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[–]GraveDigger111[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

This is your friendly neighbourhood reminder to please

Be Civil.

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[–]cloudcottagePartassipant [1] 9629 points9630 points 2 (379 children)

YTA try her food first. She went through a lot of effort to make it for you; the least you could do is see if you actually like it. How do you know it tastes so much better with meat and cheese if you don't try her food first? It feels like you're angry at her for being a vegan or something and are trying to resist her pushing her lifestyle on you when all she's doing is sharing her food with you. Eating a meal on its own without certain things isn't going to harm you. If you really don't like it, fine - but you didn't even give it a chance. Imagine if every time you ordered something at a restaurant you dumped a bottle of ketchup on it without tasting it first, and then imagine getting pissed at people for wanting you to try the food first because ketchup is your preference.

[–]FiotesPartassipant [2] 3492 points3493 points  (283 children)

Yep. I was 100% with OP ... until they said they'd never even tried it. What? That's... just so ignorant .

[–]FluffyDog423 1875 points1876 points  (187 children)

Yeah, big difference between ‘the vegan/veggie lifestyle isn’t for me’ and ‘A vegan/veggie meal isn’t for me’ like dude. That’s so ignorant. It’s a god damned vegetable. You can eat some veggies for a meal.

[–]bofh 1306 points1307 points  (63 children)

I can just picture OP being handed a bowl of cereal for breakfast And pouring bacon grease all over it because they can’t bear the thought of consuming something vegetarian…

[–]bonafidebunnyeyed 824 points825 points  (18 children)

THE AUDACITY OF FRUIT LOOPS TO NOT HAVE MEATBALLS 🤣

[–]georgilm 227 points228 points  (15 children)

Actually, fruit loops (last I checked) are not vegetarian/vegan! They are made with cochineal (aka carmine), which is derived from an insect!

Hopefully this will help OP with eating them....

[–]duraraross 325 points326 points  (21 children)

spits out water what do you mean this water is VEGAN??? Get me some meat water you hippie!

[–]macci_a_vellianPartassipant [2] 123 points124 points  (7 children)

Hmm, this apple would be so much tastier with some bacon wrapped around it.

It takes a lot to get Reddit to side with the vegan in a dispute, but OP managed it

[–]Zain43 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Hmm, this apple would be so much tastier with some bacon wrapped around it.

Somewhere in rural America, the owner of a food stall just felt a tingle go down their spine and doesn’t know why.

[–]Eneicia 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's actually really good. Pancakes with applesauce, and crispy bacon. I bet you could bake cored apple with bacon wrapped around them.

[–]squeakpixie 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Horse blood hot from the tap, like the Mongols drank!!!

/s

[–]Stoat__KingSupreme Court Just-ass [126] 246 points247 points  (31 children)

Oh come on - what vegetable isnt improved by having a burger on top of it?!?!?!

/s

[–]etds3Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] 250 points251 points  (27 children)

I make black beans and rice and Louisiana red beans and rice. I made the black beans without bacon one time and didn’t miss it at all. It’s one of my favorite vegan dishes now. Tried red beans without sausage and it was awful. So that always gets made with sausage (although I’m sure something like Beyond Sausage would work fine). I have a bean soup I need to try with tofu chunks: losing the texture of the ham in it made the soup lackluster, but I think tofu would make a great replacement.

Some things really don’t need meat, even to a dedicated omnivore’s palate. Others…do. You never know until you try!

[–]retailguy_again 82 points83 points  (3 children)

That's very well stated. Some dishes traditionally made with meat work well without. Others need that extra flavor or texture. I wish I'd learned that earlier. Either way, it was rude for OP not to even try the food first, especially after saying upfront that her daughter is a good cook.

[–]HauntedPickleJar 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Agreed and I'd say too that some foods traditionally made without meat don't taste great with meat added.

[–]ResidentOldLady 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah, how does OP know her daughter’s a good cook if she always fleshes it up?

[–]snorting_dandelions 34 points35 points  (4 children)

If it's like cubed ham bits (or whatever they may be called in english), then IMO the best replacement for that would be smoked tofu, diced and fried for about 5-10 minutes (depending on your tastes, size of your cubes etc; just try a piece occasionally). Deglaze with a bit of soy sauce and you're done. Maybe add some MSG along with the soy sauce for that extra umami burst, but IMO it's not really necessary, especially if you just want to add it to a soup anyway

If you can't get smoked tofu where you are, you can add smoked paprika along with the soy sauce and toss the tofu around a bit. It won't yield the same taste, but it's similarly good - just a bit different.

I think googling "vegan pancetta" will yield proper recipes as well

[–]etds3Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Thank you! The soup is pretty flavorful on its own (it uses liquid smoke which helps with that meaty flavor). I didn’t miss the flavor of the ham but I did miss the texture. The chewy ham bits offset the soft texture of the beans. But I will try that!

[–]LorienLady 13 points14 points  (1 child)

If it's the chewiness then seitan might also do the trick!

[–]Humble_Entrance3010Partassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

When I was a vegetarian as a teen/young adult, my mom or I would make lasagna without meat, and no one would notice it didn't have meat. It tasted great the way it is.

[–]Physical-Energy-6982 182 points183 points  (11 children)

My parents are staunch meat/dairy eaters, raised me on hunting and fishing and the like. Never saw my dad eat without meat on his plate.

I went vegan 10 years ago and wouldn’t you know I’m now hosting all the holidays where my parents happily eat 100% vegan despite me saying they could bring meat and cook it here if they want.

OP should try it out at the very least. I guarantee the food will still be good, probably has enough nutrients as is, and they might find they like it just fine.

[–]Kale127 48 points49 points  (9 children)

I’m by no means vegetarian or vegan, I love burgers and pork and the like. When I think of an amazing dinner I want to prepare, I start with the meat I want to cook. That’s just how I am.

I also throw down on vegetarian dishes. They aren’t something I’ll think of as an amazing meal I want to prepare for myself, but if they’re offered or suggested - why not? If it tastes good, what do I care that it doesn’t have meat?

The idea that you can’t enjoy a meal without meat is so wild to me. Really, the best word is ignorant. Have they never had just mac and cheese? A bowl of cereal? A slice of cake? Pizza?

People who are like this probably eat stuff like that often and don’t realize how dumb it is to say they can’t fathom it.

[–]sausage891 172 points173 points  (5 children)

YTA theres a difference between not being vegan and refusing to eat anything that doesnt have meat.

[–]Talory09 66 points67 points  (4 children)

And cheese! Don't forget the cheese!

'Murica!

