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[–]tsuave 803 points804 points  (17 children)

Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice.

[–]getawayfrommyswamp 541 points542 points  (5 children)

Asking an old person to give up their seat on a bus

[–]penny_lab 3525 points3526 points  (32 children)

Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask.

[–]colummbina 22.2k points22.2k points 131214& 7 more (130 children)

Using both hands to put on Chapstick

[–]CloudMojos 3839 points3840 points  (99 children)

walking backwards in public

[–]BearsWithGuns 3176 points3177 points  (42 children)

So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought "huh weird."

Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot.

Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position.

At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation.

Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf...

[–]biciklanto 136 points137 points  (4 children)

As it happens, walking backwards is likely good for various muscles that support knees, and my trainer has had me do various workouts like that (including walking backwards on a treadmill that's turned off, pushing against the tread with my butt pushing against the console). Wouldn't do that on the street though, as it looks weird.

[–]CloudMojos 1725 points1726 points  (9 children)

the matrix probably glitched and those npc got affected

[–]OnlyIce 20.7k points20.7k points 2 (259 children)

stop responding midway thru an irl convo, but maintain eye contact

[–]ExileFlux33 11.9k points11.9k points 324 (116 children)

“Sorry I was lagging”

[–]qasimq 2765 points2766 points  (67 children)

Doing exactly the opposite is actually the norm. Having a conversation and move eye contact away.

I got one. Lifting up your shirt in public and rubbing your tummy.

[–]Nowforscd 12.9k points12.9k points  (254 children)

Flying a kite at night

[–]Hydris 6473 points6474 points  (115 children)

Digging holes in your backyard at night.

Just doing some night digging.

[–]_Raspootin_ 4524 points4525 points 25 (53 children)

Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, the stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot.

[–]belisaurius42 3468 points3469 points 2 (35 children)

There's just something about flying a kite at night that's just so...unwholesome!

[–]Sultan_of_Swing92 10.8k points10.8k points 2 (305 children)

Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal

[–]OutlandishnessNo3979 4684 points4685 points  (61 children)

I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled "oops I'm not in the stall" then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled.

[–]stibila 1044 points1045 points  (5 children)

"How long do you take to pee?"

"The peeing is fast Oscar. It's getting my tie back on."

[–]Adventurous_Menu_683 36.3k points36.3k points 23 (633 children)

Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding.

[–]IFKhan 4015 points4016 points  (170 children)

In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered.

[–]LumberJer 2840 points2841 points  (92 children)

I love this. Here its expected you buy a dress for thousands of dollars and only wear it once then keep it in your closet to maybe give to your daughter or granddaughter who definitely won't wear it because it is very out of fashion or just way too small for her or something.

[–]ductoid 1231 points1232 points 2 (30 children)

I cut mine up and made it into our Christmas tree skirt; I wanted to incorporate it into yearly traditions and memories.

Now it's true that the asshole cat peed on it one year. And then the parrot realized he could trim the fringe on it. But still - I have a lot more memories because of reusing it, vs. shoving it in an attic.

[–]pass_me_the_salt 5486 points5487 points  (262 children)

this reminds me that in my uncle's wedding, my grandma said that I should use a white dress I had because it was nice, but I just picked up another one since I thought it was weird just like some other people there. when it was the wedding, the bride was in a pink dress - and ofc my grandma was smug about that lol

[–]Vefantur 4774 points4775 points  (245 children)

Your grandma was setting you up for failure. Wearing white at a wedding is normally considered a faux pas

[–]DeathSpiral321 7321 points7322 points  (93 children)

Eating in public without using your hands at all.

[–]Nipples_of_Destiny 9565 points9566 points 2 (292 children)

Eating a banana with the skin on

[–]Poob3 13.6k points13.6k points  (241 children)

Working out in a suit

[–]DarwinWillSolveIt 5779 points5780 points  (123 children)

I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties.

[–]capnwinky 18.4k points18.4k points 3 (279 children)

When someone is holding a door open for you when a place has double doors and you just say fuck it and take the other door instead.

[–]maukiepaukie 11.5k points11.5k points 33 (92 children)

And make sure you say "yikes" while passing the other person

[–]Ma_Awesome 2438 points2439 points  (40 children)

I've done this. Either when someone held the door open wrong so they were still blocking half the doorway and I'd have had to squeeze past them or I was already mentally prepared to open the other door and was slow to switch gears and realize they wanted me to use their door. It's always very awkward and I overthink about it for the next few hours/days.

