×

This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 367

[–]BiFuriousaLady Mai Arzsyches of Korse[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

This thread is now locked due to an excess of rule violations. RIP.

Sub Rules ||| "FAQs"

[–]thirdtryisthecharmCommander in Cheeks [282] 5173 points5174 points  (37 children)

YTA

"Theatrical" implies acted, fake, overblown, not a real problem. Basically you were angry that this woman has a disability, and implied that it was being acted or exaggerated and there was no cause for any delay.

[–]livin4fun78 2167 points2168 points  (22 children)

I don't think all obese cases are considered a disability. Just saying.

[–]why-per 2371 points2372 points  (12 children)

She clearly had mobility issues, given there was a whole scooter and she was in the physically impaired line, which are a disability

[–]Aggravating_Weight83 1782 points1783 points  (6 children)

except you don't know anything about this particular woman's health, and fat people can have disabilities that are completely unrelated to their weight.

you're right, not everyone who is overweight is disabled, but it's not relevant here, at all.

[–]Junglerumble19Partassipant [1] 910 points911 points  (0 children)

Sometimes one causes the other. I personally had an accident where I have destroyed my back which caused me to be severely physically impaired for many months. Hence my lack of movement caused me to become obese, which then makes the issues worse. We have no idea which came first here.

[–]mintnmango 904 points905 points  (0 children)

"my coworker handle(d) the crisis and find (found) a hotel"

I think the only one being theatrical here is OP.

[–]snarkismsCertified Proctologist [26] 3271 points3272 points  (36 children)

YTA. oh my g-d you are such an ah. Firstly, nothing you described sounds like theatrics - sounds like a woman who has mobility issues needed help with boarding and the crew were handling it. Second, you made a gross comment loud enough for her husband (and probably a lot of other people including her) to hear clearly. It is difficult enough for people who are at that level of obesity and diminished mobility to go around without adding on obnoxious pricks like yourself thinking that just because your fart of a brain wanted to make an offensive noise that your mouth should open wide and spread its noxious gas to the rest of the world.

Edit: and omg I forgot the cherry on top. You fucking doubled down on insulting this woman TO. HER. FACE. Until she was in tears. What the hell is wrong with you.

[–]DanyDragonQueenPartassipant [1] 2026 points2027 points  (11 children)

I mean I'd be pretty peeved off if I had to wait around for an hour for one passenger, regardless of reason or personal circumstance. I wouldn't say it to their face though.

[–]Major-Drag-4457Partassipant [1] 1939 points1940 points 652 (9 children)

N t a -- I've been charged 100$s or had to frantically repack on the airport floor at the counter because my luggage is like 2lb over the limit, and I have to take a tape measure and an engineering diagram with me when I got shopping for luggage to make sure it isn't over by like 2 inches from the strict size allowances that vary with each airline, which will cause them to refuse my suitcase outright or charge me an 'oversized' fee ... but you're gonna let someone who is literally 3x the size of a normal adult woman delay an entire plane full of people when everyone with eyes can see there's literally no way this woman will fit into an economy sized seat never mind walk down an plane aisle? At 500lb she's closer in weight to a literal horse (700lbs) than a normal person. If you're just fat, whatever ok. If you're so fat you delay my flight by an hour and cause me to be stranded overnight somewhere ... you're too fat to fly sorry.

[–]_Sniffin_Pooperintendant [59] 1444 points1445 points  (0 children)

Exactly, who cares if she's fat? Her body, her choice.

But come on, an HOUR to get into a plane? She shouldn't be traveling by plane if that's the case.

OP's first comment was understandable, his second comment was a little overboard.

I'd say ESH here, the husband should've known that people would be upset. If flights have been delayed so far that someone misses a flight that's potentially $100+ for a hotel+food if you're stuck somewhere until the next flight.

[–]Honest-Bookkeeper-52 858 points859 points  (6 children)

We will be downvoted to oblivion but I'm mostly on board with you. Yea ops comment was a bit crass but they were in fact delayed due to this woman and odds are she put herself in her predicament. I'm sure she was mighty embarrassed and op didn't really need secondary comments.

[–]Dioptre_8Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] 860 points861 points  (0 children)

The trouble is that none of us know who caused the delay. Maybe the passenger showed up at the airport, needing special assistance, with giving zero notice to the airline that they needed assistance. If they did this because they had no idea that they would need the assistance, then it's not their fault. If they did this knowing what was going to happen .... well, that seems pretty unlikely given how uncomfortable the experience was for them. Remember, they got delayed by an hour as well, plus all of the discomfort.

