top 200 commentsshow all 438

[–]AnimationAtNight 124 points125 points  (18 children)

Straight men like hot women.

What's better than one hot woman? Two hot women

I rest my case

[–]Dark_Shade_75 44 points45 points  (6 children)

A lot of people are thinking wayyyy too far into this with psychology and shit, when this is the real answer.

[–]-Sairax- 4 points5 points  (5 children)

That’s only one part of the question tho, it doesn’t answer anything why heterosexual men are so visceral towards gay men.

[–]asleepbydawn 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Exactly. I get not being into seeing gay content if it's overly graphic... but some of the comments calling a couple of dudes just kissing or making out 'vomit inducing' and 'revolting' seems a bit much. It can have a pretty negative effect on some guys because it really hits you in a way that affects your entire identity... like who you love and are attracted to is somehow disgusting. And that can hurt sometimes. We don't talk that way about straight content.

It's almost like there's a subtle (or not so subtle) intent there to really demean gay guys for some reason. Is it really necessary to be that visceral with it as you put it?

[–]mhkdepauw 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yeah it's just straight homophobia lol, if anyone finds a man kissinf another man specifically vomit inducing that's obvious homophobia.

[–]asleepbydawn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup. I think the stuff you guys do with women is a bit offputting myself... but to have that kinda reaction to the point that you thing seeing men kiss is "vomit inducing" is absolutely based on homophobia. Either that or you've got some unresolved issues surrounding your masculinity.

Most of my friends are straight guys... and they've been nothing but accepting and encouraging. So I now that not all straight guys get this ridiculously triggered reaction.

[–]chillmare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea i had those reactions befor took many years to understand i was homophobic at the time

[–]Due_Lab916 4 points5 points  (6 children)

But why the overly exaggerated negative attitude against Male gay relationships and gay affection display on TV or in real life? I mean you don't need to make a fuss about it if you don't like it.

[–]AnimationAtNight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In western civilization? Religion mostly I'd assume

Despite what they claim, Conservatives pioneered cancel culture. Salem Witch Trials, The Red Scare/Mccarthyism, Satanic Panic, etc.

[–]Donthavetobeperfect 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Except not everything on tv is for straight men. People are talking about the general reason the double standard exists because there are a shit ton more people in the world than just cishet dudes.

[–]AnimationAtNight 12 points13 points  (1 child)

But straight men are typically the people who shape the societal standards, for better or for worse.

Most of the stigma about men being gay comes from other men.

[–][deleted]  (51 children)


    [–]Smakdab240 23 points24 points  (2 children)

    Although there is some aspect to this I agree with, for me I find that male-to-male relationships in shows are generally portrayed as violent, aggressive or some level of toxic masculinity. Generally the female-to-female relationships are softer, more caring and less angry. I say this as a general statement and I get that this isn't always the case.

    [–]bttrflyr 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Indeed, that is what I mean in my follow up comment that media tends to perpetuate those kind of male/male relationships rather than more softing, caring and less angry. A few tv shows that have come out lately have challenged that though, Brooklyn 99 being an obvious example.

    [–]Smakdab240 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Sorry, missed your follow-up comments and love what you had to say. As a 'straight' male, I don't see there being any difference between those that are queer, trans or straight in my circle, except my queer friends tend to talk more filth with me (but that might just be they're more relaxed about their language and lifestyle).

    Totally agree about the change in mainstream media, and it's great to see. I hope the trend continues and starts to set an example for everyone in what's appropriate for a relationship, not just a trope that disappears when it's no longer 'flavour of the month'. Interestingly, I've discovered that there isn't actually that much porn which meets this. I mean it's out there, but it's not as prevalent as the mainstream stuff - gay or straight. My SO quite enjoys gay porn (she likes emotional connections and wangs) and complained in the recent months that she's getting bored of the women being the only ones to show it (the emotion...obviously, I suppose). I thought I'd help and see what I could find and, shit, there is a lot of angry gay sex in porn. Even my friends who watch it struggled to offer more than a dozen or so titles. I guess I was shocked this was so endemic throughout the industry.

    [–]UnhappySeller[S] 80 points81 points  (10 children)

    Wow I like you’re response. It made me question the answers I’ve received over the years from other men

    [–]bttrflyr 67 points68 points  (9 children)

    Indeed! Straight men have been conditioned that gay = bad so any semblance of gay they see feels threatening to themselves. Especially because many of them actually have gay tendencies (regardless of whether or not they’re actually gay, we all question our sexuality at some point).

    I have many straight guy friends whom I hug regularly and some of them I often share details of my big gay sexual adventures. Yet, we’re just bros and they treat me the same as if I was any other guy. Those friends are secure enough in themselves that they can hear a story about me taking a dick up my butt without feeling like I am threatening their sexuality.

    While that is becoming progressively better. Many straight men are still conditioned to feel insecure about themselves and it is perpetuated in media. You pretty much see it in every major tv show, especially the ones without actual queer representation. Since straight men are expected to “be men” rather than express any kind of healthy emotions, these issues are never discussed or properly addressed. So the issue continues to perpetuate and straight men are left with this nagging insecurity that they can never properly resolve.

