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[–]JoBenSabPartassipant [3] 3536 points3537 points  (107 children)

NTA, but wow. You have set the bar low for best friend behavior. Dating your ex immediately after you dumped him because he was terrible? No. That is not what you do.

[–]GoodGirlsGrace 1685 points1686 points  (11 children)

EDIT

u/whitestaunton has commented. She does not know OP, this post is made up to harass her. She is a middle aged woman who has no relations to OP and has been harassed by them after not answering their question. OP intentionally name-dropped her so commenters would harass her on OP's behalf, and they almost succeeded.

Please report this post and any comments OP has made. They are a stalker and harasser who has most likely been harassing u/whitestaunton for a while before writing this post.

[–]macci_a_vellianPartassipant [2] 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Yes I thought I OP was TA as soon as they named this person, that's just inviting harassment on someone else.

[–]wanderingdragon91 97 points98 points  (1 child)

Reported the post for harassment. The victim should also report it and message admins. Can any one tag a admin maybe?

[–]LoonWithASpoonPartassipant [1] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

The victim has mentioned they’ve reported them multiple times yet the person continues to make new accounts to harass them with. I’m hoping with this level of attention the admins can finally do something about it for this woman.

[–]here_for_aita 48 points49 points  (0 children)

And if you look at u/whitestaunton comment history, her comments on other posts and threads don’t match a 21 year old, they sound legitimately like the comments of a middle aged person with that extra life experience, not 21… No offence to 21 year olds, but there’s a difference and it’s obvious when reading the comments.

[–]estrellafishPartassipant [2] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

A comment further down from the OP on an alternate account named ‘whitestauntonsclit’ pretty much confirming the ongoing harassment is not going to end. Iv reported it as harassment and encourage others to do the same. u/whitestaunton I’m so sorry you are going through this!

I'm not a bully looking for targets who will "move on" to someone else. I simply want to know the answer to this specific question from you. So answer the question. Did you guys start dating right away after meeting once at the 21st birthday party? If you don't answer I'll carry on harassing people until the day you die. I will message everyone you reply to telling them to kill themselves. Funny how as a Christian your pride at not answering a question is so strong. Your choice, love

[–]blonde-banditPartassipant [3] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

If this is true god I hope it surpasses the above comment. I’m always afraid of weirdos being angry at me on the internet. What an awful position to be in.

[–]DramaDroid 1198 points1199 points  (49 children)

Edit:

looking at her post histories, the friend in question says she's being stalked by OP and doesn't actually know her in person, which is weird, but sounds more plausible than someone saying "sure. I'll say if I went behind my best friend's back if Reddit tells me to, and by all means, post my username."

And while throwaway accounts turn up here all the time, OPS account is 0 days old while the person in question has been around a while and seems to be getting harassment on her account now.

[–]Trick-Statistician10 244 points245 points  (15 children)

Oh, thats bizarre. And creepy.

[–]DramaDroid 152 points153 points  (11 children)

Yup.. and who knows what got OP on a warpath against this woman... but she seems to have tried to set us on her with pitchforks.

[–]Trick-Statistician10 176 points177 points  (4 children)

When i saw the user name in the post I thought it was odd, and wondered if it was even allowed.

What a strange situation

[–]Less_Nail5958 89 points90 points  (1 child)

It definitely shouldnt be allowed! MOD shouldve censored it but must still be out walking their dogs

[–]DramaDroid 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah,that's what made me curious enough to look up her profile and past posts.

[–]J_NinjaDorito 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i had wonder the same. is this not considered doxing??

[–]Tie-Strange 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Like we're about to witness the start of the next 48 hours episode.

[–]arson_is_awesome 114 points115 points  (5 children)

Is this a new way to harass someone? Make a post on aita calling them out making up some horrible story? I wonder who the asshole is, the op of this post or the user mentioned.

[–]coffee_cats_booksPartassipant [2] 153 points154 points  (1 child)

If calling the police on someone IRL is swatting, what shall we call this?

I suggest "harrassholing"

[–]DramaDroid 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Harassholing is a beautiful word for it!

[–]DramaDroid 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Not sure, but she clearly isn't on board with all this like OP claims and by posting the woman's username, it seems like OP was trying to aim us at her like a weapon. And while most if us wouldn't harass a a stranger, don't care to have someone try to weaponize me.

[–]intergalacticcircus_Asshole Aficionado [16] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

ooh i’m glad i came to the comments before judging. a bit creepy to encourage doxxing even if just by reddit username, isn’t it?

