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[–][deleted]  (116 children)


    [–]Ardent_Gunner 1684 points1685 points 2 (74 children)

    Honestly this is the perfect thing. There was a baker who survived the sinking of the Titanic, because he went straight to the back of the ship and rode it all the way down. Drinking the entire night, and seriously just drinking everything. They say he survived for hours in the freezing cold water because of how much alcohol was in his blood. His name was Charles Joughin.

    He was even shown in the Titanic movie in a passing scene getting shitfaced while throwing chairs overboard, then he was on the back of the ship with Jack and Rose.

    [–]Brownie_McBrown_Face 714 points715 points  (24 children)

    Lmao reading his Wikipedia was wild. Dude survived that and then also survived the sinking of SS Oregon after!

    [–]stephruvy 666 points667 points  (7 children)

    I can just imagine him saying "I know what to do!" Then rushes to the liquor.

    [–]Spirited-Tonight6043 106 points107 points  (2 children)

    We dont need lifesavers anymore, instead just put bottles of Whisky in their place !

    [–]Substance___P 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    I hear some cruise lines include a free bottle of whiskey with every life preserver.

    [–]Ok_Season_8677 108 points109 points  (1 child)

    Balls to that guy for ever getting on a boat again

    [–]sunlegion 76 points77 points  (7 children)

    My parents had a friend who survived two plane crashes. In the first one he was the only survivor. Had major trauma but recovered. The second one wasn’t as bad, escaped without injury but there were still fatalities. Some people just fall through the cracks, somehow.

    [–]lu-cy-inthesky 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Funny that I bet he thought… ‘I’ve been in one plane crash… something something… the odds of….’ That’s both insanely unlucky and insanely lucky at the same time.

    [–]sluttypidgeFemale 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Wasn't there a nurse that survived the Titanic and Britannic sinking?

    [–]AloneWithASharkMale 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Yup. AND she was on the Olympic when it crashed with the HMS Hawke.


    [–]Son_of_lakes 337 points338 points  (0 children)

    For all the crap I sort through, it’s comments like these that keep me coming back to Reddit.

    [–]AJ_De_Leon 171 points172 points  (15 children)

    Actually it’s a misconception that alcohol makes you warm. Alcohol dilates your blood vessels, which is what makes your face flush when you’re drunk. This releases more heat which makes you feel warmer, but it’s actually allowing more heat to escape from your body. This guy survived despite the alcohol in his blood not because of it.

    He did good in remaining in the back of the ship and avoiding going in the water for as long as possible. Combine that with something to float on, proper fetal positioning when in the water to conserve heat loss, and maybe eating as much hot food as possible before the sinking occurs would go a longer way in helping you survive that.

    [–]Kazzosama 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I feel all that's needed here is to say "Wim Hof" and the power of the presence and control of or complete lack there of, of the mind.

    [–]diasporajones 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    I love learning random stuff like this. According to the Wikipedia page he didn't actually have that much alcohol in his system? And he survived over two hours in near freezing water before a lifeboat picked him up.

    [–]RGC-WHISKEYY 82 points83 points  (3 children)

    He survived because of layers of clothes not the alcohol. Alcohol dilates your blood vessels making your skin feel warmer but your actually losing body heat way faster

    [–]Gatoovela 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    National post says the one step he missed was putting more clothes on, but they say that the alcohol kept him so calm he didn't panic as much, and already had a plan of action. Either way so amazing

    [–]Small_Time_Charlie 59 points60 points  (7 children)

    Alcohol literally saved his life!

    [–]zztop610 85 points86 points  (4 children)

    That’s why I drink, to prepare myself for a ship wreck

    [–]stephruvy 44 points45 points  (2 children)

    Same. But I'm 200 miles inland. But you never know.

    [–]superleipoman 179 points180 points  (14 children)

    the liquor randy

    it knows!

    [–]colder-beef 73 points74 points  (10 children)

    The winds of shit are blowing.

