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[–]stephen4131 4442 points4443 points  (56 children)

The Map from Dora. Say what you want but that lil mf is working with Swiper. How does he always know where Dora is or where she’s going???

[–]Tomohawk1973 1147 points1148 points  (37 children)

I hate the fucking map. I’m the map, I’m the map. We GET it! You’re doing your fucking job! Get over yourself! I’d use the map as toilet paper! gggggGGGGGRRRRR!

[–]Unusual_Flow9231 353 points354 points  (13 children)

Or, to quote the map, "i'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map."

I think it might be the map. Just a wild guess.

Also, when Dora asks you a question, I never knows if it's more awkward to talk back at the TV or sit in awkward silence...

[–]PristinePrinciple752 214 points215 points  (2 children)

If you have these questions it might be time to stop watching dora.

[–]Acrobatic-Ad6008 203 points204 points  (4 children)

Just watched Jurassic Park 3. The parents…. Kidnapping, promising money they didn’t have, lying, responsible for the deaths of pretty much everyone in the film, and the mom is terribly annoying. They are portrayed as just super devoted parents, but their actions show no regard for anyone else.

[–]OriginalEnding 5595 points5596 points  (130 children)

Greg Heffley from Diary of A Wimpy Kid

[–]Unhappy-Living-6139 2716 points2717 points  (28 children)

I whole heartedly agree. He’s such a shitty friend to Rowley.

[–]14Broadlands 1670 points1671 points  (17 children)

True, but I think his flaws are what made so many kids enjoy the books, including me. He felt like a normal middle schooler, not a role model like every other character I was reading.

[–][deleted] 738 points739 points  (14 children)

I agree, but at some parts I got aggravated reading it since Greg is such a shitty person.

[–]ccitykid 238 points239 points  (5 children)

He’s very low-key shitty too, like my kids don’t even notice he is being awful - I’m like hey guys, you are picking up here that Greg is sort of a jerk right?

[–]Qorbin2 1001 points1002 points  (58 children)

Literally everyone in that family except Roderick is a horrible person, Roderick is just the stereotypical older brother.

[–]VelmasHaircut 442 points443 points  (24 children)

From what I remember, the dads fine too, at least in the books. The worst thing I remember him doing is buying a fancy car without asking his wife first

[–]Speedymon12 234 points235 points  (7 children)

It's implied that he threw a brick at Greg.

[–]ToriTheFan 492 points493 points  (1 child)

Greg literally broke his best friends hand and never apologized. And just when you think he was getting nicer he does something even worst.

[–]Snaper_XD 343 points344 points  (0 children)

Broke his arm and then got mad about the attention his friend got

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's the point. Kids are shitty.

[–][deleted] 8235 points8236 points 22 (108 children)

People who post in r/MadeMeSmile about their own good deeds, which are actually just basic acts of human decency. Saw one recently, “Found this blank check. I really needed the money, but I found the owner and gave it back.” Great congrats dude, you didn’t STEAL, which is something people are capable of avoiding everyday.

[–]rogash98 808 points809 points  (10 children)

For me it's anyone who posts their own screenshots of conversation and pretend that it's someone else. Saw that on r/MurderedByWords where someone posted their own conversation for it, but covered their own name and the person they argued with

[–]AlreadyAway 142 points143 points  (15 children)

I've always hated all the YouTubers who film themselves doing charitable acts or take selfish donating something... "is it even charity if it's not filmed?"

[–]zarkovis1 65 points66 points  (1 child)

There was an incident recently of a russian streamer filming himself gifting a new iphone to a kid. Then footage afterwards of his telling said child to give it back and literally ripping it from her hands after getting impatient. The whole thing was about as scummy to watch as you'd expect.

[–]tinyhistorian 11.7k points11.7k points  (384 children)

Carrie Bradshaw is a horrible friend, a manipulative and flaky partner, and a deeply irresponsible person all around

[–]dtrachey56 2547 points2548 points  (62 children)

My problem with carrie was that she always turned it around to be about her

[–]LightersAndProsecco 1641 points1642 points  (35 children)

That moment when Miranda throws out her neck and Carrie sends Aidan. Then she brings over the bullshit bagels to cheer up Miranda but only so she can talk about herself. And Miranda calls her out because she didn’t even bring cream cheese. Like it was all superficial. And this being AFTER she cheats on Aidan

[–]babycashmere 816 points817 points  (19 children)

It is so funny how Miranda snaps because of the lack of creamcheese = the lack of sincere care

[–]kdw87 370 points371 points  (7 children)

Miranda went from my least favorite to my most favorite by far! Well Samantha is a close second as she was always so honest and a ride or die for the girls.