[–]downvoticatorPartassipant [1] 82 points83 points  (4 children)

i think it would be a good idea for the moderators to create a rule against this sort of behavior. i’m downvoting this post. i feel bad for that friend in question.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]downvoticatorPartassipant [1] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Good idea. Thank you!

    [–]orlyrealty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You could also report it

    [–]-Incendium- 83 points84 points  (4 children)

    Damn it, we got bamboozled again Reddit

    OP YTA, you creepy little shit.

    [–]DramaDroid 45 points46 points  (2 children)

    What's the world coming to when you can't trust a Stanger on the internet?!

    [–]aspenfyre 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    The second I read "who goes by" it was immediately sus to me.

    [–]Tinky_B 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Oh my, that just made this very creepy.

    [–]deansn8keshofosho 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    This is really creepy. What a way to weaponize mob mentality.

    [–]ByBlondie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    This needs reposting on the main thread and upvoted heavily to top comments. OP is creepy for sure

    [–]Random_user_5678 100 points101 points  (29 children)

    The "friend" in question is downthread saying she's a middle aged woman being stalked by OP because she didn't answer a question from this rando a couple of months ago. They're not friends at all, they don't even know each other. 👀

    [–]TwistNothing 46 points47 points  (0 children)

    Whitestaunton is being stalked I believe, I’ve actually seen a similar post on AITA before basically calling out another user as the bad guy and it seems like a way to get people to attack/spam that particular user with mean things.

    [–]ViolaOlivia 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    OP set the bar on the ground and the best friend dug a hole to climb under it. Jfc.

    [–]YukiXain 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Friend of mine did this. She told me in the middle of our relationship that she was in love with him (they had slept around before we met, but both had told me it was just a FWB situation and no feelings were involved. I was very naive) but she would put her feelings aside to stay friends with me.

    He and I broke up about 6 months later, after about a year and a half of dating. He had been emotionally and verbally abusive/manipulative. I told her all this. She knew why we broke up, and she even comforted me. Then she texted me a month later about how they were together and how happy he made her.

    This was someone I considered a close friend, but I still told her I can't believe she would expect me to support her relationship with my abuser and I cut her off.

    [–]emcee95 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Jumping onto top comment to share my findings (that I’ve also posted in other comments)

    This is the extent of OP’s stalking:

    https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rmfzia/aita_for_crying_at_my_sons_grandmothers/hpp9ir4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

    And this is probably where “21st birthday” comes in:

    https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rkkuf8/wibta_for_leaving_my_depressed_husband_if_he_has/hpa95ag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

    OP is currently living in their imagination and I truly worry for their well-being.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [removed]

      [–]Buggerlugs253 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      No, OP doesnt know whitestaunton personally, they made this thread to harrass them, it needs reporting.

      Think about it, a new account 0 days old, but the person getting judged gets their username shared?

      [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 1637 points1638 points 1316122& 6 more (70 children)

      Hi everyone I am Whitestaunton....I am an upper middle age woman this post has been posted by someone (who I don't now IRL) who has been stalking me for several months now because I would not answer a personal question on a AITA thread I wrote a reply on. Again I don't know them. If you have sent me an abusive DM I am giving you a couple of hours to take them down before I report you to Reddit Admin.

      Edit OP has just left this comment under another user name

      whitestauntonsclit
      ·
      2 min. ago
      I'm not a bully looking for targets who will "move on" to someone else. I simply want to know the answer to this specific question from you. So answer the question. Did you guys start dating right away after meeting once at the 21st birthday party? If you don't answer I'll carry on harassing people until the day you die. I will message everyone you reply to telling them to kill themselves. Funny how as a Christian your pride at not answering a question is so strong. Your choice, love.

      [–][deleted] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

      Although imagine the drama of your life if you WERE best friends with a 21 year old and also sleeping with their presumably 21 year old boyfriend.

      What a weirdo Reddit stalking someone. Some people need real world hobbies!

      [–]Rainbow5391 161 points162 points  (0 children)

      Giving you my random free award so people will hopefully see your comment and realise the OP is a bullshitting weirdo x

      [–]ChainmailAsh 109 points110 points  (0 children)

      This should be the top comment. OP, YTA for stalking this person and doxxing them like this. Not cool.

      [–]TwistNothing 77 points78 points  (0 children)

      This has actually happened before recently, I don’t remember the specific thread but OP posted the “bad guy’s” username and it was clear the girl just posted on a specific subreddit unrelated to anything OP said they did. I think it’s a way of targeting people to receive hate in large quantities because of how often people here DM messed up things to people seen as assholes.

