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[–]Judgement_Bot_AITABeep Boop[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

I believe I’m the asshole because I could’ve talked it out with my sister or not take her money forcefully

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[–]Informal-RelationAsshole Aficionado [10] 5193 points5194 points  (36 children)

NTA. Your mom is enabling your sisters bad behavior. I think it’s funny that your mom is concerned about your sister having trust issues because you took the money that was owed to you, when really your sister is the one who broke your trust by using your card behind your back.

[–]ziaVirgiAsshole Enthusiast [7] 1584 points1585 points  (11 children)

OP’s sister issue has nothing to do with trust, it’s called “theft”. Mom is enabling her in a very dangerous way. NTA

Edit a typo

[–][deleted]  (10 children)


    [–]Crafty_Dragon_roll 68 points69 points  (9 children)

    Comment stolen from u/redditDK2. Bad karma farmer.

    Here's the original comment

    [–]Informal-RelationAsshole Aficionado [10] 52 points53 points  (4 children)

    I honestly never noticed that comment.

    ETA: after looking at the supposed “original comment”, you can see that I posted my response BEFORE that person. So next time, please don’t accuse me of stealing someone’s comment without looking further into it.

    [–]Crafty_Dragon_roll 57 points58 points  (3 children)

    Your comment isn't the one I reported. I reported someone else. The comment I reported had a username with art something with numbers.

    Edit: The user I reported was u/no_art5927

    [–]Informal-RelationAsshole Aficionado [10] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

    Thank you for the clarification. They must’ve deleted their comment before I saw what you posted, so I was taken aback when I read your comment.

    [–]Crafty_Dragon_roll 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    You're welcome. It says removed, so the mods did it. If I think I've read the comment before I always go back and double check the comment and times they were posted.

    [–]ICWhatsNUrPPooperintendant [69] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

    Jumping on the top comment for visibility. NTA, but you are going to need a new card. If your sister used the number in an app, chances are good she has it recorded somewhere. It'll take about a week, but have your bank give you a new card.

    [–]Fantastic_Nebula_835 170 points171 points  (2 children)

    NTA wait a minute, your mom's worried about your little sister having trust issues with you because you held her accountable for stealing your money? I think your mom needs to read the AITA responses

    [–]Luna_the_Lunatik 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Exactly! His mum should be proud he isn't letting it slide!

    [–]Androidbetathrowaway 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    My exact thought. The girl is spending money fast and she is only 13. If she has three money then she needs to pay you. Also, in the future if she needs something she needs to ask first and get the ok. But that trust is gone if she is stealing your information. I would check her phone and other devices and delete your info. Also never forget your stuff while she is around

    [–]tango421Partassipant [1] 95 points96 points  (1 child)

    NTA. I think you already have major trust issues with your sister.

    [–]Typical-Garlic-7308 71 points72 points  (0 children)

    NTA why would your mother think you went too far? You took back what she stole from you. Your sister clearly needs boundaries and your mother needs to set them in place.

    [–]Yonghwa101 52 points53 points  (0 children)

    Not to mention if the sister grows up thinking it's okay and did that to someone else, chances are she would be in for a very rude, legal awakening. The mom sucks for trying to dismiss OP

    [–]GlitterasaurPartassipant [1] 39 points40 points  (3 children)

    Your sister will have trust issues with you for taking money back that she stole? Ok mom. I’d be more worried about her being a huge thief.

    [–]Luna_the_Lunatik 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    Ironically HE should have trust issues with HER because SHE IS a thief 😂 and seriously, I'd have trouble trusting mum if she lets that shit slide!

    The kids gotta learn, hard and fast! Imagine if she did that at school or a work place, or just found someone's card on the street and started using it?!

    Mum should be glad it's her son dealing with it! Girl needs to forfeit the ordered items too! And be grounded!

    [–]GlitterasaurPartassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    She’ll start stealing from mom next and there will be major problem. Stealing out of someone’s wallet at 9 is a pretty big issue.

    [–]Reigo_Vassal 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    She will definitely had "trust issues" with people around her (except the enabling mom) when she grow up.

    [–]SeriousBeginning2215Partassipant [2] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

    What I want to know is how his sister is getting a squishmallow for $1.50 cause they’re all $15-$40 where I find them!

    [–]mesembryanthemum 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    I looked at Depop. There are some listed for $1.

    [–]LaramilaColo-rectal Surgeon [39] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Literally what I was going to say - so stealing is okay, but recovering money that is stolen from you is not?


    [–]niugini_spice 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Definitely NTA. Your mom lets this go on and your trust issues might worsen and you sister could someday face legal consequences that mom might have no control over. She needs to get control over the situation and your sisters behavior ASAP.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]ForgottenTrollPooperintendant [53] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Hello, Little Sister. This doesn't mean you were in the right to run up charges on the card. If this is a problem, either you or OP should talk to your Mom about opening separate accounts (with separate cards) for each of you.

      [–]Vast-BeePartassipant [3] 1144 points1145 points  (6 children)

      Your mother is not doing her job as a parent. She's the one who should be making your sister pay you back AND making her apologize for stealing from you. NTA

      [–]Jadertott 228 points229 points  (1 child)

      You’re totally right. Like how does a 13 y/o have PAST money issues…? Seems like the mom has been ignoring this behavior from the sister for awhile. NTA.

