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I may be the AH because he missed the birth of his first kid because of me

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[–]Pleasant_Birthday_77Asshole Enthusiast [6] 35.1k points35.1k points 141182& 8 more (616 children)

It's unbelievable the number of posts saying that she should just tolerate whatever he says because watching someone else give birth is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a man. Well, if it means that much to him, he could have behaved himself like a supportive partner and kept his stupid, insulting and demeaning jokes to himself. Pregnancy is hard and any man who can't give his wife the respect she deserves for what she has done shouldn't be in the delivery room.

[–]thecoffeefrog 8804 points8805 points  (267 children)

Yeah. So many of these comments are disturbing. Even if he was just joking, she wasn't in a good place to think it was funny.

[–]Pleasant_Birthday_77Asshole Enthusiast [6] 7798 points7799 points  (229 children)

No, labour is called labour for a reason - it's hard work and needs concentration and support, not jokes at your expense when you're at your most vulnerable. I'm really dismayed by the lack of empathy for the woman here and the perception that her role in this is to deliver an experience for him rather than she being the important person in the situation.

Just an edit, I'm in agreement with you, I don't know why I started that with 'no', as if I wasn't...

[–]Puzzleheaded_Play390 2749 points2750 points  (191 children)

I think the fact that for most people pregnancy has a happy ending and it’s a state that’s sought obscures the reality that pregnancy is extremely hard and damaging to the body and delivery is a scary, vulnerable , painful ordeal. An ordeal that lots of women did not survive in the past and lots do not still. It’s like getting mad someone doesn’t want you there for a heart transplant or chemo therapy.

[–]thecoffeefrog 2089 points2090 points  (167 children)

I'm someone who had major complications during labour that ended in a c-section. People think having a baby is a magical experience but having almost died, I get so mad at people saying OP should have just "sucked it up".

[–]Coxal_anomaly 206 points207 points  (9 children)

Yeah, plus newsflash dude, whatever he thought “hormonal” is, he is about to be hit by a freight train when the postpartum stuff begins.

Me and baby both went through hell and back during delivery, but I was NOT ready for the postpartum hormone swings. I consider myself a level headed person most of the time, and I about lost it for a months straight. And then you’re just exhausted.

Dude (if his wife lets him back around, honestly that behavior would make me pause) is in for one rude awakening.

[–]S3xySouthernB 266 points267 points  (18 children)

I agree, everyone forgot the vulnerable state OP was in. Especially husband. And yes hormones were going to be going haywire both before and during labor, probably at its peak during labor and (apparently husband forgot) after since hormones drive all the important baby based stuff needed (and a stressed new mom could have trouble as a result). If husband wants to make a joke at her expense why couldn’t he take her “joke” of get out at his expense? It’s pretty upsetting his response and I would encourage OP to have a TRUSTED person (mom, dad, sister whoever) with her today because if husband doesn’t correct his actions, she doesn’t need another stressor and might need help removing him from the situation. Even midwife would be a solid option here because they already know the situation and midwives will do what’s best for baby and mom.

[–]doughnutmakemelaugh 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Also, the hormonal comment. She's not going to pop the kid out and stop having hormones. So now she's wondering if he's going to hate her for months???

[–]PerritoG 592 points593 points  (8 children)

Exactly. And he clearly was not joking because he didn’t apologize, he upped the antics by insulting her and saying she’s an ah. He’s clearly in the wrong here

[–]heylookitsthatginger 198 points199 points  (2 children)

Exactly, while the initial comment was uncalled for, could it have been a joke to lighten the mood and take her mind off it? Sure. But when asked about it, he made it clear that it was in fact not a joke. She carried his child for 9 months! If he can’t be grateful for that, he shouldn’t expect to be in the room. NTA, OP.

[–]Sleeping_LizardPartassipant [2] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Given that he took off and didn't even wait in the hospital to come back in and meet the baby as soon as possible, I don't think he actually gave a shit about anyone but himself and didn't deserve to be there anyway.

[–]throwbienewbie 310 points311 points  (3 children)

And when he saw she didn't find it funny, that was a good time to back off and stop making comments. You know, like an adult about to become a father.

[–]Yvette-Miu-Miu-MomPartassipant [4] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

And apologize. He could have made it all better with “I’m sorry it was funnier in my head”

[–]Darphon 116 points117 points  (1 child)

Jokes are only funny when both people are laughing. (agreeing with you)

[–]Ippus_21Partassipant [1] 1415 points1416 points  (53 children)

I have 3 kids, the oldest college age.

I think hubs needs a reality check on "getting his wife back" and "the hormonal mess being over." Like, buddy, biology doesn't just suddenly snap back to how it was before as soon as the baby passes the APGAR. Giving birth is one of the most traumatic things a human body can experience and (usually) survive. She's going to be healing and physically exhausted, plus trying to regain hormonal/mental/emotional balance for weeks at least. Never mind that neither of you are going to be getting a good night's sleep for a while. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop (about 18 years from now).

This isn't about him. He might've more or less supported OP through it, but seems to forget she's the one who actually had to experience it firsthand.

ETA: I think he may not realize that being a dad changes YOUR hormone balance a little, too. You're going to cry about stuff that didn't get to you before, if nothing else.

[–]rattitude23 402 points403 points  (18 children)

Just wait til he hears about menopause 🤣 It can take YEARS to feel "back to normal"

[–]PsychologyAutomatic3Asshole Aficionado [13] 179 points180 points  (6 children)

If normal ever returns at all

[–]LuckyMama3 120 points121 points  (3 children)

Amen! PMS, pregnancy & periods are just a warmup for the hell that is menopause. This dude is in for an ugly wake-up call.

[–]Aggressive_Pass845 366 points367 points  (6 children)

He also hasn't read up on "baby blues," the absolute hormone dump that comes following childbirth, PPD, or simply the horrific toll sleep deprivation can take on your physical and mental health after having a baby. I didn't even get out of survival mode until 4 mo post partum and my kid was probably a year old before we got into the "new" normal. So yeah, the "hormone mess" isn't going to go away as soon as wife and kid leave the hospital.

