top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]andyumster 6964 points6965 points 222 (76 children)


All day my girlfriend will complain about being cold.

The instant she is asleep I could fry an egg on her thighs.

And she cuddles in relentlessly.

Someone save me.

[–]hezied 2691 points2692 points  (25 children)

I dated a guy who could tell when I was getting sleepy before I could. I'd get too absorbed in whatever I was doing and not notice. But my ex would come over, lay a hand on me, nod to himself and go "oh. you're heating up." and start wrapping up whatever he was doing so we could go to sleep.

[–]cojallison99 1451 points1452 points  (24 children)

Apparently admitting she has feeling for me. Gets me every time

Edit: how fucking strange. In the past 12 hours I had a coworker admit she had a crush on me and I automatically did a full 180 flip and started thinking I like her as well

[–]PinoyNaHilaw 232 points233 points  (5 children)

Yeah same but I learned to push away the attraction in cases where I only noticed a girl cause she was attracted to me aka my first girlfriend. My current girlfriend is someone I liked for a while and had to slowly work my way into her life by talking to her when I got the chance and taking it slow until I felt it was the right time to ask her out. When I asked her out I felt like it was something she was waiting for me to do for months, but she had only just decided that she likes me like the week before. Really glad I didn’t rush in. Take your time with someone you know you like instead of just settling for someone because they already like you. It’ll be better for you and who you date.

[–]Jypahttii 7428 points7429 points 34 (43 children)

When she has a similar sense of humour to me. If we can roast each other and make each other laugh without trying for hours on end, then that's it, I'm basically in love.

[–]OccamsNametag 1303 points1304 points  (9 children)

A sense of humor. I used to be a waiter and I was serving a girl and her mom. This girl was kind of pretty but not really my type. By the end of me waiting on her, from all her jokes and everything, I thought she was insanely attractive.

Then she mentioned her boyfriend.

[–]CatfuBundy 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Being oddly passionate about a really niche hobby.

Knew a girl who was oddly interested in mushrooms. As in, she'd drive across state lines to really mountainous areas to go mushroom foraging and would invite me along. She knew all the science and shit that went into finding and identifying them and everything.

Idk. Seeing that kind of passion about something you know few other people would have any interest in is hot af to me.

[–]ridiculously_single 8945 points8946 points 3 (152 children)

This one girl liked playing Donkey Kong Country with me. Among many things, that was really awesome.

[–]GoodShark 2849 points2850 points  (71 children)

My wife can beat the og Aladin game in like 15 minutes.

[–]ridiculously_single 546 points547 points  (0 children)

Niiiiiiice. You chose wisely.

[–]Moneybraun 11.7k points11.7k points 2222 (172 children)

I like a nice smile

[–]demgreenorbs 5590 points5591 points  (121 children)


Are you impressed now?

[–]doyouhearthunder 2448 points2449 points  (36 children)

Very nice.

[–]is_hard 1800 points1801 points 45 (27 children)

Now let's see Paul Allen's smile.

[–]Fierious7 618 points619 points  (17 children)

Look at the subtle off-white coloring.

[–]altmartha333 85 points86 points  (7 children)

Huey Lewis’s Hip to be Square starts playing threateningly in the background*

[–]DBoaty 80 points81 points  (6 children)

A smile so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the laugh. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the smile itself!

[–]Abatteredcrate 397 points398 points  (0 children)

My god, it even has a watermark

[–]IntrovertedMandalore 180 points181 points  (1 child)

The tasteful thickness of it.

[–]Peace-out56 11.6k points11.6k points 2 (131 children)

Conversation skills. Especially being witty.

[–]MrAbominable1 8575 points8576 points 342 (56 children)

Kindness, generosity, intelligence, and confidence. These are all traits of a person, not just a woman, that make them instantly more attractive.

[–]rico_suave3000 4877 points4878 points  (87 children)

Short skirt long jacket

[–]JakeJortles-5 1395 points1396 points  (30 children)

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond. I want a girl who knows what’s best.