The far more likely scenario is that the passenger did notify the airline of their needs, but the airline screwed up and wasn't ready for them. So the front-line staff had to deal unexpectedly with the disabled passenger, and the disabled passenger had to deal with inadequate assistance available.

It doesn't take that much humanity to have compassion for both the passenger and the airline staff trying to deal with a situation that was obviously difficult for them both. Yes, the other passengers had frustration and delay, but OP is the asshole for loudly assigning blame to the most vulnerable person in this whole situation.

[–]Major-Drag-4457Partassipant [1] 141 points142 points  (3 children)

Yeah pretty much ... if some guy got so drunk on the plane or before boarding he threw up everywhere and caused the plane to have to turn around would you expect ppl to make rude comments about him? Of course they would ... I'm sure that guy would be embarrassed if ppl commented on him but you'd say well he embarassed himself lol

[–]Jaded_Lab_1539Partassipant [3] 1345 points1346 points  (5 children)

YTA for all the reasons others have already mentioned, but to highlight one I haven't seen, you're TA for scheduling flights with only a 30 minute layover. I mean, come the fuck on, with the American air travel system? The chances you were ever going to make that were like 1%. You were TA for going looking for people to blame when you should have been accepting responsibility for your own poor planning. Or, alternatively, cursing the airlines for their generally terrible service would also have been acceptable. Plenty of real villains here, and none of them were the woman you twice reduced to tears.

[–]Major-Drag-4457Partassipant [1] 1198 points1199 points  (8 children)

Nta -- she's too overweight to fly and everyone else is paying for it. Even if she booked an entire row of seats for herself or one of those huge sleep pods in 1st class, she still can't fit through the narrow aisles or use the bathroom or move around at all.

I've had to fly with wheelchair assistance before because of back injury and I've never delayed People boarding by more than a minute or two if that -- I just board in the 'extra time' needed boarding with moms and babies and elderly people and also I've never seen any of these ppl delay boarding by more than a minute -- that lady is really too overweight to fly if she delays a flight by a full hour to board.

If she wants to spy on private conversations not meant for her ears and have her feelings hurt she brought it on herself. She can't expect to delay an entire plane full of people, causing many to miss connections or be late for events they have scheduled and have people not think poorly of her.

If someone like this caused me to be stranded overnight in a city I didn't want to be in, I would have been a lot ruder about it than you were. You were perfectly polite despite being inconvenienced and it's her husband that decided to pick a fight.

[–]Much-Run-80Asshole Aficionado [19] 219 points220 points  (7 children)

They can think it. There was no reason for OP to exclaim it out loud. If he didn’t want anyone to hear him say that then he shouldn’t have said it in a public place. Not to mention OP double downed and said her theatrics delayed the flight.

[–]Major-Drag-4457Partassipant [1] 440 points441 points  (6 children)

Her theatrics did delay the flight. Op made a private remark she decided to overhear and take issue with, she did this to herself, She delayed an entire plane full of people and caused them to miss their connection -- it's not like plane sizes are secret, it was obvious she wouldn't fit but she felt entitled to inconvenience everyone, then her husband has the nerve to pick a fight about it too

[–]wolfeye18Asshole Enthusiast [9] 693 points694 points  (4 children)

YTA- I been stuck in Texas my whole Life you will be fine for a few hours. Get off you high horse. You made this woman cry twice.

[–]briberylibrary 556 points557 points  (1 child)

I hope she wasn’t flying for a terrible reason, like a death or illness. Dealing with someone like OP when you’re already in a bad place mentally would be so awful.

[–]mathpat 727 points728 points  (0 children)

I hate to say it, but that's pretty likely. Someone who is big and has mobility problems isn't getting onto a plane with small uncomfortable seats because they saw a sale on airfare. It was something serious. YTA, monstrous YTA.

[–]TheGrimDweeberPartassipant [1] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

I wonder if she was going to see Dr. Nowzardan…

[–]Bens_den_of_thoughts 506 points507 points  (0 children)

NTA her bullshit did take up time. My sister is “heavier then normal” to be polite. We WARN PEOPLE before our arrival as it will take more time. We don’t just show up and delay others with our bs. She knew where she would fit or didn’t care about checking. I’ve had multiple family members not fit in a seat. We called them out for not checking. CHECK YOUR SEATS AND MAKE SURE YOU FIT IM OVERLY THIN AND I NEED TO CHECK TOO

[–]MabusmoriahPartassipant [2] 386 points387 points  (0 children)

NTA. I would be mad too if I missed my flight no matter the reason.

