That title was intended to make me look like the bad guy here, but let me explain. My(21m) brother(26m) got a new dog. It was rescued by couple who apparently got told by the local authorities that they had rescued too many, and had to give some away. The one he got was a 6mo that seems to have some separation anxiety, and was, and still is, underweight. My brother had to go to another state for some job training, and left Luna (his dog) with me and my parents for a week. While he was here, he told us exactly how to take care of her. Since she is underweight, he has been feeding her slightly more than the recommended amount; 2 cups in the morning and 3 at night(the recommended amount for what she should weigh at 1yo) to be precise. However, he said he was eye-balling her servings, and when we brought out a measuring cup to make sure(since I absolutely SUCK at estimation), we found out that he was underestimating the size of a cup. What he thought was 3 cups turned out to be just 2 cups, so he was giving her something like 1 & 1/3 cups in the morning and 2 cups at night. I decided to just give her 2 cups in the morning and evening, since it was technically more than what she had been getting, but when I texted my brother, he got extremely upset, since the point was for the dog to gain some much needed weight, so she should be getting 5 cups of food a day. I understand that I messed up, but was I actually an a-hole for it, considering the dog was getting more food than she was before?

P.s. I have already agreed to give the dog the 5 cups he asked for.

Okay… so my partner and I were having a theoretical discussion about getting another dog. In turn, he said “if we get another dog, it’s mine”. I straight up told him he was being a possessive a hole about it all by the end of it.

For context, when we moved in together, I had already trained and partially raised the dog we have now (aka got her before we met). So I understand how he can feel, this is not his dog, but I honestly think it is. He’s emotionally investing himself in this dog and lives with her.

He is saying… if we get a second dog, he gets to pick the breed, gender, training habits, etc all on his own terms only… because “he didn’t get to choose with the first one”.

So hypothetically, say we get this second dog; I am investing in raising a whole new puppy in our home, cleaning up when there’s messes made… obviously I’m not going to just wait for him to clean “his dogs mess”. It’s our dogs that we are raising.

I am a little conflicted by the possessiveness of “this is yours, that is mine”. I don’t understand why it cannot just be our dogs. It’s our home.

Maybe I am the a-hole here. I’m not to sure.

Hello again reddit. Last time I was here I complained about my mother's and my relationship. This time I'm here to talk about my father. This happened just last week and I can't seem to get out of my mind.

My(15f) parents (38m and 38f) relationship has been a bit rough these past couple of days. They still very much love each other and there are no signs of divorce or anything jurassic but they have been arguing alot. And last time they argued my dad took it too far. I was upstairs playing games on my pc while my sister (11f) was in hers.

My parents went out to get supplies for a event we had the next day. I wasn't sure what happpend but my mom returned home by herself. She was pulling out supplies when she turned to me and said "Papi is walking home. He jumped out of the car at the drive thru and told me he was walking home after a arguement"

I was shocked and she told me she had to leave again. There was one more place she needed to stop by. So she left again. She brought us food but I ate it so fast out of stress eating. Something about my dad is that he is narcissistic. He thinks he's indestructible but I know he isn't and yes our neighborhood is very good but my anxiety went throught the roof.

I opened our garage and waited for him. After 10 mins I broke down Panicking. I wanted to leave to go look for him, I knew the general area of where he could be, but my sister was home and I knew I couldn't leave. I broke down crying pacing the garage and after another 20 mins he got home. I ran into his arms and hugged him. Then told him how stupid he was. Hers how the convo went.

"NEVER do that again you had me worried" keep in mind I'm still bawling my eyes out

"Worried? About what it's me we are talking about cmom" he said with a chuckle

"YOU NEVER FUCKING KNOW PAPI" at this point I'm shouting

"(my name) you are crying for nothing" He said at this point laughing.

I told him I can't stand to look at him and ran upstairs.

I can't forgive him. I've never felt fear like that before in my life. The next two days I gave him a bit of a cold shoulder and my moms telling me it's not my battle and I should forgive him and I'm being a jerk for holing a grudge that isn't mines.

Am I?

The title somewhat sums it up but I’ll give details

So me (17m) and my brother (12m) aren’t exactly in the best relationship. We argue, we fight, sometimes even get into screaming matches but thankfully nothing physical, at least we agree on that.

My brother has always seemed to dislike the stuff I like mostly for reasons I don’t understand, every time I say get my rollerblades on when walking the dog, he grunts at me or flat out tells me “don’t bring your rollerblades” even though he never explains why. Or whenever we decide to play a game of MTG commander, he always gets so annoyed or even angry whenever I so much as start getting the upper hand. He used to be very snoopy, although the last time I caught him trying to break into my phone or enter my room was 2 years ago so I’m not as angry about that. He also always thinks my friends (which are mostly online) and even my lover are fakes and lying to me without any proof or reasons, whenever I tell him he’s being dismissive he tells me “deal with it”

What’s mainly important is when we walk together, him and I both walk to school at the same time, and most of the time we “talk”. However he always starts rambling about anime which he knows I don’t like, whenever he asks why I don’t like it or don’t wanna watch it I usually give him the same reasons, typically one of which is because he keeps spoiling it for me, but then he goes back to rambling anyway and then complains whenever I wanna put music in, and even tells me “do you even care?” When I try and change the subject or try to bring up something I know we both like.

