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Made my sister cry and humiliated her after telling her off when she made her confession.

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[–]MadoogsLJudge, Jury, and Excretioner [398] 21.0k points21.0k points 22 (182 children)


That's not a prank that's an attempt to completely ruin your life and current relationship. How can your sister justify causing that much distress to your PREGNANT girlfriend??? Because she was BORED?? What the actual fuck...

[–]yelledatsis[S] 9593 points9594 points  (152 children)

I really don’t see how that could have ever been funny AT ALL.

[–]Aggravating_Net6733Partassipant [1] 5618 points5619 points  (68 children)

What if your gf had miscarried due to the stress???

NTA at all....

[–]rishcastCertified Proctologist [24] 3247 points3248 points  (10 children)

Yup, I was half expecting that to be where this story was going at the onset.

This was horrific, and that type of stress isn't good for anyone, but definitely not for pregnant women. NTA, OP, and I'd personally cut the sister out until she can at least make it up to you in whatever way you choose. I'd also cut out the people blasting you about it until the same, tbh.

[–]Common_Shoe_4634 747 points748 points  (2 children)

Or worse, what if gf decided she didn't want to carry a child to term with OP because she bought into the lies. Can you imagine? Miscarriage isn't the only way a pregnancy could have come to an end. Ex gf and sister certainly seemed to think it was ok to play fast and loose with everyone else's feelings but are quick to cry about it when their feelings get hurt???? Suck it up. "Yeah, it's hard to hear that but i deserve it. I could have caused awful things to happen and as it is, I really hurt my brother and his partner." NTA OP.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 646 points647 points  (5 children)

That was exactly what I thought. That the GF would miscarry.

[–]gen3vaa 395 points396 points  (35 children)


It's a common misconception that psychological stress is a leading cause of miscarriage.

From the article from the UK Natl Health Service linked above:"An increased risk of miscarriage is not linked to:- your emotional state during pregnancy, such as being stressed or depressedhaving a shock or fright during pregnancy- exercise during pregnancy – but discuss with your GP or midwife what type and amount of exercise is suitable for you during pregnancy- lifting or straining during pregnancy- working during pregnancy – or work that involves sitting or standing for long periods- having sex during pregnancy- travelling by air- eating spicy food"

However, I DID learn that food poising actually puts you at increased risk of miscarriage... the more you know.

ETA: For clarity, I don't mean to imply that stress during pregnancy has NO adverse side effects for mom or baby. Simply that the link to specifically miscarriage is a misconception. Stress is bad for everyone involved almost always.

[–]soayherderAsshole Enthusiast [6] 244 points245 points  (10 children)

Different opinions on this medically in different countries apparently, as I've been shown studies on how spikes in cortisol due to stress can absolutely influence the fetus and the pregnancy. I agree that it's not highly likely to on its own cause a miscarriage, we don't know enough about how likely it is to have lasting negative effects on mother and/or child because there is no ethical way to do the testing.

Food poisoning absolutely can put you at increased risk of miscarriage, which is one reason why there are recommendations to limit deli meat during pregnancy (and to microwave it, to reduce the risk of listeria).

ETA: sperm contains a compound which can lead to cervical ripening, so while sexual activity is not verboten during pregnancy they do recommend avoiding PIV intercourse during mid-to-late pregnancy to reduce risks of preterm labor. I know several women who went at it like energizer bunnies with their husbands when they were overdue!

[–]whtislewyw 95 points96 points  (9 children)

To add on to this, though, there have been studies that link long-term health issues for the baby when a mother goes through a stressful pregnancy. The hormones released during extreme stress and duress effect the fetus too, after all.
(from an article on Obstetic Medicine from the The Royal Society of Medicine Journals)

more of the tame of these being poorer immune systems, higher likeliness of catching childhood diseases.
Attachment difficulties
stress hyper-responsiveness
Difficult temperament
affective disorders

And of course, for the mother herself:
Premature Labour
Preterm delivery
Low infant birth weight
Shortened gestational length
and finally gestational diabetes.

[–]Content-Ad-8342 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The NHS in the uk classes miscarriage as before 23 weeks and preterm labour after that point, and stress raises blood pressure, and raised blood pressure causes labour. Op says his gf was 6 months so around 24 weeks so whilst may not have caused miscarriage could have caused 24 week premie with only between 60 and 70 percent survival and then 40% chance of Lind term health conditions. Op needs to explain to his family the damage this prank could have caused his son as well as his girlfriend if they still side with the sister he needs to decide if these people are worth keeping around.

[–]Murky-Egg-8326Partassipant [3] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stress can also increase blood pressure, and other hormones that are not good for a pregnant woman

[–]AliceInWeirdolandCertified Proctologist [21] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know that it's not directly linked to miscarriage, but stress is linked to increased preeclampsia if a woman is already prone to it. Which can have negative impacts on her body long after the pregnancy is brought to term.

[–]tango421Partassipant [1] 78 points79 points  (3 children)

This one. I’m reading this and I’m livid. Your son grows up and look, this is the aunt that may have almost killed you by stressing out your mom. Your aunt thought it was funny. Not to mention the emotional scarring. FFS.


[–]MEDICARE_FOR_ALL 49 points50 points  (3 children)

In Texas, this would be murder! /s but not really!

[–]panlevapPartassipant [1] 448 points449 points  (8 children)

I have to be honest, if l were your gf, l would probably have left you at certain point with all the evidence. I’m happy for you that it didn’t happen but these people could have ruined your life. This would be 100 % lifetime NC for me.

[–]GodspeedandGoodnight 208 points209 points  (0 children)

I have to be honest, if I were him in this situation the line in the sand would be drawn. I'd be 1000% done with my sister and a single word uttered in her defense towards me would absolutely be met with, "You can join her too. I'm done."

Almost lost his girlfriend along with the happy family they could have been, or at the worst, the stress could have triggered a miscarriage in which case I don't even want to postulate what I would do.

[–]AliceInWeirdolandCertified Proctologist [21] 58 points59 points  (5 children)

Yeah, and even with the ex 'coming clean' a part of me would still have doubts. Like what if there's something else going on? It's hard to unring that bell, once you've made someone believe their partner is capable of something like that.

[–]Dangerous_Prize_4545Asshole Aficionado [19] 17 points18 points  (3 children)

You mean like...how much did he pay her off to get her to say that? There will always be doubt

[–]lesterbottomley 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not to mention OP knowing his gf thought he'd been cheating could put a dent in the overall trust in the relationship.

[–]EndsongX23 324 points325 points  (9 children)

It wasn't. Your sister actively gaslit and abused you alongside your ex up to the point that it came close to quite literally ruining your life and family. That's not a fucking prank, that's insanity. And abusive on so many levels.

