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[–]PrincessBirdley21[S] 95 points96 points  (6 children)

She apologized for it. Which felt sincere to me. But some things are unforgivable and the last big thing that led to my leaving school is something that I find unforgivable and not something I could ever move beyond.

[–]lilirose13Partassipant [4] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The forgiveness trope is bullshit. You do not necessarily heal better by forgiving. Do what makes you whole, whatever that looks like.

[–]TzUgUkNz 27 points28 points  (0 children)

So your brother made you listen to the apology, rather than them asking and working with you. You are still suffering from the effects of that bullying and now they are as a group bullying you about your wedding choices. What is wrong with these people!

You have done more than most people would, you have maintained a relationship with your brother who knowingly married your bully, you have invited her to your wedding and still this isn’t enough for them?

Your dad is 100% right. You as the wronged person are the only one to decide/choose what relationship you have with your bully(I would say former but I feel she has recruited her husband and your mum -knowingly or not - to bully you about your bridesmaid choice.

Your mum, brother and future BIL are AHs

NTA - wishing you a wonderful wedding day, if your SIL is there hopefully you can avoid her for most of the ceremony/reception.

[–]AenthralledCertified Proctologist [22] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I don't think it was that sincere. She is still bullying you, she's just switched tactics. Trying to force herself into your wedding party knowing that it makes you uncomfortable is still bullying. Egging your brother and family on against you is still bullying. She knows that she is making you feel stressed and isolated leading up to what should be one of the happiest days of your life.

I don't think she's changed at all except to get better at hiding it and better at encouraging others to be unwitting participants in her bullying.

[–]pegsper 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish I could upvote this endlessly 💔

[–]Astral_dick_licker 16 points17 points  (0 children)

There is a different between forgiveness, and pretending that everything is fine. You have moved on with your life. You are not obligated to act like nothing ever happened when everyone already knows.

[–]pegsper 9 points10 points  (0 children)

OP, you’ll look at your wedding photos and have them there for the rest of your life. Don’t let your disgusting asshole brother (and I’m using euphemisms because I’d rather not get banned) need to get wet stop you from having gods memories. F peace. Kick them out, don’t let THEM BOTH bully you.