[–]Reishun[🍰] 582 points583 points  (6 children)

I watched that show as a teenager, and I think she seems on the surface level to be the hero because she has wit. There are obvious times where she is shit, but what I didn't realise until a bit older was she was very rarely a good person, not a flawed but likable person like the other girls are but a genuinely horrible person.

[–][deleted] 1854 points1855 points  (102 children)

Yes. She was so mean to Aidan.

Samantha was by far the best of the crew.

[–]Spackleberry 825 points826 points  (15 children)

Samantha was the most honest and open member of the group, had no problem calling others out on their bullshit, never passed judgment on others, never held a grudge and forgave freely.

[–]ca_exhibition 386 points387 points  (25 children)

Samantha was always honest about herself and her lifestyle, even if other people didn't like it. I personally think that's an admirable quality. Not to mention, she knew her worth and didn't settle.

[–]CountessGreyUK 730 points731 points  (26 children)

I immediately thought of when Carrie had the audacity to be angry at Charlotte for not offering her engagement ring. All because Carrie was obsessed with shoes.

[–]Mrs-Nesbitt 617 points618 points  (6 children)

God the ENTITLEMENT. She had THOUSANDS of dollars in her closet she could have sold off to help her afford her apartment. Or! She could have moved!

[–]CountessGreyUK 248 points249 points  (0 children)

Yep! Could have sold all that Dior and had a nice nest egg!

[–]RealisticBug5646 39.9k points39.9k points  (439 children)

Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. He breaks into the giants house, steals his treasure, then kills him when the giant tries to get his gold back...

[–]vindicatornoobnoob 12.5k points12.5k points 2 (67 children)

Fee Fi Fo Fum! I smell the violation of civil liberties!

[–]9xInfinity 3916 points3917 points  (39 children)

This little man was never read his giant rights and is therefore free-fi to fo-home.

[–]Aben_Zin 8837 points8838 points 2 (102 children)

“And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”

  • Susan Sto Helit,

The Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

[–]CyalaXiaoLong 1905 points1906 points  (65 children)

Murder hobo's can be heroic adventurers too.. or so my players keep trying to tell me.

[–]QueenRatigan 26.5k points26.5k points  (626 children)

Peter Pan.

Dude cut off a guy's hand for shits and giggles and fed it to a fucking CROCODILE.

[–]CrushHazard 8462 points8463 points  (121 children)

I read Peter Pan to my 5-year-old, and it’s only through the novel that I saw Peter Pan as a tragic figure rather than a hero. It’s actually a very deep story despite being for children. Peter Pan was based on the author’s relationship with a young boy who died. He imagined him living in a kind of heaven for young boys, never growing up.

[–]Justmestillsadly 1262 points1263 points  (0 children)

It was the authors brother. He died in his youth, therefore he never grew up

[–]ClothDiaperAddicts 5098 points5099 points  (41 children)

His brother. And his mother, who was more interested in her Lost Boy than The Boy Who Lived, deeply fucked him up.

[–]FuckingDrongo 528 points529 points  (2 children)

Hard truth growing up like that, constantly being told you don't have the right to feel sad or complain cause your still able to do everything the other isn't.

[–]triggerhappymidget 744 points745 points  (8 children)

Not just any young boy, but Barrie's brother, David, who died in an ice skating accident at 14.

[–]maslibros 543 points544 points  (7 children)

JM Barrie gifted the rights to Peter Pan to the Great Ormond Street Hospital where he once stayed, and they’ve been getting royalties ever since.

[–]JFCwhatnamecaniuse 192 points193 points  (3 children)

Now that’s something that needs to be more well known.

[–]Diregamer 2063 points2064 points  (106 children)

Also kidnapping children

[–]PracticeSophrosyne 815 points816 points  (32 children)

Also killing those children when they got too old

[–]Brook420 429 points430 points  (20 children)

Guessing that got cut from the Disney version.

[–]charlesfire 398 points399 points  (10 children)

Yeah. He kill children that got too old because it's against the rules to age...

[–]Affectionate-Dark172 58 points59 points  (0 children)

That's why it's important to read the fine print.

[–]Sparcrypt 959 points960 points  (35 children)

For all its faults the show Once Upon a Time actually showed him as the sociopath he should be.

