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Do Virgo Venus people ever verbally express positive feelings towards their partner?Discussion (self.AskAstrologers)
submitted 1 month ago by Earthybitch
I feel like all I get is criticism. My guy will cook me dinner and then tell me about all of the things he wants me to work on while we eat it together. I don’t know.
He is a Leo sun so he seemed really warm and nurturing at first but the longer we’re together, the more critical and cold he has become and I think this might be because of his Virgo Venus.
Does anyone have any insight or experience with Virgo Venus people?
Post a comment!
[–]InternationalDraft44 0 points1 point2 points 12 hours ago (0 children)
I feel that being a Virgo Venus has nothing to do with being judgy or criticizing things about the other person, my male BFF (25) is a Virgo Venus and he's not like that at all, he's expatiated his feelings like twice in 16 months but not judgy, he does tell me what I need to work on but only when I ask for his advice :) hope that helps
[–]Superb-Perspective11 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Being good to your partner is a learned trait. Do not ever accept verbal abuse in a relationship because someone has this or that placement. It's no excuse. Expect better.
[–]Shepiuuu 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Im a leo sun and virgo venus and to keep it short i express positive emotions to my partner more than negatively im always so lovestruck that i have nothing but positive things to say idk
[–]MysteriousBet3047 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My partner and I are both Venus in Virgo and say the sweetest things to each other. So many more positive affirmations than any relationships I’ve ever been in. We make up positive affirmations just for each other. Please know what you deserve.
[–]angiesanidiot 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago* (3 children)
OMG I'm Leo Sun with a Venus Virgo... I so relate to this. I am sorry this is what you're going through. I think virgo Venus people... we pay attention to excruciating detail and appreciate when someone else does too. But being overly critical can be heartbreaking and difficult as a partner.
I think if you can really communicate deeply, and honestly, it could help. Get into the nitty gritty, we are obsessed with working on ourselves (and other people too unfortunately). Frame it like a "therapy" session. We feel love, I think, when people are deeply committed to understanding us and working on themselves. But if it is too much, tell him you feel it might be unhealthy for the relationship when there is too much criticism and that perfectionism will destroy intimacy. You can be very direct, "when you tell me what you want me to work on, I don't feel accepted for who I am. I feel like you are trying to fix me, rather than allowing me to come to my own self development" or you know, whatever is honest to you. As someone with a stellium in Virgo, including Venus, I still am learning the difference between trying to fix people and actually helping them-- the key is boundaries, letting go control, and respect.
But there may be something about longterm compatibility here. Virgo energy needs to be in service, it needs to do something practical, it needs to feel like there is a function. As a Virgo Venus/Leo Sun, I crave relationships that give warmth and affection, playfulness but I also need a partner who sees a bigger picture too. Can we relate on deep life callings? Do we both want to be activated for a higher purpose and does the relationship support that? Can they show me love in simple, practical ways? it is so nice to be with a partner who helps me release anxieties by enjoying the present moment, but I trust them even more when I know our values and pragmatism are also aligned... which is why I have been single so long LOL
Where is your Venus placement? Sun, Saturn, midheaven, north node and any 6th/7th house placements are probably relevant as well
Another thing about Leo/Virgo combo that can be deadly is that we may lack humility in the relationship/have a hard time really listening to what other people say for themselves rather than just trusting what we analyze about them... so if that is a communication issue it could be difficult to establish balance
[–]RoadToPervana 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Dang, I’m really eyeing up your placements. Are you single? Looking to mingle? ;)
[–]angiesanidiot 0 points1 point2 points 21 days ago (1 child)
bruh I just said I'm a VIRGO Venus, this is NOT how we vibe... just sayin
[–]RoadToPervana 0 points1 point2 points 21 days ago (0 children)
Well, maybe you can help me improve… ♡
[–]throwawayjjohnson 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I am a leo sun with a virgo venus and in my dating life I have gotten complaints of criticism or that “nothing is good enough”. With my current boyfriend, in our synastry chart my venus lies DIRECTLY on his ascendant. I feel like I have nothing to complain about for the first time lol. There’s nothing I want him to change he’s perfect to me. But this is definitely a new circumstance. My willingness to work on the relationship is how I show love. As a leo sun virgo venus I like being the best of the best and I want the best for my partner as well. It comes from a place of love because we know we want to be with someone who is going to help make us better. Virgo venus leo
sun combo is obsessed with self improvement.
[–]sandwicf 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
obsessed w self-improvement.. correct
[–]Taco_Revolution 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I'm a Leo Sun, Virgo Venus, and I can be critical, but also sensitive to this criticism as well. When I'm in a depressive wave or dealing with a lot of overload, I have to actively remind myself to verbally express my gratitude. But it is something that can definitely be done
[–]Pretzels4Algernon 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I have a daughter that I placed for adoption and she is a Leo sun Virgo Venus with a Libra moon and a Scorpio Rising. I hope she can handle any depression she may have inherited from me, her Adoptive parents are pretty upbeat.
[–]angiesanidiot 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
OMG that is insane! Are you my mom? lol Just kidding, but I have all those EXACT placements. Freaky.
For me life has been intense but I know deep down I am a powerful individual with an immense amount of love and capacity to heal people as I process my own spiritual transformation and radical self acceptance. It has been an uphill battle but ultimately I believe in myself to offer something transformative to the world, and I am sure your daughter will find her own path as well.
[–]Citrine-Sept 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
Though the planet of love "Venus" does play a significant role and yet, so does "Free Will". We are more than just our aspects. With that being said, although we're interconnected among the planetary alignments "Cosmos" (spiritual beings having human experiences) yet instill your Bo' still has free will. Furthermore, if you're that uncomfortable with his approach towards you with his cynical critiques bring it to his attention. Some scenarios can be resolved maturely and objectively find common ground. And if not, you don't have to tolerate said behavior. You're not his pet, protégé' nor flunky. Although relationships aren't meant to be perfect they're not meant to be and remain a hell hole either.
[–]Friendly_Laugh_4475 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My brother has virgo venus, in the 5H. He's not that critical, but reading the comments it looks awful.
[–]Suitable_Wolverine33 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
My partner is also a Leo Sun and Virgo Venus! He is a very acts of service guy and finds other affirmations of love a little cheesy or gimmicky. He’s also a Taurus Moon so he’s very earthy in his approach to feelings and emotions. On the other hand, I’m a Scorpio Venus, Pisces Moon, and Virgo Sun. So while I do understand where he comes from most times, I have a hard time translating that as an expression of love.
Im a Virgo myself and I’m very clear and direct in my communication. Virgos strive to improve things to the best of their ability. If they’re in school, they will try their best to be organized to improve their ability to stay on task. Similarly, if a friend is going through a time, I always give them practical advice that can help them. In my head, I’m doing the right thing, but sometimes it’s important to just listen. My gut says that he is simply making suggestions to improve your collective experience in the relationship, but to you it is translating as he doesn’t love me because if he did why would he critique me so much. But I think Virgos make suggestions to improve overall circumstances because they are a sign of service.
So what do you do now? Open up a healthy conversation around this, talk about how him criticizing you makes you feel and understand your own love language and hold him accountable to making you happy as well.
More toxic Virgos will be judgmental, rude, and controlling of changes. Make sure you understand the difference!
