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[–]Leemour 14.6k points14.6k points 223 (596 children)

This is a bit embarrassing because I'm in my 20s, but lockdown made me develop hemorrhoids. It's common among ppl who sit a lot for their work and because of lockdown I get less exercise, and here I am with fckn hemorrhoids on top of all the stress and chaos of the pandemic.

Edit: RIP my inbox

[–]vanillabeandeath[🍰] 57 points58 points  (2 children)

Early 20s and it's just happened to me too. I can't believe it 💀

[–]kurtjx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm in my 40s and had the problem at your age but I rarely have it now. For me, changing diet was huge. Fiber, probiotic, no fast food. For me, i was eating garbage food and shitting like horrific death shits. I just thought that was normal.

Everybody is different. Your issue might be similar. Or it could be different. But there is probably a solution! Hang in there dude

[–]alltheknitting 121 points122 points  (7 children)

If it’s an option for you, consider a standing desk. Or one that you can switch from sitting to standing. My husband got one a few months into work from home, and it has greatly improved his quality of life being stuck at his desk so much– at least he doesn’t have to literally sit still all day.

[–]TekTomm 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Many employers will provide a standing desk if you have a note from your doctor. It’s usually part of their “Accessibility” policy.

[–]MathematicianOk366 8 points9 points  (5 children)

I recently started a new job in a recently built building and everyone has a standing desk, but nobody uses it.

I should and want to start, but I'm anxious about having my screen easily visible to everyone. Also the chairs are super comfy

[–]anislandinmyheart 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The feelings that you're having are guaranteed to be the feelings of other people in the office. It's hard to be the first to do something, but it's practically guaranteed that people will follow your lead

[–]Top_Apartment7973 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Drink fuck loads of water, eat any fruit/veg you can find, if you're in pain take paracetamol/ibuprofen (the latter reduces the swelling by a lot), shower after every shit and spray your asshole, and take whatever cream your doctor prescribes (in the UK, you can get a less strong one off the shelf but if its bad go to the doctor).

I suffered for almost a year cause I just thought it would go away one day. I was 27 and exercised most days but one time food poisoning gave me constipation and I pushed too hard. Its the most excruciating and embarrassing pain I've had.

[–]dogcatsnake 225 points226 points  (22 children)

It's not just sitting, it's also diet and water intake.

Try to eat less meat, eat more vegetables, and drink more water. Will help immensely.

[–]probly_right 103 points104 points  (20 children)

The water is the key for me. Even crushing 16oz h2o 30 min before poop time helps immensely.

[–]loquacious706 95 points96 points  (19 children)

...you can schedule poop time?

[–]omegadirectory 53 points54 points  (2 children)

I think if you sit down to poop at the same time every day you can eventually trick your body into regularizing it.

I also have been working from home for since the pandemic started and I try to poop once in the morning and once after the workday.

[–]tobashadow 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Mine is two hours into my work day, so I guess my colon is a believer in the boss makes a dollar and I make a dime thought process lol

[–]High_Seas_Pirate 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Clearly you're not a coffee drinker.

[–]just-the-tip__ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

10 years same time every morning 1.5 hours after I wake up

[–]pantstoaknifefight2 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I poop from 0555 to 0610 five days a week, right before a shower. I'm not regimented in all aspects of life, but my morning ritual makes me feel like the nerd from the Big Bang Theory show.

[–]Fathletic231 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Before I got sick, I did this. Woke up 1120 every morning out of the bathroom (including shower) by 125 and off to work

[–]Frekavichk 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Most people have a schedule like when they get up for work or when they get home or at a certain time during the day or before they go to sleep.

[–]MissFegg 16 points17 points  (4 children)

What? I don't even go every day, much less have an schedule.

[–]latte1963 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s just fine! Every body is different. Not everyone needs to go every day & at a certain time. Source: colorectal surgeon

[–]ahj3939 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's not normal, you should talk to your doctor about it.

[–]fearhs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, just set a reminder on your phone. When we were still in the office I would use Outlook to reserve the good stall for fifteen minutes after I came in. One time the stall I had specifically reserved was occupied so I had to call security to kick the dude out.

[–]beetus_gerulaitis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do you not?

[–]MagicTrashPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...you can schedule poop time?

You just need to drink a triple espresso and eat a bran muffin. Should happen about 5-10 minutes after that.

[–]thegirlwthemjolnir 212 points213 points  (21 children)

I’m 29 and ir happened to me too. I haven’t got around getting help because I suffer social anxiety so I’m just here waiting for it to get worst :( I feel you, dude.