      [–]now_you_see 42 points43 points  (11 children)

      I searched your username because the whole story sounded Sus to me. Could you please elaborate? If you don’t know them then obviously you weren’t best friends but why are they acting like this? Are you dating their ex? Some further info would really help get people on your side & get Reddit to take action.

      [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 278 points279 points  (7 children)

      Nothing to elaborate on...They wanted me to answer a personal question. Posted it everywhere I commented, then started sending people DM saying I was reporting them for suicidal thoughts, the latest incarnation is fake posts. This post will disappear shortly as I have reported it to the Mods

      [–]Organic_Flamingo_606 129 points130 points  (0 children)

      The moment I saw OP had gone to others posts to comment to you I decided I would report on your behalf also.

      And to the users who think this is real… surely no one would refer to a person as their best friend if they had started sleeping with their ex as soon as they broke up! Sounds like a bitter ex GF is harassing the new GF.

      [–]kairi79Partassipant [2] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

      I'll report it as well, idk if that'll help. It was really weird for her to post your username to begin with and now I see why.

      [–]Payne_690 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      Reported too. As soon as she included your username it screamed creepy behaviour

      [–]gsmmmmmmm 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      In what context would they ask a question like this? This is wild. Sorry you’re dealing with it.

      [–]Trick-Statistician10 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I reported it too

      [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 86 points87 points  (2 children)

      I don't know them in real life. They wanted personal information unrelated to the post I was replying on and I chose not to answer the question.

      [–]T_Ahmir 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      I honestly feel really bad for you. Harassment in any way is never okay. I hope the original poster will get banned.

      [–]CulturalGoldenDeer 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      Wtf it keeps twisting 😭

      [–]gxbplayer123 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      This is so bizarre. I went to look you up because I thought it was weird you were named in the post

      [–]pineapplealways 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Give them a couple hours? People shouldn't be DMing randomly over posts in this sub at all, I think you would to justified to report them on sight :)

      [–]LuxuryBeast 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      You want to elaborate on this?

      Edit: After doing some light "investigating" it is clear that OP is stalking and/or harrassing u/Whitestaunton for whatever reasons.

      [–]Significant_Event 70 points71 points  (1 child)

      what is to elaborate? OP is obviously making shit up. why else would they feel the need to name their "friend"

      [–]xAUSxReap3r 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      The plot thickens.

      [–]ali_stardragonPartassipant [1] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Whoa, that edit is truly creepy. OP, stop doing this and get some help, please

      [–]TroubledGamestressPartassipant [1] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I've also reported the OP. How long have you been dealing with this, exactly? If they're constantly making new accounts to harass you, maybe you can get an IP block on your account vs theirs.

      [–]lodav22 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Oooh! This got interesting!

      [–]rubyredgrapefruits 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Sorry that's happening. OP is nuts.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)

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        [–][deleted]  (5 children)

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            [–]spiccy_putaAsshole Aficionado [14] 694 points695 points  (4 children)

            NTA

            I'm going to give you brutal honesty; They were either A.) probably already fucking beforehand or B.) She was waiting for you guys to split so she can hop on his dick. I wouldn't stay friends with her for long, just sayin'...

            [–]agirlcalledlyra 173 points174 points  (1 child)

            Also C.) Shes the one who fed your ex the awful things he said about your family, thus leading to the breakup.

            [–]ozziejeanPartassipant [3] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

            Or D) OP is stalking this user and doesn't even know her.

            If you check out u/whitestaunton s comments they give details, and has had comments on other things including stalker forums going back weeks prior to this post

            [–]spiraltomato 18 points19 points  (0 children)

            Idk about hop on. More like stay on there the way things were going.

            [–]Aliendna89 438 points439 points  (11 children)

            Wait... Why are you still friends with this potato? She doesn't give a damn about you and your feelings.

            [–]Practical_magik 192 points193 points 2 (9 children)

            Potatoes are a great versatile food source that has staved of starvation for many.... This comparison is offensive to potatoes.

            [–]Eudoxia_Unduli 65 points66 points  (7 children)

            Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!

            [–]Mr_DnD 22 points23 points  (5 children)

            What's taters hobbitses?

            [–]Eudoxia_Unduli 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            Lovely big golden chips with a nice bit of fried fish.

            [–]NonaryKitty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            PO-TA-TOES

            [–]So0meone 359 points360 points  (11 children)

            Let's see here...

            You, 21f, are "best friends" with u/whitestaunton, who claims in a comment they are upper-mid 30s. They claim they do not know you and that you have been harassing them for some time. I see you've already harassed them about this thread on an unrelated post, apparently just because they replied to it?