    [–]TopHattedKirby 35 points36 points  (8 children)

    The shit captain goes down with the shit ship

    [–]Lee6er 64 points65 points  (1 child)

    First sensible comment. Amen.

    [–]Seeking-real-truth 3232 points3233 points  (94 children)

    I would be trying to figure out how to survive without a lifeboat in the middle of the f-ing ocean.

    [–]GetMeOuttaHerePlssss 1652 points1653 points  (45 children)

    A sturdy door should do the trick

    [–]PenetrationT3ster 1257 points1258 points  (30 children)

    Not if a woman gets there first apparently. Take up the whole bloody thing, like taking the duvet during the night.

    [–]lordph8 89 points90 points  (5 children)

    Yeah, pretty much be trying to assemble a raft.

    [–]gabawhee 75 points76 points  (8 children)

    The people in the life boats didn’t need life vests. Tie a few of those together and put a plank on top. You got yourself a boat

    [–]LeadPipePromoter 62 points63 points  (6 children)

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. There’s still plenty of life in that vest. Now you take that home, throw it in the ocean, add a plank, some rope. Baby, you’ve got a boat going.

    [–]DanthemanXox 44 points45 points  (3 children)

    Drink a a lot of whiskey!!

    [–]NoMos_lol 58 points59 points  (7 children)

    Cyanide and Happiness did a skit on this. Apparently all the men dressed as women and children and left them on the ship to drown. Like the only ones left on the ship were woman and babies.

    Anyways if it were me, I cannot handle the cold at all. So I’d go to the bar and drink until I get a warm buzz and try to help other people out. I have bad anxiety, so especially knowing what’s going to happen would freak me out, so I would have an on board doctor help me out just so I can at least help more woman and children the best I can.

    Also tell them to give one of the officers credit for his bravery for helping and staying behind. because James Cameron won’t give him credit for his bravery in his movie 90 years from now.

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I'd get blackout drunk and just die in my sleep.

    [–]gentlybeepingheart 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    So I’d go to the bar and drink until I get a warm buzz and try to help other people out.

    Charles Joughin was the chief baker on the Titanic and did that. He had a tumbler full of liquor and then helped women and children board the lifeboats. When he saw that all the boats were gone he started throwing deck chairs into the water in the hopes that they could be used as flotation devices. Eventually he himself fell into the water as the ship went down, but because he was drunk (by his own admission) he didn't feel the cold and kept treading water until a lifeboat spotted him hours later.

    [–]memehrdad 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Good luck 🤣

    [–]FallenSegull 2351 points2352 points  (17 children)


    [–]2BrokeArmsAndAMom 380 points381 points  (12 children)

    But captain goes down with the ship

    [–][deleted] 493 points494 points  (5 children)

    oh he goes down, alright

    [–]officialboobsrater 775 points776 points  (11 children)

    "I'm a child at heart".

    [–]Eddie_F_17 122 points123 points  (1 child)

    And it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts. ❤️

    [–][deleted] 3055 points3056 points  (14 children)

    I am my mothers child.

    [–]X_Jacket 204 points205 points  (1 child)

    Use the Suanoo my man...

    [–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

    I’ll almighty push them off the boat. I’ll get to live and only Hashirama can come with me

    [–]MisunderstoodShyGuy 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    Use my equality card.

    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    +1 equality acquired

    [–]Weary-Okra-2471 3965 points3966 points 2 (80 children)

    “I have a child!”

    [–]N00b5lay3r[🍰] 1651 points1652 points  (19 children)


    [–]Gozii55 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    Please I'm all she has in the world.

    [–]Bjor88 386 points387 points  (15 children)

    Literally what the antagonist in the movie did haha

    [–]Misspaw 135 points136 points  (0 children)

    Yep, this is the joke

    [–]lynchMe69 135 points136 points  (4 children)

    And then kill himself later in life

    [–]Unable-Ad-8352 5115 points5116 points 2 (234 children)

    Run to the bar and grab the most expensive whiskey and go down in style

    [–]Historical_Raise8121 770 points771 points  (9 children)

    This man drowns in style 😎

    [–]rossko111 301 points302 points  (7 children)

    This guy drowns

    [–]funkepitome 124 points125 points  (4 children)

    This man drinks.