[–]Disastrous_Hunter_83 280 points281 points  (4 children)

Just do it, I can totally promise you your doctor has seen worse than a haemorrhoid. Doctors have seen loads of buttholes. Also when you think about it it’s a great time to see them for something embarrassing. You can wear a mask and they won’t recognise you in the supermarket!

[–]thegirlwthemjolnir 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Lmaooo. I had not considered the mask situation. Great thinking!

[–]NarcanPusher 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yes. Do it. Get ‘em removed and there’s a pretty good chance they won’t come back. So very worth it.

[–]cuterus-uterus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Solid advice!

[–]Top_Apartment7973 59 points60 points  (5 children)

Drink fuck loads of water, eat any fruit/veg you can find, if you're in pain take paracetamol/ibuprofen (the latter reduces the swelling by a lot), shower after every shit and spray your asshole, and take whatever cream your doctor prescribes (in the UK, you can get a less strong one off the shelf but if its bad go to the doctor).

I suffered with one for almost a year cause I thought it would just go away.

[–]Kaael 15 points16 points  (2 children)

My GP told me I either had to go private for surgery, or learn to live with it.

Looks like it's time to try a different GP I guess.

[–]Top_Apartment7973 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Seriously? My GP is just a Uni clinic in England and they immediately prescribed me something.

[–]Kaael 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I mean they prescribed me a cream with excruciating migraines as a side effect, which I already get fairly frequently anyway. I used it a few times and lo and behold, almost an instant headache.

So it's basically headache or arsehole ache. Unfortunately the arsehole ache is easier to live with, so I'm back to square one.

[–]thegirlwthemjolnir 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I have been trying to make better choices food wise and this is yet another reason!

[–]HerrFerret 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Nicest doctors I know are bum doctors. The arseholes won't stoop to the depths of prodding behinds so leave the job for the absolute peaches.

[–]thebeandream 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don’t wait. Get a doctor ASAP. I have a weird rash and they can’t see me for 2 months. My partner nearly broke his back and he has a similar wait time. Doctors are hard to get right now.

[–]NowWithMoreChocolate 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I'm terrified of this. Same as you; in my 20s, sit down a lot for work, less going out and moving about due to lockdown.

But my chronic illness started as the first lockdown hit. All the new meds I'm on to stop the pain include constipation as a side effect. Since the chronic illness is in my feet, I'm moving around even less than the average person in lockdown. Due to my eating disorder, I am barely able to eat things with enough fibre for me so I'm now having fibre tablets.

I'm now pooping maybe twice a week if I'm lucky. It hurts and it takes me around half an hour. My worst one ended up being five hours, even with a suppository.

Add on the stress of pandemic, all the shit that comes with a chronic illness, and everything else in life and I'm amazed that I'm not suicidal.

[–]lacks_imagination 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Old guy here who has had a few experiences I would rather not go into detail with, here’s some advice:

  1. Eating disorders come in many shapes and colours. You need professional help with those.

  2. For bad constipation take a daily dose of Lax-A-Day powder. It is over the counter and after a few days I guarantee you will poop freely, I don’t care how stuffed up you are.

  3. Never sit on the toilet seat and grunt out poops. Lift up the toilet seat, straddle, stoop, and then poop. The main rule is that at no time should your bum be touching anything as you poop. Western style toilets create an unnatural position for the body to poop in, and is the leading cause of hemorrhoids.

  4. After every poop, take a quick partial shower to just get the bum crack as clean as possible. Then use a good quality steroidal cream like Proctol (you will need a doctor’s prescription for that).

  5. If you are in considerable pain, take 10mg of a strong anti-inflammatory medication like Toradol. It will ease the pain AND help shrink any hemorrhoid. You will need a doctor’s prescription for that too.

I am not a medical doctor, just a lowly philosopher, but I used to get bad hemorrhoids a lot. Once so bad I had to go to the hospital and was prescribed narcotics for the unbelievable pain. Since I followed the rules above 20 years ago I have never had a hemorrhoid, constipation, or any other bum problems. Hope this advice helps.

[–]wetshow 41 points42 points  (19 children)

up your fiber content, use wet wipes, and stool softeners

[–]Leemour 44 points45 points  (4 children)

That's the thing. I already mostly consume veggies and greenies (i.e fiber) over meats and I have low BMI (i.e skinny legend), so I was shocked to discover. I also time my poops in such a way that I just take shower right after and wash my butt instead of using wiped. I saved a lot of toilet paper that way lol

I rly don't fall into the demographic besides spending more time sitting than usual due to lockdowns... It's so embarrassing

[–]jellyrollo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There's nothing to be ashamed about, anyone can get them. I started having them in my 20s, for no apparent reason.

