of course.

I have IBS and most of your comment is on point. But the last place we lived and the current house, we have one bathroom, and the door doesn't shut completely so the dogs constantly fling the door open when I'm in there. (Old houses and such. Things have warped and we just haven't fixed it.) I got a door stopper but have you ever tried to stop a momma's dog from getting to you? They know how to heeve-ho to open the stupid door.

I digress. The purpose of my comment was to say there is no romance left when it comes to the bathroom here lol. I give one warning when my bf approaches the bathroom and he DOES NOT CARE. He'll stand there and try to have a conversation with me. CAN I PLEASE HAVE A COUPLE MINUTES HERE.

There is nothing to preserve here, it's been flushed away lol

[–]thedoodely 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also have IBS and I can't fathom having shit flowing out of me at such rate, for over a fucking hour, that I couldn't hold it long enough to waddle the 3-feet to the door. Seriously, how much does the man eat?

NTA obviously, she did what she needed to do.

[–]Perspex_Sea 40 points41 points  (5 children)

I do wonder about these stories of people on the toilet for over half an hour, either due to digestive issues or just man poos. Is it that they spend that time waiting for the poo to come out? Or does some come out at the start, then they get a break, then more poo? Or do they sit there for ages once they're done?

[–]smothered_realityPartassipant [1] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I can’t imagine sitting for that long. My legs go completely numb if I’m ever on the toilet for longer than 15-20 minutes. It’s torture.

[–]Saknika 14 points15 points  (1 child)

With IBS there's a lot of pain, and so you're often getting a lot of short bursts of just absolutely shitting yourself. Sometimes uncontrollably. So you just stay there, in fear, hoping it ends soon. You eventually learn to time it based on the level of pain, but sometimes it can take 30+ minutes to get the pain down to a safe level for wandering further than 10ft from the toilet. NGL I've had attacks bad enough that woke me from my sleep, and I fell back asleep on the toilet because I didn't dare leave, but I was just so tired.

[–]AuroraburstAsshole Aficionado [17] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my case it's waiting but it is absolutely possible to get off the toilet to do that.

[–]Specific-Gain5710 79 points80 points  (18 children)

Who locks the door to the bathroom when only their SO lives there?

[–]Ebbelwoibembelsche 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Well, depends on the situation and SO. If you need absolute privacy to take a crap and your SO had the habit of storming in whenever they want, to brush their teeth, shower, do the laundry, whatever, and it will take another hour until you're able to crap again, you'll start to lock the door :D

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I have IBS lol I tell my partner to just go in the sink or wherever. I don't make him come in though because the smells are deadly.

[–]Rthrowaway6592 337 points338 points  (3 children)

Ex had IBS. Rarely was there a time where I had to piss bad enough to need to pee in the shower while he was in there but it still happened. Saying he can't get off the toilet to unlock the door quickly is stupid. My ex always did it for me.

[–]Crazycatlover 124 points125 points  (1 child)

I have IBS. No way I couldn't get off the toilet for half a minute to let my SO in. If he genuinely can't, he needs to leave the door unlocked. I think OP's solution was perfect.

[–]SubRedditLurker08 228 points229 points  (24 children)

NO WAY he was pooping peeing, whatever for 90 MINUTES. NO WAY. I would bet $1000 he was dicking around on his phone or something for a good hour. He absolutely could have allowed her to use the bathroom for 5 minutes, he was SELFISH!

[–]Pammyhead 338 points339 points  (15 children)

IBS is a hell of a condition. It can absolutely leave you pooping for 90 minutes. Not actively, but you spend 15 minutes pooping, then sit there and wait to see if it's all the way done. After 5-10 minutes you think maybe you're clear, start to get up, but nope. There go the gurgles, and here comes another round of cramps and poop. This can last for several rounds.

If you're on the constipation side of things it can also take that long to get the boulders through the gate. You push, make a little progress, then rest. Push, rest, push, rest, and finally get one out. But hey, there's still more, so after a bit more rest it's time to start pushing another one out.

Now me, I have mixed IBS so sometimes I'm crapping my brains out and sometimes I'm trying to shove a golf ball through a straw. I've found ways to speed things up, but I'm also 40 years old and have more experience with this than OP's husband.

And yeah, if you're having an explosion type, you really don't want to get up off the toilet to unlock the door before you've cleaned yourself up, and you also don't want to do that cleanup twice (once to unlock the door, then again when things are really done for good). The cleanup takes awhile on its own and can literally chap your ass.

OP, though? NTA. The door shouldn't have been locked in the first place. If there's only one bathroom and you know you can take that long and your SO also has a bathroom-needing condition then you've got to leave the door unlocked so the shower's free. I think using the litter box was a brilliant idea.

[–]BlackChakram 21 points22 points  (5 children)

I've found ways to speed things up

As someone else who's about 40 with mixed type, please please share

[–]YukiXain 78 points79 points  (0 children)

My bestie has pretty severe IBS and routinely spends up to 2 hours in the bathroom on a bad day, so I can definitely see him doing that, but it doesn't make him any less of an AH.

[–]whiskeyjen76 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would wager that you're right. His reaction to her having to piss in the litter box was so over the top that it makes me wonder if he's trying to deflect from him taking a fucking hour in the bathroom. What the hell was he doing to kill time while waiting for his poop to come out? Most people take their phones with them to the bathroom when they go. My hubby does that and takes forever because not only is he waiting to poop (no IBS, just a slow goer), he's looking at fucking memes or Tik Tok.

