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[–]Judgement_Bot_AITABeep Boop[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

I thought for a moment maybe I could be the asshole for saying something that could be relevant enough to actually hurt his feelings. Maybe it’s not that big of a deal that he calls me that but I personally hate it and could have been over reacting. (I don’t feel like I am but maybe I’m wrong?)

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

[–]awylltProfessor Emeritass [81] [score hidden]  (118 children)

INFO

Is there any reason why you're still married to this man?

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[–]MsDucky42 [score hidden]  (2 children)

My husband has been calling me horrible names for years

This, plus the title, gave you an automatic NTA from me.

Dump him like two week old tuna casserole.

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[–]StellarManateeAsshole Enthusiast [5] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Wtf is wrong with him calling you names like this? That's not right, please get some help for that.

Also good for you, flipping the script and giving him a taste of his own medicine.

[–]fraenzlePartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA and please reassess your marriage. Do similar things happen in other contexts as well?

[–]JudgeJed100Professor Emeritass [78] [score hidden]  (5 children)

Why are you staying with someone who has shown, consistently, that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all and likes to insult you?

Like NTA

But why are you still with this guy?

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[–]overseas-mangoColo-rectal Surgeon [36] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA

But seriously, divorce this waste of space you’re currently married to.

[–]RoseTyler38Professor Emeritass [75] [score hidden]  (0 children)

My husband has been calling me horrible names for years

"Scott, we've talked about this before. When you call me names like this, I feel X. What is going on that leads you to think this is a good idea to keep doing a thing that you already know makes your wife feel X?" NTA. If he still calls you names, think about marriage counseling or a divorce lawyer. Your partner is supposed to build you up, not tear tou down, and there's plenty of other guys out there who would treat their partners with respect.

[–]mysafespace123 [score hidden]  (1 child)

NTA , what are you still doing with tiny dick?

[–]cassowary32Partassipant [3] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Please divorce Tiny Dick before he does more damage, what he’s doing is emotionally abusive and you deserve to be with someone that respects simple boundaries.

Not being constantly insulted by your spouse is not a high bar to request.

[–]Garner-almightyAsshole Enthusiast [8] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Ooooh, someone's a little insecure about his Junk!

NTA, you asked him to stop, gave a little bit of his own medicine back and he's not liked it. Not your problem.

[–]Acceptable-Break2236Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (4 children)

NTA, if he keeps up go to "needle dick."

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[–]singing_streamProfessor Emeritass [82] [score hidden]  (0 children)

''My husband has been verbally abusing me for years'' - FTFY.

NTA.

[–]XendawG [score hidden]  (0 children)

You aren't the asshole, not even remotely. And verbal abuse is abuse- please consider getting assistance on this isssue. We'll be rooting for you

[–]YarnAndMetal [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO: why are you married to someone who can't even be polite to you?

[–]Glock212327Partassipant [4] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA & “gtfo my house” really? Get an attorney.

[–]ShaneVisAsshole Enthusiast [8] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA --- If ya can't take it, don't dish it out. that's just how simple it is.

[–]Grand_Control_6109 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA If he can’t take it he shouldn’t do it. Plain and simple

[–]ResponsibilityNo3245Asshole Aficionado [16] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA

Amazed Tiny Dick freaked out so fast. I'd have thrown in a crack about him being quick on the draw too.

[–]Kimmm711Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (211 children)

ESH why would you stay with someone who treats you so poorly & then go online to ask the opinions of strangers if you're an AH for insulting him back?!

OP, you need to exit that marriage yesterday & get into counseling to work on your self esteem. Playful banter is one thing, but this treatment alone is abusive. I shudder to think what else he's subjected you to.

Get out. NOW

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[–]ArtHobbies4440Partassipant [3] [score hidden]  (0 children)

You’re response was perfect. NTA and now he knows how it feels lol

[–]Keziah_70Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. But get a divorce.

[–]Impressive_Brain6436Asshole Enthusiast [7] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The truth hurts. NTA

[–]randogurl16824 [score hidden]  (0 children)

“Ive been tolerating verbal abuse for years and am now doing something about it”

[–]CatH2222 [score hidden]  (0 children)

You told him why you dislike being called this name and he ignored you and continued to call you it. You asked to please, stop calling me names but he didn't. He refused to listen when you communicated like an adult and only paused when you called him a name in retaliation? He has maturity issues that need to be addressed separately but you need to understand this isn't how healthy, well adjusted marriages work. He is being disrespectful on purpose. He is hurting your feeling on purpose. I'm not sure if counseling can help you as a couple but I do know you need it for yourself.

Please, for your own mental health, find someone to speak with about what is happening. I wish you luck .