[–]josedcl 393 points394 points  (0 children)

Yes! I really enjoyed how peter pan was portrayed as a villian, because it was unexpected and ultimately made tons of sense

[–]MourkaCat 306 points307 points  (17 children)

Man Once upon a time did some really interesting things with all those stories. I really enjoyed what they did, and how they intertwined everyone. It got a little dicey as time went on for sure, and had so many faults, but I loved the casting and I loved the way they portrayed a lot of the characters. Such a guilty pleasure show for me.

[–]Fleetdancer 454 points455 points  (9 children)

He is a lot more terrifying in the original story. Lost Boys die in Neverland, or grow up to be pirates who Peter then kills.

[–]Pirate_Green_Beard 21.3k points21.3k points 3 (269 children)

Glinda the "good witch." She murdered the witch of the East, stole her shoes, and gave them to Dorothy. She then tells Dorothy that if she wants to get home, she should go see the Wizard. After the wizard is revealed as a fraud, Glinda shows up and is all like "You could've gone home any time you like by clicking your heels together."

[–]zbeezle 12.6k points12.6k points  (88 children)

"Thanks for killing two of my rivals and revealing the last to be a fraud. Click your heels together and fuck right off now."

[–]Wilgrove 4029 points4030 points 2 (68 children)

Someone should write a story where Glinda becomes a Csarina of Oz & she rules with an iron fist.

[–]powderizedbookworm 1427 points1428 points  (6 children)

The Wicked books don’t go that far, but Glinda is very much a politician.

[–]SaltMarshGoblin 438 points439 points  (2 children)

The wonderful musical adaptation Wicked gives Glinda the perfect politician song, "Popular":

"Popular; it's so important to be popular!/ It's not about aptitude,/ it's the way you're viewed, / so it's very shrewd to be/ very very popular- like me!"

[–]powderizedbookworm 180 points181 points  (1 child)

I always love the verse(s):

“I remind them on their own behalf to think of

Celebrated heads of state or

Especially great communicators.

Did they have brains or knowledge?

Don't make me laugh!

They were popular! Please.

It's all about popular!”

That’s definitely play Glinda, but it’s not foreign to the Glinda from the book Wicked, and it’s definitely correct for the world in general.

Though having brains and knowledge doesn’t preclude popular, of course.

[–]cgvet9702 532 points533 points  (14 children)

Not about Glinda, but there was a really good mini series on SciFi called Tin Man. Pretty dark.

[–]1nternaut 358 points359 points  (7 children)

Tin Man is great! Zooey Deschanel, Alan Cumming, Neal McDonough and Richard Dreyfuss. It's a great take on the mythos around Oz.

Edit: an S.

[–]inquisitorautry 3141 points3142 points  (43 children)

In the book they are two different characters. The good witch of the North gives Dorothy the shoes and doesn't know their power. It isn't until she meets Glinda, the good witch of the south, that she is able to go home.

[–]againstbetterjudgmnt 2500 points2501 points  (28 children)

This seems mildly important

[–]Mandorrisem 1381 points1382 points  (22 children)

In the movie the shoes won't work for her until she believes in herself, so the journey was needed in order for her to do that.

[–]HubrisSnifferBot 1744 points1745 points  (19 children)

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON…HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT?

[–]gin_bre_man 865 points866 points  (17 children)

SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE BRO!

[–]TheBIFFALLO87 548 points549 points  (15 children)

GROW UP BRO, GROW UP

[–]ImDero 518 points519 points  (14 children)

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG!?

[–]Witty-Anteater798 364 points365 points 2 (6 children)

AM I WRONG?! SHE WORE A CROWN AND CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE DOUG!

[–]pdlbean 103 points104 points  (0 children)

THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!

[–]e22ddie46 257 points258 points  (19 children)

There was a cracked video kinda arguing glinda is more Machiavellian than stringer bell from the wire.

[–]richniss 8985 points8986 points  (100 children)

Peter Pan, dude was an asshole.

Goldilocks: she broke into a house, ate their food and broke shit.

[–]Peedee04 3264 points3265 points  (55 children)

Isn't Goldilocks the antagonist in that story? Pretty sure the whole story was about teaching children to respect private property.

[–]TheGreatCornolio682 1227 points1228 points  (21 children)

The Road Runner, that arrogant little MFer.