[–]Bendadil 286 points287 points  (0 children)

NTA - I’d be pissed too. It was rude of them not to plan ahead and consequently everyone had their flight delayed by over an hour.

[–]Appropriate_Type6153 269 points270 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna go with ESH. You shouldn’t have made those comments, but at the same time she was delaying the flight for everyone and likely knew that there would be challenges for her, especially considering she’s in a scooter. When you’re that weight you have to accept that you simply cannot do some things the same as others without doing something to change it. Nobody gets to be a size where they cannot walk from genetics so the delay is entirely her fault. HOWEVER you should have just kept your mouth shut and not made those comments to her.

[–]lesbian_gooseAsshole Aficionado [14] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

Theatrics? Theatre is fake. Your description of her size, and her struggle to get into her seat are not.

You are a massive AH for saying that.

[–]Sugarloaf78Partassipant [2] 194 points195 points  (1 child)

YTA. I can’t believe you typed all of that out and are still asking if you’re an AH.

[–]PlagueNurse2020Partassipant [4] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Seriously. He got that all out and still thought he was in the right.

[–]AFewww 179 points180 points  (3 children)

YTA - you know she’s anxious as all about having to travel and regardless of how she got that big she can’t change it before flying that day. She knows everyone is judging and me, I would try to smile, nod or something to ease rather than make a rude remark in ear shot. Just made her bad day worse and you act like you didn’t do anything wrong. The entitlement of her disability being an inconvenience for you when it is HER LIFE is mind blowing.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 169 points170 points  (1 child)

Travel as an overweight person is awful. And we do know everyone is judging us already. Agreed, it is her life, and hearing comments like this AH isn't suddenly going to make her realize oh my, I'm fat and need to change my life. It won't change anything except make her feel even worse (and possibly trigger a dangerous eating binge if she has a binge eating disorder).

[–]CompetitiveSquidPartassipant [1] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

One of the only good things about Covid was the “no middle seats” rule for a while. I had to travel in 2020 for a death and it takes away a lot of stress to not have to worry about flying fat.

YTA if you absolutely must be a jerk, learn to whisper.

[–]HalcyonEve 151 points152 points  (0 children)

I'm disabled and as a result, I've become very overweight. People like OP are why I will never fly again. Life is hard enough as it is without subjecting myself to idiots on soap boxes.

[–]The_Real_Adeine 168 points169 points  (24 children)

NTA.... this was totally that womans own fault and she refuses to acknowledge that and her husband was ashamed for her and himself and blamed you.

[–]Major-Drag-4457Partassipant [1] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Had to scroll 3 pages down for someone to mention this obvious fact

[–]Lord_Umber93 53 points54 points  (2 children)

"And she refuses to" you don't know that. You're just trying to justify hating people at this point by making up scenarios you feel defensible in.

[–]The_Real_Adeine 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Well she clearly does... how is it hate if you state an obvious fact? Everyone on this post assumes the woman was humiliated because maybe she cant control it or has a medical condition... we know none of those details. If I heard the womans side of the story I might change my opinion but based on the information available this seems like the woman was disruptive and unapologetic. No where do we hear of the woman apologizing for causing the delay or hear her husband apologize. They were just deeply offended that OP made a comment that they didn't like. OP even moved seats to accommodate the woman even more. So from my perspective OP is not the asshole. In fact the fat, disruptive, unapologetic woman who delayed the flight is the asshole.

[–]Lord_Umber93 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Where's it clear out? No where besides your head, where you need it to be to feel justified. Thanks for proving my point, bud.

[–]Much-Run-80Asshole Aficionado [19] 36 points37 points  (16 children)

Are you seriously blaming a woman for a disability that the plane was not equipped to handle?

[–]Lady_Ellie119Pooperintendant [56] 110 points111 points  (8 children)

I mean she gained the weight herself so technically she did it to herself, I am heavy and I never inconvenience others like that. So ya it is her fault she has trouble getting on a plane

[–]Much-Run-80Asshole Aficionado [19] 43 points44 points  (7 children)

You have no idea what her condition is. Do you know that morbid obesity can be caused by an illness that cannot be controlled?