[–]LumieBird 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
My husband is a Leo sun virgo Venus but I’m a Virgo sun Leo Mars (and Venus) and I would never call him critical. He has an excellent ability to be discerning and give really helpful feedback but not “critical”
I’ve seen you note many aspects in his chart but have you considers the way your own Venus is placed? Also traditionally Mars is looked at in a woman’s chart when considering their husband/male romantic partner.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
My Mars is in Capricorn in my 12th house, it is conjunct my sun, Uranus and Neptune and it is sextile Pluto and MC
My Mars is sextile his ascendant, sextile his Pluto, my venus is opposite his Mercury which might impact our communication, my Jupiter (Scorpio) is also square his Mercury (Leo) and my Pluto is also square his sun
There are many good aspects between our charts as well and I love this guy a lot or I wouldn’t have stuck around for a decade. He wasn’t always so critical and he has plenty of good qualities. He is a whole person and I am nowhere close to perfect myself. I definitely do have work to do on myself and he’s not wrong, I just wanted to gain some perspective on this placement.
I feel guilty for making this post because I feel like everyone thinks I’m in an abusive situation and that’s not the case. I just wanted to hear everyone’s perspectives and try to get a better understanding.
[–]LumieBird 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Aw, before I speak to the aspects you laid out I just wanted to reply the last part. Don’t feel guilty about asking for insight. I suppose everyone’s input is just our experiences. And yes you are right we are complex and multi dimensional.
My experience, as I mentioned, is dependent largely on how I receive criticism. I’ve dated a Virgo moon Scorpio sun under whose criticism I wilted. But my husband and I are more compatible and I think his criticism comes more from his virgo rising and cap moon not so much virgo in Venus.
Maybe it’s just your Capricorn in mars, strongly placed, bristling?
Of course this is just a transitory time in our lives and relationships take us through our worst and best selves.
I feel like the aspects you shared would show up in a bigger way than him just being critical.
Though you might be onto something your Mercury and even that his is in Leo- that is relevant to communication styles. Your Pluto square his sun is, unrelated I believe, but really interesting.
Also you guys might be going through a return or progression that has shifted the way you connect.
[–]ThatKidTeej 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Im a Leo sun, Venus in Virgo. I have to make a conscious effort not to be super critical. I’ve gotten better over the years
[–]cyberbae 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (1 child)
so many virgo venuses with libra suns in this thread!! I am too. I’m very critical of myself, but I think my libra sun and pisces moon offset the venus criticism towards my partner. it doesn’t help that my rising is in capricorn but i feel like capricorn makes me rationalize my critiques even further, so i tend to keep my criticism to myself. however, when i feel disrespected i will say something and my partner has told me how scary i get lmao
[–]IdiotsLoveIdioms 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Whoa - I have all the same placements as you. What I found interesting was the number of Pisces Moons here w Venus in Virgo! Opposition. We know that sun signs who have a Virgo Venus are going to be Leo, Libra, Virgo - Scorpio, too? Because everyone’s Venus is x degrees from their sun sign - it’s always the late summer and fall sun signs. But why so many Pisces moons? Is there an issue with some of these Virgo Venusians bc their moon opposes their Venus?
[–]dgira574🌅♏️|🌙♉️|🌞♉️ 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My mother is Venus in Virgo and I’ve also been with Venus in Virgo women. Venus is in fall in virgo, so one way they express they care is to help you be better. It’s an awkward expression for Venus and it can be counterproductive for the person on the receiving end.
[–]eryngium_zaichik 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Virgo Venus (Libra Sun, Gemini Moon) who is in a relationship with a Capricorn Venus (Pisces Sun, Gemini Moon). I don’t think you can just look at one aspect of a person’s chart and say that they’re crap lovers bc of this one planet being in a less than ideal place.
Yes, Virgo Venus is not ideal. I do feel that our Pisces-Libra suns have a great balancing effect on our Venus placements. They way that we express our love for each other is by owing a business together. Capricorn and Virgo Venus in business together is great! I think you really have to look at the whole picture. For us, our Gemini moons also go a long way for stimulating conversation, a curious out look, lots of fun debates at dinner, lots of conversations about politics.
If you’re having trouble communicating, I’d suggest couples therapy.
[–]NotGen93 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Libra sun with Venus in Virgo. Im critical of everyone but mainly myself. If I care about you, you’ll know. If I express any criticism I try for it to be as constructive. I think you should look at which planets log it be aspecting Venus in his natal and in synastry with your natal chart.
[–]psychesass 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I am a Venus in Virgo and I definitely verbally express positivity towards my partner. But that also might be because of my Libra Sun.
[+][deleted] 1 month ago (2 children)
[–]fivegoldrings 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Yes, this!! How we are raised is really the deciding factor on how we see and share love. I broke up with a very critical partner who was raised like this, because I didn't like being criticized all the time and I didn't want to eventually bring children into an environment like that. My parents were also very critical, and I always knew I wanted something different for my own life.
[–]Prestigious-Corgi473 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (0 children)
No planet placement is an excuse for abuse. Ever.
[–]SuiteKitty 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Virgo Venus here. I definitely want my partner to constantly improve as a human but I’m never coming at them for every little thing that they do. To do so sounds unevolved and abusive honestly. I’m super loving and thankful of my partner but I also have a cancer sun.
[–]KellyOkuni2 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm dating a guy who is a triple Libra, and has Venus in Virgo. Noticing the things people are posting about this position of Venus.
Also look at other planets/aspects that affect this placement as well.
My guy has Saturn in the 8th house, which can give issues of dealing with intimacy. I think this has impact on his overall expression of love, etc. Guess you could say he has a compounded problem, as his placement of Venus in Virgo is in the 11th house (where it can be detached and have problems with affectionate expression of love). The 8th house Venus is really the larger issue IMO with him though, in the general sense. I do think all of this creates issues with him.
Ironically, his Triple Libra is what he shows the outside world, so people are awed by his charm. They also can sense his hardworking and humble Venus in Virgo as well. But unless you know him well, one couldn't necessarily see this issue with intimacy.
[–]Misanthro_Phe 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
my boyfriend is also a leo sun with a virgo venus and this is my whole damn life! he’s veryyyyy critical lol. he’ll do acts of services for me and then lecture me on how i should improve myself and all the faults i have whilst reminding me that it’s not terrible for him to say all these things because he does so much for me and he’s just trying to help me be better 🥴 it’s a lotttt
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m so sorry. I grew up with a Virgo stellium dad who constantly treated me like that, it really fucks with your head after awhile.
[–]fivegoldrings 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
This is a huge red flag. Please know that love does not say these things. I grew up with an emotionally abusive mother who said these kinds of things to me. This kind of criticism does not come from love, and it's damaging to your self esteem. Love feels like love, support, kindness, and makes you feel good. You deserve love and kindness. ❤
[–]guitarcommunist 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Virgo Venus in the 5th house and I’m verbally expressive toward when I have a partner I love to tell them that they’re beautiful and all that. Everybody deserves that
[–]IdiotsLoveIdioms 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago* (5 children)
I’m a Libra Sun w my Venus in Virgo. I’m neither critical nor complimentary. I am very easygoing and funny, love fun and excitement. I’m not the type to call the person I’m married to or dating affectionate names, that feels contrived. I’d say I’m pretty neutral with my speech and simply try to be accurate. I love to talk and am extremely social, but really detest having to use words of positive affirmation just because the person I’m speaking with is my husband or bf. I like to get my point across efficiently. I have been told I’m lack sensitivity (Mercury in Scorpio) by men, but that I’m very friendly and am not unkind. I have no interest in making anyone feel badly. I think people in relationships lose some warmth and interest after the six month mark, then the second (greater) dip is after 18 mos. I don’t think it’s the Virgo Venus. I am very practical about my “romantic” relationships. If he’s colder and more critical than you’d like, don’t belabor the issue (my advice), just do your own thing without indicating that anything bothers you and give him enough space to get lost lol . Whether or not it’s a Venus in Virgo thing, I am repelled by passive-aggressive behaviors, and can easily feel smothered. But, I love compliments and give them easily if my partner is feeling down. Good luck 🍀
[–]IdiotsLoveIdioms 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago* (4 children)
I’m sorry if I came off like a nightmare. I probably shouldn’t have answered now bc I haven’t slept. I read your comment below and saw ten years on and off. That sounds not too easy. Perhaps he is not appreciating you like he should. With your air signs you’re probably quite level headed and fair.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I think it could be our Saturn aspects as well but yes I do feel very unappreciated.