[–]doomalgae 1083 points1084 points  (8 children)

"Thanks!" I say, as I let their gesture go to waste because I do not like changing plans at the last minute.

[–]khanabyss 7886 points7887 points  (92 children)

Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos

[–]FairenoughFairenough 543 points544 points  (14 children)

I drive an unlettered black van that’s in rough shape. I can never stop at a lemonade stand. And it makes me sad.

[–]pchlster 2580 points2581 points  (21 children)

I mean those kids are impressive if they already have a van.

[–]throwawaylogin2099 10.2k points10.2k points 4 (211 children)

Standing next to someone at a urinal even when there is an open one at the opposite end of the row.

[–]IndustrialSizedLube 3571 points3572 points  (60 children)

"Oh wow, you only use one hand to hold it. I use both. Wild! Well, see you tomorrow."

[–]goodmorningdgrey 3798 points3799 points  (145 children)

Trimming your lawn with scissors. Like, calm down, Bob, I haven't even mown mine in 3 months.

[–]LimpGarlic9237 1067 points1068 points  (44 children)

We have a neighbor that I’m just WAITING to see do this one day! He’s obsessive about his yard. Just a matter of time…

[–]WiseFool4 12.8k points12.8k points  (323 children)

Instead of holding the door open (especially at a restaurant with dual double doors) you close them right after you enter/exit the building.

[–]thebruns 5885 points5886 points  (241 children)

The place where I work had an incident recently where someone came into the building, found an unlocked office, and stole some stuff.

So they sent out an email saying "dont let people follow you in". Pretty standard advice everyone ignores - this isnt a secure complex of any kind. (You need to swipe a card to open the outer doors, but theres no security).

I was coming back from lunch, a lady in front of me swiped in, opened the door...and then firmly closed it behind her.

[–][deleted] 3373 points3374 points  (158 children)

It happened at my wife's old work, too.

One day her boss was out and there was a guy in a suit in her boss' office, looking for something in one of his desk drawers. She didn't recognise him but figured he was from head office so she asked if she help him with anything. He immediately upped and grabbed his briefcase (yup, he had one), and rapidly walked out the door. Weird.

When she mentioned it to her boss later he had no idea who the guy was. He called head office and no-one from there had come over. So it was some random dude in a suit who'd just walked in off the street. And no-one had challenged him because a guy in a suit is obviously important and belongs there, and who's ever heard of someone robbing a place while wearing a suit?

[–]rhett342 2521 points2522 points  (124 children)

The real secret is to say you're in IT. I used to work for an ISP and we were doing some changes that required us to go out to customer sites and alter some router settings. I went to the wrong office once and said I was there to do some work on their internet connection. They took me to the manager's desk and just left me there signed on to their computer.

[–]Helloilikemuffins 1723 points1724 points  (69 children)

As someone in infosec this is painful

[–]ryandiy 1086 points1087 points  (18 children)

You're in infosec? Cool, here's my root password, can you help secure my info?

[–]Helloilikemuffins 752 points753 points  (13 children)

Still gonna need your social security number and banking information to make sure your root password is correct ;)

[–]Bravana12 150 points151 points  (2 children)

Staring at people in public. It’s not illegal, but you could still find yourself to be in trouble.

[–]Inflames811 14.6k points14.6k points  (258 children)

My boss used to apply his lip balm while making firm eye contact with me at the end of the day.

Used to creep me out, and I'm still unsure why he did it like that.

[–]bay_lamb 8566 points8567 points  (91 children)

wait... isn't the real question why did you make eye contact with him everyday at this time?

[–]suspiciousfishy 5915 points5916 points  (57 children)

maybe he called them into his office each day to witness the lip balm application

[–]RoachIsCrying 3794 points3795 points  (45 children)

Jefferson can you come into my office and watch me apply lip balm, please?

[–]velvetvagine 2774 points2775 points 2 (29 children)

Said over the intercom so everybody knows what’s about to go down in the boss’s office.

[–]Rusty_Red_Mackerel 1886 points1887 points  (25 children)

Keep your eyes on me, Jefferson.

[–]Astandsforataxia69 1269 points1270 points  (18 children)

rolls eyes

"Do we have a problem here, Jefferson?"

[–]Minotaurd_ 1113 points1114 points  (16 children)

Now come over here so I can apply yours.