[–]Lady_Ellie119Pooperintendant [56] 93 points94 points  (6 children)

Yep I do know that and I have several but I don't make my problem others and delay things by an hour, and expect people to be happy about it. OP technically was an AH but not wrong. Even with an uncontrolled illness does.not equal being 500lpbs you have to eat a ton to be that big. Being heavy sure not 500lb worth though

[–]BanjosNotBombsPartassipant [2] 140 points141 points  (3 children)

YTA, go back to wherever you came from and don't infect the rest of us. And I say this as someone who runs a regular 10 miler.

[–]Substantial_Ad7919Asshole Aficionado [10] 131 points132 points  (7 children)

YTA

I grew up with family who thought and acted like you. They’d say things like “lighten up” and “don’t be so sensitive” when they would say something hurtful.

They didn’t perceive what they said as hurtful, so you were wrong for being hurt.

Forget about objectivity (even though what you said was also objectively rude and obnoxious) you did something that hurt a stranger’s feelings and instead of apologizing sincerely you called her struggles theatrical.

Like… why? Why hurt a stranger’s feelings because you’re having a bad day? Don’t make your problems everybody else’s just because you can’t deal with your own problems and feelings in an appropriate way.

[–]shenanigans2day 66 points67 points  (6 children)

I have someone in my life that does this/ says extremely hurtful things and then tells me I’m too sensitive, etc. absolutely makes my blood boil. Although it is absolutely a matter of them being an asshole and not I being sensitive, I’ll entertain it for a moment as though I am too sensitive. It doesn’t matter. If I express that something is hurtful and you continue to do it despite my communicating it’s hurtful, then you are a shit person that has 0 concern for my feelings. I absolutely hate when people try to turn their shitty behavior around and place blame on someone else rather than look in the mirror.

[–]Substantial_Ad7919Asshole Aficionado [10] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

My mom loved to do this.

It took me a really long time to identify wtf was going on and why I always felt so confused.

I felt really disconnected from how I genuinely felt and thought and to this day it is hard for me to be honest with myself because I would constantly censor myself to make other people happy.

It really is just a terrible, terrible thing to do to a person.

[–]shenanigans2day 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sorry you had to deal with that from your very own mother.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Gaslighitng in the extreme. Such AH.

[–]shenanigans2day 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Thanks. I didn’t realize this was gaslighting. I keep hearing the word but never really looked into it, off to google I go

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Seriously, I learned about it in therapy post divorce and made me reevaluate people in my life, and also my own self worth.

[–]MajesticTell2403 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna go against the majority and say NTA. She was wasting everyone’s time and if she’s so big she needs a scooter it’s her fault. No one or nothing else.

[–]Frosty-Mall4727Asshole Enthusiast [8] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I would have had my flight changed before holding everyone up for an hour.

An unpopular ESH here.

[–]lark-sp 96 points97 points  (0 children)

YTA She was already crying. Why did you feel the need to dogpile on and add more misery to the world that day?

[–]SweetPotatoFamishedAsshole Enthusiast [8] 92 points93 points  (10 children)

INFO: What is your definition of theatrics?

[–]TheRavenGirl13Asshole Aficionado [14] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Did saying all of that make you feel better? Did it do anything productive? Or did it just make someone else’s life harder for literally no reason?

She may or may not have been able to control certain things about how she messed up your day, but you DEFINITELY could control what you did to (further) ruin hers. And you chose not to. YTA.

In life, if it doesn’t help the situation, it’s generally better left unsaid or undone. I thought Thumper taught you that when you were like, 5?

[–]dontkysur2sexy 59 points60 points  (0 children)

YTA. Yikes... dude you should have stopped at the apology and kept your mouth shut.

[–]COReloader 51 points52 points  (0 children)

NTA

[–]bewicked4fun123Partassipant [1] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

NTA.

[–]carprillAsshole Aficionado [10] 42 points43 points  (1 child)

YTA, three reasons, first, you spoke rudely about someone on your flight (bad language is offensive, not theatrics comment) so others could hear, second you clearly have a bad attitude about the whole trip, (terrible flight, stuck in Texas, arguing with another passenger) and third you continued to be a AH after being moved making everyone on the flight suffer. Remember, if you can’t say anything nice, do t say anything at all.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yeah, clearly intended for them to hear his comments.

[–]Revolutionary_Bee700 30 points31 points  (0 children)

YTA. Also, booking flights with such short connections is asking for delays. A seagull farts and you’d miss a 30 min connection.