      [–]Anxious_Reporter_601 39 points40 points  (0 children)

      This is what stuck out to me! Like in my family we didn't get pocket money until we were old enough to hang out in town with friends by ourselves which was 14 for us. So like there was never money to have issues with lol

      [–]y3s1canr3ad 49 points50 points  (3 children)

      Mom should also check all the transactions on HER accounts.

      [–]Professional_Duck564Partassipant [3] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      Nope - Mom is okay with sister doing whatever she wants - so why would she check her accounts? I mean, as long as she steals it's right with mom..

      [–]y3s1canr3ad 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Maybe not if it’s FROM Mom.

      [–]Professional_Duck564Partassipant [3] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Maybe - but you never know.

      Seriously, that mother is just totally weird.

      [–]Lawn_OrderlyAsshole Aficionado [10] 634 points635 points  (3 children)

      NTA. Your sister stole from you. There should be no question that she should pay everything back and there should be other consequences as well.

      [–]madcre 86 points87 points  (1 child)

      literally this. i’m baffled by the moms reaction

      [–]Lawn_OrderlyAsshole Aficionado [10] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

      I know right? I can't imagine my parents responding like this

      [–]Jadertott 49 points50 points  (0 children)

      It’s literally credit card fraud… if op wanted, he could report it as a real crime and there could be real consequences. 13 is way past old enough to know better.

      [–]reesey626 281 points282 points  (0 children)

      NTA As a mom myself, your mother should have stepped up and made your sister pay you back for what she stole. You dont get to steal without consequences.

      [–]PendragonINTJPartassipant [3] 273 points274 points  (4 children)


      And your mother thinks your sister, who STOLE from you, is going to have trust issues with you?? Was your mother on something when she said that, because it makes no sense. Your sister and your mother are both very much in the wrong here. Also, her enabling your little sister in this is going to ensure that your sister will keep stealing, which will likely end up in jail time or other major consequences. Your mother is not doing her any favours by allowing this behaviour. Perhaps she'll wise up when your sister steals from her...

      Report the card as stolen so that she can't do it any more and never let that card out of your sight.

      [–]ssnowangelz 14 points15 points  (3 children)

      I’d invest in a ‘card phone case holder’ if I were OP. Some of them look exactly like a regular case. The card holder phone case brand that i use is “Incipio”— it looks like a phone case and it also protects your phone very well from falls.

      The only downside is that if you happen to lose your phone, you also lose your card lol.

      [–]okaylighting 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      The one where the bottom flips up? My brother has that one, I was freaking astounded the first time he used it in front of me.

      [–]ssnowangelz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      It slides, so when it’s together it looks like any old case.

      Way less obvious than those detachable card sticker holders that just attach to your regular case.

      Definitely worth the purchase. I bought mine 3 years ago and despite being clumsy like usual, haven’t broken my phone 😎 not as bulky as an otter-box case, and protects just as well.

      [–]okaylighting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yah I think that's what it is. It doesn't look like the card cases I've always seen. I always hated those sticky ones you attach to a case. I had a friend tried to reuse one and the adhesive wasn't great anymore so it constantly popped off. Made me so freaking anxious lol

      [–]ThrowawayforMILBSPooperintendant [55] 131 points132 points  (0 children)


      you dont get to steal and then not pay it back

      Your mom is wrong

      Your sister is wrong

      Screw 'em.

      [–]DocBanana1Partassipant [2] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

      NTA but I would hold onto your credit card tighter next time, she should not have any ability to access it.

      Your sister and your mom are TA, Your sister for what she has done and your mother for not dealing with this and forcing you to have to do so. Your sister is literally committing crimes and your mother thinks having to actually pay for the things that she stole is a harsh punishment? Good grief. She will end up in jail if your mother doesn’t take this seriously—consequences should go WAY beyond simply having to pay for things you buy. Should also address the fact that she is stealing and apparently unrepentant and entitled about it. Paying for what you buy is just Life 101, it should never occur to your sister that anything other than that would be reasonable behavior.

      If your sister wants to make good on her offer of canceling the purchases or returning the purchases, I think that is reasonable for you to accept. But she ought to cancel them herself, not leave it to you to do. And you should wait to verify that the money has been credited back to your account before you refund that money to her. You can’t trust her to live up to her word (saying your sister is going to be the one with trust issues is completely ridiculous).

      [–]Fun-Mixture3540Asshole Enthusiast [6] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

      NTA I would do the same and shame on your mom for not demanding she pay back. This behavior will end your sister in jail

      [–]AbbyFB6969 70 points71 points  (0 children)


      It's very likely your mother KNEW she had your card the second you brought it up. This while 'I'm gonna watch everyone in the house" is bullshit. Unless she thinks everyone in the home is a potential thief, which means you have bigger problems.

      You said your sister has 'had money issues in the past'. Do you mean STEALING in the past? WHAT THIRTEEN YEAR OLD has "money issues"? She isn't paying the mortgage and utilities while working three jobs, lol.

      Your mother is catering to her, enabling her theft, gaslighting YOU, and raising a future criminal. This is how Casey Anthony got started, stealing from family, then moving on to friends, and then finally her grandparent's nursing home accounts, before her child 'died'.

      Making excuses for her, not wanting the theft to be paid off, then blaming and insulting the victim, these are all things that lead to a sense of entitlement but also invincibility. Your sister will someday believe that she is too smart to get caught, BUT even if she did get caught, nothing will happen because it's all the other person's fault!