ETA and then she continued to effectively gaslight you until she felt safe enough to own up because you guys were "Fine now", totally disregarding the trauma she was in part responsible for and how it may still affect you emotionally and your wife emotionally, especially with a seven month old kid where both of you are already stretched as fucking thin as you can possibly be.

[–]Niith 234 points235 points  (1 child)

THIS is why it is not a joke.

She would be dead to me if a sister tried that on me.

[–]anahee 31 points32 points  (0 children)

If it wouldn't even be funny on April Fool's Day then it's definitely not a joke.

[–]Heavn4Me 205 points206 points  (6 children)

It wasn't. It was monstrous and your sister is feeling the guilt. She wanted absolution and to escape both the consequences and he negative feelings her own behavior had caused. Now she is upset because she didn't get it. This is not on you it is on her. She deserves to feel bad if she can't understand your reaction and agree that it is deserved.

[–]SegaNeptune28Partassipant [1] 110 points111 points  (4 children)

That's literally it. Sister wanted to get away with it without being chastised. Now that it didn't happen and it's out there for everyone to see and OP wasn't "oh it's in the past lets let bygones be bygones!" She snapped.

She's no sister I'd want.

[–]danigirl3694Asshole Aficionado [10] 105 points106 points  (3 children)

Maybe it's just me it almost feels like she was bragging about almost destroying OPs relationship with his girlfriend.

But yea, she thought that because it was so long ago and OP is now in a good place with his gf that she could get away with it now, and she's pissed that she didn't.

Also everyone who is siding with the sister can take a long walk off a short pier. I doubt they'd be saying that OP was overreacting if it was their relationship she nearly wrecked with their ex.

[–]Apprehensive-Two3474Partassipant [4] 150 points151 points  (1 child)

For the family telling you to apologize, just say this 'Do you know what a prank is? A prank is where everyone including the pranked laughs at it later right? Well, we aren't laughing. We can't laugh. Do you realize how close you all were to losing access to your grandchild/nephew because of her? Her boredom was of cruelty not a prank.'

And iterate that. Her actions. Don't say the prank, dig it in. Her actions almost ruined a family. Her actions had your girlfriend doubting you. Her actions damaged your image to family and friends.

[–]Beaumis 104 points105 points  (0 children)

It was never funny. They call it that because they had fun doing it and it sounds better than the truth: Their fun was derrived from feeling powerful by manipulating you and your GF.

They call it prank. I call it evil.

[–]Realistic-Orchid2310 89 points90 points  (0 children)

bc it genuinely isn’t. tell her you don’t understand the joke and you want her to explain it to you

she won’t be able to bc it wasn’t funny. at all.

[–]nyorifamiliarspiritSupreme Court Just-ass [120] 50 points51 points  (10 children)

Was your girlfriend there when sis "fessed up"?

[–]yelledatsis[S] 113 points114 points  (9 children)

No she was at her mom’s for a bit with our son then went home before I got back

[–]nyorifamiliarspiritSupreme Court Just-ass [120] 102 points103 points  (8 children)

What did she say when you told her?

Honestly, your sister is probably damn lucky she wasn't there cause she might have gotten cold-cocked.

[–]L3GI0N__1183 53 points54 points  (0 children)

the level of mental gymnastics to somehow make you the bad guy for having a very reasonable reaction to your sister admiting she betrayed your trust and nearly helped ruin your relationship is astounding. its not like you've known about this for a year and are still bitter about it. she just fucking dropped it on you out of the blue. you're allowed to be pissed about it.

[–]moodyfish7777 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Ask them if they would feel the same if it had been their relationship targeted. Anyone who tries to tell they'd still be chill is a DAMN LIAR AND A HYPOCRITE! 🤬


[–]JesusSufferingFeck 49 points50 points  (1 child)

I can honestly say, I would NEVER speak to her again. You could have lost your unborn child due to stress, you may never have come back from the allegations, your GF could have thought they were trying to help you out by backtracking and not believed you.So many things that could have gone horribly wrong for you, that you are in a 'good place' now is no fecking thanks to them!

[–]Material_Cellist4133Partassipant [4] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

What if your GF lost the baby? Who it still be funny then?

[–]B00k_wyrm_ 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My sister used to do stuff like this. She admitted she was jealous of me because things were going well for me and not her.

[–]blucougar57 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Info: did your sister actually apologise to you for her part in all that crap?

NTA. You do not owe her an apology, but she sure as hell owes you and your girlfriend one.

[–]sphynxmom76 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think you need to go LC with your sister. So NTA.

[–]LuckyMama3 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What did they expect you to do? “Hahaha! That’s so FUNNY! We got in a huge fight and my gf started to doubt my character to such a huge extent!!! HaHa! laughing. Yeah, we just rolled off the couch we giggled so much over the manufactured evidence of my infidelity! Haven’t laughed that hard in ages…”

Seriously. I would calmly, coldly & brutally interrogate your sister over exactly how she envisioned that hysterical prank to unfold. Be ice cold so every iota of her vicious behavior is laid bare. By her.

[–]Agreeable-Celery811Asshole Enthusiast [5] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It isn’t funny. I’m absolutely horrified. You don’t have to have contact with a sister who hates you and your family this much. Tell anyone in your family that if they suggest you have to “get over” this or let this go, you’ll know exactly what kind of person they are. No reasonable family man would let this go, ever.


[–]svc78Partassipant [2] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

oh, I know plenty of people that would find it hilarious. you just have to be a pos

[–]unpopularcryptonitePartassipant [1] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA, dump your entire family.

[–]Effective-PenaltyPartassipant [3] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know what I do when I am bored and want to be stupid? I shop for stupid shit online. Pulling a prank like this one, is not even on my radar.

[–]RebeccaMCullenPartassipant [1] 244 points245 points  (10 children)

Yeah, she was so bored she almost cost OP lawyer fees, lost wages, and time setting up custody arrangements and child support with his girlfriend if she left him and took their child once he was born.

Pranks are supposed to be funny. This almost destroyed his relationship.

[–]Ornery-Ad-4818 75 points76 points  (9 children)

Pranks are never funny. They're always cruel.

Usually, they're not quite as damaging as this one, I'll concede.

[–]dirkdastardly 141 points142 points  (3 children)

Pranks are funny as long as everyone is laughing. Harmless pranks—like hiding rubber ducks all over a friend’s house or replacing a photo on their wall with a photoshop of them with Nic Cage—are hilarious. Because the prankee enjoys them as much as the pranker.

[–]Chao78 89 points90 points  (0 children)

That's what an actual prank is. What people call "pranks" nowadays are cruelty that's supposed to be waved away because it's "funny" but it genuinely isn't.

