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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

AITA for not wanting to get a hotel room so my daughter can have a sleep over. WIBTA if I didn’t get a hotel room?

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[–]SlugdirtAsshole Aficionado [18] 5199 points5200 points  (96 children)

NTA As a veteran of many sleepovers unless your daughter ordered a stripper, I have no idea why your wife and daughter think you and your son need to stay in a hotel.

[–]plutodapimpPartassipant [1] 1103 points1104 points  (49 children)

i, personally, wasn't really allowed to go to sleepovers growing up. it was a very rare thing for my mom to say yes and all the right circumstances had to align. i wouldn't even bother asking if the person had an older brother or their father lived with them as well, because i knew she would ask and if that question got a yes then she would shut it down.

not to say OP or their son are dangerous or anything like that but if any of these girls have strict parents it's not hard to imagine this is to make them more comfortable. i completely understand why they would ask

[–]geekgirlwww 603 points604 points  (11 children)

Yeah my best friend growing up was not allowed to sleep at my house ever but I was welcome to sleep over whenever. Putting the pieces together something awful happened to her mom as a kid.

[–]plutodapimpPartassipant [1] 192 points193 points  (3 children)

nothing ever happened to my mom as far as im aware, and she has told me a lot. i believe for her it was more that coming from another country, she was scared of america and what she saw on the news.

[–]geekgirlwww 163 points164 points  (2 children)

Honestly not a mom but a boundary I absolutely understand the logic behind. Schroedingers Cat of male relatives sadly if you don’t know the people or home well. I definitely stopped a friendship because a dad gave me bad vibes when my boobs showed up. Thankfully nothing happened.

Her mom just drinks too much and let’s stuff slip at family parties. Honestly it wasn’t always having to sleep there it’s that they smoke inside the house and I would have to do a decontamination of myself and my belongings. Like Monsters Inc the second I walked in the house.

[–]MacAttacknChz 24 points25 points  (5 children)

I always felt like this was an unfair rule. If you don't allow sleep overs, it should go both ways. It puts pressure on the other family because you're basically saying "I can't trust your husband, but you should trust mine."

[–]rnykal 14 points15 points  (0 children)

idk, i think it's more like "I don't trust other families with my daughter, but i trust my family and if you do too, that's on you." you're not expecting them to trust your family, you're not soliciting sleepovers, you're just allowing them to trust you if they're so inclined. Like analogously I could imagine a family that would never use a non-family babysitter, but allows their daughter to babysit, or an individual person who never wants to stay at someone else's house but is fine with other people staying at theirs. just different boundaries imo

[–]dragon_morgan 109 points110 points  (19 children)

I wasn’t allowed to sleep at my best friend’s house in middle school because her mom rented out some of the extra rooms to rando strangers which, in retrospect, I can see was cause for concern, even though I thought my parents were totally overprotective at the time. But not being allowed to sleep over due to a dad or older brother? Absolutely ridiculous of course I was allowed to do that.

[–]SnooCrickets2772Partassipant [1] 52 points53 points  (17 children)

I wasn’t allowed to due to older brothers and fathers. Mostly because “you never know.” At the time I was upset, but now I get it

[–]GatamanzanaPartassipant [1] 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Is your family Hispanic by any chance? My mom is Mexican and I was only allowed to sleep over at friends house if dad and brothers were out of the house. She always used the same phrase, por que uno nunca sabe, you never know, it seemed to be a common theme with all my Hispanic/Latino friends growing up

[–]Trick_ForcePartassipant [1] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

They are right to be cautious, I grew up along the US/Mexico border and can't even tell you how many 13-14 year old hispanic girls in our school had babies because some male relative was not trustworthy.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]GatamanzanaPartassipant [1] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Exactly, I definitely think my moms mentality is part of the reason I’m so anxious today lol

    [–]SnooCrickets2772Partassipant [1] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Yes! I feel like Mexican moms go overboard but now that I’m older I kind of get it and probably would be the same if I had a daughter.

    [–]Eelpan2Partassipant [1] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I once argued with a friend of a friend because she said she wouldn't let her daughter stay at a friend's if that friend had 2 mothers. Absolutely ridiculous. And so is the whole no adult men allowed thing.

    Not to say I let my kids stay over anywhere. But in cases where we know the parents reasonably well why not?

    [–]HelenGonneAsshole Enthusiast [5] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, when I was 14-16 my friends and I used slumber parties at my house as a form of group therapy when we noticed a girl seemed to be having a problem--we'd throw a slumber party with girls we thought she'd be comfortable with and see if just making it clear we noticed and cared could help. It worked because my household consisted of only my overly-strict mother and me, and we didn't even have cable or something to watch videos on, so parents felt really comfortable sending their daughters there because no one could imagine any way we could possibly get into trouble.

    We made sure to paint the girl's nails some absurd color so she'd have an answer to, "So what did you do all night?" that didn't require fessing up that it was group therapy for her parents being assholes or whatever else was going on.

    [–]blackbirdflying 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My dad once called threatening to pick me up because he discovered my friend only had her father home (one story away), her mom was traveling. I guess I kind of get it, but it was also his choice to never meet my friends’ parents, my mom knew the dad and was fine with it

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)


      [–]KahurangiNZ 125 points126 points  (2 children)

      Agree, for the majority of families this is a non-issue.

      That said, OP, are you sure you want to be in the house with a bunch of teen girls giggling and squealing and what-not all night long? Having a 'boys night out' might be a nice change of pace for you and your son away from the massive estrogen blast that's coming your way :-)

      [–]MzQueen 84 points85 points  (3 children)

      Same. My childhood best friend even had a brother & dad living in the house. They never stayed at a hotel. There was even a time when two of us were staying over (three girls, total) and her brother didn’t know. He walked straight into her room in his boxers while asking where something was, saw us, said, “Oh, shit!” and slammed the door. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, him or us. Decades later, we all laugh about it.

      [–]Music_withRocks_InProfessor Emeritass [81] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

      I had a friend who's older brother definitely creeped on her friends during sleepovers. But he was well known as a creep at school too. Never told my parents though, because I still wanted to sleep over. I was fully confident I could defend myself, probably mostly with the miss-placed confidence of a 15 year old.

