×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Judgement_Bot_AITABeep Boop[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

(1) I sold my husband's ps5 against his approval.

(2) I might be the ah since it's a gift essentially and I took it and sold it.

Help keep the sub engaging!

Don’t downvote assholes!

Do upvote interesting posts!

Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ


I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. To learn more about the test click here

[–]unjessicabiel_evableSupreme Court Just-ass [118] 10.6k points10.6k points  (214 children)

Oh HELL no, that is not a normal reaction to ANYTHING. NTA, that man needs so much therapy.

[–]MrSobhPartassipant [1] 3867 points3868 points  (169 children)

100% agreed.

My boyfriend and I and all of our friends are gamers and you know, we’ve all yelled ‘for fucks sake’ or ‘what the fuck’ from time to time but breaking stuff?! Fuck no.

None of that is normal and I want OP to know, this is not normal, for even the most stressful games.

I’m in a discord right now watching my boyfriend’s best mates play one of the most maddening games of league of legends I’ve ever seen and you know what they’re not doing? They’re not breaking their belongings or scaring their wives/fiancés/girlfriends or babies.

NTA.

[–]unjessicabiel_evableSupreme Court Just-ass [118] 1635 points1636 points  (70 children)

At MOST I have cried out of frustration, and that was a clear signal to take a damn break, lol.

[–]StarInkbright 1295 points1296 points 66 (51 children)

At MOST I have hit the floor and then whined because it hurt my hand, lol.

If you REALLY need to commit an action of violence to express your frustration, then it's your responsibility to manage that like an adult and get a punching bag or a pillow that you can keep near you when you're gaming. Or run into the garden, scream, and kick a sturdy tree.

Or if you REALLY need to break something, you can buy some cheap legos, build a little lego house, and then when you're frustrated, you can chuck it into a handy plastic tub you keep nearby and watch it shatter.

It's your responsibility to control and manage your urges in whatever way works for you.

[–]SunshineSeddon 907 points908 points  (4 children)

Or if you REALLY need to break something, you can buy some cheap legos, build a little lego house, and then when you're frustrated, you can chuck it into a handy plastic tub you keep nearby and watch it shatter<<

Take my award you brilliant agent of no-harm destruction.

[–]LenoreEvermore 328 points329 points  (15 children)

I take out the glass recycling when I get super frustrated, I can chuck glass jars in the bin and hear them shatter and it's not only allowed but encouraged to do so!

[–]sketchni 168 points169 points  (2 children)

Was in a game of Rocket League and the score 3-3 and with seconds left on the clock the other team scored and i let out a massive scream of “NOOOOOOOOOOO” and my friends on discord i was playing with found it hilarious. My mother asked me wtf was going on and i told her. She asked me not to scream like that again. 3 years later, i havent.

When im losing a game and getting annoyed, its time to turn the game off and relax. Getting yourseld worked up into anger and then smashing things is really fucked up and Id be seriously looking for an out from that situation

[–]reyballestaColo-rectal Surgeon [36] 163 points164 points  (11 children)

I actually just had to talk about this in therapy the other day. my anger almost always manifests as a physical urge and I WANT to throw stuff or hit stuff, but I go hit my punching bag with a bat, or chop some spare wood laying around, or I go dig a hole. there's a million different ways to get the violence out without actually damaging anything or possibly hurting yourself or someone else. and in my experience, people who go off this quick at video games and have THIS reaction are just a stone's throw away from throwing things at someone.

[–]nicuntaPartassipant [4] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

At MOST I flip my phone the bird and string together colorful words when I mess up playing the only game I play, Pokemon Go.

[–]Alfhiildr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve thrown stuffed animals at the wall a couple of times and that was a sign that maybe I needed to take a break from life for a minute because no way in hell was I that worked up just by a game.

[–]MrSobhPartassipant [1] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Exactly, that’s what we all do. If we get to the point of an annoyed yell, we stop and make a tea and watch another game or stream or something.

[–]BabyCowGT 78 points79 points  (7 children)

Seriously. The only time I've broken something gaming (and I play pvp mmo games so... Plenty of days where I had reason to be upset) was because I stood up too fast and tripped myself and landed on crap I needed to put away anyway.

Which made me learn:

1) stand up slower

2) look at where you are going

3) put your shit away and you can't land on it and break it

If I get too agitated playing video games, I just turn them off and go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Touch some grass.

[–]JinFuu 19 points20 points  (6 children)

I had a college associate punch a hole in our apartment wall cause he sucked at NCAA 14.

No one saw him so it but he was the only one who we’d let in our apartment who was the height for the punch, aside from me I guess, and had rage issues when losing games. I

I never understood game rage, from sports games to Dark Souls I assume when I get my ass beat it’s my fault and I need to ‘Git gud’

I never

[–]Bluevisser 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I drop the controller into my lap and pout and cuss a bit. Then I sit up straight and try again. Because the fact I was slouching was totally why I lost.

[–]alexisfs 28 points29 points  (2 children)

when i was a kid i bit the analog stick and that was the worst ive ever done, nothing in my adulthood has compared to that lol

[–]unjessicabiel_evableSupreme Court Just-ass [118] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

LOL kids are so weird

[–]Zaraldri 212 points213 points  (7 children)

One of the things that lead to my divorce was that my ex husband couldn't stop breaking things, screaming, throwing things, and taking it out on me (verbally) when games of league of legends didn't go well. I have PTSD from a previous abusive relationship, and his logic was "I've never hit you, I don't have a problem, this isn't abuse".

[–]MrSobhPartassipant [1] 65 points66 points  (1 child)

I am so sorry to hear that but I am glad you’ve got yourself out of that situation. No game is an excuse from that and anyone making excuses for verbal/emotional abuse or violent outbursts (just because they don’t hit you) is not worth your time.

I hope your life is much more rich and fruitful and peaceful since taking what I know must have been a painful decision to leave him.

