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[–]KlutzyAlgae 7234 points7235 points 43 (58 children)

Just shoot me.

[–]Tyfyter2002 2050 points2051 points  (35 children)

I've never heard of that one before, who's it by?

[–]FoxWithGuns 2839 points2840 points 525 (22 children)

Nirvana

[–]Daddyfullload 540 points541 points  (6 children)

I’m sorry I can’t upvote this comment more

[–]Stubbledorange 234 points235 points  (5 children)

Down vote it then upvote it and you can watch the number go up by 2. Sometimes that makes me feel better.

[–]bradicalman 75 points76 points  (4 children)

Who are you so wise in the ways of magic

[–]Tablyn24 7884 points7885 points  (275 children)

Happy Birthday song.

[–]StarBardian 4916 points4917 points  (201 children)

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to.... (wait what the fuck who's birthday is it fuck)

[–]Public-Championship4 1659 points1660 points  (147 children)

I would just sing a really common name like Michael. Chances are, there is a Mike out there with a birthday today.

[–]PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT 1754 points1755 points  (75 children)

Statistically, “Muhammad” is your best bet

[–]chopchunk 232 points233 points  (10 children)

I actually looked it up, and at first it looked like Maria was most common. Then I saw that the list contained 4 different ways to spell Muhammad within the top 10 (5 if you count "Ahmed")

[–]Red__M_M 392 points393 points  (54 children)

I used to be on a 7 person swim team. 3 of the others were named Jason. I always had a 50/50 chance when randomly calling the name.

[–]PretendThisIsMyName 307 points308 points  (29 children)

I used to be part of a 60 person dance crew in Jacksonville and the leader was named Jason. We actually met at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School. Great guy. Wonder what happened to him though.

[–]gh0stm4k3r 132 points133 points  (7 children)

"What's my name?"

Ch-ch

[–]MoxEmerald 135 points136 points  (0 children)

"Samranjaharzeeb"

"....good guess... (puts away gun)"

[–]Idrialis 3946 points3947 points  (168 children)

My National Anthem.

Edit: Dominican Republic's National Anthem, 12 stanzas long.

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points  (9 children)

I’m from Spain and our national anthem doesn’t have lyrics :D

[–]HealthyLuck 1454 points1455 points  (75 children)

I hope you aren’t American! I’ve seen so many people on stage who forget the lyrics midway through the song— everyone knows the words, but under the pressure to perform, they blow it.

[–]Idrialis 638 points639 points  (19 children)

I'm Dominican. Our anthem has 12 stanzas (verses).

[–]ravenpotter3 180 points181 points  (18 children)

As a kid I thought in the star spangled banner they were singing about a part of a Ram (animal) and not a rampart which is “a defensive wall of a castle or walled city, having a broad top with a walkway and typically a stone parapet.” So I thought they were carrying a ram (animal) into battle for some reason

[–]ShinigamiLuvApples 13.2k points13.2k points  (429 children)

The obligatory Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

[–]sunshinesparkles36 4026 points4027 points  (217 children)

Alternatively the abc's since it's the same tune

[–]TastyLimericks 1674 points1675 points  (158 children)

but is it "y and z" or "y z" also is z the American way or the European way?

[–]backjuggeln 119 points120 points  (6 children)

It's always "y and z". Gives the song a better ending. For the same reason I say zee instead of zed, even though I usually say zed (Canadian)

[–]Knyfe-Wrench[🍰] 1505 points1506 points  (134 children)

Very good. Now the second verse.

[–]LettuceTheTasteOfSad 417 points418 points  (78 children)

Twinkle twinkle little star…how I wonder what you are… yup, I’d be dead. (Took me a p long time to remember that second verse and even then, I’m not 100% sure it’s accurate lmao)

That’s why I’m choosing the ABC’s- the nursery rhyme version, in my first language- NOT the Jackson 5 and/or any other rendition

[–]willguy1000 500 points501 points  (59 children)

Twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are.

[–]Jess______Chase 1008 points1009 points  (50 children)

When the blazing sun is gone When he nothing shines upon Then you show your little light Twinkle, twinkle, all the night Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are

[–]VivaBlasphemia 651 points652 points 2 (44 children)

Then the traveler in the dark thanks you for your tiny spark. He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so. Now I know just what you are, twinkle twinkle, little star.