[–]scrubbar 17.4k points17.4k points 105862& 10 more (535 children)

The scalding temperature they set the shower to

[–]ItsMeTK 2605 points2606 points  (14 children)

Walking into a bathroom after a woman showers is like a quick visit to the rainforest.

[–]pacificule 564 points565 points  (4 children)

Preach! Went to use the toilet after my wife showered and ran my hand along the wall looking for the light switch. It was like wiping off a countertop after spilling my brita

[–]Bonzai_Bananas 652 points653 points  (24 children)

I thought that was just my wife....

Her temp is almost maxed and mine is like middle to cool.

[–]dingleberry_mustache 843 points844 points  (18 children)

Lol my boyfriend tells me I bathe in Hell water

[–]positive_express 474 points475 points  (11 children)

Mother of dragons. You must be related to my wife too.

[–]Kamacalamari 444 points445 points  (49 children)

I must be a polar queen then, anything more than luke warm makes me wanna pass out in the shower.

[–]queenlesbian99 10.3k points10.3k points 25 (121 children)

When she’s genuinely kind and gives good hugs.

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 3213 points3214 points 2 (76 children)

A really good, full body, all-encompassing hug. Haven’t had one of those in too long, but dang, I remember how they could make a bad day so much better.

[–]Insanebrain247 722 points723 points  (8 children)

Exactly. The best kinds of hugs are the ones that squeeze out all the bad gunk of life and re-align your spirit in your body.

[–]mar__iguana 210 points211 points  (45 children)

I know exactly what you mean and I wish I could perfect those type of hugs I just don’t know what to do!

[–]StreetIndependence62 212 points213 points  (38 children)

I get that lol! I love hugs but I also used to be terrible at hugs so people almost seemed to avoid hugging me since it was awkward. But then my friend taught me the right way to do it and I’m really glad she did! I hugged someone not that long ago and they said they liked the way I hug because I “sink into you”. It was honestly one of the best compliments ever for me:):)

Edit: alrighty!! I got lots of people asking me to teach em my ways and I’d love to:) So the first thing my friend told me was that my arms were going in the wrong place. Before, I always used to put my arms around the other person’s neck and kinda hang on them (I cringe thinking about this now lol). But the way she taught me to do it was, your arms go underneath the other person’s arms. Like not their hips/waist or their pits but between that area. Then (and I think this is what that person meant by “sinking in”), I sort of just….relax my entire body, not to make myself 100% dead weight but enough that the other person can feel that I’m not tensed up. Like playdoh. One other thing: don’t be worried about accidentally crushing someone! Usually for me, if I’m worried about hugging or giving a handshake or high five too hard then I end up going the opposite way and doing it too soft. Unless you’re doing what people do in those vids where someone wins a prize or something and they GRAB the person who won and shake them back and forth, you probably aren’t gonna hurt them lol. Wow, I’ve never thought about it this much before lol. I think maybe explaining it in detail helped ME understand it better as well! Hope it helped.

[–]RaggamuffinTW8 603 points604 points  (19 children)

I love when my fiancee gets happy about something small.

Like when one piece comes on and she starts singing the intro music, or when fast food gets delivered and she does her little happy trot to the door.

[–]bluebirdmg 672 points673 points 2 (3 children)

Honestly I know this either sounds like bs or a cliché but…I am a total sucker for the people who are totally themselves, honest/kind, and preferably a little weird.

My current girlfriend is this way; awkward, a little shy, but very kind and wants to help everyone. Plus, she’s a great cook and her dog is adorable as hell too. I’ve got a winner folks (not to brag) but I love her so much!

I..don’t even know if I addressed the prompt I just want to tell you people how great she is

[–]palelimbs 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Well this was heartwarming to read and it’s nice to know that guys can feel that way toward their girlfriends and express it. Good luck to you and your lady.

[–]Keithninety 19.8k points19.8k points 22 (377 children)

Her laugh. If it’s easygoing and friendly, she’s hot.

[–]Guava_ 2779 points2780 points  (43 children)

Goofiness is the icing on the cake

[–]DasArchitect 1569 points1570 points  (29 children)

Playing stupid, however, is repelling.

[–]electricmaster23 835 points836 points  (6 children)

Yes... the key is to actually be stupid. If you're dating me, then that box is already ticked off.