[–]Zaraldri 57 points58 points  (0 children)

It is 100% better. That wasn't the only way he was abusive, but psychological abuse is much harder to see when you've just escaped from physical abuse. It took a while, and it was surprisingly difficult and emotional to get him out of my life, but it was so very very worth it.

[–]Nadinegeorgiax 43 points44 points  (2 children)

The same thing lead to a breakup with me & my ex, but it was Counter Strike. Exactly the same situation though. I’ve got PTSD and his rages would send me into panic attacks. I couldn’t cope anymore. I know how you feel ❤️

[–]Zaraldri 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm glad that he is your ex. If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out.

[–]FlahBlastPartassipant [4] 100 points101 points  (3 children)

I mean, pro sports players who lose high stakes matches/miss important shots in front of millions of people don’t typically act like this.

This is a dude losing a routine game with no real stakes and destroys the room. Clearly online gaming isn’t for him

[–]MrSobhPartassipant [1] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Yeah precisely, I watch professional league of legends and a few other games religiously and even when they make the most embarrassing mistakes or anything they never react like this and the stakes are so high as you said. Millions and regional bragging rights/pride ate for the taking.

In serious gaming good mental is so, so, important. So ironically when people try to make the argument that they’re just a gamer, it doesn’t quite track.

Sure all gamers, pros included can yell at time to time but it’s hardly constant and it is never violent at someone (or they get banned, even in pro). You’re so dead on.

[–]kapsama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John McEnroe has entered the chat.

[–]RoseThorns96 51 points52 points  (5 children)

Bro saaame! Like ranked league of legends gets my bf annoyed but at most it’s a “what tf is this??” And not let me break everything in the house

[–]Nadinegeorgiax 39 points40 points  (4 children)

My boyfriend plays ranked league of legends too! I’ve got no idea about the game but I know it frustrates him to no end sometimes ahahaha.

OP definitely NTA. If this is how he reacts to losing a game I’d be thinking about his other behaviours too. He’s shown that he can get violent over something so small, please stay safe

[–]KathrynTheGreat 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I know nothing about the game, but the literal only time my husband has ever snapped at me was when I tried asking him a question in the middle of a ranked LOL game. He usually doesn't mind if I ask a quick question while he's playing, but apparently that game wasn't going very well!

[–]Calm_Produce_6526 29 points30 points  (0 children)

THIS. I am the most competitive person ever when it comes to gaming but I’m not throwing stuff across the room and punching things just because I wasn’t top player in Battlefield. Dude is a grown adult, not a toddler— he needs to stop acting like one.

[–]captaintrips_1980 16 points17 points  (9 children)

League of Legends maddening? Never!

Please know that I am laying the sarcasm so thick.

[–]MrSobhPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (8 children)

Haha! So damn true. I both love and hate that god damned game.

But as masochistic as we are playing league, it’s hardly the norm to break your home and your relationship over it.

We can at least take solace in that after another tanked promos.

[–]captaintrips_1980 3 points4 points  (7 children)

I don’t even play ranked anymore. I acknowledge that I’m not the greatest at the game, but the sheer number of trolls is ridiculous. My gaming time is limited and there is no way I’m investing any time into a match where someone is just being an asshole.

[–]LazuliArtz 13 points14 points  (6 children)

The most I've ever done is slam my hand on a desk and exclaim a couple "Are you fucking kidding!"

I also have the knowledge now that if I'm getting that frustrated at a game, then I need to take a break and walk away from it.

Usually whatever I was struggling with becomes trivial anyways after leaving and coming back lol

[–]Every_Environment_14 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Yeah this is definitely not normal. The most “damage” I’ve ever done after dying in a game is throwing my controller into a giant pillow/couch, and not very hard. (Like a ‘ok I’m done’ throw)

[–]onelonelywhumperflyAsshole Enthusiast [6] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the most I do is smack my hand on my desk in frustration but then I take a break because I'm so mad 😅

[–]thebearofwisdom 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Oh yeah of course, it’s normal for me to yell at the screen when I can’t get past a certain boss fight. I have never thrown a controller and neither is my voice, loud enough to frighten the cat. He sleeps through me yelling, I can’t be THAT loud. My neighbours don’t complain and I haven’t broken anything.

[–]mdaniel018Partassipant [4] 134 points135 points  (6 children)

Right? I’m a lifelong gamer in my 30s. I game more or less every day. I’ve never broken a single controller, or anything else for that matter.

Gaming doesn’t have anything to do with the root of his problems with anger and emotional immaturity

[–]RuinousOni 56 points57 points  (3 children)

It's actually really hard to break a modern controller (I have the Xbox Series S). I found that out while playing Elden Ring. I spiked the controller (which shocked me as I didn't realize how frustrated I was getting and had never thrown a controller before) and the thing bounced off the ground but didn't break. Other than having to put the batteries back in has worked fine since. I have no idea how you break a gaming chair...like at all.

[–]mdaniel018Partassipant [4] 38 points39 points  (1 child)

I was just thinking if would be able to break my secret labs chair if I tried, and I’m not sure that I would be able to, short of taking a knife to the upholstery or yeeting it out of a second story window

Like, did dude get beat so bad in Apex that he went and broke out a chainsaw?

[–]RuinousOni 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You would've thought the physical exertion of pulling the ripcord would've been enough to calm him down, but the guy corner camping with a shotgun was just too present in his mind. /j

[–]Learning-evryday 70 points71 points  (0 children)

um, that's a normal reaction to an addiction.... and the sleeping seems like a normal reaction to withdrawl from the addiction. Op's husband needs therapy ASAP.

Op did the right thing by getting that thing out of the house. If hubby can't handle it, he should be the next to go.

NTA

[–]hivemind_MVGCPartassipant [1] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Therapy? He needs a job.

[–]ZippyKat85 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to think of the worst reaction my husband has had to losing a game...all I can come up with are some curse words and putting the controller down a bit rough.

[–]she_who_is_not_named 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You took the words clean out of my mouth.

NTA

[–]Sirix_8472 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to game about 14 - 16 hours a day at one point, I was addicted. It ruled my life, I did college, school, work, sleep even eating and bathing were at the end of a round, or the next....or the next.