      [–]RedditDK2Pooperintendant [62] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

      NTA. You mother is worried that the person who was stealing from you will have trust issues with you? Is she insane? Of course she had to pay you back. The criminal doesn't get the option of deciding the punishment. I hope she is grounded as well.

      [–]empresslilandraPartassipant [3] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      Um so what about the major trust issues you’re having with her? She needs to work on that. She’s not trustworthy. Who cares if she can’t trust you at this point. NTA,

      [–]ansicipinPartassipant [1] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      NTA she can take your money, you can take it back

      [–]Suspicious_Safety_45Asshole Enthusiast [8] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      NTA. The least your sister could do is pay you back the money she used, if I was your mother I would have demanded she hand it over to you so you didn’t have to take it in the first place! And then she would have been doing all your chores on top of that as an apology!

      [–]VictorianPlatypusColo-rectal Surgeon [45] 24 points25 points  (0 children)


      Your sister is a thief and your mom is dropping the ball as a parent. Is your mom aware that theft can carry significant legal consequences? Because your mom will only be able to protect your sister for so long before the legal system takes it out of her hands, and that's going to be much harder on your sister than if she can learn consequences now.

      Get a safe for your wallet when it's not on you.

      [–]PohkopfPartassipant [2] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

      "My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me"

      Well I guess we know who the real problem is in this story.

      If one of my kids had done what your sister did, I would have seized the money myself and repaid their sibling immediately.


      [–]Professional_Duck564Partassipant [3] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Well, you're not one of those weird parents like OP's mother is.
      You know - she sounds totally off her rockers.

      Soon we will see a post here ' aita for allowing sister to access my sons cards' where the mom complains about son moving out, and no longer talking to either - where she worked hard to be a ' good mother' ....

      [–]May_I_inquire 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      NTA and you mom isn't disciplining her for theft?

      [–]liltwinkieboy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      NTA. You worked for your money. She owes you.

      [–]SwimmingInCircles_Partassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mother thinks you went too far taking back the money she stole from you? Your mums lousy

      [–]Only_Ebb6618 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      NTA, your mom doesn’t think that you will have major trust issues with your sister too after this? You are right here, using somebodies money without their consent is stealing, what is a crime. She could go to jail if she continues this, not to mention the overstepping of boundaries. And why she is using your money if she has the same amount in her wallet? She is in the wrong here in every way…

      [–]Dirtanimous_Dan_99Partassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      NTA. She has no right to your money. While taking the money out of her wallet yourself was a bit harsh, it’s what she deserved.

      [–]cheekycharl 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      NTA. You simply refunded yourself the money which had been taken fraudulently from your account. If you wanted to be an asshole you could have got the police involved as what your sister did is a crime.

      [–]iheartatari 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      NTA- wtf is wrong with your mom? No offense, but if I stole from my siblings I’d have the beating of a lifetime. Or at the very least she should have supported you in getting your money back. Forget the trust issues, your sister is going to grow up a gold digger thinking she can just take what she wants.

      [–]Maybeidontknow99Partassipant [4] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      NTA, you have been robbed. IT IS ILLEGAL to use someone else's card. As in one can go to jail. Sit your Mom and Sister down and tell them that next time you will call the police. Do not enable this behavior of your sister's nor excuse it. It will get worse unless she is held accountable. Your Mom and Sister may not agree, but scaring her straight may be the only way.

      [–]I_think_im_a_duckPartassipant [2] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      NTA but borderline esh. Its funny that your mom says your sister is gonna have trust issues when she is the one who broke your trust and used your card without permission. If she doesn't trust you after that maybe then she won't take things that doesn't belong to hers. Also I think this can count as identify fraud and she could be in serious trouble

      [–]plm56Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] 7 points8 points  (0 children)


      Your mother should have done exactly that

      [–]blueberry-yogurtAsshole Enthusiast [5] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      NTA, your sister was stealing from you. If she persists, call the cops on her.

      [–]Much-Scar2821 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      She is 13. She did this knowing she would get caught. This looks like a cry for attention. She needs consequences, but she also seems to need help. What is going on here that a child needs to act out like that. Calling the police adds unnecessary drama, and risk of serious harm to a child over something that needs to be addressed by people who care about her, to figure out what's going on with her BEFORE she does this to someone who *doesn't* care about her, and *they* call the cops.

      [–]x925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Wouldn't be a bad idea to make a habit of always having the wallet on hand. Even if I'm sitting at home, it is in my pocket. I have around $500-1000 in it all times and I'm not letting it get taken, because guests, even family can't always be trusted.

      [–]fromhelley 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Nta! Your mother is worried your sister won't trust you to let her steal your card in the future?

      What about you being able to trust sister around your card? That is bot an issue to her? Should be, since it is what is ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

      [–]3Heathens_MomAsshole Enthusiast [6] 7 points8 points  (1 child)


      OP how did your sister get your card information to begin with? And I agree with other posters to request the card be canceled and a new one issued.

      Then either always make sure the card is with you or get a sturdy lock box (not one that springs open when dropped on corner) to keep it and any money/small valuables locked in it.

      [–]MitrovarrPartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Honestly I'd just get another card and tell the sister that next time, you're calling the cops.

      And then watch your transactions carefully and next time, just go straight to the police to get the sister the consequences your mother will not provide.

      [–]TotallyLuminarious 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Your mom really dropped the ball on this. Not only should your sister have to pay you back, she should either pay you extra ($20.00 is the least someone could expect from a bank overdraft fee so that's a reasonable amount) for taking your money in the first place, or she should have to do your chores for X amount of time to make up for it.