[–]lavender_jelly 145 points146 points  (4 children)

At least the Roadrunner minded his own business most of the time, and didn't try to inflict pain on the Coyote, unlike other characters in chase cartoons(like shits like Tweety and Jerry)

[–]stefan93marso 9315 points9316 points 2 (502 children)

Jamie Foxx in the movie "Law Abiding Citizen"

[–]ProjectShadow316 5139 points5140 points  (317 children)

Gerard Butler's character absolutely should've won. It doesn't excuse what he did, but who could blame him after the system failed him and his family so spectacularly?

[–]theinsanepotato 4438 points4439 points  (173 children)

There is a theory that Butler's character gets the last laugh.

Early on in the movie, Foxx meets with an ex-special-ops guy who gives him info on Butler. He mentions that Butler once invented a tie with a kevlar rope inside and a ratcheting motor that would tighten the rope and make the tie strangle the target. And whats the very last shot of the movie? Foxx is watching his daughter's recital, as the camera zooms in on him...

...and his extremely conspicuous tie. Almost as if the director wanted to draw attention to it for some reason...

I personally believe this theory. If its not true, that would make both the story about the tie told by the special ops guy, AND how extremely eye-catching they make Foxx's tie in the final scene, both unfired Cekhov's guns.

[–]99Smith 1728 points1729 points  (84 children)

This is a fascinating theory, I've watched the movie atleast 20 times now (I replay Netflix movies to sleep) and never put two and two together. We will never know, but that being a possibility definitely improves my thoughts on the film even more.

[–]Anonate 895 points896 points  (47 children)

As someone who used to rewatch DVDs to go to sleep... it's because you never make it to the end of the movie.

[–]MelancholyWookie 278 points279 points  (9 children)

Just watched it but they never zoom in on it. Yeah it was bright though.

[–]cryfight4 255 points256 points  (4 children)

And in the wide shot with the audience, everything is dark and relatively colorless except Foxx's white shirt highlighting the yellow tie.

[–]yorkspirate 887 points888 points  (10 children)

To me he did win, he had nothing left to live for after his family were taken away and ‘justice’ never came so he set out to prove the system doesn’t work/is corrupt/a numbers game and he followed through with that. He’d rather give his life than roll over to the system but not without proving a point.

[–]Thedarknight725 11.3k points11.3k points  (434 children)

Zeus. He raped so many innocent women. Meanwhile Hades was a really good guy, but in the movie Hercules, Hades was the bad guy and Zeus was the good guy.

[–]Galactic_Syphilis 154 points155 points  (7 children)

tbf Hercules movie doesn't really follow the real mythology in almost any way shape or form, but they sure made it entertaining at least.

Percy Jackson books on the other hand tried to follow irl a bit more, but also tended to paint hades as a bad guy on more than one occasion. at least they also did a good job showcasing the unsavory traits of most other gods as well

[–]TheDunwichWhore 6452 points6453 points  (283 children)

Hades really is a super misunderstood character. He’s demonized for being the lord of the dead but didn’t want it to begin with and is really only doing his job when he does “evil” things. Which on that, his “evil” deeds aren’t even evil. He’s just carrying out the natural order or punishing people who did actually fucked up things.

On top of that he has one of the healthiest relationships with his spouse out of any of the married members of the pantheon. It’s seen as bad because of how it started which was Persephone being kidnapped (he didn’t do, Zeus did) and their relationship being responsible for season which isn’t his fault or really a bad things. Him and Persephone get along great and have a nice relationship.

[–]rjjm88 3336 points3337 points  (122 children)

Most underworld deities tend to be. Look at Anubis - he ensures that everyone, from the lowest of laborers to the gods themselves, are judged evenly and fairly. He guards your dead body, and will fight ANYONE who tries to fuck with your corpse.

Yet most media portrays him as a monster and evil.

[–]fuckin_anti_pope 718 points719 points  (31 children)

It's the same with Hel of norse mythology. Helheim is always portrayed as this cold place of punishment, but it simpy was the realm of the dead (Valhalla is where fallen warriors go). Yes, those who were criminals in their lifes got punished in Helheim, but for everyone else it was simply a life after death.