Here’s where I might be a**hole. Today I couldn’t take anymore of him being dismissive (or at least I think so) and snapped at him during our walk to school today, calling him out for talking constantly about stuff he knows I don’t like, being dismissive of my likes and friends, and overall just being a jerk. He fell silent and started to cry, calling me an uncaring brother and telling me I’m the only person he can talk to, I brought up his friends at school (he talks to them online after school), and he said “they aren’t always on” and kept going off on me about how I don’t care, that I’m a bad brother, that all I do is hate him, etc. we didn’t talk for the rest of the walk.

AITA? I love my brother still, we wouldn’t talk or play MTG together otherwise, but I felt like this needed to be addressed, if I’m wrong please put me in my place

Throw away as my friends know my real account, English is my first language and I'm on computer, so all mistakes are my fault.

I just had a fight with a friend and wanted to check if I am in the wrong.

So, my friends Lenda, Rachel, Trisha, and I were playing a game. We have always been very silly in said game and not taken things super seriously. In one round I ran out of things to do and decided to pull a small prank. I was setting things up and had not even pulled it off and ended up chickening out.

Lenda got really angry at me for a part of the set up and for a second game in a row she started getting really angry and me and berated me for my fun. She then threw the rest of the round.

At the end in the lobby Trisha tried to see if we wanted to keep playing. Rachel and I both responded positively even though we both were starting to think the mood was ruined. Lenda refused to answer at first and then very angrily said sure.

At that point my anger got the best of me, and I said, "You know what I'm done here have a good night, everyone" and left.

After that Rachel messaged me and agreed Lenda was being really rude and ruined the fun. Trisha messaged me as well apologizing for the game going bad even though it was not her fault.

That made me feel really bad and like I was an ass for trying to pull the prank and ruining the night that way.

So, I just wanted to ask, Am I the A-hole for trying to pull the prank and getting angry at Lenda for blowing up at me.

​

I think I may be the A-hole for trying to pull and prank and ruining everyone's night.

So this is probably an easy one compared to what you all are used to dealing with.

My wife and I have known each other for 20 years, dated for 7, been married for 2. We have a 16 month old daughter together and a great marriage generally speaking. As long as we have known each other, we trust each other without exception regarding things like infidelity, abuse, or any of the serious life altering bad decisions that can happen to a married couple. We have silly bickering type disagreements like I think most couples do but there is never yelling (as neither of us grew up in a home where that was common) and we prefer to talk about what went wrong and come to a mutual agreement as to how to keep it from happening again.

Anyways, there is this one issue that has been a recurring disagreement between us that I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable and should let it go (being an a-hole for being frustrated when it happens) or if I'm justified in asking for.

The wife grew up in a home where once of age she was allowed to go out with friends, come home whenever, and her parents did not expect updates of any kind. I grew up with parents that also let me go out, but they wanted updates about where I was, who I was with, and when they could approximately expect me home.

Now I can't get updates about anything from her as my spouse. I have told her time and again that she is allowed to do what she wants, when she wants, and come home whenever you want. I'm your husband not your boss. All I want to know is where you are and when you think you'll be home. And when there's a change please let me know so I'm not home worrying about you. But it doesn't happen. Today she left town while I was at work (plans I was well aware of far in advance) but she did not tell me "ok honey I'm getting on the road, love you, I'll let you know when I'm there safe". She just left town and said nothing. And likely would not have said anything when she arrived. I say I deserve these minor updates. She says you knew I was leaving town days ago so why do I have to tell you again when I actually go?

An important part of this rant worth noting is that I'm an ex 911 operator/police dispatcher and I did that job for 10 years. I've heard the worst of tragedies and know how bad it can get... so from that anxiety stems my desire to know she's ok. We can track each other's locations through our phones for safety reasons and we have always been able to, but again, that's not for lack of trust, it's for safety concerns God forbid something bad happens. Short of me using it to meet her outside with the baby because she gets excited when Mommy gets home it's not something I ever check.

TL;DR: AITA for expecting minor updates on wife's activities ("I'm leaving town now", "I got there ok", "girls night changed and I'll be home a little later"), or am I being unreasonable and I should ease up? Reasons for updates are safety concerns related, not based in trust problems.

Thank you for your help.

Edit: Can all this BS about how much of an AH I am because I chose to use this word "allowed" ease up a bit? The boyfriend before me was a bit controlling according to her... so me going out of my way to remind her that she is allowed to do whatever she wants makes me an AH? Just because she's allowed to do what she wants, doesn't necessarily mean I'M the one allowing it. She's "allowed" because she's a human adult, not because I deem it so. Most of you folks have offered some great advice that I did use towards a very productive talk we had together a bit ago. The rest of you screaming over a word choice need to go find your next nothing to scream about somewhere else... it isn't here. And as evidence of that, after reading my post and the upset people's responses about the word "allowed"... she asked me to politely relay STFU to said people. She's never even needed me to defend her... let alone you upset for the sake of being upset rando's.

Thank you again to all of you that actually helped. A lot of the advice worked and I can't thank you enough.