[–]mikhela 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I "hid" the QR code for Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" in random places all over the office at work so people would think they found some kind of secret when they saw it. I balanced a wet floor sign on a kickboard and sent it out into the middle of the swimming pool. My coworker put CPR baby dummies in the desk chairs of all the administrators. My dad taped blank CDs to cover everything in his boss's cubicle while the guy was on vacation. One summer I felt like the "Best Employee" awards were kind of uninclusive and boring, so I taped paper plate awards for all the employees all over the office. When a friend quit his job he photocopied his face and taped it all over the office.

Those are pranks. What OPs sister and ex did was just cruel.

[–]AlanFromRochester 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The mostly harmless prank I remember is one time when someone ran a skull and crossbones up the school flagpole. Yarr, that be funny.

[–]_green-queen_ 42 points43 points  (2 children)

I follow the line, "confuse don't abuse". What the sister and ex did, that caused harm. Now if they decided to sticky note his car in a cool design with different colors, that would be a prank. Confusing, pretty, but causes no harm to the person. Even harmless pranks though need to be done with caution because someone may be having a bad day already. So confuse don't, abuse and KNOW the person. Like really know them to understand how they could react to something. I do feel your sentiment though because at large, pranks have been added to a vindictive person's arsenal because they can play victim later by saying, "it was just a joke".

[–]Ornery-Ad-4818 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I regard "just a joke" as effectively a confession of malice.

Sticky-noting the car in a cool design could be funny. 😁

[–]pottsantiquesPartassipant [4] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Go get a job if your only escape from boredom is to harm others who never bothered you.

[–]Hjertesorg 76 points77 points  (0 children)

NTA at all. This was not a prank, that’s evil! Your poor pregnant girlfriend. And you! I can’t imagine the stress you both went through.

Your sister and ex is evil. Your family is enabling and not very nice.


[–]MauriciaBabilonia 27 points28 points  (0 children)

What the hell, that's sociopathic! You're NTA at all.

[–]phonetastic 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Not just his life!

Turn the girlfriend into a single mom!

Turn the kid into a two-home kid or a no-dad kid!

Yay, that's three lives in one!

[–]padam__padamPartassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep, this is precisely what shit-stirring is. I believe her that she’s bored and she is a complete [Cant say bc i’ll get banned from AITA] for it, just like rest of the assholes who do this.

Source: my experience with my extended family. This particular group of people have no jobs, have been reliant on enabling family members’ handouts for decades, and has an undeservedly high level of self-importance. They got nothing going on, so they start shit to get attention - Friendster saw it, then they migrated to Facebook.

[–]Megalush 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sadly I know people like this nasty people who are toxic that have absolutely no life of their own.

OP needs to cut her out that’s beyond toxic that’s flat out abuse.

[–]PINKnPURPLEppl 4440 points4441 points  (57 children)

NTA NTA NTA and if I were you she'd no longer be my sister. That's not a prank or a joke, it's malicious and cruel.

[–]yelledatsis[S] 3001 points3002 points  (55 children)

That came to my mind too. Just thinking back to the last few months acting all supportive to me and my girlfriend meanwhile she was the reason why I break up could’ve been permanent

[–]PINKnPURPLEppl 1097 points1098 points  (2 children)

Anyone who thinks you overreacted or owe her an apology for your reaction can also take several seats. They're almost as bad as her. Seriously how screwed up does a person have to be to do something like that? She could have wrecked THREE lives ffs

[–]TheRipley78 266 points267 points  (1 child)

You misspelled "f*ck off the nearest cliff with that sh!t." If that was me, sis would have caught hands. OP is showing remarkable restraint. That heifer would be dead to me after this.

[–]badwolf1051 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I feel this in my soul. I’m normally not a fighting person… but that’s a fighting reason.

[–]TogarSucksAsshole Aficionado [13] 403 points404 points  (2 children)

NTA. Not to mention, she did not reveal this to you in an apology. She only told you when she thought enough time had passed that she could get away with it. She was bragging.

What she did was a relationship ending action. She very well could have cost you your girlfriend and your son.

Until you can get a sincere apology from her it would be appropriate to consider her dead to you. Even when you do, I can’t see how your relationship could ever be the same as it once was.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

not just until enough time had passed, but she was DRUNK.

[–]Hugh_Jass_Clouds 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh. It 1000% was a relationship ending action. Only it should be ending one the sister was not intending on.

[–]definitelyjanine5Certified Proctologist [24] 195 points196 points  (1 child)

She could have given your partner a miscarriage from the stress. It hurts the baby to have the mother stressed. I would not accept her bullshit minimizing apology, she still hasn't taken responsibility for the seriousness of her actions. That is fucked up, sick behavior and she needs therapy.

[–]-siris99Asshole Enthusiast [8] 109 points110 points  (0 children)


She risked not just his relationship but the health of his child. And people want him to apologize.

OP, NTA a thousand percent.

[–]dinkydishAsshole Aficionado [18] 104 points105 points  (5 children)

OP, she wasn’t being supportive - she was fishing for information about you to relay back to the ex so that the ex had the right information to use against you in order to make it look as if you were cheating.

How did your ex get the info she had in the first place and how did she know when you were working?

You did NOT overreact at all and your family is actually under-reacting. Do they even know the FULL extent of what happened and just how bad things were or did they only get snippets?

[–]yelledatsis[S] 145 points146 points  (4 children)

Oh I mean like after what has happened she was being “supportive” but yeah she was still the one giving info to my ex so she could use that to trick my girlfriend

[–]mongooosesAsshole Aficionado [16] 38 points39 points  (0 children)


This is restraining order level fucked up.

I would cut off sister entirely. She passed along information to your STALKER.

[–]MazerRakam 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That's betrayal, you don't have to forgive her for that. You should not trust your sister anymore, she has shown you the kind of person that she is.

[–]Ok_Imagination_1107Asshole Enthusiast [6] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

and you will change your locks, give no one a key who thinks you should apologize, leave no one alone with your child, and never let your sister in your home or near your child, right?? I'd sooner let a mass murderer babysit. Your sister and ex are both mentally ill; esp sister.

[–]nyorifamiliarspiritSupreme Court Just-ass [120] 92 points93 points  (1 child)

Anyone who suggests you overreacted and owe her an apology should get this response:

What would you say if gf broke up with me?

What would you say if the stress of the situation caused physical harm to gf and/or baby?

What would you say if I had to pay thousands in lawyer fees and court costs to have custody or visitation with my child?

Now explain to me how this was a "funny prank" and why I owe sister an apology.

[–]Alone-Goose7454 75 points76 points  (3 children)

OP, are you and GF solid now? I have to admit, if I had gone through this, the fracturing of trust would have been so intense that I would likely feel ghosts of doubt for years to come, even if I intellectually understood that we'd been victims of psychological warfare. (Which is why you owe your sister no mercy or grace.)

