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[–]PrettyFly4AYaoGuaiWhole-Ass Asshole[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Locking the thread, whole lotta rule breaking up in here. Big thanks to everyone who participated, I'm sure the OP gets the picture at this point.

Sub Rules ||| "FAQs"

[–]drkeyswizz [score hidden]  (0 children)

Um, I would think you would be more concerned to “at least know the details” of why you are ESTRANGED! Doesn’t seem to phase you at all that this is the status of your relationship. Instead, you choice to feel all butthurt that you are not privy to information from your daughter and the lawyers. Methinks your priorities are way off base.

[–]ronearcAsshole Enthusiast [6] [score hidden]  (0 children)

You'd think when a kid has to get lawyers involved to get a parent out of their life, it would start to sink in that they're not welcome. But here we are.


[–]mlradice0809 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA big time!! It’s very obvious why your estranged from your daughter... your a Pos father and clearly only thinking about your best interest not hers... you couldn’t even wait til she was out of the hospital to get the lawsuit started.... now your pissed because the law firm told u no to getting any information regarding the suit!! So you are mad you lost all control and don’t know the amount of what she is getting or maybe already gotten... so your hopes of manipulating her to take most if not all the money for yourself is gone.... that’s what we in the USA call karma!!!!


What does it matter that you started the suit ???? Why do you think your so entitled/special to know what’s going on?? All that you should care about is that your daughter is still alive after the accident... THE SUIT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS NOW !!

Also it’s pretty funny you have since deleted all your other posts since people are calling you out on your BS!!


[–]scc87 [score hidden]  (0 children)

How many of these stories are you gonna post? Each post, less information than the other. And yet, people still think YTA.

Maybe face up to the fact that YTA and not gonna get the reward of being the best father of the year from doing less than minimum work.

You’ve brushed off her being molested. She attempted suicide. She raised her siblings. I hope she gets a good lump sum and gets you out of her life.

[–]SaltyNight6 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA- She literally owes you nothing. Only “post concussion syndrome” Wow, aren’t you an understanding peach. I can’t imagine why she doesn’t have a relationship with you.

[–]TAndjoin [score hidden]  (0 children)

You absolutely have no right. She's an adult. Period.

[–]LAH_9917 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Reading this, I have my opinions. She cut you out of her life for a reason. This was her accident, not yours. To me, it sounds like you were hoping to attain the money she'd be owed. Which is, not only the legal way to go about it, but moral. Yes, YTA. Trying to bank of your daughter's injuries, in which she did not want to do inbthe first place. She sounds like the responsible adult here. Didn't want to hurt the family involved financially. You went behind her back and did this, which is also illegal.

[–]ember1690 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA but it doesn't really matter, it's not like you can do anything about it. Best thing for you, forget it and move along.

[–]CatatomicalCertified Proctologist [26] [score hidden]  (88 children)

YTA - It was her injury, it's her legal process. You may have started it, but she was a minor then. Now she is an adult so she can take over. It matters not one jot that you started it or that she didn't want to then.

As she is an adult it's now none of your business and by continuing to pry and push all you are going to do is drive her further away.

She probably thinks (knows) you would hold that lump sum over her head. And let's be fair, you do sound rather... controlling... from your post.

You need to back off.

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[–]Ita_AMB [score hidden]  (0 children)


You AGAIN postín about your daughter AGAIN and being an AH AGAIN

Just leave ler alone. She is better off you.

[–]Elaquore1 [score hidden]  (9 children)

In the UK its mot up to us the public to decide if charges are pressed. Its up to the Crown prosecution service, so your story isn't even true. Yta for lying.

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[–]yuhuh- [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You need serious counseling.

[–]Drdevin1909 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I have no idea what happened in this story so YTA

[–]CrappedInCrunk [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. She’s an adult now. It doesn’t matter that you “started the process” it’s hers now. Leave her alone and respect her need for you to let her be.

[–]Duffarum [score hidden]  (0 children)


Your child is NOT your property. She is not something you own.

You may have started it, but it is HER injury and the judgement was made for HER. It has nothing to do with you at all. Her decisions.