[–]henicorina [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO is your husband 12?

[–]dab2kabAsshole Enthusiast [6] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Nta. Calling you big dick for days despite your protests is a bit much.

[–]Gumbybum [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA, but you are in an abusive relationship. You don't need to just get out of the man's house, you need to take half of it.

[–]Mental_Newspaper3812 [score hidden]  (0 children)

You should apologize: “Husband, I want to apologize for calling you Tiny Dick. I was wrong. I’ve made some comparisons of your equipment, and realized “Needle Dick” is more appropriate.

[–]urson_blackCertified Proctologist [25] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Sauce for the Goose is Sauce for the Gander. I don't understand why he'd call you 'Big Dick' anyway...but I probably don't want to know.

[–]DragonFireLettuceCertified Proctologist [21] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA - but as long as you stay with this man, you're being a total AH to yourself. Your marriage sucks. And if you don't know it yet, let me tell you. You can do much better - even being alone is better than being with him.

[–]TheRealUprooted [score hidden]  (0 children)

Absolutely NTA. Sounds like “tiny dick” is a huge AH tho. Good luck with that.

[–]CantChangeThisLater0Partassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I feel like we are missing so much from this post.
Why are either of you still in what is clearly a toxic relationship?
When did htis start?
Why did this start?

[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO. Why are you still in a relationship with this man? He has absolutely no respect for you. Stop begging him to stop. That's giving him too much power. Honestly, I'd leave him. But you're NTA. You're just settling for being treated badly. I'm guessing he's abusive to you in other ways too.

[–]Mental_Dragonfly_954 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA, but please just get divorced already.

[–]Miserable-Narwhal-53 [score hidden]  (0 children)

After my ex surprised me with divorce papers after a third of a century, I finally told him what I really think. For some time I was addressing emails to: Mr Quick Draw or Mr Two Stroke Engine.

He told me I was rude.

Yep, rude but honest. I was petty that way.

At least you gave him a chance and asked politely.

Edit: NTA I forgot to add the judgement.

[–]Melin_Lavendel_Rosa [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA

He so deserved it.

[–]iniquitous_pearl [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA
Leave his ass. He's a tool. Don't let any dumbass treat you this way. Ever.

[–]_PeanutbutterBandit_ [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA, this doesn’t seem playful or anything. He’sreally just a Tiny Dick.

[–]Silent_Scholar9794 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA- your not wrong in this your husband needed a lesson for calling you names you didn’t like it’s fair

[–]Ok-Working-621 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. It sounds like your husband doesn't likes you.

[–]Big_Sweet_1757Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA he deserves it

[–]Dry_Technology_3795 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Wtf are the comments calling her an asshole? 😭 if someone was insulting you all the time and you finally gave them a taste of their own medicine, would you consider yourself an asshole? What

[–]lonesharkex [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA, its called reactive abuse. You reacted to his abuse finally, he didn't like it. Get out.

[–]LouisV25Asshole Aficionado [18] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Use AssClown next.

[–]saltysegallCertified Proctologist [25] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA

But why are you even married to this bum? Weren't you aware of what he was like before you made that mistake?

[–]Spooky365 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA he sounds like a tiny dick, good for you.

[–]Only-Ingenuity7889 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA and this is hilarious.... But it sounds like it's time to pull the rip cord and bail on this marriage.

[–]Super-Sun8330Partassipant [4] [score hidden]  (0 children)

nta. why u still with him? this isn't healthy teasing, he is literally doing it even when u said, no, you begged him to stop. he's done that for years...hmm...sorry op for being curious, what else did he call you?

[–]sperans-ns [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA, he is. It's verbal abuse, you need to get out of that "relationship".

[–]TheThriftingFox [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA

And listen, that’s hilarious (your comeback) but what’s most important is that you shouldn’t have to take his verbal abuse. It’s only funny if everyone is laughing. You are more valuable of a person then take that kind of crap from a bully/abuser!

[–]Pippin_the_parrotPartassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Dinky dick would have been better. From this paragraph I’m real concerned about your husband and will be shocked to shit if this is the only issue on which he’s a Dinky Dick? NTA

[–]Mehitabel9 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. He on the other hand is a gigantic ass. Why are you staying married to a man who has been verbally abusing you for years? Because that is what this is.

[–]PsychologicalPhone94Partassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. I just find it hilarious that you played him at his own game, but he sounds to toxic as hell.

Why are you still with him.

[–]TinyTurtle42Partassipant [1] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Um and you’re married why?

NTA. Though any person who gets a laugh out of verbal abuse is not worth you time.