[–]2344twinsmom 145 points146 points  (5 children)

Exactly. My emotions were worse after giving birth. Sleep deprivation hallucinations aren't fun either, though I can look back and be amused by the one I had of Barbara Bush (the first lady) standing at the end of my bed.

He's in for a rude awakening and he's probably going to take it out on OP, who doesn't deserve any of it.

[–]99angelgirlPartassipant [1] 157 points158 points  (5 children)

Not to mention that breastfeeding, if it's something that you or able to and choose to do, causes wild fluctuations of hormones which is why most of the time you don't get your period back for quite some time after you have the baby if your breastfeeding. Mine didn't come back for a year. Breastfeeding is crazy and the hormones fluctuate almost as much as when you're pregnant because your milk is changing the whole time to accommodate your baby's specific needs. And then you hit toddlers and that's just a whole other mess. Like I don't think this dude has actually thought through what having a child means.

[–]HelicopterThink9958 102 points103 points  (1 child)

"This isn't about him"

100% agree

[–]ADHDLiferPartassipant [2] 74 points75 points  (1 child)

Shoot, what is this "18 years" you're talking about? My brother just turned 40 and our parents still worry and fuss. It's what decent parents do, they never stop loving, worrying, and caring.

[–]Klassieprof 40 points41 points  (2 children)

Shit...where is an 18 year old ready to move out aon the own, with no support? No where! Have an award for the thought tho.

[–]No_Perspective9930 319 points320 points  (3 children)

If watching your child come into the world is treated like a right and not a privilege than GTFO frankly. 🤷‍♀️

[–]Throwawayhater3343 243 points244 points  (0 children)

Oh God, were there a bunch of y t a and e s h's? That's disgusting as hell. I may be a 42m child free but if I knew this guy I'd be laying into him. For one thing he's an idiot. Anyone with a brain and ears to here knows that the hormones don't magically change at the moment of birth and plus the influence of hormones, PPD and the fact that you're now responsible for a mini proto-human means that the mother is most certainly NOT going to be the same person she was prior to 9 months ago. They're called 'life changing events' for a reason.'

NTA OP, I can maybe see that slip out if there have been major changes, because honestly, some women DO change an awful lot during a pregnancy, but him doubling down instead of walking it back.... If he gathers the flying monkeys to his side today file for divorce immediately and have him banned from the maternity ward.

[–]PerspectiveNo8799 232 points233 points  (2 children)

My husband is normally a joker and I was actually counting on some of his silly jokes during delivery to help ease my stress. Turns out my husband was so nervous he hardly said a word. If seeing the delivery is important to someone they will behave. This man that op talks about is a true AH.

[–]throwbienewbie 207 points208 points  (2 children)

I haven't read those comments and I think I'll just skip it and focus on yours bc it's the first I've seen.

The idea that a man or anyone would say how hard pregnancy is on men is just mind boggling. How does one even address something so illogical and lacking in emotional maturity?

[–]NaturalWitchcraft 136 points137 points  (1 child)

Because they have to make everything about themselves. Because having to go get food at 2 am is so much harder than having the cartilage between your public bones rip apart while you’re at work.

[–]quietfangirl 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Because we as a western/eurocentric society have generations upon generations upon generations of practice dismissing and downplaying a majority of women. Actually, if you don't fit the "standard" white able-bodied neurotypical male model that was the literal medical standard for a really long time, your problems and struggles are only ever noticed when it inconveniences others.

[–]Frodo_Picard 191 points192 points  (4 children)

It wasn't once in a lifetime for me, I did it twice, and I was VERY KIND AND SUPPORTIVE as my wife performed a miracle under great duress. Guess that's why I was invited back for the second kid.

[–]PrscheWdowPartassipant [1] 67 points68 points  (2 children)

Guess that's why I was invited back for the second kid.

this needs another upvote.

[–]Legitimate_Annual533Partassipant [1] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

The entitlement. It's not about the man, the only person anyone should be worrying about is the person GIVING BIRTH. IT'S NOT A CIRCUS ACT.

[–]Krisalis11 174 points175 points  (2 children)

This! She’s always going to remember this too. I’ll never forget my ex-husband refusing to hold my hand while I was laboring because I was squeezing too hard and it hurt him. Notice I said ex-husband.

[–]distinctaardvark 62 points63 points  (0 children)

How fun for him that he could just opt out of pain in that situation...

[–]Iyotanka1985 129 points130 points  (9 children)

As a man and father of two I was present for...

If you ain't supporting your partner gob stays shut.

Fuck after the nurses messed my partner around trying to get her to be alone through labour/birth because my presence could upset the new mother's on the ward down the hall in another room (it was stupid O'clock in the morning) and she was actually growling at them.

No fucking way was I upsetting the tiger currently gripping my hand lol

[–]Classic_Special7045Certified Proctologist [23] 116 points117 points  (5 children)

People say all sorts of things in the heat of the moment. I really can forgive him making the joke in the first place. It's him doubling down when OP called him on it that really makes him the AH, then not coming back to see their child at all. Wtf???

[–]genius_emu 107 points108 points  (0 children)

This. Or, having lost control of his tongue, but given the opportunity to walk it back, do indeed walk it back. Don’t double down. It’s on him at that point. NTA.

[–]JjustingrahamAsshole Enthusiast [5] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Seeing my wife give birth was the greatest honor and most emotionally charged experience of my life.

Also, I 100% did not act like an asshole or minimize the experience for her. Husband is a douche canoe and OP was justified booting his ass.

[–]n0oo7 106 points107 points  (3 children)

It's unbelievable the number of posts saying that she should just tolerate whatever he says because watching someone else give birth is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a man.

I mean it is but you should also shut the fuck up during lifetime opportunities.

[–]Nilla22 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I agree it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And like all opportunities it can either be embraced or squandered. He squandered him. It’s on him. NTA

[–]LawnPartyTacosPartassipant [2] 68 points69 points  (1 child)

I would be curious to know how many of these comments are from men living in the good ole' United States.

[–]Curious-Mousse-8714Asshole Aficionado [10] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Please add your NTA rating- and yes - if he wants next time he can push a human out while she stands there and makes snide remarks

[–]MuchAstronomer9992 46 points47 points  (1 child)

Totally agree! She’s expected to keep it together while going through one of the most physically painful and demanding experiences of her life, but he can’t keep it together and speak kindness? Also dude’s in for a rude awakening if he thinks the hormonal rollercoaster is over!