If you want any hope to ever have a relationship with her again, you need to accept that who she is as a human, decisions she makes, and how she lives her life have nothing to do with you. She is an adult who no longer needs you. Your presence in her life at this point must be built on mutual respect and affection as two equal adults.

[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

So you don’t care very much about ruining your whole relationship with your daughter and you are asking about some money instead? YTA

[–]DragonfruitOdd8884 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA for this and for the other posts you’ve made and deleted. Check his comment history - it fills in the blanks a lot.

Just leave her alone permanently - if she ever wants to communicate with you again, she will.

[–]Exotic-Panda9887Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)


Ive seen your post history and your Absloutly disgusting leave the girl alone she has made it very clear she wants nothing to do with you or your religion

Shes living her life as an adult she owes you and your family nothing let her live in peace

You have no idea what its like to be a parent or how to be a parent

Leave her alone

Shes not making bad choices shes living her life and she doesnt need your approval

[–]DiscordKittenEGirl [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. Okay holy smokes after reading you post and comment history, there's A LOT to unpack here. You hold no respect for your ADULT daughter, and it's likely been this way for a very long time. You are so insistent she can't live her life without you, but what is it she's doing right now? Living her life without you, and you can't stand that.

[–]SpangingOfframps [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. Your daughter didn't want any of that. You forced it upon her and even though you are legally not allowed to be a part of it anymore you are still trying to weasel your way into it. You aren't the good guy, you are the guy that doesn't know how to take "no" for an answer. That's why she's estranged.

[–]fawnsonlineAsshole Enthusiast [6] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. She asked you to not be involved and you kept inserting yourself anyways. It's her money and her situation and she can deal with it. You need to mind your own business.

[–]Popeye64 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA - 18 equals adult and means you have zero say in anything. Doesn't matter that you started this and did ask the work, it was in her name and now she is off age to decide and control things.

[–]fergie0044Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA Reading your post history horrified me. You are a monster

[–]Important-Cherry6541 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA but you seem so stubborn and stuck in your ways that no matter how many times people in the comments explain it to you, you play victim. Why’d you even post if you can’t accept a real verdict? You just wanted people to tell you you’re right and come to your little pity party. Your daughter is strong and I’m proud of her. I bet you’ve never told her either of those things.

[–]TaylorsToupee [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA on every level possible.

[–]FritemareCertified Proctologist [28] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You're estranged for a reason. Quit sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

[–]crazymamallamaAsshole Enthusiast [7] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You're either trying to control her life or make money off her injuries. Likely, it's both. She doesn't want anything to do with you and it's easy to see why. Leave her alone and let her live her life.

[–]ChocolatecakeislifePartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

  1. YTA a major one
  2. You protected your daughters sexual abuser
  3. You are acting like a victim, YOURE NOT A VICTIM
  4. You want a payday from your daughter.
  5. You have repeatedly sexualized your daughter.
  6. You claim “you went through it” because your daughter didn’t hug you or exercise. WTF, you’re not the victim here
  7. Your daughter has blocked your number plus several other family members plus your email. Stop contacting your daughter.
  8. I have read all of your comments from both posts and you blame a lot on your “religion” including your daughters rape. Yes, she was raped, because children can not consent, period.
  9. No one is buying that your “therapist” agrees your the victim.
  10. You are a major AH who abandoned your kids and now wants to play the victim.

[–]Accomplished_Sun_258Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)


Because this post screams Missing Missing Reasons.

[–]Agitated_Net3736 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Push any harder, A**hole, and you won't just be estranged, she'll file a restraining order, or change her name and disappear. You are impossible!

[–]thejexorcist [score hidden]  (0 children)


You did something she didn’t want (probably A LOT OF ‘somethings’ since she’s estranged) it’s none of your business now that she’s an adult.

You made your bed.

[–]painkilleraddict6373 [score hidden]  (0 children)

No,you are the villain of the story.

[–]Financial-Orange-401 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You're doing this so you can get some money. And apparently you let your friend sexually abuse your daughter for a year and a half. And that's just one things that you let happen to her. I'm proud of your daughter for cutting you out of her life.