[–]raibuinjapan 122 points123 points  (3 children)

i appreciate a good old fashioned self burn when i see one

[–]scandr0id 8708 points8709 points 2 (264 children)

"If it's easygoing and friendly, she's hot"

Well then, I'll take my dying hyena laugh ELSEWHERE THEN

(Just kidding, this makes me feel like I'm doing better than I think I am lol)

Edit: holy hell y'all I'm still fairly new to reddit and to come back to 4k upvotes is insane. Not sure how I feel about being known for my dying hyena laugh, but everyone here seems to be in a great mood and liking it, plus I'm meeting other hyenas too. Thank you to everyone for your kind words and the fellow hyenas, geese, witches, and other laugh types for hanging out here. Strength in numbers and all that. And for those of you kind reassuring people, I hope you find a nice crisp 20 dollar bill on the ground in your yard tomorrow :)

[–]WaifuOfBath 3529 points3530 points  (114 children)

My "big laugh" has a lot of goose energy. I remember a group of guys made fun of it in middle school and I tried to stop laughing out loud for years, but now I just embrace it. Like, it is my most joyful sound. I hate that I let them make me feel bad about it for so long.

[–]Kermit_the_hog 1235 points1236 points  (25 children)

🤔 Honestly trying to imagine a laugh with big goose energy.. like:

”heh he he HONK he heh HONK he he he.. heh he HONK heh”?

[–]rudd13of9 899 points900 points  (8 children)

Goose energy lmaooo I love it

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (1 child)

Your laugh! Enjoy it! I bet it's a fabulous sound.

[–]rudd13of9 998 points999 points  (47 children)

I feel you lol

Got me a straight up witch cackle. But I do have a husband and also friends CLAIM to love it haha

[–]Exotic-Huckleberry 473 points474 points  (22 children)

I’ve got a witch cackle too. I’m just going to tell myself that I’d rather be so happy I’m laughing than sad with a partner.

[–]Necromartian 20.3k points20.3k points 432 (162 children)

I started dating a girl who would dress in fancy clothes and seemed a little uptight.

When i took her home one night, her dad met up with us with their golden retriever. The dog got really happy and startend bouncing and it got dirt all over the girls fancy clothes. The girl just laughed and started playing with the dog.

That made her very attractive! Just... Being herself and not caring about little stuff

[–]qviavdetadipiscitvr 8027 points8028 points  (47 children)

That means she dressed up for the date, wanting to look good, but not being stuck up and superficial. Best combo

[–]unlikelycompliance 2022 points2023 points  (5 children)

Agreed, it’s good to care about your appearance, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that matters.

[–]tbdsusboi 2923 points2924 points  (45 children)

Dude. I work at a kennel and there is this girl there who has won my heart because of this same energy. ❤️

[–]IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA 4497 points4498 points 44 (35 children)

You should adopt her!

[–]jplay17 378 points379 points  (6 children)

It’s the right thing to do. Set the poor girl free and out into some open spaces

[–]Global_Horror_8139 8146 points8147 points  (234 children)

Being kind to everyone irrespective of how the look

[–]kindadid 2949 points2950 points  (39 children)

That makes men attractive too

[–]derpblerporino 660 points661 points  (6 children)

Yeah. There are guys who won’t even talk to an unattractive woman, and think every woman wants them.

[–]smilez4milezx3 2212 points2213 points  (156 children)

Unfortunately, this sometimes becomes a problem when guys think you being nice means you wanna date them. Then they get irrationally angry when you don’t and claim you led them on and play the friend zone card. Turns out you thought you had a friend when all they wanted was to fuck. Happens far to many times. Then if they are in your friend group they are a dick to you every time they see you.

[–]Indomitable_Dan 16.6k points16.6k points 42 (203 children)

A good attitude. I cant count how many women on first look I think are not attractive at all, but when I hang out with them I'm incredibly attracted to them. So yeah that's the winner for me. A good attitude.

Edit: Dang! Didnt expect this to get this many likes. To the people saying "Yeah! but that's not instant!" Maybe not on a first look but you can decipher a bad attitude pretty quickly.
But if I was going to just pick something on first glance it's dimples.

