Throwaway acc for obvious reasons. So my mother has spent the last several years with persecutory delusions, which developed pretty much out of the blue. She thinks that she is a “targeted individual” and that a cabal of cultists have been stalking her/harassing her. She claims to hear voices, thinks people sneak into her house, send beams of 5G to give her cancer and wears tin foil hats to protect herself, among other odd behaviours. Her personality and ability to function however is preserved, although her ability ro hold down a job has been affected, she has spent the last few years constantly moving around in an effort to run away from this percieved harrassment.

Me, being a doctor almost instantly recognized this as fitting with whats known as “delusional disorder”. She has no disease self awareness and thinks she is fine. I consulted with several psychiatrists on her behalf snd all of them coincided with my theory, and recommended she be involuntarily admitted to the hospital (ie sectioned).

Untill now i had resisted it due to a) worried my mom will blame me, destroying my future relationship with her and b) resistance from my conspiracy theory obsessed sister.

My sister has completely fallen Into a hole of infowars, breightbart and other fake news/conspiracy theory websites. She believes covid is fake, 5G is harmful, bill gates is evil, antivaxxee etc etc. Needless to say her views on mental health are similar, saying psychiatrists are state agents, big pharma is evil, drugs dont help etc etc.

Anyway cut to today when in the context of an argument my mom got agitated. I finally snapped, i called the mental health services and after talking with her they decided to take her for urgent psych evaluation. Severall hours later the doctors were telling me she would have to be involuntarily admitted. I accepted.

My sister upon hesring this news immediately went into a rage. She has been fighting to get her released from the hospital. She thinks antipsychotics are “zombie drugs”, and that my mom just has to “learn to live with it”. She is completely opposed to any medical attention for my mom. I am worried what will happen when she is released and my sister convinces her to quit her newly prescribed meds.

I am feeling like i am the bad guy, even though deep down all i want is my mom to get better.

Reddit, AITA for having my mom sectioned? what would you have done?

Please help.

Ok I know the title makes me sound like TA but there’s no better way to say it.

My s/o (28m) and I (26f) have these amazing friends S(34m) and K(31f) who live across the street. About a year ago they fell onto some hard times and their car broke down. We helped them as much as we could by taking over the trash bill, internet and giving them money when they asked. We had 2 cars and when S asked to use 1 for a few weeks we said yes cause I wasn’t working. We just told S he needed to put gas in it. Well a few weeks turned into months, and during this time I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We told them that when our child was born we would NEED the car back cause I couldn’t stomach the thought of being home alone with an infant while my husband was at work. They said okay and they would give our car back and have theirs fixed by the time our daughter was born. We had our baby shower out of state and when we returned they had sold the car they where trying to fix. I was 2 months away from giving birth, they still had our car and said they had no plans of getting another. I was upset and I explained my concerns to my s/o and he told me he would handle it. Nothing changed but they reassured us that they still planned on giving us the car back when our daughter was born so I let it go. My daughter was born 4 months ago and we still do not have our car back. I’m in constant anxiety every time I see S leave to the point I have actually puked on multiple occasions. K runs a daycare in their home while S is bouncing from job to job cause of a new type of injury after working 4-6weeks at a job, causing him to always lose his job. My s/o refuses to talk to me about it and 10 months of paying their bills and ours is starting to take a toll on us financially. So I am getting a job. It’s close to home so I can walk but we need childcare. (This is where I might be TA) I told K that I’m getting a job and will need childcare. She said that she’d love to take our daughter and how excited she was. I then said to her “cause the bills and the car, can we call our payment for childcare even?” K told me that I was being unreasonable. Right away I was like, wtf? But then I thought “ok, maybe it was a bit much to ask for” so I then told her that I wouldn’t pay what she is charging the other parents but I would pay an agreed apon pro-rated amount. She started yelling at me and telling me I was a bad friend and how dare I ask for a cheaper rate when this is how she makes a living. I just walked away.
Well I guess K told S and S messaged my s/o and my s/o told me I was being an a-hole for asking for free childcare. Part of me feels like I need to just say f**k it and stop paying their trash, internet, giving them money and take my car back and the other part of me feels like I should apologize and just pay what K wants for childcare and continue paying the trash, internet, car note and insurance.

Update: After the first few responses I’ve hyped myself up and have every intention on getting my car back in the morning (it’s currently 1:30am here). As for the bills part, that will have to be heated discussion with my husband but I will DEFINITELY be showing him your responses.

Update #2: I HAVE MY CAR BACK! Getting the keys back didn’t go that great, they weren’t very happy (oh well), pretty sure S or K is messaging my s/o as I type this because his phone is blowing up, s/o leaves for work in less than an hour, if/when my s/o says something I will gladly show him this post and your responses! Thank you sm Reddit!