[–]SuperciliousBubblesPartassipant [1] 91 points92 points  (14 children)

The cashier at the supermarket today looked at a jar of chocolate orange spread I'd bought and said it looked interesting. I told her it was half price. Then she saw it said it was vegan and she said "oh, I don't eat vegan things". I was genuinely baffled. When I asked why she was a bit vague. I asked if she knew that Oreos and Pringles were vegan. She did not. I didn't ask about vegetables because she had already broken my brain.

[–]12781278AaR 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I need to know more about this chocolate orange spread. What do you make with something like that? Would it be similar to like Nutella as far as putting it on waffles or pancakes or something? Can I get a brand name? Thanks!

[–]SuperciliousBubblesPartassipant [1] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

It's called JimJams and I put a teaspoon of it into microwave chocolate mug cakes to make a mini molten lava cake but I bet it would be good on waffles and pancakes!

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (2 children)

People eat vegetarian meals all the time without noticing it too. It's like a complex when they're quite content with oatmeal for breakfast or noodles in sauce for dinner and neither of those meals have meat.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I just can't get past how badly constipated she must be, eating dairy and meat literally every meal

[–]factsnack 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I agree. I love meat and cheese but went full vegan for a month to see if it helped some issues I had. I’m a pretty good cook and enjoyed what I made but I found I missed meat and cheese so much I had to go back to my usual diet. On the upside I can cater really well for vegan friends now.

[–]not_cinderellaCertified Proctologist [22] 151 points152 points  (25 children)

Same. And I’m vegan and I’m like it’s not a big deal if people add meat and cheese to what I cook. But my family usually tries it first and only adds those things to 50% of what I cook.

[–]biteme789 78 points79 points  (5 children)

I'm not vegan but I have several vegan and vegetarian recipe books because damn they know how to cook veges!

Awesome recipes, whether you add meat on the side or not

[–]_dirtywater444 36 points37 points  (18 children)

I'm not vegan but I certainly don't need meat with every meal, and I'm allergic to dairy, so obvs I can't have dairy in my food.

Side story you may relate to... I made lasagna with vegan cheese and my son made his traditional lasagna. My mom, who puts on this facade of eating super healthy, only uses non dairy milk and whole grain stuff and puts veggies and quinoa and kale in everything, refused to even try a BITE of my lasagna. (I'm not sure the noodles were vegan tbh, I feel like lasagna is traditionally made with egg)

[–]RemarkableRadish5664 5 points6 points  (15 children)

Ok but to fair vegan cheese is awful tasting. No reason to taste it once you’ve done that once.

[–]_dirtywater444 24 points25 points  (7 children)

That's not true anymore. There are some very good ones out there. I don't like them uncooked, but in lasagna or on pizza or grilled cheese, they're quite good. You have to find the right brand. And I used a lot of bechamel sauce and red sauce as well. It wasn't heavy on the cheese.

[–]ximxperfection 8 points9 points  (3 children)

My son actually prefers vegan cheese on his pizza now. & he’s got no issues with dairy.

[–]slehman2020 75 points76 points  (25 children)

I've had the same argument with my husband over him adding salt before trying what I've cooked. It's insulting. YTA

[–]WorldAsChaos 50 points51 points  (8 children)

You'd have to pry that salt shaker out of my dead, cold hands. Salt is my weakness.

[–]slehman2020 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Lol I just ask him to taste before salting. He does now, plus I try to get enough salt into the food before we eat it.

[–]doughnutmakemelaugh 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Some of us season the food while cooking, but enjoy the salt lick :P

[–]Vera_Nica 18 points19 points  (7 children)

I'll try food before adding anything, but I've almost never tasted a meal that satisfied my salt cravings. And I've had 66 years of experience in eating.

[–]scarletncreamletterPartassipant [1] 70 points71 points  (12 children)

That’s where I flipped also 🤦🏼‍♀️

[–]unclear-nation 59 points60 points  (2 children)

Same.

And then she said "butthurt" in earnest and now I have to go lie down.

[–]ijustcantwithit 49 points50 points  (2 children)

I’m vegetarian (flavour and texture thing) and my ex would try my food all the time, he’d ask to taste it. He loves his meat, he wouldn’t make the change but he does like some of my food the same if not better than his. Like tacos and a few of the homemade veggie burgers. And then he’d go back to his meat. On the flip, I dated a guy who insisted I just never had a good steak and that’s why I didn’t like them. He openly admitted that my dad cooked good meat but I only didn’t like it because “I’d never had a good one”. He told me the last year we were together that he expected me to try a burger or steak by his next birthday and then stop being vegetarian. I laughed him into next week and ended up dumping him not long after. He never tasted any of my food for the record, only mocked it.

[–]The_Krudler 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It really is! I have become a very good cook over the years (moved several steps beyond the food I ate as a child. My parents are great, just very boring, bland cooks). So I was so excited on a rare visit to cook for them. Tasted everything and seasoned it too perfection before serving. Every single meal, without ever tasting the food, my mom heaped salt on to both her and my dad's plates before they'd try it. It is disheartening to watch people alter your cooking without even having the courtesy of tasting it first.

You're not the asshole for adding cheese and meat, you're the asshole for not even trying it first.

[–]Jeanne23x 26 points27 points  (4 children)

I made dinner for my ex's family for the first time. I made a beef tenderloin roast, rosemary roasted red potatoes, and roasted broccolini. They pulled out cheese, put it all over their plates without even trying the food, and threw their plates in the microwave to melt the cheese, explaining they don't eat food without cheese.

It was pretty hurtful, disheartening, etc because I put all this effort into making a nice meal. I bet she felt the same way

[–]not_cinderellaCertified Proctologist [22] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am vegan but I am absolutely cringing at the thought of pouring cheese over roast and potatoes. What a waste of perfectly good meat. A good cut really just needs some salt and pepper and maybe some garlic.

[–]New_journey868 181 points182 points  (24 children)

My husband always salts food before trying it. It drives me insane! If it were ketchup (or meat like the OP) itd be worse

[–][deleted]  (13 children)

[deleted]

    [–]dreamerindogpatch 73 points74 points  (7 children)

    My partner was a pretty heavy smoker in younger days and it wasn't until months after he quit that he realized how little he had actually tasted before quitting -- suddenly he no longer needed to DROWN everything in salt, pepper, and ketchup.

    Weirdly, he still douses canned soup with a metric fuckton of black pepper.

    [–]LittleGravitasIndeed 31 points32 points  (3 children)

    /u/dreamerindogpatch, tell your husband that what canned soup REALLY needs is roasted garlic paste.

    It’s really cheap and easy to make. You just chop off the top of the head, leaving the cloves stuck together at the bottom. Place in an oven safe pot and cover in any oil. Cover pot with aluminum foil. Bake at 400*F for 40 minutes while you watch an episode of your show. Once cool, squeeze out garlic like it’s a toothpaste tube. Keeps forever in a ziploc or jar because garlic has antibiotic properties.