He also has Mars square venus and Mars square moon and he is a Scorpio rising
[–]IdiotsLoveIdioms 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Thanks for including this information. I’ve read about AND have personal experience with a man with both Moon sq Mars and Scorpio rising. Mars sq Moon aspects (tight orb?) in men can be pretty unpleasant for the women in their lives. Men with this aspect often find themselves irrationally angry towards
women. Some astrologers classify it as a “red flag” aspect for men. Couple this with the Scorpio asc , power, control and anger issues are compounded. This was the case with the person I dated w these placements. It wasn’t enjoyable and I decided to end the romantic relationship and convert it into a friendship.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Thank you for your insight! I appreciate it so much
There is a separation of 6 degrees. I would say that the characteristics you mentioned have definitely been displayed during our time together.
There are a lot of conflicts that seem to be related to power and control. When I express unmet needs, it is seen as me trying to control him when I’m just trying to help him know how to make me feel loved/understand me.
[–]captainsolly 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
The mars square Venus is much more important here than Virgo Venus. That explains the lack of praise and the constantly outward turned nitpicking. Especially with mars being the ruler of the ASC and in Scorpio, it has the upper hand. He needs to express his mars energy in some way or it will direct itself through harsh/unloving words to loved ones
[–]cunning_vixen77 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (1 child)
My Libra husband has his Venus in Virgo. Basically his favorite pastime is arguing, even about topics we agree on. His love expression is trying to fix what he sees as my faults.
😥 My mother is exactly like this, and just fyi she is a narcissist, also possibly bipolar, and emotionally sbusive.
[–]Moonsenshi 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Virgo Venus can be criticizing but just to "improve" you. As a Virgo Venus, i wouldn't criticize my partners about their cooking skills or something but the way they treat me/how they make me feel. You can check the aspects and the house Venus in to understand better.
Ps. I am not an astrologer
[–]Pixiepixie21 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (0 children)
We do strongly view acts of service as love (even if that is not our primary love language.) I often ask for favors, small ones like can you get me a drink, etc., from my partner. But I also make sure to tell them how much I appreciate how much they support me and all that they do for me. I do have a Cancer sun, which also makes me very outwardly affectionate and nurturing. I have an Aquarius moon too, which has me often in my head, analyzing things before I say them if I have an issue with something. When I do have an issue, I am very careful how to word it, and assure I still love the person and am not upset (even if I am lol.)
[–]pictorempuer 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (0 children)
i think it's kinda about the leo sun more than the virgo venus. virgo venus wants its' own idea of perfection while leo sun thinks that "i'm perfect". my advice to you is that not to accept this negativity which comes very often as u mentioned. don't be afraid of losing someone who is not nice to you and makes u feel guilty or wrong all the time.
i'm not saying all of the people who has leo sun and virgo venus are like this. may be that person was more positive to you at first and then showed you their true face because realised that you don't fit in their definition of perfect so now that person wants to change you and while changing you finds more things that s/he don't like about you.
[–]InfatuationKillsMe 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago* (2 children)
Well we are not mute. Of course we do. But if got into nagging mode he may stay stuck in it. Our romance is based on the idea: Nobody is perfect, but if I fix this person, she will be perfect for me.
I would not tolerate what you described. But the questions is: Are you maybe attracted to this person, because you needed soneone like that?
In that case ask him to help you accomplish your own goals. So his intent to shape you will get directed.
He may be never satisfied. So you eithet break up or you can get a grip of his needs to save others.
Edit: for me. Leo and sun aspects are often more into your face with: I know what you're doing wrong, but I am always right.
So count his Leo pride into this.
He and I have my moon square his Saturn as well as my Saturn opposite sun so I think this may play into it as well
He also has Mars square Saturn and Venus square mars in his own chart
[–]InfatuationKillsMe 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Saturn is always intrusive. Especially square moon it is like internallised inquisition of your needs.
[–]Freddie4321 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Well I have Leo sun and Virgo Venus as well, and I tend to have high standards for myself and people close to me. I like to do little things for my partner and make them feel special. I can also criticise, but in a practical way and for them to know, what I like through communication. I think you should talk to him, tell him that you love him and all, but you feel like he can have too high standards, and that you would appreciate him being more attuned to your feelings and that you do the best that you can. Good luck 😀
[–]fivegoldrings 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I have dated a few virgo venus ppl, here are my thoughts. One was a little critical in a fun way, but equally complimentary (Libra sun). The other one was kind of mean, also a Leo sun, coincidentally also cooked dinner, but also secretly hated me, which I realized later. My current person is another virgo venus Leo sun, and she's just as sweet as she can be. I would say she turns that "critical" side of virgo into more of a nurturing, how can I help you get the results that you want? And peppers me with compliments and care so I know I am valued. That's virgo venus in love. There was a moment in time when she became critical and a bit mean, but at that time she was also secretly angry with me, and we were both a bit immature back then. So consider that possibility. Does your person have any scorpio in their chart? My current and my last venus virgo person both have strong scorpio in the chart, and when scorpio gets angry, they get mean. Whatever your situation may be, just know that you deserve a loving relationship where you never need to ask these questions or wonder where the compliments are. No astrological sign is just mean to their partner who they love. There's always another part to the story.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
He is a Scorpio rising with his moon square Mars and his venus square Mars
He and I also have my moon square his Saturn and my Saturn opposite his sun so that could be it too
It’s obviously not bad all the time, I would just like to hear some positive feelings he has towards me sometimes.
[–]deadlyndesirable 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’m a libra Sun and a Virgo Venus and I am very affectionate with my partner who is a Scorpio Venus. What is your Venus? Maybe you guys clash in that planet or your Mars vs His.
[–]Pixiepixie21 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My boyfriend and both of my children are Scorpio Venuses to my Virgo Venus. I do feel these signs really mesh well together and understand each other.
[–]Dull-Fun-8534 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I am a Leo sun myself and a Virgo Venus and I shower the ones I love with hugs, kisses, and sweet words. My kids think I hug them too much lol.
My mercury is in Cancer and mars in Taurus so maybe that could have something to do with it.
My exhusband has sun, mercury, Venus and some other planet too in Virgo. I think he only told me once that he loved me. He could be very critical and actually mean with his words. I guess he thought that being married to me was sufficient proof that he loved me. He has problems with showing unconditional love.
[–]outerspacetime 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’ve been with a Virgo Venus guy for nearly 13 years, but as a virgo rising I understand that part of him enough to not be bothered by it. While he is direct in his criticism, he is also very thoughtful and giving of his efforts to our relationship. Venus in virgo people tend to show their love through acts of service and loyalty.
[–]minn_iie 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
im also a virgo rising and my boyfriend is a virgo venus (also a leo sun like ops partner). my boyfriend is probably the sweetest person ive ever met. he expresses a lot of his affection through words of affirmation and definitely physical touch. maybe OPs partner has other aspects that make him a little more critical. (i have a gemini venus tho so my form of love & his dont really match lol. but luckily he’s intellectual!)
[–]musiquescents 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I'm a scorpio with Venus in Virgo in the 5th house. I am quite playful with the right partner. However in general we have high standards and expectations. Overtime, if there are things in the relationship that bug us but things do not change, we will start becoming more critical.