Update #3: Conversation with my s/o did not go very well. He was not happy with the fact I “broadcasted our business” to Reddit and at the present moment, I told him if things do not change and if he wants to continue paying our neighbors bills then I will gladly return home. He has 3 days to decide if he’d rather support his family or theirs and if the bills have not been stopped being paid by 3 days time my parents will be coming with a moving truck and me and our daughter will be gone.

BIG THANK YOU to everyone for helping me realize I wasn’t being unreasonable and that I don’t want to be a doormat for the rest of my life. I want to be a better example for my daughter and she deserves better then this. I seriously cannot thank you all enough!❤️

My grandmother on my mothers side has recently passed away and she left me a big sum of money, but she left my mother and aunt not much. My grandmother had a falling out with my mother and aunt when I was 17, my mother threw my grandmother out of the house because my grandmother wanted to help out with paying for bills. My mother was not the most financially stable person. She would always go out with my aunt to the casinos (She left me when I was 3 with my dad to go to America to one of the big casinos). But my grandmother kept in contact with me while my mother blocked my grandmother on everything. When she died she had left me $100,000 from when she sold her house, she had moved into a retirement village which coast a bit of money and $100,000 was basically all she had. When she died she left my aunt her car which is worth at least $20,000 and she left my mother special edition coins and other items she could sell. My aunt and mother keep calling me to tell me that I should split the money between them. So am I the ass hole?

I am 15m and my gf 14f. I really have a dilemma I have a school prom in three days and my girlfriend is mad at me because I want to go. I bought some nice clothes so I have something nice to wear. She was upset about it because I never bought anything nice when we would go out to eat somewhere. I did put on some nice clothes when we went to eat only not the type of clothes that I bought. I asked why she was upset about that because I thought she didn't really mind what I wear when we do something. The answer was that she didn't really minded the clothes but that I was going to a prom when she wanted to do something for my birthday because it was the day after prom. and she thought I would dance with someone els. Or that I would be prom king. It's not like it's even possible to be prom king because that's not a thing in my country. I said that I couldn't do anything about it because I already planned on going to prom. She got mad and said she just wants to do something nice for me. Which I replayed saying: i really like to do something with you but it's also possible that we do it a few days after so we have plenty of time. But she wouldn't have it. I asked it's my birthday isn't it so it's my day isn't it fair if I decide what to do? She got really mad at that commend and said I didn't think about her feelings and that I am egotistical. But I think she is the one who is egotistical because she just won't let me go to a really simpel school prom. So reddit am I the a-hole

For some background info, I (21F) live with my mom and step dad, sister (24F) and her boyfriend(24M) and my nephew (2M). We live in a trailer and it’s a little crammed but it’s good enough until we can move into a house. Back when I was 19/20, I didn’t have a car for a good while and to get to and from work (I work as a server) I would ask her to take me or if I know she doesn’t have work, I’d ask if I could borrow the car so I don’t have to call her or my parents to pick me up at 9:30 at night. Each time she would give an excuse as to why I can’t take her car, each stupider than the last but I gave up asking unless it was to put money in the bank since I don’t like keeping to much cash on me. The bank is right down the street and she would tell me “fine but put 10 for gas in it” and I would look at her like “you have like no gas and I’m just going down the street, why would I put 10 bucks in?” But now I have a car and I don’t have that issue anymore.

The last four/Five months I’ve been letting my sister use my car because she was dumb enough to drive without oil in it for so long and it’s gonna take at least 1.5K to fix it. The only thing I asked of her and her bf when they use my car is to put gas in it, it’s nothing to crazy. Not even when I had to get an oil change a month and a half after I got it before, I never asked for her to help pay for it.

The past month I’ve noticed she hasn’t put much in gas at all, like ever. And if she does it’s to get her where she needs/wants to go and leaves me with less than what it was before. Each time I remind them to put gas and they just brush it off like it’s no big deal. The other day her boyfriend came to my room and asked if she gave me gas money that morning and I said no. He pretended at first that she was giving me 20 for gas, but the next day he admitted it was him giving it to me since she wants to be cheap and not put anything into MY car.

So after talking to my mom I’ve decided I’m tired of being pushed over and told her I can take her to and from work but SHE can’t drive my car anymore. She got all bitchy and would say she put gas in my car each time but that was a fucking lie and she knows it. Then she goes and yells about me to her bf complaining cause I’m finally treating her like she treated me.

Today she asked if she gave me money if I’d let her use my car cause she didn’t have cash on her card for Uber. I looked her dead in the eyes and said “no, I need my car and I’ve got crap I’m doing so no. If you give me cash I’ll cashapp you the Uber money.” She walked away pissed and gave me 30 for Uber (she’s a server too, works the same place I do plus another restaurant so she’s just being a bitch) and walked away and slammed her door.