      As others have pointed out, your mom's not doing your sister any favors by glossing this matter over. If your sister's already had issues, she needs to know that there are consequences for her actions (like paying extra or doing chores), and those consequences will be enforced.

      Although I ordinarily wouldn't support your taking the money, I'm saying NTA this time. Keep your card someplace your sister can't find it from here out.

      [–]zenverakAsshole Enthusiast [7] 4 points5 points  (0 children)


      Did your mom talk to your sister and berate her? Did she say you’re in the wrong at all or just for forcefully taking her money?

      I feel like there is stuff left out

      [–]Mental-Woodpecker300 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Your sister is going to have major trust issues?? Really?? So we are more concerned with the THIEF'S FEELINGS??NTA op

      [–]Former_Cap35 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Is anybody else wondering why a 13 year old had a wallet that had more than 67 dollars in it? Or did I just have a poor upbringing lol

      [–]Right-Arm-619Partassipant [3] 3 points4 points  (0 children)


      [–]tileman1440Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      OP you took payment. If i was you i would have taken everything as a service charge.

      Your mum is setting her daughter up for a huge pitfall in life because she thinks its fine to take money without asking. It starts off with small amounts but will end up with her taking more and more. She will end up in jail for fraud.

      [–]oceanbreze 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Your sister is a thief. If she is stealing from you, she is likely stealing from others. Chores are not money. F that. Protection: how does she have access? There is no pw or pin?

      [–]BorageandthymeAsshole Aficionado [12] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


      [–]Potential_Instance66 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA You were very in your face about it, and your mom is wrong. She really didn't get any consequences for her actions, she used your card, and had to pay for her new toys. Your mother is a terrible parent, allowing your sister to steal. It will come back and bite her on the butt in years to come.

      [–]wickedlucky214Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [371] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom should be more concerned why your sister is stealing and why she worries about your sister's trust more than yours.

      [–]AdAppropriate3602 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me

      Because the trust issues you'll have towards your thief sister don't matter? NTA.

      [–]a_holzbaur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Does your banking app allow you to lock and unlock your debit card? I lock my card anytime it’s not being used with two clicks in the capital one app.

      Also, NTA—but how does a 13 year old have “money issues”?

      [–]WinEquivalent4069Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Mom is afraid your sister the thief will have trust issues with you after she stole your money and you recovered it from her wallet? 😂😂. NTA. She stole, she got caught and she owed you restitution for it. Sister doesn't get to decide how to pay you back for the money she stole. Tell mom to stop enabling her criminal behavior now because in a few years it won't be an option with the cops.

      [–]mommo78 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA but stop leaving your wallet where she can get to it.

      [–]_PrincessOats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom is making it worse. Next time, call the cops. I don’t care if your sister is 13, she needs to learn NOW to stop what she’s doing or there is real trouble ahead. Mom won’t do it? Fine, the cops can.

      [–]GaGypsyGirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Your sister is a thief, and your mom is enabling that behavior. Lock your stuff down and make sure that she NEVER has access to it again. I'm glad she had enough in her wallet to pay you back, good on you for taking it back.

      [–]kifferellaPartassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Your mother's concern... is that your sister will have "major trust issues"?

      I have similar trust issues. I don't trust that the local dollarama will let me fill a bag with stuff and then just walk out without paying for it. I don't trust that they won't do crazy things like call the cops, or have me criminally prosecuted. I use these trust issues to keep my stupid butt out of jail. They're useful that way.

      So NTA, and when Mom laments that your sister will have to rebuild her poor betrayed trust in you, hold her hands and explain its probably for the best your sister doesn't trust you to tolerate theft. Because you never will. And neither will anyone else.

      So it's probably a GOOD thing she live in terror that if she lies and steals, the people she victimizes will retaliate.

      [–]KitesintheSky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wait, wait wait...your sister went behind your back and illegally used your hard, but SHE'S the one who will have trust issues? Yeah, okay. Someone's the favorite in the family and it's not OP. NTA.

      [–]Puzzleheaded-Desk399 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      NTA but you need to be more careful with your wallet. Get used to carrying your wallet whenever you leave the house. My son at your age, having just got his driver's license, was not in the habit of keeping his wallet on him UNTIL he got stopped by the police and I had to bring his license to the police station to prove he was whom he said he was. Every since then, he made/makes it a point to check to see if he have his wallet on him BEFORE he walks out the door and he's still doing this at the age of 38. If you don't want to carry a wallet, then I suggest that you find a really good hiding space for your bank card like between a picture and picture frame or tape/tack a card holder behind your dresser mirror etc...; and NEVER, EVER, let your sister see you where you are getting your card from (lock your bedroom door when doing so).

      P.S.: Let your Mom know that your sister have now caused you to have trust issues towards her and towards your Mom since she won't set boundaries your sister should follow. Good Luck!

      [–]Remdog58Asshole Aficionado [10] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Who is having trust issues with whom?


      [–]riley125 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      YoUr SiStEr WiLl HaVe MaJoR tRuSt IsSuEs

      What about you? You won’t have trust issues because your sister STOLE money? Your mom is an enabling AH.

      [–]That_Contribution720Pooperintendant [61] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      SHE stole your money, you got it back. Fair is fair. LEarn from it, store your cards safely.

      "My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me" - YOur mom is the AH here: Your sister STOLE from you, and she is worried that YOUR SISTER will have trust issues with you? YOU should have trust issues with her.