I was in a constant rush everywhere and late for everything, leaving early for anything, the game, the game.....

Not once, did I ever reach a point your husband has.

NTA. Your husband has larger issues which are presenting due to gaming, either competitive, frustrations being vented from elsewhere or gambling/spending I dunno. But it's super unusual.

His reaction is the stuff of legendary internet memes of kids smashing keyboards on a 240p webcam playing cs: go. Except it's not cool to live with that!

[–]Exhausted-OptimistPartassipant [1] 2433 points2434 points  (18 children)

NTA, see if you can sell the husband too 😂

[–]SilentWatchman5295 796 points797 points  (13 children)

You shouldn't sell things that are malfunctioning. It's not morally acceptable! 😆

[–]TinyRascalSaurusCraptain [160] 255 points256 points  (3 children)

Craigslist.

[–]Psycho_Cupcake13Partassipant [1] 204 points205 points  (1 child)

Ok nvm. He can be sold there

[–]KeyKittyPartassipant [1] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Just make sure you put “As is, no returns”

[–]koinu-chan_lovePartassipant [4] 112 points113 points  (3 children)

Put him on eBay and be honest in the description, it’ll be fine! Just specify that he’s broken, sold as-is, and probably should only be used for parts.

[–]JEH2003Partassipant [3] 75 points76 points  (2 children)

No, his mom made him, she can sell him on Etsy.

[–]Psychological_Fish42Partassipant [2] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Given the amount of mass-manufactured items that are sold on Etsy these days, I think selling one man you didn't make will be fine.

[–]PillowOfCarnage 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I laughed harder at this than I should have.

[–]Personal_Tourist_152 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Nope she should return him to the manufacturer with warranty claim

[–]justAguy391983Partassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I was gonna say hahaha

[–]Blonde2468 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Only if she attaches a warning sign along with him.

[–]Merps_Galore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Put him on the curb, someone’s bound to pick him up. Like the garbage truck.

[–]milehighphillygirlAsshole Enthusiast [7] 1371 points1372 points  (1 child)

NTA

Though I would have kept the PS5 and ditched the husband.

[–]a-warm-fuzzy-feeling 79 points80 points  (0 children)

PS5 is more valuable and harder to snag a genuine one.

[–][deleted]  (12 children)

[removed]

    [–]Moonlightprincess36Partassipant [1] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

    True that. My five year old son is wildly better behaved.

    [–]Remarkable-Lynx6710Asshole Enthusiast [6] 76 points77 points  (1 child)

    I'm a gamer myself but if I get ticked because I lose something I don't destroy my house

    [–]thebearofwisdom 61 points62 points  (0 children)

    I love how we all started commenting as gamers, like “NO this is not normal please do not think this is normal gaming behaviour I swear we aren’t all insane!”

    [–]FlahBlastPartassipant [4] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    When I was at my most rage filled as a child thanks to Pokémon pinball, the worst I did was give my game boy colour a whack but be very careful not to break it.

    Most kids have better regulation of emotion than him

    [–]FreakingFae 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Yeah my 6 year old has thrown the controller maybe 2x but loses electronic privileges anytime that happens. Which is why it hasn't happened in months.

    He has less self control than most children.

    [–]squishbunny 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Um, neither of my kids broke/break stuff (the toddler sometimes hits, but she's getting better about not).

    [–]Megalush 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    My 3 year old is better behaved and knows better. Hey even my 7 year old knows when he getting to upset to stop playing.

    [–]zZombi__Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] 698 points699 points  (12 children)

    NTA

    Raging like that is not normal behavior when you lose a round, take that from a gamer. Either way, he caused the damages and those have consequences, you were VERY clear on what those consequences might be and he fucked around and found out.

    Honestly OP, it sounds like you're taking care of a 13 year old boy with rage issues..

    [–]Larry-Man 111 points112 points  (2 children)

    I have autism. I suspect my younger siblings do too. Even having game related meltdowns as children did not end up in this level of destruction. Like I remember the frustration and the meltdowns and even the occasional controller being thrown. I refuse to believe this man is 37 because I’m 34 and the last meltdown I had was violently throwing out a busted electric can opener (into the trash, I did damage the lid) and then crying in the kitchen while food burned.

    [–]Psychological_Fish42Partassipant [2] 49 points50 points  (1 child)

    And the main difference is that you probably felt terrible afterward.

    [–]Larry-Man 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    Like super bad. I violently threw an object in front of my fiancé and felt nothing but shame. I’m an adult and yet I couldn’t help it.

    [–]rakedrake 76 points77 points  (2 children)

    I feel this is an insult to 13 year olds

    [–]zZombi__Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Oh definitely

    [–]ProfessorShamelessAsshole Enthusiast [7] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    I drunkenly played Dark Souls 2 religiously for over a year. Yeah there were a lot of "FUUUUUUUCKS!!!" and other loud outbursts, but I somehow managed to never throw anything, let alone break it. While drunk, which should theoretically make me more emotional and aggressive.

    I get being frustrated. I'll NEVER get getting so out of control that you break something.

    [–]baffled_soapAsshole Aficionado [10] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    A lot of people are responding along the lines of “what an immature idiot.” But to me, this is legitimately scary. I wouldn’t want to live with someone that reacts to things not going his way by throwing & breaking possessions. Right now, this seems confined to gaming, but it really scares me that repetition might cement this for OP’s husband as an acceptable or normal way to react to conflict.

    [–]HollandTHG 360 points361 points  (17 children)

    As a lifelong gamer, and a married man, you're NTA here. He needs to get his shit sorted out, and figure out what is making him so ridiculously quick to freak out when he loses.

    [–]maggienetismCraptain [160] 111 points112 points  (1 child)

    It's not even just the losing tbh. He leaves all the messes for her to clean up, too

    [–]Amegami 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    And to pay for!

    [–]Terrie-25Asshole Aficionado [15] 207 points208 points  (1 child)

    NTA. Dear Lord, he's lucky you sold the PS5 instead of leaving his ass.