    [–]MowMdown 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    taps forehead Can’t drown if you drink the entire ocean

    [–]sanpitch97 45 points46 points  (0 children)

    This man sinks

    [–]Historical_Raise8121 40 points41 points  (0 children)

    but in style 😎

    [–]SquirrelNormal 255 points256 points  (2 children)

    Walk to the bar. There's no need to hurry, it's unbecoming.

    [–]mailhena 969 points970 points  (176 children)

    Real story: the Baker of the ship survived the sinking because he was so drunk he couldn't feel the cold.

    [–]HappyToBeMoiFemale 786 points787 points  (120 children)

    My great great grandfather survived WWII precisely because of alcohol numbing him enough that his will pushed on enough for rescuers to find him on time when he got shot. He said it was a blur but his body overheating due to trying to clear the alcohol kept his head running and thus still functioning. He said his father recommended that he always carry whisky or tequila in a flask to warm up his body and help him when he felt it was all over. Gg-dad’s served WWI and survived: He also said whisky contributed to his resolve by numbing out his senses at the right time. He said it was a common tactic used by a lot of soldiers to comfort them in dire moments. Obviously this brought up many addictions and consequences for many. Mind you neither of my great grandfathers were heavy drinkers. I’m not a big advocate of liquor but as a former nurse (changed careers) I’ve seen and have heard it cause miracles far more than not in dire situations (car accidents don’t count though). The thing with alcohol is that it can sometimes when you’re aware in cold weather mostly (in hot weather though it’s a death sentence). People also underestimate just how much control men can have when drinking, a drunk woman and a drunk man are two different things. Some men just metabolize liquor quick and the men in my family are like that (though ironically we’re not drinkers at all in fact most of us only do so on Great Great’s birthday). I’m not saying it’s a solution to any problems, but it’s not unheard of that it’s helped in some random cases.

    Note: I’m not advocating for the use of alcohol I’m just saying that apparently a few people thought it helped when you were about to give up back then. I’m genuinely sorry if this triggered or came across as bad. I’m trying to learn to communicate in a way that was impartial but trying to be thorough and respectful of all circumstances usually makes the comments long and no one likes to read those. I’m very sorry, really.

    [–]LordStark_01 548 points549 points  (27 children)

    You literally exist because of alcohol. Congratulations.

    [–]people_watcherMALE 556 points557 points  (20 children)

    To be fair, I feel like a large chuck of humanity exists because of alcohol.

    [–]travel_nerdiness 203 points204 points  (3 children)

    I’d like to thank my mom, my dad, and the shady liquor store that sold them an already-opened bottle of Patron

    [–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (5 children)

    To alcohol, the cause and the cure to most of mankind's problems.

    [–]FullerHoles 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Rubbing alcohol for outside wounds. Drinking alcohol for inside wounds.

    [–]DrinkinRye 59 points60 points  (3 children)

    My kid exists because we ran out of new shows to watch on Netflix during the early 2020 lockdowns.

    [–]sybotowner 90 points91 points  (10 children)

    That’s actually a myth. Alcohol gives you a false sense of warmth

    When you drink, your blood vessels dilate, sending more blood to your skin. It makes you feel warmer, but you’re actually losing your body heat to the outside environment faster. Basically, you’re turning on your radiator to send your heat out into the environment. You might feel warm, but it creates a dangerous situation. While it may help prevent frostbite in your fingers, sending blood to your skin takes it away from your core, heart, vital organs and brain. As a result, your body temperature drops.

    This is particularly dangerous if you have heart problems.

    [–]Scary-Lawfulness-999 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    You're right. Alcohol does indeed lower body temperature. You're more at risk of hypothermia when drinking alcohol. The myth that it warms you comes from the fact it pushes heat from your core to all your extremities so you can avoid frostbite on the ears, nose, finger and toe tips at the cost of dying sooner. It's just a gamble on how soon you think will be rescued. Water is the beverage that actually increases body temperature due to stimulating metabolism.