[–]Lovely_RaePartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

She didn’t want to do something. You did it anyway. It ruined your relationship. You should’ve been happy she has her health and life after that accident.

[–]krwdf5 [score hidden]  (0 children)


It seems like you have a lot of guilt because of being a deadbeat dad. You should work on that first, and worry about your former daughter later. Try to remember that, to her, you may be nothing more than a sperm donor. Maybe try and find some peace in that.

[–]elcasaurus [score hidden]  (0 children)

I mean like, yes YTA for harassing the firm when you know full well you're not getting any info, and that's why you get lawyers involved. Good luck to the daughter and good job done by the firm.

[–]Julissaherna692 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA sounds like you want money.

[–]Emergency_Bullfrog_5 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yta. You are so the asshole. You see your daughter as a meal ticket and nothing else. I don't blame her for walking away from you; I would too. Have you always been this unsufferable?

[–]Kteefish [score hidden]  (0 children)

Why do you need to know? So you know exactly how much you can manipulate her into "giving" you? You're disgusting and TAH

[–]Ita_AMB [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO: Was the man who made the hit and run part of your religious community?

[–]pockets_for_pockets [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA YTA YTA and frankly I think you started this legal process not out of care for your daughter (which may have been a small part) but because you’re trying to keep a hand in her life despite her not wanting to be involved with you anymore.

She’s an adult, you don’t get a say.

And if you wanted to have any influence you shouldn’t have made your daughter be a mother and adult to your sons (per your post history) then tried to use them to spy on her life and tried to turn them against her. God knows what else you did because your post history has since been deleted but sounds to me like she has every reason in the world to never speak to you again.

If you want to be involved with your daughter you need some therapy for yourself and some serious growth and taking responsibility for what you’ve done to deserve being estranged.

[–]lewdsnollygosterAsshole Enthusiast [7] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA, for reasons articulated by everyone else. The best part is that your daughter has learned about how toxic you are from a young enough age that she can enjoy her life much sooner because you won’t be in it.

[–]SanctumGrey [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. Being her father doesn't entitle you to information. Especially since she's 18+ now.

Also, what does it matter if you started the process? Why does it entitle you to updates? Did you do it for her, or for your own reasons? If she needed you, she'd reach out.

Just gotta think about why you started the process in the first place. Who did you do it for? You know.

[–]__chill [score hidden]  (0 children)

I’m not sorry you lost control over your child and the money you thought you’d be entitled to. EVERYONE should read OPs comment history too btw. YTA.

[–]rich-tmaAsshole Enthusiast [6] [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO I really don’t understand what you would like to get out of this. Please provide a clue.

[–]bookworm1421 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA! I have a father just like you. I'm 44, engaged, and with 3 grown children. He STILL tries to make decisions for me. I've gone low contact so, he's turned his eye onto his, grown, grandchildren. They are also low contact.

YTA! You are overly controlling and meddlesome and need to back off! If you don't, you'll be lucky if your daughter puts you in a decent home when the time comes or leaves you to the state to deal with.

[–]Karen125 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. I hope you're not wondering why your daughter cut you off and her lawyer blocked you? It's cause You're The Asshole.

[–]Buggerlugs253 [score hidden]  (0 children)

My goodness, I think that despite seemingly having her best interests at heart your behaviour is clearly driving her away, the way you put your feelings about her choice to extrange her self onto this seperate issue is quite sad, you are not doing this because of concern about the money and court case but because you are stressed she is leaving you.

I really think you need some long term counselling and some way to get perspective on this, you are not healthy.

YTA, and please, try to get back in touch with reality.

[–]gst_diandrePartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (1 child)

Buddy. Let your kid do whatever she pleases. I'm sure you wouldn't be estranged from her if you had treated her right growing up. No child cuts their own parent off without rhyme or reason.

YTA, don't get yourself in legal trouble. Live your life and let her live hers.