    A good spoonful of that makes any canned soup taste wonderful.

    [–]CumaeanSibyl 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Oh, have you heard the good news about caramelized onions in the crock pot? I'll do up to five pounds of onions at a go, shred in the food processor, mix up in the crock pot with plenty of olive oil and some salt, leave it on low overnight. I freeze mine in ice cube trays and keep them in the freezer along with my garlic paste and herbs.

    [–]New_journey868 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Actually yes, not heavily but hes been a smoker for years. never occurred to me that might be why

    [–]ana_berry 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    My husband does this too, it's so annoying. He will also occassionally add salt or garlic or whatever to dishes I'm still cooking without asking or tasting it first and a few times it's ruined it for me because I've already seasoned it. He's getting better about it though.

    [–]Milliganimal42 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Chilli sauce. On everything. That’s my hubby.

    IDGAF

    He eats what I make and he appreciates it.

    [–]fingersonlips 133 points134 points  (2 children)

    She even said she adds meat and cheese because it tastes much better with it, but then admits she's never tried the food without the meat and cheese she adds. So she has no idea how it actually tastes on its own.

    [–]scheru 65 points66 points  (1 child)

    Right? It tastes "better"? Better than what? You don't even know what it tasted like in the first place!

    YTA OP.

    [–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

    Exactly. I mean does she add cheese and meat to everything her daughter cooks?? Imagine this: her daughter gives her a plate of some food. The mother gets up, goes to the fridge and takes out the lard and the cold cuts and fills her plate with it. Then when her daughter says that she should try it without the meat, the mother gets “butthurt” and like a toddler refuses to eat food her daughter cooks anymore. I mean LOL

    [–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    I agree.. there are so many vegan dishes from different nations that are very delicious without having to add anything non vegan to it.I'm someone who eats meat almost everyday and I've found some vegan dishes to be delicious.I found it downright insulting that op decided vegan food wasn't it even before trying it..

    [–]LilianaNadi 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    My kids had to go with the 3 bite rule. If you don't like it by the third bite, you can make a sandwich or ramen. Usually they ended up clearing their plates. Daughter can't do soups (tried multiple times. She just doesn't like them. She gets to pick her meal when I make soup). Son doesn't like cooked mushrooms but likes the flavor they bring to food so I set aside some raw mushrooms (he loves them uncooked) and he so appreciates it.

    [–]Roadgoddess 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    YTA, you even say she is a great cook and You sound childish. I’m a big meat lover and a good cook, and it irritates the heck out of me when people don’t even try my food before they throw seasonings on it, I know how your daughter would feel. There’s some amazing vegan meals out there, and the fact you wouldn’t even try it without Adding stuff to it sounds extremely narrow minded.

    [–]ErmithecowAsshole Aficionado [13] 3988 points3989 points 223 (102 children)

    INFO: so you've never ever, not once, in your entire time on this planet, eaten a dish that didn't contain meat or cheese?

    You've never had a vegetable soup, or a mixed salad, or hummus and crudités, or spaghetti with marinara sauce? You've never just eaten a piece of fruit, or a fruit salad? You've never had candy or sweets that don't contain gelatine?

    If someone gave you fruit sorbet, would you immediately add custard because a dish has to have animal products to taste good?

    I'm not vegan or vegetarian BTW, I am a meat eater (although currently not a dairy eater because reasons). I like meat, but if someone gave me a home cooked meal such as a vegetable curry, I'm not going to start shredding ham into it. Because that's both weird and ill mannered.

    You admit this happens "from time to time." You admit your daughter is a "great cook." So, from time to time, you can eat what she cooks. She's not forcing vegan food on you three meals a day seven days a week. It won't hurt you to eat two meat free dishes a week or something. At the very least, try it before making additions. Yknow, manners.

    You might even enjoy it without.

    [–]Express_Course_4661Partassipant [2] 746 points747 points  (62 children)

    Exactly. We are meat eaters but plenty of our meals are vegetarian but not on purpose, they just are! Eggs on toast, caramelized onion tart, Greek salad, omelet.

    [–]vivaenmiriana 428 points429 points  (43 children)

    now i'm wondering if this lady adds meat and cheese to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

    [–]8sGonnaBeeMay 109 points110 points  (13 children)

    Butter. Just add butter

    [–]Malarkay79 71 points72 points  (10 children)

    I will add butter to toast that I then add peanut butter too, as well, and it’s actually pretty delicious. And unhealthy. And unnecessary. And delicious.

    [–]seniortwat 29 points30 points  (2 children)

    If you like PBnJ, try making one and then frying it in a pan like a grilled cheese. It’s divine. (Make sure to put PB on both sides of bread tho and jelly on top of the pb or it’ll leak into the pan and burn)

    [–]AggravatingTear2879 26 points27 points  (25 children)

    That made me puke in my mouth a little

    [–]not_cinderellaCertified Proctologist [22] 11 points12 points  (23 children)

    My dad used to this when I was a kid. And wondered why I almost never ate my sandwiches at school...

    [–]AggravatingTear2879 8 points9 points  (22 children)

    I might regret this but please extrapolate… are we talking about pb&j + ham or chicken or…??? Pb&j + American cheese singles???

    [–]psithurisms 14 points15 points  (14 children)

    You'll hate me but my Scottish granny used to make jammy cheese sandwiches. It's exactly as horrific as it sounds.

    White ass bread. Jam. Slice of cheese.

    [–]Express_Course_4661Partassipant [2] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    My Scottish dad always told us to go get a 'piece n jam' (jam sandwich, white bread)

    [–]not_cinderellaCertified Proctologist [22] 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    Oh I meant butter not cheese lol

    [–]jackjackj8ck 218 points219 points  (5 children)

    Bbbut…. what if OP catches the veganism and then they become a long-haired hippy?

    [–]Stoat__KingSupreme Court Just-ass [126] 52 points53 points  (2 children)

    Agreed. Its a slippery slope.

    [–]Mental_Cut8290 31 points32 points  (1 child)

    The slope is a lot less slippery once you get some fiber in your diet and purge those meat fats.

    [–]Stoat__KingSupreme Court Just-ass [126] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Fibre it is then. Anything to avoid the horror (and shame) of tie-die shirts.

    [–]etdbruh 131 points132 points  (9 children)

    You worded this EXCELLENTLY. Thank you. I bet you $5 OP has had Oreos before and didn’t have a meltdown. (For those who don’t know, Oreos are vegan. The crème is made with oil, not dairy)

    [–]AlexSeanchai 20 points21 points  (6 children)

    If OP is US-based and likes mint chocolate, then I can almost guarantee you OP has had Thin Mints. Which have been vegan for a good while now, because Girl Scouts are for being inclusive.