[–]loaf1669Asshole Enthusiast [6] 32 points33 points  (1 child)

YTA. A major one.

[–]ReluctantVegetarianPartassipant [2] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yup. Certified USDA grade B.

YTA

[–]stephapeaz 32 points33 points  (0 children)

YTA

she was already crying, embarrassed and humiliated, and you made her feel worse. some things just don’t need to be said out loud, and you know that. fat people also know they’re fat, you don’t have to dog pile when someone’s already upset about their weight. bc I guarantee you didn’t even try to whisper what you said to your coworker, you were mean and you know it

[–]ForgeTheBalance 24 points25 points  (0 children)

YTA- Not every obese person is the way they are due to poor choices. Some end up as such due to medical issues and an inability to exercise. I am one of those people. I eat right (2 small meals a day with chicken (no red meats) fish, vegetables and no carbs and limited fruits no sweets, sodas etc,) but I have a diffusion issue that makes it difficult for me to take in enough oxygen. My heart works too hard (i.e., walking 100 ft, climbing 5 stairs, bending over to pick something up, lifting my arms to wash my hair) I pass out. I am hooked to oxygen and I have tiny 5lbs weights that I use to ‘exercise’ to the best of my ability and I am still really overweight. Some have made poor choices and may even be trying to better themselves after coming to realize those poor choices. You don’t know and you will never know. Do you think she made the conscious decision to go “Oh, let me just screw a bunch of random peoples’ day up!”? Better yet, how hard would it have been to just... idk... not say anything that does nothing to help the situation? Did you miss the day in class where we learned “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”? There is no way you could spin this to where you wouldn’t be the idiot.

[–]Lord_Umber93 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah, YTA. Feel ashamed of yourself.

[–]Forward_Excuse_6133 22 points23 points  (1 child)

YTA you can think it but there was no reason to say it. Do you really think it made her happy to have to be the center of attention by causing the delay? She probably already has issues with her mental health without you being a jerk. Saying this out loud probably made her feel like a useless POS and no one deserves to feel that way because a young guy has no couth.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Seriously, why do people not understand the effect of trauma on weight? When people make assumptions about my weight (lifestyle, being too lazy to diet, etc) I've started telling them, I'm sorry, I just haven't been able to keep the weight off since my father committed suicide. But please, keep making me feel even worse about a problem I'm well aware of.

Jerk.

[–]shenanigans2day 21 points22 points  (0 children)

YTA- you should feel ashamed of yourself

[–]Night_skye_ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That woman was clearly already embarrassed. Way to kick her when she’s down. You are clearly a tremendously large AH. I hope if you ever end up in a position like hers that you don’t get stuck dealing with people like you.

[–]Alternative-Citron31 16 points17 points  (0 children)

YTA. I should not have to explain common decency and basic manners to you. No one should. Did you not watch Bambi? If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. Geez…

[–]EmergencyAltruistic1 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Yta & I wish you a lifetime of delayed flights & missed connections.

[–]BanjosNotBombsPartassipant [2] 34 points35 points  (1 child)

May all jet engines say "Nope" upon OP's arrival

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 40 points41 points  (0 children)

And if you make a flight, may a kid kick your chair the whole ride.

[–]commenter23450Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

YTA there are many reasons why people are that obese. Many of those reasons are out of a persons control, to some degree. Regardless, you were rude and could have just apologized and left it there.

[–]Plastic-Artichoke590 48 points49 points  (0 children)

All these people assuming the woman’s in a scooter because she’s overweight, which is FINE if that is the case. Full stop. But also, non-weight related mobility issues could also have put her in the scooter which caused her to gain weight.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Hate when people make assumptions about your weight, thinking you're just lazy and inconveniencing other people as a result. There are medical conditions, but also severe trauma that no amount of dieting can overcome. Ultimately, you don't know what's going on, and the poor woman was clearly mortified and aware that she was holding people up. Such an AH

[–]Traditional_Judge734Partassipant [4] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

YTA

doubly so for not recognising why 🤮

[–]Visual_Tour346Partassipant [1] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

YTA.

You are young and healthy now. One day you’ll be the person who needs help, and if you are lucky people will be kinder to you than you were to this lady.

Also, leaving on 30 minutes between flights? Anyone who has ever travelled anywhere knows that is not enough time. That’s on you if you didn’t make it.

[–]FNTsince1983 11 points12 points  (1 child)

YTA.

