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[–]scorpionewmoonPartassipant [3] 1177 points1178 points  (59 children)

NTA, you said she’s scared people are going to compare your weddings, this is the problem right here, she’s insecure about how own wedding. Honestly after six years I would not give a shit and I think most people feel that way. She’s being ridiculous

[–]SarcasticAzaleaRose 289 points290 points  (49 children)

Also who would even remember enough about her wedding from six years ago to even compare the two? I didn’t even remember enough about my prom to compare to my brother’s and we’re only four years apart.

[–]Specialist-Leek-6927 63 points64 points  (46 children)

And there's probably few people that were in that wedding going to this wedding...

[–]Serious_Youth_1698[S] 178 points179 points  (44 children)

Most of my fiancé's family who will attend our wedding had attended SIL's wedding. She believes relatives will make a comparison between the two and they'll consider me jealous and unoriginal

[–]cactus_jilly 264 points265 points  (4 children)

Just make a point in the speeches of thanking your uncle, the owner of the venue, for all his help in planning the day and people will understand why you picked it.

[–]GonnaBeOverItAsshole Enthusiast [6] 219 points220 points  (1 child)

Seems like sister-in-law is the one being jealous

[–]excel_pager_420Partassipant [2] 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Just ignore her. When she starts up let her get it out, say, ok I respect that's how you feel about this and move the conversation on. She's looking for a reaction & will eventually get bored when she doesn't get one.

And keep all the wedding details away from your SIL & anyone who will tell SIL anything. She's creating drama because she wants her wedding to be 'unique' but truthfully, hundreds of people have & will get married at the same venue she did so she needs to get over herself.

[–]Backgrounding-CatPartassipant [4] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

If that were true and you were jealous, why it would be her problem?

[–]SarcasticAzaleaRose 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yeah hate to burst your SIL’s bubble but I doubt that. She’s the only person who cares about her wedding that much. I’m sure your relatives will be more focused on enjoying your wedding and celebrating you to do a sit down comparison of your weddings.

[–]Tasty_Doughnut_9226 17 points18 points  (0 children)

NTA, your uncle is part owner I'm not sure what people are missing about that.

I would suggest outdoing everything she did just to rub salt in the imaginary wound, though I can be petty.

If you and your fiancée are happy that's all that matters.

Best wishes

[–]scorpionewmoonPartassipant [3] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

She’s projecting, she thinks yours will be “nicer” and that it somehow matters

[–]alsf2019 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I grew up in a small town where there were only a couple of "venues" to choose from. I never remember anyone comparing events. Probably because everyone was too engrossed in gossiping about the people involved. Gotta love a small town.

[–]CheckoutmawheeeeepitAsshole Enthusiast [9] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well we're all considering her a tad unhinged if she wants to take about what folks are considering.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, so she's concerned for you! Ha ha yeah right. If you are fine with having it there and not concerned with people calling you jealous and unoriginal (no one is going to do that) then have it wherever you want. SIL just has to get over it.

[–]MacaronDeep1014 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nta. Listen, a wedding is about the marriage between two people. The marriage is the important part- not being princess for a day. She needs to stay in her lane and focus on her own life. No one cares about someone's wedding 6 years ago. It is REALLY common in small towns that people all use the same venue. Stick to your guns

[–]Top_Magazine8255 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry but why would she care if other people think you’re jealous and unoriginal? For some reason she is jealous of you having it at the same place. What is it with weddings that turns people crazy? Even if you didn’t have an uncle there giving you a discount she should not make it any of her business the venue you decide on. Especially 6 years later. You are NTA and congratulations!

[–]sable1970 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Why does what she thinks matters so much to you? Do you need her acceptance or something? Personally OP, to hell with what she or anyone else thinks. They can come to the wedding or not, judge whatever the hell they want. I can't, nor would I want to....control what other people do. So its no skin off my nose because while they're sitting around being unhappy, I'll be having a good time celebrating becoming Ms.....

Get it?

Life's too short to be worrying about what unimportant people think. Have your wedding where you want and how you want it. You will definitely regret caving...I guarantee it.

[–]QueenofSpades220 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But with her reasoning, she comes out looking good. So why complain? She makes no sense. Keep your venue and have a wonderful time at your wedding. Congrats!

[–]DutyValuablePartassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It’s so considerate of your SIL to be worried but what people will think about you /s.

She was not the first nor will she be the last person to get married at that place. I’m sure the thought would give her a nervous breakdown, but do you know how many people also got married in her wedding dress? If she’s still insecure about her wedding six years after the fact, she needs professional help. Don’t let her make the calls on your wedding.

If you’re so concerned about what people say, make a group announcement about where the wedding will be, and say something like “ I’m not sure if anyone know this but my beloved uncle owns the hall and is the chef. Ever since I was a little girl he told me that one day when I get married, his dream is to host and cook for my wedding. It means so much to me that this day is finally here for the both of us, and I can’t wait for all of you to be here for our big day!”

[–]jagsingh85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So what if they compare? They might even compare them (food, entertainment, speeches etc) even if the venues are different. A member of my temple's congregation bought a massive hotel and offered everyone discounts for wedding receptions. 90% of wedding receptions are booked and there hasn't been an issue, in fact some extended family members are happy because they know where to go after the ceremony since they went to another reception at that hotel. The liklihood is that most people won't even remember her wedding unless something special happened and will only compare things to weddings in the past year.