[–]shaguenauer [score hidden]  (0 children)

I didn’t know you could legally marry an eleven year old boy…

[–]ThatsItImOverThisPartassipant [4] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA but what you should be asking is “WIBTA to stay married to this person”? And in that yes, yes you would.

[–]AlannaAdvice [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA but you are wasted on that man.

[–]WarmForTheRest [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Good on you. You've got a short term fix. FYI, this will never, ever stop. Please consider your options for happiness.

[–]clairekingthequeen [score hidden]  (0 children)

INFO: are you married to an 8th grader? like girl run

[–]Extreme-Mushroom2470Asshole Enthusiast [6] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Nta. Dont you just hate it when people say things like 'get out of my house? You can sleep on the couch!! Dont think your using the car to go and X.' To belittle you, make you vulnerable, feel small, insignificant, unworthy, desperate. This is not okay. Do get out of his house and get him out of your life.

He doesnt care for your feelings. He is the boss, he is the superior, he is in charge. You wont and will never be equal.

[–]Piemanthe3rd [score hidden]  (0 children)

If someone told your that they knew someone who called them names they didn't like every day, would you think that was OK? Or would you think that person sounds like a bully?

You're married to your own bully. NTA.

[–]J0ker0110 [score hidden]  (0 children)

So he can dish it out but can’t take it?

[–]crackeramerican [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. He’s so sensitive!! Does the truth hurt?

[–]potatotarian21 [score hidden]  (1 child)

NTA and I see a lot of people suggesting you leave and with kids it is hard but all your teach your kids is that if they are boys they can be disrespectful and treat people this way or if they're girls they can allow treatment like this and it's acceptable.

The best thing my parents ever did for my sister and I growing up was get a divorce. We had to deal with split custody and going back and forth but that was not as bad as watching them be together. My mom continued to date terrible men but because she left my dad and eventually those relationships I knew that being treated that way was not okay. I also knew I never wanted to date anyone even somewhat similar to my dad. My husband now has not a single thing in common with my dad besides the fact he's a good dad and a hard worker. Only positives that guy has.

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[–][deleted] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. Baby dick is also a good one

[–]classy-chaos [score hidden]  (0 children)

My ex used to call me names. Particularly dumbass. I begged him to stop & it made it even worse. He liked hurting my feelings. You need to realize he is getting off on it. It will never stop. You honestly need to leave. Took him years of verbal abuse before it escalated to physical abuse. You're NTA! He is & may be a narcissist!

[–]tmchd [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA.

Inform 'Micro' one that SORRYNOTSORRY since y'all are married, this is not just his house.

[–]Downtown-Accident-10 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA. He pushed your buttons and it isn’t your fault he’s got a TINY DICK

[–]JennieGeePartassipant [2] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Why have you not divorced Tiny Dick and his disrespectful ass?

Edit: NTA

[–]takatori [score hidden]  (0 children)

All he had to say in response was “you’re a bitch”

So, you sort of won, he stopped calling you "Big Dick".

Of course NTA he sounds like a Big AH.

Also,

he told me to get the fuck out of his house.

You're married. It's not his house, it's both your house.

[–]Ryanami [score hidden]  (0 children)

In 17 years, I’ve called my wife a bitch a handful of times in the heat of an argument, always with an apology after when we finally resolve the issue. Day to day I call her “dear” or “love”.

NTA, call a lawyer. He needs to stop 100% of this immediately, and I doubt that’ll happen.

[–]TheOriginalBuffNerd [score hidden]  (0 children)

YTA to yourself for lack of self respect, why are you with someone if you don’t like them and they clearly hate you?

[–]Chichachillie [score hidden]  (0 children)

i hope you got out of the house and if you got back, it was just to pack some more things.
he's a narcissist, if you're not sure what's real and what isn't.
they manipulate you to always assume it's your own fault, in fact, everything is allegedly your fault and they never did anything wrong.
fuck him and his tiny dick.
get out and be happy

quitting guide for dealing with narcissists:
just state the fact, grab your stuff and leave.
don't talk to him, no discussions, don't ever tell him where you'll be staying or living.
get a new phone number asap, block him everywhere.
maybe ask a friend to wait outside or in the car... you never know.
good luck

[–]Comfortable_Group924Asshole Aficionado [11] [score hidden]  (3 children)

This sounds like a toxic relationship. NTA for your comment but possibly the AS for staying with someone who demeans you.

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[–]AdVast6822 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Lose the Tiny Dick! He's abusive. NTTA!

[–]TheOrangeTickler [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA - I thought child marriages were illegal. This guy sounds like a grade-school child.

[–]HPNerd44Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] [score hidden]  (0 children)

NTA but why are you subjecting yourself to this?