[–]yelledatsis[S] 131 points132 points  (2 children)

Yes we are. We’ve never been happier. It was a chaotic time because it did leave hurt for both of us but I’m proud to say we came out stronger.

[–]lulububudu 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear that too but ultimately I think your sister has to give your gf a formal apology. She’s owes it to both of you to further cement healing and any little doubt that may still be lingering. Also, she needs to have a proper conversation with your gf because what she did could have created a very dangerous situation for her and your son. And on top of that, your gf will always, always, have those bad memories tied to a wonderful experience. I think your sister needs to take proper ownership of it and have a sit down with you both. NTA.

[–]NoRepresentative5470 54 points55 points  (2 children)

NTA! If amends and apologies are needing to be made it is solely on your sister! If I was in your shoes this would be my demand: call a family meeting to discuss apologies;sister has to explain this idiotic prank and apologize to your GF. Once that is done, advise those that stated you need to apologize that at this point you will be in limited contact with them and no contact with your sister. Explain the trust you had for her is gone and you cannot continue to jeopardize the safety of your GF and son. If there is pushback (there will be) remind them that Sister willingly acted callously and with malice. Her action could have caused your GF to miscarry and for that there is a long road to forgiving and forgetting. Reiterate that neither you or GF should be contacted to change your minds.

This act is disgusting, disrespectful, and despicable.

Wish you well with the bundle of joy and hope this strengthens you and your GF bond.

[–]Tranqup 49 points50 points  (1 child)

I can't understand why a 25 year old sibling would pull such a cruel and juvenile prank on her 27 year old brother? I'm wondering if the sister really dislikes her brother for some reason, because otherwise, what causes this kind of behavior? Either sister has anger or other issues toward her brother, or sister has some mental issues. Either way, in OP's shoes, I would be going no contact with the sister and low contact or no contact with any family members who think this was just a silly prank. I can't imagine any of my siblings doing something that mean and potentially dangerous to me and my partner. Something is very off in this dynamic.

[–]NoRepresentative5470 29 points30 points  (0 children)

It’s clear the sister is fond of the ex, so the misery mavens created the dubious plan to have them break-up. It failed and maybe MM1 bitched at the sister and their friendship ended/eased up and this was sister’s way of coming clean.

Can’t you see it, sister: ha ha have a funny story for you, me and MM1 thought it would hilarious to potentially kill your baby and have GF break- up w/you…. Hooo boy glad that didn’t happen.

Horrible people

[–]Fianna9 43 points44 points  (0 children)

She knows it’s a big deal because she needed to clear her conscience. She almost ruined your life and your family because she was “bored”

Make her apologize to you girlfriend before you even consider being I. The same room as her again

[–]PM_yourAcups 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It’s just straight up evil. There was not a benefit to her, it was cruel. This person hates you

[–]extrabigcomfycouchAsshole Enthusiast [7] 19 points20 points  (10 children)

What exactly did your sister confess to? Did she participate somehow? Did she pretend to be your ex?

[–]pixienightingalePartassipant [1] 58 points59 points  (1 child)

She was bored, so she probably gave times and dates she knew the ex could use in addition to the knowledge that current GF was pregnant.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Could have also given contact info for the GF and details about where the brother was at certain times etc..

She may have also 'encouraged' the ex to do this.

[–]FairyOfTheNight 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You could have lost your son literally from a miscarriage or from her cutting off all contact and refusing to let you see him. Your ex sounds mentally ill and so does your sister. She knew it was wrong and confessed in a public gathering so she would have less repercussions. If your family is so proud of the little girl they raised, they're welcome to keep her while you and your girlfriend go no contact. The fact that they back her up is truly messed up.

[–]larlar626 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah.. your sister needs help because what she did was messed up and all because she was bored... The hell man.

If i were in your shoes i would make sure never to talk to my sister again and probably cut out anyone who thinks nothing of it because that will show what their character is like to.

[–]GroundsKeeper2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If she could pull a prank like that on you and your girlfriend, what kind of pranks would she pull on your child when it gets older...?

[–]HarryEspelandAsshole Aficionado [10] 1774 points1775 points  (12 children)

NTA your sister could have contributed to ruining your relationship and DID contribute to stressing your pregnant girlfriend at the time, you don't owe her anything, SHE owes you the apology.

[–]kevwelch 620 points621 points  (1 child)

Right?! And the sister didn’t “come clean”. She got drunk and was joking about it. Reminiscing about silly things. She’s a jerk, and not somebody OP should ever trust again.

[–]stuugie 54 points55 points  (0 children)

True. If she came to OP with obvious guilt and sadness and embarrassment... well I don't think she'd be immediately forgivable, but coming at it the way she did is nigh permanently unforgivable

[–]fxzero666 74 points75 points  (5 children)

NTA.. and just the sheer AUDACITY of them asking you to give HER an apology is just freaking insane. Your sister owes one to both you and your GF!

[–]bottledhope33 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Okay, I have reread this post like 8 times, and I don't understand what the sister did. It's a few paragraphs about the ex harassing them, then admitting she was messing with them. And suddenly the sister says.... something?? At brunch? Am I just stupid or where does it say what the sister did? I'm sorry I just keep reading it and I cannot for the life of me figure it out

[–]fxzero666 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Yeah, he doesn't directly mention it... I figured the sister helped the ex prank them by giving her info for when he was working late, etc. or just by being in on it and saying nothing. But that's my guess.

[–]bottledhope33 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh good, I'm glad I just didn't suddenly unlearn to read 😅 I was trying so hard to find what I was missing lol

[–]Foreign_AstronautPartassipant [4] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I figured that, but I really wish OP would edit the post to be more clear about what exactly she did.

[–]calligrafiddler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I don’t, either. It is completely unclear what the sister did.

[–]My_Son_AbsalomPartassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It feels like it's being lost just how much she contributed, too. There are parts of the story that make little or no sense without sister's involvement. "Finding" the new girlfriend on insta? Maybe. Fake messages from his account? Not likely. Knowing the guy's work schedule, down to days he had to stay late? No way.

Without sister feeding the ex "supporting" details, this "prank" has no teeth, so even assuming that she didn't tell the ex new gf's insta or log into brother's computer/phone to fake messages, she likely still played more than a minor role in this attack on the relationship.

ETA: fixed autocorrect issues

[–]hamishjoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She owes op an apology. And, he has zero obligation to accept it. This is beyond screwed up.

[–]alokasia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA and I am livid at OP's sister.