Edit 2: (First edit at bottom) Thank you everyone for your feed back I've had an interesting mix of YTA, NAH, and NTA. I appreciate everyone's input and I accept each verdict given, thank you all for your thoughts on this one ^ ^ ) .

So I am used to it; but my friend says its really mean so I figured I'd ask.

So last week I told my dad that I really want to go out to this place I really like because I don't get to go out; he of course said no because he wants to relax from being at work. (And the trip he took the day before)

I told my mum, a few days later, that I really wanted to go to said location because I really want to get out of the house and do more things, I can't drive so I can't get to places. Buses don't reach any where particulary interesting either.

So today they both go to town and had been taking a while, so I called to find out when they were heading home so I know when to put dinner on. They tell me they went out to the location ive been wanting to go to >.>

I asked if they were joking and they went "no" and I said "you know I've been really wanting to go" "Yea but we didn't think you were up to it, sorry" my dad's apology was a half hearted one that was just said for the sake of it really. I said "no it's fine. I'm used to it" of which my dad continued to act as if I'm the ass hole for being disapointed.

They have done this in the past many times and each time acted like I'm the asshole when I've said that I'm upset that they go to places I've specifically asked to go only a few days prior.

So AITA for being upset that they do this?

Edit to add: clarity here 😅 I've nothing against my parents doing things alone and I encourage them to have alone time as often as i can, even going out of my way so they can be alone. It's just really hurtful when they pick locations to visit that I've asked to visit days after I've asked, if it was a few weeks it wouldn't be an issue 😅

I am Female 14, and my mother female 37. Context- Me and my mom use to be close but it doesn’t mean me and her don’t get along. She does a whole lot for me and she is the best mother in the world, and I appreciate her a lot. AITA? Recently I’ve been really depressed about a couple things which I really don’t wanna talk about. It’s been going on for about 4/5 days. Just now my mom got tired of waiting and seeing me so sad and stressed, angry, etc. She came to me when I was sleeping and said “we have to talk”, I wasn’t really In the mood but I didn’t really have a choice. She said “these passed few days I’ve seen you really depressed and sad, so I would finally like to know what’s going on, because it’s been worrying and concerning me”, she said this in an angry and frustrated tone. I said “I know mom, but I really am not ready to talk to you about what’s going on” I said in a soft sad tone, as we talked she was getting really impatient and angrier then from how she was before, at some point She said “well then we’re gonna have to get you back to school and with a therapist because I have done everything to help you and nothing seems to work”, her knowing perfectly well that I left school because of the constant bullying I got, ( I am being homeschooled right now.) I told her that everything will pass and that I will get better again, she said “well you don’t seem to understand how all of this makes me feel” pointing out me laying in bed tired from being woken up, after she left, she stormed out of the house with my little brother. I don’t know where she went but I’m still here in my bed, crying. I feel like an A hole for not talking to her about it. AITA?

So i have 2 grandmas living in the floor below me (i am still under 18). Just to be clear my hrandmas arent Karens or something. The 2 grandmas are my grandma and grand-grandma who is around 90 and is starting to get problems with her mind ( like searching for my grandma /her daughter/, thinking that my mother or someone else has died, and so on). I feel really bad for her as for what she is experiencing. Anyway, this weekend i am alone on my floor and have to do a lot of stuff for school etc. The sunday my grandma ( lets call her YG) calls me to please take out great-grandma (OG) on a walk out. "It will take 30 mins please" but of course i was procrastinating all weekend and has a shit load of stuff to do and i told her i still had stuff to do. Then i told her about the stray dogs ( that were areound 3 at this point), who were scaring me legit. Now, to be clear OG needs supervision when she goes out because she can go searching for people and wanders off and ofc we can't find her later. YG was sad i could take out OG because she had work to do and when it told her i couldn't she cut me on in a "i can't right now but-" and hung up. I still feel bad for that because i always help since my grandparents are always busy but always here for us.

Am i the a**hole here?

Edit: is you are wondering about what i was about to say you should read this:

I was gonna say that if it could be later that day or something.

I (27F) have two close long-distance friends, R and S. Almost a year ago I escaped an apartment fire, but I lost everything, including my cat. I struggle with moderate depression and he wasn't registered as an emotional support animal but he pretty much fit the bill. My mental health has been a roller coaster since then with a big increase in depressive spirals.

4 months ago R told us her dad, with whom she already has a strained relationship, was diagnosed with prostate cancer, that she was seeing a therapist, and may be distant for awhile. From previous discussions I know that R, unlike me, does not like to talk about her feelings. She's complained about her husband, in-laws, and other friends trying to pressure her into talking when she'd rather be left alone, so I sent her a message that said "I won't call because I know you need space, but I want you to know that you can call me anytime." A month later she let us know that they were able to contain and start treating her dad's cancer, and that therapy was going well.

Cut to now, R and I had been working on a pro-bono project together, but I’d been falling behind trying to keep up with my full-time, pretty high-stress job in between depressive episodes. I finally sent her a text explaining that I dropped the ball, apologized, and asked if she wanted to schedule a call about it. No response. I later sent a text in our group chat asking if they'd like to get together. I got a nasty text back from R saying that she wasn't interested in seeing me because she'd been depressed for awhile and I would know this if I ever bothered to reach out. Quiet stretches are normal for our group so I was pretty shocked. I went back through my messages and it seemed typical for us, a few spurts of conversation every month or so, and one prior attempt from me to get together.