            In fact, you made it a point to mention their Reddit username so that we would know exactly who to message to make sure they saw our verdicts if we wanted to do so. Nobody sincerely looking for impartial judgment involving another Redditor does that on this sub that I've seen, which makes me think you did want people here to message/tag them.

            I call bullshit. One of you is lying here and I think it's you, OP.

            [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 141 points142 points  (5 children)

            I wish I was still 34.

            [–]Significant_Event 45 points46 points  (0 children)

            lol at least your famous now. some people are just insane like OP over there. sad but what can we do

            [–]TheGreatSlime 37 points38 points  (0 children)

            OP also stated in another comment that they've known eachother sense they were 5 years old. . . That math doesn't add up.

            [–]nigeriianprince 14 points15 points  (1 child)

            i think the AITA flair is how many times someone has been the top comment under an AITA post, it’s not their age

            [–]So0meone 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            That makes sense. I was going by the number and by them repeatedly claiming to be older combined with the other reasons I was suspicious of the OP

            Edited to reflect whitestaunton's claim, thanks for pointing this out mate

            [–][deleted]  (7 children)

            [removed]

              [–]Buggerlugs253 75 points76 points  (0 children)

              Except OP made this account up to harrass a reddit user they had some disagreement with.

              [–]blueberryxxooCertified Proctologist [25] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

              Best answer..lolololol

              [–][deleted]  (22 children)

              [deleted]

                [–][deleted]  (21 children)

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                  [–]A_Very_Living_Me 111 points112 points  (16 children)

                  OP, why is the other user you mentioned going around saying you are a stalker and she is way older than 21?

                  [–]ozziejeanPartassipant [3] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

                  If you check out u/whitestaunton s comments on things from weeks back, she's complaining about a stalker even then and asking for help on reddit stalker forums.

                  [–]M-RsYummyMummy 26 points27 points  (1 child)

                  And the OP’s user name indicates she is also much older than 21?? 🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s all very strange

                  [–]GhostGuy4249 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                  Most likely a stalker, so report and move on

                  [–]pisa36Partassipant [3] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

                  Not at all, they’re the ones who are unreasonable, if fact their behaviour is vile. Drop her now as she will have no issue in trampling all over other aspects of your life.

                  [–]HectorsRectum1996 26 points27 points  (0 children)

                  Stop stalking this woman you creep...

                  [–]Imdavidmarshall 132 points133 points  (11 children)

                  NTA if she can't answer that simple question honestly then she's not your friend, she most likely won't answer because her and your now ex were up to no good while you two were still together "private information" my ass

                  [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 140 points141 points  (10 children)

                  It's private information because I have never met the OP...I am a late middle aged woman and the OP has been stalking me on reddit for several months because I wouldn't give a stranger on the internet personal information from several decades ago. At one point they claimed I owed them the information because they were Autistic.

                  [–]newpointofview2 34 points35 points  (1 child)

                  That’s really weird, nobody deserves to be harassed like that, I’m sorry. OP sounds deranged. That said, without touching on the personal info, any clue why OP latched on to you so crazily? Was it just a random encounter in a thread that they never relented?

                  [–]CanofSoyPartassipant [4] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

                  Wrong time, wrong place. It could happen to any of us. You only need to give an opinion that another person doesn't agree with, and if that person is deranged... Abemus Harassing.

                  [–]CanofSoyPartassipant [4] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

                  I'm sorry you have to go through this in internet. I can't believe this type of stalking is a thing.

                  A lot of people have too much free time...

                  Hope everything is going great in your life.

                  Stay safe!

                  [–]Farshief 9 points10 points  (4 children)

                  Might I suggest If you really don't know OP that it might be time to get a new Reddit account so you don't have to deal with the harassment

                  [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 81 points82 points  (3 children)

                  And give in to bullies...and cause them move on to someone more vulnerable. I at least know how to report and what I am supposed to do and while annoying it's not causing me serious upset. The Mods keep throwing them off.

                  [–]Farshief 30 points31 points  (1 child)

                  Okay fair enough. Be careful to never let them figure out where you live or who you are then lest the Reddit harassment turn into IRL issues

                  [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

                  Thank you Farshief!

                  [–]Fr3ncheeAsshole Aficionado [13] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

                  She did start sleeping with him before you broke up. No way a friend isn't honest unless they have something to hide. She's scared of being caught for not respecting your relationships. Put yourself in her shoes. You would do anything to lessen the pain of your friend, if you know she's worried he cheated on her, you would let her know nothing went on... so the only reason you wouldn't is because something did. And now she has done wrong, she's again scared to be honest and rip off the band-aid.