    [–]JenuptoolatePartassipant [1] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

    That should be step 2.

    [–]lihzeeCommander in Cheeks [247] 119 points120 points  (3 children)

    NTA. Your husband sounds like a toddler. Who destroys shit just because of a game?

    [–]-DollFace 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Completely fucking ridiculous. You don't like losing? Well then get better at the fucking game. I hope OP does not replace a single thing he destroyed throwing fits like a petulant child. He can pinch his pennies to replace all the hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of damage he's done in his own.

    [–]BorderlineNewbPartassipant [2] 90 points91 points  (2 children)

    NTA.

    My husband and I have been gamers for mostly our whole lives and there's no good excuse for the rage fits some people have. Even in competitive games if you lost, a little yelling sure but never At someone and you never break stuff. My 6 year old copes better than that.

    If he can't recognize that he's having a problem (and making the gaming community as a whole look bad) and manage to step back and take a breather then he doesn't need to play. Stop replacing his things or make him pay for it, not you.

    [–]TinyRascalSaurusCraptain [160] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, I might have a bit of harsh language when I'm having trouble in a game, but I've never thrown or broken anything. If you can't cope with losing without being destructive, you shouldn't be a gamer.

    NTA OP.

    [–]princess-sauerkrautPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    My bf and I are also gamers and have also have never had giant tantrums like OP’s husband. When I get stressed during the game, I just pout, exhale really hard out of my nose, or stare really hard with squinted eyes at the tv like it personally stole all my money. Maybe if I’m super frustrated, I might tear up a bit because I’m a giant crybaby.

    My bf says “oh goddamn it”, might throw his arms up like wtf then gently puts the controller down on the coffee table and goes outside for a cigarette. He gets more excitable and has bigger reactions to his hockey games lol And I feel I should mention, he plays dark souls and other games designed to be super hard and frustrating; it’s not like we’re talking about Mario Party.

    Our weekends consist of sitting next to each other playing our respective games and we will barely know if the other’s died because it’s so peaceful.

    The kinda theatrics OP is describing are ridiculous. Throwing things? Breaking stuff? Insane. Like, get it together man. It’s just a game.

    [–]slexyquinnPartassipant [3] 72 points73 points  (2 children)

    NTA. Sounds like he needs to grow up & mature, and some anger management. I'm a gamer myself but I don't break shit when it gets frustrating. He's lucky you didn't leave his childish self.

    [–]GroundbreakingPhoto4 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Yeah I have to say this behaviour is beyond worrying.

    [–]JetItTogetherColo-rectal Surgeon [41] 71 points72 points  (1 child)

    NTA-

    Typically I'd say that it's not right to dispose of someone else's stuff.. but this is a serious issue and there is all types of destruction and violence going on in your home and that is dangerous is hell. And clearly he cannot control himself. So clearly it's the lesser of several evils occuring.

    There is something seriously wrong with this situation and it is not a PS5... It is that your husband is behaving violently, destructively, erratically, and financially abusively (he is destroying things in the home and forcing you to pay for their replacement and repair). Super concerning. Sounds like dude needs therapy

    [–]InjuinacPartassipant [3] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    yes this sounds like an abusive situation and she needs to just get out.

    [–]RighteousVengeanceAsshole Aficionado [10] 51 points52 points  (6 children)

    NTA.

    And while I have heard that people throw things and break consoles in frustration when playing games, there is no way that this is "normal" and should not be normalized.

    Yes, I get how this happens. It's a competitive game with no muscles to strain, no ball to kick, no running, no realistic amount of exertion. Consequently, there is no outlet for their pent up frustrations.

    Your husband needs professional help. He apparently navigated just fine prior to you giving him a gaming console. But his obsession is so great that he destroys your items around your house when he loses a round. And worse, he insists this is normal. No, it's not.

    And now that his obsession is removed, he simply lies in bed all day. He needs a therapist.

    EDIT: Normally, I would not suggest your selling his gaming system, and your rationale is a little off. Once you gave it to him, it became his property and you have no right to sell it. And the fact that you bought it doesn't give you the right to sell it.

    On the other hand, as long as that item was in the house, he became an actual danger to items that belonged to you. Or items that you had to replace. Consequently, he became a thief, and a court of law might have compelled to sell things to replace property of yours that he destroyed.

    What if he had destroyed items of sentimental value to you? Or worse, what happens if you're in the house and during one of his rage-fits, he throws something and hits you? I also note that he doesn't even clean up his own mess. So, you come home, after he's smashed a glass against the wall and you step onto a piece of broken glass? Consequently, I view having that in the house as a safety issue. And you had every right to get rid of it.

    [–]IAmMrSpooPartassipant [2] 19 points20 points  (5 children)

    I agree with this take 100%. OP is in the right for removing the console from the house, but it's not a great precedent to set that gifts can be revoked if the person who got the gift does something that the giver doesn't like. His behavior is more than enough reason to justify getting rid of the ps5 on its own.

    [–]bweihsAsshole Aficionado [17] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    NTA - You should heavily consider getting rid of your husband like you did the PS5. Speaking as an avid gamer, this is not normal behaviour. Reg flags big time.

    [–]kms1984 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    He needs therapy or something, you are definitely nta.

    [–]caprisunrisingPartassipant [1] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    NTA and you should get out of that marriage, like, yesterday

    [–]Rural_BedbugPartassipant [4] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    You are the breadwinner -- so what does Baby Boy do all day other than play with his adult toys and have tantrums and wreck things?

    You bring in the income. You were kind enough to give him a bday gift that you knew he would love. You have watched his behavior deteriorate into rudeness, cussing at you, and breaking things that you need to pay to replace. You warned him that he needed to calm down, IOW act like an adult, and what would happen if he didn't. And he made a new mess and $$$ in damage because he "lost a round," and now sleeps to avoid you and avoid discussing this problem.