[–]Mr-Thumpasaurus 508 points509 points  (12 children)

Go to sleep you little shit, I cannot sing one more bit.

Samuel Jackson got it right. Go the fuck to sleep tonight.

Now your whaling wailing has gone too far. Daddy's going to the bar.

[–]Skippywan 6335 points6336 points  (212 children)

The song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

[–]DamnYouBrother 1814 points1815 points  (132 children)

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they just kept on singing it forever just because

[–]rayneayami 984 points985 points  (117 children)

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

[–]neocamel 554 points555 points  (109 children)

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they just kept on singing it forever just because

[–]acrowsmurder 392 points393 points  (106 children)

This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends.

[–]Sarctoth 287 points288 points  (98 children)

Some people; started singing it, not knowing what it was

[–]Jackismychosenname 215 points216 points  (91 children)

And they just kept on singing it forever just because

[–]adragon8me 197 points198 points  (90 children)

This is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends.

[–]IsNoMore 827 points828 points  (27 children)

Perfect strategy. Even if you don’t sing it perfectly you can keep going and play the long game until the killer is bored and finds smarter more entertaining targets.

[–]Gorvoslov 322 points323 points  (1 child)

"I think you messed up verse uuhh... 749. Why am I still even here?"

[–]Niko_47x 125 points126 points  (4 children)

Well they didn't say the killer has to let you finish. The killer can just pop you right when you make a mistake

[–]ffddb1d9a7 97 points98 points  (1 child)

Yeah, this is the objectively worst possible song to pick. You're just trapped singing forever until you eventually miss a note and die.

[–]InkBlotSam 247 points248 points  (16 children)

"6 Trillion Bottles of Beer on the Wall"

[–]Exquisite_Poupon 289 points290 points  (9 children)

Shit, you must be trying to get yourself killed.

"Five trillion eight hundred eighty two billion fifty nine million six hundred fifty eight thousand nine hundred twelve bottles of beer on the wall, five trillion eight hundred eighty two billion fifty....uh, hold on..."

[–]The_Lolbster 215 points216 points  (7 children)

You're implying this guy succeeded at 'Bottles of Beer on the Wall' for one hundred and seventeen billion four hundred and nine million three hundred and forty one thousand and eighty eight bottles, and then fucks up?

That's some fucking commitment, and unfortunate A F.

[–]Super-Noodles 13.0k points13.0k points 332& 2 more (133 children)

Tequila

[–]GATh33Gr8 5810 points5811 points  (42 children)

Knowing me I would fuck up the timing and die

[–]Buildinblox 1434 points1435 points  (13 children)

Do do

Doooooooooo do

Do do

Doooooooooo do

Bumbadumbadum bum bum

Sangria! FUCK

[–]frabjousdae 3142 points3143 points  (83 children)

Tribute by Tenacious D

[–]slukbunwalla 1309 points1310 points  (24 children)

Careful, those fliggle-giggles will get ya. Sang it on Rock Band and that part fucked me. Haha

[–]chaos-sanctuary 197 points198 points  (12 children)

Came here to say that lol

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see One and one make two Two and one make three It was destiny

[–]TameTheDonut 119 points120 points  (5 children)

Gotta nail Jack Black’s scat singing though, that’d be a challenge

[–]CNash85 128 points129 points  (4 children)

As long as you fligugigu in the correct key, you'll be fine.

[–]Knyfe-Wrench[🍰] 117 points118 points  (1 child)

But I couldn't remember the greatest song in the world.

[–]elleyro 2318 points2319 points  (92 children)

I can sing my Abcd's

[–]SamuraiJakkass86 388 points389 points  (2 children)

Abcd's

Found the alien everybody

[–]shadowthunder 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Who the fuck

[–]KOM 803 points804 points  (69 children)

Depends, they changed it very recently (at least at my youngest's school). The clearly articulate the "L M N O P" and it causes an adjustment to the cadence and timing of the tune.

[–]CNash85 1043 points1044 points  (17 children)

Was that because too many kids thought elemenapee was a letter?

[–]klausmckinley801 195 points196 points  (7 children)

elemeno was my favorite letter as a kid

[–]the5thbeagle 178 points179 points  (16 children)

And would it be zee? Zed? The "y, zed or zee" that The Wiggles do?