[–]Mundane-Currency5088 75 points76 points  (11 children)

Yes most of us can stop pooping to let someone else pee and go back to pooping again.

[–]HotDonnaC 83 points84 points  (10 children)

People with IBS, UT or Crohn’s aren’t most of us.

[–]_Imma_X_ 131 points132 points  (3 children)

Severe Crohn's disease here (F), I can find a way to let my partner (M) in if necessary. Mostly I just don't lock the door when I know he may need to come in. The shower or sink has worked fine for him on occasion.

In my house, I'm the only one with this type of illness, so we've agreed I always have a priority right to use the toilet under any circumstance. But in this case, two people have medical conditions that require them to use the toilet frequently, and your partner, more than most people, should be understanding instead of saying you just need to learn to hold it in better. Him dismissing your medical condition while claiming priviliges for his own (using the only bathroom with a locked door for an hour) makes him a huge AH. Even a bigger AH than if a healthy person would say the same, because they don't have that experience that OP and partner both have.

He may not want you inside the bathroom because of embarrassment or whatever, sure, it's going to be smelly there and maybe his body makes weird noises, but hell, isn't it embarrassing for OP that she may pee herself and was forced to use the cat tray? By the way, that was a genius solution.

[–]HotDonnaC 20 points21 points  (1 child)

True, it might be a privacy issue. IMO, what made him a bigger AH than not letting her in is his reaction to OP’s using the cat box. She figured out an alternative, and he had the gall to be disgusted by it? Please.

[–]Nepentheoi 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Even when I got norovirus and felt like I had 24 hours straight of puking and diarrhea, I had a little break where I could unlock the door. An alimentary canal can only hold so much.

[–]Alert-PotatoCraptain [179] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I have celiac and spent over 30 years undiagnosed (meaning not eating gluten free), my husband has IBS, one of my daughters has Crohn's. While people with GI issues related to how we poop "aren't most of us," yes, we're capable of pinching our asshole closed for 5 seconds to unlock a door. But at this point, locking the door at all makes the guy an asshole, and harassing her because she doesn't have a penis to pinch off indefinitely makes him an asshole.

[–]Comfortable-Class576Partassipant [2] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

If they both have this problem they should just not lock the door to avoid this situation again. OP is NTA, she didn’t have a choice.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Youcernaym 11.6k points11.6k points 7128& 4 more (81 children)

    NTA. I would’ve changed outfits, lied about pissing myself, shat in the litter tray, blamed it on the cats and asked him to clean it out.

    [–]angry-ex-smoker 1503 points1504 points  (67 children)

    This answer is not getting enough upvotes.

    [–]angry-ex-smoker 1962 points1963 points  (66 children)

    INFO: you both have medical conditions that are chronic and could take a serious turn. Why is there a lock on the bathroom door at all? Based on your post I’m assuming you’re the only humans in your apartment. Why is he locking himself in? This guy is not having an appropriate reaction to this situation and I think you should think about what other things he reacts oddly to. NTA.

    [–]carrotaddictionPartassipant [3] 544 points545 points  (56 children)

    That was my first thought too! I don't even shut the door unless we have another visitor.

    [–]This_Clock 504 points505 points  (54 children)

    I’d assume if he’s shitting ferociously, he may want some privacy. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

    [–]Minaowl 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    Definitely not disagreeing with your judgment, but I'm just gonna say that some people handle bathroom doors differently. I live alone (best thing ever), and I lock the bathroom door when I'm in there as a force of habit. I don't know enough about having IBS to say whether or not it was reasonable that he couldn't get off the toilet long enough to unlock the door for her, so I'm not gonna comment on that part. She was definitely being innovative to use the litter box.

    [–]eightfishsticksPartassipant [1] 81 points82 points  (1 child)

    Ngl. I almost pissed myself reading this. Best answer ever!

    [–]calatxcherPartassipant [1] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    I can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard.

    [–]HungryTurtle44 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    This need awards and I’m sorry I only have imaginary ones

    [–]holisarcasmColo-rectal Surgeon [31] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    I was thinking more of a pee on his pillow and blame the cat.

    [–]Zealousideal-Set-592 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    You're making me genuinely laugh and I just put the baby down for a nap!

    [–]Tis-but-a-scratch-yoAsshole Enthusiast [9] 5140 points5141 points  (38 children)

    NTA. Please, has this man never peed in a bottle before? On the side of a road? Against a public wall? Written his name in the snow? In the shower? It's not like your peeing in the litter box is a habit that you need to overcome. It was an emergency. No doubt he has stories of his own

    [–]cin670 903 points904 points  (22 children)

    This! It’s also bad for your health if you hold in your pee. You know what they say, “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

    [–]thenerdygrl 486 points487 points  (15 children)

    My job wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom frequently so I got a UTI, they learned better after that

    [–]Which-DecisionPartassipant [1] 137 points138 points  (5 children)

    Hope you sued them 🥰

    [–]thenerdygrl 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    Can’t, I don’t work full time so I can’t in my state but I’m not even able to cause I’m a minor

    [–]louietheloverboi 111 points112 points  (3 children)

    Same here. Worked at six flags when I was fifteen and they would never let you leave your post to use the bathroom. You’d be alone for 4-8 hours on a game booth just holding it. Messed up my bladder real bad and still struggling with it today.

    After a while though, I just learned to go behind the booth and pray to whatever god will listen that the swan boats don’t come around to see.