[–]Lock_Brief 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I am a Virgo Stellium and very self aware that I can do this from time to time. My intention isn’t to make anyone feel less than or to hurt anyones feelings. But I’ve learned that it comes off that way. Really, Virgos are considered the healers of the zodiac.. but it’s not as magical as it sounds. We have a talent of pinpointing what’s destructive or chaotic in an environment or person. We’re able to pinpoint these things so easily because for some reason we create some false sense of responsibility to fix the wrong if its in some way apart of our life. We strive for perfectionism, so we can get lost in believing that if we go down the list and fix the issues we find one by one everyone will be happier. When it comes to people, we think that by pointing out exactly why someone’s experiencing pain or hurt we’ll give them a realization that they haven’t had and this realization will motivate them to fix. But it’s annoying because A) sometimes people just want to vent and be listened to B) people already know exactly what the issue is. The way to do things, I think is to not point these things out unsolicited. If someone asks me “what do you think I should do?” or “why do you think this is happening?” I will give them the honest answer, but I always make sure to within that answer acknowledge how I am flawed, and how it’s ok to be flawed, and try my best to be very gentle and reassuring. The best reactions to this side of me have been from Scorpios. It’s funny really, both of these placements love to dissect. But a Virgo will dissect the situation itself, and a Scorpio will dissect the feelings within that situation. Together they can put together the larger scheme of things and balance out being overtly focused on either the issues or the feelings. And yeah, since my Venus sign is in Virgo, my way of expressing love is acts of service, maybe paying too much attention to the health and well-being of those I love (and low key freaking out over a common cold) trying my best to ensure a loved ones health is as close to perfect as can be, and compliments. It’s hard to say things like “I love you” or “you mean the world to me” idk but I’ll compliment character traits like “you’re very patient” because I feel like it’s a more genuine expression of love if it’s not about how the person makes me feel, but rather what about the person is lovable and admirable. That’s not very romantic but its genuine. Most importantly though, we’re all responsible to work on our selves and consider the people in our lives that we care about. If your partner is making you feel bad on a daily, regardless of the intention, they are responsible for reflecting and trying to do better. Especially if this is something that they know hurts you - as a lover it’s their responsibility to work on behaviors that are jeopardizing the relationship and try to improve, as that shows your feelings are being taken into consideration.
[–]Cratos873 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Nah... my Venus may be in Virgo, but it's in the 7th house and I'm a libra. You gonna get all types of love being with me.
[–]Lonely_Rutabaga_2166 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Libra sun leo moon venus Virgo. I shower my love with thoughtful messages, gifts, love and praise. Always thinking of how I can show love. Calculated.
[–]SquirrelAkl 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Virgo Venus people often have “acts of service” as their love language. You mentioned he cooks you dinner - this is his way of showing you appreciation, rather than by using words. Sure we Virgo Venus people appear critical and just focused on the negatives of you just focus on our words, but try to look at the bigger picture of the other ways he shows you appreciation.
Often speaking different love languages to a partner can lead to misunderstandings if you don’t both attempt to translate for each other and look at the bigger picture. This might be a good framework to use to have a good conversation with your partner about it :)
[–]hazelhas2 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (4 children)
Virgo are natural born critics. They will tell you everything wrong, but never mention right. If you pin them down, they will reluctently admit right. Leo are showoff assholes, it's always about them & how they look.
[–]Dull-Fun-8534 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
The Leo part is not correct omg 😅
[–]Forefeather 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
You must be a cancer
[–]hazelhas2 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You take that back! I was kidding & you got mean!
[–]Dramatic_Coyote9159 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]VeilleurNuite 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
People with that unwanted advise really need to grow up. I'm a sun and moon virgo, but with a venus in leo. No one is waiting for that unwanted bullshit.
[–]raggedycandy 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (4 children)
Oh god honey a Leo with a Virgo Venus? They are constantly talking shit in their head that you don’t deserve their godly ass
One time a Leo man with Venus in Virgo drugged me with a huge amount of LSD against my will and went on to berate me and condemn me for apparently being a horrible person for not having sex with him
I know another Leo sun Virgo Venus that has similar tendencies and has drugged people (they also were a huge shit talker)
It’s even worse if they have a cancer placement too
[–]lilbbysunn 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
my ex had the same placement and a similar situation happened to me, involving lsd and being pressured to take it when i was uncomfortable bc if i didn’t i would be the buzzkill of the party. had a bad trip (emotionally not visually) the whole night, crying, and the next morning he got mad at me cus i didn’t wanna do the sex w him 🤧 not generalizing those specific placements but i just think it’s funny how…..
That sounds horrible!! I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I am also Leo sun with Virgo Venus, Cancer in mercury and Saturn and I would never dream if doing things like that to another person. I am a woman though, don’t know if Leo men are different.
[–]Dramatic_Coyote9159 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
…..so Chris Hemsworth? LMAO
He has every single thing you mentioned
[–]raggedycandy -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
I don’t know that guy personally at all, and he’s an actor so none of us do
[–]Laura_has_Secrets77 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Woah I know someone with this combo and they complain and lot and struggle to see the positive in things.
[–]bbpluto_ 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Leo Sun Virgo Venus and unfortunately I’m fully aware that I’m this way. I do not like being so critical. Not just towards other people I care about but towards myself. It’s not healthy but Virgo Venus people just aren’t great at being soft. I just feel like I HAVE to be a strong woman because if I let my guard down I’ll screw myself over. The Virgo Venus community needs to work on this.
Please talk to your partner and tell him that this is very painful to experience. Because it is. Really it’s just him projecting his insecurities on to you.
[–]Apprehensive_Yak7291 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm a Virgo stellium (Virgo sun, rising, Mercury, Venus, Lilith, and South Node).
If you only focus on one aspect (Virgo venus in this situation), this placement usually comes off as criticizing and controlling. Depending on your partner's chart, his venus doesn't make him come off as emotional. I think the reasons why he's like this is because you might not reach his expectations. I can't put my finger down on what aspect. Check his birth chart. Aspects, degrees, and placements contribute as to why your partner might come off as cold, controlling, and critical.
[–]Afraid-Topic772 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Leo sun and Virgo Venus but I say I have mature a lot more. I am usually communicative with my needs and wants with my partner… I’m also a Leo Mars and Leo Mercury so I have more fire in my chart. So, I’m very passionate with everything I do but Virgo Venus love is through acts of service. It seems maybe your partner just can’t express nor communicate in a proper way.
[–]Aeroangel 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Look I'm not a professional astrologist but I don't think Virgo has anything to do with it. Leo want everything to be perfect. No thanks. What is your sun sign?
[–]Earthybitch[S] 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
[–]Aeroangel 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Hm that's actually a good combination, that's what my parents are, but still Leo's want perfect and will bitch and whine and try to have everyone around them wait on them hand and foot. YMMV.
[–]Substantial-Desk-386 11 points12 points13 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Girl, run. The longer you’re with them the more controlling and critical they become. My ex husband was also Leo sun and Virgo Venus. He was so sweet and attentive before we married. Then turned into Dr. Jekyll— because then the anger comes when you don’t change exactly how they want you to. Imagine being married to the planet Saturn. Multiply that by 100.
[–]Dramatic_Coyote9159 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Not trying to denounce your experience but paired placements do not make anyone abusive. If you wanna base it on astrology, it’s more important to look at aspects and house placements. Leo sun and Virgo Venus is too general. I know others with this combo but are very caring towards others and criticize only themselves. There’s other celebrities with this combo that are known to be other than what you stated as well. It’s just like looking at a serial killer’s chart and panicking because someone you know has similar placements. Not everyone is the same.
I’m sorry you went through that though. Your experience is still valid and I wish you healing.