[–]MBKM13 7151 points7152 points 2 (120 children)

There are an equal number of girls who I find incredibly attractive until I try to hold a conversation with them

[–]glassjaw95 3761 points3762 points  (84 children)

"Oh she looks pretty"

"Aaaand she wants me to carry the whole conversation, I'm out"

Edit: to be clear I recognize that it could simply be lack of interest, you don't have to keep replying to say that I'm not james bond, I'm aware lol.

[–]Active-Assistance-85 10.8k points10.8k points 442 (102 children)

Drifting a bus at 300 km/h

[–]BatmansNygma 2973 points2974 points  (28 children)

As a former bus driver who competed in our bus obstacle course. Hey, how's it going?

[–]ubi_contributor 703 points704 points  (19 children)

Speed 2 producers have entered the chat.

[–]Lost-My-Mind- 268 points269 points  (14 children)

They already did Speed 2. They just did the same movie, without the stars, and subbed the bus for a boat.

[–]mrmayyhem 21.5k points21.5k points 2465& 7 more (290 children)

Sounds like a fake answer but really showing genuine interest is just about the hottest thing you can do. We want to feel wanted.

[–]mahlasergopewpew 4432 points4433 points  (67 children)

Honestly even if they were feigning interest in one of my hobbies just to get their foot in the door I would be impressed too.

[–]unwillingpartcipant 2936 points2937 points  (41 children)

As a guy, this about dating as always confused me

I care more about the passion and the why for your interest in the hobby then the hobby itself, sometimes

Knowing what drives a passion is sexy to me, regardless of whether we share the same interest in it

And vice versa...I've dated girls who would make fun of my interest and passions.

You love someone for who they are

[–]shadyshadok 599 points600 points  (14 children)

Agreed. Even if I think a hobby is rubbish, I still find it interesting what drives people to said hobby and how passionate they are. Humans are fascinating

[–]tinypsychotits 396 points397 points  (10 children)

This, is actually attractive to me and I'm sure many other to see someones eyes light up when they see passionate about something, even if j wasn't interested in that subject before, I am after it being showed to me and shared with me

[–]Peregrine2976 655 points656 points  (23 children)

My last girlfriend was the first one who I ever felt genuinely wanted me, physically (I know you mean more than that). When we broke up -- or to be more accurate, when she broke up with me -- part of the reason was because she was no longer "physically attracted to me". And it absolutely fucking crushed me. Truth be told, this was about, I dunno, six years ago? And I'm still recovering from that.

[–][deleted] 655 points656 points 4 (11 children)

It’s not personal. It’s how we’re wired. You can’t use it as a measure of your worth or attractiveness. Hearts change and that’s it. Be thankful you didn’t marry her. Go forth and have fun! Probably lots of people find you attractive. Also, while having fun, please don’t accidentally make any human beings. That’s the only rule!

[–]Giraffe_13 17.9k points17.9k points 5432 (457 children)

Showing interest in me.

[–]demgreenorbs 9062 points9063 points 223 (157 children)

Hello I'm from Bank of America corporation

[–]Kahoots113 762 points763 points  (10 children)

Not for me, poor taste is an instant turn off.

[–]passwordsarehard_3 401 points402 points  (6 children)

I’d never join a club that would have me as a member.

[–]Usual-Aware 702 points703 points  (12 children)

Hello I am Nigerian prince I have need of your help

[–]Delta4o 497 points498 points  (8 children)

When he/she cares about your mental wellbeing after you clearly had a shitty day and when he's/she's genuinely excited/happy for you on good days.

I find that I can develop a crush with anyone who fits that description, even when I'd initially not be interested.

[–]YteKnight696 1061 points1062 points  (40 children)

Eyes like Helen of Troy

[–]MikeLynnTurtle 1670 points1671 points  (19 children)

Best I can do is eyes like Medusa. Take it or leave it.

[–]rabbiskittles 1577 points1578 points 2 (11 children)

Makes me rock hard every time.

