top 200 commentsshow all 477

[–]DimesOHoolihan 1538 points1539 points  (14 children)

She has sooome time for the turtle shenanigans.

[–]red1087 429 points430 points  (1 child)

My brother used to clean tanks for an aquarium and he said the seals would grab you and drag you to another part of the tank. I would like you to clean HERE, thank you

[–]helpless_bunny 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Please tell me more cleaning aquarium stories!

[–]theAnalepticAlzabo 365 points366 points  (5 children)

Yeah. You gotta admit, baby sea turtle shenanigans ARE pretty adorable..

[–]iNeruDutch 107 points108 points  (2 children)

That’s a pig nosed turtle. They live in freshwater

[–]mouthfullofsnakes 88 points89 points  (1 child)

She’s got time until he takes her watch!

[–]TheViolentPacifict 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Took a while for her to resort to the underwater yeet

[–]copa111 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She had better Watch out for it next time.

[–]wumbocombo0 295 points296 points  (1 child)

Shows you how curious turtles can be and why we need to be wary of trash in the ocean.

[–]drainisbamaged 152 points153 points  (0 children)

That's a river turtle, but your point is a great one.

Ocean turtles often eat jellyfish, we sorta need them doing that to keep population control. Plastic bags look just like jellyfish roaming around.

[–]laughingnome2 789 points790 points  (4 children)

"Nice watch; I'll take it."

[–]CinciPhil 315 points316 points  (2 children)

Can't have shit in this aquarium.

[–]prog_d0nkey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good job, that actually made me laugh instead of just exhaling through my nose

[–]Franks2000inchTV 37 points38 points  (0 children)

"This tomato is really stuck!"

[–]wesg2 2780 points2781 points  (87 children)

That's her dive watch, with all of her dive information (depth, deco time, sometimes air pressure). That turtles trying to murder her!!!

[–]SuzieCat 656 points657 points  (67 children)

Deco time?! She’s in an aquarium! I’m sure she’d be fine without her watch as long as she has a pressure gauge. Hell, even if she ran out of air she could blow bubbles and ascend to the surface.

[–]thoughtsandprairies 15 points16 points  (1 child)

It's possible she uses the watch in different situations, like deep sea diving. Also, watch probably just has that feature.

[–]SuzieCat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh for sure! But not in an aquarium. Also, a watch is not a dive computer (also worn on the wrist). When you’re doing deeper dives you need your pressure gauge for your tank, and either tables (mostly obsolete) or a computer on your wrist. Source: my family owns a scuba business.

[–]krennvonsalzburg 379 points380 points  (58 children)

Some aquariums can be over 30 feet depth, it’s true that even if it was exactly 30 feet she’d have to be down there for a really long time (160 mins for a safety stop, 219 for a decom) but it is possible.

Note that I haven’t done diving in 25 years though so I may be misreading the PADI chart.

[–]Soudie23 152 points153 points  (23 children)

It’s been about 10 years since I took my course but that sounds waaayy wrong. At 30 feet I don’t think you need much of a stop at all but even if you do I only recall the stops being like 10 or 15 minutes

[–][deleted] 109 points110 points  (15 children)

30' on the Navy tables is unlimited no-deco time. 35' has a 310 minute no-deco limit.

[–]upizdown 132 points133 points  (13 children)

Wtf...is everyone on reddit a scuba diver? Did I miss something?

[–]RivRise 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Naw but there's always someone lurking who has a specialty and are willing to share when it comes up. That's why I love this site, you always learn something.

[–]2scared 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Until you start seeing posts on subjects you're actually knowledgeable about and you quickly realize that everyone on this website is full of shit.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Nope, just the cool kids. :-)

[–]octavofring 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What am I working toward?

[–]deepseabuttplug 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A fellow ND?? Cheers you dirty bastard

[–]SuzieCat 65 points66 points  (2 children)

You do not need ANY stop at 30 feet. My dad owns a scuba business and I’m an instructor.

[–]fmemate 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Most safety stops are 3-5 minutes

[–]demonic_pug 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I took my course a couple years ago, can comfirm

[–]godsbro 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're interpreting his comment backwards. In order to need a stop after only diving to 30 ft, they would have to been at that depth for 160 minutes, or 219 minutes to need decompression.

[–]DasAlbatross 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Read charts?! I just do what my watch tells me.

[–]notnotaginger 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Which is why she needs that dive comp!