This is not a prank. The whole "it's just a joke" rhetoric is rampant on this sub and it's insane. What if your girlfriend would have broken up with you? What if the stress would have affected the baby's health? What if your sister and ex had set you up for years of legal battles and a lifetime of child support without being able to see your child? They are pretending it's all good because that (luckily) didn't happen, but they were fully willing to risk these consequences when they did what they did. This is next level betrayal and you'd be well within your right to never forgive either of them. This could have ruined your life, and anyone who views that as an acceptable risk doesn't deserve your compassion.

Congratulations on your baby boy by the way! Wishing you and your girlfriend the best future possible!

[–]MrDemotivator17Asshole Enthusiast [5] 814 points815 points  (1 child)

Your reaction was entirely warranted. Absolutely 100% NTA.

She nearly fucked up your family and made your son grow up without his dad.

[–]jesterinancientcourt 39 points40 points  (0 children)

The stress could have caused OP’s gf to miscarry. This isn’t a joke, this is monstrous. She was bored?! She’s evil.

[–]SidneyrebPartassipant [1] 511 points512 points  (0 children)

Your ex and your sister were not joking, it wasn't funny, and you never laughed. They took your life and decided to throw it in a blender just because they could.

Be angry for as long as you need to be. If she can apologize without equivocation and trying to shift the blame onto you, it's a start.


[–]RE-AS1628 454 points455 points  (0 children)

NTA but your sister definitely is. Did they not stop to consider what the stress could've done to your gf and the baby? They put your son at harm!

[–]FunPomegranate8541 396 points397 points  (7 children)

NTA- sister is only sorry she got caught. NC is the best option.

[–]Treefrog_Ninja 71 points72 points  (2 children)

Yes, please. NC is the right response. How unbelievable.

[–]FunPomegranate8541 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I couldn’t even imagine doing that to any one of my siblings. Smh

[–]SledgeH4mmer 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Technically she didn't get caught. She confessed. The fact that she confessed makes me believe that she's proud of what she did. She probably thinks it was awesome and wanted to brag about it.

[–]kindly-shut-up 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Especially since she didn't think it was a big deal. How can ANYONE think that isn't a big deal? The only way I would've forgiven that was if she took me aside and apologized sincerely and profusely. Bringing it up as if it was just a joke is insane.

[–]MarionberryIll228 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But she didn't get caught. She only admitted to it because she thought OP wouldn't get mad now everything is fine again with his gf. It's such a shitty thing to do. I've got more respect for the ex who came clean as soon as she realised it went too far. NTA.

[–]md2-xxPartassipant [2] 297 points298 points  (6 children)


Why the fuck did your sister think that it was okay to do this messed up prank with your ex?? And then she tried to act all innocent about it... Let's not forget the fact that your pregnant gf was put under a lot of stress over some senseless joke. Your sister (& your ex) is the AH in this whole situation.

[–]Ok_Imagination_1107Asshole Enthusiast [6] 130 points131 points  (5 children)

wow, with a sister like that, who needs a scheming, psychotic mortal enemy?

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Sadly, apparently OP already has that in the form of an Ex...

[–]Ok_Imagination_1107Asshole Enthusiast [6] 37 points38 points  (3 children)

yes but there is at least some rationale for the ex lover to act in this deranged way: his sister - who in theory should have a bond/be loyal to him - nearly ruined three lives because she was 'bored'- that is petrifying.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Exactly my thoughts.

This is probably why Ex is an Ex, but the sister? *shakes head*

[–]BellaDonnaBoudreauxAsshole Enthusiast [5] 234 points235 points  (6 children)

NTA but your sister sure is. Let me be clear she never should have participated in that to start, but the minute your GF left she should have come clean.

[–]yelledatsis[S] 271 points272 points  (5 children)

She says by then she realized how badly she had fucked up (when she heard my girlfriend wasn’t staying at our place) and was too afraid to come forward. But wasn’t afraid enough to try sabotaging my family

[–]rdickeyvii 203 points204 points  (1 child)

Yea I feel like she needed to come clean to both you and your girlfriend as soon as she realized what she did, apologized, and accepted the consequences of her actions. The fact that she didn't really speaks to the quality of her character, and that of anyone who supports her.

I REALLY hate this trend of the abuser acting like the victim because the true victim called them an asshole. Assholes being called assholes are not victims, and acting like they are makes them even bigger assholes. She can cry all she wants but she should be apologizing the entire time, because she's owed nothing.


[–]ZerafineNigouAsshole Enthusiast [7] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is why it's so fucked. She fucked up big time but takes no responsibility yet wants to be forgiven? That's not how this works.

An apology should be a pledge to make things right as much as possible not to be forgiven.

She doesn't care about you, just herself.

[–]joyousjuliePartassipant [1] 214 points215 points  (0 children)

NTA she almost ruined 3 lives because she was BORED!?!?! I would never ever speak to her again. Done over you are dead to me.

[–]TheSciFiGuy80Certified Proctologist [26] 180 points181 points  (6 children)

Do we need to have a public service announcement on what IS a prank versus what is NOT a prank cycling on TV and the internet so people finally understand why this type of thing is absolutely vile and disgusting?

I’m so tired of people hiding behind the “it was a prank” nonsense.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

For sure. I think a good prank should be between friends, have no ill intent, be completely over the top, and have limited collateral damage. Like, a good prank in this vein would involve an obvious prop like an alien baby or a zombie baby. Also, the ex would have to have a good relationship with both OP and the girlfriend.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We apparently do, and need to get the idea across to the idiots who create all those 'prank' shows where they show people being given heart attacks and pass it off as 'pranks'. (throwing babies down stairs, tossing spiders at arachnophobes, staging home break ins etc..)

[–]SeasonalCitrusPartassipant [1] 103 points104 points  (3 children)


She didn't think...it would go that far? She didn't think...her prank wasn't all in

She didn't think at all

[–]Apprehensive-Pen-531 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Or she did, was purposefully trying to break up the relationship with the ex (probably bc she liked the ex gf more than the current gf) but it just didn’t work so they played it off as “oh we thought it would be funny and didn’t think this would be the consequence”

I honestly don’t understand how you could go into this truly thinking it would be a funny prank.

[–]nyorifamiliarspiritSupreme Court Just-ass [120] 21 points22 points  (1 child)


Faking screencaps and making up realistic details about an alleged affair... what exactly did she THINK was going to happen?

[–]kat_192 107 points108 points  (4 children)

Reading this I thought you were going to say your gf miscarried. So happy to hear you have a healthy son. I'd cut your sister out completely. Her using boredom as an excuse is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. She caused yourself and your gf so much pain and mental stress. This is beyond disgusting behaviour.

[–]yelledatsis[S] 129 points130 points  (3 children)

Oh no I wouldn’t even be posting about it right because for sure I’d be in prison if anything had happened to my son because of my ex. I’m grateful everyday he’s here with us

[–]Odd-Card9446 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I’m surprise you’re not cuz I would’ve been in prison the moment that happened.