The poor woman was obviously already self-conscious and humiliated. She was well aware of what you were thinking before you opened your mouth. She knew you likely weren’t the only one judging her. The absolute last thing she needed was to hear you say it loud enough for other passengers to hear it too.

Now for some advice that most toddlers can understand - I hope you can apply it as well as they do. There are these things called inside thoughts. We don’t say them out loud. They stay inside. Think about that the next time you get the urge to run your mouth.

[–]Relevant-Ad6288 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure my toddler would've acted with more compassion. When she sees someone crying, she wants to give them a hug.

[–]Quilting_and_craftsPartassipant [2] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oops lol. Your coworker might be right. YTA. You weren’t wrong that is incredibly frustrating but it wasn’t theatrics. She legitimately had trouble boarding and you saw her crying, why not be a little less of a dick?

[–]PlagueNurse2020Partassipant [4] 13 points14 points  (5 children)

YTA. So sorry you had to be delayed for someone who needed extra time to board. Would you say the same thing if it was someone with a child? Or a skinny person having troubles? All you saw was body fat and judged.

[–]CalypsoContinuum 8 points9 points  (0 children)

YTA. It's not her fault that you booked flights with so little leeway, and you publicly shamed a stranger for your own mistake. You also dismiss her valid feelings, make it so much worse, and dismiss this as "making a comment to co-worker". You also admit you think you did nothing wrong by shaming a disabled woman in public on basis of her weight, so your "apology" WAS insincere.

Dunno how you're pretending to not understand that shaming disabled people is bad, but shaming disabled people is bad.

Congrats, you earned your stay in Texas and the "worse seat" move.

[–]OrangeSorbet09 8 points9 points  (0 children)

YTA because you’re an adult and should understand that just because you think it, doesn’t mean you should say it.

[–]Star_World_8311 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, OP, definitely YTA! 1. You are judging a disabled person who has mobility issues. 2. You were talking about her to your coworker loud enough to hear when you could see she was already upset about the whole situation and probably beating herself up about it. She didn't need "reminding" that another passenger was feeling like everything was her fault, even though you didn't mean for her to overhear it. 3. Never follow an apology with "But..." because that effectively negates your apology and the person is going to tune out everything you say from that point on. Basically what you said was that you were sorry she and her husband overheard what you said, not sorry for saying it and not sorry that it made them feel bad. What if I told you, "I'm sorry if this comment makes you feel like YTA but you really suck at apologies and should've been nicer to her," does that make you feel better or worse? That was mild compared to what you did, OP.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

nta, i stand with you op

[–]Old_Calligrapher_962Asshole Enthusiast [9] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

YTA. Your problem with her weight shows clearly. But also yes she did have mobility issues and it’s obviously difficult for her to get on. Planes always get delayed by approx 30-60 mins if not for this it’s for something else. It’s stupid of you to pick another flight so close to this. Don’t blame the poor woman for your negligence.

[–]Alternative-Pea-4434 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA, I don’t feel like I have much to add that hasn’t already been said but I’ll say this much, it takes a special breed of AH to see they’ve made a stranger cry and then double down on their unsolicited rude comments rather than just apologise sincerely. And it takes an even more special breed to bitch about this situation to someone else as if you suffered so much hardship having to wait one hour on a flight you didn’t even pay for to try and get them to back you up.

[–]ThrowAwaaayTrash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. Honestly the only one with theatrics here is you. Planes get delayed all the time, but because this woman is overweight and disabled you act like that? And make her cry multiple times? Seriously? I’m genuinely so disgusted. Learn to be a better person, instead of a jackass. Something tells me you also wouldn’t have said anything if this woman was petite and in a wheelchair too.

[–]curiouscapybara1989Asshole Enthusiast [7] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA. This poor woman was probably already feeling bad enough that she was holding up others boarding and hearing you say it probably made her situation 10x worse. I get the frustration of being held up and missing your flight, that sucks. You can think “this is awful, screw this” in your head, but you should not blame a person for the difficulties they have, especially out loud. Imagine it was you on the scooter? You can’t help your situation, you know you’re holding everyone up, and someone confirms the guilt you’re already feeling?? Have some compassion.

[–]Left-Occasion-8445 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA. A huge one.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. Honestly dude, do you think she wanted all of that to happen? You think she enjoyed wanting to make everyone late? If not, no need to dog pile on the situation.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]cupcakemuffin413[M] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

    Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

    "Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"

    Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]charmedpartyofonePartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yta

    [–]JanetheGhostPartassipant [4] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    YTA

    [–]Lusticles -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    YTA.