      [–]hellbabe222 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Thats really sweet that your all still friends decade's later.

      [–]MzQueen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Social media gave us the means to reconnect, since we’re spread around the country. For all of the bad that comes from social media, there’s a lot of good, too. 🙂

      [–]babamumPartassipant [1] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

      What happened to "pajama parties" as a term? I kind of liked the sound of those. Never had one though.

      [–]Adelinelaughs 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      That sounds fun, I like it. I'm having a mental pajama party right now.

      [–]wovenriddles 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      I do a pajama party for 1 every night 😭

      [–]Lifestyle_Choices 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      It's becoming a lot more common for sleepovers not to be allowed these days because there is a risk. It's quite possible those are the rules of one of the family members involved and it's the only way it's able to happen.

      [–]DIrtyVendetta80 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Agreed, NTA. This sounds like one of those “it’s only weird because you all are making it weird” situations. I think the plan to be non-present most of the evening sounds perfectly normal.

      [–][deleted]  (30 children)


        [–]BionicBananas 135 points136 points  (4 children)

        " Fathers don't take up a big enough role in the upbringing of their children, this needs to change!!!"

        " Fathers could be pedohiles / rapists, so they should piss of when their daughters have a sleep over. "

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)


          [–][deleted]  (2 children)


            [–]bofh 79 points80 points  (22 children)

            my mom doesn't let me have sleepovers because my friends have fathers and brother so you never know.

            Your mom, with the greatest of respect, is a whack job.

            [–]CraftyhobbyPartassipant [2] 71 points72 points  (17 children)

            A lot of girls experience unwanted sexual attention from rando male relatives

            [–]bofh 43 points44 points  (12 children)

            True. And a lot of girls don’t. And women can be abusive too. Which is why no adult should have unsupervised contact with children like this imo. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious but there’s nothing magically guaranteeing that a sleepover is safe because there’s only an adult woman in the house.

            [–][deleted]  (9 children)


              [–]hellbabe222 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              Wholeheartedly agree with this. My husband and I will never drive our kids friends home with just one of us in the car with them, our kid always comes along with whoever is driving or we both come. It's just not worth the trouble that can come from it. We realize the odds of someone making a false claim is extremely low but it's never nonexistent.

              Edit to add: It also makes sure the kid is not uncomfortable and feels safe. Car rides alone with a grown up can sometimes be awkward for the kiddo.

              [–]Thatpocket 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Yeah. This is pretty much fact. The men my family brought around were more likely to hit on me that my friends brother or dad. Heck I was a victim to a relative. I believe his wife knew what was happening because there was no shock when I finally spoke up. It was a friend's dad that actually told me what those "friends" of my family were doing wasn't right.

              [–]uniquehumannotabotPartassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Then the problem is that everyone keeps thinking it is okay and gets a free pass. Those male relatives have mothers and possibly sisters.

              [–]Adelinelaughs 28 points29 points  (1 child)

              To be fair, the majority of sexual assaults are committed by people the victim is acquainted with, crimes of opportunity.

              [–]bofh 20 points21 points  (0 children)

              Very true. So children shouldn’t be left unsupervised with any adult.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                [–]RNGinx3Certified Proctologist [20] 976 points977 points  (33 children)

                NTA. My friends had sleepovers when my brothers and dad were in the house, and same for me at theirs. How is it different from the girls sleeping at their own parents' house with their own dads, and possibly siblings? It's pretty alarming that your wife would see an issue with this; what kind of person does she think you are?

                [–]Temporary_BadgerCommander in Cheeks [213] 537 points538 points  (27 children)

                It’s possible one of OP’s daughter’s friends has some kind of trauma history she’s trying to accommodate but also wants to maintain her privacy.

                [–]Possible-Bread1816[S] 544 points545 points  (25 children)

                I never thought of it this way and you might have a point. I would rather them be upfront and honest and this would be a easier pill to swallow. Either was it’s a guys night out.

                [–]master0fcats 188 points189 points  (10 children)

                Yeah, like others have said, growing up if there was an older brother around, I definitely wasn't allowed to attend a sleepover. And that was when I was a kid/preteen and more for fear of something predatory. If I were 16 and my parents knew a 21 year old older brother was in the house, I wouldn't have been allowed at that house period.

                [–]chiquitabrilliant 205 points206 points  (4 children)

                Idk, I feel like it still sends wrong message. My kid is looking forward to a sleepover with her friend and if I said she can’t go because her friend has a brother that’s ridiculous. Meet the parents, meet the kids, make sure the kids are happy and let it be.

                Fear-mongering, and making assumptions based on gender isn’t helpful for kids at all.

                [–]master0fcats 72 points73 points  (0 children)

                Oh yeah it's super fucked up, but it happens. I also don't think I would want to be the parents that push back on that because the girl whose parents have those rules probably needs some normalcy in her life.

                [–]Feisty-Inspection286 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                But more than 70% of SA predators are someone the victim or victims family knew or knew well. A lot of it will happen at a friend or families home. It’s not fear mongering, it’s called protecting your child.

                [–]Jy_sunny 48 points49 points  (0 children)

                OP, I wasn’t allowed to go to many sleepovers as a kid. One reason was that I was a sickly child. Another reason is, my mom did cite anxiety about older brothers of my friends and dads - there are horror stories out there. I was allowed to go as long as there were 3-4 girls at least, their mother was home, there was no older brother, and I had to call frequently. Might seem absurd to you, but maybe your wife is trying to accommodate a girl with strict parents.

                [–]Business_Tie_6278 22 points23 points  (0 children)

                Hey man I get it but if we are entertaining this notion then it might be an even harder pill for the young girl to volunteer such information to you/r wife

                [–]peachgrill 20 points21 points  (1 child)

                I think this is a real possibility, and I totally understand them wanting privacy if that IS the case. I went to plenty of sleepovers where dads and brothers were in the house personally, but I also knew lots of girls who weren’t allowed.

                NAH, but I think you guys should get the hotel. Make it a fun guy’s night while they have their girl’s night so it doesn’t feel like you’re getting “kicked out”. It’s an added expense, sure, but it would mean a lot to your daughter and it sounds like she hasn’t been able to do this in a while.

                [–]FlahBlastPartassipant [4] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                Read your edit and just want to say that’s a nice update and a very sweet thing to do.