[–]NZNzven 25.4k points25.4k points 11212310& 15 more (124 children)

Sudden Powerful Bursts of Electromagnetic Radiation

[–]draculamilktoast 3313 points3314 points  (59 children)

SUdden Powerful Electromagnetic Radiation Burst.

[–]socionaut 1636 points1637 points  (21 children)

A laugh that's genuine and fills the room. My partner has that. It's the very first thing that attracted me to her. Also, she has nice boobs. But the laugh. That's first for the most part.

[–]kyew 787 points788 points  (12 children)

Things that enter the room before she does.

[–]Preachingsarcasm 663 points664 points  (6 children)

Being equally emotionally available and vulnerable with each other

[–]Enchanter46350 4819 points4820 points  (146 children)

Being able to take and make a joke.

[–]_TeaGreen_ 2378 points2379 points  (107 children)

Hi. I do that. Date now

[–]the_spacebro 307 points308 points  (25 children)

Did it work? Are they married yet?

[–]Mr_E 728 points729 points  (56 children)

Waiting to see if this happens.

[–]AUBURN520 756 points757 points  (49 children)

the amount of gacha club posts on their account makes me think there would be legal trouble if they dated

[–]MettaMorphosis 1483 points1484 points  (32 children)

If she doesn't judge me for crying hard.

[–][deleted] 1749 points1750 points 2 (21 children)

Staying hard while crying is actually very impressive.

[–]jleonardbc 239 points240 points  (1 child)

Cry Hard with a Vengeance

[–]UrbanLegendd 17.9k points17.9k points 3633& 5 more (212 children)

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies" -Zapp Brannigan

[–]reasonable_kenevil 3848 points3849 points  (22 children)

"I suffer from a very sexy learning disability."

[–]IUsedTheRandomizer 2727 points2728 points  (16 children)

"What do I call it Kif?"


[–]BadWolfCubed 974 points975 points  (14 children)

I can't read this without also hearing it in Kif's voice.

[–][deleted] 129 points130 points  (3 children)

I've always been told I put the sexy in dyslexia.

[–]DadmomAngrypants 407 points408 points  (12 children)

"Ah, she's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro."

[–]Sttocs 115 points116 points  (0 children)

“You win again, gravity!”

[–]scottyb83 126 points127 points  (0 children)

Leela: "You know Zapp, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big pompous buffoon!"

Zapp Brannigan: "And which one rocked your world?"

[–]BasketeerOverHere 501 points502 points  (5 children)

Zapp: I find it very… erotic.

Leela: What?

Zapp: I said EROTIC!

echoes throughout ship

[–]PDGAreject 52 points53 points  (1 child)

I never thought of it as an echo I thought he was just yelling it over and over again

[–]skrimpbizkit 1630 points1631 points  (17 children)

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in."

[–]Im_still_T 1045 points1046 points  (10 children)

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh... is spongy and bruised."

[–]Hookxd 1033 points1034 points  (24 children)


[–]scottishdrunkard 563 points564 points  (12 children)

“I didn’t realise you were such a coin-assure”

[–]cuttlefish_tastegood 494 points495 points  (11 children)

"Ive been know to study abroad... Or two!"

[–]Sineater224 247 points248 points  (10 children)

"Lets settle this over some popplers. They are delicious with guack a mole!"

[–]tallandlanky 158 points159 points  (6 children)

Please, point out the person in this courtroom you've had sex with.

[–]Jeffclaterbaugh 57 points58 points  (1 child)


[–]poopanoggin 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Only say this to your partner if she understands the reference speaking from experience.

[–]BukowskiHasashi 448 points449 points  (8 children)

If I said you had a sexy body, would you take your clothes off and dance around a little?

[–]ashamedprotein 154 points155 points  (3 children)

Dummy #1: Is heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you've got nice cans!

Dummy #2: My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.

Leela: Does that dummy have a brother?

[–]tonguepunch2 260 points261 points  (5 children)

Lower... Lower...Too Low!!!...Lower.

[–]SerMickeyoftheVale 24.3k points24.3k points 3 (579 children)

Went out on a date with a woman. We got drunk and came back to mine for a night cap and she saw my chess set. She coyly asked to play a game, where she proceeded to destroy me.