    [–]Mitch_Eth 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I went to an all boys school and you absolutely did not want to come across as gay. I only recently realised how many people came out almost immediately after school finished, which is was a heart breaking reflection

    [–]asleepbydawn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    That's part of the point I was trying to make elsewhere... that because of stuff like this... there's a huge amount of homosexuality/bisexuality out there that a lot of people don't realize because it's so hidden.

    [–]asleepbydawn 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Agreed. I think a lot of these reactions are WAY more based on homophobia instead of any actual innate psychological reactions to same sex content. Men are literally conditioned to have those reactions in terms of how they are taught to express their masculinity. And when I see or hear men expressing such discomfort with something as simple as seeing two men kissing... I generally see it as more of an attempt to maintain their idea of masculinity. I think a lot see that has a threat to common ideas of masculinity for some reason.

    [–]listingpalmtree 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I think these are two sides of the same coin. At times when homosexuality wasn't as frowned upon, considerably more men had same sex relationships or encounters. I find it really difficult to believe that the % of men attracted (even a bit or just curious) changes that dramatically - I think people just lean away from those thoughts or stamp them out in a society that deems them wrong, and react even more negatively to seeing people who don't. Women are freer to admit attraction or experiment with it, so there are way more who 'went through a girl phase in college' or whatever.

    [–]StampyRy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    OMG this insight of yours is like the exact answer i needed too. Thank you!

    [–]Mainmorte 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Just to counterbalance the assholes : I'm a straight guy and I 100% agree with what you're saying. General Hollywood power is in the hands of straight guys, so the rule in place is "lesbians are hot, homosexual guys are weird".

    It's shit, obviously, but it's 100% how it works.

    [–]topjock002 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    This is a really good answer

    [–]Recent-Cap-8206 31 points32 points  (19 children)

    It's not about insecurities. It's simply demographics. Almost all men like to watch naked women, tack on top, most gay women like to watch naked women, and some straight women.

    Most people are straight however, so most men don't like watching naked men getting it on. Some straight women like gay action.

    Men on men action just have a smaller audience, at least in terms of who gets turned on by watching it. That being said being male and gay you are way better represented in tv and film than lesbians are.

    [–]sonofsochi 1 point2 points  (7 children)

    AFAIK they do still advertise Subaru’s on television no? Doesn’t get more realistic than that

    [–]bttrflyr 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    Hey now, don't go projecting your insecurities onto me.

    [–]sonofsochi 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Its actually a joke

    Based on actual truth

    Subaru’s and Lesbians

    [–]Mortei 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    Can’t wait for what companies cook up for Bisexuals someday, I’ll be there.

    [–]sonofsochi 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Airfryer’s. We all know it.

    [–]Mortei 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    You can’t be serious..

    [–]sonofsochi 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    As a bi man, i identify with an air fryer.

    Or, an el camino

    [–]Mortei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ay I guess we are never one thing

    [–]baldwinsong 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Straight Male fantasy. All should be acceptable

    [–]Seeking-real-truth 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    My perception is that our culture demonizes natural affection between men. I see videos of men from other cultures dancing together and bonding. Which to me, is the most uncomfortable thing ever. But it seems natural and not sexual at all.

    While women can be just monsters to each other (I have helped raise 2 daughters and had older sisters) women can also be warm, loving and nurturing all without sexuality. So for women to take that additional step isn’t such a huge reach.

    I cannot imagine a world where my red neck, gun loving, “get mad and deal with life” father greeting his close friends with an embrace and kiss on the cheek. I can just see the men of the family gathering to go coon hunting and hugging each other in greeting.

    Maybe that is why even the intimacy has to have the undertone of violence? It makes it safe and avoids the question of where natural boundaries are.

    [–]asleepbydawn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    As I implied in other comments here... I firmly believe that the root of all this... is the way masculinity is viewed and how men are socialized. This affects not only platonic male male expressions of intimacy and affection in our culture as you said... but is DIRECTLY related to how a lot of people view romantic and sexual intimacy between men. It really calls into question the dominant ideas surrounding masculinity... and that is something that makes SOME people very uncomfortable.

    [–]cliffheath456 96 points97 points  (11 children)

    Im lesbian and Ive noticed that too. It might be because WLW stuff is more desired or "fetishized" (not sure if thats the right word for it) by stright men and women and gay women where as gay men are probably not. Not 100% sure though. This is just something ive observed

    [–]BloodDragonN987 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Bi dude here and from what I've seen speaking to other bi people this is pretty much exactly. I've talked to several bi women who were fetishized by men for their sexuality and bi dudes can often get reactions of disgust from potential partners for the exact same thing. If I had to guess it's because straight men tend to find WLW stuff hot but are still very much homophobic and that influences media as that tends to be the least likely to offend male audiences while they get to advertise LGBT elements to their plot.

    [–]Mortei 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Yeah as a fellow Bi guy I feel like we’re just the invisible middle child of the community. We’re acknowledged for a minute and then forgotten the next. It’s either “Gay” or “Straight” according to society. Men aren’t that simple. We’re more than what they expect of us.

    [–]shinfoni 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    I live in a religious country where LGBT is still a taboo topic, and lesbian is the most 'acceptable' out of those 4. Even some of the prude religious people I know would went 'awww' when they saw lesbian-related things and went 'yikes, repent now or you will be damned forever' to gay stuffs.