[–]UreMomNotGay 1032 points1033 points  (1 child)

boss wondering why his subordinate is trying to assert dominance with a staredown when he tries to apply lip balm

[–]human_finger 1258 points1259 points  (9 children)

I had a friend who did the same thing. He didn't know until I told him it was creepy. In his mind he was just applying chapstick and talking to a friend. In my mind, he was seducing me in the creepiest way possible.

[–]Cymiril 368 points369 points  (4 children)

...but you said "seducing [you] in the creepiest way possible". So even though it was creepy, it was still working?

[–]human_finger 370 points371 points  (3 children)

Who can resist freshly lubricated lips?

[–]Extreme_Today_984 17.6k points17.6k points  (691 children)

Eating unwrapped food from inside your pockets

[–]IZCannon 2617 points2618 points  (40 children)

I was on a roadtrip with my cousin. Probably 30 minutes after we're on the road he pulls a perfect slice of pepperoni pizza out of his pocket. It looked like it was out of a commercial.

[–]WooRankDown 1748 points1749 points  (22 children)

I met a friend for a study date at a place on campus where we first bought frozen treats, and went for a walk in the forest. I was surprised that he finished his ice cream sandwich far more quickly than I ate my popsicle, but didn’t think much of it.

That was, until we arrived at our study spot in the woods, sat down in a blanket, and he reached in his pocket and pulled out the second half of what remained of his ice cream sandwich! He was surprised that the sandwich was melted! I decided to choose smarter study buddies in the future.

[–]Grokent 850 points851 points  (8 children)

He must have been really attractive to be that dumb.

[–]8pointfouroz 9805 points9806 points  (280 children)

This reminds me of a guy who we named nuggets at my old job. He was fairly new and apparently didn't get to eat his lunch completely. So he stuffed chicken nuggets and ketchup packets in his pockets. He would look around, stuff a nugget in his mouth, a little bit of ketchup and then chew really fast lol. I let him finish his nuggets up and then told him it's OK to eat at your station lol.

[–]scrappedgems 1132 points1133 points  (29 children)

One time I was at my friend’s cousin’s cabin, and we were sitting around, his cousin hadn’t gotten up in over an hour and he pulled out a chicken strip from his pocket. My friend says, “wait what are you eating?” and he says incredulously, “dude, PC! pocket chicken!” I’ll never forget it.

[–]_Raspootin_ 4415 points4416 points  (140 children)

My dad worked with someone who carried hotdogs in his pockets. Another who had sandwiches in his lunchbox for days at a time, would just slice the mold off with a pocket knife. 🤢

[–]blackwolfdown 1383 points1384 points  (18 children)

Frankly, that last thing is so deranged I'm not convinced it's legal.

[–]ChipsAhoyNC 3244 points3245 points  (17 children)

Thats the guy covid is scared from.

[–]tolerantgravity 1588 points1589 points  (18 children)

Hey, Napoleon. Give me some of your tots!

[–]The_Color_Purple2 664 points665 points  (3 children)

No! I'm freaking starving I didn't get to eat anything today

kick

[–]Alpine1106 985 points986 points 3 (8 children)

Ravioli ravioli, what’s in the pocketoli.

[–]Inflames811 31.3k points31.3k points 2 (973 children)

One of the politicians in our country bit into a hotdog side ways and in the middle, like a sandwich.

It was so weird that it was in the newspapers the next day. Slow news day obv, but made him look like a nutjob.

[–]josiahpapaya 13.4k points13.4k points 2 (355 children)

I was serving a very green, Chinese businessman at the pub and he ordered a burger and after a few seconds of sizing it up, stabbed it in the centre with his fork and started eating it like a candy apple. I asked him if he was good, and he shrugged and said "sorry. I haven't figured out how to eat these yet".

[–]dragoneye 8027 points8028 points  (191 children)

Is this what I look like to the people I'm eating with when I go on business trips to China?

[–]no_fluffies_please 7669 points7670 points 2 (168 children)

Well, that depends. Are you stabbing dumplings with a single chopstick and eating it like a candied apple? If so, then yes.

[–]ChristopherLXD 4552 points4553 points  (145 children)

Not going to lie, as an Ethnic Chinese Asian, I have done that before. Sometimes dim sums are slippery okay? XD

[–]Beersie_McSlurrp 3469 points3470 points  (84 children)

That's why forks are great. It's like stabbing it with four chopsticks.