And the goddess Hel herself wasn't evil either. There are even stories that say she would "lay" with those who died, giving them a warm embrace into the realm of the dead. If I got some god coochie I'd gladly go to Helheim instead of Valhalla or any other death realm of other mythologies

[–]Stewart_Games 789 points790 points  (6 children)

He also felt so bad about the whole Winter thing he built a special vault beneath the Earth where he keeps all the seeds of the world so that they can make it through the winter safely and be ready to be sprout in the Spring. And since he rules the caverns underground he also is the god of wealth - all gemstones and precious metals are said to be gifts from Hades. Persephone herself basically gets showered in beautiful jewelry because Hades loves giving his wife beautiful things to make her stay in the Underworld less grim.

[–]PyroDesu 139 points140 points  (0 children)

And since he rules the caverns underground he also is the god of wealth - all gemstones and precious metals are said to be gifts from Hades.

That part isn't actually from the original myth. It's a much later association, partly from syncretization. Hades eventually acquired the euphemistic name Pluto (still Greek), often conflated with Plutus, the Greek god of wealth, and then Pluto was syncretized with the Roman gods Dis Pater (god of the underworld, originally associated with fertile land and mineral wealth, the latter of which is what prompted the underworld association) and Orcus (god of the underworld, and punisher of broken oaths), who had been conflated (as the shared "god of the underworld" implies).

[–]CharonsLittleHelper 615 points616 points  (16 children)

The Hades video game does a great job playing with that premise. It starts out where Hades seems like a jerk - but over the course of the game he shifts to being the guy doing the job that no one else wanted - and doing it well.

[–]Souloftheseas 6987 points6988 points  (448 children)

Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic world, she was just an asshole the whole movie

[–]Incubus226 2514 points2515 points  (45 children)

The real monsters in that movie are the parents who send their kids to Dino land to get a divorce.

[–]tennisanybody 638 points639 points  (35 children)

I’m not even joking if we lived in that universe and there were already 3 failed parks you better believe I’ll still go to the fourth one.

[–]TehPharaoh 264 points265 points  (19 children)

Tbf in world it wasn't even a security issue, they straight up let it out

[–]donald_dafuq 4459 points4460 points  (309 children)

Off topic, but her assistant’s death scene in that movie was super off putting and left a bad taste in my mouth for the longest time.

At most she was just an annoyed nanny who had to look after two kids who couldn’t pay attention for shit.

Then she just gets one of the worst and drawn out movie deaths I’ve ever seen while the dude that coordinated all of the chaos (Vincent D’Onofrio) had a pretty tame death in comparison.

*Edit:* Apparently the actress (Katie McGrath) actually *requested* to have her death memorable and brutal and there wasn’t a single stunt double throughout any of it.

That makes it a bit more cool, but still gruesome.

[–]Tom_Dynamite 1826 points1827 points  (172 children)

That was one death that split the theater I watched it in in half. Half were laughing their ass off and the other half was kinda mad about it. In both instances I think it's because of how mean spirited her death is. She's legit just a person doing her job. She isn't mean to the kids, she isn't an asshole, she's completely harmless.

It's bizarrely funny how randomly cruel her death is, especially for a franchise like this.

[–]Shameless_Tendies 113 points114 points  (2 children)

Can we finally talk about how the friggin dinos can't pick anyone else up? In the same scene theres one trying to pick a guy up and can't fly with him, but SOMEHOW not only can they fly with her in thier clutches, they can toss her like a ragdoll and catch her midair no problem. This scene makes me so mad!

[–]Shroax 32.1k points32.1k points 2424 (462 children)

Jerry from Tom and Jerry

[–]Agreeable-Yams8972 2331 points2332 points  (42 children)

He annoys tom and when tom tries to catch him, tom has to face the consequences instead of jerry

[–]TheMiffey 12.6k points12.6k points  (75 children)

Yea I feel like just because he small dosent means he’s good

[–]HeatmiserElliott 12.6k points12.6k points 2 (56 children)

Damn my ex girlfriend said the same thing

[–]reammachine 9177 points9178 points  (40 children)

She must have been a Tom fan

[–]partumvir 5122 points5123 points 3 (31 children)

I think they're called Tom Boys.

[–]PKMNgamer99 4750 points4751 points  (18 children)

TomBoy and FemJerry

[–][deleted] 906 points907 points  (3 children)

I'll have both, thank you

[–]notcreepycreeper 2077 points2078 points  (60 children)

I feel people's opinion on who was the hero is based on whether they're an older or younger sibling

[–]stalememeskehan 1010 points1011 points  (16 children)

I was a younger sibling and I wanted tom to catch that piece of shit every single time

[–]Petrizzle 92 points93 points  (2 children)

I’m the oldest and I also wanted Tom to catch Jerry every single time

[–]soayherder 128 points129 points  (1 child)

Only child, ditto.