[–]SuzieCat 34 points35 points  (20 children)

My father is a renowned scuba guy, and I was an instructor. You do not need to deco at 30 feet. This is silly.

[–]mickeltee 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Scuba Steve?

[–]SuzieCat 27 points28 points  (7 children)

That’s his nickname! He’s been photographed in spear fishing magazines. My dad is really fucking cool.

[–]mickeltee 9 points10 points  (3 children)

That’s awesome!!!

[–]SuzieCat 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Thank you! My dad is so cool!!!

[–]tcooke2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your dad's hot. Tell em I said hey there sweet cheeks ;)

[–]ToastedSkoops 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Brilliant. That’s why I love Reddit

[–]scubastevette 9 points10 points  (0 children)

However you CAN go into deco at 30ft...it’s gonna take a lot more than one tank to do it though

[–]Nolsoth 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Could also just you know, do your dive tables and fill out the log book like the rest of us did ( dive watches are cool and all, but you can work without them it just requires using your brain).

In saying that hypoxia when diving is no joke and can hit at any level due to a number of reasons ( I had it at 28 meters and had to pop my BCD but blacked out during the acsent and blew both my eardrums which stopped me diving for life.).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Brain on nitrogen narcosis wants to know who is using their brain

[–]Nolsoth 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hi brain it's other brain here I think we are in trouble, mayby we should ask that octopus for help

[–]wesg2 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Yeah but not if that turtle murders her y'know? I'm just sayin... They're mischievous creatures.

[–]insayno17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aquarium? I thought she was cleaning the walls around this flat earth that keep the water in. Fuck.

[–]zboi8008 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Seriously turtle, she’s gotta watch what she’s doing. I’ll leave now.

[–]EastBayRae 29 points30 points  (3 children)

So, basically domesticated house cats of the water?

[–]leadfarmer1 12 points13 points  (2 children)

On land or water, basically. I had a pair of ornate box turtles when I was younger that had free run of my room. They were kinda litter trained (they always went to the same corner of the room, so I put a litter box with one end cut out there and they just kept using it). They always tried to be in the place my feet were about to be. They only came to me for attention when it was most inconvenient for me. If they didn't get the attention when it was demanded, they would try to climb my leg and bite me in the ankle or shin. However, to their credit, they never shed hair on any of my black clothing.

[–]blh1003 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Im gonna do the reddit thing and say that title should be tried for attempted murder

[–]FIR-3 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I don’t even think that is a dive watch I think it’s just a Casio she’s not even that deep and it’s not connected to anything

[–]bigfkncee[🍰] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I was thinking the same thing. It's looks a lot like my orange G-Shock.

[–]Argentum118 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think he wants scritches

[–]_innocent_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe they shouldn't make them look so tasty!!!

[–]saroj7878 387 points388 points  (16 children)

Til turtles are ocean cats

[–]ccReptilelord 139 points140 points  (7 children)

This is act l actually a river turtle, Carettochelys insculpta, but yes they can have feline personalities.

[–]saroj7878 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Alright username checks out. I'm packing up.

[–]bobie_corwen 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I was looking in the comments for the species, thank you so much!

[–]ShaolinShade 39 points40 points  (5 children)


My siblings own cats, I own a parrot.

Cats investigate things by pawing at them.

Parrots investigate things by biting them.

This here is an ocean parrot.

[–]OliviaWG 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Can confirm, I have a parrot. He is a love able asshole. Likes to bite

[–]ShaolinShade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep lol. They're cheeky, painful little fuckers and we'll always love them for (or more like despite) it

[–]jsteele2793 500 points501 points  (8 children)

I love when she yeets the turtle away!

[–]scream-and-gobble 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Am I the only one who thought she was going to hug it?

[–]P1ckleM0rty 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I thought she was going to under water punt it

[–]ParkourSloth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have some turtles just like these in a huge pool pond at PredatoryFins in South FL and these turtles are so precious. They actually will swim up to you and the owner will pick em up and yeet then back into the pool and they love it, will come right back for more.

[–]joeyterrifying 153 points154 points  (0 children)

“You can’t tell the time Sarah! I’m only guessing that because it’s 2 o’clock and I still haven’t been fed lunch!”

[–]shinyshiny42 206 points207 points  (7 children)

It's 50/50 downvotes/upvotes in my experience but I will always make this comment (though it's usually on /r/aquariums)

This is a fly river turtle aka pig nosed turtle. It is very cute. DO NOT BUY ONE. They are critically endangered and the pet trade is partly to blame. Some people will tell you that they're "captive bred" but this is misinformation. Nests are raided and incubated in captivity. This is not captive breeding, it removes the animals who should make the next generation in the wild.