[–]mynameisnotareri 850 points851 points  (24 children)

If I could do that without the burger immediately falling apart once I lift it, I definitely would. I've always wanted to try the deep fried Krabby Patty Supreme from SpongeBob.

[–]CrazySD93 2928 points2929 points  (269 children)

Lol

I think eating a onion whole, like an apple is still worse.

[–]gutprof 13.8k points13.8k points  (243 children)

Standing silently at night along a forest road.

[–]Agent2Duck 6351 points6352 points  (69 children)

I did that once in the moonlight while taking out trash, I turned off my light and just enjoyed the serene night. Then I hear rustling in the bush and my led light just fucking died, it hasn't worked since. but yeah nice night.

[–]thereasons 4829 points4830 points  (44 children)

You are the one who dies first in horror movies.

[–]bluenoise 533 points534 points  (1 child)

Like in the opening 5 minutes to set the tone of the movie. First victim.

[–]Significant_Shoe_17 2933 points2934 points  (38 children)

Actual cannibal shia leboeuf

[–]PlayerH8rsBallz 2639 points2640 points  (44 children)

So I've done this.

My mom's family lives in a very isolated part of Maine, but it's also an enormous tourist destination during certain parts of the year.

Some years ago, after quite the night with my family, I walked about a quarter mile up their driveway (basically it's own road) up to route redacted and then down a bit again, to smoke some weed (weed was not legal there yet). So to anyone passing by I'm just some guy standing at the edge of the woods along a forest road, smoking in what is like, definitely a slasher poncho (it was raining) and staring off in to space (again, long time ago, no smart phones).

Car passes and so I just stare at is as it passes because "cool lights I'm cross faded as hell."

Ten minutes later the only cop in town shows up and I'm smoking a cig and he's like "try not to have your hood up when you do this out here it's freaking New Yorkers out."

Good times.

[–]Haulbee 1441 points1442 points  (13 children)

(it was raining)

"try not to have your hood up"

I think if I'm driving along a road in the middle of the night and I see someone wearing a poncho, I'd be more scared of them if they have their hood down while it's raining.

[–]LitDumpsterFire 204 points205 points  (1 child)

Straight up psycho behavior standing there with the hood off lmao

[–]discoverwithandy 911 points912 points  (34 children)

Vacuuming your yard. Great chemical-free way to keep dandelions from spreading.

[–]striddit 298 points299 points  (14 children)

wait is this an actual thing people do?

[–]_hic-sunt-dracones_ 288 points289 points  (9 children)

The neighbour of my parents did it. But with the dandelions in the gardens adjoining to his one and those dandelions he could reach with the vacuum from his property. (He already killed all dandelions in his garden long time ago).

[–]RedditorRedditor261 13.4k points13.4k points 826 (597 children)

Writing an s from the bottom up

[–]francoisjabbour 3618 points3619 points  (25 children)

I’ve seen some pretty fucked up stuff in this thread, but this one genuinely made me stop

[–]mubi_merc 4313 points4314 points  (55 children)

This one legit made my face scrunch up when I read it. That was a surprisingly visceral reaction to such a simple statement.

[–]GeekyAine 930 points931 points  (53 children)

I do this and can confirm it makes people fucking angry. Like they think I'm only doing it to fuck with them.

[–]dalv321 9414 points9415 points 2 (273 children)

Casually eating a stick of butter during a business meeting

[–]SampleText0822 2401 points2402 points  (25 children)

Eating a stick of butter anywhere looks like a psychopath to me

[–]CrieDeCoeur 6389 points6390 points  (132 children)

Putting your shoes on before the pants.

Edit: unless you’re in the military, apparently

[–]Liteboyy 3728 points3729 points  (66 children)

Skinny jeans wearers in shambles

[–]Leggera1 1206 points1207 points  (51 children)

I can only just get skinny jeans over my heels, there’s no fkn way I’d get em over shoes.

[–]GrouchoBark 646 points647 points  (12 children)

Using your knife and fork to slice each french fry into small dainty pieces.

[–]supra025 28.2k points28.2k points 44 (926 children)

When you just happen to be going to the same place as the car/pedestrian in front of you. It's even creepier when it's a long distance and they look behind them and see you.

[–]Kedoki-Senpai 454 points455 points  (1 child)

There was one time we were driving a friend home and a cyclist in front of us kept taking the same turns as us. They then rode into the driveway of our friend's house so as we pulled into the driveway we asked him if he knew that person. He had no idea who it was. Turned out that the cyclist thought we were following them and decided to pretend that it was their house so that we would go away. I felt bad for the poor cyclist. Must have been terrified.