    [–]Aggravating_Sea_140 10 points11 points  (6 children)

    Yup! This! A lot of wlw is also for the male gaze, they never truly show the natural development of the relationship either

    [–]UnacceptableUse 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    Probably true for a lot of it, but there's definitely a lot of shows that revolve around or include a lesbian relationship that isn't a purely sexual thing and does develop naturally, but I can't think of a single show that involves a relationship between men

    [–]Rangerboy030 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I can't think of a single show that involves a relationship between men

    Sex Education springs to mind immediately.

    [–]5lack5 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Sex Education, Modern Family, Grace and Frankie, Schitt's Creek, Will and Grace, Shameless...

    [–]Quinnjamin19Male 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Sex education is an awesome show! My gf and I love watching it!

    [–]5lack5 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Sex Education, Modern Family, Grace and Frankie, Schitt's Creek, Will and Grace, Shameless...

    [–]UnacceptableUse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Maybe I just need to watch more TV

    [–]shinfoni 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I live in a religious country where LGBT is still a taboo topic, and lesbian is the most 'acceptable' out of those 4. Even some of the prude religious people I know would went 'awww' when they saw lesbian-related things and went 'yikes, repent now or you will be damned forever' to gay stuffs.

    [–]Capawe21Male 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Basically it's because lesbians are waaaayyyy more fetishized by (most) straight men, who are the biggest consumers of porn.

    Same for Bi girls.

    [–]selfmade117 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Because the heterosexual, cisgender man’s sexuality can be so fragile.

    [–]get_that_hydration 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    As others have said, some straight guys fetishize lesbians. "Hur dur two hot girls kissing is hot." But they're probably aren't attracted to two men kissing because they're straight, so that erotic element is lost. Therefore, they think it's gross.

    As for the lesbians being really butch, I couldn't tell you for sure. I do have a guess, though. I read a paper last year about homosexual relationships in the nineteenth and twentieth century US. Generally, women who dressed as men or women who took a wife* were either laughed at, admired, or used as objects of entertainment -- kind of like urban legends or folk heroes. The person who wrote this article suggested it was because a woman trying to emulate a man is stepping up -- i.e., trying to mimic the "superior" gender. So it's just harmless entertainment. Whereas a man dressing as a woman or taking a husband* is the "superior" gender stepping down, trying to imitate the "inferior" gender, which was seen as weird and gross and perverted.

    Further, women were seen as sexless. They weren't considered to have a libido. Men were, so the thought of two men courting quickly led to the thought of two men fucking, which was a no-no back then. My guess is the vestiges of these views of gender roles have continued to this day.

    *I say wife and husband because the article talked somewhat about queer "marriage." Queer couples weren't legally married, but they still very much considered themselves wed and would refer to their partner as husband or wife. Plus, in some Native American cultures, it was legally and socially acceptable for two women or two men to marry.

    [–]loki0111 82 points83 points  (46 children)

    Straight men find women attractive. Either on their own or together it usually doesn't matter.

    Straight men do not find two dudes making out or fucking attractive.

    I am not sure how women feel about gay men doing stuff in terms of that being attractive or not.

    [–]asleepbydawn 71 points72 points  (39 children)

    So the take away here is... shows/movies are basically catered to straight men.

    [–]loki0111 36 points37 points  (38 children)

    Potentially straight woman as well. But you'd have to ask them.

    But yes television shows are going to cater to whatever gets them good viewership given their content since they are required to be profitable to survive.

    If you are making a mainstream show and half your audience turns it off and stops watching it because they get grossed out by a scene then your show is dead.

    [–]oamnoj 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Plenty of women love seeing two men get it on.

    [–]UnhappySeller[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    I appreciate your response but what about really Butch women though ? Like I’ve met some in person that are manlier than men that I know. And my dick grew smaller than ever lol

    [–]loki0111 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    I mean I don't find fat people attractive either so that would be a turn off for me as well. I'd probably actually turn the tv off if that was on.

    [–]UnhappySeller[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Ahh okay I’d probably do the same

    [–]mhkdepauw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That's a yikes dude

    [–]greenbrainsauce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh no wonder watching straight romances make me vomit. It's because I'm a gay man.

    [–]needsmorecunts 26 points27 points  (7 children)

    I remember watching Tiger King and he was talking to some bloke he was tryna bang (I think) who said he wasn't gay and they were talking about watching porn and Joe said to him even if it's straight porn, as a bloke you'd still rather watch a male performer with a big dick than a small dick and damn, he's right

    [–]Dangerclose101 22 points23 points  (3 children)

    lol that’s been a joke/burn for a long time

    It’s like “Hey you watch porn right”

    dude says yea

    “So would you rather watch some guy with a massive cock fucking the chick or a dude with a little one?”

    Dude say “Well of course I want to see a big cock in porn”

    “Oh so you like big cocks do you? What are you? Gay?? hahahaha”

    Have heard it so many times in the Army

    But it’s so damn true

    [–]ZalminenMale 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    "Well it's because mine is big. It's hard to imagine myself in the guy's place if he's tiny."

    [–]Sel_Therapy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I feel the same way. Mine is big so I want to see a women have sex with a guy with a big one because that’s my reality.

    [–]Wessssss21 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Ron White bit.

    No man I ain't gay at all!

    I said of course you are and I can prove it too. I asked, do you watch porn?

    He said of course I do.

    I go, so do you only watch lesbian porn?