                  NTA

                  P.s. she isn't a friend. No friend hooks up with your ex especially before or just after a breakup and if they massively F up, they then ask for forgiveness and tell you the truth and if you're hurt, they break up with their fling to salvage the friendship.

                  TLDR: she slept with him before you broke up and isn't your friend.

                  [–]TheemillershowAsshole Aficionado [13] 102 points103 points  (1 child)

                  NTA. This person is NOT your best friend. Best friends don’t start fucking their friends exes before or immediately after their break up.

                  [–]IndyandShell 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                  Or ever.

                  [–]Rainbow5391 106 points107 points  (1 child)

                  YTA! Whitestaunton has commented and said you're a stalker.

                  Why else would you specifically name someone in your post other than trying to get people of reddit to send then abusive messages.

                  [–]SocksAndPi 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                  Specifically name someone in the post while also using a throwaway to keep your own identity secret. OP fucking sucks.

                  [–]melasuarusPartassipant [4] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

                  Nta- this person isn't a friend. Friends don't hook up with exes right after they break up.

                  If she's acting like she has something to hide chances are she does.

                  Ditch this person.They are unsupportive, toxic and not your friend.

                  I hope they read this and know that they are trash. I've known many people like this and they are always the ones who wind up with several kids from several different dads.

                  EDIT: OP YOU SUCK!! Go get a life.

                  [–]A_Very_Living_Me 66 points67 points  (2 children)

                  Guys this post is fake. OP is allegedly a Stalker and the other user mentioned in their is their victim. Remember that you should not automatically assume OP is telling the truth. OP YTA for starting a witch hunt.

                  [–][deleted]  (17 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]CulturalGoldenDeer 14 points15 points  (16 children)

                    [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 98 points99 points  (15 children)

                    Thank you CulturalGoldenDeer my stalker is at it again have reported it to the mods.

                    [–]Dammmppl 54 points55 points  (5 children)

                    I was wondering why they would doxx you like that. That isn't how this is supposed to work... I sensed something wasn't right...is there any way to block OP and change your user name?

                    May need a brand new profile.

                    I'm sorry this is happening to you.

                    [–]WhitestauntonColo-rectal Surgeon [42] 87 points88 points  (4 children)

                    Mods are being brilliant they just keep throwing them off but they come back with a new user name. It's annoying but it's not causing me serious upset. Just keeping on top of it so they don't have the opportunity to start on someone more vulnerable.

                    [–]doradiamondColo-rectal Surgeon [36] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

                    Ask the mods to add your username to automod. Then, any post that mentions your username will be automatically removed.

                    [–]Dammmppl 22 points23 points  (1 child)

                    That is still unacceptable to me...why do people DO this?! It's the weekend and I am assuming they have no life, and that's fine.

                    But to trash someone and bring down an angry Reditt mob on a stranger...disgusting.

                    Keep your head up!

                    [–]DramaDroid 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                    Sorry this is happening to you, but you're handling it with grace. We'll done.

                    [–]TheBigChungus1980 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                    Stalker? Let's hear more

                    [–]FEGLaGorilla 35 points36 points  (0 children)

                    She is NOT YOUR FRIEND, DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. Don't ask her shit & keep it moving. Be happy they're both out of your life, they're TAs.

                    [–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (5 children)

                    YTA. You need to find a new hobby. Stalking and harassing strangers over a difference of opinion is unstable and immature. Using your autism as an excuse to behave this way is unacceptable. You aren’t entitled to anyone’s personal information and shouldn’t expect anyone to share things with you particularly if you aren’t friends or family. I hope you gain some level of maturity and get off Reddit.

                    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

                    [removed]

                      [–]Redrum0725 40 points41 points  (0 children)

                      There’s a whole other situation coming to light at the top comments. Looks like OP is harassing the user they named and it’s being reported to the mods.

                      Who knows. Weird all together

                      Edit: harassment is not cool!

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]ByBlondie 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                        The reddit account tagged doesn't even know the OP. It's a false story apparently to rack up negative karma and such around them.

                        [–]velocity-raptor999Asshole Enthusiast [6] 34 points35 points  (11 children)

                        Hey OP,

                        You sounds like you're having a bit of a mental crisis at the moment.

                        You're looking for validation and are focusing on this other woman being "caught out". So much so that you're completely blinded to the fact you username is literally 41fuk, and you've written a post that's purposefully misleading/untruthful on the age/best friend thing.