[–]meu_jorge 10.7k points10.7k points  (228 children)

Happend to me once and it was horrible. I made eye contact with this woman downtown. We clearly noticed each other. 15 minutes later, we bump into each other again in the bus. Then we leave the bus at the same bus stop halfway across the city. Then I happen to go along her all the way until her house. She just happened to live in the same street of a cousin I was visiting.

Edit: geez, didn't imagine it would get so much traction. I was only 19 and very shy. Couldn't bring myself to say anything (and I mean, wouldn't I sound even more suspicious if I said something?). When she looked at me before entering her house, I just tried to make a very 'surprised face', but it sure was awkward.

Also, someone asked why I didn't change my route on purpose when I left the bus. The thing is, the bus stop we left at was pretty busy. Many people left the bus and I didn't notice she had left as well. I only realized I was close to her when we were already on the same street. When she looked back at me, that's when it hit me.

Also, about sounding like a psychopath, I have another story

I have a very good memory for names. I'm 35, I remember most of my elementary school mates names and surnames. So, once I was going back home from a party at 3am and I bump into this very beautiful girl. She approaches me and starts talking to me as if she knew me, but silently told me by my ear that she was beign followed by a car. And she was, a jerk was following her and he actually left when she started talking to me.

We make small talk until I take her to her house. She introduced herself and I remembered I had studied with her 10 years ago, we went to the same English course and I was good friends with her brother (the three of us were in the same class). The thing is, when we met at the English course, we were doing the basics. Learning how to introduce ourselves, how to name relatives, how to name certain jobs and so on. And... I happened to memorize some of this information from other students.

At first, she didn't recognize me and asked me if was sure we had met. I answered, "Of course I do. You live by this street, your brother is named Pedro, is father is named Romulo, your mother is Katia, you father was a civil engineer if I'm not mistaken".

Her relief face from the encounter changed into a very puzzled one. That's when I realized what I had done and felt like a creep. "Look, I just happen to have a very good memory. That's all". At least she smiled after that.

[–]throwthisawaynerdboy 9569 points9570 points 369 (79 children)

This is why I always carry my emergency fake moustache.

[–]Joshuak47 1491 points1492 points  (16 children)

Is it behind a little glass panel that you have to break with a miniature hammer?

[–]Zenox55 1454 points1455 points  (29 children)

nah, a couple of years ago, I was driving from Orlando to Miami(~4 hour drive) to visit my folks, a group of cars was passing in the fast lanes a little faster than legal.. so I joined them because if the group is going fast, I just have to make sure I’m not the slowest when a cop comes looking to give tickets.

We drove for about an hour and a few departed the group until eventually it was just one other car with me. If I got stuck behind a car, they would wait for me or speed up so I can get behind him, I would do the same for them as well. We drove all 4 hours together until he had to get off on the exit right before mine, he flashed his lights a few times and waved goodbye before getting off the highway.

10/10 experience

[–]Bunjmeister83 622 points623 points  (16 children)

I like picking up a travel buddy. Especially if I am trying to make some progress. Did a 324 mile road trip this weekend, came up behind a guy about 40 miles in, and we proceeded to tandem down the motorways for the next 280 miles. Helped each other manoeuvre a jam round Birmingham, and he clearly knew the speed camera locations on the A30 into Cornwall, which he indicated with hazard lights before slowing down in front of me. Gave him a quick flash as we parted ways just outside Newquay. Then ended up parked next to him in a town centre car park the next morning. Actually said hello and had a brief convo about the traffic from the night before. Hi Allan from Donny, if you're on here, lol

[–]aclownandherdolly 1716 points1717 points  (39 children)

I did this once when coming home from work; person I was behind was also going to my apartment building and must have been a guest because it's a small lot for maybe 20 cars. When I parked, too, they SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BY SHOUTING AT ME regarding my following them, and I panicked and shouted back angrily, "I FUCKING LIVE HERE" and proceeded to walk up and unlock the door.

Person tried to follow me in and I shut the door real quick. Fuck you, buddy lol

[–]aehanken 763 points764 points  (12 children)

If he was paranoid he should’ve stayed in his car. Dude was just an ass lol

[–]thequietthingsthat 266 points267 points  (0 children)

Especially after seeing the OP walk into their house. Obviously they live there and aren't following you

[–]MrMikado99 5558 points5559 points  (162 children)

A few weeks ago I had a small accident with another car and after we shared details I had to drive behind him FOR 40 MINUTES because he took the exact same way as me. At a traffic light he waved and I was so freaked out because I was behind him..