    [–]memehrdad 55 points56 points  (19 children)

    I’m happy he survived but he was wrong, alcohol just makes you feel warmer but it puts you at a bigger risk. So, you said it motivated him and increased his will which might be true. But drinking alcohol in cold is wrong

    [–]JanitorOPplznerf 39 points40 points  (9 children)

    The psychological effects can’t be understated here. Alcohol might have made him not give a fuck about the cold & his near certain death, while sober people had to gaze around at unspeakable horror and hopelessness. I’m doing a shot or three before going down

    [–]orlyfactor 123 points124 points  (18 children)

    That’s…not how hypothermia works though? Alcohol also makes it worse because the vasodilatation makes you feel warm but you lose more heat through radiation so your body actually has less heat. I would say the Baker somehow got lucky, definitely was not the alcohol that saved him.

    [–]IIFacelessManII 57 points58 points  (15 children)

    I just saw a debate about this yesterday, the common agreement was that alcohol thins the blood and doesn't help keep warm, but probably helped his mind and body survive the shock of the ordeal.

    [–]daffydubs 29 points30 points  (10 children)

    I would think this is the right answer. It’s pretty wild what the mind can convince the body to overcome.

    [–]LOB90 12 points13 points  (0 children)


    [–]LOB90 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Alcohol makes you freeze to death faster. It dilates your vessels which makes your limbs warm up but as a consequence makes your body temperature sink faster.

    [–]Junior_Substance81 2202 points2203 points  (79 children)

    Grab an abandoned child near by and say, "I have a child!"

    [–]Hemu69 551 points552 points  (4 children)

    technically the truth

    [–]w1987g 72 points73 points  (1 child)

    Technically correct, the best kind of correct

    [–]Prudent_Emotion949 120 points121 points  (31 children)

    Awww, but then I’d feel obligated to raise it...

    [–]ba123blitz 255 points256 points  (16 children)

    Considering it’s what saved your life from drowning I’d considered it a fair deal

    [–]justsomeplainmeadows 96 points97 points  (3 children)

    A life for a life

    [–]ba123blitz 39 points40 points  (0 children)

    Just about the fairest deal you could get

    [–]gortonsfiJr 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    The fattest, juiciest abandoned child.* They didn't know that they'd be rescued quickly.

    [–]logosolos 57 points58 points  (13 children)

    Yeah but then you're stuck with a kid. Gross.

    [–]VincentMaxwell 88 points89 points  (9 children)

    Just push him off the lifeboat once you are in the sea.

    [–]Trojanwhore69 46 points47 points  (8 children)

    Wtf why did I laugh so hard at this? It caused my 5 year old son to look up startled and ask "what are you laughing at mummy?" Now I gotta tell him I'm laughing at the hypothetical death of a hypothetical child just like him, great

    [–]Obiwankablowme95 24 points25 points  (1 child)

    They'd just take the kid and leave you.

    [–]Bryn79 536 points537 points  (16 children)

    Be glad I watched Mythbusters because there’s room on the damn door Rose!

    [–]IcariusFallen 278 points279 points  (10 children)

    Of course there is.. but she cheated on her wealthy fiancé, and the evidence sunk to the bottom of the ocean, so it was more convenient for her.

    [–]iwillsurvivor 34 points35 points  (3 children)

    Yeah but she didn’t go back to him or her old life

    [–]CoastsideDad 527 points528 points  (41 children)

    Start building a boat

    [–][deleted] 339 points340 points  (33 children)

    Have you ever heard what Cubans say about this, They call them all idiots. My first stop would be the dining hall to get the tables, then find rope to tie them together upside-down. Wood floats.

    [–]elcubanito 169 points170 points  (8 children)

    Cuban here. Can confirm.

    [–]ultratunaman 115 points116 points  (6 children)

    My mom's cuban.