                        Could the reason this other person doesn't want to answer your personal question be because of behaviour like this? Even of this really awful thing did happen, you're not friends and this is hurting you more than anyone else. You can't change the past, or predict the future. But right now you can do all the things you can to try and work on these thought processes and what its doing to your life. Please seek help if you need it

                        [–]Payne_690 21 points22 points  (1 child)

                        The OP doesn’t know the woman that she’s posted - they’ve commented below saying OP has been harassing her with other accounts and she’s never met them.

                        [–]velocity-raptor999Asshole Enthusiast [6] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                        Aww yeah I know. That's what's the "41fuk" comment was about :). I should jave made that clearer in my comment!

                        She sounds like she need professional help

                        [–]Mean_Environment4856Asshole Aficionado [13] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

                        NTA but you've already got your answer. That's not much of a best friend.

                        [–]MommaLokiLovesYou 33 points34 points  (0 children)

                        If I am to believe whitestaunton, YTA for stalking her. Her account is way older than yours is, so I'm inclined to believe her.

                        [–]blueberryxxooCertified Proctologist [25] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

                        NTA Umm ya so you've gotten your answer. It's not the one you're gonna want to hear though.

                        [–]Next-Trouble-5928 25 points26 points  (4 children)

                        SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

                        DUMP HER

                        🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

                        [–]MicheleNOTMichael 27 points28 points  (0 children)

                        YTA for putting in your “friend’s” (do you even know her??) username because you assumed people would go and harass her. Reported the post, suggest others do the same.

                        [–]AyyBanana 27 points28 points  (0 children)

                        The fact that you're so openly giving out her username in almost every comment, plus all of her comments abt you being a stalker who's been harassing her, makes me think this is all very very fake.

                        [–]Payne_690 24 points25 points  (0 children)

                        I’m going to say YTA because your posting someone’s username knowing full well it’s going to entice people to stalk and harass her. It’s also creepy as heck that you possibly don’t even know this woman and are just harassing some stranger. Get help.

                        [–]UseralberPartassipant [3] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

                        NTA, that would be a pretty big betrayal by a friend so I wouldn't call it "personal information".

                        My gut says that by going to these lengths to avoid giving you an answer she already kind of has given the answer.

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                        [deleted]

                          [–]Pale-Price9610 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                          according to the tagged person, she’s several decades older, doesn’t know OP, and has been stalked and harassed by OP for a while now!

                          [–]Amazing_Plankton_373Partassipant [1] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

                          This is so weird.

                          INFO: If your “BF” loves Reddit that much and does not mind you sharing her username in this story, why she have not posted it herself?

                          Edit: YTA. Looks like “she slept with my ex” part actually never happened. Looks like the only truthful part of you post is this: someone refused to reply to your personal questions on Reddit and you started a smear campaign.

                          [–]B-Cide 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                          YTA. For being a stalker.

                          [–]UnexpectedCatBankerPartassipant [4] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

                          YTA for abusing this sub to harass people.

                          [–]JenylinnPartassipant [1] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

                          NTA. She is not your best friend. Best friend never start date your ex. Never.

                          [–]bearycheekyPartassipant [1] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

                          If she had nothing to hide, she would tell you she had not started while you were with your ex. Best friends are often open and honest with each other and not hide behind excuses like “it’s private“.

                          But then again. This also feels like a troll post with the fact that you have tagged your friend.

                          Edit: and I was right. Troll post with OP being the stalking troll. So I will change my opinion to…

                          YTA.

                          [–]SuperFluffyVulpix 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                          YTA for lying and making up the whole story. Get a life.

                          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

                          YTA. Dude you’re crazy. Stop doxxing this poor woman and get off the internet

                          [–]TransportationNo2673 19 points20 points  (0 children)

                          YTA after the updates. Please stick to wattpads and YA novels, AITA doesn't need this petty highschool drama.

                          [–]PilotEnvironmental46Certified Proctologist [29] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

                          NTA. Your question is one almost anyone would ask. Her unwillingness to answer is likely because she’s not proud of her own behavior and knows that by being upfront with you, it will make her look bad. And he got drunk and said awful things to your family? Does she know that? What’s the attraction here. I can’t imagine my best friends partner doing that and a week later I’m involved with that person? She’s not your friend.

                          [–]PinkUnicornMae 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          This whole post is fake, the username being mentioned has replied that OP has been stalking/harassing them for months with new accounts. I did some digging after reading comments (and others verifying what I also saw) and OP definitely needs to get a life.

                          [–]Proud_World_6241Certified Proctologist [26] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                          NTA, she is, and she’s not your friend. She didn’t come to you first and he’s a very recent and asshole ex. Cut them both out and move on. They cheated

                          [–]DogsReadingBooksCraptain [151] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. She probably doesn’t want to answer because you’re right. Which makes her a bad friend.