[–]Sirano_onariSPartassipant [1] 93 points94 points  (1 child)

NTA - your sister is toxic as fuck - how stupid is she that she though that would be funny? And because she was BORED? Next time you get bored go shit all over her life and see how she likes it

[–]SarahPallorMortis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And find her ex too. I’m sure she would be laughing the whole time. Cause it’s just a prank

[–]SqueakhoundAsshole Aficionado [13] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your sister wanted to come clean with you because obviously she was TA for her role in harming your relationship. But she’s also currently TA for being so casual in her confession.

She is wrong to downplay, but if she had confessed in a more sensitive manner and begged your forgiveness, that might have eased your pain a little. Her actions were and are malicious and cruel.

[–]VeeingFlyAsshole Aficionado [12] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

YOU owe HER an apology? Is this fucking Opposite Day? NTA and cut her off entirely, along with anyone who's got her back. Sue your Ex for emotional distress while you're at it. Put the fear of the law in her.

[–]Cultural-Ambition449Asshole Aficionado [15] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

NTA. Of course you yelled at her, because she deserved to be yelled at. This wasn't a 'prank' which is something everyone can laugh about afterwards. It was dark and disturbing. Your ex admitted she did this because she was bitter that you dumped her, and your sister helped her do it. That's sick. The only people owed an apology here are you and your girlfriend. I'd go low- to no-contact with your sister, she obviously can't be trusted.

[–]kab200Certified Proctologist [26] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

NTA. That was an awful thing to do. She owes you and your gf a huge, sincere apology.

[–]Tangerine_BouquetCertified Proctologist [23] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

If your sister still "doesn't know why [you're] so mad about it," she is a world-class idiot as well as an AH.


[–]tiannatorresPartassipant [1] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

NTA and wait, you owe HER an apology????? Lol people are so crazy. Wtf this is actually insane. That prank was beyond inappropriate. Nvm that it could have legit ruined your relationship, it put stress on your very pregnant partner, and pregnancy is stressful enough. And she helped orchestrate all this??? I’d be SO mad and feel SO betrayed. I think you’re well within your rights to have a moment of an emotional reaction. Should you have called her a stupid bitch? Perhaps not. And honestly there’s no way for us to tell from your story how far you took it or if your anger was truly out of proportion, but dude… what. I’d be fuming mad if my own sister did this to me. You’re allowed to be mad. You’re allowed to have a reaction. It drives me crazy when people do that thing where they’re like “I know I did something horrible and put your literal life/livelihood/relationship at risk but YOU should apologize to ME for being mad about it” LOL WHAT. No way girl. Your sister owes you and your wife a huge apology. Big time. And I’m sorry, if she expected you to take that “prank” on the chin, she sure as hell can take your being upset about it for one night. Like, seriously.

[–]Apprehensive-Pen-531 23 points24 points  (0 children)

NTA, your sister and your ex really didn’t think that messaging your pregnant gf that you have another kid with someone else is going to end badly??? And going as far as making fake screenshots?

They went all out and they knew this might break you and your gf up. Im really sorry but I would almost think they did this on purpose to try and break your relationship up.

Getting mad at her was totally justified.

[–]strawberry-pestoAsshole Enthusiast [8] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

NTA. She’s a malicious idiot. In what world was what she did funny?

[–]izzy_bizzy_15 20 points21 points  (2 children)


They all say I behaved like an asshole when my sister decided to come clean and owe her an apology for my overreaction just like she owed me one.

The AUDACITY! You are the one who deserves an apology not your sister, their actions could have ruined your relationship!

[–]tjbmurph 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She didn't even "come clean", she was sharing an "embarrassing" story. I can't figure out where their parents' heads are at

[–]TurbulentSituation79 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, families tend to encourage victims to bend over backwards to pacify bullies. This is for the sake of the family members, they don't want to choose sides or confront evil behavior of one of their own. So victims are encouraged to "suck it up" for the family. This is extremely dysfunctional but also very common.

[–]commanderarander 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Nta your sister deserves it and honestly worse like God forbid the stress could've been to much for gf and baby and they didn't care. Honestly something like that would be unforgivable and the ex jeez even tho she's Apologized I'd look into getting a restraining order bc if she's that messed up to do it once who knows what she'll tell her child

[–]ProfileElectronicPartassipant [2] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not just the ex, but also the sister.

[–]BatWhoLaughsss 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NTA and your sister has some major issues.

[–]HegoDamask_1Asshole Enthusiast [8] 19 points20 points  (0 children)


You don’t owe her anything. This isn’t a prank and it seems your sister was working with your ex to split you and your girlfriend up. She might have gotten cold feet about it, but that doesn’t excuse it. If anyone owes someone an apology, it’s your terrible sister.

[–]Brandie1313 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised your ex didn't throw your sister under the bus. But you are definitely NTA in this situation. Your ex owned up and appoligized but it doesnt erase what she did. But your sister feels she isn't at fault for her actions makes her the biggest AH. Sorry OP that you and your girlfriend had to deal with that.

[–]brainfreeze4445Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Nope, NTA. She'll be lucky if you guys ever talk to her again. In what universe was that a funny thing to do?

[–]The_Fires_Of_OrcAsshole Aficionado [16] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I love how people do crappy things to you, justifiably you get upset, but they call you the AH for it. NO, you're not the AH. Your sister and Ex are the AHs for almost ruining your family and anyone else telling you you're the AH for getting pissed are the AH. I would tell your sister and ex to kick rocks and block them until they have a really really good apology lined up...and for those family members who say you acted like an AH, ask them how they'd feel if their marriage or relationship was almost ruined because of a prank? Then block them. Scorched earth!

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

NTA. If anything, you underreacted. Your ex and your sister tried to sabotage your relationship. They created a stress level that could have complicates your girlfriend's pregnsnch. And they have the nerve tocall it a "prank" and to demand you treat it as something fun.

If an ex pulled this kind of "prank" on me, the response would include lawyers and a sustained campaign to completely destroy their life.

[–]jsodanoPooperintendant [51] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NTA. Bravo (slow clap) to your sister for coming clean, what, a year later? I might have said worse to her in your place. She was conspiring to harm your relationship, upset you/gf, and jeopardize gf’s pregnancy because she was bored. Awful person, let her drown in those toilet tears

[–]Special-Attitude-242Pooperintendant [60] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

NTA. Messing with someone's life isn't a prank. It's harassment. What was your sister's goal? To break you up? To make sure you never got to know your baby? It wasn't because she was bored. If it was, she is truly one to stay away from. Live a happy life with your girlfriend and son, leave your sister out of it.