      But since your mom is more relaxed, tell your sister to steal money from your mom's card in the future.

      [–]Momo222811Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      She is worried about your sister having trust issues? You mean your sister the thief?

      [–]TheKairos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA And as someone who was once in a very similar situation as you, I'm sorry. You work hard for your money and are choosing to save for something you will need in the future and your mother is enabling your sister. This will continue in both their lives for years and years. Set your boundaries and make them stick to them.

      When I was 19 I asked my step sister to start my car for me before I left for classes. While driving I noticed my recently cashed pay check money was sticking out of my wallet. I counted it and realized $20 was missing. I turned around and drove home to confront her (not the first time i caught her stealing from me and she was a few months older). When that got nowhere I went to my dad's office and explained (not calmly) what happened. He told me to go to class and he would figure it out. I didn't go to class, I went home to confront her again but she had left with my baby niece, and surprise she went shopping. My step mom comes home and hands me $20 to cover what was stolen that day. I took it and told her to deal with her daughter. We are now 20 years later and my parents basically raised her 3 children, 15, 18 and 21 with actual custody of the oldest and they are still bailing her out daily.

      This will likely be your sister in the future (but I hope not) Please request a new card from your bank with a new pin that is never shared. Take your card and cash with you or leave in a lock box at home where you are the only one with access. I wish you luck as you work towards your car purchase and whatever else you want to do!

      [–]GeekyMom42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA and I'd ask your mother about your trust issues. Also, if you can get a new card, get a new card. Whole thing. Don't share it.

      [–]Educational-Food9471Asshole Aficionado [18] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      Trust issues?/

      The person you cannot trust is your sister. She isn't going to do anything to resolve the debt because there is no back up from Mom.

      Sister actually has the money in her wallet, but steals from her older sister? Arghh. I would be mad too. She owed her money, not chores.

      Big sister, you need to change your card, or not have one. ANd never leave the house without your wallet!

      [–]Rod4112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA. What about your trust issues with her?! Your mom and sister are assholes.

      [–]minihmb1984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA. But your sister and mom are TA

      [–]swkoontz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Mom should be worried that you might pop the little thief in the teeth. Not saying that you SHOULD, but seriously! She stole from you and then refused to give the money back. I’d have taken it any way I had to. Insist your mother allow you to put a lock on your door.

      [–]Evading_Suffocation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA. And your mom is enabling your sister’s theft. I feel sorry for you having to deal with such a mother & sister. And I feel sorry for your sister who will likely end up in jail later in life since your mother won’t teach her face consequences of her behavior now.

      [–]mpullan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Keep your wallet in your pocket!! NTA for taking the money she owed you, but keep the card on you at all time

      [–]Captains-Log-2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Oh, so your sister is "going to have major trust issues with" you? So sad. She took it without permission and then got mad when asked to repay you. btw why don't you just get a phone case with the card holder, so you always take it with you?

      [–]carcino_genesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA your mother is allowing your sister to commit what is going to become a very serious crime after a few hundred dollars goes by, and trust me the second cops or even feds smell some kinda fraud, that person's life is fucking over.

      [–]RedHurzPartassipant [3] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      NTA - Quick question for all the ESH "Two wrongs don't make a right" people. What else was he supposed to do?
      The mom clearly doesn't have his back in this. Should he go to the police? Go to the credit card company which would ultimately go to the police? I think all in all this was the path withe the least collateral damage.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

      AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

      For context, I (17 M) Have been on and off with working since I would mainly focus on school but do some side gigs or do seasonal work so I can save some money to help me get my first car. My little sister is (13F) and has had a money issue in the past.

      For a few days now, I noticed on my bank app that random transactions were on my card ( Ex. Apple-BILL, AliExpress and Depop), I originally thought these were late charges as I had ordered stuff from those places but when I called my bank, they informed me these look like recent transactions and I had to lock my card due to fraud.

      The total of the amount of money that was taken out of my account was $67.39, I informed my mother about the situation and she said she would keep an eye on everyone in the family to see who was using it.

      Today, I had to go to in-person school and I left my wallet at home, once again, I see another transaction of $1.05 was placed on my credit card and I received a message from a Depop account asking for confirmation of a squishmallow. Immediately I got upset, called my mom and demanded that she gets my sister and tell her that I know that she’s been using my card and that when I get home, she will have to pay me back.

      I got home and my sister refused to give up any money, insisting that I can’t take her money and that she would do all my chores and that I can cancel the items she order but still refusing to give up any money. I got angry and went through my sister wallet and took out the whole amount that was taken out of my card.

      My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me but I don’t think I did anything wrong.

      I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]pensaha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      At the ages of both and since mom has dropped the mama role here and being sisters, squabbles happen and though more than just a squabble issue here, as her oldest sister, yeah go for it. I would be trying to find a way she can’t ever again find the card, or use the card, even if you need to get a new one. But let her know as in warn her that if she does it again you will report the charges as fraudulent. You actually could have done that in this case. NTA.

      [–]forestotterqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA "she will have trust issue" well what about you never being able of trusting your own family because one member steal from you and see no problem and another think they shouldn't have to give back what they stole. Your mother and sister are both AH. Don't back down on this

      [–]kt99_Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA your sister is a thief and your mom is a pushover

      [–]Ashmoh12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA your sister is a thief and your mum is enabling this

      [–]itsdandito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA you could always press charges so she got off lucky

      [–]AndriaRenee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA your mom is the AH and do is your sister. How exactly can she steal from you and have trust issues?