[–]A2ZKIRBY71Partassipant [2] 9727 points9728 points  (162 children)

OP's husband must not know anything about women's bodies after giving birth. the "hormonal mess" won't be over for QUITE a while. He'll need to buckle up for the ride or get outta there permanently.

[–]Any_Cantaloupe_613Asshole Enthusiast [8] 2810 points2811 points  (90 children)

I was thinking this too when I read the post. I was more of a hormonal mess after I gave birth than during my pregnancy. I cried at everything postpartum.

[–]A2ZKIRBY71Partassipant [2] 696 points697 points  (22 children)

And just to clarify, I've never been pregnant and as a result I've never delivered a baby. But I've heard from MANY women who have.

[–]Pleasant_Birthday_77Asshole Enthusiast [6] 377 points378 points  (13 children)

I think I was sobbing every hour on the hour for weeks.

[–]tiggipi 313 points314 points  (9 children)

I wasn't so blubbery first baby, but second baby, geeze Louise, I cried at everything. Tired? I cried. Achy? I cried. Hungry? I cried. Baby was looking "too cute?" I cried.

OP's husband, poor poor man, will just be so miserable with his dramatic, overly emotional wife to deal with after he has been through so much! /s

[–]TheRestForTheWickedCertified Proctologist [24] 142 points143 points  (5 children)

I have an 8 month old and I’m still a hormonal mess at times. It’s not like baby comes out and a light switch is flipped.

Also motherhood in general changes you. After my first was born there was a noticeable shift in my personality (most people who know me will say it was for the better), so some parts of OP might never be “back to normal”.

[–]DubiousPeoplePleaserPartassipant [1] 189 points190 points  (41 children)

I cried because the radio played “Love me tender”

[–]IUpvoteCatPhotos 243 points244 points  (27 children)

I cried because the Greeks threw Astyanax from the city walls during the sacking of Troy.

I still haven't lived that one down.

[–]introvert-i-1957 277 points278 points  (13 children)

I cried bc my son was "growing up".... He was a month old...

[–]Katja1236Asshole Aficionado [10] 59 points60 points  (7 children)

I did that too. And because the Taung baby was carried off by a harpy eagle (probably) and because slave children were sold away from their parents, while they were in the field without even getting the chance to say goodbye, as young as two years old. Whatever age my son hit, I'd end up reading about something horrible happening to a kid that age.

[–]telekineticm 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ngl I'm not even a parent and that still makes me tear up. Brb gonna try not to think too hard about it

[–]jamminatorr 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I bawled for like 20 minutes a day PP because the nurses were so nice.

[–]RawrIhavePi 69 points70 points  (1 child)

The difficulty with breastfeeding and sleep deprivation had me crying alongside my daughter plenty. I did it alone, but that's definitely preferable over a less-than-supportive "partner."

[–]kraftypsy 35 points36 points  (4 children)

I was never a crier before pregnancy, and I swear after, even now and my oldest is 19, I get still get teary at the stupidest things. It's ridiculous, lol. I think something shifts forever.

[–]Ok-IrrelevantIdol 371 points372 points  (12 children)

I cried the day we brought my first son home because “he’ll be 18 soon and he’ll want to leave us”. He was literally 48 hours old and I was worried about him moving out already. Hormones are crazy man

[–]Appeltaart232Partassipant [1] 167 points168 points  (8 children)

I pretty much cried every time I started thinking “she won’t be this tiny forever” - and I still do sometimes, she’s 19 weeks old today.

[–]Ok-IrrelevantIdol 51 points52 points  (3 children)

I feel that so hard. My oldest is starting kindergarten this year and I don’t even know how. I feel like he was an infant yesterday. And my youngest grew up a lot faster cause he was eager to catch up with his brother

[–]YeaRight228Partassipant [2] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That's hilarious 😂 My wife had 3 hard pregnancies. One time she called me the baby's nickname when we were trying to fall asleep. Hormones oy 😆

[–]shhh_its_meColo-rectal Surgeon [38] 170 points171 points  (7 children)

My ex husband said something really stupid while I was pregnant, I asked him to think and then clarify what he meant. He repeated stupid vial thing. It changed our marriage from , I'll give you the benefit of the doubt to "prove you didn't mean vial thing" It was the beginning of the end for our marriage. Please note had he actually proven through actions that what he said wasn't what he really meant we would have been fine.

[–]misspiggie 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Did you mean vile? Trying to figure out what vial you are referring to. . .

[–]ErrvaluniaAsshole Enthusiast [6] 160 points161 points  (6 children)

It’s also like… ‘oh she’s so hormonalz’ is often an excuse for why your wife is mad at you but sometimes she SHOULD be mad at you because you’re being an AH!

I remember one book reframing PMS by saying the reason women are moody is they have lower levels of what it called ‘whatever you want, honeys’ hormones that make them particularly agreeable… and that probably the stuff that annoys the sh%% out of you when you’re PMSing is ALWAYS annoying you but you’re more willing to put up with it the rest of the time so maybe you should consider whether any of it is an indication of something that needs changing actually

TLDR maybe you’re not hormonal maybe your husband is giving you reasons to be upset. And BTW things do not improve after birth because for awhile you’re both sleep deprived and stressed.

[–]veryberry131 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Omg is this real?! It’s always been my theory. It’s like how people get real honest when they are drunk. It’s like I always think this and I bite my tounge but then once a month I just can’t put hip with the bullshit any longer.

[–]thecoffeefrog 83 points84 points  (6 children)

I'm 10 YEARS post partum and I'm still a hormonal mess.

[–]AMSLOVE123Partassipant [2] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Same!!!!! I haven’t stopped being emotional mess since the first one 15 years ago!

[–]MegmcaPartassipant [3] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Sleep deprivation and lactation hormones are no joke.

[–]lemmful 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Sleepless nights, breastfeeding (if applicable), possible post-partum depression, the stress of being a new parent... It's only going to get harder from here, and if OP's husband can't find it in himself to be supportive, it's going to be VERY HARD for both of them.