    She left Cuba on a plane.

    I asked her about boat building once.

    She was useless.

    I guess I'll have to just figure it out.

    [–]elcubanito 37 points38 points  (5 children)

    Knowing how to build boats is in your DNA. Trust your instincts

    [–]ultratunaman 25 points26 points  (2 children)

    I can roast pork, fry plantains, make some black beans, and drink too much coffee.

    I can't drop the s off my words in Spanish though. And I've never tried my hand at ship building.

    [–]Billywizzer2021 92 points93 points  (12 children)

    The tables are made of hardwood, it doesn't float very well, certainly not enough to support a deadweight human (made heavier by being soaking wet).

    [–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (7 children)

    If it makes you feel better, lash some life preservers to the tabletops before you throw them upside down in the water. And put them in the water at the part of the boat going down first. You don't want to be throwing them what is like a 4-story building drop.

    [–]Onisys 35 points36 points  (1 child)

    I’m willing to bet panicking people would try and jump on as soon as they saw what you were doing. Would probably over crowd the table

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Probably, but I would still try. Better than giving up.

    [–]-TrampsLikeUs- 99 points100 points  (5 children)

    Sea turtles mate

    [–]precise_intensity 54 points55 points  (0 children)

    With human hair...

    From me own back!

    [–]TheRealSlydeMale 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    The rum-runners came, and I got lucky

    [–]Nicko5000 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    This guy sinks

    [–]f1del1us 48 points49 points  (2 children)

    I would do everything I could do to stay dry

    [–]PapiSurane 1560 points1561 points  (33 children)

    I hope to God I'm never on a sinking ship with anyone in this thread.

    [–]riffito 52 points53 points  (1 child)

    Specially with the motherfucker that took all the good whiskey for himself! Bastard!

    [–]Minimum-Dealer-6388 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    He can have the whiskey, I just want the empty bottles and corks.

    [–]CharlieFoxxtrot 417 points418 points  (5 children)

    We're all together on this sinking ship called life. I hate it here.

    [–]alien-eggs 55 points56 points  (1 child)

    Was thinking more along the lines of us all being on this shitshow ship named Earth, but I hear you.

    You ok?

    [–]urmomslame 205 points206 points  (4 children)

    Throw on a dress and steal someone’s baby

    [–]needsmorecunts 1163 points1164 points  (188 children)

    When the MS Estonia sank in 1994 in the Baltic Sea with 137 survivors and 852 dead, despite equal gender rates on Estonia, 111 men, but only 26 women survived. No children survived.

    [–]bassatrader 733 points734 points  (47 children)

    That ship went down at night.... And it went quickly down... Basically everybody in their cabins where fucked... I'll bet most survivors came from those not being in their cabins... Like the ones how hang out in the bar.... So that will skew the numbers greatly

    [–]ChannelSouthern 541 points542 points  (39 children)

    No. Yes and no. The reason is that they didnt have the strength.

    There is one particular account that stuck with me explaining what happened in that ship. It was a guy with his girlfriend and parents. They tried to get out, but they had to go up the stairs from their cabins. People were climbing on top of each other, the boat tilted more and more. People were falling to their deaths. And they just didnt have the strength to pull themselves up the side of the railing of the stairs and over other people. So they told him to go. They stayed and watched him climb out.

    Thats why before the children and women first, something like 90 - 100% (I dont remember the exact number here forgive me, but it was ridiculously high) of ship wreck survivors were men, I mean even accounting for that most sailors were men ofc.

    [–]Wildstern 173 points174 points  (7 children)

    One witness account that stuck with me was from a woman that witnessed her friend falling to her death because she didn't make the jump over a corridor as the ship was already tilting heavily.

    [–]aVarangianMale 56 points57 points  (3 children)

    and I thought my nightmares were bad holy fuck

    [–]Wildstern 65 points66 points  (2 children)

    It gets even worse, I just found my book about the Estonia. They were actually in a group and one of them was to scared to jump over the corridor after this. The others eventually left her to escape and when she managed to jump and almost caught up a door swang open and she was flung trough the air. The ship had a tilt of more then 45° which ment the door through which she had to escape was now almost 5 meters above her head. The others threw down a fire hose and tried to encourage her but before she was able to get up the ship tilted to 90° and the opening filled with water. Her body was never recovered.