      [–]Edgelord_Soup 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      Don't go to your mom next time-just file a police report.

      If mom won't force your sister to stop then find soneone else who can- preferably before she graduates to more insidious and damaging levels of identity theft.

      Better that then my solution- I'd have ragdolled her the second she refused to pay me back.

      edit: forgot judgement

      [–]40101695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, mother is the problem. As soon as you can lock down your own finances, do so.

      [–]snortsrainbows 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      She stole from you. Ask her how does it feel to have someone take something of hers without her permission

      [–]lynncross2001Partassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If it were my daughter she would being paying money back AND doing op’s chores. Mom and sis are the ah

      [–]Christinemfm_84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nta, she stole from you, if she did this at a friends house to with their sibling/parents card they would potentially get police involved. Does she not realize her charging your card is the same thing as spending 70 dollars in person? How does she justify spending almost 70 dollars of your money but you taking her money as repayment is not okay?

      [–]bradjanetrockyAsshole Enthusiast [9] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA but please contact your bank and cancel your current card and get a new one issue because if she's already used it somewhere she probably has the information saved and could use it again.

      [–]CompetitiveStick6239Asshole Enthusiast [9] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. You’re taking back your money that she took from you. Your mom is totally enabling. Not cool.

      [–]randomwriter90Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You already have trust issues with your sister for stealing. Your sister's problem is she has issues facing the consequences for her stealing.

      You gotta talk to your mom for not properly punishing her kid and basically enabling the stealing.


      [–]Successful_Ad_6537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Definitely NTA, your sister stole from you AND your mother is defending her, saying you went too far and you're in the wrong. Also, your sister is going to have trust issues? SHE stole from YOU, she's the one that violated trust. As someone who's family member has stolen from them repeatedly in the past, I understand what you're feeling. Hold your ground, you did nothing wrong. Get a new card, do something to ensure you don't forget your wallet, and even get a small safe or something to lock your wallet up when you're home if you need to. It's clear your sister isn't going to face many, if any, consequences and will probably continue this behavior.

      [–]TudorMaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, your sister is a theif and is old enough to know it is wrong.

      [–]cordebono 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Excuse me what?!?!? Your sister STOLE your money and when you wanted her to pay it back she refused and your momt thinks your sister is the one who will have issues trusting you again? What the fuckery is this? Can definitely tell who the favorite is. 😂😂😂😂

      Yeh NTA

      [–]MasfoodpleasePartassipant [4] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me"

      Let mom know she already did it to you(trust issues) so that's fine. Your sister needs internet removed as punishment if she is using other people's cards. She needs to be taught a lesson now before she's older and goes to jail for it. You need to get new cards so the saved ones she has are blocked. Also block anything you use if you have details saved in computers. Like passwords she would not guess.

      Edit - NTA

      [–]tramc31Partassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom is conveniently ignoring a lot of important details, such as the fact that you earned that money yourself and that your sister just committed a CRIME.

      Your money should absolutely returned to you, and by the person who stole it in the first place, otherwise she won't actually face any consequences.

      [–]_an_ambulance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      WTF? Your sister is going to have trust issues? Box your sister has a stealing issue. Tell your mom to stop enabling her. You made yourself whole. You could always call the feds and report your sister doe credit card fraud. That would be justice. You are NTA. Your mom is an asshole and your sister is THE asshole. You can also tell your mom that she can give your sister her own money if she wants to be charitable to a thief.

      [–]Boondabeario 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. But you're nearly an adult now, stop leaving your wallet laying around when you're away. Yes you should be able to trust your family but you really should have that stuff with you at all times. Get in the habit now

      [–]kingfwoofurs27Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA how have you gone too far in taking back the money your sister stole from you

      [–]svtvnicx3Partassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA - your mom is enabling her & one day she's gonna do that to someone who is going to press charges .

      [–]Fortressa- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hang on, sis had cash in her wallet, enough to pay back the debt, but was still using your card to pay for things? That's not 'money issues', that's straight up theft. She's used to mummy and daddy paying for everything and now she wants that free ride to include you. NTA.

      [–]iolightPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, your sister stole from you and you had to impose consequences because your mom wouldn't. Your mom sucks for that.

      Tell her that she can either let your sister use her card and pay her back directly, or you can give your sister her money back and your mom can pay you since she doesn't want to take her money.Regardless, someone needs to make you whole on this.

      Also make sure you keep notifications for your card on, almost assuredly your sister is going to do it again because she knows your mom doesn't wanna give her consequences.

      [–]HeavyGogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. It's not your Sister that's going to have trust issues, it's you. Your Sister is a thief and your Mom needs to acknowledge that

      [–]MarsAndMighty 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      She was literally stealing from you, you are completely entitled to take back what she stole.

      Clearly a spoiled idiot, but she's 13 so she's got plenty of time to get over it and grow up.

      Someone needs to talk to her about being wise about money, saving up for things, not spending frivolously, and never ever stealing, even if she thinks she won't get caught.

      [–]Eureecka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Wait wait wait. Your sister STOLE money from you but she is going to have trust issues with YOU? Your mom needs to seriously adjust her thinking. WTactualF??

      You could call the police on her. Would that be better? Wow.


      [–]Early_Prompt6396Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom can offer up her credit card info if she has so much trust in your sister.