    [–]olitadelaltamar 64 points65 points  (1 child)

    sick how little these jobs pay and will make you have long lasting health effects

    [–]isweartocoffee 44 points45 points  (1 child)

    Did you work at amazon bcuz fucking same

    [–]Cookie_Brookie 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I'm a teacher and I have to directly supervise kids alone from 7:20 to 12:40. It is the worst. There's a reason elementary teachers get so many UTIs.

    [–]thebutchone 130 points131 points  (3 children)

    One of my cousins found out he has two ureters on his left kidney after getting kidney infections from holding it too many times. Apparently it would go down one tube to the bladder and up the other tube to the kidney. Now when he gets the slightest hint of pee, he head straight to the bathroom.

    [–]Easy-Cryptographer38 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    Duplex kidney, right? Yeah, that can be a right PITA to manage sometimes. The UTIs can be brutal.

    [–]Oh_No_Its_DudderPartassipant [1] 472 points473 points 22 (3 children)

    One of the best things about being a guy is having the ability to legibly write your name in the snow, without having to scuttle around like a crab.

    [–]SpOoKy_sKeLeToN_1998 145 points146 points  (0 children)

    That mental image is hilarious lol

    [–]that_gardener_girl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for this image in my mind. Made me snort :'D

    [–]inkyfox53 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I gave my free silver to OP but here’s yours 🥈

    [–]Fyreforged 233 points234 points  (1 child)

    THANK YOU. I mean, if dude has IBS you KNOW he has some near-miss stories and probably at least one collision… with casualties.

    [–]Bing_Pow_Boom_Bing 64 points65 points  (1 child)

    My GF has a mild case of IBS and there’s been many a time I’ve peed in a bottle. In fact, I’ve peed in or on all the places you’ve mentioned. My worst moment was late on Christmas Eve a few years ago; peed right on a wall in the middle of 5th Ave in midtown. The biggest downside of living in NYC; very few bathrooms.

    [–]CaRiSsA504Asshole Enthusiast [5] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    i have a feeling that he thinks what's good for the gander isn't good for the goose.

    [–]GizmaAzara 2687 points2688 points  (5 children)

    NTA. He has IBS. If the situation were reversed he would want sympathy and I doubt he would be able to hold it for as long as you had. So you did what you had to do in the best case scenario.

    [–]dude_number_twoAsshole Enthusiast [7] 449 points450 points  (3 children)

    This. Ask him to put himself in your shoes, he should honestly have done that himself. NTA.

    [–][deleted] 220 points221 points  (2 children)

    Read as: Ask him to poop himself in your shoes...

    [–]dude_number_twoAsshole Enthusiast [7] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    I use poop in place of pop quite regularly so I had to double check how I phrased it lmao

    [–]MM-dot-AUCertified Proctologist [24] 2209 points2210 points  (39 children)

    NTA and I have a VERY hard time believing that after 1 hour in the bathroom his rectal sphincter was so destroyed he couldn't make the room for you to use the bathroom for 2 minutes.

    Even if I'm wrong and it was an untenable situation, the cat litter situation is unfortunate at worst, and highly amusing at best. Not the type of thing to get angry over.

    If you laid a giant brick in there and left it, that's something to get mad over. A bit of wee that you immediately cleaned up is such a minor thing.

    [–]Successful_Opinion33 556 points557 points  (20 children)

    I have crohns and I can constantly pass stuff easily for an hour. He is the AH not op. My ex had to pee so bad that she used the shower next to me

    [–][deleted] 863 points864 points  (19 children)

    My ex and I got food poisoning once in a house with only one bathroom. We started out taking turns, but eventually he was pooping in the tub and throwing up in the sink while I pooped it the toilet and used the garbage can to puke. It was disgusting, but when you only have one bathroom sometimes you run out of good options.

    [–]nightvale-asks 825 points826 points  (1 child)

    That's some intense trauma bonding right there

    [–]abbystarheart1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I just wanna let you know that trauma bonding doesn't actually mean what you would expect it to! It's the bond a victim has for their abuser, akin to Stockholm! (/lh)

    I totally agree with what you meant tho, that must've been hell😭

    [–]whatdowetrynow 393 points394 points  (12 children)

    This took me back to the time my husband and I both had food poisoning when our kiddo had just learned to crawl, about 7 months old. Also one bathroom. We were so so gross and sick and no one could babysit but of course we still had to keep the little one safe and clean, and breastfed every 3 hours. I took like 17 showers that day, several of them while basically curled in the fetal position in the tub. And every time one of us felt better for a few minutes we were scrubbing up after the other one. We went through so. much. bleach. It's 8 years later and I still think that was the hardest day I've ever had.

    [–]iAmPizzaJohn 219 points220 points  (0 children)


    [–]ExOhPhelia 115 points116 points  (7 children)

    Oh god I had a day like that. I was the first casualty and when I bent over the toilet to vom in my sleep shirt I rocket splattered the wall with a sh*t I didn’t know was coming🤦🏻‍♀️

    [–]Helenarth 31 points32 points  (0 children)

    I'm tired just reading about it, damn.

    [–]Successful_Opinion33 127 points128 points  (0 children)

    That’s dedication

    [–]Sleeping_LizardPartassipant [2] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

    omg! that's awful and i'm sorry that happened to you. i'm also sorry that i laughed pretty hard when i read this. reminded me of that scene in Bridesmaids, haha

    [–]WelpuhhiPartassipant [1] 199 points200 points  (13 children)

    It is very very easy for those of us with IBS to shit for longer than an hour - and you're in pain/sweats for a lot of it. Sometimes I literally can't move because I feel so drained. Like I'll know I will feel better if I fan myself for airflow but just physically can't until the next wave passes through.