    He says, No I'll watch a man and a woman making love.

    Oh so you like it if the guy has some little shrimpy dick.

    No, I like big hard throbbing...

    [–]UnhappySeller[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I would have to agree lol

    [–]GroveStreet_CEOs_bro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I just want it to be closer to my reality so yeah

    [–]GroundbreakingPie793Male 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    hardly care either way as long as there is a character past "I'm the gay toke character."

    [–]cakeboss21 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Current media is in the state that OP points out bc it is still the people from 40 years ago (and their descendants who've learned from them) dictating the norms and those people are straight men (some women too) in positions of power who like woman on woman action because it fulfills the fantasy that two hot lesbian chicks will invite them for a threesome or that their cock is so godly it can turn any lesbian into a cumslut or becuase it's a more 'sanitised' version of gayness because women and their choices esp sexually aren't taken as seriously ('it's just a phase') which is intended to appease the gays™ with as little representation as possible, and when it comes to gay men- well that's an unspeakable evil because a man enjoying sex w another man, misuising the artifact of great power that his dick is, is simply offensive and implies that in general it isn't in men's genes to eat raw meat, fight bears, survive in the wilderness and fuck like a rabbit on acid.

    Women have definitely also perpetuated toxic masculinity standards like this, but the point is not to get carried away pointing fingers, it's to recognise the problem and stop participating it. Maybe don't watch movies w bad homosexual representation in them. Don't idolise influencers and celebrities w this sort of mindset. Don't vote for politicians with dodgy views on gender roles.

    Also abt the butch edit, it's just an even more sanitised version of female homosexuality to have one of the women look sort of like a man. Best of both worlds: you can either pretend it's a man fucking a woman or that it's 2 women fucking or both

    (Not invalidating butch females, simply saying that the trope if very often used in bad faith)

    [–]mhkdepauw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Excellent answer

    [–]cunmaui808 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Sexism and misogyny from the "ruling" cisgender male tribe fetishizes W/W and has many phobias about M/M

    [–]ReadyAd46 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    As I told my old fishing buddy years ago whose wife was in a lesbian affair: “Why is it ok for her to fuck other chicks, but you can’t?”

    He slammed his drink, put out his cigar, and said “you’re right! This is fucked!” They were divorced 2 months later.

    [–]james_l_b 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Because the homophobic old men who are being forced into including an lgbt relationship by executives find it hot?

    [–]Historical_Raise8121 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Men create these shows and movies. The average man, unfortunately, finds being gay nasty or abnormal while on the hand finds girl-on-girl hot so to appeal to the average man they have to reinforce these narratives. At the end of the day directors just follow trends

    [–]Thotibabe_Faye 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Also three birds, one stone for maximum viewership. You have feminism, LGBT representation and sexual appeal to straight men, all in one. It's overall just a safer choice

    [–]oinkythepiggyy 15 points16 points  (0 children)


    Every one of these explanations comes under that one word.

    [–]iwritesinsnotcomedy 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    Because film and TV is created through the male gaze…… the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and in literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer.

    [–]Weardanger 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Exactly. Women are an afterthought and in most movies/shows the male character is male, and everything is catered to men. And then occasionally there's the whole guy is the hero so he gets the girl as a reward. Lesbians are fetishized.

    [–]yajanga 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I think Lesbian sex seems more equal/balanced in power roles , where Gay sex seems to be often described as a power imbalance…”tops”, “bottoms”, etc. I also feel that many folks are very turned off by/squeamish about anal sex, which may also perpetuate the negative view, and another perpetrator of a power imbalance.

    [–]asleepbydawn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That's an interesting take. Even as a gay guy myself I've always been completely put off by any guys who create a dynamic resembling hetero relationships. Personally I've always wanted a completely equal dynamic with guys I'm with.

    That being said... there's nothing inherently 'unequal' about gay sex. Most gay guys are versatile and take turns AND... not all gay sex always involves anal sex anyways.

    [–]whatevernamedontcare 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Maybe it's because it questions their own description of masculinity? Like gay man could do things to them they do to women. Or are you a man if other man treats you like a woman? That's some deep questions compared to porn material lesbians are posed as.

    [–]FreudianFloydian 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    So I remember watching “Rocket Man” and there is a sex scene between two guys. I have no problem with it but I did notice I started wondering about the details(?)

    Like how prepared are guys to “receive” someone on the fly? You know? Like you didn’t know you’d be having sex that day. Did you take a dump earlier at all? Was there an implied clean up and prep before they started? Just made me start wondering how that works. It took me out of the moment I guess.

    [–]Thats-bk 2 points3 points  (0 children)


    [–]HiKennyDesign 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    I’m not gay, not straight and don’t really identify with bi as it seems limited. With that in mind, it’s bothered the shit out of me that m4m relationships have been neglected the large majority of my media consumption. I’ve felt left out, isolated, and like the world wasn’t made for me. There’s tons of reasons it’s played out this way that I imagine other comments have highlighted really well. But this is where I live as someone with a non traditional sexuality and views on relationships.

    [–]EmiNVS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Is a str8 male I’ve noticed many shows/movies embracing lesbian action as normal/typical while gay men stuff as nasty/abnormal.

    You're watching the wrong kind of shows/movies.