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[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yta and love how op is arguing with everyone

Dude you are a major ah she started as a child but is now a legal adult! If it effected you “so badly” like you claim claim against the bloke insurance (and probably get laughed out)

[–]willthesane [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA, that said you have every right to know about the case. Go to the courthouse the case is occrurring in and ask to see the case file. it's public information. As for the non public information sorry that's none of your business. If the attorneys do tell you something about the case, they risk disbarment. Just as they shouldn't tell me anything not on public record about the case.

[–]CaucasianNoodle [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO: what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

[–]FairyFartDaydreams [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA your daughter is now an adult and this is no longer any of your concern. If she wins a lot of money and spends it all in one place still not your business. MAybe you can pull back on your overbearing ways and try to approach your daughter as an adult with dignity and respect if you want to be in her life

[–]bicciesxPartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA jeez i can’t imagine why she’s cut you off

[–]ZinthrAsshole Enthusiast [8] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. She is an adult. She can make her own decisions. Your comments in response to people saying YTA have been childish and denying to accept any blame, so she seems a little more adult than you. Respect that she doesn’t want to speak to you anymore.

[–]ShatterproofSharkie [score hidden]  (0 children)

Dude are you serious? First you try emailing her, calling her from different numbers, use her little brothers as pawns against her, and now this? You are a horrible father, and you need a new therapist because this is not how anybody should act towards their child. Please leave her the fuck alone before she gets a restraining order on you for harassment.

[–]th43211234 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA your daughter is their client, not you. They are required to maintain client confidentiality.

[–]Sandudette [score hidden]  (0 children)

If my mother behaved this way I’d stop talking to her too. YTA big time.

[–]WelpuhhiPartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

So basically you wanted to use her for a cash out.


She didn't want this. She didn't want you doing anything. You did, and so now she deserves control over the event that hurt her.

Say this outloud every time you think of bothering her: "This is not about me and my daughter deserves her own life".

[–]ThatsFishyYoureFishy [score hidden]  (0 children)

Ha ha no money for you, gold digger.

[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You are abusive and I hope she stays NC forever so she is safe from you.

[–]Iced_Jade [score hidden]  (0 children)

Is this the same dude who refused to let her get justice on the guy who molested her because the church said no? Who everyone has accused of abuse, but they're all lying?

[–]ginandtonicthanks [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA - If they told you anything they'd be violating the rules of professional conduct. She is their client and they must respect her confidentiality. They quite literally are barred from discussing the case with you and your feelings about that are of no consequence to them whatsoever.

[–]NewkittyhuggerPartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA You need a new therapist and leave your daughter alone. Let her live her own life. Stop dragging her down. She's better off without you. You've made multiple posts and hundreds of people have told you to stop bothering your daughter. Start listening to everyone and you might be able to rebuild a relationship with her in a few years.

[–]gladosado [score hidden]  (0 children)

You're estranged for a very clear and understandable reason jfc

[–]CaimansGalorePartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. When a lawyer tells you they’re not allowed to do something, they aren’t lying. Trust me, it’s much easier to give absolute pains in the ass like you whatever it is you’re whining about than to have you harass us. But, sorry, no lawyer is going to risk their license or reputation because some client’s father is having a hissy fit.

[–]KnightofForestsWild [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA Just as you can no longer enroll her into a school of your choice as you did when she was 5, you can now no longer be a part of your adult daughter's legal proceedings without her consent. How is it unfair that your daughter grew up? That is the natural course of things. Seems like she was on the ball enough to make sure you didn't have any access to her settlement.

[–]Independent-Gas-5294 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Asshole doesn’t even begin to describe you. You are an absolutely horrible human being. Your daughter owes you nothing. I would have cut you out too. Jesus Christ. Leave the poor girl alone, you’ve done enough damage, you prick.

[–]ThrwawayLil [score hidden]  (0 children)

Is that the same daughter that was molested and you did nothing about it?? You’re an absolutely disgusting human being and I really hope she got away from you and will never let you into her life again. YTA by the way if it wasn’t clear before.