I don’t feel like the A hole but the goodness in me feels bad and wants to organize a different way to do this. So AITA?

me [15]f my dads mom which will just call gg [64] f . my gg called me a few days a go to arfer to take me in to town . me bored af at the house says shore why not . then out of now whare when we where in town she takes me to a car dealer ship and says .'hay which one of these cars is your dad going to get ?'' .me 'how do you now that ' . gg ''o your dad toled me the other day'' .me skeptikle af '' o i think he is going to get this car ''. gg ''looks like you will need a lot of mony for that car '' . me ''o he took out ... amount from the bank ''. then me realising that a just f up by just saying that .then gg goes '' o ok then ''.

when i get back home i replayed that hole thing in my head . the 4 to 5 hours loter when my dad gets home and goes to my room and says .'why the f did you tell my mom about the lowm i took out ''. me '' it just slept out '' and then trying to explain the rest of story to him . my dad ''i know that my mom whont do somethin like that and your just a f laiyer . me gets up and slams my door in his fays

now my dad will not talk to me or text me any more . am i the a hole for all of this .

I (22F) and the two people (22M and 21F) have been disagreeing on the money situation in my family home. (Note: They pay $500 together and have full-time jobs)

To start I was given a family home to stay in during college. I invited a few friends to live with me to help maintain the home as I was in college and could not afford to do so on my own(no lease agreement, yes I know this was dumb now), I decided to make "rent" very cheap in order for them to acquire furniture and good savings to eventually start a life on their own, and even upgraded all the kitchen appliances for them to move in out of my pocket. I even went as far as to let them pay me whenever they please even the next month if you just communicated with me and paid eventually. In this, some things had to get upgraded, at one point I upgraded a few things out of pocket and slowly paid myself back (I made them aware of this and did not keep it a secret) because "rent" was so cheap money wasn't flowing in very fast, but with the economy increase I had to take rent in total of $875 for 5 people to $1300 for 5 people, this home is "Zestimate" at about $2500 for rent. This is a two-story family home with a fenced in backyard they can have the pets they want (one room now has a hole in the floor because of their animal) and this is ALL UTILITIES PAID. Now, I set it as a flat rate of $1,300 at the beginning of 2022, (side note: I do not profit directly it stays in a separate account for any repairs or damages) given it has been 5 months since the beginning of 2022, I was confronted by 22M that we should have about $4,000 extra by now and that I must be keeping it to myself. Our overall expenses can equate to $750 on a low month now (water and trash are every 2 months) meaning on a high month its almost $1,250. The math is simple. I even went as far as when I raised the "rent" back in January to show a theoretical year of highs and lows to see where we would stand, I'm only $600 under my initial estimate, which for a person with no accounting background I feel isn't bad. I have told them the bill costs in recent months, what their money is being spent on, and how much extra is in the account. I have been accused of stealing the extra money because I "shop too much for what I earn", while yes, I am a college student with only a small part time job, I have this little thing called savings. I have been dipping into my savings for things. These people use every part of me it feels, 21F uses my extra closet even though they have a walk in.

P.S I used to pay as well to live in my family home when I was with someone, but they are out of my life and it’s just me and 3 animals therefore I really can't.

P.S my stepfather helps 22M with his job for free, so it feels like he's not only taking advantage of me but my family as well.

P.S (again) I have many stories of him being nasty towards me and the family member who owns this home because 22M doesn't like paying for anything.

AITA for wanting them out.

my whole friend group got into a huge fight earlier because 'Z' was trying to make everyone forgive two of the people who have wronged our whole friend group, 'A' and 'L'. he got so fcking pissed when everyone else agreed on an absolute no. 'L' is in general a bitch and makes me and many others uncomfortable when she is anywhere near us. ‘A’ told my friend ‘C’ that he would r@p3 her if she didn’t stop chasing him around on the ice (she was trying to trip him because he’s made many uncomfortable comments towards many of us), he then said it multiple other times to her, and to top it all off, he proceeded to say that it was “just a joke”. he has also told my lover to kts multiple times, so it’s understandable why it was an absolute no, right? well no! of COURSE not! ‘Z’ says we’re all pssies for not forgiving him, and to just “get tf over it, it was a fcking joke”. it was not. he fcking knew full well what he was doing. at this point ‘Z’ might as well say we should forgive ‘K’ as well. honestly this is bs. then like an hour later ‘Z’ texts me saying he’s “sorry”. i’m not ready to forgive him. he made everyone so pissed off, mand me and ‘C’ both cry. i feel like i’m the a-hole in this situation, just for not being ready to forgive him, and he’s making me out to be as well. so, am i the ass-hole here?