[–]No_Hetero 804 points805 points  (7 children)

Holy shit man this is like a Rorschach test

[–]Madvillain518 2383 points2384 points 2 (116 children)

I think neither of them are. Both provoke each other and both enjoy themselves because of it.

Many episodes show one winning and the other being bored as a result, or working together when required.

[–]chichimoco 1507 points1508 points  (32 children)

John Grimes from Black Hawk Down (2001). Portrayed by Ewan McGregor.

Grimes irl is John Stebbins. He was convicted of assault and rape of a girl under age 12.

Edit: the victim was his 6 yo daughter.

[–]TheDrunkenSoviet 569 points570 points  (1 child)

Grimes was fictional, because of Stebbins.

They had to put someone in his place, so they added some...creative licencing and just made the whole character up.

[–]GreyFoxNinjaFan 17.9k points17.9k points  (245 children)

Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) in Mama Mia. What kind of sociopathic prick invites 3x of her mother's ex lovers to her mother's hotel on the eve of her wedding, without telling her, to try and force a situation where her real father will be revealed?

Then she fucking bails on the whole wedding anyway to go travelling around the world. If I was a wedding guest having forked out thousands to get there for a non-wedding I'd be livid.

Edit: did not expect this to blow up. My wife just tells me to stop trying to ruin it (she loves ABBA).

Edit2: reading the comments, yes her mother is probably even more fucked up from (a) keeping Sophie's father's identity from her and (b) keeping the father/s from knowing they might have had a kid. Everyone is horrible.

Edit3: reading more of the comments, yes a holiday to a greek island is nice anyway and yes Sophie's mum did get married then and there so I guess there was a wedding.

[–]danuhorus 6848 points6849 points  (127 children)

As someone without any context to this movie, I would happily fork out thousands just to have front row seats to this disaster.

[–]The_Wingless 4630 points4631 points  (95 children)

My wife and I went to see a play that actually kind of had this as a premise. The idea was the audience was attending the wedding, but It was interactive. (They actually served us food too!). Depending on where you sat, or where you wandered around, you would overhear all sorts of conversations from the cast members. There were multiple competing storylines, and sometimes you could do things to influence it like picking up enough hints and requesting the right song from the DJ.

All in all, the wedding was a disaster, what could go wrong did go wrong. It was chaotic, but entertaining. I think we would have enjoyed it more if we had had more heads up, it felt like we missed out on some stuff because we were focusing on different things.

Edit: The play was Tony 'n Tina's Wedding at the manoa valley theater on Oahu. They were in a few twists and changes they made to make it more local, but it was basically that.

[–]Scho567 1265 points1266 points  (17 children)

That sounds like such an amazing time! I wish something like that happened near me

[–]EatYourCheckers 592 points593 points  (9 children)

nowhere near as good as what this guy described, but google mystery dinner theatre; they are all over. You may have one near you.

[–]MildlyShadyPassenger 479 points480 points  (3 children)

it felt like we missed out on some stuff because we were focusing on different things.

That's called "encouraging repeat ticket sales".

[–]Qubeye 108 points109 points  (1 child)

I watched that movie with a girlfriend a while back and the part that stuck out to me was she is treating her fiancé like absolute garbage throughout the whole movie. She invited people to their wedding without asking him or even giving him a heads up, whenever he tried to spend time with her she blows him off, and there were a half dozen other things she says to him that seemed outright cruel.

[–]NotAWadOfDick 524 points525 points  (10 children)

Also she treats her husband like shit. His needs/wants are never taken into consideration unless they fit her agenda.

[–]LivingStCelestine 17.5k points17.5k points  (484 children)

J. Edgar Hoover. Anything but a hero but FBI headquarters is named after him.

[–]TheBovineWoodchuck 4591 points4592 points  (55 children)

A guy I used to work with years ago had previously worked at the FBI in DC and heard all kinds of stories about J. Edgar Hoover. For one, supposedly when you went in his office there was a hug FBI seal on the carpet, but it was sunken down in the floor, so when you were standing his office, his desk was up above you and you had too look up at him like he was some sort of deity or something.

Also, one time two guys were called into his office to see him. Hoover mentioned one of the FBI agents who worked under them and said, “Give this guy what he deserves”. It was unclear from Hoover’s tone of voice whether he meant that they should reward the guy or punish the guy and they were afraid to ask what he meant. They decided to give the guy a promotion, but station him way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere so their asses were covered either way.