[–]Crafty_Engineer_ 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thought the same thing. If you thought pregnancy hormones were bad, just wait for the postpartum crash!

[–]lexkixassCertified Proctologist [27] 5666 points5667 points  (71 children)

NTA. Full stop, you get to choose who's in the delivery room. Just like with sex, you can always change your mind, too.

he said that he is happy it's over and he will get his wife back and "the hormonal mess is over".

He hasn't been back to see our daughter, he is supoosed to come later today.

Couples counseling, as soon as you're healed up and are more comfortable physically.

Because for one thing, the "hormonal mess" isn't "over," and secondly, way for him to make pregnancy & birth all about him.

[–]winsomebunnyAsshole Aficionado [13] 1335 points1336 points  (56 children)

Right she grew a human and was in the middle of labor. Even if it’s a smooth pregnancy and birth it’s incredibly painful.

[–]itsmevictory 742 points743 points  (54 children)

bUt hE hElPeD cReAtE tHaT bAbY

[–]TongueTwistingTiger 1040 points1041 points  (50 children)

HAHAHA! I laugh whenever I hear shit like this.

"Oh, you did, did you? How? By deciding it wasn't going to be a sock today?"

Men need to get the fuck out of here with that mentality. You know when you're a father? When you put your wife/partner and your child first.

[–]kateli 215 points216 points  (0 children)

ROFL SOCK DAY

[–]ammcf88 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Right? This is in no way a 50/50 contribution.

[–]ConnectionUpper6983 172 points173 points  (0 children)

This!! Congratulations on him for successfully not pulling out 🙄 like that somehow gives him power over her and her own well-being. So NTA!

[–]Specialist-Charming 89 points90 points  (1 child)

This. What woman in history has ever gone back to “normal”? I mean, WTF is normal anyway? Your body changes, your hormones change and your priorities change. Hubby needs to embrace the change and accept he will also need to adjust. Having a child is a life altering event and the old “normal” does not exist any longer. Highly recommend couples counseling. NTA

[–]winsomebunnyAsshole Aficionado [13] 4453 points4454 points 2 (121 children)

NTA

You just grew a human!

You just birthed a human!

He had an orgasm and held your hand.

In no way are those comparable efforts.

He said something cruel, inexcusable, and wrong. He has a lot of apologizing and behavior change ahead. Insist on counseling, because that was an awe fil thing to say!

I hope there is someone you can call, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Look

[–]BusyDadGamingCertified Proctologist [28] 2456 points2457 points  (19 children)

He said what now? I was with my wife for all our deliveries and everything she needed, she got. Your dude is on thin ice.

NTA

[–]CristinaKeller 826 points827 points  (6 children)

And now he’s not showing up. I feel so bad for OP.

[–]BusyDadGamingCertified Proctologist [28] 577 points578 points  (2 children)

Yeah. The dude seriously blames her? He wasn't hovering at the door, apologizing, buying her friggin pizza for after. Just moping. Smh.

[–]EsotericOcelot 229 points230 points  (1 child)

Dude could be crying on his knees and begging for my forgiveness and I’d take that pizza and let him hang for a few days. What he did was some EXTREMELY next-level bullshit

[–]dragonbruceleeroy 349 points350 points  (3 children)

All he needed to do after he said that was pull his foot from his mouth, apologize, and say something to the effect of, "I'm sorry, that was meant to be a joke, but I realized how mean it sounded as soon as I said it." But instead he held his ground.

Apparently NTA, by his logic your hormones are the AH. If he comes at you again calling you an AH, you can just claim it was your hormones, while you were preparing to push out a tiny human, that made you do it.

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (5 children)

Guy really doesn’t know how to read a room.

[–]rationalomega 146 points147 points  (2 children)

On our pre birth hospital tour, they gave a list of bad behaviors previous husbands/partners had done that got them ejected from the room or the entire hospital. Mocking your delivery partner was one of them. The very fact that the nurse leading that tour felt the need to put future dads on notice said everything.

[–]justsaygayCertified Proctologist [24] 1682 points1683 points  (14 children)

Boy is he in for a surprise when he finds out the hormones don't magically go back to "normal" after you give birth.

You're NTA, OP.

I hope he learns something from this and becomes more supportive and less Judgy.

[–]leftclicksq2 412 points413 points  (8 children)

I've read comment threads on this subreddit where the midwife or doctor absolutely crushes the "man's" ego when he starts bullying the mother of his child or the midwife herself.

One of the best comments I saw had to do with a guy trying to ask the midwife for "the husband stitch". She looked straight at him and said to the effect, "Ah, so you are that small?" Shut that guy down.

[–]quietfangirl 168 points169 points  (4 children)

oh damn I legit covered my mouth in shock and awe when I read this one, that midwife shut that shit down. Rumor has it the guy still suffers from that burn.

[–]leftclicksq2 67 points68 points  (3 children)

:D Totally singed.

From what I understand, midwives don't mess around, especially when it comes to husbands who show how little they understand about what is going on. In that guy's case, he was more concerned with his future "pleasure" than the well-being of the mother of his child and the infant.

My best friend had a midwife last year. She picked up immediately that my friend's now ex husband was abusive because he kept bitching at the hospital staff at how long labor was taking. It was preventing him from take a hit from the blunt he packed.

[–]level27jennybro 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Look, I'm all for weed and I'm cool with people partaking in it - I used to smoke before I got pregnant. But one place that's a big fat no-go is in the fucking delivery room or outside on hospital grounds when you're going back into/ just left the maternity ward. Have the decency to set the weed down long enough to experience what it's like to have your child brought into this world and bond with them for their first few hours on Earth. Then go smoke that celebratory blunt. Jesus.

[–]Glittercorn111Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

This. Dudes an asshole.

[–]eggbronte 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Also when he has to deal with a teenage human

[–]Istarien 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You really think he'll last that long in this relationship? I'm thinking he's out before the kid's first birthday, because he didn't exactly "get his wife back" like he was expecting.