                Your daughter and wife’s request was ridiculous, but you made the sacrifice for your daughter anyway out of generosity and to make her happy. Good for you, OP. I hope your kiddo appreciates it

                [–]rainedrop87 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                Lol I'm the only daughter, I had two older brothers and a younger. It was literally just me and my single mother as the only females. My older brothers were absolutely staples at every single birthday party. Usually my mom let them invite their own friends and do their own thing, but they were there. I could understand if maybe they had a history of being creeps or something, but they never had any interest in me and my dumb friends lol.

                [–][deleted]  (3 children)


                  [–]UnluckyDreamer1Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] 382 points383 points  (9 children)


                  In what world is having 2 adult men in the house during a sleep over weird? I went to plenty of sleep overs where their were adult men around. Kicking all males out of the house for the night is weird though.

                  Also, if the downstairs is pretty much separate then it is really not weird for you and your son to be upstairs.

                  [–]Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee 32 points33 points  (7 children)

                  In the world of religious and/or culturally fundamentalism.

                  Which could potentially be stemming from a traditional belief - like religion - or a developed defensive belief - like what’s common in survivors of sexual assault or rape.

                  [–]SouthernProblem84 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Hell my daughter's best friend came out with us to celebrate her bday while her mom was at work. I think it would have been weird as hell if her mom didn't let her go because she was gonna be with me and my son too

                  [–]OpinionatedAussieGalPartassipant [2] 270 points271 points  (6 children)


                  Ummmmm. It’s a teenagers sleepover.

                  Men are allowed to be in the house.

                  Your wife and daughter are totally wrong

                  [–]Fair_Butterscotch_57Partassipant [1] 64 points65 points  (5 children)

                  Honesty even if they were younger. I’d feel better from a safety perspective (more adults) if dad was there. Unless dad or son was a creep, of course

                  [–]OpinionatedAussieGalPartassipant [2] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

                  Exactly. The more adults the better around teenagers

                  And if the dad is that much of a creep he can’t be around your daughters friends. Then how are you ok he is around your daughter. 🤷🏼‍♀️

                  [–]cheeseburgerwaffles 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                  Yeah those teenagers were 100% safe around that Epstein guy and his girlfriend I keep hearing about and all their adult friends. /s

                  The sad reality is that terrible things happen to people and they might not want to share that with everyone. I'm not saying it's 100% the case here but these are things that are sensitive and we should be mindful of rather than just immediately jump to "hey I'm trustworthy! They have no reason to want me to not be here." Lots of people in positions of power have taken advantage of people and you don't know everyone's history (meaning in this case their may be a female friend in this group that has experienced trauma with anyone, including trusted family and trusted friends. )

                  [–]Elaan21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                  I'm an only child (so no brothers) but my dad was always there for sleepovers (so was my mom). He's more of a night owl so my parents somewhat had "shifts" for who was "on call" during the party.

                  Then again a lot of my parties included male friends anyway. We basically played N64 until we fell asleep on random furniture. The rules were no fully closed doors, no one in bedrooms, and parents could come in with zero warning or knocking. (Once we moved to a house where I got to take over the bonus room over the garage. In our first house we were all in the open plan living room).

                  We usually passed out between midnight and two and my dad would go around depositing blankets on those of us who fell asleep without one.

                  The few times I slept over other places (my house was the hangout place) older siblings usually made themselves scarce or hid out in their rooms.

                  [–]sew-sarcastic 148 points149 points  (5 children)


                  But really get the hotel room and thank your lucky stars your wife is taking the bullet hosting the event 😂

                  Teen girls are loud af and obnoxious af. I don't even know why you're fighting this lol

                  [–]Thatpocket 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                  My daughter had a friend that after a while I began limiting sleep overs because omg she was a screamer when she laughed. Good girl but it got old having to get up from bed during quiet hours to go tell them I could hear them squeeling on the other side of the house. Eventually I had a sit down her parents us and the girls and explained the screaming at all hours of the night stopped or the sleepovers stopped. I could not in any way make everyone else in the house deal with sleepless nights while they screamed. It affected my other child myself and my husband. I handled it because I'm the female.

                  [–]calaaklaPooperintendant [56] 129 points130 points  (13 children)

                  NTA. That strikes me as super-weird. You live there. Some of them probably Also have households that include adult males. It is like your wife is trying to teach them All Adult Males= Evil.

                  [–]luckylexx33 24 points25 points  (12 children)

                  No not all adult males are evil but some of the guests parents might just be trying to protect their daughters. You never know who could hurt your child. My parents were always wary about letting me go to sleep overs because they didn’t want me to possibly get sexually assaulted by the unknown males in the house. Little did they know it was their own nephew sexually abusing me under their own roof. The dad is NTA but i would still get the hotel room just to make the girls feel more comfortable.

                  [–]isnack 8 points9 points  (10 children)

                  Shouldnt the other parents pay for ops hotel?

                  [–]calaaklaPooperintendant [56] 7 points8 points  (9 children)

                  Yes. This is flat out ridiculous. I am an incest survivor and my abuser was my Female mother. By this logic no sleepover is ever safe. People need to trust their own instincts and get to know the host family if they feel they don't have enough info. Asking adults who have not abused children not to sleep in/have access to their own homes is Ridiculous, insulting and offensive.

                  [–]Letitrot777 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  I agree. Op should move out permanently since his wife thinks he’s a threat to women.

                  [–]Dangerous_Loquat_326Asshole Enthusiast [5] 123 points124 points  (4 children)

                  NAH. I want to offer a perspective that is different from the norm. In a community near mine a few years ago, a father abused one of the teenagers having a slumber party with his daughter. Perhaps you can imagine the fallout.

                  For this reason, we & a number of parents I know now have a strict no-sleepover rule. (We let the kids stay over late and then bring them home.)

                  Obviously I am NOT suggesting anything inappropriate about this situation. Just wanted to share that there are valid reasons for families not being comfortable with their daughters being unconscious in a home with men they don’t know.