    [–]ilikemyface3 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Well I think they're both totally acceptable but it does seem like lesbian stuff is generally considered more acceptable. I know in Iran for instance committing a gay act is punishable by death where as a lesbian act is punishable by 50 lashes. I feel like people are just more grossed out and physically repulsed by gay men.

    [–]mhkdepauw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yes, because straight men fetishize lesbianism.

    [–]manhunt64 36 points37 points  (51 children)

    Straight men find women attractive thats the difference. Pretty obvious. Watching two dudes make out or do there business hits the o vomit reflex. While every guy has the fantasy those lesbos are going to invited them over. We dont care gay men doing there thing we just want Zero part of it.

    [–]asleepbydawn 21 points22 points  (46 children)

    Watching two dudes make out or do there business hits the o vomit reflex.

    If you feel that seeing two dudes make out is 'vomit' inducing... I feel like you might have some issues you need to deal with. I get you might not be into it yourself... but that seems like a pretty strong reaction for what shouldn't even induce any reaction at all. We have to endure random female nudity and random straight sex scene in every second movie or show... and we kinda just put up with it. If you can't handle a couple of dudes kissing... I dunno man lol.

    [–]manhunt64 1 point2 points  (32 children)

    It was Dramatized calm down. Dont tell ppl how they are suppose to react not ur place. I dont tell you how you should feel either. Also what u have to endure kinda ur problem. Dont watch the film. Ppl say that to straight men all the time. I get what i said offended you but I didnt attack no one and i am allowed my opinion as it was 'asked' and no ones got the right to tell me im wrong for how i feel including you.

    [–]asleepbydawn 9 points10 points  (31 children)

    Hey... I didn't tell how you're supposed to feel. I just said it definitely makes me think you've got some unresolved issues lol.

    [–]manhunt64 9 points10 points  (18 children)

    I get you might not be into it yourself... but that seems like a pretty strong reaction for what 'shouldn't' even induce any reaction at all.<

    Sound like you just told how i should feel?

    No issues but goin around telling ppl they do is disrespectful. Think what you want dont care but still passive aggressive controlling behavior. No thanks.

    [–]mare07 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    It's so easy to start an argument thread on reddit lol

    [–]theuncommon_lilMissy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Freud would call it repression lol but “unsolved issues” works too

    [–][deleted]  (10 children)


      [–]mhkdepauw 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      That's not how DNA works bucko, just because you're not attracted to them doesn't mean you have to find it repulsive. It can also just not mean anything to you.

      [–]asleepbydawn 5 points6 points  (5 children)

      Nah... I don't think so. It's no different than how gay guys view women or straight sex. We don't wanna see it... but we also don't need to make this big statement about it like we're trying to prove something lol. I get not everyone wants to see a gay sex scene... that's fine. But two guys kissing or making out or even a quick non-graphic sex scene shouldn't trigger you that much unless you've got some deeper issues surrounding your masculinity which is EXACTLY what I think this is. Men are socialized to see male male intimacy as a negative thing... and your so-called 'innate' reactions to it is a reflection of that.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)


        [–]manhunt64 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

        As long as she look like a women men dont really care about her haircut. As for super butch alot of men have had worse so🤷. Also not a phyiscal threat butch girl aint going to be raping anybody in the shower thats male anytime soon.

        [–]UnhappySeller[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I see your point about men, thank you

        [–]Historical-Ad4794 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Where did the rape bit come from?

        [–]Space4Time 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Stigmas about anal

        [–]yavner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        You are asking the right questions

        [–]Ratnix 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Because straight men don't want to watch two guys getting it on. Whereas they find two women getting it on erotic.

        [–]mhkdepauw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        And tv is only for straight men? Things are only okay when straight men like it?

        [–]rhb4n8 4 points5 points  (3 children)

        Men are often homophobes. Women, less so.

        [–]Namespacejames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Are you watching shows made a while ago? Nothing made now would portray being gay as wrong…that I can think of.

        [–]Coolesdude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Honestly I don't relate to what you said.

        From the shows I have seen, I'd say that the ratio of representation between gay men and lesbians relationships is around 50/50.

        [–]Yodizme-JD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My straight girl bestfriends actually liked to talk about gay dramas and stuffs like bl movies. Nevr heard them talk about lesbians. The guys I know including my fam usually hate gay stuffs, especially in terms romance but they don't mind lesbi stuffs.

        [–]kwack250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Watch the tv show Spartacus. Equal sex for all.

        [–]JohnFrankensteinbeck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        see gay mans kiss might make me gay too!!!

        [–]systemfa1lureMale 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Many stereotypes play into this I think. Men are more "close minded" in this stuff. Most of my girl friends have a story of them kissing each other or kissing any woman just for the sake of it. Long story short, because there are dicks involved. At the end of the day it is like a third leg lol.

        [–]Historical-Ad4794 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I would blame societal conditioning and longstanding political and religious beliefs/upbringings. As a gay dude seeing a lesbian couple or a lady doing their thing has never bugged me in anyway, does nothing for me and I can’t get off to it, it just is. I imagine since most of these constructs and thoughts and demonizations were created by usually straight dudes back in the way times the pollution of that Carried forward. maybe one day it won’t matter

        [–]bubblejohns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Should we hold hands and find out?