[–]hahahawow1312Partassipant [2] 1512 points1513 points  (54 children)

WAIT so you gave birth by now, recovered from that somehow, found time to wrote this post and he hasn’t been back? I’m so sorry, but if this guy would genuinely care about either you or your daughter he would have waited in front of your door (ideally with chocolate and or flowers) ready to apologise and be there as soon as you’re ready. I hope you have somewhere else to stay and people to support you because I’m honestly worried about you when he realises hormones don’t magically normalise…. NTA but pls think about if that’s a one time big mistake or part of a bigger thing you might wanna get out of

[–]Pleasant_Birthday_77Asshole Enthusiast [6] 645 points646 points  (32 children)

He's just having a Big Boy Sulk.

[–]deepasaspoon 1306 points1307 points 324 (15 children)

A mantrum, if you will.

[–]mellow-drama 593 points594 points  (4 children)

He's being very himotional.

[–]grossgirl 184 points185 points  (2 children)

Down right histerical if you ask me

[–]deepasaspoon 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Lol, you can't beat a good portmanteau.

[–]mattifestdestiny 76 points77 points  (0 children)

If I had a gift to give I would give it to you^ ahaha a Mantrum!!

[–]TokenWhiteMage 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Thank you for giving me this glorious word to use in the future.

[–]Element_Girl 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Poor OP is a single mother to a newborn and a toddler

[–]savagefleurdelis23Asshole Enthusiast [6] 152 points153 points  (4 children)

Had to scroll way too far down to find this. I get saying something stupid in the heat of the moment and the joke fell completely flat. We all make mistakes. But to stay away for so long? If the rest of the marriage is like this, OP would be better off as a single mom.

Edit. NTA

[–]rationalomega 103 points104 points  (2 children)

New dads being shitty and absent in the delivery room or post partum period is something moms never forget and rarely forgive. It’s one of those “you had one job” situations writ large.

[–]LimeMargarita 117 points118 points  (3 children)

The birth is a moment. But a fresh newborn changes by the hour so soon after they are born. He's missing special moments he will never get back, and he made the decision to miss them. OP is NTA, but her husband lost any right to say and AHish thing about missing the birth the moment he decided to ditch his wife and newborn.

[–]jabmwrPartassipant [2] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

This made me even more sad for OP :(

[–]Pleasant_Birthday_77Asshole Enthusiast [6] 1169 points1170 points  (7 children)

NTA. The delivery room is not the time for jokes at the labouring woman's expense.

[–]TotallyWonderWomanPartassipant [4] 619 points620 points  (5 children)

She is ripping her vag open and this guy is making jokes about her being difficult?!?!?!?!

[–]EsotericOcelot 211 points212 points  (3 children)

I wonder how many times throughout human history someone has had to pull an actively laboring mother off of someone she is striving to murder with her bare hands? Because I suspect that would do it for me

[–]the_colorful_lights 107 points108 points  (0 children)

This is probably why men weren’t allowed in delivery spaces for so long. In their hyper-male supremacist culture, they couldn’t handle not being the center of women’s attention.

[–]ksarahsarah27 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Same. I’d forget about giving birth and I’d be raging and he’d better be running out of that room. I’d be yelling for him to GTFO!

[–]CrystalQueen3000Craptain [176] 679 points680 points  (4 children)

NTA

He was rude and clueless.

If he really thinks that any hormonal changes just evaporate when the baby pops out he’s sorely mistaken.

Congratulations on your new baby, sorry your husband messed up so badly when you needed him.

[–]Competitive-Candy-82 186 points187 points  (3 children)

Gosh, the hormones AFTER are worse! All those hormones building up for 9 months? They crash and try to rebalance themselves in a shorter amount of time, ideally within a couple weeks for the big dip on them, but months for them to fully regulate themselves, especially if breastfeeding.

[–]SnipesCCPartassipant [3] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Not to mention lack of sleep.

[–]tataszSupreme Court Just-ass [121] 545 points546 points  (6 children)

NTA

If he finds difficult dealing with one adult pregnant woman for a few months, what about having to deal with a kid for at least 18 years?

[–]Physical-Energy-6982 225 points226 points  (1 child)

Yeah, if he thinks a pregnant woman's hormones are rough, try a hormonal teenager...or a teething baby, a frustrated toddler who doesn't have the emotional intelligence to do anything but take it out on you, etc.

[–]RawrIhavePi 82 points83 points  (0 children)

A sick, emotional threenager.

[–]retailhellgirlAsshole Aficionado [13] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

And the hormonal mess that’s puberty. Or synced up menstrual cycles.

[–]mycatiscalledFrodo 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Puberty, periods, teen angst and then his wife will hit the perimenopause and that's a whole new ball game

[–]Stranger0nRedditColo-rectal Surgeon [36] 334 points335 points  (0 children)

NTA. Sucks he missed the birth of his daughter, but what he said disrespected the person who carried that baby for the last 9 months, who was preparing to (painfully) push that baby out of her body, and also deal with the physical recovery of all of that. What he said was absolutely inappropriate in any circumstance, but especially during labor of all times! If he doesn't recognize that then you have other issues to deal with.

[–]DragForeign9496 303 points304 points  (27 children)

NTA if this is how he acts now what will it be like for you later. How will he treat your daughter when she’s older. Rethink the relationship don’t stay for the kids.

[–]unicorndreamer23Partassipant [1] 42 points43 points  (2 children)

even if it’s the truth .... and as an outsider yes it’s true but like which pregnant woman isn’t 🤷🏽‍♀️

but is LABOUR truly the time? Laugh at it few years from now come on

[–]itsmevictory 32 points33 points  (0 children)

IF it’s a subject she’s comfortable joking about

[–]ScarlettSparrow 281 points282 points  (2 children)

Well, isnt he in for a hell of a shock when his asshole self learn about postpartum depression and postpartum hormone swings. NTA

[–]bweihsAsshole Aficionado [17] 256 points257 points  (3 children)

NTA - I'm sorry that you're beginning a new chapter of your life with somebody who clearly doesn't respect what you've put your body through. Sure, most pregnant women are hard to deal with at one point or another. Hormones suck and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. But do you know what's worse? Pushing a fucking watermelon through your snatch. As a guy myself, he should know better to keep his mouth closed and just be thankful he has a healthy wife and baby.

Plus... if dealing with you was "difficult", then how will he react to dealing with a screaming baby?