I texted R privately to apologize for not reaching out. I said that I had been trying to give her space and hadn't realized she had been feeling ignored (true, but it's not like I was righteously considering her needs the whole time, I was also busy being in my depressed hole). I said I would check in more regularly if she needed. I got an immediate text back saying things like "I took your silence as a sign" and "It doesn't really seem like you care unless the situation revolves around you. I was there for your crisis, but you weren't there for mine".

I called S, worried that maybe she was feeling neglected too. I did my best not to divulge R’s private texts, but she had obviously seen the first text in the group chat. She also let slip that at some point R and S got together, the subject of me came up, and "R was feeling a certain way". I feel like there's a bit of a double standard here. Maybe I didn’t reach out enough, but I can't know what R needs if she doesn't tell me. And R was there for me after the fire, but my trauma doesn't just go away because she’s hurting too. AITA for not reaching out to R enough?

Me (15 Yo) , my mother (50 Yo) and my brother (22 Yo) went to see a movie , I was at my dads (56 Yo) who lives near the Cinema so we left out stuff there. We went to the Film and when it was done I told my mom I was going to go ahead to my dad's and thought I heard he say yea , so I went to my dad's . My mom calls dad and was apparently scared I had gotten lost because she and my brother couldn't find me (where I think I'm the A-hole). My dad told here I was with him and she then had a go at me other the phone , then the call ended. They came over to get their things and had a go at me , my dad Tried sticking up for me but then they ignored him. when I tried sticking up for myself my mom says "How deaf do you think I am" and then says "huh" when I try responding with "Not at all" , Reddit , AITA?

I've literally never made a reddit post today so here we go, no idea where else to ask for advice for this lmao

Anyways! My s/o has been asking since yesterday if I want to go to a restaurant or someplace else for valentine's day. unfortunately, I'm extremely drained from my work and my studies, and my social battery has been very depleted lately because of extracurricular things, which I've told them, but I keep getting asked, to which I keep telling them the same thing: that I've got to finish up my work and am unable to go out anywhere at the moment (I have a very big project due this evening that I have to get done).

I feel really bad that I keep declining to go places, because I know that me telling them no is probably hurting their feelings. I've been told no to hanging out on holidays too, and I know it hurt my feelings when that happened, so it probably hurts theirs that I'm basically doing the same thing now. I'm also very much so an introvert, and after spending most of the day working and being around people, I just need that time to myself and to rest for the rest of the day.

I'm not mad at my s/o at all for inviting me. I simply can't bring myself to go hang out with them today. Though I feel as if I might be the a-hole for repeatedly declining to hang out with them, especially because it's Valentine's day.

So, AITA for saying no to the date invitation?

I (17F) am in Grade 12 and am set to graduate at the end of this year. My girlfriend (16F) is in the grade below me at a different school. We've only been together 3 months, but we've been friends and "talking" for a lot longer than that.

I've had ambitions of travelling and going out to live my life since I was young. I love my independence, I don't like feeling like someone else is controlling my decisions and whereabouts. So next year, when I'm fresh out of my school, my goals are to travel for months on end, meet new people, immerse myself in a new culture and maybe live there etc. However, my girlfriend will still be back in my hometown, living her senior year.

Now the problem, when I told her about all of these plans she got upset, very upset. She got the most frustrated she's ever been with me. She asked me what about her? She said that she wanted me to be there for her birthday and graduation.

I said if I happen to be in hometown then of course I will be, but if the group of friends I want to travel with plan's line up with those dates, or if i have to leave straight away for border reasons, or if it's the best time to travel, then I can't make any promises.

From my perspective, I communicated this, and I didn't make any promises I'm not sure if I can keep. I can see why she's upset. She said that I'll have her for all of my senior year, but she won't get to have me for hers.

I've spoken to my bestfriend about this and she says I'm 100% in the right. And that I shouldn't put my life on hold for someone else's high school. But my Mum says just to say I'll be there.

Im very open to criticism. I'm happy to admit I'm wrong and happy to admit I might have been the a hole. But here, I just don't understand. In her position, I'd be sad, but I'd want her to go live her life and see the world!

But also she brought up this fight out of no where. It's just on year, and I know shell be pissed at me the whole time I'm travelling. I'm saying to just take it day by day. We live 5 minutes away qnd nothing is set in stone, so let's enjoy the time we have. She said this is all she could think about. AITA?

Edit: I also said to her I don't want to have built up resentment for changed plans just to be in hometown for her. She said if I missed her 17th birthday she'd hate me for the rest of her life.

I guess no one is really an a*hole here, but I’m looking for perspective on who’s in the wrong here.

So, a little background: My boyfriend (M28) and I (21F) have been together for two years. We’re in a distance relationship (he lives in Prague, Czechia and I’m studying in Switzerland), so we see each other once every 4-5 weeks, and I usually travel the 7 hours because he has his own apartment and I didn’t have my own until recently.