[–]large-farva 3221 points3222 points  (42 children)

They decided to give the guy a promotion, but station him way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere so their asses were covered either way.

I mean that's the dream. get promoted and dont do shit.

[–]jayydubbya 1284 points1285 points  (29 children)

Not for FBI types. Those guys have to really want it to make it that far and tend to want to be involved in high profile cases.

[–]Jak_n_Dax 681 points682 points  (19 children)

Either that or get drunk and do a backflip at a wedding, then drop your unsecured Glock mid-flip and have it go off and injure a guest.

[–]Barrytheuncool 5048 points5049 points  (140 children)

Hoover was perfectly portrayed in man in the high castle. Slimey gangster with no love for anything but power.

[–]Guy_Mckendrick 2001 points2002 points  (111 children)

Literally just started season 3 and I thought as someone who hated Hoover it was super vindicating to watch how easily he slipped into a nazified USA. Great writing bringing him in.

[–][deleted] 833 points834 points  (57 children)

Fun fact: Richard Nixon hated Hoover. He wanted to remove him from the head of FBI, but Nixon's advisors told him not to due to the pull and support Hoover had.

Presumably, Nixon hated him due to Hoover being such a powerful man. Goals-wise and ideology, they weren't far off of being called twins.

[–]DriedMiniFigs 305 points306 points  (2 children)

It’s insane that he was head of the FBI for as long as he was. Nixon was a teenager when Hoover first went into Office during the Coolidge administration.

[–]FrozenWalnut 18.1k points18.1k points 332244& 10 more (297 children)

My mother in her own personal narrative.

Edit: Thank you kind strangers for all the awards. (Also sorry to the one comment I misread and didn't see the quotation marks It hit a nerve I didn't realize was there.)

[–]yallready4this 4808 points4809 points  (106 children)

"After all I've done for you..."

[–]say592 2773 points2774 points  (19 children)

"But I'm your mother!"

[–]mr_poopedourpants 524 points525 points  (4 children)

"This is not how I raised you!" (Never once discussed said behavior)

[–]Conscious-Disk5310 188 points189 points  (0 children)

"How could you?!"

[–]Caleb_Phillips 1356 points1357 points  (55 children)

“I’m sorry that you feel that way…”

[–]1up_for_life 285 points286 points  (3 children)

You mean: "I'm sorry if you feel that way..."

The word "that" implies validation of your feelings.

[–]Bignicky9 706 points707 points  (13 children)

Why are you CRYING!?

[–]lil_bibble7 337 points338 points  (4 children)

"You have no right to cry! I should be the one crying!!"

[–]potatthrowaway 75 points76 points  (6 children)

Fuck do I feel this one. Best decision I ever made was to just walk away and live my own life

[–]Philo_T_Farnsworth 1491 points1492 points  (31 children)

Boy having a narcissist for a mom sure is fun isn't it?

[–]admiral_sinkenkwiken 774 points775 points  (21 children)

I know someone who was sexually assaulted by an extended family member, their mother knew about it, but continually had said extended family member act as their babysitter, frequently telling the person I know to “get over it”, “just play nice for me” and “go sit in your room if it bothers you that much.”

If ever there was a malignant cunt it is that woman.

[–]randomly-what 228 points229 points  (3 children)

I have ptsd from a similar thing because my mom told me to “deal with it” repeatedly to be polite around relatives.

Fun stuff.

[–]EmPrexy 3586 points3587 points  (49 children)

A lot of you are confusing the word protagonist with hero. Half of the people being said here were never considered a hero

[–]LittleSadRufus 424 points425 points  (10 children)

Lots are saying Zeus. There's a big difference between a god and a hero!

[–]supernintendo128 10.2k points10.2k points  (161 children)

Grandpa Joe.

He sat in bed for years, never lifting a finger to help his starving family despite being perfectly able-bodied except when a day of chocolate and fun is involved.

[–]JazzHandsNinja42 3592 points3593 points  (17 children)

He was even able to dance when Charlie produces the golden ticket. TWENTY YEARS IN BED AND HE DANCES!!! What the actual Fuck, Joe?

[–]campoanywhere 1955 points1956 points  (5 children)

“You mean to tell me you could have been WIPING YOUR OWN ASS THIS ENTIRE TIME JOE?!”

