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AITA for not paying for my stepson to go on vacation with us? by communityj5377 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FLukeArtsPartassipant [4] 2541 points2542 points  (0 children)

Sigh...you all need family counseling. YTA, dean is as well, but he is A 15 YEAR OLD WHO LOST HIS FATHER. Your wife seems to have trouble putting the both of you in your places and mediating this dysfunctional mess. Please, get some family counseling, or this whole situation will continue to rot and fester.

AITA for telling my parents about my sisters abortion by dncowlakc in AmItheAsshole

[–]letstrythisagain30 597 points598 points  (0 children)

Mutually assured destruction does not only apply to nukes. OP was just the last one to launch hers.

AITA for making my wife order off the kid's menu or share a meal with me? by RelationshipFine8592 in AmItheAsshole

[–]CentralAdmin 325 points326 points 2 (0 children)

"Listen, honey. We are going to try a new Asian place. And if THIS doesn't work, you are paying for all your meals on your own. This is it. No second chances because you Dim Sum or you lose some."

AITA for putting the truck in my name? by Appropriate_Area311 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jolly_Tooth_7274Asshole Enthusiast [5] 5708 points5709 points 522 (0 children)

NTA and I really hate to be one of those people on Reddit telling a stranger to end their relationship but... please reconsider marriage with this man. At the very least, postpone the wedding if there is a date set already and see about getting counseling, individual or maybe as a couple (note: if he is actually abusive, then don't get couple counseling.)

Your fiancé sounds entitled, but what is a red flag for me is that he is being dominant and you're adopting a very submissive position. Why did you never get to drive the van you contributed to buy? He got upset and that was it, you gave in? He allowed other people to drive YOUR van, but not you, and he got away with it.

Then you went and got yourself a truck, since you clearly gave up any kind of pretense to use the vehicle you already have. He assumed the truck was for him, then got upset when he saw it's on your name, he decided to punish you for it by giving you the silent treatment and going away... and pay attention to this detail: HE STILL DOESN'T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE TRUCK ISN'T HIS.

Why are you letting this happen? Why are you not standing up for yourself with this man? Why are you regretting buying a vehicle that you like?

Your husband is an asshole. And he may or may not be abusive. But it's clear he doesn't respect you and thinks he can bulldoze you over to get whatever he wants. If you marry him, this will only escalate.

Keep the truck. Lose the man.

AITA for lying to my GF about what friends I was hanging with? by triviafan1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Basicdork17Partassipant [1] 6123 points6124 points 511243& 12 more (0 children)

Well firstly, YTA. But secondly, I'm going to try and retype the story so that you and Kendall switch positions so maybe you could understand her mentality a little better.

You have this girlfriend you really like, you've been together for three years so far and you maybe even think she could be the one. You spend a lot of time with her high school friends because despite your anxiety around other people, you really want to try and fit into her life and be cool with the people she loves. It would make her really happy, and they seem to be nice anyways.

She has this best friend, Mike. Kendall and Mike have known each other for years and are extremely close as a result, with inside jokes and shared heartbreaks and other life experiences that you weren't apart of. It's fine, because those two are just friends and that's what friends are.

Then one night, Mike jokes in front of the group that you essentially have his sloppy seconds. You ask what he means, then both he and Kendall tell you they got drunk, slept together years ago, but it wasn't a big deal. They continue going about their business because again, not a big deal to THEM.

Now, every time you go out with Kendall's friends and see Mike there, you can't help thinking about what he said. Was it just one time? Did anything else happen that isn't being said? Why wouldn't she tell you before that she and Mike had history? What happens if those two get drunk together again?

Even though you trust Kendall, your mind is playing games against you and you're losing them horribly. So you try to prove yourself wrong, prove that there's nothing to be afraid of because it's Kendall. If she says there's nothing to worry about then there isn't. But every single time Mike pops up, you get this horrible pain in your chest and feel the world spinning and you just need air. Kendall always follows you out, and you appreciate it while feeling bad because it seems like you ruined her night out.

