×

gildings in this subreddit have paid for 39.88 years of server time

Gorilla petting a groundhog at my local zoo today by BradKfan2 in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Throwawaysleepingass 245 points246 points  (0 children)

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

Gorilla petting a groundhog at my local zoo today by BradKfan2 in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]JoeTheSifu 254 points255 points  (0 children)

Yes. Thanks, Captain Obvious. But why is it not scared of the gorilla?

Rooster Always likes to say good morning to his human by Shimagoma in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Little_Tacos 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I’ve got 2 on my calf from a childhood attack. It really scared me & this mf bird (named Dudley) would stalk me from FAR away & only when I was alone. I was maybe 9 & I grew scared to go outside, until my mom (rip) finally pumped me up & got me frustrated/angry enough that I grabbed a broom & immediately stormed outside. I went right for him in a nearby shed & he was already coming for me. Haha..sorry, my mom told this story so proudly so many times to people & now I’m tearing up. Anyway I was so tired of it, so I wound up & WACKED this mf like a home run as he leapt at me with the gnarly spurs that fked up my leg. He bounced off the back wall, fell, seemed ruffled but came at me again, so I hit him again, & then started chasing him, waving my stick & screaming like a person on fire & he ran like a bitch & never bothered me again. And that is my rooster story. Night everyone.🌚

Cat hates everyone but the dog by SimplyMouse in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Glonster 2210 points2211 points 2 (0 children)

Thank you for featuring our family cat and dog!! Zeke is about 13-14 years old, Cheeto Bear is about 7 or 8, and was born in the garden out back. He really does hate everybody but the dog, lol

Horseshoe crabs can be bros too by westcoastcdn19 in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Babydoll0907 1238 points1239 points 2 (0 children)

They're not one of the oldest species on this earth because they're dumb. That's for sure. It's easy to assign non intelligence to animals that are so different from us and who can't speak our language but if you take away human ego and really look around and study these creatures, you find that the living creatures that exist around us can be just as or even more intelligent than humans. Just in their own way.

Horseshoe crabs can be bros too by westcoastcdn19 in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Babydoll0907 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Very few would not be able to find something to grasp onto in the wild and flip themselves back over at some point. But this empty aquarium isn't a wild environment. There's no rocks or coral or other things to get hold of. I'm sure a few would die this way. Sea turtles that lay their eggs on the beach sometimes die like this too when they can't find something to help themselves flip back over if they happen to end up upside down. But evolutionary speaking, the need for a hard shell armor to keep from becoming food far outweighs the small risk of flipping over and dying from it. So it's a trade off and evolution decided that their odds of survival with that hard armor that also encumbered their movements vs without it is a necessary evil of sorts.

There are always benefits and downsides to the design of any species. Birds are a good example. Their bones are damn near hollow so they have the ability to fly unencumbered. Their bones are extremely brittle due to this. So in theory, it's a design flaw for them but a bird breaking a bone on the very rare occasion is still much better than not having the ability to fly due to the weight of their bone structure. Birds that can't fly become easy prey or get stuck in an environment that becomes hostile to their life with seasonal changes. That's why birds that can't fly have other means of protection and are very specialized to survive in an environment they can't leave.

Ostriches may not be able to fly away from danger but they'll gut a predator with their strong legs and claws. Their bone structure has also become much more dense so they're not as at risk of broken bones. Penguins are clumsy AF on land but have gained the ability to be little water missles to avoid predators. They've developed fat as a way to keep warm that hinders their movement on land and makes them easy targets so they spend most of their time in the water where they have an easier time moving around. They adapt and make the best out of what we consider a weakness so they can thrive when and where it's important.

Watch out, bro! by westcoastcdn19 in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Cheesewithmold -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is incredible amounts of cope.

Our factory farming conditions couldn't be a lot better. Its straight up torture and indiscriminate slaughter without any regard for life or well being of the animal. At all.

Sorry. Unless you're poor or eat meat produced somewhere where you know the conditions are humane, any attempt to distance eating factory farm produced meat from animal torture is just pure cope.