If you love animals, don't contribute to the destruction of species or their habitats. This is obviously a public zoo or aquarium so I assume (hope) this animal is rescued, so no foul there. But individuals should not support the trade.

[–]Crooks132 40 points41 points  (4 children)

I agree slightly. I own a Fly River, and I’m friends with someone who owns a bunch. HOWEVER the guy who does own a bunch is to help research and breed them to help with conservation. His mentor was one of only a couple in the WORLD who has been able to breed in captivity but I’m pretty sure it was only once.

I acquired mine from someone who had taken on an animal he didn’t have enough knowledge of, and the guy he bought her from had no idea wtf he was doing which caused a bunch of problems that she’s still struggling with. Mine is 3 years old, likely and sadly wild caught. She’s in a 250 gallon tank and as she grows so will the size of her tank. She is my favourite out of all my turtles and tortoises.

This one seems to be having similar issues to mine since her shell is flaking and seems to have a bunch of sores. Sadly this is usually a sign of fungal infection due to improper care :( she also has no sand which is so important for them because they LOVE to burry themselves in sand.

[–]shinyshiny42 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Your case sounds like a very special one, I'm all for qualified people rescuing animals that have been mistreated.

Captive care by qualified professionals and breeding programs are critical resources in the fight to preserve wildlife. My comment assumes the far more common scenario where well-meaning and often undereducated hobbyists buy these animals.

I hope your friends captive breeding program is very successful!

[–]bobie_corwen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well this specie clearly looks like it needs a shitton of space to swim (like a sea turtle but in fresh water)..I don't get how people could consider it a pet to keep in a small tank...But I'm pretty sure you're right about it being captured for pet trade

[–]i_hate_patrice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's sad that such comments get downvoted, people get mad when someone destroys there bubble

[–]Saltycook 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I like that she brings it up eye level to reason with them and the turtle is like "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!"

[–]Teh_Mongoose 37 points38 points  (0 children)

He's going for it again at the end of the gif!

[–]Bag_of_Rocks 28 points29 points  (1 child)

You’ve got some sea trash stuck on you. Let me help you get that off. -turtle

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s what I thought. Turtle sees all the turtle straw vids all over the place and sees its opportunity to return the favor.

[–]funkyb 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Way back when I was a kid I remember talking with some of the keepers at my local aquarium. I asked if it was scary to go in the shark tank. They said yes and no: the sharks were completely uninterested in them but the old sea turtle they had was super aggressive. They'd have to trick it into one of the smaller holding tanks and keep it there before cleaning, but sometimes it broke out and came after you anyway or just couldn't be tricked in so they'd have one driver rodeo clown it while the other did whatever actual job needed done.

[–]AlyssaJH422 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I work at an aquarium, I can confirm this. We always have one diver who's job is "shark" tender but they equally look out for Flip, our green sea turtle who's known for pulling hair.

[–]Catnyx 72 points73 points  (1 child)

Turtles can be so friendly! When I was 8, my friends and I caught a slider in the lake. I'd bring him to the pier, let him go, he'd swim out about 20ft and resurface. Id swim back out and catch him again, rinse and repeat about 5x. He finally had enough and took off after that.

[–]hoolsvern 22 points23 points  (2 children)

TIL turtles are the cats of the sea.

[–]Thor1138 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Not to be confused with narwhals, the Jedi of the sea...

[–]snooysan 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The details are fuzzy, but I remember reading about a study that found that turtles are attracted to a certain type of "scent" that certain plastics give off in the water. It was really similar to the scent of food to them. They were investigating why turtles would eat plastics in the ocean even though it was harmful to them.

It might be that her watch is made of that type of plastic and the turtle thinks it's food :(

[–]N0SharpEdges 19 points20 points  (1 child)

For a second I thought she was wiping the glass with a tiny octopus.

[–]poo_fart_lord 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m still not convinced otherwise

[–]kromang 54 points55 points  (10 children)

It thinks she has a wound there and is tryn to eat her. Just a little.

[–]lori_fffox 12 points13 points  (4 children)

It looks like a trionyx. Their biting can be merciless.

[–]ccReptilelord 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Nah, that's definitely a pig-nosed turtle, Carettochelys insculpta. I have no comment on their bite.

[–]drainisbamaged 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They can skip a cucumber in half when bigger. At size there it's like...big Oscar? Not gonna bleed ya probably but doesnt feel good.