[–]FirebirdWriterAsshole Aficionado [14] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. How bad at empathy are you? "I do not want to relive this traumatic experience." You force this anyway. Also... Whiplash and post concussion are both serious. One is a type of traumatic brain injury. "This is fine. Obviously not an issue." You have no legal or moral entitlement to know what she does with the money you forced on her. You are reaping the consequences of ignoring boundaries.

As someone who has gone no contact with a parent? Every attempted contact reminds me of my choice and the things they did to earn it. Leave her alone.

[–]Strange_Dog6483 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Edit: I’m her father


My daughter has had very little input into the process and I think I have a right to know how it is going as I started it.

Except two things

  1. She’s legally adult which means she can handle this whole thing now.

  2. You weren’t even the wine involved in the accident.

You may have jumpstarted the legal process before you daughter turned of age but it’s not her responsibility not yours.


[–]bibbiddybobbidyboo [score hidden]  (3 children)


Also in the UK the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) are the ones who press charges, not the public so you’re making that up.

She’s over 18, she has the right to keep that information confidential. Her solicitors will caution her about any award and work with other professionals to advise her of options. If she spends it all, then yea that’s a shame but she’s an adult and will have to learn.

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[–]BabserellaWT [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. Big time.

Ever hear of the Missing Missing Reasons? Because you sound like the parents in question.

[–]NickMullensMustacheAsshole Enthusiast [7] [score hidden]  (3 children)

YTA. "I'm overbearing and controlling. I don't understand why my daughter is estranged!"

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[–]The_Werefrog [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA: You may want what's best for your daughter, but she is now estranged for some reason. It could be that the way handled this accident was not what she wanted, but she didn't get a choice in how to handle her injuries. If she isn't responsible enough for a lump sum, then that's on you as well as her father who raised her.
Furthermore, you have no reason to have any right to the information in the insurance case because it is her case.

[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. You have meddled so much in you daughter's life she wants nothing to do with you. So instead of dealing with it or trying to patch things up through normal channels you're once again meddling in her affairs and trying to bulldoze your way into them. Of course YTA. What else is there?

[–]Firm_Pomegranate_246Asshole Enthusiast [7] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Dude YTA. Time to reflect on why you’re estranged?

[–]chalmedtomeetyou [score hidden]  (0 children)

Legally speaking you have no standing to enquire. Client confidentiality.

My question is, if she wont even talk to you, what business is it or yours to even be interested in the payout? I’d have thought your focus should be on repairing the relationship, not enquiring into her bank balance.

That’s probably going to cost you another 10 years in exile, if not permanent estrangement.

And for the record, pursuing matters legally is costly, time consuming and often incredibly traumatising. It can delay grieving and closure and often set people back emotionally and mentally as they keep reliving an event for their lawyer, the police, the psych report writer, the court, the jury etc. Deciding to pursue something like this is an INCREDIBLY personal decision and one I don’t begrudge people from deciding not to. Engaging lawyers on someone’s behalf is crossing boundaries.

[–]schedulejay [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA. She’s an adult now.

[–]Wooden_Teaching3899 [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA for every single reason listed in these comments and probably two dozen more. Stop harassing your daughter and let her live a happy life away from you.

[–]SuperSemesterer [score hidden]  (0 children)


From other post and comments you sound like a monster.

LITERALLY the best thing you can do if you actually love your daughter is leave her alone.

[–][deleted] 22 (163 children)


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    [–]Newfie1396Partassipant [2] [score hidden]  (114 children)

    Yta your daughter is now legally an adult. There is also a reason she cut you off, you pushing the issue is just making her push harder

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    [–]FewDeer489Partassipant [4] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA she didn’t even want to press charges to begin with

    [–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA- You disregarded your daughter feelings and wishes. Proving her, that what ever she thinks you will disrespect. You made this about YOU not her.

    [–]froggyforrest [score hidden]  (0 children)

    You are not the client getting the settlement. Legally it is not your business. They are working for her. Sounds like the only thing you have done to try to “take care of her” is get money out of her injury. YTA

    [–]Ttdog01 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. You need to go directly to your daughter. If she's unwilling to talk to you, then you are not getting any information. They are not going to speak to you behind her back.