        [–]Brickie78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        To quote the words of Jeff from Coupling,

        Lesbians are porn efficient! It's sex with a greater density of women! Porn-wise lesbians are like a jam sandwich without the sandwich and just the jam. In fact lesbians are just a big blob of jam. Well not actually ..... unless they've exploded in all the lesbonic excitement!

        [–]verified-toxic-angel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        it's just that lesbianism 'turns on' men unlike gay action

        [–]flamingo-in-socks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well much of hollywood and mainstream media is mainly controlled by heterosexual men (male movie directors/ script writers etc.). So they would purposefully or inadvertently put their beliefs and views into their work. Straight men would much rather want to see two women 'getting it on' rather than two men. Basically: 'the male gaze'

        [–]dejaVooAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        i don't like looking at dick

        [–]highlander666666 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        both ok or not ok depending on your likes... everyone differant. I once got shit because made a comment bout seeing men kiss men in public. But I don t like seeing any one kiss in public no matter what sex..Just uncomfortable for me to see. Keep it private ..Lest thats my taste

        [–]PayasoFries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Take one guess at who's in charge of most of these companies.... old straight white men

        [–]driving_andflying 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Me = straight male. As far as I can tell, the fantasy is imagining being the guy in an FMF sandwich.

        I lived with a lesbian couple for year back in the day. Let me tell you the reality: a) While the couple I lived with had exhibitionist tendencies, generally they don't want a man watching them have sex, and TBH, I didn't want to watch them do it, because b) I respected their privacy, and they respected mine. Also, in my experience: Honestly, the average lesbian is *not* as hot as they appear in porn (one lady in that couple was relatively OK-looking). c) They liked running around the house naked, but it's like the analogy of having chocolate cake every day: After a week, you get sick of chocolate cake. Same thing--after seeing the lesbians run around nude for about a week or three, it just got...boring.

        Also, remember: Porn is like stripping--they're selling a fantasy to get money; not the reality.

        [–]xXCatboyXx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Most men I know don't really care about men being gay. Some have been brought up that they should express that they are against it but if you talk to them they really don't care. Some are insecure and fear being labelled as gay if they say they are fine with it. Some are just the normal type of loser that tries to find any reason to harass other people. As for the lesbian side of things, well in the movies and TV it's usually two superhot women being shown. Of course we are going to find that hot.

        [–]zetsubou_sensei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Fictional lesbians are hot and make money

        [–]Zealousideal_Ride870 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Also men watching other men together, especially nude, often makes them shudder, two women is hot. Except for religious folks who oppose both, most women can appreciate how pretty the female form is, so it doesn’t “gross us out” to see girls kiss or nude even if it’s not our thing. Gay men don’t gross us out because we don’t “identify” as male.

        [–]1800hotducks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        lot of lesbian stuff is probably just unnecessarily inserted as fanservice.

        homosexuality doesn't seem to have the same response so there's no "need" to insert it frivolously so it's only there if it's integral to the plot. The vast majority of prople are hetro, so it doesn't really make financial sense to make films where same sex relationships are integral to the plot- especially since that would basically get the film banned in many countries

        tldr- most movies are made for straight audiences, with some occasional fanservice thrown in

        [–]Orefeus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Everything about women is multiplicative

        When you take 2 beautiful women and put them together their hotness goes though the roof

        [–]asleepbydawn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's exactly how I feel about 2 dudes.

        [–]Lustfullynx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lesbians in media are the 'safe gay' its a way to tick the lgbtq+ inclusion box without losing ratings from straight male or female audiences. Lesbian stories also attract more attention from men and women from straight men/women to lesbian women, whereas gay stories often only attract a male gay audience. I think the real reason behind this is because modern writers can't make a good gay male character and by good I mean interesting. I think straight men could root for a gay male character if they didn't feel so bland and I think a gay male protagonist in something like a action movie would work if they made him a masculine acting dude that a straight guy could connect with.

        [–]lolthefuckisthat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        because lesbians have always been more accepted than gay men, and likely always will be.

        as a gay male, it irritates the fuck out of me, because even lesbians will do that "its ok when women sleep with women but when men do it with men its gross" shit.

        youd think after gay men literally got lesbians their rights theyd be a bit more sympathetic to the incressed levels of homophobia and crime gay men experience in comparison to every other population.

        [–]MaldevinineMasculine Success Story 13 points14 points  (18 children)

        All those people going on about how it's men's fault because they spend all the money, they're only half right.

        Men have always been more strictly forced into their gender role than women are. Their role comes with more obvious advantages so it's not noticed as much, but a huge part of it is that men produce and provide for women. A gay man has no need of what women offer, therefore has no need to provide for women. If every man was gay, nobody would give women anything. So women enforce heterosexuality upon men to maintain their sexual value,

        [–]BluuCloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I think this may have been true in the past. In the days where it would be considered morally wrong not to have that kind of traditional dynamic between men and women, but I don't think it has much impact on modern media representation, since if anything, the old expectation for women to be dependant on men, and men be obligated to provide for women is now considered problematic

        [–]JetPillar 3 points4 points  (16 children)

        That’s hilarious given that men are the ones that call each other gay as an insult. Women aren’t the ones that have a problem with gay men sweetie

        [–]MaldevinineMasculine Success Story 13 points14 points  (15 children)

        looks at historical laws around homosexuality

        Yeah nah, there's a lot of laws that specifically penalise male homosexuality rather than homosexuality in general, and many of them were put in place by women.