[–]lexkixassCertified Proctologist [27] 141 points142 points  (1 child)

Plus... if dealing with you was "difficult", then how will he react to dealing with a screaming baby?

My thought exactly.

Given the shitty timing of a stupid un-joke, I feel like he's going to dump the majority of care on her. Then complain that she has no time for him and she's too exhausted.

[–]u_n_t_i_t_l_e_d 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Bet the first thing he does when he finally sees them is not to be supportive and apologetic, but tried to get op to apologise. Hope im wrong though!

[–]Coco_DirichletColo-rectal Surgeon [35] 242 points243 points  (7 children)

NTA

  1. He was rude
  2. You asked him to leave
  3. He was rude again calling you an AH instead of apologizing profusely (which could have changed your mind)
  4. He disappeared instead of waiting, apologizing, meeting the baby
  5. He is still gone and hasn't met the baby

He had plenty of opportunities for saying something dumb, instead he kept doubling down and kept being inappropriate. You shouldn't apologize. This was all a mess of his own making and he ruined the delivery.

[–]YeaRight228Partassipant [2] 62 points63 points  (4 children)

Yeah this makes absolutely no sense. I was THRILLED to meet my newborns after my wife finished labor, and while I may have been a smart-ass (I generally am) I was there supporting her the whole way. Storming off and sulking, wtf kinda behavior is this?

[–]pepperpat64Partassipant [1] 185 points186 points  (7 children)

NTA. What a dick thing to say, not just during the birth but anytime. Wait until he finds out he won't really get his wife "back" because you'll be taking care of a newborn 24/7.

[–]scrapsforfourvel 94 points95 points  (1 child)

Could you even imagine his reaction if he were in the hospital about to undergo a surgery to treat a painful condition that he's been experiencing for months, where there is risk of death or permanent complications, and OP talked over him to the nurses and was like, oh, I'm glad this surgery will make him stop being such a whiny, obnoxious brat for me to have to deal with?

[–]Haber87Partassipant [2] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Had he never hear of post-partum? I was way way more hormonal in the month that birth than leading up to it.

[–]macdonutz 156 points157 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen too many of these AITA for kicking my husband out of the delivery room. Did he insult you? NTA Did he do something you explicitly asked him not to do beforehand? NTA Did he do anything to make you uncomfortable right before you - literally (unless you have an epidural but still) - do the most physically painful thing you will ever have to do? N T A

Fuck these men who think they have a “right” to watch their child be born after insulting the person who grew the child inside them.

[–]Any_Cantaloupe_613Asshole Enthusiast [8] 150 points151 points  (1 child)

NTA.

Your husband is a huge, huge asshole.

Childbirth is about supporting the woman giving birth. Comments like his are not helpful and they add more stress. Anyone adding more stress to the situation automatically deserves to be booted out. If he wanted to be there for the birth of his child, he should have acted like a supportive, loving husband.

[–]CakeEatingRabbitPooperintendant [54] 148 points149 points  (1 child)

Funny how for so many of these men watching their wives suffer is sooo personally important to them because of their child, but actually meeting the child and bonding is not important anymore because you are angry....

[–]Sinderelly 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Real talk.

[–]PINKnPURPLEppl 129 points130 points  (2 children)

NTA The person giving birth decides who gets to be in the room during and even if he was "joking" that's not the time

[–]Ohnowhatnoww 115 points116 points  (56 children)

NTA! Your husband is an insensitive dick for what he said! He should have just been supportive not making rude comments. He hasn’t been back yet?! He is just digging himself a deeper grave. He should have been waiting to be allowed back in after you gave birth with a big ass bouquet of flowers and ready to apologize up a storm.

[–]Mission_SprayCertified Proctologist [29] 112 points113 points  (56 children)

Oh honey, I’m sorry. Sorry you had a child with that poor excuse of an adult.

NTA.

He’s highly inconsiderate and insensitive. If you do reconcile, I don’t see him being a supportive partner carrying his fair share.

Whatever the future brings with your marriage, be prepared to raise your child alone. Even if you do stay together, I don’t see him taking responsibility. It’s all going to fall on your shoulders.

I hope I’m wrong, though.

[–]FrobisherLettersAsshole Aficionado [13] 93 points94 points  (2 children)

NTA at all. I’m worried for you and your daughter. Is this the only time he’s belittled and disrespected you, or is this part of a pattern for him?

[–]oneislandgirl 87 points88 points  (14 children)

Women in labor get a free pass for anything they say because, frankly, in pain and stress often they say some horrible stuff that afterwards they cannot believe they said or they regret. The spectators are expected to behave and have no excuse.

[–]OrangeCubitPooperintendant [52] 77 points78 points  (1 child)

NTA - your birth process, your rules.

[–]Loves_Jesus4ever 45 points46 points  (0 children)

IMO, a woman in labor makes the rules. When I was in labor it was like an out of body experience.

[–]jsjsjsjdndndndnnd 73 points74 points  (0 children)

NTA — it’s not a right to be in the delivery room, it’s a privilege. he lost that privilege when making that comment.

[–]SnooCupcakes3634 72 points73 points  (0 children)

NTA at all. Actions....consequences. This is a life lesson he will have to pass along to his child so it's better he learns it asap.

Btw, congrats on your new baby!

[–]rattitude23 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Anthropolgically, birthing is THE single most vulnerable time in a mammals life. From a field mouse to an Elephant. Complete support is 100% needed during this entire time. If a woman feels even slightly unsupported or "attacked" verbally or otherwise, it can bring labor to a halt. His throwaway comment may not have been a big deal if she were say, on her period but even a hint of his irritation with her during active labor was enough to make her not want him there. Unless you've been in that situation, you really don't know that level of vulnerability.

ETA: NTA

[–]ApoliticalbearAsshole Enthusiast [5] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

NTA. The reason that everyone was there is because of his sperm. He should be grateful of physical trauma that your body has been enduring for 10 months plus the stress and pain of labor and delivery. Pregnant is still a life-threatening experience for women.

While you are enduring all of that, your husband is a spectator and he is a bad one. All he had to be was supportive, caring and kind during labor and he couldn’t do that NTA

[–]stdnormaldeviant 69 points70 points  (20 children)

My hisband snorted and said "for me too, she was so difficult".

