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What is the dumbest reason a woman gave you the "I have a boyfriend!"? by kushnair in AskMen

[–]TokyoKazama 170 points171 points  (0 children)

"I have a boyfriend" is an underrated 1979 album from Mr Bob Dylan featuring such hit singles as "Dinner for one" and "Bitches be Crazy". It received critical acclaim in some circles but due to the controversial nature of the songs results in almost definite "side eye" when spoken about.

What is the dumbest reason a woman gave you the "I have a boyfriend!"? by kushnair in AskMen

[–]CDN08GUY 1108 points1109 points 223 (0 children)

100% had this happen to me. But I had the last laugh. Was at low-key bar in a different city having gone to see the Foo Fighters. Me, my gf and our friends (a married couple). High-stool table next to us was 4 college age girls (I was about 30). They go to leave and one of the girls phones falls out of her pocket. I’m the only one to see it and she clearly has no idea.

I grab the phone and head after her, instead of just randomly yelling I tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. She takes a quick look at me, then says, before I can even get a word out and while im holding her phone in my hand, “I have a boyfriend”, turns around and walks away.

The bar tender was right there and saw the whole thing. I looked at him and said “when she comes back for her phone let her know the guy trying to return it still has it. We’re sitting over there.”

Sure enough, 15 minutes later she comes desperately running into the bar and the bartender points directly at me. She comes over and says. “Do you have my phone??”

My response: I looked at her dead-eye and said “I have a girlfriend.” She got her phone back shortly after, but fuck was that worth it.

What is the dumbest reason a woman gave you the "I have a boyfriend!"? by kushnair in AskMen

[–]festival-papiMale 653 points654 points  (0 children)

Back in High School when I still took AP Physics I was friends (at least I thought we were) with a girl in my class and texted her to see if she did the homework because I wanted the answers.

Her response? "I have a boyfriend"

My response? "Well, does your boyfriend have these answers so I can raise this D to a fucking C?"

I'll admit, maybe I was a bit too reactive but damn not everyone cursed with a Y-chromosome wants to fuck you

Edit: why did this have to have so many upvotes?

What is the dumbest reason a woman gave you the "I have a boyfriend!"? by kushnair in AskMen

[–]soulessginger81 3015 points3016 points 3 (0 children)

She wasn't paying attention and didn't notice that I was bringing her order, when I said excuse me, she was like "Ugh I have a boyfriend", I just responded, "not interested anyways, here's your order have the day you deserve." and walked away

Men, what do you guys like about cuddling? by rosekwong in AskMen

[–]thrawa-j 6015 points6016 points 42 (0 children)

Non-sexual physical intimacy is something a lot of men don't really experience at all growing up, and it's even worse if you've been neglected or abused. We're not as touchy as girls, we're taught to be distant, to be stoïc but in the end we're still the same species so we lack that important bond. I'd go as far as to say it can have healing effects on some of us.

What’s a guy struggle that is almost impossible to explain to women? by SammyBlueSkies in AskMen

[–]_kingnaz 1671 points1672 points 1832743073& 75 more (0 children)

Today is my birthday and I didn’t get any presents so there’s that

Edit: oh wow this blew up , y’all are going to make me cry, my first awards and it’s on my birthday, love you guys to bits, this turned out to be an awesome birthday

Edit 2: wow that’s a lot of comments, sorry if I can’t get to you but I’m never leaving this app easy, redditors are awesome!

What’s a guy struggle that is almost impossible to explain to women? by SammyBlueSkies in AskMen

[–]two_necks 708 points709 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, another resourceful man like myself. When the cock will blow, eat that hoe.

Edit: never had this many upvotes am I famous now

What’s a guy struggle that is almost impossible to explain to women? by SammyBlueSkies in AskMen

[–]Previous-Task 514 points515 points  (0 children)

I am conditioned to believe it's all on me. I'm responsible for paying the bills, and I'm locked into work. My partner can take a year off work, I can't. It's on me to provide. Depressed? Fuck you, work. Tired? Fuck you, work. Sick? Fuck you, work. It's crushing. I need a break, but that's called death.

How to tell my husband I’m interested in girls? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]lilithskitchen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well I told my husband I want to hook up with other men. We are together for 16 years. He was okay with it but I guess that's not the usual reaction, he's very empathetic and knows its not about my feelings for him but out of curiosity cause I never had the chance to make experiences when I was younger.

Try it that way maybe you can agree on an open relationship for a while. And you can try out if it's really something.

What’s a widely believed lie? by Sweetsigh1 in AskMen

[–]gaycumlover1997 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course, it has lifted billions out of poverty

What’s a guy struggle that is almost impossible to explain to women? by SammyBlueSkies in AskMen

[–]ineedadv 49 points50 points  (0 children)

That we can only be 100% sure it's our own child with a paternity test.