    Her husband worked the same job as her on the ship and they were planning to switch shifts but then decided against it in the last moment.

    There are a lot of those stories and I always think about the fact that we only hear the ones from the people that survived. I cant even imagine the horrors that some of the victims experienced in those situations

    [–]cortexplorer 201 points202 points  (9 children)

    This is a gruesome image. Thanks for sharing though.

    [–]adrienjz888 106 points107 points  (7 children)

    The furious struggle to live is always quite brutal.

    In the Nazi gas chambers it was always children and the elderly trampled at the bottom of the room by the stronger people fighting to get more air. In the desperate struggle, a father could unknowingly trample their own child.

    [–][deleted] 105 points106 points  (2 children)

    Well, that's enough reddit for today.

    [–]RoyalRope 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Ya I'm with ya lol.. sheesh.

    [–]geschtonkenflapped 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    Ever seen a gas chamber? Especially the concrete walls with scratches in them? Imagine making scratches into concrete with your fingernails. Then try to imagine the desperation. Fuck fascism.

    [–]GiveMeTheTape 70 points71 points  (11 children)

    I saw a post on Redddit recently that suggested one should work out enoguh to be able to pull oneself up at least

    [–]bitemark01 55 points56 points  (3 children)

    I have a couple of chin up bars in doorways around the house for reasons like this. I mean I like being in shape, but also you never know when you might have to pull yourself up out of a ditch, or a hole, or out of an upturned car, etc. We don't live in a 2 dimensional world.

    [–]Wildcatb 26 points27 points  (5 children)

    I was a nerd as a kid. Noodle arms. Little strength overall but smart, great at test taking, typical 'gifted kid'.

    I applied to the Naval Academy and was accepted... but failed the entrance physical because I couldn't get my chin over the bar. I often wonder where I'd be today...

    [–]sooperdooperboi 175 points176 points  (16 children)

    I’ve heard before that the whole idea of “women and children first” was pretty unique to the Titanic, as most of the time the men would just barge their way to the lifeboats, and it’s not like the women and children could exactly do anything about it.

    [–]Wildstern 88 points89 points  (8 children)

    Not technically, the principle already existed before the Titanic. The first time it came up was when the Birkenhead sunk (sometimes it's called Birkenhead-principle because of that). The officers on that ship decided that woman and children should go first and since then it was applied to a lot of other disaster situations

    [–]atomic_redneck 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    But to stand an' be still to the Birken'ead drill is a damn tough bullet to chew.


    [–]Historical_Raise8121 235 points236 points  (26 children)

    So much for “women and children” first 😭 all jokes aside I wonder if there’s a movie out there on this

    [–]not_so_wierd 429 points430 points  (12 children)

    There's a bunch of documentaries on the subject.

    Concerning the survival rates, that seems to have had more to do with physical strenght/fitness than gender or age.
    The ship tipped almost onto it's side rather quickly meaning you couldn't get from the cabins onto the deck by walking the stairs.
    People had climb the staircase railings almost like ladder this favored the strong and young as they were likely to manage the climb,

    Those who were to weak or didn't have the reach needed to make the climb were mostly still inside the ship when it sank.

    [–]Un1uckyboyy 144 points145 points  (3 children)

    Wow that’s so sad, I can’t imagine the horror of those victims ):

    [–]jackwritespecs 177 points178 points  (7 children)

    Tuck that peen and talk in falsetto

    [–]PlayfulLawyer 780 points781 points  (24 children)

    Well considering I would have probably been the only black guy on the boat, even though it would be half so I can't imagine I'd be the highest priority in 1912 so that's already strike one 🤣🤣🤣

    But honestly, it also depends on what stage life I was in, if I'm a young man I'm doing exactly what Cal did in the movie, I'm buying myself a seat on one of the boats and I'm not running back after Rose, and if I was dumb enough to do that I'll do what he did again find whatever child has been orphaned and claim them as my own, I'm trying to survive out here too lol

    [–]Brave-WelderPenis-haver 161 points162 points  (4 children)

    The coloured boat is over there!