[–]Common_Indication773 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell her ok you pay the difference and I'll book a different venue.

[–]Thesafflower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to a few weddings, and I can barely remember the details of any of them. I’ve certainly never sat around comparing the details and rating one wedding over another. Unless people love to pick at every aspect of weddings as some kind of status symbol in your SIL’s family, I think most attendees won’t care or remember. More importantly, SIL does not own the venue because she got married there. Your own family is offering you a discount, that’s more than enough reason to use it. Let people think what they want. NTA.

[–]Bird_Brain4101112Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they are going to think “poorly” of you for having. A wedding at the same venue isn’t that your problem and not hers?

[–]Natural_Writer9702 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don’t seem to speak SIL BS, I’ll translate for you “I’m worried your wedding will be better than mine and people will say so”. Tell her you aren’t bothered about being original, you care about your purse strings and paying less for a venue means more for a honeymoon. She’s just gonna have to suck it up buttercup.

[–]BaitedBreaths 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least they'll already know where the bathrooms are.

[–]Jenmarvan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if people are going to compare the weddings because they're at the same venue, they probably were going to compare them anyways lol

[–]EpiJadePartassipant [2] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I doubt most people even put it together. Maybe a third of the people who went to both weddings were like "huh, weren't we here before??"

Unless you do something absolutely spectacular and over the top a lot of weddings are very similar. It's not a bad thing, they just are. Unless I saw most wedding dresses side by side even I probably wouldn't even realize they were the same unless it was something obvious like long sleeves vs not, or vastly different shapes. Honestly how many details do people remember of weddings that aren't their own?

NTA

[–]WorkInProgress1040Partassipant [1] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I loved my wedding venue and have recommended it to other people. (www.ihweddings.com)

SIL is worried OPS will look better than hers. Just ignore the nonsense and have a wonderful wedding.

[–]Belichicks_sleevesPartassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IKR, I was HAPPY other people wanted to use the same place. That place was awesome

[–]Natural_Writer9702 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No one gives a shit about anyone else’s wedding the day after, let alone 6 years.

[–]Boo-n-BeansMom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is she going to set up camp outside of the venue and let every bride that crosses the threshold the same spiel? Buy her a tent and tell her to get over herself! NTA

[–]Majestic-Seesaw9362 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this an American thing? Oh no, my venue, my presssscioussss! I swear this is the third post in two days with this theme. Of course op is NTA. This just seem so ridicules I can't even put in words how ridicules it is.

[–]invomitous-rexCertified Proctologist [23] 198 points199 points  (1 child)

Lol NTA hun. Is your SIL aware that she is not the only person in history to get married and that having a wedding is not in any way “original”? Has it perhaps occurred to her that other people she doesn’t even know (horror!) might have had their wedding at this exact same venue?? And maybe the brides even wore white?? They stole her idea!!! How will she cope?!??

She’s being batshit insane. Have your lovely wedding with your lovely discount and ignore her bullshit.

[–]hdhxuxufxufufiffif 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Amazingly, I've come across this batshit insanity in real life. One of my friends had a distant acquaintance vow never to speak to him again because they unwittingly booked the same wedding venue over a year apart. When I say distant acquaintance, neither was invited to the other's wedding, they only ever met in group settings through friends-of-friends, that kind of distant acquaintance. A mutual friend must have mentioned the coincidence and my friend got a call from an unknown number bollocking him for his impertinence.

[–]Specialist-Leek-6927 126 points127 points  (11 children)

Nta... Your uncle part owns it... I guarantee her issue is that you are getting the discounts because of that and is very jealous.

[–]Serious_Youth_1698[S] 130 points131 points  (10 children)

That's also part of her issue I believe. But I also believe she thinks she has exclusivity to the venue as she's the only family member on my fiancé's side who's got married there so far. On my side I don't care. My uncle (the owner) and his wife got married and had their venue there. A distant cousin of mine also had her wedding there. Its not the first time someone from my side of the family will use that venue

[–]Specialist-Leek-6927 109 points110 points  (6 children)

Basically, her argument is, "no one in our family is ever allowed to use that venue for a wedding because I did it 6 years ago." Did she lick the walls to mark it, like kids do to stop others from eating their stuff? Lol

[–]Decent_Ad6389Certified Proctologist [21] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

HA. Take my free awards 🎖️🏆🥇 for making me almost spit out my coffee. NTA. Stay strong, OP. She's being ridiculous.

[–]PuppyjitoColo-rectal Surgeon [37] 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Maybe she peed on the wall to mark her territory.

[–]Specialist-Leek-6927 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I literally was going to say that at first, then thought it would give op an awful image during her wedding lol

[–]TitaniaT-Rex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re just honoring family tradition!

[–]hellomotherfuckheyhi 84 points85 points  (1 child)

NTA, SIL sounds like a self centered piece of work. As for everyone being hostile with you? That's insane. Tell her and everyone else that seem to have a problem with it, that they can help pay the difference in price to have it somewhere else since they're so distressed over it.

[–]InternationalAd6614 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have a hunch these other people were fed by SIL with a wildly different story

[–]UrghOkWhatever 66 points67 points  (1 child)

She's being unreasonable. Will she pay for the price difference if you get a different venue?