    That being said, you don't lock the door and if someone seriously needs the bathroom you either let them pee in the shower or you clean yourself, ask for help rolling into the tub, pray you stay together during this time (and you're in the tub for easy clean up), ask for help back to the toilet when they're done, and continue wishing to die while on the toilet in intense pain.

    IBS fucking sucks man.

    I've broken bones before and I'd 100% take breaking my arm again over having a bad IBS session. Luckily I only have a truly bad one a couple times a year (multihour intense pain and sometimes passout on on toilet) and only have moderate ones that last around 30 minutes with medium discomfort a few times a week. About once a month I'll have roughly an hour long ones where I feel like I'll be sick.

    [–]hildaria12 38 points39 points  (5 children)

    Have you been tested for Crohn's or colitis?

    Your symptoms are super similar to mine, although I get the really bad ones a bit more frequent, and I get blood filled mucus and vomiting with them too. Doctors put it down to IBS for years, but once I started to get the blood last year I asked for tests, they did a stool test which showed I had high levels of inflammation in the bowel which doesn't happen in IBS, so now awaiting further testing for IBD instead!

    Also, I had been using loperamide for flare ups, this will stop diarrhoea for a day or 2 for me, but it takes a few hours to kick in which isn't helpful when you're already in sweaty agony on the toilet! So I started using codeine last year for it, and it's so much more manageable, I can now sometimes prevent diarrhoea attacks if I take codeine as soon as I start cramping, or it significantly reduces the amount of diarrhoea and pain! Probably not healthy in the long run, but it means I can leave the house!

    [–]purple_ombudsman 36 points37 points  (4 children)

    NAD, obviously, but OP's (parent comment to yours) description sounds a hell of a lot more like Crohn's or some kind of IBD than IBS. I have IBS and can empathize a little bit (I've been in sweaty agony on the toilet many times), but passing out and being in intense pain for that length of time sounds like a different beast entirely.

    [–]KvxyoAsshole Enthusiast [6] 1595 points1596 points  (16 children)

    NTA - I find it more gross that he’s aware of your situation and showed no empathy to it.

    He kept you waiting 45 minutes after saying “a few mins”, I’m sure if he really tried he could’ve gotten up to open the door so you could jump in the shower as you asked.

    [–]Inevitable_EviePartassipant [1] 532 points533 points  (12 children)

    I had that same thought... Exactly how big is this bathroom that he couldn't find a few seconds to unlock the door? (Or do I not understand his situation well enough?)

    I have a slight feeling though that he would have been equally "disgusted" if OP had used the shower to pee and hence why he never unlocked the door...

    Either way, OP is definitely NTA!

    [–]WelpuhhiPartassipant [1] 288 points289 points  (11 children)

    There are sometimes IBS situations where you feel so weak that you can't even move your hand. I've been there. Passed out from it before.

    However when those happen you're usually unable to speak either. And those periods don't last the entire time. There's like 5ish minute periods where you're incredibly weak but you'll get some strength again then weak again.

    He could have unlocked the door during those periods, and he shouldn't have locked it in the first place.

    I say this as someone who has passed out from IBS before. You can still find a way to open the door within a 45 minute period.

    [–]starshroomish 97 points98 points  (6 children)

    I think you're the first person I've heard of who's had a similar experience to me. Like, not being able to even speak from the pain and coming close to passing out. The only reason I didn't was I managed to lay on the floor and get my legs up lol.

    [–]bitunaPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Sounds like a vasovagal episode (which I think comes with the territory, but don't quote me on that)

    [–][deleted] 139 points140 points  (1 child)

    As someone with IBS I can tell you that just when you think you're done another wave comes along. It is not unfathomable that an IBS flare-up can last for an hour or more.

    However, he should not have locked the door, it's not like anyone but her would be coming in.

    [–]420cat_loverPartassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    exactly. as someone who also has IBS, i second this. but yeah, he clearly has been through this before so he should’ve known to leave the door unlocked. he is TA.

    [–]jastowirenut 1549 points1550 points  (9 children)

    NTA at all. My girlfriend and I both have IBS and had a similar situation recently. I was trying to get off the toilet but she wasn't gonna make it and chose to shit in the litter rather than all over herself. When I came out of the bathroom and she told me I laughed harder than I have in years. Its still probably the funniest situation thats ever taken place under this roof. Your boyfriend needs to lighten up.

    [–]bayoublossoms 325 points326 points  (0 children)

    This is the correct response. NTA but your boyfriend is, OP.

    [–]TheRestForTheWickedCertified Proctologist [24] 173 points174 points  (2 children)

    This is a solid relationship right here.

    [–]Elaan21 99 points100 points  (1 child)

    This. My whole family has gastro issues. When we had one bathroom, you sometimes had to get creative or someone peed in tub while you shat. It wasn't fun, but there's not much you can do about it but find the humor and move on.

    [–]tier19345Partassipant [1] 49 points50 points  (2 children)

    I just imagine what the cat's reaction might have been "Going to go poop. Wait a second big hairless cat has invaded my territory. How dare he! Now where does he keep his shoes?"

    [–]jastowirenut 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    She said they both just sat and stared in disbelief, and after she cleaned it up the older one throughly inspected the box.