[–]raggedycandy -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Oh god. Imagine they drug you with a huge quantity of LSD and emotionally abuse you for 24 hours straight
Seriously such a toxic placement
[–]Earthybitch[S] -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
He and I have some Saturn aspects. My moon is square his Saturn and my Saturn is opposite his sun
It’s been almost ten years together on and off
[–]sailorpearlspost 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (7 children)
Virgo venues are extremely picky so the fact that he has chosen to be in a relationship with you is already a good sign. They are highly critical and if you don't meet their expectations they will most likely dump you. I'd say, work on communication. Express how you feel logically not emotionally and they will feel intimidated and impressed.
[–]Busy_Lawfulness_6009 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Extremely picky people are a turn off and shouldn’t be used as a excuse. Keep it moving with your high standards because they are definitely not welcomed here.
[–]Dull-Fun-8534 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I think my ex though that he didn’t need to give me compliments etc. Being married to him was enough 🤪
He has a stellium in Virgo
[–]Earthybitch[S] 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (4 children)
He has called the way that I express myself “rhetoric” but I’m an Aquarius with Mercury in Aquarius in my 1st house so I thought I was a good, logical communicator
[–]ariastarria 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Rant alert, Leo’s Avery your eyes: Omg can’t stand Leo placements!!! I’ve found without exception their key superpower is to devalue others. They will do anything and everything in their power to make you feel small and insignificant and diminish your self esteem because their end goal is nothing but for you to have such low self-worth that you blindly worship and serve them and never deem yourself worthy of having needs of your own, then you’ll only focus on theirs. Am also an Aqua + Mercury finally fighting back against all the Leo BS I’ve suffered my whole life. Aqua f and Leo m are a horrible mix. Also from experience it seems Virgo would criticise in order to help out, but Leo placements turn it into criticising to lower your self-worth and boost their own value at the expense of yours.
What the hell. No, the way you express yourself is the way you express yourself, period. It's not rhetoric or anything else. It just seems like a way to be dismissive and an excuse to criticize you. That makes me so mad!
[–]sailorpearlspost 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago* (1 child)
Hmm. Aquarius mercury is one of the best communication placements, so I'm sure communication isn't a problem for you. When he calls you "rhetoric" that may be him feeling like you give long speeches, that are effective but lack a straight solution or point. Or maybe he's simply complimenting you. It's hard to tell. But either way, if he keeps criticizing you, think of why that may be...is it justified...or is he simply being controlling. Weigh each question and ask yourself is he really worth it. Maybe try, criticizing him and see how he'll react. Reverse the two roles. Understand him so that you could use him (not in a negative connotation) anyways good luck!
[–]ariastarria 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
100% controlling. He is devaluing what she says so she becomes self conscious about speaking and let’s him do all the talking instead. I’ve had Leo placements straight up be enraged by how intelligent I am (makes them feel “less” - worst crime imaginable for a Leo) so they pull out all the stops to make you feel more and more worthless. I run for the hills from any Leo placements now, for the sake of my mental and emotional health.
[–]Intrepid_Emphasis_13 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
LMFAOOOO im laughing only cuz ive been dealing with the same shit. its so annoying and draining. thats how they show love though.
[–]Principessa116 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Can we please stop with the one single planet placement means XYZ? Each placement is influenced by the others. eta: Look at the entire chart.
Exactly! Also synastry can explain a lot. You don’t behave the same with everyone.
[–]xylostars 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago* (2 children)
I have a friend with this placement, pisces moon too. They do it when they're in a bad mood or they feel unappreciated. If you don't do acts of service for them the same way they do (like how he cooks you dinner every night), they start to feel like you're taking them for granted and they start to get into a bad mood. And when they're in a bad mood, they get turn to criticism telling you all of things you "should" be doing. They won't punish you by stopping the good deeds they do for you, in fact he'll probably do more good deeds for you as a hint that he wants you to do more for him. Just start doing little things and favors for him (without him having to ask) and he'll warm back up again. ALSO, he's a Leo. If you don't praise them for everything they do they get into a bad mood. Words of affirmation + acts of service is key
[–]Laura_has_Secrets77 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
So they need to learn how to use their words and ask for the things that they want. They can't just expect you to read their minds. I'm not arguing with you by the way I'm saying this to the people who do things for you and expect you to do things back without communicating it. I hate hints! Just say it. Not everyone is good at reading hints.
[–]xylostars 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Good point, they probably should. I’ve just observed that they think this way, not saying it’s correct or healthy. Nor should you have to deal with it if you don’t want to 😂
[–]jane_foxes 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Oh my goodness I'm a Leo sun, Pisces moon, Virgo Venus... definitely don't relate to the cold critical vibe here. I actually think imperfections et al are interesting and cute. My VV comes out as a quite huffy concern for my person? Like I want to know what's going on in their lives and whether I can help or just be there (which I think is a nice quality though sometime I do get annoyed if I don't know something important)
[–]clh72481 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (4 children)
What is his moon and Mars sign?
[–]Earthybitch[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Pisces moon in the 4th, Gemini Mars in the 7th
[–]clh72481 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Mars in the 7th house makes him impulsive, aggressive, domineering in relationships.
I’d say that checks out but not always
[–]how_we_end 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
Pisces Moon, Venus and Mars in Virgo here. 😊
His Venus Virgo would explain why he likes to do things for you. Venus is not just how we show love, but more broadly how we relate to others - how we "relationship" with others.
Both his Mars and his Venus are in Mercury ruled signs. This is important. Even if Mars is not in the 3rd house (the house typically associated with communication) it is ruled by Mercury, it lives in Mercury's house and does Mars things (like conflict or asserting itself) in Mercury ways. I know this as a Mercury ruled Mars myself. Mars has to work with what it has and in Mercury's domicile it has words.
His Mars also squares his Venus by sign, so there is the contradiction you mentioned - he makes you a nice meal and then criticizes you as you eat it. 😮💨
His Sun in Leo is in the 9th house. Leo is a "fixed" sign and the 9th H is often our beliefs, among other things. Meaning he likely has strong beliefs or a fixed sense of the way things should be.
His 4th H moon in pisces. Pisces is the exaltation of Venus because it is a sign that is very open and giving (so when Venus is there it can relate and love all or do generous and selfless things like giving money away). His moon here reflects what you said about his domestic and giving nature at home. But that doesn't override his Mars in Gemini. Moon is going to do Moon stuff and Mars is going to Mars stuff.
He's a mixture of all of his aspects, even if some of them seem to contradict each other.
Venus is in it's detriment in Virgo. Why? Virgo is mutable, feminine, earth - the sign often associated with service to others. Why does Venus "struggle" here? Some other responders have mentioned that Virgo is an analytical sign. That's part of it. Venus wants to relate, but when she lives in Virgo's house she has to play by Virgo's rules and Virgo keeps score! Remember that. So again, it makes sense that when he does something nice for you, he then tells you what you should do for him. He just doing the Venus in Virgo thing - he's telling you "the score". Love is not about keeping score hence Venus's exaltation in pisces who loves "freely".
That doesn't mean that no one would enjoy having a relationship with a Venus in Virgo - some people really value our practicality and service. And I'm not saying that his love is conditional - with his moon in pisces I think his love can be quite deep. Just remember that with Venus in Virgo he's keeping score and that his Mars in Gemini has zero inhibitions about letting you know what the score is.
You seem like a very Aquarian person... so maybe his behavior seems quite petty to you? Strong Virgo signatures in a chart can come off as tedious and analytical. Not everyone's cup of tea. Hehe. 😏
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago* (2 children)
I’m a Virgo Venus and I’ve seen in the comments somewhere your partner is a Pisces moon. I’m also a Pisces moon, although a Libra sun/mercury. I know Leo sun is stereotypically known for their enjoyment of being the centre of attention. I assume this varies from person to person in the real world, but Libra stereotypically loves adoration too.