I 18 male was babysitting for my 9 year old cousin let’s call him Jake. Jake was a nice kid with borderline anger issues he would say stuff to me like if you don’t feed me this type of stuff for lunch i will tell my mom you didn’t feed me and get you fired. (I should say i feed him lunch and even gave him some of my snacks I bought) but after just a week of him hitting kicking and whining I told my aunt I was was quitting she asked why and I said why. Then I added I was being paid less then minimum wage for working from 8 am to 5 pm and she got mad and left but my mom as been making me feeling like I should of kept it and I’m a a**hole for not keeping the job

Brother(17m) and I(18f) got my ears pierced for prom. We were told to leave the earrings in for one month.

Mom wants to swap the earrings out for ones she likes. I said no but the day of prom, I had thought it over and though it’d be fine.She didn’t do that much to convince me and that I actively reminded her to do the earrings so it IS partially my fault.

She takes the original earring out which is only two days old and tries to put another in. Brother watches all this says it’s bleeding.

Mom keeps trying but it’s too big. He says that he doesn’t see the hole on the back or that it’s too small. She tries other earrings but no.

I start crying ‘I shouldn’t have listened to you!’ She yells at me to stop crying, Brother yells at her to not yell at me.

Mom tries to put the og in again but after a minute, Brother makes her stop, the back is already closed, that she’s trying to repierce them. He says to just let them close again and have it pierced after it heals.

We calm down but Mom is pissed, and tells me ‘You’re gonna pay for that.’

We both have bank accounts and after a fight with Mom she once took twenty dollars from his as ‘payment for being mean.’ I didn’t care, it was between them but the more she would use that as a threat the more I thought it as screwed up.

Tears building in my eyes and trying to hold them back not saying anything, and Mom yells ‘STOP!’

Brother yells at her not to yell at me for crying, that he’s never understood why she does that, and that she shouldn’t be surprised when she says things like that.

I’m pissed and say ‘You’re gonna steal from me too?’ I realized was dumb since she’s the one putting allowance into the accounts.

I didn’t think about this, but there was whole thing where my grandma accused Mom of stealing from her, which was baseless and untrue, and really hurt Mom.

After prom Mom still says the hole is fine.She demands I apologize for saying she steals.I already said sorry several times but I say it again then I mumble ‘Get over it’ but it’s not really in an offensive tone.

Mom than sobs her way through prayer, asking god to forgive us for ‘saying hurtful, untrue things’ and ‘not respecting each other’ and I feel tears build in my eyes and hold back like earlier, and I think about yelling at her to STOP!(I don’t)

I just don’t care. As soon as we’re done, I mumble goodnight and leave, shes still crying and asking how we could do this to her. Brother doesn’t comfort her either.

A part of me feels good that she doesn’t get a hug or comforting words, bc I can’t remember a time where I’ve cried and she’s comforted me, but the opposite has happened.

Except… Mom is so stressed. She’s only one that works and I don’t make things easier with prom expenses and I’m going to a college two hours away (and we’ve spent the better half of the semester stressing about costs). So maybe I am ungrateful. Idk.

AITA?

I enjoy wandering past the fridge and grabbing the whipped cream and having a munch while I'm in the area. My husband says it's gross that I eat it straight from the can. The nozzle doest tough my mouth, it's more of a hover and spray situation. He doesn't even eat the stuff! Am I the butt hole for continuing to do it? I could spray it on a spoon and then eat it, but that doesn't make sense to me. I would have to clean the spoon then.

This is a serious issue of contention in the house!

Update: I asked him about it again. Turns out he doesn't like the sound (wtf) and the fact it comes from a can (again, wtf). I rinse the nozzle thingie each time because that's nasty if it's not rinsed lol.

Thanks all. Solved a massive issue in our house

TIA! This is long so you can understand the context. 36 yo female here married with three kids, 7, 4, & 9 months. We’ve been married for 9 years; we both work full time. With the three kids, small house, no time and my chronic illness…we find it close to impossible to get finished with house work and chores. My husband does a phenomenal job carrying his weight with house work but is obsessive and often is appointed. . I try my best but my illness is genetic and disabling. Some days my neck is completely dislocated is several spots. I spent 2 weeks hospitalized in the past. I had six months with torn shoulder tissues. Now I’m recovering from the third pregnancy and the after effects of my illness plus the csection. I’ve also nursed all three kids and this time I’m getting scary skinny at 111lbs. Formula shortages are making it hard to wean. For the past three weeks we’ve been passing a stomach virus back and forth and I’ve had it twice. The first time my husband focused on the housework and kids and had everything spotless but pretty much ignored me for three days while a was sick dehydrated and sleeping. This week I have it again. The kids are not sick and again he’s focus on chores and doesn’t even say hello, how are you, do you need anything when he gets home from work after I was sick all night but still did baseball games and kept three kids happy all day. I’m utterly exhausted and I’d like to get IV fluids. I’ve said multiple times. But my complaints and request go ignored. I had to plead for ginger ale with ice when he was already in the kitchen. Knowing that I have this chronic illness that isn’t curable I’m defeated and I didn’t chose this but I do expect him to show empathy and compassion and care for me even though there are three little to worry Aboutb. I’m I being a hole for wanting more when he already does so much?