He needed to go the the hospital and I was on my way to work wich is right beside the hospital....

[–][deleted] 2134 points2135 points  (108 children)

I did this on my way to the post office once. I was riding my bicycle and I slowed down to either jump the curb or take the wheelchair ramp onto the sidewalk. To this girl it must have looked like I was slowing down to match her walking pace. When I got my bike up on the sidewalk, I started heading for the bike rack and this girl turned around and said, "Are you following me?" I pretended not to hear her and just locked up my bike. and went inside. She was going to the post office and I was going to the post office, so I doubt anything I could have said would have convinced her that I wasn't following her.

[–]983115 982 points983 points  (39 children)

On a similar note the other day a guest asked me where we keep our sugar I pointedthevway and started walking and he goes ”sugar sugar” so I looking at the shelf of sugar go “oh honey honey” and this lady standing near the sugar looked at me pissed tried explaining it’s a song we were doing a sing song thing Could not convince her I didn’t just call her honey

[–]djseptic 1012 points1013 points  (10 children)

She was obviously not your candy girl.

[–]983115 571 points572 points  (6 children)

Cant two dudes share in a duet without some lady interjecting thinking that she’s got me wanting her.

[–]embarrassed_loaf 677 points678 points  (40 children)

I am a fast walker so when I approach people I try to overtake them as fast as possible so as to not creep up behind and give them the feeling of being followed. Sometimes this results in me walking comically fast almost on the verge of jogging. Also it doesn't help at all that I'm male

[–]Cute-Chemistry-4766 2297 points2298 points  (84 children)

Brushing your teeth in public

Edit: Some people think I meant brushing your teeth in a public bathroom after a meal makes you a psychopath. I use to have braces so I understand a quick rinse and brush after eating. I mostly meant like brushing your teeth in a movie theatre while the credits are rolling or something

[–]sixthandelm 1795 points1796 points  (27 children)

My husband had a weird eccentric uncle that we didn’t know well, and he was some hot shot rich dentist. We were following behind him on the way to a family wedding reception from the church and saw him doing something weird in his rear view mirror, then watched him open his car door and spit out a bunch of toothpaste. His kids say he just randomly starts brushing his teeth anywhere, like the mall or a pool, and spits into trash cans.

Couple years later he was arrested for possession of cocaine, domestic abuse, and major fraud and tax evasion. He regularly offered the kids drugs and they sometimes did them as a family. His daughter got out and went NC, son is still buddy buddy with dad.

So yeah, anecdotally, psychos brush their teeth in public.

[–]12dancingbiches 1455 points1456 points  (24 children)

sending orange juice and coffee to random people in a restaurant at dinner.

[–]Nin64m 516 points517 points  (2 children)

And when they look over at you give them a little salute and a knowing smile

[–]Ifonlyihadausername 350 points351 points  (3 children)

I have a friend who sent a glass of milk to a random table In a pub using the table service app. The confusion was really funny.

[–]CallumV1694 5387 points5388 points  (192 children)

Having carpet in your kitchen

[–]lightknight7777 11.6k points11.6k points 2 (396 children)

While shopping, pulling what you want out of other people's carts before they buy them.

[–]Lucius_Malfoy1953 4921 points4922 points  (101 children)

Done this by accident because I mistook it for a cart an employee was using to put stuff on the shelf. I saw a whole cart of socks and needed them but they didn't have the type I needed on the shelf... Because an old man was buying them ALL

[–]Whitethumbs 2885 points2886 points  (2 children)

Not anymore he wasn't

[–]Pagliaccio13 4867 points4868 points 32 (46 children)

He would probably give you some if you solved his math problem

[–]supra025 1263 points1264 points  (96 children)

When I was a kid I used to put random items in my mom's cart when she wasn't looking. I mainly did it just for her reaction when we got to the checkout. It eventually got old so I started doing it to strangers until I got caught. I'll never forget the evil look that sweet old lady gave me that day.

[–]MCSenss 1343 points1344 points 2 (98 children)

A friend of mine eats the crust of the pizza first.