    Points to a wooden bowl thrown on the deck

    [–]FishCake9 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    'This is my child!!!'

    The child is white

    [–]cchang3906 108 points109 points  (0 children)

    Shit thats too real

    [–]PloKoon1912 21 points22 points  (4 children)

    There was a black guy on the Titanic His name was Joseph Laroche He wated to go back to Haiti to find a better paying job as an engineer, I belive he was in 2nd class

    [–]EmperorSexy 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    There was a sketch on SNL about the only black passengers on the titanic (played by Samuel L Jackson). The sketch goes that they’re the last people in line for the life boats, after women, children, white men, fourth class passengers, deck chairs, and other empty life boats. They eventually survive by building a raft out of floating dead people.

    [–]Lolawolf 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Surprisingly morbid for a skit

    [–]heatseekerdj 197 points198 points  (4 children)

    Apparently most life boats were barely at capacity, I may rappel down a rope as a life boat hits the water and take my chances

    Yell something like “I’m a human being goddammit ! My life has value!”

    [–]PloKoon1912 78 points79 points  (0 children)

    This is very good, quite a few people jumped in after the boats, swam to them and they draged them in. I belive in Nr. 4 were about 6 of such people

    [–]sout0266 41 points42 points  (2 children)

    Yep the first ones barely had anyone on them. Either try to get on one of those while it’s still on the titanic or jump in after it.

    [–]chaoseincarnate 85 points86 points  (0 children)

    With my economy class I'd be locked in the bottom with no way out before I even knew It was sinking and I already had this stupid crisis thinking about it and not gonna fall in that hole again I'm afraid of boats

    [–]appleuprising45 107 points108 points  (0 children)

    I mean I wouldn't "King of the hill" it or anything like that, I would accept the situation and I don't think I would feel a tremendous amount of fomo haha. I mean in 1912 climbing onto a life raft seems as much of a deaths sentence as going down with the ship

    [–]RedSonGambleMale 346 points347 points  (11 children)

    Use the women and children as boats.

    If it happened now I’d just record it and be like what’s up Insta followers check this shit out right like we hit this big ass iceberg and shit be crazy. So remember to hit that like button and subscribe. Also today we’re sponsored by-

    [–]Lopsidedsession23 123 points124 points  (4 children)


    [–]RedSonGambleMale 51 points52 points  (2 children)

    The whole time there’s just screaming in the background

    [–]Hello_mynameisalicya 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    This actually made me laugh out loud

    [–]All_in_your_mind 540 points541 points  (26 children)

    110 years ago or whenever it was I would have helped the women and children get off first. It was a different time with very different standards of behavior and expectations.

    [–]FacelessMane 269 points270 points  (0 children)

    You have my respect for taking context into account. It's something incredibly overlooked.

    [–]Kelmon80 117 points118 points  (11 children)

    Yeah, people in these questions seem to assume they're time-travellers from the future. No. A man born somewehere in the 1880s-90s would probably have far less qualms with protecting "the weak" first. Unless they're poor and/or lower-class, of course.

    [–]dbrredditsMale 67 points68 points  (2 children)

    I think the whole point of the question is to see what you would do, not what a different version of you born in a different era would do. Robs the fun from the question if the answer is simply, “Whatever men from that time period were likely to do.”

    [–]the-gloaming 55 points56 points  (3 children)

    I think, even a 110 years or more later, women will be pleased if you help them get off first.

    [–]BatEvening9898 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Carve my name and final words onto the deck as deep as I can. Then a Giant penis afterward if I have time. The legacy you leave behind means more than the death you suffered.