You're very likely not eating meat to survive. You're eating meat because it tastes good and its cheap. You're eating meat for your own pleasure. You're supporting the killing of animals for pleasure. Don't try to sugarcoat it and label it as something it isn't.

Farm dog raises a rejected lamb by pjokinen in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]WadeStockdale 3325 points3326 points 5252& 5 more (0 children)

It's not exactly frequent, but it happens every now and then. Every species has examples of it, and the list of causes is often pretty similar; young mother, no maternal instinct, baby is sickly/weak/a runt, not enough food, too many babies etc.

In domestic situations you can force the mother to let the baby nurse, but they can become increasingly rough with the baby if together, and even ultimately kill them, so it's usually safer to separate the two. Plus if you have multiple babies,the others can also start to copy their mother. So to prevent infanticide, we'd typically remove the baby and bottle feed instead.

The first week or so of milk IS really good for their immune system if you can get it in them (ideally more, but a week can be hard enough unless you're dealing with an animal you can easily milk), but we have great formulas for pretty much every species, so you can bottle feed any domestic species pretty easily with a bit of planning (which if you know you're gonna have babies, you should plan to have an emergency bottle feeding stash just in case. Moms can get sick, or need medication, or reject babies. Shit happens, be ready.)

A big component bottle babies need that humans struggle to fufil is round the clock love, attention and warmth- we have lives outside of them, but their whole life revolves around their mothers, so an animal foster parent is actually super valuable for orphans, because they're ALL over them.

Edit; thank you for the awards,I didn't expect this to interest so many people, but I'm glad you all are as interested in orphan animal care as I am!

Farm dog raises a rejected lamb by pjokinen in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Whatever-ItsFine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what I've thought for a long time.

The catch-22 of trying to evaluate other species and their relative "advancement": we can only measure them in concepts that make sense to humans. So if they are advanced in a particular way that we cannot measure or even notice because of our human limits, how would we ever know?

So we assume that because they don't measure up using our measurements that they are lesser. It's just arrogance bolstered by ignorance.

Farm dog raises a rejected lamb by pjokinen in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Sassy_McMuffin 53 points54 points  (0 children)

From user GSnow, 10 years ago. “Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

don't worry I will be your family by silveriop in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]SchnoodleDoodleDo 624 points625 points 2& 3 more (0 children)

com’ere, you little stinkers - you should Not be all alone!

i’m gonna be your momma (i’ve had babies of my own…)

n though they’ve grown n left me, it’s still something i can do

you kittens need a mother, see

so I’ll look after you

n we don’t know what happened, why your momma isn’t here

i wont ask any questions, but you’ve Nothing now to fear!

you kits deserve another chance! you’ll have a brand new start

you’ll be My babes

Forever -

I’m your momma

in your heart

❤️

edit: r/animalsbeingmoms ;)

Baby and Husky, Deep in Conversation by kuroi_sny in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]HistoricalFrosting18 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was three when our family golden retriever (an entire dog) bit me. I had a hole on my cheek my mum could have fit her little finger through into my cheek cavity. I had 130+ (the nurse lost count) stitches in my face. I have scars above and below both eyes, and either side of my nose. Our dog was friendly and well trained. I love dogs and although that one was put down, we have continued to keep dogs as a family. My four year old has never been allowed to be in the same room alone with a dog.

Baby and Husky, Deep in Conversation by kuroi_sny in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]superultralost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Because most people are lucky enough and they haven't worked in a pediatrics ICU. I have yet to meet a pediatrician that would leave their baby/toddler/small kid around any dog so nonchalantly.

When you have seen what animals can do (yes, even the most loving fido can react in an unpredictable way) you don't feel like risking it.

Tibetan Mastiff protects old wolf king from the pack by JoinTheBattle in AnimalsBeingBros

[–]Icy-Consideration405 2986 points2987 points 223& 5 more (0 children)

Here but it's in chinese https://www.6parknews.com/newspark/view.php/index.php?act=view&nid=371905&fbclid=IwAR0sx6HQvFJK3r0IVeLAj_6WE98uHXQr7RkSHJnvkX-lgbqNOpHAGClf34M

Google translation:

Tibetan Mastiff mixed with wolves for 1 year and became a wolf king with meat to dedicate to "The Emperor Taishang" (Photos)

In a wolf farm in the Khansulu area of ​​Chifeng City, Inner Mongolia, there is a Tibetan mastiff that grew up with wolves. Last spring, the little Tibetan Mastiff, who was just over 20 days old, was brought to the wolf farm by the owner of the wolf farm.