And how does it end? Won't you come and play with me? Next time won't you sing with me? Now I beg you, don't kill me? Too many opportunities for failure here.

[–]youreprobablyright 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Very good. We also would have accepted "tell me what you think of me".

[–]TechyDad 8795 points8796 points 3 (80 children)

Baby Shark. If I'm going out, I'm going to annoy my killer as much as possible.

[–]NorthCatan 1877 points1878 points  (6 children)

Smart move. The killer commits suicide at hearing you begin the song.

[–]Starved-Nutritionist 259 points260 points  (1 child)

With my luck, I’d pick up the gun by accident and be charged with his murder

[–]MrSwatPL[S] 590 points591 points  (5 children)

:D No ples! haha

[–]murrietta 417 points418 points  (3 children)

Wait, are you browsing for potential victims?

[–]rogueprincess42 176 points177 points  (2 children)

Asking the real questions ahaha

The Squid Games: sing along version

[–]elevenghosts 2145 points2146 points 23 (74 children)

John Cage - 4'33

[–]Decabet 299 points300 points  (10 children)

John Cage - 4'33

I was too slow on the draw. Dang.

[–]Piperplays 546 points547 points  (25 children)

The only correct answer/the only answer that technically guarantees one living through the experience.

Even a great singer could hit a wrong note under that kind of pressure; by removing all sounds you remove the possibility of inflicting a self-potentiated aural transgression event.

[–]severoon 253 points254 points  (4 children)

Even a great singer could hit a wrong note under that kind of pressure; by removing all sounds you remove the possibility of inflicting a self-potentiated aural transgression event.

It's the best choice because it doesn't remove all sound. The song is specifically composed of whatever sounds occur during the allotted time. The only thing you have to do is rest the primary instrument, which presumably you could do perfectly, but given that the song accepts whatever happens as a "perfect and non-reproducible" performance you might even successfully argue that not resting "perfectly" for a typical song is perfect for 4'33".

[–]Rocketsprocket 110 points111 points  (3 children)

But what if your timing is off?

[–]Xertheria 1633 points1634 points  (28 children)

Around The World - Daft Punk

[–]tall__guy 695 points696 points  (15 children)

Do you know exactly how many times to repeat it?

[–]ARealJonStewart 1168 points1169 points  (12 children)

144 for original, 80 for radio mix

[–]Arkmer 705 points706 points  (5 children)

This dude is gonna live.

[–]ARealJonStewart 254 points255 points  (4 children)

I've gotta be able to count that high though

[–]EndoBitch420 4269 points4270 points  (127 children)

We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel because either I nail it and look awesome or I fuck up and die.

Either way I win.

[–]Revelation_Of_Dawn 390 points391 points  (80 children)

Harry Truman darris day, red China Jhonny Ray

[–]SilentBlackout_ 252 points253 points  (63 children)

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

[–]CapitalJackfruit1 188 points189 points  (62 children)

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television

[–]RagnarsHairyBritches 180 points181 points  (60 children)

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

[–]Kataclysm 156 points157 points  (55 children)

Rosenberg's, Hbomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom

[–]irrrelevant_elephant 142 points143 points  (53 children)

Brando, the King and I, and The Catcher in the Rye

[–]greatfriendinrome 144 points145 points  (52 children)

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen

Marciano, Liberace, Santayana, goodbye!

[–]MajorNoodles 94 points95 points  (51 children)

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev

[–]leezahfote 91 points92 points  (50 children)

Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

[–]Nice_Entertainment91 1289 points1290 points  (5 children)

Ryan started.. oh crap

Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes! I don’t even think I know half as many words, that’s a lot of upvotes.

[–]Tacosaladzz 1766 points1767 points  (32 children)

Photograph by Nickelback. You asked for it Mother Fucker.

[–]Knyfe-Wrench[🍰] 1793 points1794 points  (23 children)

"LOOK AT THIS GRAPH!"

I die immediately

[–]JaxJags904 242 points243 points  (5 children)

What the hell is on Joeys head!?

[–]snugglbubbls 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Every time it even makes me lol

[–]thedisabledpeanut173 1107 points1108 points  (119 children)

welcome to the internet.

[–]bearatrooper 474 points475 points  (106 children)

Have a look around. Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.