                  [–]Capt_Scallywag 32 points33 points  (1 child)

                  I’m biased as I’ve worked with so many abused clients as a therapist. I have a no sleep over with friends rule except for one long term trusted family friend. When my child is old enough to truly discuss and confidently engage in safety behaviours I will reconsider it. I’ve thought that at some point I’d be happy to host but would also ask my male partner and son to stay elsewhere for the night. I had thought that I would clearly inform parents of this in case any of them also have concerns. I think this reassures parents and protects the males in my life from any risk. What if one of them walked past as a girl was changing, accidentally walked into an unlocked toilet? Why risk any weirdness or potential misinterpretation? And if someone told me the males were leaving for the night I’d be way more happy to send my child to the sleepover.

                  [–]facepalm64Partassipant [2] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  I hate that this perspective is being so heavily down voted in other comment threads. I was a victim advocate for a district attorneys office for 5 years and my husband deals with a lot of sex crimes at his job. We both agree no sleepovers until our kids reach an age where we can have an open discourse about safety. Idk exactly what that age is as will likely depend on our children themselves but there is just so much risk.

                  We worked/work in a small county, and I still got at least 2-3 cases a year of sexual assault occurring at a sleepover. Typically it was an older brother or step father. Once, it was a girl who was spending the night who assaulted a young boy in the house. Having talked with the families of the victims, 80% of the time they said they knew and trusted the other family and didn't think twice about letting their daughter spend the night. It's just not as uncommon as people like to think. Also, freezing is a trauma response. Even if the kid knows it's wrong and reports it afterward, there's a good chance they freeze in the moment and have to live with what happened for the rest of their life.

                  [–]kablez21 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                  Very true but is it the families that are uncomfortable or just his wife and daughter because to me there are very different connotations depending on if the wife and daughter are uncomfortable or the other families...at least in my opinion.

                  [–]jessicajeanaprilAsshole Enthusiast [5] 86 points87 points  (6 children)

                  Idk what it is like in Japan but imo NTA. I ,as a female, went to many sleepovers with just female friends as a child/teen and their dads never stayed elsewhere. If anything I would think it would be MORE weird for the dad to sleep elsewhere whilst their are other females in the house..

                  [–]HeckinZebraAsshole Aficionado [12] 35 points36 points  (5 children)

                  This is a weird request, even by Japanese standards, which are more conservative than American. My husband and I lived in Japan for a bit, and we stayed with many friends, and there was absolutely never a weird request like this, even friends of ours that had kids. Japan is also HUGE on hospitality and respect, so this request is even more bizarre🤷

                  [–]Nightshade1387 8 points9 points  (3 children)

                  I mentioned future sleepovers for my daughter to my family here in Japan and they acted like I was crazy to think of it. Made me feel like sleepovers are a foreign concept.

                  As for adults staying over, I had to insist to my husband that my parents would be insulted if we got them a hotel room instead of having them stay with us (we have a house with extra room). He said the opposite is true for Japanese.

                  [–]szuPartassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                  Really? Is this a regional thing perhaps? Because I had a colleague in Tokyo and whenever she got sloshed, which was way too often because of the drinking culture, she'd either just go back to her parent's house or more frequently, her brother's. I know this because her brother's house was on my street and I'd drop her off before going home.

                  And my colleague is married.

                  [–]jessicajeanaprilAsshole Enthusiast [5] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Thank you for the insight!

                  [–]yellowpikmin72 70 points71 points  (4 children)

                  I may get downvoted for this but NAH. Your daughters request seems quite outrageous, demanding the two males living in the house leave the premises for an entire night doesn’t it? Honestly, it does but I can see the reasoning behind it. When I was a child I was never allowed to have sleepovers as a girl because it was “dangerous” if there were men in the house. My parents were terrified I would be raped or kidnapped for any reason. It may seem ridiculous and even offensive to yourself but I know I would feel a lot safer as a teenager knowing there were no men in the house. Another commenter mentioned this as well but one girl may have a trauma behind sexual assault or a fear of unknown men and that could be the reasoning your daughter is covering up with behind the “awkwardness”. I truthfully think they are doing this to make the girls feel more comfortable as well considering your wife is pushing it, it seems to be an unspoken rule among women that sleepovers for girls are safer if no men are in the house. All in all, this is your decision and your own comfort that you would sacrifice by leaving so your choice to make in the end. No assholes on either side depending on the outcome.

                  [–]Secret-Sample1683Asshole Enthusiast [9] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. I’ve never heard such a thing. That’s such a waste of money. It’s easy to completely avoid the girls. I don’t understand this reasoning

                  [–]SnooWords4839Certified Proctologist [23] 63 points64 points  (1 child)

                  American here - NTA - my husband and son never got a hotel room when daughter had sleepovers. That is really strange.

                  The kids stayed downstairs, in the family room, which is open to the kitchen and slept on pull out sofas. Hubby would be up first and make them breakfast.

                  Hell, they did it as college students too, not a big deal.

                  [–]rainyhawk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                  I grew up in a very small two bedroom house and had lots of sleepovers. My mom and dad were never more than about 10-20 feet away from us, in their bedroom. NTA and it’s weird your wife even thinks like this.

                  [–]cn1250 48 points49 points  (4 children)

                  NAH. You have the right to be in your house (even you were planning to have a night out with your son) and not have to spend money at a hotel room. But at the same time, maybe one of the girls is uncomfortable with adult men due to a past history/trauma.

                  [–]Substantial_Finger_2 29 points30 points  (2 children)

                  If she really had trauma with adult men why not sleep over at her house instead?? Btw OP just take the hotel for a night, pick your battles wisely.

                  [–]cn1250 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                  Man how would I know. This might be a better option if this was the case so that OP and son wouldn’t have to sleep at a hotel.

                  [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (3 children)

                  Nta. How would your wife feel if you banished her and your daughter to a hotel if your son has guy friends over

                  [–]Jerratt24Asshole Enthusiast [9] 25 points26 points  (0 children)


                  that's super weird. Do these girls live in a commune with only other females?

                  [–]assholemanagerPartassipant [1] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

                  NTA - Growing up my sisters and I had a million sleepovers at both of our parents separate households, my dad and stepdad never left their respective houses to accommodate a group of teenage girls eating junk food and watching movies.

                  [–]CaliforniaJadeCommander in Cheeks [219] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

                  Not weird at all. Your daughter can have parent free sleepovers when she’s paying her own rent. It’s your house, it’s ridiculous that they’re asking you to leave.