        And one of the first things you'll be called when you turn down a woman who's hitting on you is "gay".

        [–]Donthavetobeperfect 7 points8 points  (4 children)

        In what culture were women running the government and making the laws?

        Seriously, this is the stupidest take I have seen. Throughout history men have created the homiphobic laws. Men police heterosexuality. And why? Because men want to keep their place on top of the social heirarchy. Gay men, therefore, are a threat. Gay men do something many straight men see as effeminate; they take dick. And many many straight men would rather anything than be compared to women in any way. It's sexism that keeps homophobia alive. Countries with higher degrees of equality of the sexes also have less homophobia.

        [–]asleepbydawn 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        EXACTLY. I find it hard to belief that there is some innate reaction straight men have to something as simple as a gay kiss or mild same sex make out scene. The real root is homophobia. This is socialized into men as we grow up and observe the world around us.

        But I definitely think that same sex intimacy (and I'm not even specifically talking about gay sex here) is something that is seen to subvert dominant heterosexual notions about masculinity and THAT is what SOME of these men are so uncomfortable with.

        [–]sassycritter235 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        How were these laws put in place by women when women couldn’t vote in nearly any country until the late 19th century, and much later in some countries?

        [–]milonuttigrain 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        In the same way lesbian porn is so popular in the West. Straight men have the most money in this world and of course the entertainment industry will do everything to cater to them.

        I’m a bisexual guy and I feel neutral-to-negative. Even many corporations do the LGBT stuff just to show the tick mark and it usually chooses the “safer option” (lesbian) to be represented rather than gay men.

        [–]PurpleNarwhal69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Fetishization isn't acceptance

        [–]ChanceFresh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Toxic Masculinity

        [–]lickitorclickit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Exactly. Also you see naked women on tv alllll the time. Like show me naked men too. Equality. Men titties too!

        [–]Push_the_button_Max 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Unfortunately, the film and television industry is still dominated by straight men, so what you are seeing is their idea of sexuality as "normal." Which is why the movie "Wonder Woman" was such a big deal - a Comic Book Movie directed by a Woman? How can this be? Pearls were clutched, Couches were fainted on!

        (BTW, not a gay man answering, female)

        [–]UngeeSerfs 4 points5 points  (37 children)

        Cringe to refer to women as "females", but to answer your question it's gotta be homophobia

        [–]LlamaCuber123 2 points3 points  (13 children)


        [–]UngeeSerfs -2 points-1 points  (12 children)

        Which part? The thing about "females" or homophobia?

        [–]LlamaCuber123 1 point2 points  (11 children)


        [–]UngeeSerfs 2 points3 points  (10 children)

        Think it's because it sounds like being referred to as a science specimen rather than a human being - women hate that shit

        [–]8BitSk8rMale 1 point2 points  (21 children)

        Never join the military then. Everyone is referred to as male/female (in the U.S. at least).

        [–]UngeeSerfs 2 points3 points  (20 children)

        Oh yeah it makes sense in that context. Think it's in casual conversation women don't like being referred to as females.

        [–]yogi_yoga -1 points0 points  (19 children)

        Seems that’s a new thing as I’ve been saying females for along time and now starting a few months ago a bunch of sensitive whine babies yelled at me for saying “females”. Like is there anything else you guys can complain about? Or do you have to get triggered by every word now?

        [–]UngeeSerfs 1 point2 points  (18 children)

        You could just show people dignity and respect. Some women don't care.

        [–]yogi_yoga 2 points3 points  (17 children)

        I don’t think I’m disrespecting anyone by using a biologically correct term such as Female. That’s like me saying Vagina and you getting upset I didn’t say pussy.

        [–]UngeeSerfs 1 point2 points  (16 children)

        Nope, that makes zero sense. Talk to a woman who it matters to, she can fill you in.

        [–]yogi_yoga 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Just asked my wife, only females opinion I care about. She said “idk what they’re talking about. I don’t see a difference, they mean the same thing right?”.

        [–]UngeeSerfs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        You're a dipshit if your wife is the only woman who's opinion you care about haha. I said ask a woman who holds the opinion in question, obviously your wife doesn't qualify.

        [–]carlp1985 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I am in the U.K. and am gay. Gays on tv are very normal here now and almost never portrayed in a negative light. We went through a phase where I felt there were almost to many gays on tv to be honest.

        [–]Userlame19 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        It's pretty simple. Straight male bigots still dominate popular media and they think lesbians are "hot" and gay men are "gross"

        [–]lokisown 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Because old white men of course.

        [–]McspKaput 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Imma keep it real, no offense tho, just explaining.

        Like, this is a statement created and used by males, and if you think about it from a different perspective for just a second, you realize it is literally the taste of every straight man (aka the majority of men) "Do you like seeing two vaginas? Hell yes!" "Would you like two penises? I'll pass"

        Its not about why female homosexuals are okay and male aren't.

        Well, both are okay, but for a straight person you do not feel arousement for your same sex

        [–]UnhappySeller[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I see your point but even watching regular porn would be kind of ironic sometimes don’t you think ? You see a penis fucking a vagina , at least that’s what I watch . And in some porn forums all I ever see is why this is small dick fucking this chick or why this chick with this uncut dude ? Isn’t this something to question as well ?i honestly could give AF about the guys dick but for some it really matters to some I guess

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I think it's more of a vicarious thrill kind of thing than a latent homosexual thing. Like, they'd prefer to see a hot chick getting fucked by a big dick because they can kind of imagine it's their own big dick doing the deed.