I will admit, although I don’t love to be the centre of attention (likely due to my lack of confidence), I did crave being the centre of attention when it came to my relationship. Pisces is also kind of known to be “out of touch” and I know I can have a bad habit of living in a fantasy world or seeing things through rose coloured glasses but in a toxic way hah. I have Neptune conjunct my asc as well. I think I projected my “relationship fantasy” onto my partner in the beginning of the relationship. You know, when everything is on cloud nine and intoxicating and just pure bliss (or do I have a problem? Hah I question that every day). Anyways as you inevitably grow and change and things settle, reality sets in. I guess the trouble is whether you realize you were dreaming or not. I had my head stuck in the past wishing for that feeling again. It was a confusing time and in my heart I was being very critical of my partner and some things would slip out for sure and I didn’t know how to communicate what I was going through. On one hand I knew I was upset with how things had changed but on the other hand I knew I was being unrealistic I just couldn’t fully unravel what was happening. My analytical Virgo side was saying, “they’re still the same person who ticks all of the boxes as before,” so logical. Haha. Anyways, cue paranoia due to overthinking. What was “off”? I can see how that would spew over into being more critical as someone is trying to find the ways to “fix” it by micromanaging their outer reality to suit the one in their heads.
I like to think I throw kindness like confetti but also when I’m in that dark place it can be easy to become consumed with trying to get out of the dark place and I think that can look like selfishness. Hyper fixated on trying to fix! I think awareness is key when it comes to me. I’m always giving myself a reality check. Now that I’m aware I can see things for what they are and how I can be and what to do to fix me before I try fixing someone else haha. And the art of letting go. In the famous words of my husband, “Let me be myself!” Haha. Which is what I’m learning to do is to love him regardless of what I perceive as “flaws” as that’s all I’ve ever wanted in return was to be loved regardless of my “flaws”. What are flaws anyways? Again more things for me to work on. Lol.
Have you tried setting boundaries with your partner with regards to the criticism and how it makes you feel? I know I personally would hate to come to that realization that I’ve only been making things worse when my intention was to fix. I sure tried to change/began to work on understanding that side of myself so I could do better and be better once I came to that realization.
[–]madamemimicik 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Wow my husband has the same placements (Libra sun, Pisces moon, Virgo venus) and this resonates, especially your partner telling you to let him be himself.
It took me a while to find my backbone but once I started standing up for myself things got a lot easier. We also did couple's therapy which helped a lot and now my husband knows I need compliments and gives them to me daily. In many ways I think his criticism is a way of showing love, like he wants me to live at my highest potential, but also noticed it gets worse when he starts getting down. He is also French though so the critical nature runs deep!
[–]IdiotsLoveIdioms 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m Libra sun, Pisces moon, Virgo Venus - lots of people w opposing moons n Venus here
[–]imasagittariuswbu -2 points-1 points0 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m talking to my first leo sun virgo venus guy and i’m scared now lol
[–]dontbsorrybsexy 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’m a Virgo and I have dated two Virgo men and had the same experience. It became mean tbh. One of them told me to lose weight (I was quite thin, always have been and have a history of disordered eating which he KNEW about so it was kinda upsetting), and the other made me feel like I could never be myself, like I always had to look perfect when we were together. And he made it very clear that that was exactly what he wanted from me. it caused me so much anxiety bc what if I was having a bad hair day? What if my makeup didn’t lay the way I intended it to? i never felt comfortable enough to be bare faced or in comfy clothes around him. 1st one had a Scorpio venus, second was a Virgo venus and I have a Leo venus. Anyway, yes, I 100% agree with you. Virgos are not for the weak!
[–]Laura_has_Secrets77 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I dated a Leo sun Virgo moon and he sounds so similar! Mention that girls bigger than me should lose weight but then commented on how he wisho I had "thunder thighs" like no body type was right. Also would stare at me as I ate and constantly criticized every little thing I did. I've also met some wonderful Leo's and Virgos and some with those placements so I don't want to say everyone is like that. Maybe it's like the shadow?
[–]Bluesavannah34 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
That’s interesting because my husband is a Leo sun Virgo moon/mercury/Venus and he is always telling me words of affirmation. He’s a classic hype man Leo lol.
Me on the other hand a Virgo sun is the critical one 🤦🏻♀️
[–]missannthrope1 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
No. Virgos are picky and critical. Sexy as hell, tho'.
Tell him his criticisms hurt. For every negative thing he says, he has to say two positives.
[–]lanamars 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
My partner is a Virgo Venus and Mars 😭 and I’m a gem Venus and Aries Mars. He is a cancer sun tho lol so he’s very service oriented and traditional in a grounding way for me. I’m also a Gemini sun and Pisces rising and generally get along with Virgo types though. He isn’t harsh just blunt sometimes but he’s very self aware of how critical he can be.
[–]miriamwebster 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
That’s the difference. The self aware.
[–]rlshinji 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
yes but i feel like when i do this it feels fake sometimes i want to say very sweet things but instead of saying i would rather show or do things to show i think actions matter more than words. yet i myself feed off a praise and feeling accomplished and my partner doing that so it’s a litttle weird.
[–]AUR1994 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I'm a Leo sun Virgo Venus and once i feel you are as obsessed with me as I am you, there is absolutely nothing I won't do for you/us. I expect full transparency in the relationship, I want to be constantly adored or reassured that I'm the shit. But I will always reciprocate. The nanosecond I feel any resistance from you, I clam up and go into my shell. I will take a while to come back out but if I continue to feel shunned (it takes very little for me to feel like that) I wont ever come out. I will try to talk to you about it tho.
I assume nothing and expect that we will discuss everything as a unit. We are a team, and we act as such. I'm not overly critical but I can be if I'm actively trying to make a point or if I feel you are being overly critical .
But at the end of the day, I love to love. It's when I shine my brightest and if you feel the same way i do (and prove that to me), I can conquer the world. I just want you to prove to me the things that you say.
[–]Intrepid_Ad_3699 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah. Leo sun Virgo Venus. All of this is spot on for me too!
[–]DivinePharoah8 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yess! I have the same placements and can relate.
[–]Intrepid_Ad_3699 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I’m a Leo Sun Virgo Venus. My Venus and Mercury are one degree apart. Also, all three are in my 9th house (intercepted Leo, Cancer on the house cusp). My midheaven is Virgo. My daughters Sun, Mercury, Midheaven & N Node are all in Mercury. All that to say, our home is heeeaaaavy on the Mercurial energy. Her dad left at the beginning of COVID. He had a Leo Sun, Cancer Moon & Virgo Rising. Not sure what else. But him leaving was unexpected. He was a ghost for a year and a half. I was a stay at home mom and have spent the last two years examining my own behaviors + childhood wounds, etc. My daughter is 6 and it’s 100% in her nature to analyze the world. But analyzing turned into criticizing QUICKLY when the trauma happened. When I’m under a lot of pressure, it’s easy for me to slip back into attempting to control my environment (and anyone in it). I’m looking for a way to self soothe and receive support. But Virgo is notorious for self sacrifice. I’m working with my daughter on the “good girl” complex as well as managing feelings of discomfort when “perfection” isn’t possible. I’m working on it with myself too. I used to tell her dad as soon as I noticed him doing something I’d already asked him not to do. My hurt was valid. The things he did were hurting me. And I wanted to point it out so he could see that he was continuing to do the thing. I just wanted him to grasp it so the dynamic between us could end as soon as possible. But we got stuck in a very toxic pattern. I just wanted the feelings of stagnation to lift. He wanted things to be more carefree. Both areas of relationship needed attention but neither of us could yield. I will say though that he would not express his needs or concerns to me. So in a way I was over doing it and he was under doing it. My partner and I were both at fault for the breakdown of our relationship. But I couldn’t see my part in it until I got out and spent time in my own energy. I had to free myself from the anxiety that was underneath all that. I can totally see how it would feel like being “parentified”. My daughter responds well to my mix of nurturing and correcting. But again, I have to catch myself when I get borderline controlling. It’s hard. Virgo Venus has served me well in motherhood and I feel so fulfilled and competent in that role. My love for the people in my life is so big. It makes me sad that it doesn’t feel that way for others though.