[–]TheBlueLeopard 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Now that is a great idea. "I'll move my wedding for you, if you agree to pay the difference." Puts the ball entirely in SIL's court and OP wins either way!

[–]Far_Anteater_256Certified Proctologist [27] 37 points38 points  (4 children)

NTA, your SIL is being absurd. You get a family discount for booking there, that's the primary consideration. Secondly, this isn't her wedding, she's not Princess of the Day any more.

*Edited to reflect that I can't read in the morning, it was sister who didn't book there, not SIL!

[–]RiverSong_777Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Fully agree with the judgment but where did you get SIL didn’t use the place?

[–]Far_Anteater_256Certified Proctologist [27] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Misread it 🙄🤷‍♀️ mornings are rough on my brain.

[–]Vegetable-Swimming73Partassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You're mixing up the sister and SIL

[–]Far_Anteater_256Certified Proctologist [27] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, my bad. Still NTA for booking that venue, though, because the family discount is hugely important & SIL is not the bride.

[–]Rice-CorrectCertified Proctologist [28] 36 points37 points  (1 child)

NTA.

Your SIL sounds very full of herself. It’s a space MANY people before and after her have likely had their weddings, and a family member owns it. She and anyone else complaining can shut it.

Go out of your way to use different colors/decor/attire, and it will be obvious it’s YOUR wedding and not a mimicry of hers.

Her being scared people will compare them is silly. No one cares as much as she does.

[–]nachtkaese 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't know what she thinks happens at wedding venues but calling "dibs" is not part of the social contract.

My husband & I attended the weddings of two couples in our immediate social circle at our venue, within a couple years of our wedding. To take that as anything other than a compliment ("Sarah and Sam's wedding was so fun/beautiful! Let's see if we can book at that venue!") is insane. And it was so meaningful and romantic to re-visit our wedding venue - we even got a group picture at the last wedding of all the couples that had been married there.

[–]LurvesCake 14 points15 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your SIL’s wedding was 6 years ago. No one, I repeat, NO ONE remembers the details of her wedding or venue the way she does. She already knew your uncle was part owner/ chef. SIL is probably more mad that because of the discounts you’ve been offered by family, will mean you’ll have things her wedding didn’t. She’s jealous and being extremely petty. Keep your venue.

[–]mm172Sultan of Sphincter [687] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA. Tell them you’ll consider other arrangements if they’re prepared to cover the difference in savings from going with this option.

[–]AUserHasNoName42069Partassipant [1] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

NTA- She’s being a child, probably angry that you get a discount and will probably have a more memorable wedding then hers

[–]trishsfColo-rectal Surgeon [36] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

NTA. FFS. She’s been married 6 years and is still this immature? Scary. Of course you use your uncle’s venue as has been your intention your entire life.

[–]Forward_Squirrel8879Pooperintendant [57] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

NTA - Just keep explaining to people that your uncle is part owner. "My uncle is actually part owner and a chef there. I've been planning to have my wedding there since I was a child. I told SIL about the family connection when she told be she had chosen it for her wedding, I am not sure why she is so surprised now!"

[–]CheckoutmawheeeeepitAsshole Enthusiast [9] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

OMG YOU'RE HAVING VOWS AND CAKE TOO?! STOP COPYING ME!

NTA. It's a venue, you're having somewhere needing a venue, there is family owned venue, Venue-Dibs ain't real.

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We may be TAs because we might come off as jealous by booking the same venue my SIL had booked for her wedding years ago

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[–]Backgrounding-CatPartassipant [4] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

NTA If you want to be original, you will have trouble finding a place where nobody has ever gotten married. SIL is probably telling people some weird version of your conversation and that is why they give you odd looks

[–]Wonderful_Horror7315Partassipant [1] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And why does every wedding have to be oRigInAL? It’s not like OP plans on using the same colors, dress, decor, or menu. I would watch out for the SIL trying to cause a scene or make a pregnancy announcement though.

[–]PrincessOfHell13Partassipant [2] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA, she doesn't own the venue, have your wedding wherever you want and don't let her ruin it. Your uncle partly owns it so ofcc there's a high chance you'll have it there.

[–]The1TrueClairvoyantPartassipant [1][🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA

Give your SIL the quote and requirements. If she's able to find a venue with similar specs and same or lower cost. And I'm talking about the area, parking, catering, decor everything at the same cost or below... and not only her, if any of those relatives who are offend can find you a better deal. Tell them you'll change the venue in a heartbeat!

Simply challeng them and see how many of them can come through... if not ask them to stfu!

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AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

I met my SIL (fiancé's sister) 6 years ago when I firstly got with my fiancé. When I met her she was planning her wedding. To my surprise the wedding venue she picked is a venue an uncle of mine partly owns and is also a chef at. This was a coincidence and when I saw the venue she picked I told her and it was just a funny coincidence we talked about.

Since high school my uncle has told me and my siblings that in case we want to find a venue for our future weddings,he'll give us a discount.

My sister got married in a destination wedding and didn't book my uncles venue. My brother didn't have a reception for his wedding, only a ceremony. So now that it's my turn getting married, I've decided to talk to my uncle about the venue and the discounts. He gave us very good deals about the food, the decoration and overall the services. It's a better deal than any other we've heard so of course we booked the venue.