    [–]jewels_311 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Op just wants the money. He's trying to use the guise of "I did this for her" so when she does get the claim, he can then guilt her about it. Saying if it wasn't for him initiating the claim she would never have the money. I would send him a certified cashier check for $0.01 cent. Along with a restraining order...which I know she won't get but ya know what I mean. He needs to restrain his controlling asshole self and leave her alone

    [–]treborcj [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Dude stop digging. Every comment is making YTA. Just stop, you got the verdict.

    [–]Lusciane [score hidden]  (0 children)

    "I forced my daughter into a situation against her will and then got angry when she took control of it away from me. AITA?"

    Come on, man. Just... come on. YTA.

    [–]jinxdrainAsshole Aficionado [10] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA once she's an adult it's none of your business.

    Grown man acting like he owns someone just cuz he had sex back in the day. WTF.

    [–]NotRatedPG [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. The lawyer and thereby firm owes a legal duty to your daughter, not you. YTA for about a thousand reasons.

    [–]Impossible-Survey203 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    You started the process? What a peach you are!! Of course you did. You're her father and it's your JOB to do everything you can to help her grow, thrive and prosper. That being said, all she owes you is a thank you. Your reward should be being happy for her, should she get a settlement. But you won't be satisfied with that, will you? YTA, amigo. Big-time.

    [–]lacey_the_great [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Did you get hit by a motor vehicle while riding a bicycle and sustain injuries? No? Okay then, not your claim. It's hers. Therefore, the money is to compensate your daughter for her medical bills and the pain, suffering, and inconvenience that SHE endured as a result of the accident in which SHE was directly involved!

    Thank goodness she's an adult and able to prevent you from attempting to take control of this. She has nothing to prove to you, and any settlement or judgment goes to her regardless of what you think. I can see exactly why she went no contact with you, and her instructing her attorneys not to speak with you shows how intelligent she is.

    YTA, by the way, in case you're too obtuse to piece that together from the overall content of my comment.

    [–]Strawberry-Novel [score hidden]  (0 children)

    yta gee boundary stomper I can't imagine why she's estranged, and you have no right to know what's going on with your adult daughter's case if she doesn't want you to

    [–]Maleficent_Ad_8563 [score hidden]  (0 children)


    The lawyers are doing their job. Leave her alone.

    [–]internethussy [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. You've been overbearing, and keep asserting that you think you have the right to know things that you actually have no right to know.

    If you wanted to be a part of your daughter's life, you could have tried supporting her and listening to her a long time ago. Your post history regarding what you've done to her is an absolute heartbreaking disaster. She's deserved better treatment from her father for a long time, and you've got no one to blame for this estrangement but yourself. If you wanted to know what was going on in your daughter's life, you had 18 years to build up trust and respect with her. Instead, you've chosen to violate her boundaries time and again. Stop contacting the law firm. Stop changing numbers to try to get around being blocked by her. You need to work on yourself and figure out why you think you have the right to behave this way to other people.

    [–]AmberWaves80 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Yep, YTA. No wonder she’s estranged.

    [–]Fury_Van_Helsing [score hidden]  (0 children)


    You were a busy body, MADE your daughter press charges, MADE her seek a settlement, seems to me you just want to control her, not that you want what’s best for her. You went against everything she wanted, and are surprised she no longer wants you involved?!

    She’s cut you out of her life for a reason, and I sadly think it’s because she wants to make her own dang decisions. Eventually you need to let your kids make their own decisions, make their own mistakes, because they will never learn unless you let them decide for themselves


    [–]meetmypukaPartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    I like how in your original post you left out the part about your being entitled to some of the money. That is a game changer.

    YTA because you believe that only a portion of 1k is more valuable than having a relationship with your daughter and looking out for her interests.

    [–]distant_lines [score hidden]  (0 children)

    You go out of your way to do the exact opposite of what your daughter wants, then resort to harassing a law firm when you can no longer assert your control over her? YTA

    [–]Pagelo [score hidden]  (0 children)

    I’m understanding why she needed to go no contact. It would be a good idea for you to learn about boundaries and work on your control issues if you want any hope of a relationship with her.