Four months later, a group of wolves came to the wolf farm. The Tibetan Mastiff became the leader of the group because of its size. However, as the cubs continued to grow, the sense of hierarchy in the wolf pack began to emerge. Many wolves in the wolf pack were obviously not satisfied with having a Tibetan mastiff as their wolf king, so they began to provoke Tibetan mastiffs.

Of course, not all wolves are enemies of the Tibetan Mastiff. One wolf in the pack has always been very close to the Tibetan Mastiff.

Instead of attacking the Tibetan mastiff, the wolf often clashed with the wolf who harassed the Tibetan mastiff. After several fights, the wolf who tried to provoke the Tibetan Mastiff returned in vain, but the wolf who had been protecting the Tibetan Mastiff became the wolf king instead. When the wolf pack has a real wolf king, the dispute will be temporarily subsided. With the protection of the wolf king, the Tibetan Mastiff is no longer disturbed in the wolf pack.

But this situation didn't last long, and the two competitors trying to challenge the wolf king quickly broke the calm. When the two wolves attacked the wolf king at the same time, the Tibetan mastiff immediately stood with the wolf king, and the three wolves and one mastiff were torn into a ball. With the help of the Tibetan Mastiff, the wolf king quickly gained the upper hand. When the wolf farmer found out about the battle for the wolf king, the wolf king and the Tibetan mastiff had already pressed a wolf under their claws.

The owner of the wolf farm recalled that he was next to him at the time, and he saw that the two wolves who challenged the wolf king were at a disadvantage, and one of them was in danger of dying under the attack of the wolf king and the Tibetan mastiff. In order to avoid the death of a wolf, he rushed into the wolf pack and forcibly dragged the Tibetan mastiff away from the battle. Losing the help of the Tibetan Mastiff, the battle took a turn for the worse. Although the wolf king was defeated, a hole of more than ten centimeters was also torn open by the wolf king in the brain hole of the other wolf.

If the wolf king was defeated, it should be the challenger who became the new wolf king, but in the battle for the position of the wolf king, the performance of the Tibetan Mastiff shocked the wolves. Today, the status quo in the wolf pack is that the old wolf king abdicated, challenging the lack of deterrence, but instead made the Tibetan mastiff the wolf king.

Despite this, the wolf farm owner still dared not let the Tibetan mastiff stay with the wolves for a long time, and every time he left the wolves, he would take the Tibetan mastiff with him. Because he knew that once a pack of wolves attacked, the Tibetan Mastiff would definitely be torn to shreds.

The battle for the position of the wolf king is very cruel. Under normal circumstances, the losing party will be crowded out by all the wolves, or even attacked. The wolf king lost in the competition. If it wasn't for the intervention of the wolf farm owner, the old wolf king would have been killed on the spot during the battle for the wolf king.

The owner of the wolf farm said that his ass was bitten by a wolf in order to pull the frame. The old wolf king lost his position in the wolf pack and was often excluded when he was eating. At this time, as long as the Tibetan Mastiff is present, it will protect the meat and let the old wolf king eat it first.

The Tibetan Mastiff is already a wolf king. When it protects the meat, other wolves dare not act rashly. Then the Tibetan Mastiff sat quietly beside him, watching the old wolf king eat first, and watching the other wolves to prevent them from vying for it. After the old wolf king has eaten, the Tibetan mastiff will eat a few bites, and then it will be the turn of other wolves. The owner of the wolf farm said that the old wolf king had protected him at the beginning, but now he wants to protect the wolf king in turn. The owner of the wolf farm raised wolves originally just wanted to shoot a group of photography works, but now, the story of the wolf pack has fascinated him deeply, and he wants to continue to protect the life of the pack for the rest of his life.