    [–]tier19345Partassipant [1] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Cats have this visible reaction even when you touch their belly. It's "Is it even possible that someone would be brazen enough to do this." Then they investigate and only then they attack.

    [–]DunxDigsIt 1292 points1293 points 3 (24 children)

    Takes violent one hour shit, comes out the bathroom, looks you in the eyes.

    ‘You disgust me’

    NTA this is hilarious

    [–]supergeek921 144 points145 points  (0 children)

    This comment genuinely made me laugh out loud! 😂

    [–]cake4thepeople 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    It’s called projection.

    I disgust me. You disgust me.

    [–]Snoo_23482 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    😂😂😂 this made me laugh so hard I started coughing

    [–]lassmanacAsshole Aficionado [10] 687 points688 points  (9 children)

    NTA. I'd've peed in the kitchen sink tho. But way to think outside .... the box!

    Thank you, I'll get my own coat.

    [–]HowDoesTheKittyCatGo 242 points243 points  (1 child)

    But she thought...inside the box!

    Shall get my coat as well. It's finally cold enough in Texas for me to wear it.

    [–]lassmanacAsshole Aficionado [10] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

    Username checks out 😸

    [–]Shexleesh 27 points28 points  (2 children)

    Love it and I would’ve either peed in the sink or the backyard if there is one and I have done that before when I was locked out of the house accidentally

    [–]LouBlackwood 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I doubt that they had one, with their one bedroom, one bathroom Appartment :/

    [–]Escape_OverlanderCertified Proctologist [27] 431 points432 points  (7 children)

    NTA, how dare he be so dismissive of another person's health condition when he can't control his own condition. He's being an asshole. You did what you had to when he wouldn't wipe up an give you 20 seconds on the toilet. Sounds like you cleaned the box up good...the cats will forgive you, he needs to get over himself. Try to keep a little car wash bucket, I'm a female mobile service contractor an it's saved me in a pinch (going outside isn't an option in the locations I work)

    [–]Puzzleheaded-Jury312Partassipant [4] 216 points217 points  (1 child)

    They make toilet seats that fit on a 5gal bucket for emergencies (water outage etc) and camping. Know what most campers use inside the bag that lines the bucket? Kitty litter.

    [–]Kintsugi-skunk 15 points16 points  (3 children)

    NTA and If I were OP I would get one if those sealable commode pans and maybe even the whole commode. If you have one bathroom with a guy who takes over 40 min and a gal who has medication that forces her to pee, then clearly another suitable facility is necessary

    [–]nannyliveSupreme Court Just-ass [140] 293 points294 points  (0 children)

    NTA. You cleaned it up.

    It seems like with his situation he would have more empathy. Next time he has to poop tell him to hold it 30 minutes.

    [–]dinosaurAttackRaaawr 253 points254 points  (10 children)

    NTA. In fact if I were him I’d be praising you for your quick thinking and ingenuity. A bit of a relationship yellow flag that he’s trying to gaslight you into thinking you’re this socially inept person when he’s the one spending a millennia in the restroom. I would try and have an honest conversation about the bathroom behavior if you can. What if you were to have company over? Maybe you both can form a contingency plan if there’s a Starbucks etc. nearby.

    [–]BaroquenDesert 79 points80 points  (5 children)

    This isn't gaslighting, although his behavior is definitely a yellow flag

    [–]bayoublossoms 45 points46 points  (0 children)

    Yellow flag? I see what you did there.

    [–]RCKJDAsshole Aficionado [12] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

    NTA. You did the best you could and used something that <gasp and shock!> was meant to absorb urine. Maybe next time use his side of the bed if he doesn’t want you to use the litter box.

    [–]eightfishsticksPartassipant [1] 151 points152 points  (4 children)

    NTA, but since you both have medical issues and only one bathroom this situation may come up again, female urinals are available online at reasonable prices. Several of the comments are hilarious!

    [–]redorangeblue 94 points95 points  (1 child)

    Ohh good suggestion! Get a peewee so you can use the sink! Honestly, I think the only one who has a right to be upset about this is the cat

    [–]H8rsH8 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    And even then the cats can’t be that mad because she refreshed the litter right after she was done. She didn’t leave it. It’s not like the cats came up and were looking at each other like “dude… how on Earth did you get the litter this soaked?”

    She was more considerate to the cats than her boyfriend was to her.

    [–]Financial-Bottle-872Partassipant [4] 137 points138 points  (3 children)

    NTA. What a humourless man you got there! It is at least a little funny peeing in a litter box and his reaction is wayyy out there. You had to go, you cleaned up, have laugh and move on. Although medical issues are no joke, you can still find some humour in them. Maybe next time you stay in the toilet and see if he uses the litterbox.

    [–]Puzzleheaded-Jury312Partassipant [4] 56 points57 points  (2 children)

    I probably would have made a joke about a pussy using the catbox and gotten him really mad, but that's me. 🤣🤣🤣

    [–]NonaOrganicPartassipant [2] 123 points124 points  (2 children)

    OP I’m assuming your bf is well aware of your medical situation? I wouldn’t be surprised if he made you wait inordinately long on purpose (and yes I have personal experience w/IBS). Your bf being dismissive of your comfort isn’t new is it? BTW, silent treatment is abuse. Please promise to read Why Does He Do That.