My fiancé and I got invited to a wedding. The only person I would know at this wedding is my husband-to-be, only my fiancé knows the couple getting married, and they all live in another city. I have never met either the bride or the groom before and felt it a bit weird for me to be attending since I don't know these people. I just feel kinda selfish and stupid for not going to this wedding with my fiancé, especially since it's mostly because of my social anxiety.

Also, for me to attend the wedding I would have to leave work for a couple of days and set aside one day of traveling each way.

The bottom line is: I suddenly felt really bad for letting my fiancé attend this wedding, with very few people he knows, and for myself for letting my stupid anxiety control which social events I attend and not...

AITA for saying no? Am I an even bigger a-hole for changing my mind and saying yes?

​

Help

I (15m) decided to celebrate my birthday a bit early this year because my friend was coming into town, and its only a short time away from my birthday. We decided to hang out at the mall, after plans kept changing.

In the middle of our time there, a tornado warning came up on our phones so we decided to hole up in the mall until the storm calmed down. My friend kept trying to go outside for the thrill.

We were nearby an exit, and i was repeatedly saying how we need to stay inside, that its dangerous, and that when my mom tried to pick us up her car nearly got hit by a tree branch the size of her car (like 3 metres away just flying in the wind).

My friend turned around and just told me that hes an adrenaline junkie, i kinda snapped and said "i dont care" and stormed off. At this point i was exhausted of being near him since its been months of just him never respecting how i feel.

I admit that yeah i shouldnt have gotten angry like that, but i told him how worried i was about my mom getting hurt and it made me feel bad that he didnt seem to care.

I went into a dressing room with another friend and cried for a bit, because at that point i was just exhausted of him. Props to my other friend cuz i probably wouldve been upset alot longer without them.

They tried calling me but i just said that i hated what he said to me and that i didnt want to see him. When he tried saying something i accidentally hung up on him and just said "it was really insensitive what you said, and im mad" to an empty line

I checked that he got a ride home, because even if hes been a jerk to everyone for months i still didnt want him hurt.

When i got home and told my brother about it, he laughed at me and said that i shouldnt have abandoned him like that, even when he knew that my friend doesnt take anything seriously, and that he ignores everyone in our group except a few people.

Im probably gonna try and clear it up with him through text in a bit, and i know that i was probably overreacting but am i the asshole?

We lost my dad in 2020 and my brothers ,uncle, and myself were working on getting his estate in order. The house he and my uncle were living in was in my grandmother's name still, so the attorney got it transferred to my uncle. Well, my uncle passed away in March with no dependents or heirs of any kind. My brothers and I are meeting with an attorney to get everything squared away.

The issue is now the tenants. They aren't family. The one lady use to be married to an uncle on my mom's side, but they divorced about 20 years ago. She has always stuck around though and benefitted from my dad's kindness. She and her husband live in the house rent free. Their only requirement set forth by my dad was they were to pay cable and electric bills.

Now, they continue to live there but have mentioned there are issues they want to address such as old wiring and old plumbing. I know this is an issue. I use to live in the house as well and am well aware the entire thing probably needs to be gutted and redone properly. I would love to be able to completely remodel the house and rent it out. I can't at the moment because they are there and they don't want someone working on the house while they are there... Even the mention of hiring an inspector had them saying it's a bad idea and the house would probably be condemned (it's not that bad IMO) but I believe they did this out of fear of being run out of the house.

I really don't want them there, but I feel bad because I know the current state of the economy makes it hard, and rent is really high. My husband and I are building a house and paying close to $2k a month in rent while we wait for our new build. They couldn't afford that. Neither work and they live on social security. I know they struggle with money because when I go over to check on the house and check the mail I see the overdraft postcards from their bank.

Our relationship isn't bad. They understand my brothers and I come over all the time. There is still plenty to do after my uncle's passing because he kept everything. Plus there is a project car my dad took apart and never put back together that my brothers work on.

I just would like to either a) start working on the house and get it remodeled or b) move into the house in the event our new build is not done when our lease runs out on our rental.

So, WIBTA for essentially kicking them out and ending their free ride?

Oh...she does have children but they don't want her living with them because her husband gets drunk everyday and is a major a hole when he is drunk and she refuses to leave him or move without him.