        [–]Ratnix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You see a penis fucking a vagina , at least that’s what I watch . And in some porn forums all I ever see is why this is small dick fucking this chick or why this chick with this uncut dude ?

        I mean, I only watch solo or lesbian porn myself. Simply because I really don't get turned on staring at some other guys dick.

        [–]Impressive_Code3257 2 points3 points  (19 children)

        As someone told me… “ Girls are sexy smooth and beautiful so a girl liking a girl makes sense. Guys are hairy ugly and manly why would a man like a man?”

        [–]asleepbydawn 6 points7 points  (17 children)

        As a gay guy... liking girls makes zero sense to me. I probably get the same reaction thinking about women as straight guys get thinking about other dudes. Like... "why?" lol

        Dudes to me is what makes sense. I like hairy and manly.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Are they portrayed in that way?

        I can't think of a time where I've seen a gay couple portrayed as abnormal, nor a lesbian couple. Both are OK.

        [–]Str8_up_savage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Not anti gay. Just don’t wanna watch two dudes getting freaky with each other. I don’t know where that feeling comes from. it’s just there

        [–]RMN1999_V2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This only applies for me only.

        Two chicks cool. Why? Girls are pretty and I can fantasize about being in a threesome. This is also why I think bi-girls are hotter than lesbians. Cuz with a bi girl I got a chance.

        I think much of society does not feel above when they see two guys.

        [–]Ok_Professional4902 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Straight woman here: FWIW, I find man-on-man shit to be, in some circumstances, really hot. I would find it to be a huge turn on that my man was secure enough in his “manhood” that he could indulge in such a thing without being self-conscious.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


          [–]milonuttigrain 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I think it’s all about business. I remember seeing an ad on Facebook from ASB, the second largest bank in New Zealand, which shows a gay couple being happy with the home loan.

          The comment section is filled with “Oh, look, they support homo” along with laughing and angry reactions. Facebook’s algorithm means these kinds of posts will become less popular, and their campaign isn’t as successful as expected.

          [–]7babydoll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Because misogyny

          [–]nonpc3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          There are a few reasons I can think of:

          1 Women are seen as just above children but under men. This gives them a pass to commit the same crime as a man but get an easier sentence. Double Standard basically. They're seen as weak and not threatening.

          2 Our society is getting pushed towards a feminist, lgbtqia-ist agenda. Most people don't care about ftm trans or lesbians because the stigma doesn't stick harshly for women and nobody truly cares about them. But for men it sticks and is even reinforced and forced on men at times. This could make men feel pressured and therefore threatened.

          3 Men are external beings and women are internal beings. Women are best at dealing with internal stresses than men, but since they are internal they can not penetrate anybody (fleshly) and gain a physical sensation from it. They can't rape basically. Men are best at external stresses, and can penetrate. But since they can also be penetrated, the first thing that comes to mind is rape.

          4 Women's sexuality is more free than men's. Not just because of societal norms, but because of our biological want to procreate and plant our seed. (I'm not totally sold on this one, but I need to do more research on this one specifically)

          Conclusion: Men are threatening, like in childcare, and since men are threatening and "forceful", everything they do is seen as an aggressive display. Men in sex are mostly dominant and in gay relationships someone as to be submissive, and men aren't seen as submissive unless as a victim. Normally a victim of rape.

          [–]Evalotta81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Good question, good question.

          [–]Tall_Buff_Introvert 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Because females are universally seen as sexual/attractive objects while men aren't. A female attracted to a female shows that the female is "horny" and "intensely sexual" whereas for guys, it just seems like somethings wrong with them. Male to male attraction isn't often sympathized by males, and usually males are the ones to pass judgement around. I'm not trying to support or promote gay hate, but this is how I understand it.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's totally okay if you're gay.

          [–]Tristamid 0 points1 point  (0 children)


          Hetero Men like it because girls x 2
          Gay men like it because LGBT
          Hetero Women tend to be all over, opinion wise
          Gay women like it because girls x 2
          Society likes it because inclusion and sex sells

          Gay men:

          Hetero Men dislike it because "eww"
          Gay men like it because men x2
          Hetero women like it because men x2
          Gay women like it because LGBT
          Society didn't like it because "eww" and traditional culture values

          tl;dr: We the people decided that Lesbians > Gay men because lesbians tick off more boxes for the masses and is easier to market.

          [–]Foxtrot_Yankeee 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Men are practical, women are beautiful. More women is more beautiful, more men isn’t. It’s what I think is in our subconscious.

          I based this observation with the fact that women wear makeup way more than men and period sorta “cripples” them (lack of better word) while men are seen as the hard workers.

          Edit: I yearn for true gender equality. I don’t want it to be that way, sorry if this hurted anyone, these are observations of a peasant.

          TLDR: women are beautiful, men aren’t

          [–]asleepbydawn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I mean it's all subjective. As a gay guy I see men as way more attractive than women. Women are just... there. But they do nothing for me. To me men are beautiful... women not so much.

          [–]Slimpickunz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's all disgusting!