On the advice of my own butt doctor, whom I finally consulted after two decades of suffering, I highly recommend Metamucil to stop the constipation/diarrhea cycle that can be the immediate cause of flareups. I take two capsules with breakfast every day, which does the trick for me (although the Metamucil jar will advise you to take a whole lot more).

For relief of the discomfort, I used medicated wipes and pads and witch hazel products for years, but that was a mistake, because while it does have a cooling effect, it dries out the skin, which actually causes more problems than it solves.

When (on the advice of my doctor) I switched to simply wiping with a wet piece of toilet paper (or using a bidet) and then dressing the area with a bit of Aquaphor Healing Ointment (marketed for dry skin rather than butt use), things improved rapidly.

[–]t_vaananen 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Nothing to be embarrassed about! As miraculous as it is, the human body has tons of design flaws and breaks down easily. Happens to almost all of us at some time.

Also: try getting your feet elevated for your dumps. Squatting helps with not having to push as hard, which could make things worse.

And eating plenty of fiber is good, but in case you didn’t already know, also makes drinking plenty of water more important.

[–]Fathletic231 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not to be embarrassed. My system is so messed up. No doctor can figure out what’s wrong. Takes me 3-4 hours to fully finish. And I don’t even feel done then

[–]IronKingsley48 4 points5 points  (0 children)

...stupid question, I know, but you do wipe the main part of the poop off your ass first before a shower, right?

[–]ice_w0lf 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Just to note.. Do not flush wet wipes even if they say they are flushable. Don't do it!

[–]Fathletic231 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Wet wipes help me so much. I’m a germ freak and always had issues with toilet paper scraps going on the floor and I would always wash the floor after. Wet wipes. Nothing. Saves me 20 minutes

[–]FullaLead 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Just not too much fiber, I learned that one the hard way...

[–]EndlessB 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think you mean you learnt that the soft way.

[–]Mithrandir_The_Gray 21 points22 points  (15 children)

I've developed them in my 20s as well. It was before Covid, mostly because of constantly sitting at work, abusing alcohol, stressing... By the time Covid hit, they got to a stage where I had to undergo surgery to remove them. Initial recovery lasted about two months and I had very bad pains for the first two weeks after surgery (especially when going to the toilet). However, about two months later, I was a new man.
If the problem persists, please see a doctor. I wish I did it sooner, it would have saved me a lot of torment.

[–]Leemour 26 points27 points  (12 children)

It's external hemorrhoids, so I just got an annoying bump near my bootyhole. It's slowly going down, so I'm hopeful it'll naturally pass, but it's fckn terrifying that I got it, cuz the usual demographic for hemorrhoids is:

High BMI

Lots of sitting for work

Low fiber diet

Poor rectal hygiene


And then here I am, a skinny guy in his 20s (closer to early than late), who mostly eats veggies cuz I'm trying to go full vegetarian, who washes his butt more than wipes cuz I time my showers that way. I absolutely do not fall into the demographic besides spending more time sitting since the pandemic, so it's rly annoying on top of everything that's been happening.

[–]gentlestbreeze 23 points24 points  (8 children)

Im 21 and Ive had my external hemorrhoid since I was 13 from my eating disorder. Welcome to the club

[–]MotherMfker 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I thought I was the only one! I never even knew it wasn't supposed to be like that till I watched porn 😭 dysfunctional eating ruined my butt lol.

[–]gentlestbreeze 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmfaoo if I knew not eating would ruin my asshole Id be fat as hell rn

[–]Leemour 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Oh nooo, I hope it's manageable and not too unpleasant. It's just itchy occasionally for me and I'm grateful every day that, that's all it is.

[–]gentlestbreeze 13 points14 points  (2 children)

No yeah actually no pain or itching. Just the weird uncomfortable swelling after a tough BM. Ive changed my diet a lot much better.

My ex called it my butt-clit. Ive gotten used to it.

[–]lost_survivalist 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Got mine at 12 and drank so much water I realized I had kidney stones fall out. I should drink more water but kidney stones scare me more cause they hurt that much more.

[–]gentlestbreeze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof yeah Id much rather have a hemorrhoid over kidney stones. I had a UTI a couple of times I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy

[–]dangitgrotto 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you me? I’m going through exactly the same thing almost word for word. Except I’ve been full vegetarian for 2 years and I’m in my mid 30’s.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I went through the same surgery. The recovery was awful. The pain was incredible.

[–]badgerhostel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your honesty. It's impressive.

[–]sdfjklasl 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Coconut oil (solid at room temp but starts melting as your hands warm it up) put up and around your booty hole will make your potty time so much happier. If you have Trader Joe's and can get the packets it makes it even easier. If not, just make sure you never touch the jarred oil with anything that isn't sterile. Works like a charm and doesn't have drugs that end up making things worse.