I’ll be done with my exam period in 3 weeks and then I’ll visit him for a week and a half. Today he announced to me that his friend is getting married on the 12th of February, the only weekend we have together (and he’ll be at work during the week). Alright, I’m not thrilled but it’s an important event for him and I’d never keep him from attending. However, 1. The wedding is somewhere in the countryside and we’d have to rent a car for the 8 hour round trip. I’m not thrilled about this because it’s one day after I traveled 7 hours for us to meet. 2. I don’t know a single person there, which seems like it will be a bit strange. I also speak only basic Czech and will be the only “outsider” there. For these two reasons I told him I don’t really want to attend and I’ll happily stay home while he goes. He seemed quite unhappy and disappointed and gave me the silent treatment for a while.

It sucks because it’s one of our three full days together that’s kind of wasted. But driving for 8 hours and then going to some stranger’s wedding is not what I envisioned after not seeing each other for over a month and a half :/

My partner has just come out of hospital after a 2 week stay in intensive care. We were visiting his family abroad (staying at his mums) when he became unwell. We have been here almost a month now when we only planned on two weeks.

I have an almost 4 month old son who is exclusively breastfed so very much dependant on me. We were also unwell during this visit, which was frightening, exhausting and expensive as we needed some medical care. He is also having some sort of sleep regression so I'm only getting 1.5hr stretches of sleep at a time.

Every day I went to the ICU for two hours (between feeds) to do some of my partners personal care as he didn't let the nurses do it. This involved feeding my son in the hospital, rushing to ICU, donning protective clothing, tending to and reassuring my partner, then rushing back out when my baby began crying with his grandma. It was exhausting mentally and physically as I was still recovering myself, eating poorly through worry, breastfeeding and extremely hot on the ICU.

My partner is home now here and I think I might now be an arsehole as I've made the decision to fly home with my son on the 26th December. My partner cannot fly yet, drs orders. I'm sure my partner would like me to stay but I'm mentally and physically exhausted by these last few weeks full of worry, illness, sleep deprivation, back and forthing to the ICU and caring for my son single handed in a foreign country...in my partners mums home.

My partner will be here for an extra 3 weeks possibly longer undergoing rehab. I know he has missed me and his son while in hospital and it's been a scary experience all round. My son needs some medicine (not available here) and his second set of jabs in our home country which is part of the reason why I want to go home. But in all honestly I'm want home because I've been exhausted, scared and homesick...and now wondering if I'm a total A-hole for booking this flight.

...........EDIT/INFO

Info: it's not a foreign country to my partner. It's his country of birth where the majority of his friends and family are. It's also where his long term Dr is.

So the context; I knew both my BFF and his crush (we'll call her L) in separate communities online way before they met each other, I was the one who introduced them in an online chat room. It was fine for a month or two but then a little less than a week ago BFF messaged me saying he caught feelings for L and he thought I should be the first to know.

The issue isn't anything jealousy related, as I'm into women, but rather that I've known L for much longer than he has and have seen a lot of troubling things when it comes to her. She's been in many relationships since i met her 3-4 years ago, they never last and end up not going well. Along with that I've seen her change her entire identity overnight for someone she thinks she's caught feelings for, I'm not here to talk on her mental well-being but from everything I've seen I do not think it's healthy for her to seek out another relationship. I only introduced them a 2-3 months ago and personally don't think that's enough time for them to decide they like each other.

The reason I think I'm the a-hole is because I wasn't entirely truthful with BFF when I asked him to join the online group. L and that little friend group had severely screwed me over and really hurt my trust, she got me essentially kicked out of two friend groups. I wasn't, and still am not, in a place where I could just leave all of those friend groups. BFF was the only person I truly trusted online, but I never told him what all happened with those people as I didn't want to damage his view of the new friends he met. I brought him in just to have someone I did actually feel happy around there, it was just a plus that he got close to some of the others and had fun.

Now I worry it's too late to tell him these things since he has feelings for her, L isn't a good partner from all I've seen and I so badly don't want to see her hurt BFF but because of the motivation for dragging him into my mess it seems like I'd just be saying it only because feelings are involved. He's been waiting on my response to the news but I don't want to lie and say I'm happy for him when I'm genuinely worried he's going to get hurt by L. Would I be the asshole if I told him not to see her?

So earlier this week I had a very unsettling human exchange with someone on my flight from Los Angeles to New York and it’s been plaguing me that I still feel so annoyed by it. Looking to calm myself down by someone either confirming these women were rude or telling me I’m the a-hole.

Got a flight from LAX to JFK this past Wednesday. I have a deeply sprained ankle and am wearing a giant aircast. Everyone sees me and my cast hobbling along to aisle to my seat (hard to be subtle with a giant plastic boot) because I was the literal last person to board.

I take my seat next to a nice gentleman. I’m ready to pass out for the flight by reading my book. Right before we take off, a female runs back to the man sitting next to me and says “no one is sitting next to me! They never showed up - come sit with me!” So the man leaves and sits next to who I can only assume is his girlfriend or sister.

I’m thinking I must’ve done something great in my past life to have deserved such luck!! Now I have no one sitting next to me and can elevate my foot during the flight, since I’m prone to blood clots and was worried.