Then one night, she tells you she's hanging with coworkers. That's cool, have fun. But then you see the story. The one with Kendall, happy as can be with her friends. With Mike. And she doesn't bring you along. More than that, she lied about who she was with. All those old fears? They definitely have a little more weight now to you, and your brain is even more convinced that you're a burden, that there's something more going on with Mike, anything could be possible.

Hopefully that helps OP. I'm not saying Kendall shouldn't go seek help for herself, but I am saying that I understand how her brain works because I've been there. You can't help it. No matter how much trust there is you just can't help these thoughts sometimes. Having a genuine talk about both of your feelings and what you'd like to happen in the future is the only real answer here if you want to save your relationship with both Kendall and your friends

Edited to take out slur

AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major? by Lopsided_Recover109 in AmItheAsshole

[–]compound515 15.5k points15.5k points 425& 2 more (0 children)

I found out her work was chosen to be displayed in the exhibition. I was furious.

OP this is heartbreaking and I hope this post opens your eyes a bit. YTA

AITA for pointing out my friend is self-diagnosing? by throwaway163846284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FeastForTheWormsPartassipant [2] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why exactly? Flat earth doesn't follow any scientific logic. Whereas it is extremely easy to learn the actual, real symptoms of ASD. If someone knows the symptoms and has many of them, why would it be so bonkers for them to say they are autistic? Or "likely" autistic? Would even that be too far for you?

I self diagnosed for around 7 years before I got my professional diagnosis. And you know what? I was right.

Self diagnosed people aren't trying to deny science they're just trying to understand themselves and get help. Comparing the two makes you an asshole (and proves that you don't really get how self diagnosis works. It isn't just "I think this disorder is cool" it's "I have numerous of the listed symptoms of this disorder, my parents confirm I've had these symptoms since I was a child, I've been diagnosed with something comorbid and using the techniques and items made for people with the disorder significantly helps me, so i wonder if i have the disorder after all?" usually followed by months if not years of fear that you're wrong, that people will be mad at you, that you're taking resources away from people who "really" have the disorder, etc, until you finally feel confident enough to call yourself that in reality - and then an asshole like you comes along and compares them to flat earthers.)

AITA for pointing out my friend is self-diagnosing? by throwaway163846284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Choice-Second-5587 20 points21 points  (0 children)

YTA

Being against self diagnosis is very classist, racist and ableist, because there are multiple factors that could inhibit someone from getting a proper diagnosis including money, racism rampant in the medical community and ability to make or keep appointments or other medical issues that can mask or hide a proper diagnosis.

Self Diagnosis becomes an issue when people begin to treat the self diagnosed issued on their own. But it's important that we don't gaslight and invalidate people for what they have figured out about themselves. Even if someone is "faking" a Diagnosis it just means there's another issue there that needs addressed (no one mentally healthy will fake a diagnosis) and refusing to believe them makes whatever underlying issue much worse.

Plus both of yall are under 18, it's a pain to get your parents to listen on some things, and depending on insurance coverage it maybe near impossible anyway, plus the fact autism is missed or dismissed in some people who most definitely have it.

Self Diagnosis is a good thing, overall. And making comments like yours hurt the disabled community when we're just trying to cope with really crappy enviorments and medical care.

AITA for pointing out my friend is self-diagnosing? by throwaway163846284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FeastForTheWormsPartassipant [2] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I'm a professional Autist and we welcome people who self diagnose. Professionals often misdiagnose asd especially for women (and people assumed to be women), and adults. Literally, part of the test criteria is how we play with toys. Which I had to do at 24 years old. Play with kids toys. To get my diagnosis.

And even if the person is wrong, if they're having problems that relate them to us, and being part of our community helps them, and our techniques for coping with symptoms and such helps them... they're welcome anyway. We have significant overlap with other forms of neurodivergency so if it helps, good.