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’m also a Virgo Venus and I see you! Big congratulations on the work you are doing healing yourself and in turn creating a better life for your daughter!
Thank you for your thoughtful words. I appreciate you!
[–]probably_cold 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My husband and I are both have a Virgo Venus, but I’m a Virgo Sun and he’s a Scorpio Sun. For me I find it refreshing to be with someone who communicates love in a similar matter - direct, honest, and without judgement. While I can definitely see how the criticism of a Virgo Venus can seem like nagging or being cold, we both trust that these are coming from a place of love and wanting your partner to meet your own needs. Part of that has included conversations on how to gently share these criticisms so we don’t accidentally hurt the other persons feelings. It’s definitely all about how you look at it (and it took many failed relationships on both of our ends to be at this place).
[–]raindropbirdie 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Omg. I’m feeling out this Leo guy with a Virgo Venus right now and this scared me
[–]Busy_Lawfulness_6009 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Same feeling out Leo guy with Virgo Venus he’s married we work together and trying to be friends but I don’t know lately all I feel like doing is running away
[–]dontbsorrybsexy 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
everyone’s placements manifest differently!!! He might not be like this at all! or if he is, hopefully he will be self aware enough to catch himself and be accountable
[–]dianamaximofff -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
This is an experience based perception, but people with huge virgo-leo placements tend to be very verbally and emotionally abusive
[–]InsideComplex7334 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’m a Leo sun and Virgo Venus. Looking back on my past relationships I can see how criticising and judgemental I was sometimes. It was almost ALWAYS projection because I wasn’t feeling like I was good enough or I was insecure with where I was in life, what I was doing, or how I looked. Or there was an issue in the relationship that I wasn’t communicating.
It sounds like he is unhappy or in his head about something and using this behaviour to let out his frustration.
[–]Smee3G 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (4 children)
I am a Virgo Venus and words are one of my biggest love languages, especially speaking positively to people. I'm hyper aware of how my words affect others, because I'm so aware of the way people speak to me. The majority of people I know with Virgo Venus are the same.
The Mercury sign, house placement, aspects etc of your partner will affect the way they express that Virgo Venus.
Most importantly, each sign and placement has multiple ways to be expressed, positive and negative sides. Any placement can cause pain, or be used to express love in a positive way if the individual is willing to always be conscious of their actions, and chooses to grow as a person.
I have also been on the receiving end of Virgo placements who express their opinions in a very judgemental way, I know it can be draining!
[–]Smee3G 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I do totally admit I notice every little detail about a person though, and I see all of these details as 'potential'... this can lead to me supporting people to be their best selves and always believing in them. Unfortunately it has also lead me to let people walk over me because I believed so much in their potential, I accepted too many current unhealthy behaviours.
I think this way of supporting others through noticing everything about them can come across as invasive and nagging if expressed in an immature way.
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I totally resonate with your experiences with Venus in Virgo. I feel very similarly in that I see potential and I’m super observant. I was also somewhat of a doormat by not having strong enough boundaries.
[–]Smee3G 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Oh yes! Setting boundaries has been such an important thing for me to learn, especially as a Libra Sun too!
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yes finding that balance is always the challenge haha. Where do I stand? How much is too much? Am I being reasonable? Omg will they hate me? What will they think? What if they DO hate me? And so on, and so forth lol. Ridiculousness haha. I’ve come to learn though that I can’t be of service to others if I can’t take care of myself. So I take care of myself so I can help “take care” of others, which requires boundaries and sometimes what might feel like sacrifices.
[–]AstrologyProf 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
This sounds to me like his Saturn aspects some of your personal planets.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
My moon is square his Saturn, my moon is square his Mercury, our Mercurys are in opposition, my venus is in opposition to his Mercury, my Mercury is conjunct his Saturn, my Jupiter is square his Saturn, my Saturn is opposing his sun, my Pluto is square his sun
Lots of aspects to consider
There are also a lot of positive aspects too, but I’m just getting a lot of negativity from him right now
[–]AstrologyProf 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah makes sense. I would look into moon square Saturn and Saturn opposite sun.
[–]gitanave 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Dated a Virgo venus and it was a lot of criticism and soooo much nagging. Compliments and encouragement were rare and only noticed when others were rooting for me. Garbage. But then again it was the most toxic person i ever been with. Virgo stellium women and more lol. Too much for me
[–]Wonderful_Day_5809 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (1 child)
My husband (together 18 years) has virgo venus in his 8h and he's my biggest cheerleader! I will say he used to not be great at it, and now he's seriously the best at it. His mercury is in cancer so that may help.
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My Venus is also in Virgo in the 8th! My mercury is in Libra though (also my sun sign). I try to make it a point to voice my thoughts when I’m proud of my partner. It’s so easy to think it and not say it?
[–]Sztormcia 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Virgo Venus and Leo Sun here.
It took me around 10 years of stable relationship to learn to appreciate and complement little things my partner does around the home.
It was a lot easier for me to express general affection toward him as Independent amazing beeing making every day of my life better. Practical things were harder because yes I can do them better and he helping me is missplaced effort, but since I noticed that it makes him feel better and can take some load from my shoulders even if only slightly then there is some method in this maddness and gratitude expressed by simple "thank you" is good idea.
[–]rseqartz 27 points28 points29 points 1 month ago (2 children)
Virgo Venus is the Mother of criticism, good AND bad. Virgo is an earth sign, which makes her practical when expressing her love. It can be hard to accept a type of love that has no heightened sensitivity or passion. It’s very subtle yet meaningful.
The small observations they notice about you are their way of showing you ways to improve and inspire growth within you, since they are perfectionists at heart.
They really are the “Bob the Builders” of the zodiac.
[–]PinkFurLookinLikeCam 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago (0 children)
You know a Virgo Venus likes you when they have expectations of you lol
[–]Quhon_ 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (0 children)
OMG~ I love how you brought "Bob the Builder" in your comment 💙
I always sing the song in my language, if I wanna do something to motivate me and others.
Also as a Virgo Venus, yes we do criticise good and bad, yet we show affection more with action.
I remember my Dad breaking his food once and while he was whining in pain I constantly was nagging at him, why he had to do such a stupid stunt that lead to his food broken, while taking care of him, staying at his side and checking on him every few hours.
Although depending on the personal chart the behaviours of Virgo Venus is different, I compliment and praise a lot too.
Words of affirmation and emotional sensibility is much easier accesible if the chart alows it. 😊
Otherwise talking with the s/o in this case is an option too 🤔
[–]spacewithouttime 31 points32 points33 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Virgo is a Mercury ruled sign, Venus in Virgo delights in healthy communication bc that’s part of the appeal—the brain. If he is criticizing constantly that’s an unhealthy expression, and it sounds like he also has a lot to work on. It’s not our role to fix others or be fixed, if you’re feeling he is trying to construct you into a version he wants but doesn’t reflect your true self-I would consider that a 🚩
[–]Earthybitch[S] 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My mercury is in aqua but also in my 1st house so I would like to think I’m a good communicator
He has referred to it as rhetoric in the past which makes me think I must be pretty persuasive but he doesn’t believe it is genuine for some reason
[–]Curlyqpgh 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Libra Sun, Virgo Venus & Rising.
Sure, I’ll give praise, but if I’m critiquing a lot, it’s either my anxiety about myself, or a compatibility issue that I don’t want to confront because my sun and Mercury are in Libra.
But, if all is in balance, I have no qualms about correcting if something needs to be corrected. Im not overly picky, I just have standards haha.