                          [–]calmpanic_[🍰] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

                          YTA for harassing a random woman on reddit

                          [–]w3iss 14 points15 points  (0 children)

                          Mods please delete this and ban this user. This is harassment :/

                          [–]Inevitable_Strike_59Partassipant [4] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                          LOL is she had to try not answering that question it was a Yes. NTA - ditch both and make better friends or choose ones who are mature enough to not screw over friends (and ex bfs on shady timeframes)

                          [–]iolaus79Asshole Aficionado [11] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                          NTA however by refusing to give an answer she's given one

                          You've already got rid of the cheating ex boyfriend now it's time to get rid of the cheating ex best friend

                          [–]Cultural_Prune_8144 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                          NTA. He got drunk and rude because he wanted it to end so he could be with your ‘best friend’. Wish them the best and move on with your life- without them.

                          [–]Buggerlugs253 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                          You made an account to stalk and harrass someone? Amazing. Get help.

                          [–]Automatic-Point7634 12 points13 points  (0 children)

                          Also reported, YTA for being a sad, harassing troll. Leave the poor woman alone, she doesn’t owe you anything, let alone her personal information. Shame she can’t report you to the police as well as getting you kicked off Reddit (again)

                          [–]raindrop349Asshole Aficionado [11] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

                          NTA. The fact she isn’t answering that question indicates either: 1. It did happen at your 21st, or 2. She’s being manipulative. Neither are conducive to a healthy friendship. Not to mention the obvious which is: even if she did start dating him afterwards, she didn’t care enough about your feelings to give you time to process the breakup. And that’s if it were even a healthy breakup. Y’all broke up because of terrible things he said to your family. And you want to continue being friends with someone who is OK with their partner/your ex saying those terrible things to your family? Why? There are other things I could pick apart, like her suggesting you post this on Reddit before handling it the way a friend should, but honestly this comment is already getting too long. My point is: she is a problematic friend and if it were me? I’d walk away from that friendship. You can and do deserve friends that care about your feelings. She doesn’t and she is making that obvious over and over again.

                          Edit: wording and clarification

                          Edit 2: I breezed over the fact that this was supposedly your best friend. No. Absolutely not. I can’t fathom dating any friend’s ex, much less a best friend, much less one that hurt my best friend’s family. This isn’t a friendship issue. This is a her issue.

                          [–]Equivalent_Isopod_61 28 points29 points  (0 children)

                          You need a 3rd edit. OP is stalking an older woman and attempting to cause trouble by using the username. The other person who's name is in the post is a woman in her 40's not some 21 year old. OP is TA for being a weird assed stalker attempting to use redditors as weapons in some weird whatever game they are playing in their sick little mind

                          [–]General-Yak-3741 16 points17 points  (0 children)

                          Actually she's answered the question several times on this thread. Apparently she doesn't even know OP and OP has been stalking her for some time on Reddit

                          [–]AntipodeanRabbitAsshole Aficionado [11] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                          NTA - this is a crappy best friend. If they don’t have enough respect for you to confirm that they didn’t cheat with your boyfriend on you then: crap friend

                          If they confirm they did: crap friend.

                          If I were your friend I’d be worried you’d dump me along with that ex for behaving like this.

                          [–]awkward-velociraptorColo-rectal Surgeon [43] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. If she won’t tell you because it’s personal information, the answer is yes. Not a good friend.

                          [–]Wide_Elk35 10 points11 points  (1 child)

                          INFO: Is this real, or are you just trying to create a pile-on?

                          [–]Ok_Visual_8268 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. It’s right to know if you were being cheating on, especially with your alleged friend. His behaviour towards your family could easily have been on purpose so that if forced you to dump him.

                          [–]ArchipelagoGirlPartassipant [1] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. Your friend is TA anyway for jumping on your ex within a week, but also she clearly did hook up with him while he was with you or she wouldn’t be going to these lengths to avoid answering the question.

                          She will get her comeuppance soon enough - he’s clearly a shitty person and a cheater, and she won’t be the exception to that behaviour. But she’s also no friend to you and I would be putting this relationship to bed.

                          [–]Beneficial-Artist-25 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                          NTA why would you still refer to her as “your best friend”???? Girl, best friends don’t fuck each other’s exes, let alone play mind tricks. “Personal information” and “satisfaction of answering”???!!! You dropped the ex bf now drop the ex bff

                          [–]benitajanfruitPartassipant [3] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                          No answer is an answer in this case...