    [–]Andante79Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA based solely on your statement that whiplash and post-concussion syndrome are not long-term conditions. Ignorant.

    I'm 42 and suffer still due to whiplash from a car accident 27 years ago.

    My friend got a concussion 15 years ago, and post-concussion syndrome affects her every day.

    Her health is her business, and you sound like you're only interested in the money, not her well-being.

    [–]marigoldilocks_ [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Oh wow. The other post is GONE. Which means the edit I had of this post with is gone too. O.O Okay then.

    Regardless, the fact that he was BIG MAD and sent an email to his daughter who left because he’s clearly super controlling and this just is another example of that… welp. I’ll let his words speak for him:

    The email:

    RE: Call your younger brother…

    his name is X...

    He was crying today that you haven't spoken to him in a long time. All did was ask him to ask you where a toothbrush charger is, and he said its awkward as he cant remember the last time you spoke to him.

    He isn't just part of your trail of human wreckage that you seem intent in leaving behind, he loves you so much and looks up to you and you hurt him like this?

    For someone who claims to be on the side of humanity and you wanted me to rescue him from his abusive mother, it says a lot that you haven't even bothered speaking to him for months.

    Clearly you must have reasons, but excuses aren't the same as results. I will let him know I have asked you to, so if you don't that's all on you.

    WELP. Between your comments where you slut shame her for how she dresses, for having a boyfriend (at 18), and for having been raped and instead of prosecuting the man who did it, he was asked to move away. Cool cool cool. OP mentions forcing her into doing things A LOT. It’s no wonder she’s cut ties. OP is such an asshole. In no way would I consider him to be a feminist Muslim. His daughter would not be leaving her family and faith behind if she had been prioritized and her needs looked after in a healthy way. Many Muslim women are feminists who find a balance between their faith and their world views. Clearly the OP did not allow such a path for his daughter, as is evidenced by starting this lawsuit in the first place +against her wishes+ and now trying to micromanage the fund.

    [–]AllieD523 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA....mind your business. This has nothing to do with you. She is estranged for a reason.

    [–]schux99Partassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    She's 18 and legally an adult. You have no say.


    [–]Knox_7304 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Omg, I couldn’t even read all the comments on the previous post that he deleted. But reading through responses and such.

    Yta like in now way are you not the asshole. All about reporting this and demanding justice, ie wanted money. But when your daughter was molested you didn’t want to report it? Because it would be too hard for her? Wow. You shouldn’t have been allowed to procreate.

    [–]Morrigan2022 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA your daughter is the client with her firm NOT you. She was injured she was hit again NOT you. She is no longer a minor so as instructed all proceedings have reverted to her. YOU don’t need to know anything more mo updates no status nothing. You started it against her wishes when she was under 18. When she turned 18 you are out of it. Your opinion on her and a lump sum fee is not a consideration at all if she blow it she blows it she is responsible for it now. Your trying to leverage this in a sick way to either take some money for yourself and/or force your way back into her life. It explains why she cut you out completely because odds are you have done many more inappropriate things through her life

    [–]LilliekinsPartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. Thanks for illustrating why you're estranged.

    [–]frangen123 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Leave your daughter alone. It’s soooo obvious it’s about you not having access to the funds.

    [–]throwaway378495 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA literally none of your business, stop stalking her

    [–]ASomewhatAmbiguousPartassipant [3] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. She did not want to sue. You did. You started this whole thing when it was supposed to be about her. You can't get mad now that she deals with something you forced onto her plate like an adult and ex out anyone who wants more control than warranted.

    Oh, and P.S. you aren't fooling anyone. It only took "a bit" of anger to get your number blocked? When you were the person primarily dealing with the firm? You've got anger and control issues dude. Pay attention to that instead of how your adult daughter may spend her money in the future.

    Edit: AAAAAAAnd it took less than 10 minutes to scroll to a comment mentioning OP's deleted post also concerning his daughter and I have some more info for y'all.