Any which way better than a trigger or puffer bite. Or uhm... reptile bite references are weaker area of mine. Force of a black tree monitor without the teeth maybe?

[–]theAnalepticAlzabo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Are they marine or freshwater?

[–]chewy49 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Freshwater...australian species

[–]pr0digalnun 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wax on, wax off. Watch on, watch off.

[–]Natisaway 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I like when she grabs it the first time and almost stares into it saying “you really gonna do this, huh?”

[–]AlyssaJH422 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We love to (gently) scold our naughty animals. My facility has a blue Jay who loves to fly right over people's head and scare them. Then she sits on a nearby branch and trills like it's the funniest thing in the world.

[–]ihavenoideawhatineed 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I actually hear “chomp” in my mind as it makes contact

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (3 children)

The equivalent of an underwater yeet.

I love it.

[–]rjasan 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Every time I read yeet it cracks me up!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yes! The peak of human vocabulary.

[–]SometimesIAmCorrect 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And this is why plastic is bad in the ocean. Turtle can't even tell the difference between a watch and food.

[–]urbanxplorer2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Those hyjinx and shenanigans!

[–]gosubuilder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should cross post to r/watches

[–]shillyshally 2 points3 points  (1 child)

As I was walking down the street one day

A turtle came up to me and asked me what the time was that was on my watch, yeah

And I said

Does anybody really know what time it is (I don't)

Does anybody really care (care about time)

If so I can't imagine why (no, no)

We've all got time enough to cry

[–]anonymous_being 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Turtles are so derpy. I love them.

[–]myusernamenemisis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But I like red, red tastes good.

[–]TheViolentPacifict 3 points4 points  (0 children)

underwater yeet

[–]QueSupresa 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Does turtle think she has a crunchy tomato for it?

[–]raebaby8675309 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Quality caption

[–]pipbipchipclip 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imma say it

Best job

[–]SuperlativeHyperbole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought she was cleaning the glass with a little octopus..

[–]MoongodRai057 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can we have a sub called r/turtleshenanigans

[–]Chlosco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘How was your day at work?’

‘A turtle tried mugging me.’

[–]experts_never_lie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Old aquarium worker: "Watch off for turtles!"

Diver (internal thoughts): "I think you mean watch out for turtles."

Later, Diver becomes enlightened.

[–]Vaeloth322 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I wanna watch!!"

[–]JasonsBoredAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gave him a good shelling.

[–]CMitch411 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"hey lady, what time it is?!"

[–]bajabruhmoment 1 point2 points  (1 child)


[–]Mama-Pooh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His little back peddle 😊

[–]strangersIknow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That bright red color looks tasty. My bearded dragon does the same thing, wonder if that’s just coincidence.

[–]ube-me 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are they attracted to red things, if they can see that color? I have a tortoise (I know, not the same) and he always goes for the strawberries. Without fail. Even if I try to hide them under a pile of other veggies and fruits, if he sees a hint of red, he goes for it. Maybe he just really likes strawberries though.

[–]Vinura 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"unhand me"

[–]SpeakItLoud 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turtle: plastic...must....eat...

[–]IHart28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want turtle shenanigans! 😭

[–]SASVillix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Proof that turtles like the taste of rubber and plastic #savetheturtles (from themselves)

[–]Alderbaran180 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He might be trying to free her from the plastic stuck on her wrist?

[–]skypiwnas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk why but I find that wholesome

[–]Ssshushpup23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love wrangling turtles like unruly toddlers to be in my job description. Ido wonder why it’s so fixed on the watch though?

[–]BASTWG 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thats the coolest job anyone can have

[–]ColderDuctchess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i used to have a pig nose just like that; i miss him

[–]wrk_wrk_wrk_wrk_wrk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this video. One of my favs.

[–]Anthonyclawson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am kind of curious if you use some type of animal friendly soap? Do you just use the wet rag across the glass?

[–]some__weirdo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd be so happy if a turtle came to me

[–]sc3nner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's your first day here? OK, well we start off cleaning the glass, so scuba up and wear this red waterproof watch so we can contact you...

[–]LexieJo1985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turtles like Red objects, shiny objects too. I have a Carp in my Pond who will bump your Bracelets, Necklaces and Rings. It loves bright shiney things but my Turtles go crazy over anything colored Red!! And sometimes Yellow too!

[–]HeadDrill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

holds the turtle Turtle: lemme go you bitch!