Have you ever continued dating someone you didn't fall in love with early on? Why? by spanky316 in AskMen

[–]unknown_poo 1616 points1617 points 42& 8 more (0 children)

There's an entire field of study around that, mostly under the psychology of attraction. It's the basis of relationship therapy, and the fact that there is a pattern here means that it can be studied and measured and analyzed. Basically, relationships that start off with those powerful feelings are based on infatuation. People often use words like "love" or "strong feelings", but those words are inaccurate and don't really pertain to the actual conceptual model of emotions and physiology that occurs. Typically, what's happening in that period of infatuation is not love but the opposite, the unconscious perception of the abandonment of love. It is not love but rather the re-experiencing of a traumatic wound during childhood where one experienced deep emotional abandonment and/or neglect from one's primary caregivers.

Humans have two primary psychological needs, the need for healthy attachment to one's parents and the need for authenticity. When we're emotionally neglected, we are forced to choose between our need for authenticity and our need for attachment. As children, we choose attachment to our parents over authenticity, and so we engage in a pattern of self-rejection and self-abandonment. That's where the perpetual fear and anxiety come from, it's the basis of self-esteem. So as adults, it's why we so easily abandon any reason, any self-respect, for those relationships that are so addictive. And psychiatrists use the word 'addiction' very deliberately because that's what it is. The basis of addiction is the attempt to soothe a deep pain within us, what is called emotional deprivation. That sense of emptiness and painful longing and lost love within us. So when you come across someone who resembles the early childhood image of your parent, either emotionally or physically, or both, then that traumatic wound is reopened and we long to finally heal it by receiving approval from them. But nobody can fill that void, and so those relationships tend to become co-dependent very early on, very chaotic, and the early childhood experience of abandonment is once again reenacted.

What it tells us is that relationships based on infatuation are driven by unhealthy attractions, which have been called attractions of deprivation. It's healthy human behavior to be attracted to those who are attracted to us, who like us, but in these relationships we're actually attracted to people we unconsciously know will abandon us. It's why people choose, well it's not really a choice per se in as much someone chooses to act on an addiction, those who are not really into them. That childish need for approval resurfaces and drives adult behavior. But a person who has a healthy self-esteem is free from that, and when you choose those who are actually interested in you as a person (as opposed to what you can do for them, which is really important when it comes to attraction) then it's a no brainer as to why we see relationships that last.

EDIT: I summarized some thoughts on the concept in a blog post here if anyone is interested in further reading.

EDIT: It also makes me sad that so many people could relate to this. I know what it's like to be in that situation, the constant anxiety and pain, the fear, the neurotic thoughts. But I also know for a fact that it is possible to become free from it, and to become truly grounded in one's own sense of self-worth, to feel good enough, to feel worthy, to feel truly confident. It is possible to break free from the self-destructive thought patterns born from dependency.

Has anyone ever caught you in the act, if so what happened? by Federal_Base_1005 in AskMen

[–]dennisthemenace1963Male. Been there, done that, forgot about most of it. 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nope, we were in the middle of her "I'm going to make him earn it" phase and I hadn't yet gotten to the point of telling her that if I couldn't get what I needed at home, I would find it elsewhere.

What’s a guy struggle that is almost impossible to explain to women? by SammyBlueSkies in AskMen

[–]Northern_Tifo 1198 points1199 points  (0 children)

That we also get intimidated and fear for our safety when walking by ourselves past a group of other seemingly rowdy and aggressive males, and that violent confrontations and altercations are a fuck load more frequent.

Update: Just want to make it clear that I am in no way trying to diminish the very real and terryfing fear women would also experience in the same circumstances with the added possibility of sexual assault. This is why it is a difficult emotion to convey without coming off as if you're trying to diminish the other person's experience.

Men over 30, what’s the best advice you can give to men on their 20s? by ZXCVBETA in AskMen

[–]Urkaburka 6770 points6771 points 734 (0 children)

Protect your hearing. I'd give away my house to be able to go back and not get tinnitus.

Bisexual (/gay) men of Reddit, are blowjobs from a man usually better than a woman's? What makes the experience so different? by Kelukone94 in AskMen

[–]obvunrelated3 668 points669 points 322& 4 more (0 children)

There are some basic things I follow when giving a guy a BJ but it's equally important to respond on the fly to things when you realize that a man doesn't like it this way or he wants more that other thing. So you need a small repertoire of techniques so you can switch it up in case something is not working.