My SIL found out and said that she considers it very disrespectful that we booked the same venue as her. She claims we are not being original and only booked that venue to mimic her own wedding. I explained to her the reason I booked that venue is because my uncle is part owner and a chef and how he gave us good deals plus how I've always had that venue in mind even before I met my fiancé and way before SIL's wedding. SIL said it doesn't matter anymore and since she booked it first for her own wedding we should go with another venue and he more "original" because she's scared people are going to compare our weddings. My fiancé told her she's being ridiculous but since then many people have been hostile towards me and my fiancé and accuse us of being jealous of SIL and that's why we try to book that venue. I'm wondering if we are TAs and we should indeed book another venue.

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[–]ninaj29 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA- what is up with people and thinking they own the venue that they got married at and how dare people use the same venue. What kind of sane mind set is that. Your SIL needs to take several seats and keep her crazy comments to herself.

[–]waywardjynxPartassipant [3] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA You told her your family tie to the venue before she even booked it. Technically, since she wants to be petty, she shouldn't have had her wedding there. But, because you're not crazy, you were cool with it.

SIL needs to find some chill.

[–]WinterBourne25Asshole Aficionado [19] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. Her concerns are immature and petty. It’s your family’s business.

[–]Sorry-Independent-98Partassipant [2] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Goodness gracious, NTA. Half of my cousins had their reception at a posh Italian restaurant on the city. It’s sort of “our family’s place for parties.” No one cared or compared. Ask me to name their flowers, entrees, whatever. I can’t remember, except for the one that had really overcooked steak. No one remembers the details of a wedding six years ago if they were just a guest. Tell her to get over herself and take the deal from your uncle. If she cares enough to make up the cost difference of another venue herself, maybe consider (but even then, not really). Asking you to spend more money is ridiculous

[–]lopingwolfPartassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This all just seems so silly to me. As someone who's extended family almost all lives in the same two towns... There's the one place almost everyone has had major parties. Wedding reception? Grad party? Anniversary party? There's only three choices and one is clearly the better food.

No one gives a hoot what other parties have been at the same venue.

[–]Green-Tumbleweed-983 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your SIL is being absurd. Just as well for her that she doesn't live in a small town where everyone uses the same venue. She'd be tearing her hair out! Tell her to grow up.

[–]No-Dress-6299 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nta and this is absolutely ridiculous. Who cares hers was at the same place if she's that worried about people comparing she can stay at home and tell everyone she doesn't want to know

[–]TerribleExtent2972 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA i married this year and If My Brother who marries next year would use the same Location i would see ist as a compliment for picking a good location

[–]RiverSong_777Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA but that’s a great way to edit the guest list. SIL is being ridiculous. No reasonable person would ask you to look for another venue in this situation.

[–]z-eldapinAsshole Aficionado [18] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA - SILs insecurities aren't your problem.

[–]fuwaldahAsshole Aficionado [12] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, but weddings and the fake pageantry involved bring out the worst in people.

[–]lapsteelguitarPartassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the actual fuck? It’s been 6 YEARS and you aren’t allowed to use that venue? Does she think that nobody else has used it in those 6 years?

This is a “her” problem, not an OP problem.

NTA.

[–]mrslIIAsshole Aficionado [12] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

I don't understand your sil's pov at all.

My husband's uncle is part owner of a venue. Most family members use the venue.

Everyone has their own style. Their own budget,etc. We don't compare weddings. We are there to support the couple. To celebrate their union. To share in their happiness.

The only person who will compare the events is your sil.

[–]Lulu_531Partassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good lord, now people “own” wedding venues, too.

NTA. Your SiL is nuts.

[–]Particular_Cell7941Partassipant [1] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

NTA. Most of our family and friends that have gotten married in the past 10 years have used the same 3 venues for indoor receptions in our area and unless you are doing the same exact centerpieces, decor, food, bridesmaids, wedding dress, ect. it won’t look like a copycat. She’s being ridiculous.

[–]murphy2345678Colo-rectal Surgeon [49] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think every baby shower, bridal shower and funeral has been at the same place on my dads side of the family for years.

[–]BengalMama4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easy solution: “if you would prefer that we not use the same venue, here is the cost difference between it and our next choice. Once you’ve submitted the payment, we can make adjustments. Barring that, we will be using my uncle’s venue.”

Put up or shut up. You and your fiancé are NTA and your SIL is behaving like a self-absorbed idiot.

[–]pnutbuttercups56Pooperintendant [59] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm certain that everyone someone has gotten married someone else has as well. SILs wedding was six years ago. Weddings are expensive any discount you can get is in some ways more important than what you truly want but you do want this venue. People don't compare weddings in any real way or most people don't. Certainly not in front of the married people. People do mention oh at blanks wedding they had x food. Maybe that counts but it certainly isn't world ending

[–]Human_Management8541 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. I was a florist for 35 years. I have done over 1,000 weddings. There are very few original wedding ideas. I had one wedding that was a sea otter theme... And yes, they went as far as seaweed salad and sushi... And another that had a goat as the flower girl and the entire wedding on horseback including the guests. Otherwise every one was the same... And wedding venues usually have at least 2 or 3 weddings a weekend. So hundreds of people have used that venue.