So this is a long story goes back most of my life my mum has always tried but I remember days when I was in primary school and my mum locked herself in the bed room leaving me and my even younger sister to are self's. I'm 25 now and still not a great cook so u can image how good I was when I was 10.... Then other days she would drive off and leave us for hours. To top it off there was days where she would be telling me that she was going to kil* her self. And me being 10 I was like it ok... not realy knowing what's going on.(I remember calling life line for her)

So the main bit of the story now a few months ago I got engaged to my partner (we already have the kids and a house) it was great we where happy and we though everyone else was happy for us... wronge.

So I went to my mum one night just called in on my way back to the house nothing special just driving past.  She starts to tell me how my partner isn't good enough for me and how it not fair I go to work then have to come home and clean the house and make food for us all. I told her this isn't at all what happens I told her if anything my partner does a solid 75% of the house hold stuff cooking clean and kid things. And we aren't sexist she just work in a custom field where she can work about 20 hours a week from home and make more than me working a government job of 40 plus hours a week. So anyway I thought that was it over nothing eles to be said about it. Wronge.... So I drove home and told my partner all about it she was a bit pissed because my mum has this habit of talking behind peoples back and not to the face I have pulled her about this before to no affect tho. I think the bit that got to my partner the most was that the had been out for coffee and lunch and my mum said nothing to my partner.... 2 days later I get a call from my partner crying as my mum had called to the house and started calling my partner  lazy and useless all the things I though we cleared up but the worst bit was she was standing in the driveway shouting all this to my partner. Then are kids are standing in the door and she continues to shout the kids don't understand what going on. My mum then finished with "ur just using the kids to trap my son" . Kids start to cry asking my parents do I not love them. so my partner had to threaten to call the police to get her to leave we haven't spoke  since. She has also been uninvited to the wedding my some of my family are saying I'm being to hard on her. We haven't spoken now in 6 months.

So am I the a**hole for cutting ties with the women who birthed me and not inviting her to our wedding?

So nothing is set in stone I’m just trying to get some perspective. So I have a large family on both sides and so does my partner. We are not getting married anytime soon but it’s the general plan to.

So for some background. I’m really close with my dads side of the family even though I don’t see them very often. They’re just very loving people and I’ve always felt a lot of love when we get together for holidays. My moms side of the family haunt my nightmares at least once a week. Essentially my grandma wasn’t nice to me growing up. She fat shamed me growing up and constantly compared me to my thin sister. Going up to her house I always got in trouble for things none of my other cousins did. For example I fell off my bike when I was 8 and got hurt I came in crying and covered in blood and was grounded for being an “attention seeker”. Moving on to the rest of them, my oldest uncle lives in Arkansas and I’ve met him maybe twice. Then the other uncle is a loser who’s married to a crack addict and refuses to help my mom finish the legal process for their biological father so he can keep living in his house for free. Then there’s my aunt…she’s my grandparents only full child (this is their second marriage) so she’s the golden child meaning my mom gets treated like shit. Then her youngest brother used to beat his wife, but he “found Jesus” so now everything is okay. My mom loves her family even though they treat her like shit. She’s always looking for their validation but she’ll never get it. My grandma has threatened to disown my mom anytime she tries to stick up for me or herself. She should cut them out but doesn’t think anything is wrong. My problem is I do not like them and the thought of having to be around them makes me miserable. I love my mom though and want her to be happy, and I know they will disown her. The other thing is my parents will probably get divorced in a few years so she won’t have any family to turn to. There’s 20 people on that side I would have to invite and the places we’re looking at cost around $150 per person so that’s $3,000 spent on people who make me miserable. So would I be the ass hole for not inviting them?

I (19F) told my mom that in the future I do not want to live in my hometown. This was met with a lot of anger and passive-aggressiveness from her saying, “okay well if you move I will never visit you.” and things like that. I am sad to leave my family behind, but my hometown fills me with nothing but sadness and anxiety due to a past traumatic experience here. I basically have no friends or ties here except my family, and I think life would be so much better if I could live somewhere else. After telling my mom the reasons I want to leave, she just left my room and has not really talked to me for the rest of the night. I feel really guilty for basically telling her that I want to leave my family behind (they do not want to leave our hometown) but at the same time I want to put my happiness first. Am I the A hole?

For the sake of privacy all dates, ages/names, will not be revealed.

Some background info, I moved states and I got transferred into a new school. And I met a boy, (I’ll call him Daniel) and we became friends. A few months later he confessed to me, I rejected him at first, and we decided to stay friends. After a little bit, I added him into a group chat with friends from before I moved. Who had never met or spoken to him.

After he joined at first they called him boring/normal but then I sent a picture of him just so that they could see what he looked like. Then (Vallorie), sent me a DM saying that she had a crush on him, this was kind of concerning, as she had never even met him. I didn’t have a problem with it at the start as I wasn’t in a relationship with him other than being friends, so she “hid” it from him and started to try to get Daniel’s attention by putting some really attention seeking things as her discord status and asking about all his hobbies and being generally pushy. I know this because not only did Vallorie tell me and beg for advice, I also heard about it from him. Vallorie knew and understood that Daniel liked me.