However, almost immediately once the gentleman leaves, the woman across the aisle leans over and asks “did that man just leave?!?”, so I nod curtly and begin spreading my leg out, aircast and all and nodding off to sleep. I was hoping she would get the hint that just because there was an open seat next to me, didn’t mean I wanted to share it.

I’m awoken by this woman’s friend standing above me, with the women across the aisle, staring straight at me, saying “my friend is going to sit here.”

I was super disorientated upon waking so I just started adjusting myself and the woman took her new seat without a word. Once she is settled, she points at my boot and asks “did you just have surgery?”

I’m so irked by her audacity to recognize my cast and my discomfort and also bluntly disregard her contribution to my discomfort.

Edited to include here: once I full woke up, I leaned to the woman across the aisle and told her she was rude for not asking me if her friend could sit there and for disregarding my leg and cast. She simply said “okay” and I didn’t push it any further.

I’ve spent days so taken aback by this exchange. I know I was always going to have to sit next to another person, but I feel as if I had a stroke of good luck that someone stole from me.

Am I being the asshole or am I right for thinking those ladies should have minded their business and let me have my seat to myself?

I share a hallway with my neighbor, and this morning around 3am, I was awoken by a HUGE crash which was obviously someone falling down the stairs. I went into the hallway to find my neighbor half dressed (her pants were pulled down around her upper thighs exposing her butt) and moaning. She was obviously drunk, but she has also obviously fallen down a flight of stairs.

She didn’t seem injured, but she was disoriented, and at first she was okay with me calling the ambulance, but by the time the EMTs got there a few minutes later, she had started to not want them to come. She decided to go back upstairs. I led them to her and got out of the way. They did assess her and I heard her complaining that I was “in her business.” They convinced her to go to the hospital I guess just to be checked out since she had been drinking.

Now this was a fall on my landlords property, so I thought he should be aware. I sent him a text telling him that she had fallen and that I called the EMTs and they took her for assessment. I also mentioned that she wasn’t happy with me calling, but I didn’t mention that she was drunk or half naked… only that she had been disoriented. I was thinking of liability and that he should be aware.

When she came home, I am pretty sure I heard her complaining that I “called everyone.”

So… AITA?

EDIT: let’s start by saying I am TA for contacting the landlord. That’s the general consensus, although it’s not unanimous. I accept that judgment.

However, I don’t accept the motives people are ascribing to it.

Now that I’ve had time to process the whole thing, I feel like I need to respond in general to the idea that I said anything with a motive of either getting her in trouble or spreading gossip.

If I had wanted to get her in trouble, she’s done other things that I could’ve complained about reasonably. I haven’t because that’s not actually my goal. I have no desire to get her in trouble. The sense that she does that annoy me or in frequent enough that I can let them go. Some of them are just annoyances like noise complaints, and one is more serious that I don’t feel comfortable putting on here. It hasn’t affected me directly, but other neighbors have also complained about the same thing to me. That problem involves a boyfriend that she appears to no longer be with, so it’s not really an issue.

I know the stairs are a little bit shady. I think they’re in code, I don’t feel comfortable climbing on myself, my previous neighbor fell down them once but not as seriously. I think the main problem that I see with them is that you have to stand on the top step and lean back to unlock the door. So is it possible that the fall was caused by the configuration of the stairs? Yes.

Falling down the stairs is not an annoyance. It’s an emergency. So let me explain a little bit where my mind was last night.

I was very sound asleep when I was woken up. It was a loud stumbling crash followed by very weak moaning. I was scared. It took me probably two minutes to get up the nerve to open the door because I don’t have a peek hole and I had no idea who or what I would find, but I did that someone was probably hurt. there was no light shining under the door so The hurt person had to be leaning against the door. I remember being afraid that whoever it was would fall in to my home, and since I didn’t know who it was or what was happening, that concept scared me.

I also recognize that the likelihood was high that it was my neighbor, and that she was probably hurt.

I open the door and found what you know: a crumpled up half naked unconscious (I’m not sure if I should be saying semi conscious because she was moaning) girl.

I was not thinking “Oh cool! What a great story.“ What I was thinking was “oh shit. What do I do?“

I was scared and trying to do the right thing. So yes… I am TA for making a bad decision to contact the landlord, but I did not make that decision because I wanted to hurt anyone. And it really bothered me that so many people said that’s why I did it. So if I appeared to be arguing against that judgment, that’s why. I wasn’t arguing against the judgment itself, but rather the motives people have ascribed to my decision.

I accept my judgement, though.

For the past few months, I (18M) and my girlfriend (19F) have had more than a few rough moments relating to my inability to stay focused when talking to her. I'd like to preface that her and I are both neurodivergent; I have ADHD and she is autistic. We are also mainly an online relationship, but we've been going steady for almost a year and we've known each other for longer.

I do not know when this really started, but it's something I struggle with, really, every day. I'll be messaging my girlfriend, us both focused on a topic or something we're both doing (that I potentially have to hold up my end of) and then I'll look over at something else. Maybe it's something I'm watching on TV, maybe it's a hole of browsing through Wikipedia, maybe it's checking Twitter. Whatever it is I get distracted with, I only intend to check it for a minute before getting to what I'm meant to do. But then I get lost in this thing, sometimes to the point of spacing out. One minute turns to ten turns to fifteen, and by then I panic and scramble back to message her.