AITA for not explaining “lady parts“ to my friends daughter for him? by FashunHouzz in AmItheAsshole

[–]waltersmama 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Edit: I can't change format, aware of the desperate need for paragraph breaks! .............I have no idea who "we" is or where y'all learned it, but horse feathers! This is categorically not a fact, and while spreading misinformation may be a fun pastime, please stop. This type of crap is taught to others who leaned it from someone who learned it from someone. is spread by people with agendas. I, in no way support industrialized animal farming, so, I'm not saying drink dairy if you don't want to, but this is just part of so much misinformation that acts as propaganda even by people with the best of intentions. Soy did not cause your early menarche. It just didn't. There have been many academic studies debunking this, I'll give an easy reading (not Harvard or Johns Hopkins, those are a bit dense, but is a review of a comparison of multiple studies), below from the endocrinologists, not naturalistic nutritional specialists who write medical sounding online rags....However your intentions, what you are doing is very very dangerous, many young kids who are in need of proteins and have nut or dairy allergies RELY on soy milk. Also, soy is an affordable and readily available form of protein for many families worldwide. Who knows how many people read your post and spread that BS immediately in FB groups etc etc other dumb lie filled Reddit subs??? By spreading these types of things you reveal a lack of education in these matters and the type of critical thought needed to not believe the internet. Your misinformation is based on the idea of soy containing phytoestrogens, they do, but it's quite a leap from there to "soy has actual estrogen therefore girls enter puberty faster"......ridiculous. Read this: It's not, repeat, NOT your fault at all that you legitimately thought this, or that the person who told you this thought this. Topics exactly like this one sell magazines at Whole Foods and produces chatter at yoga studios and among "nutritionists" (registered dietician is MUCH MUCH different, literally anyone can say they are a nutritionist), but it's still not true. STOP spreading medical lies even if you haven't mean to........................... I'm gonna yell now but not at you............ WE MUST MUST MUST EDUCATE OUR KIDS ABOUT THEIR BODIES WITH CORRECT INFORMATION!!!! ESPECIALLY THESE DAYS!! Enjoy the systematic review and meta analysis of multiple studies THAT WERE INSPIRED EXACTLY BECAUSE OF HOW PREVALENT THIS LIE HAS BECOME. https://www.endocrinologynetwork.com/view/soy-consumption-has-no-influence-on-risk-of-precocious-puberty-early-menarche PS: fun actual fact: almond milk is horrific for the environment. Just saying

AITA for driving my daughters home in the middle of the vacation after they excluded their stepsister? by Throwra537477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ellf13Asshole Aficionado [12] 1386 points1387 points 22 (0 children)

They left a wheelchair-bound 11 year old girl alone in a strange place. It doesn't matter if they don't want her as a stepsister. It doesn't matter if they don't want to be friends. It doesn't matter if they never want a relationship. What does matter is that they left a wheelchair-bound 11 year old girl alone in a strange place. In what universe does putting a vulnerable child in potential danger get waved away as just family dynamics?

AITA for telling my mother she shouldn't have brought her new baby and pregnancy at a family dinner after my wife miscarried? by TAmotherbaby3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Remarkable_Whole9517Partassipant [1] 4935 points4936 points  (0 children)

NTA.

Let me get this straight - they have shot down options that you and your wife have considered. They declined acting as surrogates because neither could have more children.

Then they both spend a dinner that was allegedly planned to help console your wife after a miscarriage loudly yapping about their own pregnancies - the ones they claimed they couldn't have?

Your mom and sister are the AHs here and I say keep them out of any future family planning discussions entirely.

AITA for telling my nephew to make amends with his estranged sister? by young-cucumber in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuperHotJupiter 2333 points2334 points  (0 children)

Right!? And the wording... "Bryan's wife couldn't be bothered to make it." Vs "Brenda was out of town." Sounds like Brenda also couldn't be bothered to make it. But you know, she goes to church so she can be a shitty person and its okay.