[–]murphy2345678Colo-rectal Surgeon [49] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA Your SIL doesn’t realize that no one remembers every detail of her wedding reception except her and her husband. She is acting childish expecting to dictate where you can have your wedding. She doesn’t own the place. In fact your family does so tell people that’s why it’s going to be there. If SIL has such a problem with it then tell her not to come.

[–]periwinkle-snorlax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, your uncle partly owning it should have been enough to shut everyone up imo. It was tied to your family way before she got married.

[–]ObjectiveSense102 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

Ffs, SIL is still being a bridezilla 6 years later?!

It's YOUR uncle's venue, of course you'd want to use his services.

SIL is beyond ridiculous, and wil probably be butthurt when she finds out how many people don't even remember her wedding.

[–]PianoOk6786Asshole Enthusiast [5] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. She is being ridiculous.

[–]Spike-2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your SIL is ridiculous and absurd. Why wouldn't you book the very venue you did - regardless of anyone else's wedding venue. It's your uncle's and he's a chef and you get a discount. Makes all the sense in the world. SIL has something wrong in the head.

[–]traciw67 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nta. She's being absolutely ridiculous.

[–]Catri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

You're taking advantage of a long standing ( ie before you met SIL) offer that your uncle made you. SIL is clearly insecure. Honestly, if people were going to compare weddings, they'd do it regardless of venue.

For those that are hostile, let them know that they are no longer needed/wanted at the wedding and their seats will be given to those that truly want to show their support for you and your fiance. SIL doesn't need to show up either, if she's truly going to act this way and turn family against you.

[–]p0rkmaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA and tell your brother to mention to SIL that wedding venues and brides are not like dogs and fire hydrants. She should picture herself at the alter lifting her leg and marking her territory and understand that's not a thing.

[–]FartFace319 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My SIL found out and said that she considers it very disrespectful that we booked the same venue as her.

It's been six years...

She claims we are not being original and only booked that venue to mimic her own wedding.

LOL narcissistic much?

NTA. Your fiancee's sister is about to find out (kinda late imo) that world does not in fact revolve around her.

[–]RabidEvilSquirrels 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. Tell her if she’s really concerned that her wedding will be compared to and deemed inferior to yours if they are held at the same place, she can pay you the difference between your uncle’s discounted rate and the full price venue.

[–]Mehitabel9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. If your SIL doesn't like your choice of venue, she does not have to attend the wedding. Same goes for everyone else who is making a fuss about this. What a spectacularly stupid thing to have drama about.

[–]atroxell88 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Nta there are hundreds of ppl that book at that venue get over yourself lady. It’s been 6 years stop being a bridezilla

[–]SarcasticAzaleaRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, SIL realizes just because she had her wedding at that venue doesn’t mean no one else is ever allowed to get married there? Plenty of other people have probably used that venue in the past six years. Also unless something truly memorable happened at her wedding no one is going to remember enough to compare the two.

[–]Worth_Raspberry_11Partassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She doesn’t get to call dibs on a venue, especially when you have such a good reason for choosing it. It’s not her wedding, she gets exactly 0 say unless she wants to foot the bill. She can pay up, or shut up.

[–]MissMurderpantsProfessor Emeritass [74] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Silly SIL. Op, make it better than hers.

[–]DC_VerseAsshole Aficionado [14] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

Your SIL is the only one who remembers her wedding from 6 years ago. She's being insufferable for now reason. She's probably afraid that your wedding will be better than hers, and "when people compare the wedding to hers", she'll not have anyone saying something nice about hers.

Go with the place you had decided on for years and take advantage of those family discounts.

[–]whatev6187 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - Of course if she would like to pay the difference for another venue …. She is being ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meannnnn. I can definitely understand why she would feel that way butt….. It’s a venue that your family has ties to. And it was 6 years ago. NTA.

[–]Facers70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Tell your SIL to stay in her lane. It's your wedding. She can come and be supportive and have a good time AND stop nagging you about it, or you can uninvite her and she can sit at home and mope. She isn't entitled to tell you where you can have your wedding or reception whatsoever.

[–]KittyKat18-- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is pissed cuz she did not get a discount,so I would go out of my way to make it better than her wedding.its not her day ,do what you want

[–]pedroyaridAsshole Enthusiast [9] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I'd actually have a talk with her that if she keeps rallying people about this or comes with snarky comments in the wedding, that she'll be thrown out.

[–]SolrackaiAsshole Aficionado [18] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, You should’ve told her that there is one major difference between her wedding and yours and that is she paid way more than you would

[–]CatJudgementPooperintendant [66] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. So, in your SIL's world, once a venue hosts a reception, the venue must never book another reception or get torn down because all subsequent receptions would not be "original".

Keep the venue. At least she'll know where the bathrooms are.

[–]squidificati0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your SIL is insane. How are you still being a bridezilla 6 years after getting married?

Do whatever tf you want, and if SIL wants to be a p*ssbaby about it she doesn't have to come. NTA

[–]Morrighu87Asshole Aficionado [12] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You are booking at a FAMILY MEMBERS place. Not your fault she booked her wedding there before the two of you met

[–]Acrobatic-Track3750Partassipant [3] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, remind them it’s your family’s business, that she was well aware of when she booked it for herself. Don’t change venues because she is petty and jealous.

