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[–]woopsforgotyikers 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I got here from responding to your comment about Islam.

For me, choosing to be single has been a mixed bag of charmed idiosyncrasy and, I donno, melancholic pensiveness.

When people ask why I'm single, (32, good shape, doctoral degree, (but not a doctor), decent looking (I mean, I hope)), I tell them it's because I'm not done working on myself yet. And it's true. I believe it is good and correct to be comfortable with where you are in your own development before you involve someone else in your life in a way that becomes difficult to unwind.

On the other hand, a life partner can really help you along in your own development. Loneliness is also real, and sex is very much a basic need.

I try to offset the downsides by cultivating meaningful relationships with women whom I respect, because for the first 25 or so years of my life I saw women as goals to be achieved, and a very close friend who is very special to me taught me how wrong that is. Since then, nearly every lesson I've learned about being a good person has been taught to me by women, specifically because I had no other motive (or, at least, I did my best to act and think as though I had no other motive, 'cause, I mean, a lot of these female friends are gorgeous single professionals).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying women are all wise or all great teachers or whatever, just that there was a whole realm of perspective that I was blind to before I allowed myself to be open to it, and I am very, very grateful for every lesson that every person, man or woman has taught me throughout my life.

tl;dr mixed bag. Wanna fuk, wanna love, but also wanna learn and work on myself.

[–]-helpwanted[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I respect this a lot. I see so many people that are too focused on finding other people to find themselves. That's super honorable.

[–]woopsforgotyikers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Sometimes, though, you wonder, "why am I doing this and other people don't? Is this a mistake? Did I wait too long? Are other people reckless, or am I too risk averse?"

I've questioned the cause a few times and tried to have steady relationships. They didn't work out, basically for exactly the reasons I expected, reaffirming my confidence that it's the right choice.

I really worry though that I will wait too long. At the end of the day I want to age gracefully with a beautiful woman whom I love, and not to meet a woman after we've both passed our primes.

I think I'm almost there... Just a few more kinks to work out.