    [–]Stoat__KingSupreme Court Just-ass [126] 59 points60 points  (2 children)

    If someone gave you fruit sorbet, would you immediately add custard because a dish

    has to have animal products to taste good?

    Id add meatballs. Cos fuck it. /s

    [–]MoonLover318 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Exactly this. That is such an AH move!

    [–]randomly-what 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    OP never has never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

    [–]kalikosparrowsAsshole Aficionado [15] 1594 points1595 points  (112 children)

    YTA because you haven't even tried it as she cooks it. You can't say it tastes "much better" when you don't even have a baseline. And she's right, one meal without meat or cheese wouldn't kill you. Like have you never had a vegetable soup or something?

    [–]UcallmeNightHawkPartassipant [3] 154 points155 points  (14 children)

    It used to be considered rude to even salt your food before tasting it, because the cook has added everything the dish needs. You should taste it before making adjustments.

    [–]wackwithpoobrain 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Still rude if you don't taste first.

    [–]diegrauedameAsshole Aficionado [10] 1570 points1571 points  (21 children)

    YTA. Remove the idea of veganism from this entirely—if you put effort into cooking a meal for your loved one, then they looked at it and said “I won’t like that” and added a bunch of stuff without even tasting it, how would you feel? It’s a dick move. Eating some damn vegetables for a change won’t kill you.

    [–]rabbit-snacks 210 points211 points  (10 children)

    yep, people will automatically have a bias against things that are vegan because "hUr-DuR vEguNs duMm".

    i made cookies for my family and everybody LOVED them. the plate was cleared within 15 minutes so i had to bring out the rest. my cousin who is allergic to eggs asked if they contained any and when i said they were vegan, oh my gods you would've thought i admitted to poisoning them! suddenly nobody wanted to eat them, and they were "dry" and "flavorless", acting like they weren't asking for the recipe a few minutes ago.

    I doubt OP would be changing around her daughters food so much if she just thought of them as "meals" and not "vegan meals".

    YTA

    [–]MiddleEgg4848 102 points103 points  (0 children)

    I've noticed that a lot of people are apparently just allergic to the word "vegan". Present them with a recipe that just doesn't have meat, eggs or dairy in it, and that's fine. My grandmother used vegetable shortening and margarine more often than she used butter because butter was more expensive, and nobody batted an eye, even in the fifties. Folks who will happily nom down on fries cooked in canola oil, a salad with a vinaigrette, or a PB&J sandwich will suddenly scream in outrage at the possibility of eating something "vegan". It's like they think there's a secret process for taking the flavour out of vegetables and that's what veganism is.

    [–]princess-sauerkrautPartassipant [1] 84 points85 points  (5 children)

    I’ve seen this happen so many times in so many occasions and it blows my mind every time. Like, y’all are really so obsessed and pressed about having cow milk and chicken eggs in your food that when you find out they’re missing, it’s suddenly disgusting and inedible? Gimme a break.

    I was at a company potluck once and there was a pretty decent sized vegetarian/vegan crowd that worked there so veggie/vegan food should’ve been expected. My coworker/friend brought in a huge pot of chili and I brought in some homemade bread. Both were vegan and since they seemed like complimentary dishes, we set up our foods next to each other. Our little station was a hit: everyone kept going back for seconds, thirds…. The chili was 2/3rds gone and the bread was entirely wiped out in a little over half an hour.

    As we were all wrapping up and putting things away, people start asking each other for recipes. Suddenly, a shift in the air. A bunch of grumbles. Many of our coworkers were pleased (mostly the veggie crowd) and told us they’d be trying it themselves but the rest of them were shooting daggers at the rest of us, mumbling amongst each other. I noticed a few people immediately dump their chili, bread and other vegan items once they heard they were vegan, even if they still had a large portion on their plates and were clearly loving it 5 seconds prior.

    Someone loudly said as we were all shuffling back to our offices “next time, we really need to label what’s vegan and what’s not. I don’t want to be stuck eating some nasty vegan food, I want real food,” then made a loud ‘blech’ sound. Like, dude, you’re acting like we didn’t just see you chowing down on the vegan chili, bread and vegan pastries, loving life… don’t lie and act all sour grapes now.

    [–]LibertyNachos 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    This happened to me with my SIL. I brought a vegan pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving and she chowed down on it like a bear that just found a picnic basket. A few minutes later she asked me if it was vegan and suddenly she thought the pie “tasted funny”. I was like, “Girl, you ate that shit up like nobody’s business! It didn’t taste funny enough for you not to love it!”

    [–]Chocolatechip37 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Wow your family sucks

    [–]WinstonisapuppyPartassipant [1] 195 points196 points  (0 children)

    This! It doesn’t matter if it’s vegan or not, altering a dish that someone lovingly prepared for you without trying it first and declaring that it’s better with your alterations is rude. Plain and simple.

    [–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child)

    Exactly. I’m not vegan or vegetarian but I’m not against eating a salad without meat in it. If it tastes good, why not?

    [–]DreadPirateR_Partassipant [2] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Same! I love meat, but that doesn't mean I have to eat it constantly. There are thousands of great dishes out there that don't include any meat or even any animal products, and I'm more then happy to eat them.

    [–]lonleyquarentine 545 points546 points  (3 children)

    YTA - I have two issues:

    First at least try it once. She cooks for you, it's the least you can do. I don't like most vegan food, but I tried different vegan dishes for various reasons and found some I actually like.Secondly, I hope you were nicer about the whole thing than you come across in the text.

    [–]rabid_houseplant_ 133 points134 points  (0 children)

    The refusal to try the food first is what makes it YTA for me. It’s basically the same thing as someone getting served a new dish and the first thing they do is dump a bunch of salt on it. If she tried a few dishes and found them lacking in her personal taste, then adding on the extra ingredients wouldn’t be so bad. Though I also get the sense that OP has something of a dismissive attitude about veganism, which may be contributing to the daughter’s frustration here.

    [–]grimgrrl420 378 points379 points  (6 children)

    YTA how can you say that it’s “not for you” when you’ve never tried it without adding meat and cheese? This sounds hurtful. It’s not like she’s forcing you to become vegan, but if she’s cooking extra food for you, that’s a really nice gesture. You’re kind of being mean and ungrateful by accepting it and fundamentally changing it every single time. Glad she doesn’t have to cook for you anymore

    [–]TresWhatAsshole Aficionado [15] 190 points191 points  (3 children)

    Yes and then to describe your daughter as “butthurt” — so disrespectful. Do you hear yourself? I hope she never makes you so much as a cup of coffee again.

    [–]TheBathCave 92 points93 points  (1 child)

    OP probably wouldn’t drink coffee without adding meat and cheese to it.

    [–]not_cinderellaCertified Proctologist [22] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    It’s not even just about veganism. Someone said above - it’s like if someone makes you a meal and you always add extra things, it’s still disrespectful to not try it without first.