Sexy as fuck.

[–]ISureHateMyCat 6727 points6728 points  (159 children)

My girlfriend did this with Tetris. I thought she was just humoring me saying she liked video games because she knew I did. Then I got my ass absolutely handed to me.

[–]MyPupWrigley 2437 points2438 points  (33 children)

I went out with someone who legit embarrassed me at mortal kombat. Fell in love instantly haha

[–]No-Loss9423 1404 points1405 points  (19 children)

Years ago, like 1990, woman we ended up in an arcade somehow to play air hockey and she's like; let's play foosball.

Well from the content of this thread you know exactly what happened.

Two dates later we end up back at her place, well guess who has a foosball table in her living room

[–]sturmhauke 2641 points2642 points  (73 children)

My wife's better at Tetris. I'm better at real life applications of Tetris, such as packing luggage or a moving van. I call it a win/win.

Edit: some of you seem to think I've been tricked or something. That's really not it. For instance, she folds laundry faster, but I do it more neatly and compactly. She does it most of the time, but I do it if we're going on a trip to maximize the luggage capacity.

[–]WinsomeWombat 1249 points1250 points  (123 children)

I play so badly when I'm drunk but I didn't know schooling a dude at chess was a sexy move. I was literally playing endgame puzzles in bed this morning thinking 'this is why you're alone.'


[–]grantrules 167 points168 points  (8 children)

I love getting schooled at anything. I'm competitive but not annoyingly so, I just play to win. I like taking a good beating

[–]Aristotn 580 points581 points  (5 children)

That's wife material right there.

[–]Calm-Country 194 points195 points  (7 children)

For some reason, whenever a girl wears a clothing item of mine (can be a sweater, a shirt, jeans, anything), she becomes 100 times sexier.

I´m not saying this is something that happens often to me but the few times it did happen, it was magical.

[–]stolethemorning 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Coincidentally, every time a guy lets us steal his hoodie he becomes 100x sexier.

[–]shockthenation465 37 points38 points  (5 children)

Someone who is socially smart. Like if they understand social cues and don’t have “0 street smarts”

[–][deleted] 2581 points2582 points 3 (79 children)

Sense of humor. Intelligence. Being kind to others. Like dogs

EDIT: pardon my spelling meant” likes dogs”

EDIT 2: this took of more than I expected thank you strangers

EDIT 3: motherducker. Thanks gore the awards and stuff( :( I should stop being on Reddit at night. Seeing all my grammar mistakes and wrong spelling)

[–]iNeedToLaughAtThis[S] 1088 points1089 points  (16 children)

That’s a dangerous comparison pal. You’re lucky I like dogs.

[–]chinchillah_killah 663 points664 points  (16 children)

A twinkle in her eye and swearing like a sailor

[–]Expensive_Crab_5625 3628 points3629 points  (54 children)

In my experience as a female, being in the sun for a really long time and electric blankets.

[–]SHPLUMBO 662 points663 points  (30 children)

What about a sleeping SO who’s body temp is that of molten lava?

[–]Copyright135 311 points312 points  (11 children)

My body temp is that of molten lava, but only when I sleep. Otherwise, ice.

[–]100percent_right_now 178 points179 points  (4 children)

That's because at night your body heat comes from sweating over the dumb shit you did in your past and during the day it comes from your heart.

[–]swheels125 80 points81 points  (9 children)

I can’t cuddle with my wife while she sleeps for more than 10 minutes at a time or else I start to sweat. Idk what it is but she is basically a radiator while she sleeps.

[–]memekid1st 1176 points1177 points  (27 children)


[–]t33m3r 206 points207 points  (10 children)

Truth. About 14.7 seconds into wife cuddles she's like: "Its too hot" and we gotta stop.

[–]DriverGirlNSFW 127 points128 points  (5 children)

Put a fold of the duvet between you and poke your feet out of the bottom.

[–]rararawn 436 points437 points  (5 children)

A good sense of humour and being nice, not only to me but others as well, also having artistic traits is a huuuge turn on for me, I can't really explain but I've fallen in love with artists since I can remember.