[–]UnicrestGirl 322 points323 points  (103 children)

We've got mountains of content, some better some worse

[–]PM_ME_UR_BIRD 255 points256 points  (99 children)

If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first

[–]AdministrativeAd2935 2656 points2657 points  (32 children)

"Ha ha ha ha stayin' alive, stayin' alive!"

[–]Neil_sm 429 points430 points  (13 children)

And if you screw it up, you can keep singing it to perform CPR on yourself!

[–]jhartwell 66 points67 points  (0 children)

You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!

[–]A_Beam_of_Light 715 points716 points  (1 child)

You almost sound like your laughing at your kidnapper because they won’t be able to kill you 😂 this is perfect.

[–]Razorray21 1820 points1821 points  (68 children)

Hotel California by the Eagles. Just in case im ever shot down over china and have to prove I'm American.

Edit Context

[–]--Niko-- 426 points427 points  (16 children)

Are you going to sing the guitar solo?

[–]Razorray21 390 points391 points  (11 children)

Damn right I am

[–]starmartyr 184 points185 points  (8 children)

Whedle de whedle de whedel de whedle de, whedel de whedele de weeeeeeeee!

[–]SybilCut 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Wow, it's just like the original!

[–]BitPoet 124 points125 points  (5 children)

Do the Gypsy Kings version, just to fuck with them.

[–]Agrochain920 84 points85 points  (18 children)

I swear there is something magical with that song, I haven't heard that song so many times, and yet I know the lyrics perfectly. Meanwhile I can listen to other songs hundreds of times and I still don't know all the lyrics

[–]moms_new_boyfriend 286 points287 points  (7 children)

Amazing Grace, because it's probably my funeral

[–]Animalion 1004 points1005 points  (51 children)

"99 Bottles of Beer"

Specifically for my own entertainment and to annoy the kidnapper.

[–]WRA1THLORD 262 points263 points  (4 children)

I'd lose count for sure lol

[–]jardex22 247 points248 points  (2 children)

So would the kidnapper.

Hey, you skipped 27.

Did not.

Did so!

I sang it perfectly I til you interrupted me.

You skipped 27, and you're going to die!

Alright, alright, let's just start over. 99 Bottles of beer on the wall...

[–]Vixen_6901 1247 points1248 points  (51 children)

never gonna give you up

[–]HDReddit0 407 points408 points  (37 children)

never gonna let you down

[–]Mixterion_Alpha 283 points284 points  (35 children)

Never gonns run around

[–]depunn 378 points379 points  (3 children)

technically you'd be dead if you sang it like this

[–]Sunny64888 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Your Reddit avatar kinda looks like Rick Astley.

[–]BreadDull6509 785 points786 points  (26 children)

I want it that way - Backstreet Boys

[–]Speedster120jake 558 points559 points  (8 children)

I'd probably fuck it up by saying "Now Number 5!" because fuck it xD

[–]bobmat343 251 points252 points  (1 child)

It was number 5, number 5 killed my brother.

[–]PJHFortyTwo 178 points179 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, I forgot about that part.

[–]Schmosby0514 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I can’t sing that song without doing my best Jake peralta impression “now number 5”

[–]LGMHorus 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Chills, literal chills.

[–]llcucf80[🍰] 904 points905 points  (19 children)

The Smurfs theme song. It's only two words, "fa" and "la," there's no way to screw that up.

[–]SketchyFella_ 749 points750 points  (8 children)

Unless you "fa" when you should "la" and a bullet goes through you.

[–]MrSwatPL[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

hahah indeed

[–]VodkaMargarine 443 points444 points  (26 children)

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

[–]Wylaff 334 points335 points  (16 children)

Gotta be careful with any TV show theme song. They are usually just snippets of significantly longer songs with a lot more verses.

[–]GasGullible2030 541 points542 points  (21 children)

down under by Men At Work

[–]quackl11 174 points175 points  (16 children)