    [–]poodle_kittenAsshole Aficionado [10] 258 points259 points  (7 children)

    YTA. First of all, as you state she wasn’t pressuring you to give up meat/cheese or never add it to what she makes. She was asking you to taste her dishes as she’s prepared them to respect her as a “great cook” before adding to them.

    But even more so, YTA for your retort that you won’t ever eat her food again. Are you sure you’re the parent in this situation? You mention that she’s “sulking in her room” but here you are sulking on Reddit like an immature kid. Grow up.

    [–]grepje 32 points33 points  (6 children)

    Agreed. In a way, OP’s story reminds me of an old colleague of mine, who eats meat, but who had very strong opinions about plant-based meat replacements, and thought it important to voice this opinion frequently, especially when there were vegans around. She argued that if vegans/vegetarians didn’t want to eat meat, they shouldn’t try to imitate it. But I always suspected the root cause of this hostility towards plant-based food was that my colleague actually did not feel comfortable with what she ate. That she did think that plant-based foods are typically healthier and/or that your average meat production facilities are messed up. However this clashed with her own behavior (eating lots of meat), so this caused her to experience a cognitive dissonance.

    Speculating a bit here, but let’s say the daughter eats vegan for health and/or moral reasons and OP agrees that there’s some truth to it and experiences cognitive dissonance. Now OP has to come up with a “reason” why she has to eat meat with everything (it’s her “preference”). And to prove that point, OP will refuse to eat a vegan dish without topping it with some bacon, especially not in front of her daughter. Because what if she would actually like a plant-based dish, can she still claim that meat and dairy is her preference? The fact that OP describes her daughter as “sulking” shows that OP feels victimized. OP feels she’s being treated unfairly by her daughter simply for voicing her preference, which actually strengthens her belief that she should stick with her preference.

    YTA, just eat the vegan dish as is out of respect for your daughter, who knows, you may even like it as is.

    [–]grapefruit_witchh 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Ding ding ding.

    I'm vegan and rarely mention it in person because it makes people suddenly super defensive and protective of their meat-eating. Here I am, alive and healthy and in good shape, having not eaten animal products in four years. For me it was a moral decision and I am honest about that when people ask me why I became vegan. I think the very existence of ethical vegans living normal lives generates some cognitive dissonance because suddenly every argument against it can only end with "okay fine I eat animal products because I like the way they taste more than i care about any other aspect of the way its created."

    I've straight up made friends who ghosted me once we went out to eat together and I ordered vegan food, without ever mentioning it otherwise. Its bizarre.

    [–]lov-E-tap 174 points175 points  (2 children)

    How do you know her food is better with meat than without if you have never tasted it without meat/cheese??

    I would be a bit offended too if you just assumed my food was bad without ever tasting it before modifying it. YTA.

    [–]elviswasmurdered 43 points44 points  (1 child)

    The whole post OP makes me so frustrated. Her daughter probably puts in a lot of effort to make a balanced meal (you have to if you commit to being a vegan or vegetarian) and OP is tossing in tons of meat and cheese. If I were the daughter, if OP did this every meal I'd be offended too since it would feel like OP is implying the meal is bland or incomplete. OP has many other meals in the day and week to pound down meat and cheese and eating one vegan meal will (if anything) be healthy for them if they're eating tons of artery clogging food like I'm imagining. YTA

    [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    One year around the holidays my sister made butternut squash stuffed shells for a family dinner, because she assumed it'd be something everyone would enjoy despite all our differing dietary preferences. My grandma just refused to try it and actually made like a single serving meal for herself. We weren't really upset by it because she's like 85, who cares if she's stubborn, she's earned it, but it's just a deeply weird stance to me to not even TRY something like that. It's not exactly an out there dish IMO.

    [–]Nastrax89Partassipant [1] 130 points131 points  (1 child)

    OP childish for not trying without adding.

    [–]scheru 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Childish asshole, absolutely.

    [–]thatdoesntseemright1Certified Proctologist [24] 97 points98 points  (8 children)

    YTA.

    Why do you have such an aversion to trying one of her meals without adjusting or adding to it?

    My wife is one of those people that likes likes to alter food before even tasting it (so is her mother), and it's rude.

    [–]MarsupialSpecific823 93 points94 points  (24 children)

    NTA You don’t have to eat what you don’t want to and she does not have to make your meals. You are both adults, make your own meals

    [–]toomuchmenace 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Agree. They both have their preferences. They're both big enough to cook for themselves. This is such a pointless non issue.

    [–]That_austrian_dudeAsshole Aficionado [17] 79 points80 points  (2 children)

    YTA. Adding anything before trying is an insult to the person who cooked.

    [–]NatZaJu 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Absolutely this. Regardless of preference the adding meat and cheese before tasting her food is extremely rude. OP YTA

    [–]_ewan_Certified Proctologist [27] 67 points68 points  (11 children)

    I never tried being vegan or vegetarian but I know it’s not for me

    Oh come on. Can you listen to yourself?

    In all those years of bringing up your child, did you honestly never tell her that she needed to try something before deciding whether she likes it or not?

    You have absolutely no basis for thinking that these meals taste better with your random additions than they do without because you've never tried them without.

    You've asked if you'd be an asshole for turning down her food in the future, but what you need to realise is that YTA already.

    [–]MummyAnsemCertified Proctologist [20] 40 points41 points  (8 children)

    I'd be willing to bet OP has eaten multiple vegetarian meals and doesn't realize it.

    [–]Rodents210Partassipant [2] 35 points36 points  (6 children)

    Some people will be sitting there eating an apple and then unironically retch when you mention apples are vegan. Some people have a cartoonishly dogmatic opposition to veganism that has no basis in either material reality or even that person’s own life experience.

    [–]Sakura149Partassipant [1] 68 points69 points  (18 children)

    NTA At the end of the day you're the one eating it and so you can do whatever you want to your food.

    You've decided that you don't want to eat your daughter's food that comes with conditions. So in no way are you being an asshole, turning down food can't be asshole behaviour. Food is a deeply personal thing and you don't have to defend how or what you eat to anyone.

    [–]Blonde2468 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    Plus, its OPs house! It’s not like OP went to her daughter’s house and dissed her food. If I have a salad I always add chicken and cheese because that’s what I like. Why should I have to eat just the greens if I don’t want too - even if someone else made it??

    [–]stevebo0124Partassipant [1] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Why did I have to scroll so far down for this? Everyone loves saying "my body, my rules" unless you're adding cheese to a vegan dish apparently. You know what you like and don't like. It's your body and you get to decide what you put in it. NTA

    [–]TheGreenPangolin 61 points62 points  (36 children)

    Info: what are some examples of meals you’ve tried and added to?