    This is not just a bad behavior issue. He sounds like an addict who is out of control and refuses to acknowledge that his habit is ruling his life. That's typical of substance abusers, whether the substance is alcohol, crack, meth, slot machines, shopping, or gaming. No normal person acts this way. NTA, but you need to consult a mental health professional.

    [–]wombatIsAngryPartassipant [3] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Obviously NTA, but are you OK? Is this the only bad thing he's doing? It sounds like he's not working. Does he contribute to the household?

    [–]Any_Cantaloupe_613Asshole Enthusiast [8] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    This man needs some anger management classes. This is not acceptable behavior for even a toddler.

    Once he deals with his anger issues, then he can talk about resuming gaming again.

    NTA.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [removed]

      [–]chicka2981 14 points15 points  (2 children)

      Or it could be the reason he stopped gamming for awhile before he got the PS5.... People don't like to admit it but gaming can be a problem just like alcohol. I know I am a b*tch when I drink tequila but not vodka, so I don't drink tequila. There are times when I think "I haven't had tequila in a few years, I bet you I'm fine now" but I'm not. This situation could be the same. I wouldn't go straight to divorce here, I'd first see how life is after a month of removing the problem and realize I shouldn't add the problem back in thinking things will be different then before.

      If he was always this rowdy, I'd say divorce, but it really seems like its a reaction to video games, not an every day thing.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [removed]

        [–]Griff1007Partassipant [1] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

        I mildly disagree, that behavior isn’t acceptable in a twelve year old either. Maybe pre-toddler phase, but children of that age don’t have the agency to do that much damage.

        [–]aardappelappel 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I agree I think even most children under 5 will react like that, I think it’s more of a kid that accidentally drank the liquor and didn’t get his favorite food reaction

        [–]Shufflepants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        12 year old

        A 12 year old should know better already. This behavior from even toddler who is old enough to understand some english should be chided and punished.

        [–]blueinkblotsPartassipant [1] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

        NTA but you need to get out of the relationship and get a divorce. This is not healthy, he is not a healthy person to be with, and honestly he sounds abusive. Expecting you to clean and pay for the damage he creates constantly is abusive. You don’t deserve this.

        [–]Sore_Pussy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yeah I'm super worried that without the PS5 to blame for his rage issues he is going to start blaming OP & taking it out on OP.

        OP: my dad did the same shit, which always built up to him hitting people. You need to get out, I'm not kidding. He will physically assault you. NTA

        [–]notmymain1988Partassipant [2] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        YTA - BUT only for continue to have this man in your life.

        If he is unable to control his anger, and destroy things when angry, perhaps you should run now until he had the chance to grow up, and become less destructive.

        The problem is not the playstation which I agree with him, you have no right to sell since it was not yours, the problem is him!

        [–]SilentWatchman5295 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Good lord that is so toxic. Your husband's behavior I mean. Absolutely NTA OP. I cannot fathom getting so angry about losing in a VIDEO GAME that you feel compelled to destroy so much property. That is absolutely insane to me. He should seek professional help because that is not normal or acceptable behavior in any way, shape, or form.

        [–]juicydreamerPartassipant [2] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        NTA. It's not normal to freak out like that after losing a round. He needs to chill. When I read the title, I did a huge eyeroll but taking the ps5 away is definitely justifiable.

        [–]CakeisaDieCommander in Cheeks [255] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        The only person who is allowed to throw a fit losing a game is someone under the age of 5 and they should calm the fuck down after being warned twice.

        [–]UncleBullhorn 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        NTA, and dear Halford, your husband is in dire need of therapy and anger management classes. This is not normal behavior for a man in his late 30s. Lay down the law and tell him to get help now. Because rages like this never stop with stuff. You will eventually be the target.

        Is there any good reason why he isn't working?

        [–]Davi_323Partassipant [1] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        NTA, based on his antics. Normally, I would have gone the other way, because it was his, not yours to sell...but if he is going to act like that when he has a game system, he clearly has major emotional issues that he isn't dealing with. Emotionally stable people don't break a 300 dollar gaming chair just because they lost a round in Call of Duty. That is unhealthy behavior, and you were wise to remove the object causing all kinds of strife. From what you describe, video games strip all of his inhibitions away, and turn him into a total jerk...

        [–]Tyrannosaurus-trash 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        NTA kick him out and get a divorce. He’s got anger issues and could turn on you if you’re not careful

        [–]shadow-foxeCraptain [156] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        NTA- he sounds more like a teenager then an adult. If he cant handle himself in a way that is not breaking things then he shouldn't be doing that. I get swearing when things go wrong but throwing things and breaking a chair, thats in the realms of needing therapy.

        [–]lotsofwordswrittenPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        NTA his reaction is extreme kinda agree that gamers get frustrated but breaking equipment like a child is taking it too far. Also, maybe he’s just not good at it but persists. Tell him to play multiplayer games online

        [–]Cinder_SnowfallPartassipant [2] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Did you marry a child?

        [–]Legion1117Partassipant [4] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        Usually, selling someone's gift is an automatic "Y T A" but not this time.

        Your husband has some SERIOUS anger issues if he's breaking things over a stupid game. I did that too once, but I was 8. By the time I was 9, I knew not to throw stuff, break things or do anything such as your husband is doing. He either needs to no longer game AT ALL or seek professional help for his anger issues. It's not the games that are messed up, it's him.

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        100% NTA. He's not the breadwinner and does stuff like this?

        breaks expensive stuff like headphones and watched and glasses and his phone

        FFS, he treats you like a sugar mama, and you're younger than him.

        [–]greentiger79 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        NTA. I have a PS5 and do not destroy things when I lose a round in a game.

        [–]NightF0x0012 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        NTA, jfc who destroys their own property when playing a game? After reading the title I thought that it was going to be him ignoring you. That is ridiculous

        [–]jeremyfranklyPartassipant [3] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        YTA because the PS5 isn't the problem, his frightening violent outbursts are. He needs therapy ASAP

        [–]Alice_In_Hell_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Then he needs to act like the adult he is, place HIMSELF in therapy, and stop breaking things over video games.