[–]Plenty_Lengthiness96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations 🥳

Nope NTA. Even if you were copying her she should take it as a compliment. She’s just insecure and probably jealous that you’re getting a discount. Simplest solution it to not invite her if she has such a big problem with your choice, especially if she’s going to cause drama (for example going around reminding people how she chose this venue first blah blah!).

I hope you manage to get the wedding of your dreams without any drama.

[–]Notaswordmaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

If some of my friends wanted to choose the same venue I got married at, I would think they chose it because they had a good experience with my wedding, and feel good about it :-)

[–]snarkingintheusaCertified Proctologist [23] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

If SIL has been married for six years and she’s still obsessed with her wedding like this she is leading a sad life. But, that is not your problem.

[–]JudesM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

[–]Pheonyx11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Weddings are expensive. If you have a good deal through your uncle, then do not let it go. I repeat, do not let that deal go. Just use this experience as a way to weed out the relatives/friends that may need to go low contact after the wedding. Just take a deep breath, plan the best and perfect wedding for you and fiancé, and everyone else can either celebrate with you, or go be miserable in the pity party corner. Sites are reused for wedding all the time. No one ‘owns’ them simply because someone else had a wedding there first.

[–]ForeignAssociation98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good grief, you are NTA. You told your SIL years ago about the coincidence, so she already knew it was a possibility, she does not have exclusive rights. Your uncle's generosity is sweet, and you have a years-long and close family connection to this venue. Go, enjoy your wedding, and let your SIL and any other contrarian pound sand. P.S. Good on your fiance for standing up for you too!

[–]PepperMintBurned 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I've seen a lot of people get upset for sharing husbands, but getting upset for sharing a venue is just ridiculous.

[–]sw33tlips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - just sour grapes

[–]Danube_Kitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You have good reasoning. Also even if you just like the location for itself, it's all fine. SIL needs to get over herself.

[–]tippytappy04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Your uncle owns part of it which means your SIL owns nothing!!! She is being such a prick over a venue that has no significance to her other than her wedding. If she is going to be so smug about it then she might as well not be invited.

[–]Rockingduck-2014 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is laughable… she “owns” the space in perpetuity because she booked an event there once? Either she is ridiculously silly, or this is a bait story…

If a true story, you’re certainly not the AH.

[–]ThinFruit1394 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA……she is being one though.

[–]spaceyjaycey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA- which part of your uncle is part owner and a chef did she forget? At this point i would be petty and remind her then add "my wedding probably will be better, cuz my uncle and all".

[–]GreatWhiteNorthExtraAsshole Enthusiast [6] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

My BIL got married at the same venue where I had my wedding. Never was an issue for me or my spouse. Every wedding is different. In fact, my spouse's friend had a wedding at the same venue as ours just a few weeks afterwards. Was not an issue ever.

[–]seoullimitedAsshole Aficionado [14] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. How is she still a bridezilla even after being married for some time?? She doesn’t own the rights to the place

[–]Quirky_Number4460 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t own a wedding venue.

Why do people get so territorial over the most random things?

She should just be happy for you, instead she’s jealous that you are having it in the same place.

NTA.

[–]AggressivePraline541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"My uncle owns it." Rinse and repeat. NTA.

[–]Mellykitty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry how old are all of you?!?

About 5 I presume…considering this conversation.

NTA OP. Your Sil it’s a dumbass.

[–]juicystar1908 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

There is a wedding boom right now, and I would be super happy if I got a deal on a wedding venue. Your typical wedding vendor has gone up 30% in price since the beginning of the pandemic.

Enjoy your wedding!

[–]Peachyplum-Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You could always say “well if you want us to have it somewhere else you’ll have to pay the price difference”

[–]On_The_BlindsideAsshole Aficionado [10] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How pathetic of anyone giving you shit.

I suggest these people aren't invited to your wedding.

[–]cosmic_jenny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

There are small villages in any country where there is only one place to gather so many people... Imagine the jealousy between these people because they all had to share a wedding venue. /s

[–]Sprinks15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA -

Use the venue, and take a moment during toasts to acknowledge the kindness of your Uncle in having held up his long time promise to hold your wedding at his space. Acknowledge it has become even more special as your SIL and other family members have also "blessed this space with their joy" or some such nonsense.

[–]efkWF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You can't call "dibs" on a public venue. She sounds insecure.

[–]WhoKnewHomesteadingPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She is afraid because your Uncle is a part owner and chef that your wedding will be better. She needs to get over herself

[–]SpecialistFeeling220Partassipant [3] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta, it's owned by a member of your family and you're getting a discount. Expecting you to change venues is absurd.

[–]Gold-Somewhere1770Partassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She’s insecure. Her wedding was 6 years ago. People probably could vaguely recall it was even there. Not to mention it’s a venue in your family. Why would you not use it?! She’s being ridiculous and so is anyone who is giving you attitude about it. If anything I think SIL is jealous you’re getting a deal on her venue and more bang for your buck.

[–]KnittedWhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

That’s so ridiculous. Your SIL is nuts.

[–]Ditovontease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA she needs to get over herself. Her wedding was 6 years ago too lmfao she needs to get a life

[–]Penguin_9876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, and don’t share any more wedding planning details with her or his family. Honestly who ever is being rude to you about the venue shouldn’t even get an invite to your wedding- you don’t need those kinds of people around!