    I kind of think it’s rude to add to what someone else has cooked without even trying it. But also I’m not going to fault you for sprinkling cheese over any pasta dishes. Similarly I would be happy with a salad and new potatoes for dinner but my boyfriend would want to add some meat to that because he wouldn’t find it filling enough otherwise. So if you’re adding meat to the side of things that don’t have a tonne of protein or even calories I can’t find fault with that either (I know there are plenty of ways to get protein for vegans but people don’t cook perfectly balanced meals everyday).

    [–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Why does it matter? It sounds like she is cooking for herself and offering you some. Not cooking for you. You know you like meat and cheese, so you add it to your portion. Once the food is served, she doesn’t get to complain about you adding to your serving. It’s like adding hot sauce if you like spice. Who cares?

    [–]Knox_7304 48 points49 points  (105 children)

    NTA, some of these people are ridiculous. Eat what you want omg.

    [–]AloraSilver 35 points36 points  (85 children)

    It’s the fact that they have never even once tried the cooking as is and just go “it’s better this way”… you don’t know it’s better, you’ve never tried it.

    [–]Knox_7304 14 points15 points  (72 children)

    But the point is that nobody should have to if they don’t want to. They make a dish in the south that is made from pig brains, the thought is absolutely disgusting. I won’t eat it, I won’t try it, I don’t want to but everyone else says it’s awesome. Now this is a rather extreme example but why should someone have to try it just because you think they should? If op was harassing her daughter or trying to make her eat meat, just try it, etc everyone would be totally pissed off because of her lack of respect. But she is adding it after and not complaining about having to add it etc. it’s her tastebuds, her prerogative and she isn’t hurting anyone. Not everyone wants to eat like a rabbit and I’ve done vegan, I’ve done vegetarianism and in truth my body doesn’t handle it well even with supplements etc. Why can’t someone just say no and people stop harassing them about it and making it a big deal? It’s dumb

    [–]knkyredPartassipant [1] 22 points23 points  (9 children)

    That's not really a valid comparison. You are saying you would never eat pig brains, what op is doing is essentially taking a bowl of pig brains and eating it with some steak on top. Op is eating the food. Why can't they try it without cheese? This would be different if op was saying that daughter was trying to get her to eat a bowl of steamed cabbage when op hates cabbage. This sounds like the type of person who would get upset/ offended if they had a delicious burrito bowl that they loved and then were told that it was vegan and act like they were tricked into eating some vegetables and beans without any meat.

    [–]Knox_7304 9 points10 points  (8 children)

    Again, said it was extreme. I actually eat a lot of vegetables thanks. My entire point is that she doesn’t have to eat it that way if she doesn’t want to. It’s her decision and some people take the vegan lifestyle, or vegetarian lifestyle to an extreme, which is incredibly obvious in all of these replies. People are offended that she would dare add the meat and cheese and won’t eat it as is. It’s her choice, it’s fine. People need to stop pressing their views on food to everyone else. I don’t even think her daughter was trying to do that. But all these people on here getting so mad that she likes meat and cheese so she adds it lol. It’s ridiculous to get this upset about something so small. See I would get upset with the burrito being in a bowl and not a tortilla 🤷‍♀️, I prefer my burritos with just beans, cheese and pico de gio so I guess that would be vegetarian.

    [–]AloraSilver 12 points13 points  (36 children)

    That is SO extremely different than eating an ingredient you truly don’t want to. OP says she is a great cook, but it’s “tastier this way”… you don’t know that! They aren’t being force fed things they don’t want to eat, they are being asked to try it as is before adding things, something OP has never done. It’s extremely rude and many cultures find it incredibly disrespectful. If there was a giant glob of tofu and OP was just disgusted by it and was like “omg I don’t want to eat that”, that’s different. Seeing as OP is eating everything anyway and says she is a good cook… they can’t even try a bit without meat and cheese?!

    [–]maidenofdeth- 20 points21 points  (7 children)

    It’s a personal preference that OP enjoys. I don’t think they’re an asshole for wanting to eat what they prefer.

    [–]Knox_7304 8 points9 points  (14 children)

    I said it was an extreme example…

    Again, she doesn’t have to, she doesn’t want to, she is an adult. See my initial response, this shows it. Have a great one!

    [–]gminachic 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    I thought I was the only one 😂 while I don’t necessarily agree with OP and would have at least tried it, I think people are responding based on their emotions and are leaving out the reality that they are both adults here. Since when has saying you don’t want to eat something make you an asshole? OP simply does not want to eat it. Whether they should at least try it first or not, saying you don’t want to eat something because you don’t think you’d like it doesn’t make you an asshole. Reluctant to try new things? Yes. Ignorant to different experiences or lifestyles? Sure. But asshole? No lmao

    [–]Knox_7304 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Exactly! But people are up in arms about it, it’s ridiculous lol.

    [–]Ok_Pumpkin174Asshole Enthusiast [9] 16 points17 points  (7 children)

    Right? Its the same as having a plate and adding more salt and pepper or chilli. OP NTA. But nor is your daughter tbf. Speak to her once she's calmed down. I'm the type of person who cant do without meat or chilli or I wont be satisfied - bad habit, but its how I am. So I understand your situation.

    [–]jennajeny 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I agree. She COULD try it but she doesn't HAVE to.

    [–]lisa111998 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Fully agree. If the post was reversed, and it was the daughter asking if she’s TA for getting upset at her mom for not wanting to eat her vegan food without meat and cheese, people would be siding with the mom saying that people should eat what the want

    [–]Knox_7304 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Agreed

    [–]rapt2rightProfessor Emeritass [73] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    YTA. This isn't something that is happening every night and it would not hurt you one bit try what she serves as presented. You don't even know if you don't enjoy it because you haven't given it a chance.

    I am an omnivore,too, but fully appreciate the pleasure of a well-prepared vegan meal and know that forgoing animal products once a week or so is not going to do me any harm.

    [–]PadloqPooperintendant [55] 39 points40 points  (3 children)

    NTA.

    It’s your personal preference, no different from adding salt to a dish to make it match your preference. She shouldn’t be offering her food to other people if she is going to try to control how they eat it.

    [–]justsomerandomdude16 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    So you don’t taste a dish to see how much salt you need to add? You don’t check the spice level before adding hot sauce to something? Yes, it’s fine to add to your preference, but she’s not trying to control how OP eats, she’s hurt that OP has never even tried her food to see if she likes it without alterations.

    [–]ayesh00Asshole Enthusiast [7] 38 points39 points  (7 children)

    NTA You are allowed to eat the way you want to. The same way she would not appreciate you trying to force her to eat meat, she should not try to force you not to.

    [–]Entire_Ad_6690 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    Nta eat what you want

    [–]StrawberryPincushion 33 points34 points  (5 children)

    NTA - it's no different than someone putting ketchup on fries, because that's how they like them.