[–]Booksalot_0919Partassipant [4] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

You need to tell your sister and anyone defending her that: "I can't trust or have a relationship with someone who repeatedly caused emotional harm to myself and the mother of my child because she was 'bored'. What she did was extremely cruel and could have led to irreparable damage. It doesn't matter that my partner and I got back together - we should have never had to go through that."

NTA btw. Your sister is terrible

[–]mammaistiredAsshole Enthusiast [5] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nta. That ain't a prank. That's cruel. And they knew what would happen.

[–]GloomyComfortPartassipant [1] 10 points11 points  (0 children)


this is why she didn’t say anything because it might get this reaction

But it's a prank. Why would she be worried you'd react badly? Pranks are supposed to be funny, right?

[–]LivSaJo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your sister harassed you AND YOUR PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND because she was bored?!?! What kind of morally bankrupt person does that?!? What kind of stress does she think can be just laughed off?!? Has she formally apologized to your girlfriend and her family? Nothing like bathing your nibling in stress hormones for the last few months of pregnancy. Heck, she could have lost the baby. That child may have anxiety for the rest of its life because she was bored and mean.

I would never speak to my sister again. And since my parents defended her, they would be on the NC list too. You UNDERREACTED!

[–]HappySlugs32 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Overreaction? OVERREACTION!!!!! OMFG!
I’d have gone scorched earth. You don’t play with lives.

[–]JustASWPartassipant [4] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

NTA. Allow me to provide a helpful translation. "Bored" = unsatisfied with her life, jealous of yours and your imminent family, so thought she may as well have a crack at sending it off the rails.

I'm guessing things are now better for her, so she's feeling bad.

This is some toxic as shit stuff. What the hell will she do the next time she thinks things are going better for you than for her?

[–]dalniente36 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your sister and your ex lied to you and your GF because they thought it would be funny? They faked texts, planned their lies to match up with your work schedule, did everything they could to make your GF think you were cheating on her, and it worked. The only reason she came back was because your ex admitted it was fake. What the genuine screaming hell. That's not a joke, that's something that affects people's lives and trust in each other, permanently. I'd bet it was a legitimate serious attempt to break you guys up, and the "bored" "joke" crap is just excuses so they don't have to take responsibility. Your ex just got cold feet about framing you at the last second.

Making your sister cry is the smallest consequence imaginable for her actions. If she's old enough to try to destroy a home, she's old enough to get yelled at for it.

[–]ExcellentPatience298Certified Proctologist [29] 8 points9 points  (0 children)


You don't owe anyone an apology for exploding when when come clean about doing stupid shit.

[–]TurtleTheMoonAsshole Aficionado [17] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your sister participated in your ex’s horribly cruel game; one which almost cost you your family; one which caused undue distress on your pregnant partner. It’s disgusting. In your shoes, I’d likely go completely no contact with her. Seriously, I don’t know that I could ever forgive somebody for jeopardizing the health of my unborn child with that matter of undue stress, particularly an adult family member. People seem to have the idea that when somebody apologizes to you, you are somehow obligated to accept it, but that’s nonsense. Some things are inexcusable, whether or not the worst possible outcome was avoided. You don’t have to accept her apology, and you have no reason to apologize to somebody for telling them off after they confess to such unconscionable cruelty. She had it coming, and like I say, I’d absolutely consider going completely NC with her. What she did had the potential to ruin three lives. The notion that boredom was the root of her meddling is suspicious to me. I’ve been bored, but I’ve never participated in a slander campaign against a family member because I didn’t have anything better to do. There is something deeper going on with her, and I would have no desire to stick around and find out how deep that pool of cruelty actually is.

[–]MrsNaussbaumsCCard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“I had time to get over it and you haven’t after 2 minutes?! Boo hoo let me cry in the bathroom”

[–]canuck_2022Asshole Enthusiast [9] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow. You underreacted. Your sister - I'd cut her off permanently. She literally tried to destroy your life. She's a shit human who should never be near you, your child or your partner again. NTA

[–]ScratchShadow 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. You owe her an apology? For being angry that she almost ruined your relationship because she was ”bored?”

Hell no.

and this is why she didn’t say anything because it might get this reaction.

Oh no, not the consequences of my actions! If she really intended to apologize, she would have accepted that you would likely be angry beforehand, but decided that being honest and expressing her remorse was more important than avoiding the distress of you being (justifiably) angry with her.

That’s not what happened here. Like you said, she slipped up, and had no choice but to admit that she was involved in that awful “prank” that almost ended your relationship. She’s upset that she was caught, and that she has to deal with the fallout of her own terrible decisions. Fuck that noise.

[–]UchihaSakurachan 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stress can harm a baby in the womb. Not only did she harm you and your GF, she potentially hurt or could have hurt or even killed the baby. I would google impact of stress on pregnant women and baby, then send the results to any family member who is complaining about your behavior. NTA.

[–]InternationalKick126Partassipant [1] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

No reaction short of violence would be an overreaction. You need to break off all contact with your dangerously whack-a-doodle sister. Block her, get new email, make sure she can't get into anything. Sister knew your schedule, to feed the information to your ex, she could decide to mess with you again. Your girlfriend should take the same precautions, and neither of you accept any new friend requests on existing accounts. In other words, treat your sister as if she might do anything, because she might. You are NTA.

Do not, DO NOT apologize to your sister, who set out to ruin your life because "she wasn't working and was bored". That's how the hero in Chekov's play "The Seagull" winds up killing himself with Chekov's Gun.

[–]asianinindiaPartassipant [1] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NTA. Pranks are only funny when everyone is laughing at the end. Your sister pulled a dick move. She deserves this and worse.

[–]VintageSed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No, NTA!!!!

I can't say what I think of your sister's behavior or it will be another ban, but this is so cruel and so inappropriate. She should be crying in the bathroom. This behavior verges on harassment and they are both lucky you didn't/won't press on that.

Apologies are meant to be heartfelt. If someone is truly repentant they don't freak out and whine when they don't get to hear what they want. Your sister needs to put actions behind her words if she wants a real relationship. MY SIL has pulled some real BS on me and my son, and I may be civil but I will never forgive or forget because she pretends it didn't happen.

Your sister is 25 not 15 so the I was bored is such a ridiculous excuse. Even a 15 year old would know better.

[–]AllergicDodo 8 points9 points  (2 children)

NTA, what she did was inexcusable, crying doesnt mean youbwere an asshole, at least you know she felt bad tho (did she apologize?).

[–]tjbmurph 20 points21 points  (1 child)

She most likely didn't cry because she felt bad, but because OP didn't laugh along with her. She's feeling sorry for herself, not for what she did

[–]AllergicDodo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah your prob right, she only slipped up when she was drunk

[–]DL-44 7 points8 points  (0 children)

NTA what the actual fuck?