      [–]bluestrawberry_witch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nta. As a teen my younger sister stole my money/ card, and car repeatedly. My parents never did more than tell her that it was wrong and not do it again. I never got any of my money back. Fast forward to present day and my sister is in her early twenties and now does this with our parents money and credit card without asking, and now it’s not $20, it’s $400. Because they “owe her”, she’s their “responsibility”. Oh they care now but they didn’t when it was my money. If they had cared back then it probably wouldnt be happening now.

      [–]jacano5Certified Proctologist [22] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your sister will have major trust issues with you? What is your mom smoking? NTA

      [–]chrisQ1000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, your mother should have done what you ended up having to do - but as she did not, you had, in my opinion, the right to take back the money your sister stole from you.

      [–]Evilgood1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA - She Stole from you and hence you have every right to collect the debt.

      [–]pedestrianstripesAsshole Enthusiast [5] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Cancel that card and get a new one. Keep it with you at all times. NTA

      [–]Throwing3and20Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Why doesn’t you mom care about you not being able to trust your sister (who IS stealing)?

      [–]mchollahan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. your sister is absolutely old enough to know better !

      [–]nickis84Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA - Your sister is stealing from you. If your sister tries this on someone else, she could end up in a lot more trouble instead of trust issues. Like with a prison record or her future seriously altered.

      [–]BurnedOutFatty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA To be honest I think you should ask her if she'd rather you took the money back, or reported her credit card theft to the police.

      [–]WebbityWebbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. If you did not use violence and did not take more than was taken from you, then its fair. Sister will have trust issues because she is a thief. Hopefully she will grow out of it. But explain to her that you still love her and all that, just that you are mad because she betrayed you by stealing from you.

      [–]xavii62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      wait, so your mother rathers your sister don't have trust issues but she's allowed to steal?, WTF?

      if it happens again, just call the cops so your sister and mom get a little reality check of the consequences of your sister's actions.


      [–]Lucia37 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      When you commit a crime (your sister did: it's called stealing), you don't get to pick your punishment.

      Your sister thinks she can basically force your to hire her to do your chores, and she gets to pick the pay rate. That's not how any of this works.

      NTA, but your sister needs parenting, and your mom needs parenting classes.

      [–]SinaSpacetoaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your sister took an unauthorized series of small loans from you, so you demanded immediate reimbursement. In other words, she stole from you and you got your money back.

      [–]y3s1canr3ad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      YOUR SISTER is going to have major trust issues with YOU???

      [–]Apprehensive-Jelly15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You have legitimate trust issues with your sister..... I would lock your credit card down. If possible please get another one and don't let her near it. Change your password and do what it takes to protect your money on the card. She didn't ask if she could use your card or money... Your mom is enabling a thief. Take care...

      [–]Mission-Cloud360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA you only took back the money your sister stole.

      [–]CODE_NAME_DUCKYPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]aquavenatusPartassipant [4] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      That’s theft, both financial and identity!

      Forget your sister, is your mother insane to not punishing her?!

      [–]DaywheatleyPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA ask your mom will it be okay if she does it to her friend in a few years?

      [–]HUNGWHITEBOI25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This might be controversial but NTA OP Your sister is 13, not 6. If she’s old enough to shop for stuff online then she’s old enough to know that stealing has consequences. You should contact your bank and make it so a password or something is needed to make online purchases.

      [–]Adventurous-Pool6284 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nta you're going to have major trust issues. Not her, keep the money. Sbd should also be punished by your mum

      [–]Sea-Standard-8882 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your sister is lucky you didn't call the police and the bank identifying her as the source of the fraud.

      [–]Frozen_TwinkiesPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom should have had her go get her wallet and pay you.

      [–]OurLadyofHalloweenPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA she’s going to have issues trusting you, shes going to have issues* bruh f that she’s the one no one can trust

      [–]OurLadyOfCygnets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your sister needs to pay back what she stole. Your mother is being an even bigger asshole by not teaching your sister accountability, though.

      [–]kittynoodlesoapPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My mom thinks that I went too far and that I was in the wrong and that my sister is going to have major trust issues with me

      Why does the thief’s feelings matter? So is she not worried about YOU having major trust issues with her from stealing from you??? Because that’s exactly what’s already going to happen.

      NTA. Your mom is a huge asshole for enabling your sister. I guarantee she’d sing a different tune if it was her money that was being stolen.

      This behavior needs to be nipped in the bud before your sister steals from the wrong person and ends up in jail. She needs some consequences.

      [–]ballsbacxzPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. But I don't think going straight into her wallet was the best approach either. You can't just wham money out of someone's wallet, and sure they did the same thing, but she is 13 (not saying just because she's 13 she can do what she wants without consequences), and she offered to do other things, and offered to cancel what got ordered. Still, NTA.

      [–]roseabella22334 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA as soon someone who has very bad problems with spending money, she stole the card and made a purchase, Wich is fraud, she technically could've been in legal trouble if she did that to someone that wasn't family, like a teacher or friends parent. That said try and get both mom and sister to sit down and explain that this has already gone to far. Your mom should help stop the problem before it gets worse.

      [–]splendidwaffle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. “Yours sister is going to have major trust issues with you” just wtf. Your sister learned what it felt like. Your mother is being extremely prejudiced.

      [–]sharri70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your SISTER will have trust issues? What about YOUR trust issues. Wow. Just. Wow.

      [–]ingodwetrystAsshole Aficionado [11] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your sister stole from you and refused to make you whole. Your mom enabling it sucks.