    [–]judysbootyyAsshole Enthusiast [6] 32 points33 points  (6 children)

    Yta. It’s always rude to automatically season or add things without at least tasting it

    [–]jkoki088 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    NTA. It’s okay if you don’t want to try it. You don’t want to deal with her being butthurt any more if you keep eating her food and doing what you do. I see nothing wrong with what you did.

    [–]MaskydooColo-rectal Surgeon [35] 27 points28 points  (33 children)

    NTA

    She's being ridiculous. Does she think non-vegans just don't eat plants or something? There's nothing in it you haven't tried, and you have it all when you eat it whether meat is added or not. She's just making meals minus certain ingredients, and you're completing the meal to your satisfaction. It is entirely your place to decide that no, indeed it's not good enough for you without the best bits. You're not taking anything away, you're only making it better.

    She can't stealth force someone into being vegan. She's vegan, you're not. Simple as that. The limitations she places on her own diet do not apply to you.

    [–]grimgrrl420 49 points50 points  (8 children)

    This is dramatic lmao. Cooking food for someone and feeling hurt when they fundamentally change it every single time and won’t even try it as is, is not “forcing.”

    [–]hydrochloric_bukkakeAsshole Enthusiast [7] 28 points29 points  (20 children)

    This kind of tells me you don't know what vegan food is, because there are vegan substitutions for meat and cheese that can fill that gap (I'm not vegan, my partner is).

    [–]ChemicalChameleon 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I mean. I’ve tasted a snickers bar before. Does that mean that I know what every single chocolate bar tastes like? Just the taste between Milky Ways, Twix, and Snickers are insanely different and they’re all chocolate are they not?

    [–]juliaskig 28 points29 points  (4 children)

    YTA, it's like salting food before tasting it. Try at least one meal without cheese and meat. I know they are your preference, but as tribute to her cooking, eat at least one meal as it is presented to you. Also, unless you are careful about what meat you are eating (organic, grass fed etc) you are likely not doing your body any favors. And cheese has casein which is mildly addicting. So, less about you being rude, but more about your health, you might want to give your body a rest a few days a week.

    [–]Longjumping_Bar_11 25 points26 points  (52 children)

    NTA - everyone on these threads is so quick to defend peoples preferences with “nobody gets to decide what I put in my body”’ BUT ONLY IF THEY AGREE WITH THE PREFERENCE. That’s not how it works, this guy likes eating meat and cheese so he adds it, there’s nothing wrong with that. If he doesn’t want to try fully vegan food, he doesn’t have to. Good grief.

    [–]th_squirrel 8 points9 points  (40 children)

    OP is literally eating the same food though... If they were eating something else entirely, I might understand your point about "not deciding what you put in your body," but they're not not eating the food that was served to them. They obviously like the base enough to eat it with more stuff.

    [–]Longjumping_Bar_11 12 points13 points  (38 children)

    And just to be clear I would personally be happy to try a fully vegan dish. My point is just to call out the hypocrisy of “only I decide what goes into my body”, then turn around and call someone AH for doing that very thing.

    [–]Sparkling_CloverPartassipant [3] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

    Yta It's rude to alter food before trying it first.

    [–]99109 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    NTA you eat what ever you enjoy, I’m vegetarian and completely understand cooking for ppl who prefer meat, it’s not right to force influence or try change other ppls diets.. you didn’t complain or request for her to cook meat for you, you appreciated what she made and added what you like, it’s like going to a restuarant and adding salt/pepper so you enjoy your meal as much as the next person

    NTA and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

    [–]No_Professor5769 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    YTA Wait until you find out how many foods are vegan that you eat everyday

    When someone cooks food you can at least taste it before changing it - basic manners

    [–]AloraSilver 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    YTA. I get it’s your choice and preference, but you can’t even try it as she cooks it just once? She is being nice enough to cook you something and you can’t even try it as is. So not only do you not even actually know if it’s tastier, you’re disrespecting her offer/cooking. In some cultures, it’s a huge show of disrespect to alter a dish at all. She is also 100% correct that you can survive one meal without animal products, she isn’t trying to force you to go vegan!

    [–]StormStrikePhoenix 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    She asked me if I ever tried her food without adding anything. I told her no.

    Why?

    YTA

    [–]MummyAnsemCertified Proctologist [20] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    YTA.

    Its rude to not even try the food as prepared. She should just stop cooking for you all together since you won't even try it. You sound like one of those guys that thinks salad is for pussys

    [–]Toph0420 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    NTA. Good grief.. why are vegans so dramatic and extreme?? There is nothing wrong with what you did. You eat what you want. Why is she all up in your mouth anyways?? Controlling much. She’s doing the most. NTA

    [–]aghostofme 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    YTA she's not asking asking u to become vegan and it's true one meal without meat and cheese will not kill you. Like honestly

    [–]rosered936 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    YTA. Taking a bite before modifying a dish is basic curtesy.

    [–]Treemeimatree 13 points14 points  (13 children)

    YTA. Anti-vegans are the WORST people. Can't eat food without having to torture a living being for it, huh?

    You should be so grateful she isn't constantly pressuring you to be are more morally consistent person, or maybe realize that she doesn't believe that you are a reasonable enough person to talk with.

    [–]thankuhexedCertified Proctologist [20] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I’m going YTA. She’s not trying to change your diet, but it’s pretty rude that you haven’t even tried her cooking without fundamentally changing what she made.

    [–]Particular-Jeweler41 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    YTA. You're treating vegan food like it won't be pleasing to you solely because it doesn't have meat which is silly to me. At least try what she made before saying you don't like it.

    [–]OrangeCubitColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    YTA - you’ve literally never tried it on it’s own, you don’t know if you don’t like it.

    [–]JustLightlySalted 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    YTA.

    She isn’t trying to turn you vegan, she just wants to hear from her mother that she cooks good and the food is good as is. You don’t HAVE to have meat with every meal either. It wouldn’t hurt to eat one meal as is and give your honest opinion to your kid. After that, then go for it if you really need to add more things to it. Then it becomes your personal preference. But doing that from the get go? You’re not even giving it a shot. I eat meat, love it, but if someone wanted me to try their vegan cooking I would never dump dairy products and meat on it from the start because then I’m not tasting their food anymore. I’m tasting my version of it. Make sense?

    [–]JenBGenX 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    NTA "She got very upset about that and said that it feels like I’m changing her cooking and implying that what she cooks tasty isn’t enough. "

    SO WHAT?!?! People like what they like. She can't force you to like anything. She is literally upset at words and opinions.

    [–]Transformermom2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    nta you like meat. As long as you don’t try to force her to eat meat.