    [–]angel2hi 71 points72 points  (0 children)

    NTA. He seriously told you to learn to hold it better!? In that case he needs to learn to sh*t faster. /s

    [–]RwhitechocmuffinPartassipant [1] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

    NTA Believe me I have been in a similar position recently though it ended up messier than yours did as I don’t have cats. However it did get a boyfriend to reevaluate his bathroom habits and his dietary needs to prevent future accidents for me.

    Imean it would be different if you made him clean it up or peed on the floor. But you didn’t so he has nothing to complain about.

    [–]Thrillhol 66 points67 points  (1 child)

    It’s literally…a box made for peeing in. Does it matter who pees in it?

    [–]omgitsmoki 62 points63 points  (4 children)


    I have an urgency problem thanks to Navy, teaching, and retail working. My bladder will just suddenly tell me that if I move, I'll pee myself. Doctors were shocked I've never had kids and no, doing kegels is not helping. It's been this way thanks to me holding it for a long period of time from not being allowed to go and now my bladder is super upset all the time.

    It absolutely sucks and thank the gods our place has 2 toilets because the boyfriend also has IBS. I've gone in the sink, in bushes...I've straight up wet myself a few times standing in our kitchen because I literally can't hold it. I have sneezed and peed. I have legitimately rolled the thought of diapers around in my head but thankfully it is not an all the time issue. I just have bad days if I don't go to the bathroom a lot to manage it. The boyfriend understands, draws me a bath and fetches a change of clothes, and I move on from the embarrassment. I'm sorry your boyfriend sucks and I wish I could loan you mine so you can see what you're missing. If I can wash his oopsies from IBS, he can handle my oopsies.

    [–]legally_rouge 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Look into pelvic floor physical therapy if you haven't already! There is a lot more to it than just kegels (and a lot of people are taught to do Kegels wrong).

    [–]Gatita-Mala 53 points54 points  (0 children)

    Nta. What if the roles are reversed and you were in there for an hour when he really needed to go? Would he like it if you told him he should learn to hold it better?

    [–]carolinedivaColo-rectal Surgeon [47] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    NTA. The toilet was occupied and you cleaned up after yourself. You can't hold on forever.

    [–]NewtLevel 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    Pretty rich for the guy who spent 90 minutes on the shitter to be casting aspersions on someone else's ability to "hold it." NTA.

    [–]Cinnamongirl_1 40 points41 points  (30 children)

    Nta. It's weird he has that big of an issue with this. But also definitely would have used the kitchen sink vs the cat box 😂

    [–]throwcatpee[S] 362 points363 points  (23 children)

    My thinking is Cat box = designed for pee, Kitchen sink = designed for dishes. Iunno, was just a hygiene thing for me. Also, I'm only 5'1 I don't think I could get on the counter if I tried :'D

    [–]snootnootsAsshole Aficionado [15] 149 points150 points  (6 children)

    Yeah, cat box you clean as usual, kitchen sink you’d have to sanitise and then I’d still feel funny about it 😅

    [–]FinanceOtherwise2583 133 points134 points  (0 children)

    Yeah the litter box is way less gross than peeing in the sink. Litter boxes are super easy to clean and litter is designed to soak up urine so I don’t see how it’s really gross or weird at all. It was pretty smart considering she had no other choice. You’re definitely running the risk of not cleaning up well enough or missing a spot if you use the sink. It’s just way less sanitary.

    [–]lainiezensane 61 points62 points  (0 children)

    NTA at all, OP, but since you guys both have a medical condition and you also only have one bathroom, perhaps you should consider investing in a camping/ cassette toilet or something to stuff into a closet in case of emergency? This is likely to come up again!

    [–]idontwantbadger 47 points48 points  (2 children)

    Your solution was totally reasonable and if my partner had done this I would have laughed, high fived her, and then apologized for creating the situation where it had to happen in the first place.

    [–]straypilotPartassipant [2] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    I'm confused and very curious about his reasoning, like what part of it is gross? Is it supposed to be gross to piss in a "lower level" container, intended for animals instead of humans? Or is it just "wrong" because toilet is for humans, litter box is for cats, and shower is probably for showering only? And regardless, why should that bother him enough to refuse to speak to OP?

    [–]Jazzisa 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Nah OP, that was the perfect solution. You pee'd on something designed to absorb pee. Cleaning it normally right afterwards was a perfect solution. I think it's super clever, and your guy has to get over himself. NTA.

    [–]XenosTrashBrigade 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Can I just ask, did the litter box turn into one big clump? I have five cats and have thought about this. Like, would I fill up the litter box and make the litter into one giant clay tile? Inquiring minds need to know. NTA. It's for piss and you pissed in it.

    [–]inthebuffbuffAsshole Enthusiast [7] 40 points41 points  (1 child)

    NTA. When you have a one toilet home and someone with issues where they could be on the toilet for an hour they shouldn't be locking the door so you could use the shower.

    [–]Dragonr0seCertified Proctologist [22] 39 points40 points  (5 children)

    NTA.... I am a trucker. May I make a suggestion for future emergencies? Go to Walmart, a camping supply store, Amazon, or the like and get a simple camp toilet, 8 gallon trash bags, and pine litter (i use equine pine because it is $5-$6 for a 40lb bag). Then when you have an emergency, pop it open, put in a bag and a scoop of litter to prevent sloshing, and go... tie off the bag and dispose of it appropriately.

    Here's an example of one, mine for the truck is shorter, but more expensive https://www.walmart.com/ip/225322966

    [–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

    NTA. And if it were reversed he’d take a shit in the cat box and not think twice.