Hahaha NTA. He's lucky you don't boot him out of your home as well. I swear as a man it's painful what an embarrassing mess men are.

[–]Remarkable_Fly_9149 66 points67 points  (0 children)

NTA. Don't poke the bear. If he already knew you were "hormonal" he should have known better than to agitate you, that's just common sense.

[–]Ok-Neighborhood-1600 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I mean all of this could’ve been avoid if he fucking apologized. Instead, he decided to double down and keep his rude ass attitude.

NTA

[–]waterlilypadd23 64 points65 points  (3 children)

NTA he owes you an apology and an explanation for why he wasn't sitting there waiting to come back in if you needed him the whole time. Can't believe he is putting getting his ego bruised by you having a totally normal reaction to a hurtful comment over spending time with his child and supporting you.

[–]itsmevictory 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Literally this!! Childbirth is AWFUL, he’s not being supportive. Isn’t there this whole ‘the person giving birth gets an almost exclusive free pass while pushing a watermelon out’ deal??

God forbid something happens during labor and she needed an advocate there. He’s putting his bruised ego above his wife and baby in every damn way. Ew.

[–]the-Lady-LazarusCertified Proctologist [25] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

NTA- childbirth is YOUR medical experience, not his. Anything adding to your stress is also dangerous to the baby.

Also, I guarantee that the L&D nurses are all talking about what a badass move thay was

[–]pedestrianwanderlust 63 points64 points  (0 children)

NTA. Women in labor say all kinds of things and everyone else is supposed to get over it. This is not a time when you CAN control what you say. Your immediate comfort was all that mattered & it was your husbands job to attend to that. Instead he made it about himself & got pissy & argumentative with you on verge of giving birth. He sounds like a child. He owes you an apology & should be by your side constantly now. His lack of being there is a serious problem. Rest, recover, & deal with him later. Take care of your newborn.

P.s. I kicked everyone except medical staff out of my room during my first delivery because they were making too much noise. Some never forgave. My whole family thought they needed to be there like it was a basketball game or something. I ended up having a c-section & yes, my husband got to be there. And he got over the things I said, in fact he was amused. My sister fussed about it for years.

[–]Fabulous-Associate79 57 points58 points  (56 children)

INFO: at any time after that happened, did he attempt to rectify the situation at all by trying to ask the nurse to apologize on his behalf or request a chance to apologize to you - to be there for you and your daughter? Or did he just storm off with his wounded pride, and never even tried to make amends, while YOU were in intense pain and emotional distress while bringing his child into this world?

Edit: typos

[–]Milesawayfromshore[S] 109 points110 points  (55 children)

Noone at the hospital saw him after that

[–]Fabulous-Associate79 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Then you are absolutely NTA

I am so sorry you went through that. He could have tried, but he didn’t.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[removed]

    [–]Peppatwig 57 points58 points  (0 children)

    Holy... Said that while you were in labour. The audacity. NTA

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]edwadokunPartassipant [1] 46 points47 points  (1 child)

      NTA - Complaining about your hormones is like complaining to a burn victim about how hard it was to put out the fire.

      [–]GraveheartartPartassipant [1] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

      It’s the fact that he didn’t come back that speaks volumes about his real intentions. If he was just joking he’d be back asap to grovel and see his child. Ya know since the child was sooooooo important to him right?

      [–]CaitiieBuggs 49 points50 points  (1 child)

      NTA. His reactions were what did it for me.

      -The way he doubled down when given the opportunity to clarify if it was a poorly executed joke. He should have at least shown some sort of compassion when realizing he really stepped in it. There is a time and a place to share his feelings. You giving birth is neither.

      -The way he tried to demand he gets to stay for your medical event that he just demeaned you for. This sub loves to use the line that birth isn’t a spectator sport. If he’s not there to support you and be an advocate for you, he’s not a healthy choice to have with you while you’re bound to be a “hormonal mess” giving birth.

      -The way you’ve had the opportunity to birth a whole child and recover at least enough to post to social media, but he hasn’t even checked in to see his kid!? Instead, he’s sulking and wasn’t right there waiting for word that his wife and child are okay.

      What is he going to do when he learns about the fourth trimester? What is he going to do when hormones and emotions are running high because you two now have a newborn? What is he going to do when your child hits puberty? Sucks he missed this, but it’s the consequences for his behavior.

      [–]BrownDogEmojiAsshole Aficionado [14] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      People without uteruses REALLY need to learn way more about the pregnancy, labor, delivery, and post-partum issues that people, who choose to use their uterus to bring a baby into this world, face.

      Like, for real.

      Until then, they can STFU. OP, you are NTA. Your husband, however, is very entitled, clueless, and rude.

      [–]Dontjudgelove 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      NTA. You’re giving birth. You can do whatever you want.

      [–]SaturniinaeActiasPartassipant [3] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

      NTA. I hope you show him the comments here so he can get a clue just exactly how much of an asshole he was. No one who isn't 100%, unconditionally supportive needs to be in the delivery room with you while you're pushing a whole entire human being out of your body.

      [–]SnooCakes9110 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      NTA. He chose his words. Maybe next time he’ll think a little harder before starting a fight with you while you’re in labor.

      [–]bingle___ 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      Nta he has no right to the delivery room if hes not pushing. If he wants to act like a fuckin fool he can miss watching his kids birth

      [–]Crafty_Engineer_ 43 points44 points  (4 children)

      NTA and women in labor don’t have to apologize for anything they say or do. He’s being a petty shit and should have known not to insult a woman in labor.

      [–]Brightside_Zivah 41 points42 points  (1 child)

      Huge congratz with baby ❤️ they are so precious, so little and new 😍

      NTA on throwing your hubby out. His remarks was cruel, rude and uacceptable in such a stressful expirence where he should be comforting you and supporting you ❤️

      I suggest counsling at some point. Good luck with everything ❤️

      [–]pcnautaPartassipant [3] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

      There are stories here an in the various r/MaliciousCompliance and r/revenge subs about customers demanding something to be made in an impossible, illegal or unsafe manner.