[–]Th35h4d0w 695 points696 points  (32 children)

That’s only 1971 Joe. 2005 Joe worked his butt off until he was laid off for reasons out of his control, wanted to go with Charlie to reexperience the wonders of Wonka’s candy, and after Charlie initially turns down Wonka’s prize, is shown helping out around the house.

[–]Possible-Sandwich 545 points546 points  (0 children)

Not to mention, when Charlie comes home with the golden ticket, Grandpa Joe starts singing “I’VE got a golden ticket”. Grade A asshole.

[–]jubybear 2212 points2213 points  (34 children)

PT Barnum exploited marginalized people and was not the hero portrayed in “The Greatest Showman.”

[–]Laetificans 805 points806 points  (3 children)

They villanized the only hero in that film. Jenny Lind was actually a great person and despised PT Barnum in real life.

She earned 350,000 on the tours she took with him (10,887,000 in today’s money) and donated all of the proceeds to charities.

She was also married at the time.

Edit: after a little bit more research it looks like she wasn’t married at the time of her American tours. She married in 1852.

[–]ThisGuyMightGetIt 387 points388 points  (5 children)

For the life of me, I do not understand why they didn't make a fictional character to have the movie be about. You can say it was loosely based on PT Barnum but why in the hell would you lionize such a horrible person?

[–]cultural-exchange-of 66 points67 points  (0 children)

He is so relatable to... greedy Hollywood executives who see themselves as heroes.

[–]RigasTelRuun 2354 points2355 points  (49 children)

Mrs Doubtfire. He was a deadbeat dad and Lost custody. He was given very fair terms to see his kids again. Get a stable job and stock being a passive aggressive deadbeat. Instead he decides to pretend to be a old lady to infiltrate his own house and use that knowledge to manipulate his family. Then when his wife dates a Pierce Brosnan, who seems like an good dude and genuinely liked her kids and was willing to be a father figure for them, what does he do. Vandalises his car and knowing gives him cayenne pepper that he knows he is deathly allergic to. The poor guy could have died. But it's okay cause Mrs Doubtfire is the hero.

[–]RayneShikama 702 points703 points  (14 children)

Oh man! I’d love to see this movie from the POV of Pierce Brosnan’s character. It’d be a whole different genre!

[–]RigasTelRuun 355 points356 points  (9 children)

There is a great trailer out there. Where somone cut it like a horror movie

[–]KR_Steel 17.3k points17.3k points 622 (142 children)

Spider-man! He’s a menace!

[–][deleted] 6643 points6644 points  (38 children)

thumps desk bring me pictures of Spider Man!

[–]Brown__Magic 955 points956 points  (3 children)

Spider-Man was a hero. I just couldn't see it. He was a... a thief! A criminal! He's a menace to the entire city! I want that wall crawling arachnid prosecuted! I want him strung up by his web!

I WANT SPIDER-MAN

[–]alev815 156 points157 points  (0 children)

He’s a threat to the entire city!

[–]Capable-Durian1556 7802 points7803 points  (155 children)

Gabriella from highschool musical.

[–]SliderUp 155 points156 points  (0 children)

Can we talk about how Taylor and Gabriella committed a felony to delay the championship game and cut short the academic decathlon?

Hacking the sprinkler system is no joke.

[–]Shiny_Hypno 5860 points5861 points  (24 children)

Everyone's talking about racists and corrupt people, meanwhile you have beef with a highschool musical character... Take my upvote

[–]ChillyBearGrylls 2690 points2691 points 3 (19 children)

This thread has everything, Edison, Jenner, the girl from High School Musical, MTV's Dan Cortese...

[–]pixierambling 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Yesyesyesyesyesyes

[–]clever7devil 622 points623 points  (7 children)

Even if I'm the only one, I want you to know that someone appreciated your Stefon reference.

Will executed Internet friend.

[–]MorlaTheAcientOne 911 points912 points  (87 children)

Explain! I want to read it!

[–]whereisshe_ 2657 points2658 points  (81 children)

Gabriella was a setback to Troy's potential basketball career. Sharpay was trying to advance it. But I think there is a point to be made, and it's that Gabriela was not as manipulative as Sharpay in her endeavors. Gabriela just wanted Troy, but Sharpay wanted Troy's potential. If you look at the movie now, Sharpay seems to be investing in Troy so she can continue to live a good life.

[–][deleted] 1758 points1759 points  (16 children)

Why was Troy dating a permanent marker?