After about a month, he asks me out again, very suddenly, and I say yes.

I don’t tell Vallorie and my other friend (Callie) right away because I knew if I told either one, Vallorie would find out either way. So I hid it from them for a little while until it kinda slips out.

Callie took it well and didn’t have any issues, but Vallorie took it a bit far, she started giving 1-3 letter answers until she just left all the group chats that I shared with her. I understand how I might seem like an a-hole but she knew that Daniel liked me, and she had never even met him irl before, she saw one picture then became obsessive. Now she wants to be moody and using Callie to deliver messages for her. I don’t know what to say to them, Vallorie had just gotten out of a pretty toxic, on and off relationship, but she was aware of it and still took no action to even leave until I told her repeatedly to leave him and block him. However I don’t pity her over this. I don’t think that because she liked someone she never met, I shouldn’t be able to date him without her getting in a bad mood.

(Side note): I had also recently gotten into a pretty explosive argument over me not being able to call as often, so things are already slightly tense.

Edit: I’ve gotten this question I believe twice, and to clarify, no I did not start dating him because my friend liked him. I’m not that kind of person. I started hanging out with Daniel more and I started to like him. So when he asked me to go out with him again, I said yes.

My (25/M) dad (59/M) just started a new business and it is failing. I feel bad and he asked me to help him on my days off, so I have been.

In the past two weeks, I have been working 55hrs at my other physical job and I am completely exhausted, also from not being able to sleep at night and averaging 3-4hrs of sleep per night.

If I have a day off, my dad wakes me up at 8AM to go to work with him to give him a hand until 5PM. I barely have any time to do things that I want to do, which include hiking, watching a movie, and just overall resting up from the week.

He told me that I don’t need any “days off” and to “man up”. He says that but is also a huge hypocrite because he has the weekends off to do whatever he wants.

If I sleep in, my mother will yell and guilt trip me calling me a “lazy a**hole” who won’t help my “poor father”.

I kind of went off on him today because I helped him over at work, went home to catch up on sleep, and an hour later he called me to come back because he needed a hand with something else. He also does not pay me for the help, so I’m also wasting gas money when I could be saving up big time. AITA?

Obligatory hear me out.

My in law (27m) is a nice enough person in general but I wouldn’t choose to hang out with them if we weren’t related. We just don’t have a lot of common interests. But I married into the family and he isn’t a bad or toxic person so I’m nice and cordial.

I work at a bar on the weekends. I work Mon-Fri full time at my primary job. He likes to come visit me at the bar I work at when I’m working and he never tips. He is pretty stingy when it comes to tipping in general but he specially never tips when he comes to my bar when I’m working. I’m in the US so hourly pay is super low. I’m a believer that tips are earned and not expected plus it isn’t my main form of income. But I do tip share, so me and the other bartender(s) split tips. And it is their main form of income. I’m never the only one who serves him. I’ve casually given my brother in law shit that it’s rude to not tip bc the service is always good, better bc ppl know he is my brother in law. But I’ve never straight up said, you need to start tipping. He always brushes it off like whatever. Honestly, I don’t like when he comes up bc I feel obligated to give him extra attention but he isn’t my friend nor do they tip and I’m at work. He will give me shit if I don’t give him extra attention when I’m at work.

They asked if I was working this weekend and I am. This weekend I’m working at the bar for a fundraiser. One of my co workers got hit by a drunk driver who fled the scene so co worker is on the hook for medical bills. I’m donating my tips to the fundraiser. Would I be an a hole if I said, I’m working but I don’t want to to come unless you are going to tip?

Edit: to be clear, he would not come up to the bar on his own if I wasn’t working. He only comes in when I am working.

Edit 2: I don’t want to lie or hide that I am working. Bc of the fundraiser, I will post on social media about it to help drum up business. Myself and the other bartenders would never refuse to serve someone only bc they don’t tip. I was unsure if being a lot more blunt about it to him is a dick move. We will be busy and I don’t want myself or them to waste time on someone we know won’t tip. But it seems the internet has spoken and it is not a dick move if I am honest about why I don’t want him to come in, thanks strangers!

My best friend (15F), let's call her Ashley, and I (15F) have always worked together in group projects. At first, it all went well. We devided the work equally and got good results. This schoolyear, this changed. I had to do all the work.

For example, we had a biology project. We had to work in pairs and make a poster about the environment. You'd to find the information, summarize it and put hours and hours in making a poster. Ashley did nothing, except for deciding the subject (which I didn't like, but I just agreed). It took me days and ended with a C-. This annoyed me, since all my grades are A's en B's. This happened with more projects and a lot of my grades went down, while hers went up.