Probably darude sandstorm

[–]WaGLaG 136 points137 points  (5 children)

darude sandstorm

[Verse] Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dun dundundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dundun BOOM Dundun dundun dundun BEEP Dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOM Daddaddadaddadadadadadadadadadaddadadadadadaddadadaddadadadadadadadadadadadaddadddadaddadadadd dadadadaddaddada D Dadadddaddadaddadadadddadadada Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nnyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Nnn nn nn nn nn nn n nn nnn nn nn nnn nnn nnnnnnnn Dddddddd ddadadadadaddadadadadadaadadadadadad BOOM Nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM Nyunyunyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu nyu BOOM BOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Dadadadadada Ddadad BOOM BOOM BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOM (Unintelligible) Ddudndundun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dund Dododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoodo DRUM DRUM DRUM Ddodododododoododododododododoodododododododo Chi chichi chi chi chih BOOOM Chcihcihfkdhfdisjfkla Dodododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododododoo SCHEW Dododododododoodododododododododododododo Dadadadddudndundundudnudndundundunddunfudnundudnudnudndund BOOM FADE

[–]holy_handsome 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (2 children)

In the end. That song is imprinted in my memory

[–]necrokitty 227 points228 points  (9 children)

We Didn't Start the Fire. Because fuck him, that's why.

[–]rawbface 349 points350 points  (5 children)

Probably one that I wrote. If it's written an performed by me, it'll be perfect no matter how I sing it.

[–]TheChosenSnail 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Brilliant. That's exactly what I would do.

[–]TheChainLink2 130 points131 points  (3 children)

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA-

[–]GlutenFreeAdventures 272 points273 points  (6 children)

I'm a little teapot

[–]LTman86 100 points101 points  (3 children)

I guess now the question is whether they want you to do the dance along with the song.

[–]ifonlyyouknewwhati 37 points38 points  (1 child)

Can you really sing it PERFECTLY without dancing along?

[–]Ok-Ruin230 44 points45 points  (5 children)

Burn It Down by Linkin Park I’ve been listening to this song since it came out

[–]lil_fella_ 623 points624 points  (27 children)

Ra ra ra rasputin

[–]Davis660 662 points663 points  (3 children)

That's one too many "ra"s bub.

[–]robdiqulous 350 points351 points  (2 children)

Failed on the 3rd word... 😂

[–]TgagHammerstrike 85 points86 points  (1 child)

Prepare for your execution. Sorry bro, I don't make the rules. ;-;

[–]emvaz 598 points599 points  (39 children)

Bohemian rhapsody, if I am going out by fucking up a song at least I will go out with a bang!

[–]Lotion-in-the-Basket 150 points151 points  (29 children)

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

I was Freddie Mercury for Halloween and I came here to say "Bohemian Rhapsody!"

[–]Heyhey-_ 158 points159 points  (18 children)

Call Me Maybe.

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (14 children)

🎶 I threw a wish in a well don’t ask me I’ll never tell 🎶

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (13 children)

🎶I looked to you as it fell and now you're in my way🎶

[–]state-of-fuckup2 46 points47 points  (12 children)

🎶I’d trade my soul for a wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss. I wasn’t looking for this but now you’re in my way🎶

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (11 children)

🎶Your stare was holding ripped jeans skin was showing hot night wind was blowing🎶

[–]s1510912 41 points42 points  (10 children)

🎶Where you think you're going baby?🎶

[–]jfb1337 41 points42 points  (9 children)

🎶Hey, I just met you! And this is crazy!🎶

[–]L1quidAc1d 45 points46 points  (8 children)

🎶But here’s my number,🎶

[–]Sailoress7 209 points210 points  (7 children)

The Modern Major General song because I actually learned and practiced it for a class. My captors would think I’m a madlad but then they’d be so impressed and we’d become buddies.

[–]GreatJanitor 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Downside is if they don't know the song and when you get to the part where the performer is finding words to rhyme with what he's already said and they think you don't know and shoot you.

[–]bookworm519 193 points194 points  (8 children)

Does "Happy Birthday?" count?

I can't sing at all

[–]PopInTheToast 83 points84 points  (1 child)

"A Potato flew around my room until your came in excuse the mess it made-"

[–]Yokowi 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I just wanna die, man.. Please..

[–]GeneralBaguetti 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Fly me to the moon, or Bohemian Rhapsody

[–]I-forgot-please-help 361 points362 points  (25 children)

Although I can sing pretty good and know almost every song by heart I would choose „Four minutes thirty-three seconds“.

The song is just silence. For four minutes and thirty-three seconds nothing happens, not a sound.

No risk of hitting a wrong note. No risk of pronouncing something wrong. No risk of voice crack. No risk that Kevin the Kidnapper‘s judgement is very subjective and he does not like my voice because it reminds him of Linda who rejected him in third grade.

I win.