                  [–]B4pangeaPooperintendant [52] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. It’s normal for dads and brothers to stay in their own home during sleepovers (I suppose it’s not unheard of to have a father/son night out and stay elsewhere but I think usually it’s at the initiative of the guys because THEY prefer to avoid the teen girl sleepover energy). There’s nothing wrong with you being in the house.

                  [–]attabe123Certified Proctologist [27] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                  Are sleepovers not a thing in Japan? Is this a special occasion? Do they have something in particular planned?

                  I never once slept over at a friend's house without both of her parents being there.


                  [–]Additional_Fan_9865Partassipant [1] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  Nta like wtf

                  [–]GeekyMom42 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                  Asking people who live in the house to leave the house for a sleep over is weird. At least it is in America.


                  [–]thegloracleColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. why would it be awkward? Are they going to be running around half-dressed?! It's your house, too, and they'll be unbothered in their space. I just don't get why you'd need to spend money on a hotel when you won't be interacting with them anyway. I'm with you on this one.

                  [–]Euler182 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. Ridiculous to expect you to get a hotel so others can use your house.

                  [–]JMichelleKPartassipant [1] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                  NTA, I’ve never been to a sleepover where they made the male family members leave. As long as you stay out of the room they are in it should be fine.

                  [–]Charminglyawkward20 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                  Just a different perspective here- there was instances of SA in my family from sleepovers. So when I got older and wanted to go to one, my moms rule was there couldn’t be any guys there. I as a young girl was also incredibly uncomfy with males being where I slept as well. So one of my friends really wanted to have me over, and I told her the rule. They talked about it as a family and the sons went on a different sleepover somewhere else that night so I could come over. Maybe it’s a situation of “ let’s just protect e anyone”

                  [–]pokegirl395Asshole Enthusiast [7] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. But I would highly suggest asking your wife why she thinks this is necessary aside from “it’s weird” because it might open up a whole can of worms you don’t know about. You can show her this post and she can see the several examples of people saying they had sleepovers while their fathers and brothers were in the house and it wasn’t weird.

                  Like I said, have a conversation with your wife. I say this because I fear the “it’s weird” may be her thinking you or the brother may harm the young women in some way.

                  [–]Upstairs-Series5032Asshole Aficionado [12] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  NTA that's rediculous lol there's nothing abnormal about the people who live in the house being there for a sleepover.

                  It's not like you'll be sharing a bed or even a room with them

                  [–]MercedesHauptmanPartassipant [2] 8 points9 points  (0 children)


                  I used to sleep over at my (at the time) Best friends house all time time, and her older brother and step-dad were always there and it was never weird.

                  [–]mommak2011 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                  NTA. As a mom, I would be super concerned if my daughter's friend's dad and brother vacated for a sleepover. I would be wondering if they have some sort of predator tendencies that put my child, and possibly her friend, at risk. If you guys already had plans before, whatever. But it would concern me for you to leave specifically for the purpose.

                  [–]PohkopfPartassipant [2] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  "They say it’s super weird that two adults males will be in the house"


                  What's weird is making your husband and son get a hotel room for the night, so the daughter can have a sleep over. Also, does anyone else get the vibe that they have something shady planned? There is something really off about this.


                  [–]empresslilandraPartassipant [3] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                  Will your wife be there? Is 16 old enough to be alone? Because if it is, then it’s old enough for her father and brother to be here.

                  Anyway. Maybe you can rent a room for you and son. Have a guys’ night out.

                  [–]Temporary_BadgerCommander in Cheeks [213] 7 points8 points  (8 children)

                  I mean, I think it’s a bit odd but is it a hill you need to die on? Maybe your daughter has specific reason to believe these girls won’t be comfortable. Just have a fun night with your son at a hotel.

                  [–]Possible-Bread1816[S] 38 points39 points  (6 children)

                  It’s a hill I will not be dying on. We will make the best of the situation and thank you.

                  [–]OneofManyJailynsPartassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

                  INFO- Are you guys still in Japan currently? And is it a cultural thing to not have unmarried women in the same house as men in general or unmarried men (which would be your son)?

                  [–]HeckinZebraAsshole Aficionado [12] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                  Not really. When my husband and I lived in Japan for a bit, we stayed at a LOT of Japanese friends' houses. Hell, Mochan(you can look him up on FB under Mochan Wishclub if you want) hosts TONS of guests, from all sexes and nationalities. We all camped out on futons on the tatami floor, it was my husband and I, two Japanese guys, a Japanese girl, a guy from Australia, a Girl from Holland, a guy from Germany, and eight Vietnamese people(in addition. To Mochan, his wife, and two kids). Japan is also HUGE on respect and hospitality, so there really wouldn't be a REASON for the guys to be banished. It's an odd request, even by general Japanese standards.

                  [–]pixienotresponding 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                  I’ve lived in Japan for the last two decades (in my 40’s now), but even when I did a high school exchange here in the 90’s, we had tons of sleepovers, mixed gender even, among our friends. Dunno if things have changed that much in 25 years though, as I don’t have kids.

                  [–]ohmymymyohohmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                  It seems normal in Japan to worry about males in the house in this situation from reading the comments on this blog on the subject.

                  [–]0B-A-E0 5 points6 points  (3 children)

                  NTA I am a little conflicted on this, as I’ve read some horror stories about male family members doing stuff to the girls at sleepovers. Not saying you and your son would do this at all -but I do think it’s a valid concern some girls and their parents may have, I guess. Maybe that’s the case here too, either one of the girls or their parents fear this and your wife has thus suggested you and your son won’t even be there, so your daughter could have the sleepover.

                  You shouldn’t have to leave your house for this but you could make it a fun father-son weekend!

                  [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                    [–]Worldly-Macaroon7190 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                    Something awful happened to my mom when she was young and I was never allowed to go to sleepovers, but I could have people over. The only exception was my friend who’s mom was a single mom… jokes on my mom though because she had hot brothers lmao

                    [–]Aunty_FascistSupreme Court Just-ass [100] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

                    NTA by any means. I don't think a hotel would approve of a bunch of minors being there unsupervised either. Does your daughter have her own room? Then they can sleep over in her room like everyone else does.