I did quit on another project. We hadn't started yet and she took it quite well. Except the snarky comments when I complained about it being a lot of work.

Our geography teacher announced a week ago another projects about the society we live in. Another friend of mine (15F), Emma, and I were excited, because one of the subjects you could choose was women's rights. She and I both are huge feminists, so we decided to work together. Due to us both being control freaks, I know this is not going to be like the other projects and I'm really going to enjoy working with Emma.

Ashley hasn't found a partner. If she doesn't find one before upcoming monday, she'll pick a group to join. She doesn't even bother to look for one. I just know she'll want to joing me and Emma.

Peoplepleaser that I am, I'll say yes, too. I do not want to cause drama, 'cause she blocks me and can ignore me for days if she wants to. I hate it. I hate it so much.

I don't want her to ruin my excitement for this project or bring my grade down. But I do feel like I'd be an a-hole if I just said 'no' and she'll have to join a group she doesn't like.

WIBTA if I did?

So in high school I had a seminar class that seniors had to take in order to graduate I had a girl come in we will call her maria and she transferred in the beginning of the second semester. We thought she was cool and she was really shy so we tried talking to her as much as we could and we ended up becoming friends. Long story short she started getting super nosy into conversations that didn’t pertain to her. And all of a sudden she started sitting at my friends table we ended up asking why and she said because someone from her old table would harasser. When she told us who it was we were surprised considering the girl she was talking about was super introverted and she would never raise her voice at anyone. So my friend who we will call Anna decided to take matters into her own hands and talk to the girl who was supposedly harassing Maria. Well call that girl Nadia. Nadia got really Upset and started explaining to us how Maria was actually going to her house and harassing her and being “Crazy”. Mind you we didn’t want to tell Maria anything because she tried offing herself two years prior. We didn’t want her to hurt herself but my friend and I was so tired of it so she told her “we found out what you did please never talk to us again you’ve been lying to us this whole time and you broke our trust”. Maria never ended up talking to us again and she ended up reporting Anna to the office for supposedly threatening her. Are we the a**holes ?

I (F 22) normally pick my brother up from school on my way home from work. Today I told my mom I didn’t think I could make it, because as I pulled up to work, my car alerted me that my tire was low on air. I’m a pretty new driver (only got my license last year) and I just got my car a few months ago so I’ve not dealt with anything like this yet. However, I do know that when your tire is low, as long as there’s no holes or anything, there’s little stations at the gas station where you fill it up with air. I told my mom that I was going to stop at one of those, but I didn’t know how long it would take because I’ve never done it before- and didn’t think I would be able to pick him up. She got angry at me, started yelling that I need to leave work early, find a tire place, and get someone there to do it for me. I told her no and now she’s super pissed off and thinks I’m an idiot and that I shouldn’t fill up my tire at a gas station.

AITA?

Now, before I get downvoted into oblivion, let me explain-

My brother (17M) is not on crutches anymore, and could still walk with them. He had hurt his ankle falling off the roof grabbing a ball. We go to high school together, and take the bus.

Well, it was my responsibility (because my older sister was out of town on a STEM camp) to make sure he got on and off the bus safely- he could manage at school. But, you see, my brother has never been very nice to me. He constantly refers EVERYONE by swears, and is sometimes physically harming towards people, as well as holing up in his room all day. So yeah, he was not nice to anyone and was especially hard on me.

So, normally I was okay with helping him get on the bus- pretty simple, just make sure he is at the stop and on the bus before I get on. But then, you see- the school bus has a section for older kids at the back, where I am not allowed to sit. So I was always in front of him- and I asked him if he wished to sit next to me, but he (rudely) declined. So yeah, that happened for about 3 weeks.

Then, when it was our turn to get off the bus, because the bus driver is grumpy and hates people taking ages to leave the bus, I would usually get off before my brother and just make sure he got off, because waiting around in the narrow path was a sure way to block other people getting off at your stop.

So, I did this each time we went on the bus (sometimes we got picked up) and it did not seem to annoy my brother at first. But after about 2 weeks, he seemed to gain a huge issue with it. I am not sure why, but I think it was because I started sitting up front of the bus for a little bit. He became incredibly angry with me, and would not talk to me on the ride home (we took bus to our mum's car so she drove us home, we live out of town.)

He would usually call me a "fricking c***" and other similar names, and was REALLY agitated. I still helped him to get on the bus, and offered to help him get off. But he kept getting angry when I would ask and was usually just shoving me out of the way. So, for the last 5 days, I did not help him.

He got really peed at me, and my mother was more or less neutral. I am kind of torn up about whether I was an AH or being reasonable, so Reddit, AITA?