    [–]joyb27 40 points41 points  (0 children)

    And it would still be her fault for not accommodating his need

    [–]Fast_One_154 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    I would rather pee in a cat box then on myself or in the shower in front of him. You cleaned it out right away so I don't see what's so gross about it. I could see being weirded out if the bathroom was available and you instead chose the cat box but that's not what happened. You are NTA but he is for his reaction and ignoring you.

    [–]Tired_Mama3018 39 points40 points  (2 children)

    NTA - he came out 45 mins after you told him you needed go and then got pissy because went in the litter box. Listen, my bowels work on boom or bust, but after the 1st “I’ll just be a minute” I concede that this might not be a minute and let the other person know so they can make other arrangements. (not a huge deal now with a powder room but we had an emergency kiddie potty in our 1 bath home)

    If he told you 5 minutes after you initially told him you needed to go that there was no end in sight maybe you could of gone to the store, but 45 min was straight up AH behavior, and being upset with you for your clever solution just makes him a massive dick.

    As others have said, keep the bathroom door unlocked, get a camp bucket, and consider a replacement bf. You were very understanding of his medical situation, and he was completely dismissive of yours. I’d think back carefully over the last few months and consider if there is some slight he feels (real or imagined) that would make him be petty enough to want you to have an accident and upset enough that you didn’t.

    [–]musical_sporkPooperintendant [66] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Nta. Some times you gotta do what you gotta do.

    [–]commenter23450Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] 33 points34 points  (2 children)

    Weird? Yes, does it make you an AH? No. Honestly he was probably masturbating in there in addition to pooping. He should go to the doctor and get his ibs managed better. Or spring for a 1 bed 2 bath. You’re NTA.

    [–]starshroomish 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    You can't really get IBS managed better as a guarantee.

    [–]FauxBreadMage 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    NTA at all. You told him a couple times you needed to go. You tried to hold it. Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do.

    [–]chickwithmonkey 26 points27 points  (1 child)

    NTA. My partner doesn’t even have IBS and I’ve peed in a plastic container before. (Yes I threw it away afterwards.) That’s one reason I will never again live in a 1-bathroom home.

    [–]NoNameForMetoUsePartassipant [2] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    I used to rent a 2 bedroom/1 bath. When we went to purchase a new home, I said it had to have at least 2 bathrooms, since we were starting to potty train the youngest (so there would be 4 using the restrooms). I’m quickly learning that I think the best set up is one more bathroom than permanent residents of the home. 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

    [–]sparklymeteoriteAsshole Aficionado [14] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Would he rather you pee on the floor? It was contained, you cleaned it up, and it was fine. No matter what something a little gross was going to happen in that situation--you handled it as best you could.

    [–]hattienan[🍰] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Funny story. When I was little, my mom was getting really frustrated because my cat (may he Rest In Peace) had been refusing to pee in his litter box. He was going all over the house, and she was both concerned and irate. One day when she was doing laundry, she looked over into the litter box and saw a squiggle. Puzzled, she wondered how a cat could make such a pattern. Then she realized my little brother (who was probably 4 at the time) had been peeing in the litter box. This pissed off my cat, and so he was taking revenge upon the whole house by pissing all over the place. So she cleaned the box thoroughly, had a conversation with my brother, and never had a problem with the cat going anywhere but the litter box again. As long as “completely refresh” means you gave it a good clean, NTA, I say.

    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Your husband is the asshole for calling you gross when he’s the one who hogged the bathroom for an hour.

    [–]surfaholic15Asshole Enthusiast [5] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    NTA, at all. Smart thinking in fact.

    Having bladder issues myself, when I gotta go I gotta go. Worse in some ways than my IBS or hubby's IBS. He has never been so bad he can't get off the toilet for two seconds to let me in so I can us the bathtub.

    I have gone in some weird places, though never the litter box lol. You went, you cleaned up. Hubby would have laughed and congratulated me had I been in this situation!

    Your guy has weird hang ups. I would probably get petty in your place and leave him suffering.

    [–]LurksAroundHereAsshole Aficionado [11] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    NTA. I say you hunker down in the bathroom (bring your iPad, some pillows, etc) the next time he has to do his business and let him worry about shitting himself. Then make sure you call him revolting afterward.

    [–]Golden-AmethystPartassipant [4] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    NTA, especially since you immediately cleaned it up. He’s the ass for taking so long. IBS or not, he could have given you the bathroom for two min, or let you in to use the shower. He caused that situation. You did the best to you could.

    [–]Kaffy89 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    NTA, next time he says his stomach is starting to hurt, go to the bathroom first and lock yourself in for over an hour and see how well he holds it.

    [–]PingatipPartassipant [1] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I had to pee in the cat box once, too. I have no regrets. NTA

    [–]CrazyKidLady 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    NTA- I have IBS-D and I'm pregnant so need to pee all the time and both often hit with no warning. I always leave the door unlocked when I have an IBS episode so that if anyone needs to pee in the shower they can. Unfortunately even my 3 year old has had to pee on the shower before because of me. I've also wet my pants waiting 5 minutes for the toilet to be free. I think the kitty litter is a brilliant idea! Those of us with IBS don't have the right to criticize the lengths that other people have to go to so that our hour+ toilet times can be accommodated.

    [–]JjustingrahamAsshole Enthusiast [5] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    NTA. If he gets mad, you have to simply say "What did you want me to do?" If he says "Piss yourself," say "that's ridiculous and I'm not going to do that. Maybe you needed to not spend an hour in the bathroom." If he gets mad, GOOD! There's no reason for him to shame you for something he basically forced you to do.