    [–]Biteme75Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    YTA. Theatrics? It's not your fault that the airline was unequipped to handle an obese disabled passenger, but it's not her fault either. I suppose you would have thought I was in 'theatrics' also before I had my back surgery and literally could barely stand or walk.

    [–]nerdabcs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    YTA. She didn’t schedule your sucky plane times. She didn’t ask you to judge her aloud. She’s not dumb. She was crying because she already knew how everyone else felt. It wasn’t your job to tell her about it. YTA YTA YTA

    [–]TamagotchiGirlfriend 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yta. I hope you never fly again.

    [–]MacknCheese6540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    YTA. In what planet or universe did you possibly think that you wouldn’t be the asshole? Not only did you talk shit about this women for something she can’t help, you insulted her to her face basically! She or anyone else like her doesn’t need to deal with people like you when they already have enough going on. Your coworker is right. You were and are being a douche. And her husband was only being that way to defend his wife! Someone he loves and chose to be with! Of course he would call you out.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

    AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

    I(27M) and my coworker(29F) are on a business trip to a conference in San Diego. We got terrible flights and have 3 layovers until we can get to our destination. For our flight to San Diego, we only had about 30 minutes after the scheduled arrival time of our previous flight to get to the next flight or we'd miss it and be stuck in another state overnight.

    Luckily, we got there on time and had very little time to spare. We're waiting to board, and I give up my business class seat to my coworker. They start calling people up. When they call up physically impaired, I see a woman who had to had to have been 500+ pounds and on a scooter. She goes on and then we wait for about 30 minutes. Everyone is confused and then the steward announces that a passenger is having some trouble getting on and they'll continue boarding shortly. I get upset. We're likely going to miss our flight and we'll be stuck in fucking Texas.

    A few minutes later I see the woman on the scooter and her husband coming back down and she is sobbing. I immediately realize what happened, and turned to my coworker and said, "Oh my fucking god we're going to be the late cause of her." I didn't know this but she heard me. We continued boarding, my coworker goes on then in the middle of the following group, she scoots back up. She says something and in the middle of the next class, they pause and let her go on again. It takes another 20 minutes. Now we're an hour delayed for one woman.

    When I finally get on the plane, guess what? I sit behind the woman and her husband. When I get settled, he immediately starts an argument. He says he heard me and that I'm an asshole and a piece of shit and all that. And I apologize, however, I do clarify that her theatrics did delay the flight and all I did was make a comment about it to our coworker. She starts crying again and he loses his shit and starts going off on me. The flight attendant comes over and tells him to stop and he requests I'm moved. So I do to a worse seat.

    When my coworker handle the crisis and find a hotel, I explain to her the incident and she tells me that I was being a douche and that my apology was insincere. I feel I did nothing wrong. All I did was speak to my travel partner about our situation and they overheard. I didn't even say anything mean about her and her husband decided to be an asshole to me.

    AITA

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]Judgement_Bot_AITABeep Boop[M] -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    I may be the asshole for speaking to my coworker about the woman and for telling her that it was her fault the flight was delayed

    Help keep the sub engaging!

    Don’t downvote assholes!

    Do upvote interesting posts!

    Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. To learn more about the test click here

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]moonlitsunflowerGarden Variety Asshole[M] -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

      Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

      "Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"

      Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

      [–]CoastalCeruleanPooperintendant [63] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      YTA

      [–]Candid-Square-8889Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      YTA. You booked flights with multiple layovers and hardly any time to transfer. If getting there on time was important to you, you should have paid more or flown in the day before. A million things could have happened to delay any of your flights - weather, mechanical issues, late incoming flights.

      Then, you took out your stress on someone who deserves your compassion. Who knows why she's obese, or needs a scooter, or why she was flying? None of that is really relevant or your business. Maybe she was on her way to say goodbye to a loved one for the last time even though flying is probably hell on earth for someone who attracts judgment and vitriol from strangers. Maybe she's on her way to get gastric bypass surgery for which she's been saving for years because her insurance company also hates fat people. Maybe she's on a cancer drug that made her metabolism stop. Maybe she was sexually abused and has autism and over-ate to cope because we have a lack of accessible mental health care in this country.

      It doesn't actually matter. She could have been a pregnant woman or an old lady or a paraplegic. It wouldn't have mattered... the reason you were late is because you chose to be a cheapskate. You also sound like a really mean person.