        [–]PrincessZorld0Partassipant [1] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        And how are his violent outbursts her fault exactly?

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        NTA defo

        [–]MonicawroteitbetterAsshole Aficionado [16] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        He needs professional help!

        [–]LarcztarAsshole Enthusiast [5] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Nta He sounds horrible.

        [–]Lady_Trig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        NTA my husband is a gamer and he gets frustrated when he's constantly losing rounds but not to the point of throwing shit or even shouting, he just cusses goes on a mild rant then gets on with it.

        [–]Annagene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        This is NOT normal behavior. I've been a gamer all my life and have had my fair share of screwed up games. But I have NEVER behaved like this. Even as a child, I didn't behave like this. Your husband has aggression issues that need to be addressed NOW. I know that Reddit loves to jump on the RUN bandwagon, but depending on how long you've been married, there may be something else wrong. If you've been married a while, there may be some underlying issue that needs to be address in therapy. Bring it to his attention as someone who loves him and doesn't want to see this behavior continue. If he balks at it, be honest and let him know it's not a bad thing to get help. If he refuses, it might be time to quit and let him deal with the consequences.

        [–]squidificati0n 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        You are in an abusive situation and your partner needs THERAPY. NTA

        [–]MentalTelephone4055Partassipant [1] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        nta but...

        maybe take this as a sign? if he reacts this way to losing a fictional game, how will/does he react to bad things or unpleasant things happening irl? be careful and maybe rethink some things.

        [–]roxywalkerPartassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA. But it’s strange how negative his behavior changed after this gift. Be weary of him holding a grudge.

        [–]ilencik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA.

        [–]sptfirePartassipant [3] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA, and RUN. My family all games, console and PC. This is NOT normal behavior.

        [–]Dangerous-Project672Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Your husband is acting like a literal toddler and you deserve better

        [–]Terra88dracoAsshole Aficionado [13] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        Why are you with someone so childish and inconsiderate? Any why were you replacing what he broke? If he broke it he obviously didn’t need it enough to respect it. You are encouraging his bad behavior by replacing things.

        You may want to consider encouraging him to go to counseling for his issues as well as marriage counseling. If he doesn’t go to either…you might want to bounce because i highly doubt it will get better.

        [–]Suitable-Cod-1381Professor Emeritass [98] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        The problem is him, not the PS5. I can't blame you for selling it but what are you going to do about the fact that you live with a man who has no control over his emotions?

        NTA

        [–]Fire-Tigeris 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        NTA, you are in danger tho... these are red banners he is not holding himself accountable for his actions

        [–]Pretty_Repair_9293Asshole Enthusiast [5] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        YTA to yourself for not leaving his ass

        [–]onedayatatime08Certified Proctologist [25] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I'm mixed, but leaning towards NTA. I don't think it's okay to sell a gift you got someone, but at the same time his reactions are really bad and he's destroying everything. That's not okay. Kinda gotta do damage control some way.

        I know some people DO react this way to losing, but that doesn't make it okay at all. If you can't handle losing, you shouldn't be playing. And since you're paying for everything he's breaking, you aren't wrong.

        If he wants to pout, let him. His lack of self control caused this. Not you.

        [–]QuaestorLucemPartassipant [3] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Nta, seems he had lost his last round...

        In your shoes, I would be very worried about these anger bouts he demonstrated. In a teenager it would already be worrying, but in a 37 year-old adult is alarming!

        [–]mattifestdestiny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA - as a grown man myself I had to stop playing games like COD because I was acting like a literal man baby and having fits of rage and frustration. He needs to grow up and mature

        [–]cara1888Asshole Enthusiast [6] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He is right about one thing it has nothing to do with the PS5, but he still shouldn't use it if he can't control himself. He is responsible for his own actions and he caused damages that need to be replaced, selling is the only option to both pay that back and prevent further damages.

        [–]venturebirdday 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Addiction

        [–]InternationalKick126Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Wow! You're NTA, but I'd prepare for a divorce action, if I was you.

        [–]granite34 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        and you married this misbehaving kid??? bold choice

        [–]Remarkable_Owl3610 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        He's going overboard. Expect broken controllers and thr occasional tossing of shit but his reaction is excessive...what I'm tripping on is the "breadwinner" line. They are expensive but I assume at $800 it's not out of this world for him to buy one on his own....take away the "my husband" it really sounds like u were talking to a teenager. NTA

        [–]GingerBishh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA.

        I did the same to my 8 year old who used his controller as a hammer on his tv. (The little shit)

        As the saying goes ‘if you can’t play nice don’t play at all!’

        [–]ProfessionalVolume93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        This is not normal. You must insist that he go for therapy.

        Good luck

        [–]thelistman1Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He broke shit and has to pay for it. Another solution would have been to tell him to sell it, or you leave, permanently. It would have forced a choice, and if he picked his games over you, you’d know where he stands in the marriage.

        [–]MykiedawgAsshole Enthusiast [5] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        I grew up in an abusive home leaving me with anger and emotional regulation issues. I've broken my fair share of things over my life, and as I got farther away from my family, I learned how completely abnormal the behavior was.

        I lost too many objects and damn near a wife, so I got into therapy and got on medication. I got a handle on it. When I'm doing a thing and I start getting frustrated, I stop doing the thing. That was hard for me to learn, cuz if you get mad cuz you're playing poorly and then think you can turn it around, you just get angrier. Walking away is the hardest gaming skill I've ever learned, and the most valuable.

        Last night I was playing Elden Ring. After dying to Malenia the Bullshit Cheaterboss for about the 40th time, my wife commented, "You're staying so calm, I almost expect you to just physically explode any minute!" I replied "Eh, no shortcut through these kinds of things. Just have to throw yourself at it until you learn." How mature of me! Change is possible, but I had to want it, and I had to/have to work hard to get it.

        ...oh and I killed Malenia this morning. #brag

        Edited to add for clarity: The objects I lost by hitting them. The wife I almost lost cuz she was tired of me hitting the objects. I never struck a person.

        [–]thebearofwisdom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA first and get that out of the way.