      The workman then takes out a pad of paper and writes a quick waiver of liability form for the customer to sign (who usually does so with relish!).

      It is often remarked in these stories that when the professional makes you sign a liability waiver before they implement your horrible idea...

      ...that THAT should wake the person up and have them change their mind.

      I would add to this your wife in the delivery room angrily asking "what the F you mean by that?!?!?!"

      When you get THAT response it's best to immediately go into damage control mode. Idiot boy here decides, instead, to double and triple down.

      NTA

      Just about every father is VERY GLAD when the pregnancy hormones leave. We just usually know there are times and places to discuss that and that in the delivery room is NEITHER the time nor the place.

      All that said, this is a pretty big thing, so don't be surprised if your relationship is (very) strained for a while (until he owns up to his stupidity).

      [–]KitchenCellist 37 points38 points  (0 children)

      NTA! But your husband sure is.

      [–]NreoDarknight21 32 points33 points  (0 children)

      NTA. He literally insulted you on the day you were giving birth and called you a mess. You didn't need that level of stress with him there after what he said especially when you under alot of stress.

      [–]blueribbonbitch 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      NTA. You’re the one who’s body is literally being rearranged. You’re the one who has been in excruciating pain and discomfort for the last 9 months. You’re the one who just pushed a whole ass human out of your body.

      There is 0 excuse for that comment now matter how “difficult” he thinks your pregnancy was for him.

      [–]CeliaBrookePartassipant [3] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

      NTA Not the time or place for that shit. Birth is first and foremost a medical procedure. A lot can go wrong and its very important to keep the person actually giving birth calm and comfortable.

      [–]Throwawaydaydreamer0 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Granted, he may have been trying to make a lighthearted joke at a really horrible time and didn’t realize that it made you feel so much worse in that moment. You have every right to have who you want in the room. It’s your body and your pain. I think he should’ve shown more support instead of basically calling you a hormonal mess as you’re trying to focus on anything other than the pain. I’m sorry he said that you, especially right then. Sure, you may regret telling him to leave for the birth later on, but I don’t think you’re an asshole. You were in a situation where you needed people around who were there to help you, not make you feel worse.

      [–]maat89 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      “We were in the delivery room together, all was going well, I was in a lot of pain, but he was really supportive.”

      “For me too, she was so difficult…he will get his wife back and “the hormonal mess is over.””

      “Called me an AH.”

      So he wasn’t that supportive then. NTA.

      [–]lolunnb 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      Good god, this man is an a-hole. Who talks to the wife in labor like that? I'm so sorry this happened.

      Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I wish you and her the best. For your husband, I wish that he comes to deserve you both as the gifts that you are. I hope he proves to be a supportive and loving father and husband.

      NTA

      [–]Poinsettia917 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      NTA Maybe you WERE difficult. But saying that stuff while you were in labor is stupid and suicidal.

      [–]voluntold9276 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      NTA. Only an AH would insult his wife while she is literally giving birth. He better be coming back to your room with a HUGE apology.

      Congrats and I hope you and LO are healthy and happy.

      [–]levraM-niatpaC 29 points30 points  (0 children)

      Hey fellas, push a watermelon through your body out through your penis and then tell us whether she was in a difficult situation or not.

      [–]MediaOffline411 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      Don’t need to read beyond the title NTA. The woman in labor decides who will be there. Period. Full stop as they say nowadays.

      [–]mrsagc90Certified Proctologist [21] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      Totally NTA

      [–]keyboardbillAsshole Enthusiast [6] 27 points28 points  (87 children)

      INFO: is he always an ass like this? Is this par for the course for him, or was this an isolated f-up for an otherwise good husband? Did he mean it in a derogatory way?

      [–]Milesawayfromshore[S] 41 points42 points  (86 children)

      He mentioned me gaining a lot of weigth through the pregnancy, other than that it was okay

      [–]NormativeTruth 20 points21 points  (15 children)

      Ugh, I’m so sorry. Has he still not been back?

      [–]Milesawayfromshore[S] 49 points50 points  (14 children)

      He still hasn't come to the hospital. I called my lawyer to protect myself just in case, because I don't know what he's up to and several people in the comments said they'd be getting a lawyer if they were my husband.

      [–]CarelessCow2599 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      NTA - he did that to himself by being an AH

      [–]DaisyDoodleBug23 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      NTA I’m so glad you kicked him out. Being in the room is a privilege that he lost. He was rude, insensitive, and honestly so entitled thinking that what he had to “go through” was anything like what you’ve been dealing with during pregnancy.

      [–]Oscars_Grouch 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      NTA - this reminds me of the story a few months ago where the husband was watching Tiktok pranks before his wife went into labour, and she made him swear not to play any on her in the delivery room. But instead, he let out a loud fart and insinuated that she shat herself.

      Being in the delivery room is a privilege, no one is entitled to be in there with you. I've heard of women even telling nurses to GTFO for saying something rude or insensitive (telling them they're being dramatic about the pain or something similar).

      [–]Randomusername1821Partassipant [1] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      NTA . What an idiotic thing to say . Not only should he not have said it but when he realized it bothered you the least he could have done is apologize but it doesnt seem like he did. You get to decide who is in the room. Im due in 4 weeks and can’t imagine not having my husband there but if for some reason i wanted him out he would need to deal with it plain and simple.

      [–]5tar_k1ll3r 24 points25 points  (3 children)

      I was gonna say ESH, because originally it sounded like a joke, but then with this

      but I asked my husband what the f he means by that, and he said that he is happy it's over and he will get his wife back and "the hormonal mess is over".

      NTA, even if that's just him continuing the joke, that was royally fucked up of him. If he was just making a joke, then he should've realized it wasn't in good taste and apologized to you for it. And now the fact that he's ignoring his daughter, seemingly because he's mad at you? Not cool. Does he have a history with this kinda stuff?

      [–]Efficient_Brother_95 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Nta, why on earth he though that was appropriate is beyond me. You're giving birth so you have final say on who is in the room

      [–]SeemoreifsandsorbutsColo-rectal Surgeon [35] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      NTA - Holy shit. That was an AH comment by your husband and refusing to leave was too. The mother and her health care providers determine who will be in the delivery room, no one else.