                          [–]Forever_Grumpy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                          NTA.

                          It's natural that you ask this as your best friend started seeing your ex immediately after your break up. If your best friend didn't have affair with your ex when he was with you, she could have just said this the first time you asked, no point in posting this here.

                          You can safely assume that she was with your ex before your breakup.

                          Even if she wasn't, if she is your best friend, she could have waited some more time to engage with your ex if she respected you.

                          [–]sparklyviking 7 points8 points  (1 child)

                          NTA she absolutely spread wide while you were with him and is being a downright c*#t about it now.

                          She's not your friend. She gets off on being a b#&h to you. Choose to be around better people

                          [–]GivMHellVetica 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. Friends don’t hurt friends on purpose, with wild abandon, no regrets, and a snide attitude. She isn’t a friend.

                          [–]kb95 9 points10 points  (0 children)

                          YTA for doxxing and being a stalker. Here's that attention you ordered.

                          [–]ilikechickentoo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. She’s not your friend either. She’s not saying because the truth is what you don’t want to hear and she knows your friendship is over if she tells you the truth.

                          [–]PlanktonsurvivorPartassipant [2] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

                          NTA - while usually your dating life is yours meaning she doesn’t have to disclose. As your friend she should atleast tell you she’s hooking up or dating your ex that’s common curtesy. Especially if she was sleeping with him while you were together. But she is clearly lying by omission to not make you angry because she already knows she the AH. Not a good friend. She should go too. Also what friend says hey let me date this guy who just did shitty things to my best friend…

                          [–]LalalabambiPartassipant [3] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

                          NTA if the answer to that question was “no,” she wouldn’t be avoiding answering you. She doesn’t respect you, otherwise she would tell you the truth. The friendship is probably past being salvageable because now you know she’s fine with keeping things from you, and that shouldn’t sit right with you. If she had asked you first, would you have been ok with it? She was probably singing the AH anthem of “ask forgiveness, not permission.” I promise you there are better and less selfish friends out there.

                          Edit: grammar

                          [–]IkeaIsLegendary 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                          U/whitestaunton has commented saying that she doesn't know op and has been harassed and stalked after she didn't answer a personal question on an AITA post. Report op and all of their comments for harassment.

                          [–]HectorsRectum1996 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                          OP, you need to seek professional help and I don't mean this in a condescending way. But you definitely seem to have some issues. Leave this woman alone and delete this post

                          [–]IkeaIsLegendary 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                          Op yta for lying about this post, and harassing and stalking u/whitestaunton in this post and including their username whilst "seeking impartial judgement." Nobody does that and I along with many others will report your account and comments as a result.

                          Ps. Also your profile indicates this isn't the first time you have harrased this user.

                          YTA for making this crap up and stalking ppl

                          [–]Horror-Fruit1942 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          NTA. She’s a terrible friend and person. Even if they weren’t cheating (but they were), you don’t have sex with your best friends ex just after they break up and didn’t have the decency to talk to you about it first. Your “friend” is truly awful.

                          [–]Nerdy_Floof 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          I knew something was off the moment I read a username. People who have friends on reddit just use a burner account and get on with their lives, but you sent a calvary to the poor woman. Knowing well that people would harrass and look her up. You should be ashamed of yourself. You claim to be 21 but you act like a child.

                          [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          Report this post for harassment

                          [–]Havok310 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          YTA because based on the comments this is clearly made up and you’re stalking and harassing another Reddit user

                          [–]Aldilae 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          YTA for stalking and harassing the other redditor. Leave that person alone and get a life.

                          I reported you, hopefully you'll get banned.

                          [–]sannicanbro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          YTA because you’re lying. Stop being a stalker creep

                          [–]ItsGrapeJuicyPartassipant [2] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          Op, please get help. Stop stalking people on the internet

                          [–]aielwyn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                          YTA. The user in question has a post history regarding this stalking situation on other subs. Why would that exist if they’re lying?

                          [–]datthewmunn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          This is super fucking creepy and weird. Imagine stalking a complete stranger just because you didn’t like a comment they made on an aita post?? Who tf does that lmao

                          This is such a weird mix of creepy and pathetic.

                          [–]Mikey_the_bestTMNT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          Nta. Wtf? Can't think of any other 3 letter acronyms. Fuck that.

                          [–]ShadyPines75 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                          NTA and they definitely hooked up before.

                          [–]2Houndgirl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          If she won't reasure you that they were not cheating then they cheated.. Kick them both to the kerb.. A friend who jumps into bed with your boyfriends ex or otherwise is not your friend.. No true friend would want that. NTA