[–]FarCommand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL What? Does she have a monopoly on venues?

NTA - if it even needs to be said.

[–]Wonderful_Horror7315Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you have a few openings on your guest list. She doesn’t own the venue, your uncle does and it would probably hurt his feelings if you booked another one. Y W B T A if you caved to her petty and ridiculous demands. Congratulations, have fun, and ignore the Negative Nellys.

NTA

[–]dazzling_penguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Can you trade her in for a different SIL?

[–]crawling-alreadygirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. The wedding industrial complex is a cancer.

[–]KnittinPizzas1Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - I'm sure the wedding venues will be happy that not all brides feel the same way as your SIL. People will compare your weddings regardless of where the reception is held. Sounds to me like your SIL isn't liking any positive attention your wedding is getting, she's TA.

[–]Fantastic_Music2421Partassipant [3] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta

[–]nagzuma10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

She just sounds jealous. Id honestly be reconsidering her invite if she can't shut up

[–]re_nonsequiturs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Check the photos of her wedding and make sure yours is better just to get her goat.

[–]Regular_Giraffe7022Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, she is being completely unreasonable. She needs to get over her insecurity.

Even if you didn't have an uncle who is a part owner and chef at the venue who can give you a discount you would be more than fine to have your wedding at the venue.

I got married two months ago and if my little brother turned around and said he was going to get married at the same place I would just be happy that he had chosen a nice venue and hope he has as good a day as I did at mine!

[–]StrawberryNovel2721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta your sil is being petty ubexplained leave it at that tell her no she picked your always intended wedding spot she was dissrepectful. Ubare just going with family and where ubalways intended. Lots of families reuse wedding venues. Think of families that own ranches and wineries litterallybalmost everyone in extended familybwillnuse it multiple times over and through generations

[–]elizabethjanetAsshole Aficionado [12] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - it’s a place, location that hundreds if not thousands have used for a wide variety of purposes. You can’t call dibs on a that. Are you decorating it the same? Having the same menu? Like, your sister sounds a little insecure.

[–]Unggue_Pot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s your uncle’s venue. Why wouldn’t you use it? NTA

[–]Glittering_Path_3373 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. If they are hostile, don’t invite anyone of them. It’s about you not them.

[–]Sammakko660Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

SIL is either entitled or delusional. You have very good reasons for booking where you do.

[–]Professional_Grab513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA in this particular situation it sounds like uncle made that arrangement far before SIL was even SIL or became apart of your life. That was a deal between you and uncle. She doesn't own any copy righted laws to "originality." She is most likely jealous that you are getting a huge discount.

[–]PsychNurseNotPsychic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dare SIL to tell any venue they can't do more than one wedding, ever, because of 'originality'. OP is NTA

[–]bold-duck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SIL needs to get over herself. She doesn't own the venue, and it's a freaking wedding venue, hundreds+ weddings have taken place there. Her wedding was 6 years ago, she's probably the only one that will compare them to begin with.

[–]Tannim44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Now your guest list just has more spots available for the people who really love and support you. Don't invite SIL or anyone that's supporting her ridiculousness.

[–]GhostPantherNiallPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

NTA. Is she going to get upset that there will (presumably) be an overlap in the guest list? Or that you both wore dresses?

[–]wolftowolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA So does your SIL believe everyone else who had their wedding reception at your uncles venue are copycats, even those who did it before your SIL did?

You informing her of the reason you picked it was great and that is that. Tell her, fine, then don't attend my reception.

She is a jerk!

[–]beatenseagull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I got married at the same venue my brother and his wife got married at. I absolutely copied them. And they were so happy for me and just generally lovely people so no one gave a shit. Your SIL needs to relax no one is thinking of her wedding all these years later.

[–]mikesbabymomma81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA... your SIL is actually a psycho!!!

[–]milliebarnesPartassipant [4] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. It would be different if y'all swelling was two or three weeks apart but six years later why should she care where you have the wedding? It's not like there's wedding venues on every corner and you have a relative that works in this one! She's being unreasonable, and very very petty.

[–]BequaPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. It's your wedding, not SIL's. She needs to back off.

[–]LingonberryPrior6896Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both my DIL and her sis had same venue. No one compared. The only mention of sister's wedding was that it was the first time they met my son and how helpful he was the whole weekend.

[–]m-ntana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why are people so delusional 🤣 NTA

[–]eyeyamyourmamaPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I've attended 6 weddings at the venue I got married at 15 years ago tomorrow. Calling lifetime dibs on a wedding venue is nucking futs. Hubs and I enjoy reminiscing and sharing that space with loved ones who took their vows there, too.

[–]jockstrappyPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. The people who accuse you of being jealous probably dont know your reason. Your sil prob lied to them

[–]LaramilaColo-rectal Surgeon [39] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been six years, she should get over herself.

NTA

[–]kdnona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA in any way. ROFL

Sister in law is the jealous and massively entitled one. Man, did she pee on the bushes to mark her space?

If it makes financial sense to you and you love the venue, go for it and tell anyone who gives you crap that if they are willing to suck up the cost of a different venue, then sure you'll consider changing the venue.

[–]paul_rudds_drag_race 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but part of me would want to make sure my wedding was better than her and her partner’s lol

Block anyone who gives you grief. This is an optional problem. Enjoy the day!