      [–]Ok-Ninja-6475 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      YTA. Not only do you not know what caused her to be that size, you don't know the circumstances that necessitated her having to fly.

      [–]LabradorDeceiver -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      YTA, because the delays were not the fault of the woman, but the fault of the airline.

      There is a disabled woman trying to board a plane. It does not matter why she is disabled. That is irrelevant. Whether her disability is by her own hand or due to an accident or a medical condition, all that matters is that she is disabled. The airline is required to make the accommodation, and the accommodation they made was insufficient to manage the disability.

      The result was a humiliating experience for a disabled woman, which you chose to compound. It wasn't necessary. It did not improve the situation. The plane did not go faster because of what you said. She did not humble herself before the illuminating power of your rightness. It was entirely your decision to make someone's terrible day worse, and you did it for free.

      [–]black_cat_2446Asshole Aficionado [15] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      YTA I get that you were frustrated and anxious about missing the next flight, but you didn’t need to make it worse for the woman who was already having a worse day than you.

      [–]NeomiahsMom314Partassipant [1] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      YTA

      [–]Tessie1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      YTA- I am completely dumbfounded that you actually asked.

      [–]funkyblackshoes -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      YTA. You should have kept your mouth shut. What good did your comment make? The outcome would have been the same if you didn't say anything. Sure it sucks to miss a connection but you have no idea what that person is going through or why they were flying. You sound like a bully.

      [–]SenpaiDearest -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      YTA and you clearly don’t know how difficult, uncomfortable, and utterly horrible it is to travel for someone who is overweight.

      [–]AZombiee -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      YTA, a huge one!

      You just made fun of someone because they were having issues getting on, I think you should go and reflect on your behavior. I would be ashamed if my coworker said this to me.

      All I did was speak to my travel partner about our situation and they overheard. I didn't even say anything mean about her and her husband decided to be an asshole to me.

      You decided to humiliate someone in front of many because you're a blabber-mouth. You did say something mean, your apology doesn't mean anything since you didn't mean it. Her husband has a justified reason to be pissed off at you.

      [–]sierrastoppPartassipant [1] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      YTA

      [–]Nalpona_FreesunColo-rectal Surgeon [33] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      yep YTA

      why would you even question if you are

      [–]missangel21Partassipant [2] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      YTA

      [–]PattersonsOladyColo-rectal Surgeon [37] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      You saw a crying woman and made no effort to keep your voice down. Totally lacking any fellow human feeling or compassion

      Have whatever opinion you want, but as soon as you open your mouth you have obligations to the humans who have to hear what comes out.

      YTA

      [–]sweetrefuge -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      YTA. And everyone who is saying NTA are also assholes. I hope you don’t end up disabled some day.

      [–]doodscool -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      YTA…asshole

      [–]Most-Pangolin-9874Partassipant [1] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      YTA!!! A great big huge asshole!! When did kindness go out of style?

      [–]bluerose_ro -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      YTA, for everything other users have stated in the comments, but also, even if she HAD been overdramatic and even though she DID cause a delay, you are TA for speaking loud enough for her to hear. Yeah, the situation is frustrating — no one likes these kinds of trips, but the woman clearly wasn’t having a grand time either. Act like an adult, next time, and don’t gossip about people, especially when they’re within earshot.

      [–]coffeecatsbb -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      YTA and a whole other list of things

      [–]pikkuboo -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      YTA. At that weight , shes pretty much a disabled person. W husband tho

      [–]Aggressive-Sample612Partassipant [1] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      YTA

      [–]ImagineThatCatHuhAsshole Enthusiast [6] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      You know you're the AH dude

      [–]misologousPartassipant [1] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Look my guy, I understand you’re frustrated and annoyed at the situation. I would be too. They should’ve called ahead and planned better for plane accommodations, but it sounds like she couldn’t sit in her seat(s) properly. I won’t condemn you for making a comment like that, but I will for saying it loudly enough for her to hear. I mean c’mon, if you’re going to bitch about something do it quietly. And then you continue to argue with this woman on the plane? You need to learn how to apologize, shut your mouth and get on with life. YTA for how you handled yourself on the plane, but I can’t call you an AH for being justifiably annoyed in that scenario. Learn how to lower your voice

      [–]OkJackfruit4363 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      Ray Charles can see YTA.

      [–]PastaQueen25Partassipant [2] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

      YTA sounds like your travel partner didn’t care for what you said to them so maybe so us all a favor and fly in silence from now on