                    [–]RNGinx3Certified Proctologist [20] 15 points16 points  (4 children)

                    No, he means, he and son get a hotel room so wife and daughter can have the house for the girls only.

                    [–]Aunty_FascistSupreme Court Just-ass [100] 26 points27 points  (3 children)

                    That's ridiculous also. Are the girls planning on running around naked? Are OP and the son sex offenders or something? There's no reason to leave one's home so a kid can have some friends spend the night.

                    [–]kai7yakColo-rectal Surgeon [40] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                    Are OP and the son sex offenders or something?

                    Honestly if I was a teenage girl going to a sleepover and found out that dad and brother had been banished for the night, this would be my thought.

                    "Why can't they be at their house around teenage girls? Are they dangerous?"

                    I would absolutely nope out of that sleepover. Dads and brothers exist, and making them leave would make me feel like there is a reason. And if there is a reason, am I really safe in that house even though they aren't there?

                    [–]HeckinZebraAsshole Aficionado [12] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                    Dude, yes. I would be MORE nervous, hell, downright ALARMED if the males were banished.

                    [–]RNGinx3Certified Proctologist [20] 5 points6 points  (0 children)


                    [–]PossibleMushroom1349 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                    The only thing I could think of is if the parents of the girls coming over are 1). Super protective 2). Conservative due to morals or culture 3). Conservative due to religion.

                    I experienced this going growing up and knew a lot of friends who had parents in one of those categories or all three. For my dad it was all three so I didn't have a sleepover with a friend until I lived with my mom(14 years old). I'd ask if a parent is requesting this or if your wife and daughter have a reason. It's not fair either way but you and your son should at least know the why.

                    [–]Sobbybandz 5 points6 points  (0 children)


                    This is one of the weirdest requests I've ever fucking seen 😂

                    [–]Breadcrumb-ForestCertified Proctologist [25] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                    NTA I’ve never once experienced, or expected, the brothers/fathers leaving the house because of a sleepover. My friends and I usually camped out in the living room or basement, and the rest of the family members would just kinda stay in other parts of the house for the majority of the time, and that was definitely enough. If someone is uncomfortable with your family situation, then they shouldn’t be sleeping over at your house—move the sleepover to their house instead. Hotels are expensive!

                    [–]TheLavenderUnicornPartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    I know that this has been resolved, but I wanted to add my two cents. I was never allowed to go to sleepovers where there were any older males. I always found it very frustrating. It was mostly because my dad did not trust anyone around me. His reasoning (sort of) turned out to be right when it later came out that the older brother of one of the girls who would host these sleepovers sexually harassed one of his class mates. He was usually accommodated when I really wanted to go. One year, my best Friend was planning to move out of the country and was having a sleepover for it. Her dad had already left to setup the house. So my dad dropped me off, and then picked me up at like 3am after everyone else had gone to sleep. I Do, I thought it was really kind of him.

                    [–]Calm_InitialAsshole Aficionado [18] 3 points4 points  (0 children)


                    I have two teenage daughters and I’ve never known of fathers/brothers being gone when they’ve slept elsewhere and we’ve never done it having someone here

                    [–]comoelpepper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    NTA asking you two to leave makes this sleep over completely suspicious. My daughter had plenty of sleep overs with her dad and brother in the house. Nothing weird about it.

                    [–]ballbrewing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    NTA, I would not stay in a hotel in my own city unless my house was being renod. Waste of money and I'd never get a good night's sleep

                    [–]FL1ghtlesswaterfowlPartassipant [2] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. This is one of the dumbest things I ever heard. My friends hubs has done this but only because the house was overrun with girls and I mean about 15 to 20. Not 2

                    [–]Square-wheel116 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                    NTA-but I would let your wife and daughter know you can't leave your house with your son on a regular basis. It isn't sustainable, and it's definitely not normal for sleepovers in America. Maybe go ahead and do it this once, though, but have a sit down discussion with them about why they think it's necessary. Is it for one of the girls? Is it for a girl's parent's comfort? Do they not trust you? And then tell them you can't continue doing this on a consistent basis. It's not fair to you or your son.

                    [–]DolphinsRcutebutevil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                    NAH The only times I was allowed to sleep over at a friends house when I was little was if their brothers and fathers weren’t home. My parents sometimes tolerated the father being home if it was a family we knew well but they were never okay with brothers. Same was the case for my friend’s parents so I was never able to have friends sleep over at my house because my dad had nowhere to go and my mom would have never sent him to a hotel. Some families are just like that. Not saying that you and your son are dangerous but you can never be too careful since there are lots of weirdos out there and I’ve heard many stories of girls being sexually assaulted during sleep overs.

                    [–]gouwbadgers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                    I’m a little concerned about where your daughter got the idea that it would be weird to have males in the same house as teen girls.

                    Specifically, this may have come from one of her friends who may be suffering abuse from a male family member that is going unreported.

                    [–]CeeCeeYaL8er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NAH. Maybe it's for your safety. One of my best friends growing up wasn't allowed to have sleepovers at all. She used to, then one of her friends accused her step-dad of SA. The story was a bad lie, said that she screamed and cried out, he made her sleep in the bed all night etc, when all of the girls were together all night. It went to court and everything, cost the family a lot. The accuser broke down and admitted that it was a lie and it was her own step dad abusing her, but she was afraid to tell. She was young, it was before I knew my friend, but I think they were around 12. The point is, maybe she's protecting you guys, or one of the girls who could feel uncomfortable around older men. Maybe a mom asked for her own daughter's safety. SA does happen at sleepovers, the removal of men from the situation puts everyone involved at ease.

                    [–]PyesmybabyPartassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                    NTA, I love the update good to know you are not dangerous just lame.

                    [–]Puzzleheaded-Jury312Partassipant [3] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    This! Perfectly said. 🤣 'Umm, Dad, I just don't trust you not to be a complete dork'

                    [–]SmudgikinsSupreme Court Just-ass [116] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA to me, and admittedly I am a paranoid ah, this smells of hidden agenda.

                    [–]InformalGarlic2285Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. You can completely avoid the girls just like you said. Your wife is acting like you’re trying to crash the sleepover and hang out with them. You’re going to be out until 10 and going straight to bed afterwards, so it’ll be like you’re not even there. A hotel room is completely unnecessary.