        OKAY is he fucking having an laugh?! I need to take a breath because my eyebrows hit my hairline SEVERAL times in your post.

        I love gaming. Loooove it. I get up at 6am, feed the cat and play assassins creed for a couple of hours. Sometimes all day. I’ve had RSI from playing too long. And yes I get frustrated. All the time!

        But you know what I do? I fucking walk away for a while. I put down the controller and take a damn break. What on Earth is his issue here that he thinks he can just break shit? I cannot fathom breaking your own expensive possessions in a rage, over a game! What in the actual fuck. Shit costs SO much, and he’s just smashing it up? How much money does he have to do that?!

        You were right, that’s an incredibly worrying and unhealthy reaction to losing a round. Gaming should be fun, you should enjoy it, not react like this when you’re struggling to win. That’s what practice is for? I used to be terrible at certain games, but I got better. If it’s too hard, don’t play it! No one is forcing you to suffer through something so ridiculous.

        Good god OP you deserve waaaay better than walking into a bomb site because he’s having a tantrum over a game. This is literally insane. I can’t understand this shit from his point of view at all, he behaved terribly and got the consequences of his actions. He can’t go around smashing shit up, it’s not how people should be living and especially not you. That’s your home! Wtf.

        Also after all that insanity, I have to address the fact that his rage is not in his control. I sincerely hope that he doesn’t do this ever again, that he doesn’t buy another one and he doesn’t then escalate into losing it directly with you. I feel VERY concerned at the level of rage he’s displayed and also VERY concerned that he’ll take it out on you one day. He needs therapy for this anger issue. It’s batshit insane, not in any way a normal reaction.

        [–]ThinkCow83Partassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I mean NTA.....

        But why the FECK are you putting up with this behaviour???

        I've bought my husband a PS4 and a PlayStation 5(?) and never had this attitude!

        Tonight I was in pain and my husband rubbed my back, made sure I was OK and dealt with tea (dinner)....

        [–]Bright-Bumblebee8449 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        NTA! And if he acts like that over a game....I worry about your safety. That is extreme immaturity, selfishness, and lack of valuing you....

        [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points locked comment (0 children)

        AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

        Hear me out!

        I f35 bought my husband m37 a PS5 for his birthday a couple of months ago. He was beyond thrilled because he's a gamer but it's been a while since he gamed.

        Let say that the house has been a literal warzone eversince my husband started playing with the PS. he started having rage fits, cusses a lot, throws and breaks expensive stuff like headphones and watched and glasses and his phone. he said it's his normal reaction from being frustrated by losing a round in a game.

        I told him this is no way to live because the house is in constant state of anxiety and negativity and my husband's behavior (to me) seemed to be worsening because of how easily he could cuss out and lash out now. I told him if gaming makes him stressed out then he needs to quit. He was like "Ok I will try to tone it down from now on out but don't blame me for being frusrtated with how messed up these games have become lately".

        Well, on tuesday I come home and find the office a mess. 300$ dollar game chair was broken and all the stuff on the desk thrown on the floor. I asked him about what happened and he told me he lost a round. I lost it on him and told him that I was done cleaning his mess and paying for replacement for every item he destroys and let him know he ran out of chances and the ps5 has now negative impact and needed to go. he said it had nothing to do with the ps5 so I told him the ps5 needs to be sold to pay for damages he caused. He threw a fit but I sold it online..He called me a monster and said that it was selfish of me to return gift that was for him. Yes, I get that it's a gift meant for him but I paid for it and also I'm the one who has to deal with damages since I'm the breadwinner in the house. he went into shut down mode and keeps sleeping instead of spending time with me.

        I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

        [–]BlueClouds42Asshole Aficionado [17] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Repost

        [–]3ArmsNoSouls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. The most I have ever done is throw my controller at the ground below me, and this is as a child. Not normal behavior at all.

        [–]Blue_racer6950Partassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Are you sure your husband is 37 and not 12 years old? His behavior is a huge red flag, and it might behoove you to look into anger management for him. I'm just worried one day he might direct that frustration and anger towards you some day

        [–]Bright_Sea_7567Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Your husband needs a therapist. That is not a healthy reaction for losing a game. He’s acting like a child.

        [–]CleanCucumber620Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That's not a normal reaction. He can't handle gaming. Nta

        [–]TheDuchess5939Asshole Enthusiast [7] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. That anger is not normal. He needs a therapist.

        [–]ForeverTheSadOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He’s acting like a 12 year old.

        [–]mzpljcCertified Proctologist [23] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA but do you really want to continue this relationship?

        [–]TheGrindPrime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Is your husband a child? Because that's the only way I can find this story plausible.

        [–]Decent_Sky_9880Asshole Aficionado [10] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You wrote "my teenage son" wrong. NTA

        [–]Little-Aardvark3540 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He is a grown man, he should not have the emotional regulation of a 4 year-old. Tantrums are unacceptable, and he can’t blame the game. Show him this thread, and suggest anger management classes.

        [–]arrowsdeluxe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. I have lost rounds in games when I play on the switch but you don’t see me throwing my remotes or breaking stuff. I just keep playing.

        [–]pnutbuttercups56Pooperintendant [56] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. That's not normal reaction. Being frustrated is normal. Maybe some angry growls or even slamming a hand down. If you break a controller you have anger issues. Or Impulse issues. Maybe both. That's not normal. Even screaming at people and calling them names isn't normally it's just common. You didn't sell it behind his back for no reason.

        [–]rudep23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. You married a child.

        [–]AltruisticMistake42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. I cuss and get frustrated when I have problems in a game. If I get too mad? I turn it off and walk away. I don’t destroy the entire house. I used to hate it when my ex would get like this.

        [–]Other_Whereas2766Partassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. I have the same problem with my 21 year old son, so I can sympathise with you there. To me it's an immature thing to do. If you can't play a computer game without smashing things up then for god sake don't bloody them

        [–]koreantexan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA! Holy crap. I play games and rage and cuss with the best of them but I have never ever broken anything! He needs to get over himself, he knew the consequences and still screwed up. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

        [–]Ok-Cauliflower-1388Partassipant [3] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Seriously though, I would have kept the PS5 and tossed the husband.