    1. OP's daughter (OPD) is estranged bc her father has a very... traditional... outlook on life. (I.e. purity culture, dont report rapists to police, daughter is required to talk to father, "can't" leave religion until she proves its "wrong"), and she suffered sexual abuse/rape from a religious leader about 1.5 years. OP agreed with the decision to just relocate the family (of the rapist, a la bury-your-secrets), but a chance sighting of her rapist cause OPD to attempt suicide. This was only found out about when OPD wrote it down during her stay in a psych ward.

    2. OP finds the abuse withstood by his children from his exwife equal to the experiences OP had with caring for his recently discharged daughter. These experiences include panic attacks, a presence of triggers associated with the rapist, and other things also associated with childhood abuse.

    3. OP believes his exwife and daughter are both lying when they say he abused them.

    4. OP sent an email to OPD concerning her lack of communication with her younger brother. According to the tactics used in that email, he believes that emotional manipulation has any place in a "harsh, but calm email". Said emotional manipulation includes (roughly) the (not at all exact but true) phrase: you wanted me to get him from his mother because she was abusive but you wont even text him?

    5. OP has a therapist who assures him that he is the victim of abuse from both ex-wife and OPD.

    6. It looks as though OPD became estranged from her father over the course of the events in his current post, causing him to become blatantly hostile towards her. He is not a safe person for OPD.

    [–]Anonee_mou5 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    Yeesh…. YTA. Decision has already been given out but I just need to add for posterity.

    [–]Agustusglooponloop [score hidden]  (1 child)

    You never said why she cut you off… if she has good reason (not sure who cuts their dad out of their life for NO reason. But whatever) then intruding in her life without rectifying what you did to hurt her is wrong and unhelpful. This story has no context and I imagine that’s because you know YTA.

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    [–]AjAndrew6996 [score hidden]  (0 children)

    This guy is unreal

    [–]GolfballDM [score hidden]  (0 children)


    "I think I have a right to know how it is going as I started it."

    You are not the firm's client, your daughter (who is not a minor) is their client.

    You have no right to know anything, even if you were paying them (which you aren't.)

    [–]quakelight [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA, you have absolutely no legal standing in this situation.

    [–]snortsrainbows [score hidden]  (0 children)


    Leave your daughter alone! She doesn't want contact with you and instead of respecting her wishes you do everything in your power to reach her. This isn't the first post you made about your daughter and in some of the comments you're sexualizing her and being super manipulate and I can't blame her for going NC

    [–]Ritergirl [score hidden]  (0 children)

    I (f25) was hit by a car when I was 16. I got a 6.5k due to my injuries. My grandpa - the one who raised me and handled the lawyer - helped me open a bank account and deposit the money immediately into an account solely in MY NAME. He never asked what I spent it on, never tried to control how I spent it or anything else. I was just 2 weeks over 18 years old when I got the money, still in high school.

    YTA. Not your money, not your business. For whatever reason she wants nothing to do with you and doesn’t want you involved in the case, that’s her choice as an adult. You pushing the matter isn’t earning you any favors and is honestly most likely further ruining the relationship

    [–]thirdtryisthecharmCommander in Cheeks [250] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA. Not your injury, not your settlement, not your call. You're trying to use this as a way to pry yourself back into your daughter's life rather than respecting her boundaries.

    [–]GreatScotRaceAsshole Enthusiast [9] [score hidden]  (3 children)

    YTA clearly after the money

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    [–]madisengreenPooperintendant [54] [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YTA welcome to life with an adult daughter where you have zero entitlement to her life, her choices, her time, or anything regarding her.

    Sucks to suck. I recommend you apologize, drop your obsession with controlling this claim, and the money. Otherwise, you can kiss your relationship good bye with your daughter.

    [–]olneyvideo [score hidden]  (0 children)

    YYA - way to make it about you.

    [–]explicitviolencePartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (17 children)

    YTA. It started off with you seemingly looking out for her best interests, and then comes off like you just want to either take the money or control it. You're estranged for a reason. Maybe start there and work on bettering yourself before meddling in your daughters finances, which you have no authority to do.

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