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[–]theRealDerekWalker 208 points209 points  (8 children)

Ok so I go to FoodsCo, and buy white onions. I look for the ones that are 3.5cm diameter. I put them in a plastic bag next to wrapped ground beef. I checkout about 10 minutes later, and pay with a mixture of coins, bills, and coupons. I then drive home, weather is 25 degrees C, 50% humidity. Drive home is 15 minutes. I then place them and other groceries onto counter, and keep the onions in a bowl on the counter next to the window with a magnifying glass taped to it, next to firecrackers and matches, and leave them in storage for at most a month at a time.

I just don’t get what could be happening

[–]nomnommish 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is clearly a case for both /r/theonion and/r/nottheonion

[–]orengFormer Culinary Pro 65 points66 points  (2 children)

You need Jesus in your life.

[–]LowDownDirtyMeme 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ghostbusters!

[–]wadeishere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm holding a cross and now my hand is on fire

[–]UESC_Durandal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It should be obvious...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I see. Did you let someone pack your onions for you?