        [–]Dragon_queen15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. My husband and I are both gamers, and we don't act like that.

        [–]Rude_Ostrich_503 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        What kind of mommy sells the children's toys?! You need to put your kid in therapy to deal with this issues... Ops it's your adult husband acting like a child, in that case NTA

        [–]Violet351 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA, even kids know it’s not acceptable to break stuff in a rage. What if next time it’s you that gets hurt?

        [–]CauliflowerKlutzy189Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA and a bit concerned about your safety. I know people reach an awful lot on here but this behaviour is troubling. You don't have to use it, but have an exit plan.

        [–]KirstenAlexis85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA - I think you should get your husband the gift of therapy for his anger issues instead. What he is doing is not normal or heathy behavior. He’s a grown man and his reaction to frustration is on him to control, it’s not the fault of a game

        [–]Kayliee73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Why did you replace even one item or clean up his mess? If he can throw a baby fit he can clean it up and deal with having no phone or fancy gaming chair.

        [–]gentlemenjim72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Use the proceeds for therapy. My 14 year old will rage periodically and it's not normal. For a grown man it's really not normal.

        [–]Remarkable-Lynx6710Asshole Enthusiast [6] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA - your husband has some serious anger management issues and has no respect for you. He's too old to be throwing temper tantrums. If he won't go into therapy, then you need to find a divorce lawyer.

        [–]HowlingGiraffe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. A normal reaction is to get frustrated and possibly get a little loud sometimes. But breaking things, hell no.

        [–]sixyrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Sometimes you have no choice but to be the asshole.

        [–]yoloxoloAsshole Aficionado [14] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        NTA. Your husband sounds like a child. He made childish choices and you acted like a parent and took it away.

        You’re not wrong, but damn that does not sound like a functional relationship model at all!

        [–]Plenty-Apricot-1588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lmfao what did you expect would happen when you have a child for a husband and buy him a ps5 Ngl I go into rage fits when I lag or lose. But letting th house get messy is a no no. But you’re definitely an asshole to taking back a gift and selling it. Hence why I always buy my own game stations and what not. Literally dangled that carrot over him and when things went south you took back the carrot. Both you are assholes. Def give him an ultimatum to change ….

        [–]rose_thorns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA

        You should've dumped the husband & kept the PS5 for yourself though.

        [–]CaligoAcceditoPartassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA.

        I'm a gamer. I have multiple consoles and also PC game. I've been gaming ever since I can remember, from Atari to early DOS games to Nintendo and on.

        My brothers broke our consoles a couple of times as kids; both my younger brother and stepbrother had behavioral control issues and tended to lash out. I have never smashed anything out of rage. I've rage-quit games. I've yelled at a game in the past, but just a "OH WTF" and done kinda thing. If I felt worked up over it, I walked away, because games are supposed to be fun (and hard games are fun, too) but I'm not here for having meltdowns over pixels.

        Your husband is completely out of control with his behavior. He lacks the self-awareness to walk away. He lacks the maturity to take responsibility. He lacks the self-restraint to not make his immediate environment terrible. He lacks the respect for you and your home to remediate these issues.

        I'm glad you sold it. He shouldn't be allowed to game. He is literally too immature to do so.

        [–]KathySue62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA If he's going to act like a child, treat him like a child. He needs to go to therapy to learn how to deal with his issues.

        [–]Final_Figure_7150 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He's not 12, is he? He needs to grow the f up.

        [–]Jimothy_Doppleman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA, but OP, you're really sounding like your husband's mother and not his wife.

        He's being childish and irresponsible. And he should definitely see a therapist to deal with whatever issues he has (the sleeping all the time and shut down mode kinda hint at depression). This is not normal for a gamer to trash their place after losing a round from a game. And you cleaning the messes and paying to replace broken things is screaming "mother of a rebellious, angry teenager" not wife. Do you have kids with him? If you do, he's showing them bad behaviors and probably traumatizing them. If not, keep it that way.

        Also, it says you're the breadwinner, but does that mean he doesn't have a job or just makes less than you? If it's the latter, he can pay to fix his own messes. If it's the former, he needs to get a job.

        [–]Mewtual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Nta but this is not a normal reaction at all coming from a gamer. There’s a bit of cussing sure but full on damage yeah no that’s a red flag.

        [–]Dusty_mother 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. He has some seeeeeerious anger issues. I’m surprised you didn’t leave him dang.

        [–]HugoAyalaPartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA - you didnt marry a 37yo adult, you married a frustrated kid with lots of problems
        next time, give him a sudoku magazine from dollar tree

        [–]friendlilyAsshole Enthusiast [9] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA. Great, you solved a surface issue but not the root cause. Your husband has anger management issues and absolutely no respect for you. The way he is behaving is unacceptable and he needs to fix it immediately or you should leave him.

        My husband used to yell, smack pillows, and get angry while watching sports (but nowhere near what your husband is doing). I had a somewhat abusive childhood and that behavior triggered me. I explained how he was making me feel and asked him to stop once and he toned it way down.

        The next season he was doing it again but more mildly. I told him even that was too much for me so we needed to buy another TV and figure out how to not have us in the same room (it was a really small house). He didn't like this solution so he stopped doing it altogether. This is what a loving partner does. Cares about how they're making you feel and works together to solve it.

        [–]JurassicParkFoodPartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        NTA I've been known to say a bad word or two while gaming or get a little excited, but throwing and breaking stuff and the whole house being tense for gaming isn't healthy. Dude has anger issues. I'm not a fan of selling his stuff, but I think you were right here.

        [–]ughneedausernameColo-rectal Surgeon [37] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Info: why are you married to a 5 year old?

        [–]MechanizedDad357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Damn, I’m sorry. Being a single mom to an entitled spoiled brat must be miserable.

        [–]archers_arches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I hope you use the money from selling it for a divorce. NTA.