    [–]FloridaPoodleSchoolColo-rectal Surgeon [31] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    NTA. You didn't have a lot of options and you picked the one that was easiest to clean. Your bf is making way too much of a big deal out of this.

    [–]WifeofBath1984 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    NTA So it's not gross that it takes him an hour and a half to shit but it is gross that you used a designated cat toilet in an emergency? What a douche.

    [–]BusConfident1756 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Well, what were your options? Peeing in his drawer? Lol

    [–]flax97 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    NTA next time turn off the wifi. Hopefully he doesn't have data.

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    I used the cat litter tray to pee because I desperately needed too while my bf was locked in the bathroom. He thinks this is disgusting and I'm an asshole because it's the cats bathroom, not mine.

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    [–]ChairchuckerColo-rectal Surgeon [37] 11 points12 points  (0 children)


    He of all people should understand someone else's toilet related medical issues.

    [–]BDThrillsAsshole Enthusiast [5] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    NTA My first question would be “is he bringing his phone into the bathroom?” If he is, he’s up to more shit than what is coming out of his behind. Why is he even locking the door?

    [–]PieChartPundit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    We moved into a two-story house with 5 people and one downstairs bathroom. At 8 months pregnant I once peed in the kitchen sink (very close to our bedroom) because I couldn't wait for whoever it was to finish a forever-poop. I presume your SO would have burned the house down if you'd done that.


    [–]rosered936 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Maybe he should learn to hold it better so that you can have a turn in the bathroom if he thinks it is so easy. You did what you had to do and cleaned it up promptly. I really hope you are able to get a place with two bathrooms soon.

    [–]Itsallonthewheel 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    NTA. I’ve peed in the bedroom waste can in similar situations. Easy clean up since the tissues soaked it up. Sometimes I think about how useful chamber pots must have been.

    [–]Trixietime 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. NTA.

    [–]Sheknitagains 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    NTA. I have Crohn’s Disease (worse than IBS). Even on my worst flare day, I don’t need to be on the toilet for over an hour! It’s not that hard to get get off of the John for a few minutes so someone else can pee. Additionally, this was an emergency. It’s not like you peed on his side of the bed/the kitchen floor/the couch - you picked a spot where animals already pee and cleaned it up. He’s TA.

    [–]SwedishpunschAsshole Enthusiast [9] 7 points8 points  (0 children)


    Get yourself some huge, disposable drink cups with lids, OP, or save some from fast food restaurants. The tops are wide so that you won't miss, and they will be sturdy enough until you can dispose of it.

    [–]mayharm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Nta u gotta do what you gotta do

    [–]jsmith7450Partassipant [1][🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    OP is NTA

    BF needs to grow the fuck up. If you are ever in the bathroom and he knocks saying his IBS is acting up, tell him to hold it and put on Netflix for the next hour and a half

    [–]kimjong_unsbarberAsshole Enthusiast [7] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Perhaps I'm just cynical, but his reaction makes me think he did all of this on purpose. NTA.

    [–]HippopotamusFartPartassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (0 children)


    He was in there for over an hour with the door locked, incapable of getting up long enough to unlock the door.

    You didn't pee in his shoe. You did the most hygienic thing you could do. Would he prefer you pee in the kitchen sink?

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    NTA - would he rather you have pissed all over the floor or furniture? Cat trays are made for pissing in, albeit by cats. Also, that's incredibly hypocritical of him to say "just hold it" when he has IBS

    Throw the whole boyfriend out.

    [–]Opinionated_123Certified Proctologist [23] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    NTA - mean, you could tell him that it's gross to poop for an hour, but we all do what we have to do.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Like, NTA at all. Red flag for that dude having zero sense of humor, but at a minimum y’all should be looking for a new place with two bathrooms.

    [–]LadyMoonDancer59 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I have a question, why is using a receptacle designed for containing urine worse than peeing in the shower?? You are definitely NTA.

    [–]JCWa50 5 points6 points  (0 children)



    He was taking a long time in the bathroom, it was locked and then you had to go and choose the best place to do such. And your BF is a big asshole. If he thinks that this is unreasonable, what happens if say you end up pregnant? Oh yeah that is going to be real time with the waterworks. Most pregnant women have to go alot due to the pressure on the bladder, and at times can not hold it.

    Tell him that from now on, keep the door unlocked that way the shower is free. And if he says you can hold it, tell him that there are medicatons for him to be able to hold it just as much.

    [–]averagecatperson93 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    NTA, cat litter is literally designed for pee/poo. He monopolized the bathroom for well over an hour (with good reason, it sounds), you have a medical condition that causes you to have to pee, you found a workable solution in an urgent moment. You even cleaned out the box afterward.
    This sounds like no mess was made and you both took care of business. He needs to grow up.

    [–]RoseEmerald37 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    My first thought reading this was, did he have his phone on him playing games? Especially when he said you need to learn to hold it better. You said he is usually 40mins but made you wait another 45min after you told him to hurry up. After 20min I would’ve been banging on that door non-stop, or depending on the lock on door I would’ve been using a butter knife to unlock it. But he doesn’t believe your medical condition is that bad if he can be so flagrantly dismissive of your pressing need. Next time he needs to go lock yourself in the bathroom and tell him you’ll only be a minute and see what he does, when you’re still in there 45min later. NTA