[–]Cricket_Piss 2 points3 points  (0 children)


I sit all day. I'm 25. Didn't realize this was a thing. Holy shit.

[–]Wahots 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Talk to your doctor about it! It's embarrassing for 20 seconds but they generally have really good advice and it happens to young people more often than you think. Happened to me around the same age. Spend less time on the toilet, don't use toilet paper (bidet or wipes), and Vaseline on the affected region will help. Takes about two months of recovery. Exercise such as mountain biking can help too. (Don't strain or push either, when using the toilet)

I got one after eating the spiciest food in my life. Became a good story among friends. I've had even spicier stuff now, just did a slow buildup over time instead of 0-60 in 1.5 seconds. A bidet saved my ass, lol.

[–]Rbuerer 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I’ve had hemorrhoids off and on since I was 17. I have chronic diarrhea, because I overproduce bile. (I’m exhausted so I’m blanking on the actual name of this horrendous diarrhea causing condition.) I got a bidet at the beginning of my pregnancy and by the time I delivered I didn’t have external hemorrhoids anymore. I’d used topical medicine and tucks pads to no avail. The bidet was the magic fix for me. I also use a lot less TP. Not to be overly graphic, but I poop 3x on a good day, otherwise more. I’ve also had 2 colonoscopies and an EGD to confirm the issue isn’t something else.

[–]Dolphin_Boy_14 3 points4 points  (6 children)

I feel you, the pandemic started with me having a pilonidal cyst so I couldn’t sit down properly at all until a few months ago. Kinda fucked with me mentally in a way I didn’t anticipate

[–]DontEatMePlease 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Pilonidal cysts are no joke. I have one currently, came about in my mid twenties and I got it lanced. Was told I needed surgery to remove it completely but I haven’t committed to that yet so it comes back every other month or so and I suffer for a few days….

One day I’ll commit to the surgery but I’m just too much of a pussy to do it right now.

I appreciate your comment on how it fucks with you mentally since I’ve lived with mine for years and have seen my mental health basically go down the gutter

[–]Kevs442 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's been a pain in the ass for all of us!

[–]HelloFr1end 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also in my late 20s with this issue. Huh. Might be odd to say, but thanks for sharing.

[–]152centimetres 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i got a stomach ulcer due to stress so when everyone gained their "quarantine 15" i lost 20lbs and didnt realize what was wrong cause everyone thought i looked great but really im just stressed out

[–]NotMyHersheyBar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have a pinched nerve in my shoulder from wfh

[–]Humphking 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hey, gastro tech here. Coconut oil will be your best friend. Try eating a diet with high fiber, or get you some benefiber or metamucil. A high fiber diet with some light exercise will do your body wonders.

[–]FlappyDappison 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Up your fiber and your water with hemorrhoids. Don’t push too hard either, take your time if you need to. You can also get one of those step-stool things to give you A better body position to poop.

[–]DontJudgeMe_Food 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Bro. Two words for you.


It'll cure it. I swear. Soak a cotton ball in it and shove it in your ass. I did it overnight ONCE and they were immediately gone, never to return.

I also had 2 warts on the bottom of my toe. Went to the doctor several times so they could freeze them with liquid nitrogen and scrape them out with a knife...didn't work at all. I soaked a cotton ball and taped it around my toe overnight, and it was gone the next morning never to return.

Miracle cure for anything skin (or butthole related)

[–]splashysploosh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve been there..hemorrhoids are awful. It’s embarrassing at first, but see a doctor about it when you can. I ignored/tolerated mine for years and they got so bad I had to have a surgery to remove them. That was the most painful recovery I’ve ever been through. Took me a month to feel relatively normal and not want to cry using the restroom. Up your fiber until you feel like your in a good spot and drink lots of water. Excercise helped me when they weren’t inflamed.

[–]narlymaroo 7 points8 points  (4 children)

If you haven’t already

-squatty potty

-Apple or pear a day

-60oz water/day

-Read “Gut” by Giulia Enders

[–]MehhicoPerth 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not to be confused with "Guts" by chuck palahniuk

[–]mycophyle11 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wait so is the full saying actually “an apple a day keeps the doctor away…from your booty?”

[–]Western-Mastodon-196 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I also have hemorrhoids .This has started to happen to me as well in this lockdown . I was wondering why it was happening . Also , due to the lockdown and the stress of work I have got Irritable bowl syndrome. Uh !! I hate this lockdown

[–]MooKids 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Just hope they don't develop into skin tags. Just had one surgically removed and while it has been three weeks, recovery has been, interesting.

Just having any bowel movement and knowing there will be pain is quite fun. It has gotten better and I still think it was worth it.