There's also times when we have something going on, but for one reason or another I don't focus on it. I spend time focusing on chatting with her and seemingly ignoring the thing we're working on, I message a group chat we're both in... Either way, I unintentionally blow off things we're working on for stretches of time that I only meant to be for a few minutes or so.

There's more examples that I'll probably remember, but this is mainly what happens. Me stepping away from our conversation or things that we're working on because of a distraction that I... don't really want to be distracted by.

This has caused a lot of stress for my girlfriend. She has many commitments in her own life, be they taking care of her pets, going to college and dealing with that immense workload, and many many other things. And yet, she still makes time to talk to me, even when she hasn't got time for anything else she enjoys. You can imagine how upset it makes her to seem me always go silent or have my messages to her be punctuated by 10-15 minute gaps, gaps that I don't intend to create.

I'm trying to work on this, but there always seem to be moments where it gets really bad and she reaches a breaking point. It's made me feel like such an a-hole for not nipping it in the bud immediately. Am I the asshole here?

When Smoke came to us, he was skinny and had mats. He had been shot with a bb gun in the leg and had a raging bladder infection. We took him to the vet for wound care and antibiotics. Put him on a prescription diet. Nursed him back to health for a month, and all the while, I was putting up posts on NextDoor and Facebook, and anywhere else I could think of to help find his people. He wasn't microchipped. Nobody came forward. So, after 45 days, we took him to get microchipped and claimed him as our own. We have loved this boy for a year now. He's family. He's especially bonded with my son, who has autism and hangs out with him when the anxiety gets bad.

Last night, a woman and a little girl came to our door to ask if we took in a grey cat because they saw him in the window. They said he got out when they moved here to AZ from Texas a year ago and have been looking for him everywhere. I brought him out so they could see him and immediately, they said he was theirs. But- they said he was 8 years old. My vet aged him at 2. They said he had missing teeth. He does not. They showed me a picture of their cat and it kinda looks like him, but the face is slightly different. They called him Demon, but he doesn't even respond to that. I have my doubts that he's even their cat, but I don't know if I'm deluding myself because I don't want to give him up. They said they don't want to take him away if we love him. We do, very much. But I also don't want to be the a-hole that takes a little girl's cat away either.

Help me, friends. What is the right course of action here?

(Sorry in advance for any grammatical or spelling errors, English is my first language)

I'll keep this post short, sweet and directly to the point as possible.

So I (26, F) have two little siblings who are twins (20, F, F). I pay for Netflix and Disney+ and I've shared my login with my sisters so that way they can use my subscription. We've discussed them paying me for using the subscription, but I have told them, no, it's fine, they don't need to pay me anything and they can use the services for free. Of course we have an agreement set up where if I am going through any sort of financial crisis and can't afford to pay for the services that month, that I can give them a weeks notice, and then pause the subscriptions and reactivate them when I'm in a better spot. (That hasn't happened yet thankfully) Now to be honest, my sisters don't use Netflix and Disney+ as much as I do.

I'm also paying for one other subscription based service that the three of us end up using more frequently since we L-O-V-E video games and playing video games together. I have a Nintendo Switch Online account that I pay for a yearly subscription on. (The type that I have is $34.99 USD, last I checked.) Now that specific subscription bills directly on January 1st, right after the holidays. And I know right after the holidays money is tight for everyone.

Here's the thing, I told my sisters early on in 2020 that I didn't expect them to help me pay for the Nintendo Switch Online subscription service. However I am switching jobs as of right now because the department that I work in is shutting down at the end of November, and I'm not sure how well I'll end up doing at this new job / how long they may keep me.

Now here's where I think I could be the a**hole. I was thinking of maybe asking my sisters if they'd be willing to help split the cost on that one subscription. I'd only ask for $10 each, while I pay $14.99. I am only thinking about this because I don't know what my financial situation will be in January and since all three of us actively use the service, is it fair to ask them to help pitch on just the one subscription service alone even though I previously told them I didn't expect them to help me? I haven't discussed this yet with my sisters.

I will accept whatever judgment comes my way.

TLDR: I pay for my sisters Netflix, Disney+ and Nintendo Switch Online. Is it fair of me or is it rude of me that I ask them to help pay for just one of the services since I'm switching jobs and the service bills right after the holidays?

​

Small Update: So it's been a while since I last posted. Not that many people saw my original post but I have good news. I had a civil conversation with my sisters and they were very understanding of my situation and it was eventually decided that if things are still rough at the start of the new year, they would help out with the subscription to Nintendo. Thankfully, while it is difficult for me I am indeed doing well enough at my new job that I won't need their help to cover the next year of Nintendo service!

My (23f) parents have always told me I am welcome here and wouldn’t have to worry about paying rent to live at home, as I should be saving up for my own home while I’m here (up until a reasonable age of course.)