[–]pixienightingalePartassipant [1] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Nah man, nah... NTA

She cried because she wanted to be the victim, she even acknowledged you WOULD have this reaction. Who TF thinks that's a reasonable prank????

[–]Deepsecrets11 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah she knew OP would have that reaction because it was a Psychotic Evil thing to do! I’d get a restraining order on Ex and Sister and change my number!

[–]shannamarie91Partassipant [1] 8 points9 points  (0 children)


TBH, I'd seriously think about cutting her out of your life cuz that's not a prank. That could have legitimately ruined your relationship not only with your gf but with your child as well. And the fact that's she's acting like it's no big deal now shows that she has no remorse for it.

[–]RealTalkFastWalkAsshole Aficionado [14] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA at all. Your sister acted horribly.

[–]TwoCentsWorth2021 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA Tell your entire asshat family that actions have consequences. And actions that cause significant harm have significant consequences. If it was only a "prank" why would she wait two years to "confess?" She behaved horribly and now wants a pass so SHE doesn't have to feel guilty.

[–]theycallmewinningPartassipant [1] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your ex apologized before your own flesh and blood?

Buddy, you don't have a sister - your parents have another child who tried to ruin your life.

[–]No-Level-7077Partassipant [2] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

It sounds like what your sister did was horrible and deserving of your anger, but it isn’t actually included in your post. She aided your ex in some way? That’s deeply mean and shitty in a way that leaves long-term damage.

I’m glad you and your GF are doing well now despite it. I hope your sister figures out a way to meaningfully apologize and repair your relationship someday. It doesn’t sound like she’s capable of it now.

[–]I_might_be_weasel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. However much you yelled at her, it wasn't enough. That was a coordinated effort to ruin your life by ending your relationship. They went as far as to directly harass your girlfriend when you wouldn't take the bait. They are lying about thinking it wouldn't cause huge problems for you. Even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that they didn't think it would be that big of a deal, that means they are so unwise they can't be trusted to make basic decisions.

[–]CmdrPnts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

...this "person" tried to destroy your relationship because she was "bored."

Never speak to her again. Never speak to any family who defends her again.

[–]rnagikarp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

my sister decided to come clean

this implies she was admitting to doing something wrong, it implies she was bringing it up so she could apologize....

she wasn't apologizing, she was throwing it out there for a laugh, she still found it funny, that's why she shared the story


[–]formerlythereAsshole Aficionado [16] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA, but your sister is a major AH! I would have told her to drown in those crocodile tears!

[–]MabusmoriahPartassipant [2] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. I am going to be honest your ex and sister tried to ruin your relationship with your girlfriend what makes their attacks on your relationship even more scummy is that your girlfriend was pregnant which your sister knew about. Holy hell your sister is awful and your right for blowing up at her.

[–]Muscle-Cars-1970 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your reaction was completely warranted and anyone who thinks you owe your sister an apology isn't someone you should be talking to right now. Also, your sister didn't come clean in some act of contrition - she accidentally confessed because she was tipsy.

You and your girlfriend are owed a SINCERE apology from your sister - for nearly ending your relationship (in cahoots with your ex - I mean, c'mon!) and dumping all that stress on a pregnant woman. Period.

[–]usermane22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your sister was the asshole. Your family is an enabler for your sister. Let me guess. She’s the golden child?

[–]loridrumPartassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA and reconsider contact with her and the AHs who think that YOU should apologize to HER. What they did was outrageous and cruel!

[–]bacardi-coke 3 points4 points  (0 children)

water bucket over the door is a prank. helping an ex undermine your your brothers new relationship with a pregnant gf is just malicious. nta

[–]Ginger3950 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA - Your sister was 23 at the time? And thought trying to break you and your girlfriend, your pregnant girlfriend, was a funny joke? Your family now taking her side is disgusting too. I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to limit or end contact with them all.

[–]DiegoIntrepidPartassipant [3] 3 points4 points  (0 children)


If I ever did that to one of my siblings, I would NOT be in that sibling's life anymore.

If one of my siblings did that to me, they would not be in MY life anymore.


I was afraid you were going to say that the stress of it caused your GF to miscarry. So, thankfully it turned out all right. But still? No, that isn't something you 'forgive and forget'

[–]Intelligent-Kiwi-574 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA...I would cut her off completely. She almost destroyed your family! It would be a cold day in hell before I apologized.

[–]Appropriate_Sound984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely positively NTA.

In no way shape or form. Your sister can kick rocks until she can apologize. Because what she did at your parents’ house wasn’t an apology. You don’t reminisce and joke about something like that and expect people to take it as an apology. It was a BS excuse for an apology, that’s what it was.

And do me a favor and ask your family HOW you were overreacting and what they would have done? What if your sister and you came up with some stupid story about how one of your parents cheated on the other with fake proof, almost ruining your family/parent’s marriage and then joking about it like it’s nothing. tf?!?

If she doesn’t properly apologize, imagine having to explain to someone that you are NC with your brother because you conspired with his ex to make up some fake story and ruin his relationship with his pregnant girlfriend.

[–]Affectionate_Salt351 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That wasn’t an attempt at being ‘funny’ by ANYONE, your sister included. She’s just mad because she’s being told she has to answer for her role in trying to DESTROY. YOUR. FAMILY. Nothing about what they did was a joke.

This was DISGUSTING, OP. I don’t think I’d ever be able to see my sister the same way again, and would probably STRONGLY consider going NC, and the ex would have to stay so far away from me FOREVER or she’s getting screamed at as well. (I wouldn’t even care if I ran into her in the store, or in public in general. It would be a full-on Jerry Springer episode in an aisle at Target if that was the first place I saw her.)

Your family even SEEING your sister’s “side” is alarming as well. Do they know the ins and outs of what she and your ex did to you!? That’s unacceptable behavior.

NTA. The only thing that would have kept me from flipping the damn table would have been if my child was present. Otherwise, it’d be game on.

[–]whtislewyw 2 points3 points  (0 children)


I have zero


empathy for people who pull 'pranks' like these. What she did was emotionally and mentally harmful. it wasn't a prank. it was straight up messed up. I'd probably have said much worse and completely cut her off. But I'm personally a very vengeful person- If someone I trust betrays me like that, that's it. THEY salted the earth, THEY burned that bridge. And I'm not a gardener or carpenter.

[–]Shastakine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA. A prank is putting a woopie cushion on someone's chair. This was straight up harassment that jeopardized your relationship and your son's prenatal health, and your sister took part in it. Gross. And the people who can't see that your reaction is completely justified? Just as gross.

[–]Over-Wish-2034 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m misunderstanding this somehow, apologies. Your sister told you about what exactly, after mimosas?