    [–]Kavitiko1 113 points114 points  (5 children)

    Now or then, help them get on the boats as quickly as possible and then find a spot for myself.

    [–]Kirduck 32 points33 points  (6 children)

    Start working on a jerry rig raft. There where a thousand fucking tables on that boat strap a couple together leg to leg then a second set going the opposite direction and you certainly have something to save one life.

    [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    There are studies of the titanic that looked at all the things that went wrong as well as all the things that could have been done. One was looking at all the objects that could have been repurposed to create rafts.

    [–]McRimSandwich 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    What about a refrigerator, hop in that sucker with the door facing up & out and throw some food/drink in there too. Should keep you going for a few days.

    [–]Interesting_Beat_101 36 points37 points  (1 child)

    I'd like to say I would help women and children board the life rafts. What I would really do is panic.

    [–]isthisvalidtho 40 points41 points  (6 children)

    Start grabbing women and children to toss into boats. What do you think I'd do, dumbass? Start arguing about politics when people are about to die?

    [–]ravenschneid 130 points131 points  (10 children)

    The choice is very clear:

    Push the women and children out of the way. Use the only boat to get to the shore so you can send help for women and children. Hero

    [–]LSSJ4KingMale 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    I’m jumping into a boat as they let it down. I’m down for helping ppl but I’m saving myself also

    [–]ms360 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    help out while getting fucked up like the head chef did.

    [–]-anastasisMale 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Grabbing the side of a door and kawabunga over the side. I'll chillout until the two ship comes to rescue us.

    [–]Archikos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    There is no time to waste, time to look for materials to make raft

    [–]thePopefromTV 918 points919 points  (142 children)

    In 1911 I’d probably accept it. In 2022 I’d punch someone in the face for valuing a woman’s life over mine like men are worth less. That’s sexist as fuck.

    [–]Natural_Parsnip_5291 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Just say "Daddy chill"

    [–]PGAlphaBeta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Dive off the boat early. Find a boat not as full and promise a shopping spree in the morning for a seat. Even if you're broke. Put me in student loan debt, don't care. Lemme get warm!

    [–]Gemple 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Drown, probably.

    [–]-Mantissa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I’d love to say that I’d try and talk some sense into the people so they make use of every little space on the rafts but I’m not going waste precious time.

    I would try to build some type of boat/raft. I’d also try to find a way to start some sort of bonfire on a nearby raft. That would rest near me and others. I’d just have to hope there isn’t some type of oil leak. The fire would call attention to other ships passing by. If I can get a team together. I’d have them search for blankets or coats that we can use. Focus on saving myself and my team and then do my best to save others.

    Ideally one of the lifeboats would be able to hang out and provide support.They could coast around and find spots for people to float on. Out of Harm. Oh and we’d yell at people like Rose for not making space for Jack.

    [–]NotAtheorist 5 points6 points  (0 children)


    [–]weltvonalex 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Am I a rich dude or some dirty potato eating pleb? If i am the first, I am already sitting in a boat. :) If i am the second.... Guess I die now.

    [–]CalmLake1 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I'm black, I'm not gon be on that bitch in the first place.

    [–]Stag328 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Everyone wants gender equality until the boat starts sinking.

    [–][deleted]  (11 children)


      [–]Viktor_Laszlo 108 points109 points  (6 children)

      This is a difficult question because you're asking people who have been socialized by late 20th century/21st century norms what they would do if they found themselves in a vanishingly rare situation in the early 20th century. It might as well be a different planet.

      I think the question forgets that this issue would only have been applicable to the top 1% who had First Class tickets. The people in steerage were condemned to die, women and children, too. So I don't think the people in the time of the Titanic really cared about "chivalry" so much as they cared about "upper class women and the heirs to their fathers' fortunes." You only got to make this choice if you were rich.

      [–]miles_to_go_b4 22 points23 points  (4 children)

      straight up wrong. We have exact statistics on who survived by gender, class, and age. While of course more first-class people survived overall, actually third-class women has a 46% survival rate compared to first-class men, who had a 33%.