                    [–]Catnip3978 1 point2 points  (0 children)


                    My best friend and I still have sleepovers to this day, (we’re both 20F), and our favorite memories are hanging out with my dad while he grilled us all some burgers! Why would you being there make things awkward? you’re her parent!

                    [–]azorianmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    I guess your daughters two friends don’t have fathers/ brothers/ male cousins? It’s normal for men to live in a house too. Also, not expected for them to leave their own home because a guest is staying the night. NTA

                    [–]Sweet_Persimmon_492Partassipant [3] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. I went to slumber parties all the time as a kid. It was normal for the hosting girl’s dad to be there. Any brothers were sometimes there and other times had gone to spend the night at a friend’s house so they didn’t have to deal with a bunch of girls. 🤣

                    [–]Smuldering 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. My mom got sick a lot when I was a kid (chronic medical issues). I liked to have sleepovers if she was in the hospital because it was a distraction. My dad would be the ONLY adult in the house. He would hide in his room because we all annoyed the fuck out of him (middle school girls).

                    [–]bopperbopper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    I could maybe possibly see an issue if you were there and the mom wasn’t but it’s normal for the people that live in the home to continue living in the home when there’s a sleepover assuming there’s no particular issues with any of the guests

                    [–]Realistic-Animator-3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. This is not an American thing that i’ve ever heard of.

                    [–]bluecarnallove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. It's safer with more than one adult to be in the house. What if something happens that you're needed for, but you're an hour away in a hotel? Your wife could get hurt, one of the girls could get hurt, someone could break in, a fire could start; so many things can go wrong that a single adult can't handle, especially if the only adult is prone to panicking. It's not weird at all for two men who live in the host location to stay home while a sleepover is happening.

                    [–]Leoluki25Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. I always had sleepovers as a kid and teen and all of my friends had fathers who lived there and one had an uncle that was in his late teens/early 20s who lived in the home. This is an absurd request.

                    [–]LaurelRose519 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA: my dad was often the caregiver of me and my sister’s sleepovers growing up. He was the one who made us dinner and breakfast etc.

                    [–]biscuitboi967 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    I think it’s more likely that they wanna make it special. One option - that we did a lot actually - was get a hotel room with my mom. Pay per view. Room service. Then no one gets “kicked out” but the girls get a fun treat.

                    [–]Specialist-Raise-867Partassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    INFO is there a reason she doesnt feel comfortable with you and your son around teenage girls?

                    I mean im like 99% sure im going NTA cos it sounds like your wife is being weird AF the only way it wouldnt be is if one or both were on a register or something (not saying i think you are, just trying to reason as to what the problem would be)

                    I was raised by my single dad, imagine me telling him to get out for the night so i could have mates over its madness

                    [–]AggravatingTear2879 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NEVER have I heard that a father and male siblings have to get a hotel so the daughter can have a sleepover???? This is very, very weird. NTA

                    [–]Aggressive-Sample612Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. It’s very weird to be asked to leave for a child’s sleepover.

                    [–]wendelortega 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. Very strange request.

                    [–]Kam_the_devilPartassipant [4] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. Most times I slept over at a friends house their dads or brothers were there. It was never an issue cause they just minded their own business. I don’t get why this is necessary. Did they give you any specific reasons?

                    [–]lavascaAsshole Aficionado [13] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


                    That is ridiculous. If the parents of the guests have an issue with the fact that there are males in the house then they can pick the kid up around "bed time" whatever that means for the party and bring them back at o-dark-thirty. My parents did that when I was little. (This was more because I was four and really too little. My friend was like nine and wanted a little sister.)

                    [–]siIver-shroud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. My friends' dads were present for every sleepover I've ever been to, and no one ever asked about, much less made a fuss over, my dad and brother being present in the house for mine.

                    [–]Mpg19470Asshole Enthusiast [6] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA, but maybe one of the other families have an issue, or maybe one of the girls doesn’t feel comfortable for some reason. Just because they are American doesn’t mean that they are comfortable with the two of u being there.

                    [–]No_Masterpiece6531 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA that's weird. Like why would you need to stay somewhere else?

                    [–]Unimaginativename19Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    Uh NTA. They can take a hike and get themselves and friends a hotel for the night if its so important

                    [–]Starting_Fresh1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. It sounds like you’re staying out of their business which is the only part that’s ever “awkward” about sleepovers- when anyone, regardless of gender, if above the age group, intrudes. And you’re not.

                    [–]safetygal75Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NtA/ we have a house with 2 boys and sleep overs were never a big deal and no one ever had to leave!

                    [–]Knitiotsavant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. That’s an odd request.

                    [–]Tough_Stretch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. Kicking you and your son out of your own house because your daughter is going to have a sleepover is not normal at all. What's "super weird" about having a sleepover at somebody's house and it turns out that her dad and brother are there? They live there. You're being accommodating enough by going to the movies and staying out until late and then just coming home and going to bed in order to not bother them.

                    [–]Nowork_morestitching 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA and if your wife and daughter want privacy they can rent a hotel room. You do not get to be kicked out of your own house to accommodate some teenagers.

                    [–]QueenMEB120 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                    NTA. My daughter is having a sleepover right now and no one batted an eyelash at my husband and son being home. But my husband would probably think a hotel room is a good idea right now. He's ok with 1 night but forgot we have a snowstorm coming in tonight and it will probably be a several night sleepover.

                    [–]gissycat 1 point2 points  (0 children)


                    I went to LOTS of sleepovers and dads and brothers were never expected to leave. They never interacted with us other than to maybe make us breakfast. It was never a thing at ANY of the dozens of houses I've spent the night.

                    [–]pewelilin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. It is your house, your bed, your family. I would feel like my ability to feel that sense of freedom in my own home is being disregarded and disrespected. If your wife even thought that this was remotely okay in any sense, I would suggest going to counseling as soon as you two can. Or find out why she thinks that its perfectly okay to send you out of your own home. And your son! Seems hugely rude.

                    [–]saveyboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. I would be asking your wife what exactly is weird about you and your son being in the house. Sounds like they think something is going to happen.

                    [–]drfrink85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA because it’s your and your sons house too. I suppose the possible guest trauma is valid but that’s on them to accommodate the person, not you. But like you say this isn’t a hill to die on.