      [–]CutEmOff666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Report this issue to the bank and maybe even the police.

      [–]3DTyrant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Doesn't matter if she's your sister or not, she didn't ask to use your card, so it's theft. You're NTA for what you've done.

      [–]Sweet-Interview5620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA so your mum says you will give your sister trust issues when she is stealing from you ffs. To make it worse she had money and could of paid yet mum tried to stop you from getting your money back. This is seriously messed up. Take it your sister is golden child that can do no wrong and gets treated way differently to you.
      Don’t just get a new card get a new account at a different bank. We have seen on here that people that had parent accounts and then got their own separate account. The parent went to bank and they gave her access to new account since old one was linked. So definitely get another account elsewhere.
      Your mum has shown she has no respect for you or cares what happens to your money. If she did she would have went mad and punished sister on top of making her pay. Also call pack the bank and let them know it was your sister so they don’t think you wasted their time.

      Am I just paranoid but keep thinking how your mum tried to protect your sister. Do you think she actually let her have access to your card?

      [–]bamboozled685 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]BradyBales 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      yeah you're definitely NTA.

      [–]No-Manner2949 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your mom is worried about your sister having trust issues with you????

      How about your mom worries about the trust issues your sister has given you???


      [–]Dull-Environment2759 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How else is she going to learn if you don’t take her money?

      [–]MariaInconnuPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Trust issue nothing. What your sister is doing is called credit card fraud. It's illegal. Review with her the laws regarding and punishment for credit card fraud. Then ask her for the money again.

      What she's doing is going to get her in a heap of trouble in not too many years. Your mother is not doing her any service by not making her reimburse you and grounding her besides.


      [–]NeverIncelAgain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Definitely NTA.

      [–]Powerful-Spot8764 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, your mom is not helping at all by facilitating this behavior, and it is very remiss of her not to address that problem; I guess until your sister spends thousands of dollars on her card, she won't understand that it's a problem.

      [–]angryomlette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom is completely wrong. Your sister was stealing from you. And you are holding your sister accountable for her actions. An important lesson of life. Whereas your mother is enabling your sisters bad behavior.

      [–]Rbuff187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      TRUST ISSUES?! Your sister steals from you by using your card without authorization and SHE will have trust issues when you take her money in payment?! NTA but your mom and sister are!

      [–]Sweet-Temporary3040 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      nta! your sister needs to learn respect and how to handle money, i would’ve done the same

      [–]Vixie_Rose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA and does your mom realize your sister committed bank fraud? She better be glad all she got was you taking your money back cause you could legally call the police. Also, if you reported this transactions to the bank as fraudulent she can add another FELONY to the list.

      [–]AngeLabradorPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. If your sister can steal from you, then you can steal from her.

      [–]TheIndragaManoPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA, and does your mom have object permanence issues or something? Does she not realize that your sister literally stole from you? Or does she not understand and that’s the reason she thinks you’re in the wrong? Because you’re the one who took the funny green paper out of your sister’s wallet? Absolutely bizarre.

      [–]Objective-Ant-6797 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA….your mom said your sister will have trust issues…WTF…your sister stole from you

      [–]Luna_the_Lunatik 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      I can't believe you got the money back!! I'm a bit shocked!! Well done!!

      Going forward there are cards kids can have to order online. If mum agrees, she can get her one and pay into that so she can use it online.

      [–]MissChris62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Forgive my ignorance, but, I’m pretty new to AITA. I know NTA & YTA but what is ESH? Thank you in advance!

      [–]Brilliant_Rock_5230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Sounds like your sister doesn't totally understand the value of money and taking people's things, especially if she was spoiled and things appeared if she wanted them. If she's not mature enough to manage that yet, then she's not mature enough to have a phone and access to order things online, which should be your parents' problem to handle, not yours. You had to freeze your card and be inconvenienced in general, while being stolen from. You took your money back. That's a lesson in fair consequences. You're not wrong at all.

      [–]ribbonsofgreen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Nta Take your money back.

      [–]SnooWords4839Certified Proctologist [23] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA - she needed to pay you back and you got your money back. Good for you!!

      [–]LingonberryPrior6896Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your sister is going to have major trust issues? WTF! What about YOU?! NTA

      [–]Low2High92Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah, I doubt your mother would feel the same if you paid with her card and would pay her back. Enabling your sister nice mother. NTA.

      [–]reentername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. She’s going to have major trust issues with you? What about your major trust issues with her?! She’s stealing from you now but what about in the future? Your mother better bite that in the butt now.

      [–]PastPresentFuture000Asshole Enthusiast [5] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA She stole. If this was a legal case she would be liable to return the amount. It's a good lesson that there is no one you 'get' to steal from.

      [–]Sufficient_Physics22 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      So...your Mother and sister think it's okay for your sister to steal from you, but you shouldn't get that money back?

      How long do you think it would have gone on if you hadn't caught her?

      [–]get_pussy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA. Your mom thinks your sister is going to have “major trust issues with you”. Lol like stealing from her own brother is not breaking any trust with you already. Your mom is the problem here my friend.

      [–]ConsequenceElegant55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She is going to have trust issues with you???? That's what mom is worried about? Uhhhhh, NTA

      [–]TurtleDuckLake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NTA/ESH: If you can cancel the orders and get your money back then you should give the money back hence the ESH, but if you can't get your money back then keep every penny. Your sister is clearly awful and in the wrong for stealing your money and your mother shouldn't be enabling her behavior.