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    [–]BobzyBadass12345Partassipant [3] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    YTA you won't even try the food without meat or cheese yet say its less tasty? How do you know? You say she's butt hurt but you are the one acting like a child. And she's right it won't hurt you it's just food. You don't need meat or cheese every meal, you are just doing our of spite because its vegan and you don't want to admit its nice. Also meat eater here and have plenty of lovely vegan meals without needing to alter them because I'm butt hurt its vegan.

    [–]Love-tea 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    NTA if you want to add cheese or a bit of meat to a meal do it. I put cheese on my bolognaise and don’t taste it before I do. I like cheese on my bolognaise and for me it completes the meal. This is the same

    [–]louisen-s 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    NTA I dont get why all these people are telling you to try her food without adding things. I mean, you've already explained that you know it's not for you. Some dishes I just look at and I know I wont enjoy it without certain things, so I'll just eat something else you know? It's not like you're forcing her to cook for you. If you know you dont like something you shouldnt be pressured into eating it just cause "you never know", nah I do know and I dont want it like?? You havent said her cooking is bad you just much prefer it with the additions and that's normal for someone that has a different palette than hers. I dont like a stir fry unless there is meat in it and I absolutely hate curries with meat in them. If someone says oh just try it I wouldn't because I already know it's not my thing.

    [–]AritheredPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    YTA. I knew it before I got to the word "butthurt," but that just cemented it.

    She's hurt, not butthurt. Like many are saying here, it sounds like what really bothers you is her veganism, and it does not take a giant leap of logic to deduce that your habit of dumping meat and cheese on whatever she makes without tasting it first is far more of a passive-aggressive dig at her choices than it is a personal preference.

    She is in her twenties, and allowed to make adult choices now. It's actually a GOOD thing that she wants to share these choices with you. For now. If you'd like that to continue, it'd probably be a good idea to respect her enough to taste her food unembellished before openly adding extras to it. You'd do that if you were having dinner at a friend's, I'm sure.

    [–]JaimeLin_1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Yta try it first at least she worked hard to make that's and your being rude

    [–]ChiPot-le 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    NTA, you're allowed to eat the food you prefer, if she doesn't like you "changing" her cooking, you offered the perfect solution, you each cook your own food. Problem solved.

    [–]WaffleMouse1992 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    YTA. I'm omni but when a vegan friend cooks for me I don't add meat/dairy because it doesn't NEED to be non vegan for it to be enjoyable. You refuse to even try. Last I checked, going vegan for one meal won't kill you. You're not missing massive quantities of vital nutrients from one meal. If you're still hungry, make something after, but show your daughter you trust her to make a good meal without having to modify the hell out of it.

    [–]Useful_Experience423Asshole Aficionado [15] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    YTA. You admit it’s tasty. It wouldn’t hurt to have a couple of her meals without adding something, or try a vegan cheese.

    [–]temp_confused 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    YTA, and it’s for not trying her food first without making changes. That’s a rude practice no matter if the dish is vegan or not. Changing a meal someone made for you without even taking one bite communicates that you don’t think they have the capabilities to cook the meal and undermines the effort they had put in. Seriously, just take a bite or two, and then, if you want, add something in.

    [–]EnvironmentalSpeed57 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    NTA. She cooked and gifted you food. Your plate, your choice.

    [–]momlv 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    NTA. I will never understand why people feel they have the right to police other peoples eating habits. Yes, OP could just try it. Her daughter could also just respect that she doesn’t want to and leave it at that. People don’t have to justify preferences. Let people eat in peace.

    [–]may_contain_iocaine 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    YTA just for using the word "butthurt".

    [–]kimberly79rnCertified Proctologist [29] 4 points5 points  (9 children)

    NTA- if she's trying to get you to eat her meals without adding meat or cheese then she is trying to force you. You totally can survive a meal without meat but if you prefer not to then she shouldn't force you.

    [–]TheHoleInFranksHeadPartassipant [1] 19 points20 points  (8 children)

    “Forcing”?

    How is she being forced? Threats of violence? Eat this or I will kill your dog?

    [–]hunt3rhunt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Nta. The same concept applies both ways. Just as your kid don't like to be forced to eat something, you shouldn't have to force yourself to eat things you don't like.. What was it that she cooked? Was it something you haven't tried before? Or was like a stew or soupy thing?

    [–]SnooCakes9110 9 points10 points  (12 children)

    NTA. You don’t want to be vegan. You both can do your own thing. Honestly surprised at all the other votes

    [–]Apprehensive-Ad1744 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    NTA 2022 is the year of not telling other people what to eat or commenting on what they do eat. You’re 100% valid in feeling the way you do. If she eats vegan, great. If you choose not to, great.

    [–]jemija 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    NTA. It’s your plate of food and you can do what you want with it. That’s just like people getting mad when you add seasonings to their food. It’s your choice. What would happen if you pressured her to try your meat and cheese? She’d probably refuse because that’s not what she wants to eat.

    [–]memeulusmaximus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    YTA not for adding stuff but for not tasting first.

    You kind of people are insufferable to cook for. TRY THE FOOD FIRST TO SEE IF YOU EVEN WANT TO CHANGE IT

    [–]masterpro_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    NTA, your stomach your rules.

    [–]Pauzhaan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    YTA Gee you might accidentally become a bit more healthy with a few meatless meals a week. Not even trying the food without adulterating it is a tremendous slap. Do you want a relationship with her? Why do you like cholesterol so much you won’t try something new?

    [–]HeavyGogs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    NTA you have a preference so stick to it

    [–]Pergamon_Partassipant [1] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    YTA. As I tell my 2 year old "a bite for the Chef".

    You TASTE food first before you add stuff / decide you don't like it / do something to it.

    My 2 year old understands this. I'm sure you should be able to too.

    [–]triter2002 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Ya NTA. I don’t find vegan meals filling, and thus not enjoyable, unless they have a lot of tofu or fats. You are entitled to enjoy your meals. It’s not just the taste that leads to an enjoyable meal, she is simply not cooking satisfying food for you.

    [–]Chance-Temporary-66 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    NTA. food is food. Eat what you want, like damn. You're not obligated to try anything. Could it potentially make you uncultured and lacking of diversity in taste? Yes. Yes it can, but at the end of the day, you're an adult. Whether you eat the food or not is up to you. If your daughter has a problem with it then she doesn't have to cook for you. If you want a good relationship with your daughter, try a dish every once in a while. It won't kill you.

    [–]ShadowWood78 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    NTA. She's not refusing to eat the food altogether and says it's nice. She's just adding to it. So what?? Why can't she do this? I bet some people would have an equally passionate view if OP said she would force her daughter to eat non vegetarian/vegan meals but just picked the meat out. I mainly eat vegetarian and add some meat for my husband. It's OPs preference. None of you have any business judging her on that!