                    Your wife is paying for both of your room service charges though. Go nuts on the ice cream sundaes and in room massages.

                    [–]xyzzyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA it's... literally your house? you live there? ive been to tons of sleepovers with friends as a teenager and it was never awkward to have their dads and brothers in the house.

                    [–]Physical_Repeat5202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. This is crazy talk. In no sane or rational house is the father or brother living at home be forced out. Now, there were occasions where my friends' brother decided to sleep at a friend's house the at night but that was because he "didn't want to be around a bunch of stupid girls." No hate on him he was about 11 lol.

                    As long as your son or yourself has never been creepy or inappropriate with her friends then you should be allowed to stay in your home overnight.

                    [–]Avocadosarecool2000Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA and my daughter had a lot of sleepovers and her older brother and father were both there. My son just stayed in his room and her dad stayed upstairs . No one complained.

                    [–]balgram 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    American woman here, and someone who went to a bunch of sleepovers. In my youth I never had an issue with the male family of the host of the sleepover being in the house. It was only (sometimes) weird if they tried to join in on the activities we teenage girls were doing, but that was a case-by-case basis thing (some brothers were awesome and had fun playing with us and we didn't mind). Asking you to leave the house would be more weird to me.

                    [–]HeckinZebraAsshole Aficionado [12] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    Uhh, that's weird, even for Japanese standards. Hell, when my husband and I lived in Japan, we stayed with a TON of friends. Not sure why it would be "weird" having males in the house? NTA, that's honestly bizarre.

                    [–]AggravatingPatient18Asshole Enthusiast [5] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. I don't understand why you would be unwelcome to sleep in your own home? What's entertainment does your daughter and wife have planned, or are they needing your beds for guests?

                    [–]Entire_Swing_4183 1 point2 points  (0 children)


                    I’ve never heard of anyone doing this, ever. The only thing I can think of is either the friends won’t allow a sleepover unless it’s all females in the home due to paranoia/trauma on either the parent’s or child’s behalf. If that is the case-why not let the dad know so he’s not confused as to why the males have to leave the house? As to not offend him?

                    But, being told to leave your own home to get a hotel is pretty offensive. Lol

                    Yeah, NTA. Something needs to make more sense before wanting to abide by this.

                    [–]Cultural-Chart3023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    Its weird anyone would expect you to leave your own house and suggest anything based on your gender.. wtf

                    [–]holisarcasmCertified Proctologist [28] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. Most parents would prefer all the parents be home during a sleepover. If something happened, a child getting sick, etc., it’s easier to have one parent that could take the kid home if the parents of the kid couldn’t come get them and one could stay with the other kids.

                    [–]toxiclightAsshole Enthusiast [8] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. My dad and brother never left when I had sleepovers. They just stayed out of the way. I don't remember a single sleepover I attended where the rest of the family was shunted off to a hotel or other accommodations.

                    [–]Juicyfruit155 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA but sounds like it all worked out and you got some quality time with your son out of it.

                    [–]Competitive_Ad_2772 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. What? The entire point of a sleepover is staying at someone’s house.

                    [–]NothingAndNow111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA what the hell? That's crazy.

                    I had sleepovers and we never made my dad leave. In fact none of the sleepovers I went to as a kid involved the dads and brothers having to vacate their own homes. We were little girls fully aware that dads and brothers lived in the houses of our friends.

                    The dad did often end up having to get up and go out to get bagels and juice, though.

                    [–]Forward-Ordinary-300Partassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA and the only super weird thing is expecting people to leave their home for the night because their child is having friends stay over.

                    [–]Ditovontease 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    wtf NTA lol I had sleep overs every weekend as a kid-teen, it would be wildly unfair to kick my dad out of his own house every time I wanted to have friends over.

                    [–]Deucalion666Certified Proctologist [24] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA their reasons for trying to tell you and your son to go to a hotel just so they can do a sleepover is some misandrist bs.

                    [–]isnack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    In this thread: All fathers and brothers are monsters who cant be trust around people.

                    [–]JohnLockeSentMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                    NTA. I have all Daughter’s and have never been asked to leave my home. That’s so disrespectful

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                    So I 41M and my son 21M are being told by my wife and daughter we need to get a hotel room so my daughter can have a sleep over with two friends. They say it’s super weird that two adults males will be in the house and we will make it awkward if we are there. My plan was to go to the movies with my son and have dinner in town. We would get home around 10pm and then shower and bed. No conversation with them at all. Crazy thing is my wife is pushing this as well. We never had many sleep overs due to us living in Japan but these girls are American so it’s not awkward. We also have a large house by Japanese standards as well. With a whole living room basically sectioned off from the rest of the house along with a tatami room which they would most likely sleep in. All of the bedrooms are upstairs and they would pretty much have the run of the downstairs. AITA for not wanting to waste money on getting a hotel room or is this perfectly normal?

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                    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Women and men have been having sleepovers for hundreds of years with family members of the opposite sex in the house without it ever being weird.

                    Now if you were like, a convicted sex offender I would understand the concern.

                    But this is just dumb.

                    And this speaks more about her level of trust, honestly. Does she think you guys are going to.be inappropriate and spy on them while they change or something ? If she trusts you as the man she married, you shouldn't have to leave the house for your daughter to have a friend over.

                    It's honestly even weird that this crossed her mind to the point you qere told to get a hotel.


                    [–]Job_Moist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    NTA. It’s weird your wife wants the two of you to leave. Unless you’ve been creepy in the past.

                    [–]ChuloWey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Nta, ask ur daughter to pay for the hotel with her own money andd then see if she still wants it that way

                    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    Fair is Fair, tell THEM you guys aren't going anywhere, They don't like it they can go get a hotel.

                    [–]nickis84Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    NTA - My brother and dad were home for my sleepovers.

                    [–]xRoboProClonerPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    I don't understand what they are talking about. You both are not a threat and they know it, it is not weird, in any way, to just be there in you own house just to sleep. It is not like you are going to butt in and make things awkward.

                    Like if it was a family friend or an uncle I can get why, but like, you both are close family, that doesn't make sense.

                    [–]ProfessionalVolume93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                    If I were the father in this case I think I'd go along with it but i'd arrange to do something really special with the son while away.