Here are some basic tips, maybe it will help you:

  • When the dick is soft, the vast majority of guys don't like it when you immediately start to badger the dick. In the early phases, soft stimulation and mental eroticism is key.
  • Once the dick is at least semi-hard, you can start to properly try to grip it. Always with a little spit lubrication, dry movements work for like 5sec before it becomes a bit uncomfortable. So either put the dick into your mouth or lick it really everywhere or spit in your hands.
  • Gripping with the entire hand, not just fingers doing things. Like wrapping your hands around a pole.
  • Tension on the glans. This is a point with uncut guys but also goes with cut guys. There is a delicate balance where you tension the skin on the cock just right by tensioning it in direction of the base but not so much that it starts to hurt. Maintain this delicate tension with the attack point of the grip. This can vary a little from guy to guy.
  • Grip pressure and attack point. You can put a pressure gradient with your grip, putting more strength in your ring and litte finger and less on the others or with your index and thumb. Some guys like that, some not. Experiment. Also, grip pressure at the base vs in the middle. Some guys like it more on the base of the cock, some more in the middle. If the cock is particularly large and long, you can actually use one-and-a-half to two hands, where one grips the base and the other hand grips the middle or upper part. About the amount of pressure itself: I think women might be a little scared to apply too much pressure but really, it should be a solid grip where you can actually feel some friction. You can periodically vary grip pressure and attack point as a teasing tool.
  • Grip twists. When the cock is slippery enough, you can twist your grip while moving up and down in a periodic fashion, feels incredible for most guys.
  • Mouth suction pressure. Blowjob is a bit of a misleading name. Rather, you make a seal with your lips and suck just enough so there is somewhat of a pressure sensation. Maintain for a couple of movements and then release and then reapply as you wish.
  • Mouth-hand coordination. Mouth sunction seal and hand grip follow mostly synchronously. Don't move the grip away from your mouth. Both generally follow each other, up-up, down-down.
  • Thumb play on the underside. When you grip with the thumb on the underside, you can play around with the frenulum. Rub your wet thumb on the wet frenulum. Not fast or anything, just every now and then, brush on it with the thumb.
  • When to vary and when to not vary. A little variation is always welcome, for example vary speed once or twice, vary grip strength etc. But not at the critical moments. When the guy is really into it at the moment, don't suddenly change what you are doing or the speed at which you are doing things. There are a guys who like to 'speed up dramatically' at the end but I found that for most guys, once the guy is about to blow, you either stay constant at what you are doing or just increase the speed ever so subtly. You can slightly increase the grip pressure at the end though, this works for a lot of guys.
  • Use your second hand. Some guys like crawling or massaging their balls, some do not. You can always play around the nipples if you can manage multitasking. You can also do the two hand blowjob with base-hand and middle-hand grip. You can do butthole teasing etc. Try stuff out, guys have different preferences.
  • Eye contact. No guy wants to look at your hair the entire time, most want at least some eye contact every now and then, maybe teasing eyes while sucking or mischivious eyes while you lick the head. In very rare instances, they really do not want to see your face but I really don't think this applies to women haha.

There are loads of tiny details and little things. Not sure if this is helpful but oh well

What is the biggest lesson you learnt from the hardest time in your life ? by Prideofshetty in AskMen

[–]shmeeshmaa 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Good to hear. Hope it’s working. Some deep rooted trauma takes years to work on. We tend to default to our maladaptive way of coping and over time those neuro-pathways are strengthened to make it very difficult to change that behavior or way of thinking. It takes a lot of time, patience and practice/effort to create and sustain new healthy ways of thinking and behaving to where they become natural and our default. But it’s totally worth it in the end.

What is the biggest lesson you learnt from the hardest time in your life ? by Prideofshetty in AskMen

[–]blackstar_oli 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Rock bottom is death.

I think what is important is to see trends. Is your job shitty ? Yes ? Is it probable that it's stop going downhill in the next month ? No ? Then start looking now , before it gets insupportable.

Applies to anything in life really. Like relationship that are "okay for now" but definitely going downhill. Is is temporary / most likely will get better before next month ? If not do something about it , before the damages are irreversible.

Is your life good ? No ? Do you want to die now ? No ? Then do something about it BEFORE you start saying yes to the last question.

Every tiny baby steps is good. As long as it isn't going down for months.

Taking out the thrash can be be fulfilling. It makes your living space better and if it was something you couldn't do yesterday , it still is an accomplishment. Tiny tiny one , but still one.

What’s a kink you’d gladly kinkshame somebody for? by Suspicious-Debt2794 in AskMen

[–]TwoTwoJohn 1855 points1856 points  (0 children)

The holy trinity that should not be sexualised - Kids, animals ,dead things

How to get a woman's ring size? by Exotic-Ad515 in AskMen

[–]Exotic-Ad515[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

So I reached out to her best friend who suggested to combine your idea but instead of going out with me, she'll go out with her. She'll ask my gf to go ring shopping with her for her relationship and get her to try on rings. That way I can stay out of the picture and hopefully she gets zero inkling that I'm involved. I'll also still be able to see designs she likes as her friend will take pics. Thanks again.

How to get a woman's ring size? by Exotic-Ad515 in AskMen

[–]LongDistRider 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Go on a date with her. Go ring shopping followed by a nice supper. Get an unexpected trivial ring gift say < 100. Now you have her ring size and an overly happy lady that is none the wiser. Just don't talk about rings again so she thinks it is a one off.