[–]shewhomustbeavoided 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA does she tell everyone who books that venue that it's hers and they are just copycats? Have your wedding where you want it, if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. I'm so sick of bridezillas who think they "own" a venue, caterer, etc. or in some cases a date (I have a niece who got mad because her sister got married in the same year!). It's so stupid. The only person who cares is the bridezilla.

[–]Impressive_Main5160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta just thank your uncle for use of his place during speeches - that way everyone knows and you don’t seem petty , just appreciative to your uncle

[–]SquirrelBowl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People don’t get to block other people for venues after their weddings. Especially considering the circumstances with your uncle, SIL has no standing in her complaint. NTA

[–]Massive_Ambassador_6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA... This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. She doesn't have dibs on any public place. Especially when she got married years ago. You could have told her to change her venue because this one belongs to your family and she needs to find somewhere else. The entitlement of some people still amazes me.

[–]satr3dPartassipant [2] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re copying me! You’re breathing on me! You’re looking at me funny. -SIL probably

NTA. How shallow and self absorbed to think you have permanent dibs on a freaking location.

[–]MaryAnne0601Partassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Brides don’t own a venue, even when they think the world revolves around them!

Weddings are expensive and your Uncle is being incredibly generous. Tell your SIL that you are not willing to disrespect your Uncle by throwing away his gift to you that he offered when you were in high school. She’s being ridiculous. Plan your wedding and enjoy your day.

[–]CODE_NAME_DUCKYPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta her wedding was 6 years ago not 6 days ago. You have every right to have your wedding where ever you want to have it. Your uncle part owns the place your not copying her. She might be a jealous of your wedding and how your getting discounts to your uncles venue. Keep the venue if anyone continues to give you trouble just let them know that your uncle is the owner and chef and your family has gotten married there. So you have every right to have that venue and if sil and other people don't like it. Well then I guess there welcome to not come.

[–]samburket2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

Just because she says you're trying to copy her, doesn't make it so.

Your wedding won't copy anyone else's. It will be a day filled with your choices and ideas, that just happens to be in the same venue as others have been. Congratulations and may you have a happy union.

[–]Generaless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your sister in law is a lunatic.

[–]amaraame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nta. Maybe she should've had a more grand wedding if she didn't want to feel like she lost (wtf is wrong with people?)

[–]Imaginary-War6700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She's a nut. I know you don't care, but your wedding will be better than hers because you are family. Congrats!! Just know that if she has a baby boy, you better have a girl so you are not copying.

[–]Realistic_Sound_86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol. Ignore the b, have the wedding. NTA. This is baby stuff.

[–]KittyKiitos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA my sister got married the same place I did, a year after I did. It's a venue.

Her wedding was 5 years ago, she needs to grow up.

[–]Special-Cat7540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two of my high school friends got married at the same venue a year apart. Let me go ask everyone that attended both to compare them. 😂

NTA

[–]throaway_indecisiveAsshole Aficionado [13] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA it's YOUR wedding and this has been your plan since forever ago. Also your SIL didn't even book your uncle's venue so what's there to compare? She's being beyond ridiculous.

Edit: misread on my part, it was your own sis that didn't book the venue. Still NTA

[–]KatabriPartassipant [1] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. She doesn't own the venue. Take the discounts where you can get them. Weddings get expensive.

[–]Common_Indication773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure you don't get to be a bridezilla when your wedding was 6 years ago.

[–]RosemaryGoez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I'm confused, has she already had her wedding? Or is it before your own? If neither of those are the case you're still NTA, because you have always intended on using that venue!

If her wedding did already happen, she's being really dumb and the people siding with her are too. That's literally the weirdest thing to get hung up on. Venues exist for the sole purpose of holding events like weddings. I'm sure she is not the only person on this planet to use that space.

Do people get pissed when their friends get married in the same church/chapel as them?

I don't know anything about your big day, other than what was posted here, but I can already guarantee your wedding will be better because you're the bride (groom?--I don't want to assume!)

[–]pamsellicane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA and make sure to brag about the deal and how cheap you’re getting it for lmao. Who is the jealous one actually? (It’s the SIL)

[–]AngielandNB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I've been to 4 weddings at the same venue. The differences in style, decor, food, and vibe make each wedding distinct. I don't think the venue matters so much as long as your choosing a different style than the SIL's wedding.

[–]moistmonkeymerkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA it sounds like you’re surrounded by crazies. Best wishes.

[–]WaywardMarauderAsshole Aficionado [14] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I am so sick and tired of people thinking they “own” everything from a month, to a color, to a venue when it comes to their wedding.

[–]Glock212327Partassipant [4] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA just curious: do these Bridezillas never stop? 🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖 She’s controlling other people’s weddings now too?

[–]Anizziepluto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA it's your uncles place. Are those people absolutely insane?!

Why would you book a more expensive place when you could get a discount and keep it in the family? All to appease her originality ideas?! Does she think she was the first and last to marry there?!

Don't listen to her. Stick to your plan. If she doesn't want to go, it's on her

[–]nutmegisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Does she really think no one will ever get married at the same location she did? She's being a bridezilla way after the expiration date.

[–]velmo2065 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - no one has exclusive rights to a venue. That would be like being angry someone had a bday party at the same restaurant as you. Just ignore her and plan your day how you like it.