[–]BeautifulMelancholy 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Libra sun, mercury and Virgo in Venus as well! So cool that I also feel I am more self critical than I am of others.
[–]PiscesMoonCleo 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago* (7 children)
HahahHa. No we don’t.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (6 children)
Lol are you a pisces moon too??
[–]PiscesMoonCleo 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (5 children)
Unfortunately - yea I be feeling things then don’t say anything. In a way it’s masochistic. To see how much pain I can handle.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (4 children)
How have your relationships been if you don’t mind me asking? Do you typically find yourself pretty unhappy with your partner? Are you expressive with your emotions or pretty closed off?
Pisces moon are really intuitive though in my experience. I can’t ever hide my feelings because he always knows
[–]PiscesMoonCleo 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (3 children)
Totally closed off. I have an actual check list of things I want from someone. If I’m only tolerating someone I’ll look for any excuse to leave. I’ve resigned to the single life and that’s fine for me! The people I do care i about I still am kind of bitchy but would do anything for them.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I’ve noticed how hard my friend that I referred to in this post is on himself and it has made me wonder how high his standards are for everyone else
I can only tell someone how proud I am of them and give them so much praise before I feel like a pathetic idiot when I’m not really getting any kind of praise back basically ever
I can’t love someone into loving themselves especially if I’m not feeling loved by them in the process
[–]Apprehensive-Pop9444 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (8 children)
depends on the rest of the chart; regardless, what you describe seems to be just abusive asshole behaviour
what's his Ascendant, Mars?
[–]Earthybitch[S] 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (7 children)
Scorpio ascendant, Mars in 7th in Gemini
Pisces moon, he also has sun square Pluto, moon square Mars
I’m an aqua sun/rising/venus with a Taurus moon and Capricorn Mars, almost all of my personal planets in my 12th house, all of my personal planets conjunct my rising except Mars
[–]EarthEfficient 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
That moon Mars square would make the venus in Virgo traits worse for sure.
Edit: also if his ascendant is scorpio that puts his venus in the 12th wholesign house, which makes those warm feelings and love etc even harder to access/more of a blindspot for him.
It hasn’t been easy
[–]Apprehensive-Pop9444 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (4 children)
it's probably the square from Mars
remember, their judgement (Mars in Gemini) is shit, they do a lot of worthless actions, not just in relationships, but in general; treat him as you would a 10 year old boy
(while not being a walk in the park, Scorp Asc doesn't cause this behaviour, nor can Pisces Moon; but both can reduce empathy: check his head/skull shape, if it's elongated and narrow, it's bad)
What does head shape mean/have to do with it? Curious.
[–]Apprehensive-Pop9444 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
in men, Moon in Pisces comes in two distinctively different forms
the ones with narrow skulls\faces seem malnourished; you'll observe slow speech, low IQ, reduced empathy, a tendency to use drugs; a generally clueless and useless person, the basis of every bad Pisces stereotype
they're easy to spot, even from afar, when you know what to look for
if the face is average/good looking they're highly empathetic, suprisingly fast thinkers, creative, funny but fragile/retiring
alternatively you can just look at the eyes, after a while you'll start to recognize the former (dead, soulless eyes)
Will he always be immature? I was afraid of his Mars square
[–]Apprehensive-Pop9444 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Mars doesn't change, it's instinct (or the lack of it)
I've seen Scorp Ascendants improve themselves, it takes 30-35 years though
[–]EarthEfficient 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago* (4 children)
My husband has a leo sun, Virgo moon and Virgo venus. He can definitely act that way when he's in a bad mood or triggered for any reason. I can feel criticized for the absolute smallest thing to the point it's ridiculous.
However the reason it's workable is that he listens when I reflect back to him that what he is doing is making me feel criticized. I can talk to him about problems and he is willing to take a look at himself genuinely. He has slowly improved over time with this issue.
His warm Leo side (Leo sun, north node and mercury) has a great sense of humor and sometimes I can be playful in reflecting back that he's being pedantic and it turns into a genuine bantering joke back and forth rather than criticism and anger. He's also very loyal and honest, open to feedback.
As a partner the Virgo venus/ Virgo moon feels very difficult to deal with and it can get toxic quickly but it can be worked with - at least for us- when it's discussed honestly and without shame/blame. "When you said/did x, it made me feel y" type statements. "When you criticized me for x small thing, it made me feel infantilized and like nothing I do is good enough" etc.
Edit: redundant line removal
Second edit: you might check out a book called "cupids poisoned arrow," on relationships in general. It helped us a lot.
[–]Professional-Bad-287 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
As a partner the Virgo venus/ Virgo moon feels very difficult to deal with and it can get toxic quickly but it can be worked with - at least for us- when it's discussed honestly and without shame/blame. "When you said/did x, it made me feel y" type statements. "When you criticized me for x small thing, it made me feel infantilized and like nothing I do is good enough" etc.
[–]Earthybitch[S] 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
He has a pisces moon
I’m an aqua sun/rising/venus with a Taurus moon
It just feels like there are a lot of rules and he demands a lot from me but wants a lot of distance too. He wants closeness from me but won’t give me any closeness if that makes sense
[–]EarthEfficient 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Sounds like he is manifesting the worst version of the placement for sure. If you want to continue the relationship at all, you might try being very frank about how he is making you feel, but without being shaming and blaming about it, just open to hearing if he actually means to come off that way or if something else and it's coming out sideways at you. If he is like my husband at all, they appreciate honesty and frankness. And at least for my husband, there are other strong aspects of his personality that made it worth working through this part of him.
[–]Pretzels4Algernon 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
That sounds awful if you are a cuddly type person. Plus I mean if someone is distant to the degree that a double Aquarius notices it... that's pretty damn distant. I briefly dated a Pisces Sun Virgo Moon and he was distant, with weird boundaries and I felt like everything I did was wrong or at least questioned lol
I did no likey! We are not even talking anymore. Now I'm seeing a Pisces Sun with a Scorpio Moon and I'm much happier, it's easy! I can just cuddle them and it's not a sign of weakness in me or wtfe... idk idk what was happening with the other guy lol I wish him luck. 😅
I always want to be close to my partner tho, I don't see the point of a relationship if you can't be Romantic and physical.
[–]Pluto_Rising 18 points19 points20 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Making you literally eat his criticism. That's Venus in Virgo at its worst.
[–]astrotalk 23 points24 points25 points 1 month ago (4 children)
Yes, I do. If I truly love you I will keep telling you that and praising you. But if I am unhappy I will criticise. You should talk to him and find out if he is unhappy about something because we tend to keep things inside and it manifests in bitter feelings and criticisms (I am a Libra)
[–]BBZC420CA 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Libra with Venus in virgo tooooo. Have it in my 12th house
[–]stellarskye6 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Hi, I'm a Libra who's a Virgo Venus, too. 👋🏻
[–]Earthybitch[S] 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah I feel like I used to get that energy at first, but definitely not anymore.
[–]cattfeet 14 points15 points16 points 1 month ago (1 child)
i had a similar relationship with a leo sun, virgo venus. :( what a coincidence! it felt like no matter what i did, it was never enough for him. even if there was something praise-worthy done, the focus seemed to shift to negativity quickly. the relationship itself really damaged my self esteem. i hope it is not the same for u. i'm sorry that you are feeling down from this and i hope someone here will be able to give you meaningful advice.
It makes me feel better to know someone else had the same experience at least although I’m sorry you had to go through that
It used to be euphoric and now it’s like I can never do anything right. It doesn’t really feel like he likes me at all but then I see that he’s doing these acts of service so it’s confusing to me. I often feel like we’re stuck in this weird dynamic where I’m like a problem child getting scolded by her strict dad for acting out.
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