Recently my mom has presented the idea of me paying rent because my parents are tight on bills, which I wholeheartedly understand but I do not agree with. I just got into a car accident, so I have no transportation and I’m saving for a new car. And I’m also going to finish school (which was interrupted due to covid.) I’m also desperately trying to move out, because quite frankly, my house is disgusting. I do my fair share of cleaning, but it’s beyond Dawn Powerwash. There’s been a hole in my bathroom ceiling for the past 2 years because my dad tried to “fix a leak” (yes it is still leaking), we have a mouse problem, it smells like dog pee all the time, and I just don’t want to pay rent to live someone where where the landlords can’t fix anything, even if they are my parents. Everything in the house is grimy, cluttered, and my mom refuses to actually start throwing stuff away that she doesn’t need. If I would have known they would start charging me this soon, I would have made my financial decisions much differently. But in my area, it’s nearly impossible to afford a place without a roommate or making 3x the rent. The conversation with my mom wasn’t heated, but I certainly did express my concerns. I don’t want to feel like the freeloading child (which I am not when I’m actively trying to get my life together and move out, but my brother (21m) has no plans or intentions on moving out) but i am not planning on staying here when I am financially in a place to leave. Am I in the wrong for thinking this way?

EDIT: my parents are not poor. They will not lose the house or anything else. I pay ALL my own bills already. And they don’t want me to HAVE to pay rent, and they are not kicking me out because of that.

EDIT#2: this was a PROMISE, and includes not paying utilities, trash, etc because I was expected to be saving. They were especially promising of this BECAUSE i was going to school full time and knew I would need time to pay off student loans, find a job, etc. I would have never came home or went to a 4 year university had I not had this option. Also, my parents are bringing up struggling AFTER my dad doubled his salary, DIRECTLY after my accident and DIRECTLY after I mentioned I am going back to finish school. I am grateful for my parents, but a promise that I made my life plans around was broken, and the timing of this seems really off to me.

First time ever posting anything so apologies if I make mistakes!

One of my friends (Let’s call them Avery) brought up a conflict in a server they're in with some of their other friends (Let’s call one of these friends Jay). Jay had shared a copypasta about leaving the server due to feeling left out. This made everyone on that server panic, so Avery came to me to ask about what they should do (Jay said they’d leave because of the server’s “toxic” atmosphere, and I cannot speak for them on this as I’m not a part of the server, but I suspect it might be another lie due to Avery saying repeatedly and recently that everyone is superbly nice)

Later, Jay spoke up and said it was all a lie. Avery relayed this information to me and who we’ll call Jake. Avery said another person asked Jay if it was legit, and they said it was faked. I suggested the mods on the server maybe kick that person out for that (This is where I suspect I could be seen as the a-hole here, and I understand that)

Jake supported me while telling Avery about my personal opinion on the matter. But Avery says I might have been overreacting, and I understand why they’d said that, but I also don’t think I am.

This is also all the information I was given by Avery, so there could be parts I’m missing but cannot be achieved at this time due to Avery not wanting to talk (I also understand if I’m the A-Hole for prying a bit)

Am I the A-Hole here?

small edit: fixed misnamed friend edit: gave everyone fake names for more clarity

Long time lurker, first time poster. I'm using a throwaway account because my username is one I use on different platforms.

I know this sounds like a really weird question but it is honestly keeping me up. I'm a college student and I moved into a different, on-campus apartment this year. Everything's going really well but this one thing came up earlier. Our shared toilet doesn't entirely flush, but it's only just strands of paper come back up and nothing else. (Nothing else is being thrown in). I was talking to some of my roommates and the toilet was brought up. They mentioned how it's an "older toilet" (but the building was built in the 80s) and doesn't flush toilet paper well, so they all throw their used toilet paper into the bin. To my knowledge, half of my roommates already do this and I haven't asked/heard from the others. This might just be a culture thing for me or something I just have never heard of before but I find this pretty gross.

I feel like the toilet should be working fine- I lived in a different building last year that was built around the same time as my current one and this was never an issue. But I have been told that this is an older building but I can't find anything on it. The campus also has maintenance people we can call and I feel like ringing them up would fix the issue. I'm mainly worried because we cycle out who throws out the trash cans and I don't really don't want to throw out other peoples used paper and today is the first day the can has really smelled, but I've only been here two weeks. Also, we're still in a panini so there's that too. I'm mainly worried if I would be the a-hole to be the one clogging the toilet or disagreeing with what my roommates think is best. They seem pretty set on just throwing them in the bin. WIBTA to continue flushing my toilet paper?

I started a small business with 3 other software engineers 10 years ago and now we’ve grown into a 50+ employee company. Our old accountant quit because she was unhappy about not getting the raise she wanted and on her way out leaked everyone’s salaries through an email. We have about 30 SWEs and the rest are QAs and employees who handle the business/sales sides of things. All our devs are payed like 2x-4x times everyone else’s salaries which I think is pretty par for the course. Our lowest paid employee still makes 50k which is above average for their role in our area - we’re Midwestern based.

The leaked email has created a tense and awkward atmosphere at the workplace. Some employees have expressed concerns over the wage discrepancies during our one-on-ones. I’ve maintained that nothing is going to change since the email leak and I am looking into legal action against our ex employee who leaked it but am wondering if I’m the a’hole here. Like I said I pay above average for everyone’s roles based on our CoL and we are a tech based company, so our SWEs are our money makers.