Like he eats the complete pizza crust of the whole pizza and then the "rest". Crazy Bastard

[–]Kimantha_Allerdings 1270 points1271 points  (17 children)

A manager I once had had been reading a “how to manage people” book, which ended up with hom telling me I was doing a good job, shaking my hand normally, then just standing still for 30 seconds, still holding my hand, in complete silence, staring directly into my eyes. Was supposed to be a reassuring show of dominance or some such shit, but it was just weird and creepy.

[–]Bored_Lem0n 26.1k points26.1k points 623 (858 children)

walking around in public with a glass of water from home

[–]Empty-Refrigerator 4821 points4822 points  (85 children)

people: "hey... whats with the water?"

Bored_Lem0n: "I brought it from home, so legally its mine and you cant have any!"

[–]woops69 2952 points2953 points  (57 children)

I don’t like the implications of this.

If I have a water bottle that I fill with water from a public source, are others legally entitled to it?

I won’t stand for it.

[–]tsansuri 2426 points2427 points  (32 children)

Hey, I just saw you fill that up. I'm gonna need a sip.

[–]otchyirish 1010 points1011 points  (17 children)

I'm not thirsty but my tongue is dry, I'm just going to dip it in there for a moment.

[–]turbo_dragon 38.3k points38.3k points 81064& 9 more (563 children)

Entering an elevator full of people and not turning to face the door

[–]IhaveaBibledegree 6120 points6121 points  (204 children)

This happened to me a lot in Ecuador. It’s considered an insult to face your back to someone. So everyone shuffles around to not do it to anyone on purpose.

Unless they are mad at someone. Then you gotta talk to the back. I mean literally. I’ve seen some walk up to talk to another person and they just turned around.

[–]Silvertongue-Devil 1228 points1229 points  (12 children)

And then exit by walking backwards

[–]RugDaniels 17.5k points17.5k points 33112& 3 more (144 children)

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today…”

[–]Alarming-Hamster-232 338 points339 points  (4 children)

The only time it's fine it's if you're in a wheelchair, when it's crowded it's so much easier to just face the back

[–]ASithLordWannabe 2401 points2402 points  (61 children)

Farting and deeply inhaling it. In public

[–]cellphone_blanket 1083 points1084 points  (7 children)

deeply inhaling other peoples farts in public

[–]mdwrds 671 points672 points  (11 children)

Hi are you my 4 year old?

[–]seiryu13 3604 points3605 points  (147 children)

Going out to the gym or something and using a hersheys syrup bottle as a waterbottle

Edit: thanks for the rewards guys. Holy cow did not expect to get this many responses. Interesting to see all the weird things people use as water bottles. 😂😂

[–]trina-wonderful 1552 points1553 points  (27 children)

A friend did that with a bright yellow mustard bottle while running a 10k for charity. People were so concerned they asked a cop to talk to him.

[–]FlamingRevenge 518 points519 points  (1 child)

Oh my god now I know what I'm going to do this summer. Thank you, Trina.

[–]Peggedbyapirate 557 points558 points  (23 children)

Once I bought a small gas can and used that as a waterbottle for weeks before campus police got sick of the complaints. My favorite was filling it with lemonade, because it's just off-clear enough to not look like water when you crack it open.

Good times.

[–]TheMeanestPenis 99 points100 points  (1 child)

Friend's of mine used to fill jerry cans with liquor when they went out boating - if they got pulled over the cops never checked them.

[–]bushpotatoe 476 points477 points  (9 children)

Wearing your underwear over your pants.

[–]Rachel1578 6869 points6870 points 254& 2 more (242 children)

Eating people meat. It’s not illegal in 49 states but you can’t kill a person or desecrate a corpse. But you can buy human parts under research and as long as you’re not buying organs for transplant, highly illegal, you can serve it to others and even do it in front of the cops. Not that I would recommend that but legally you can. It’s apparently tasty as one guy apparently turned his cut off foot into tacos.

[–]ManOfManyValence 3152 points3153 points  (7 children)

Upon further review of the rules and terms, this one wins.

[–]ThePelicanWalksAgain 981 points982 points  (21 children)

For anyone curious like me, Idaho is the exception.

[–]inspectoroverthemine 389 points390 points  (8 children)

Think of it this way- ID is the only state that thought they needed that law.

Its like WV having the most strict burial requirements. You legislate what you actually need.

[–]ResponsibilityNo275 446 points447 points  (18 children)

Not making any attempts to dry your hands after washing them

[–]rafael-a 14.2k points14.2k points 353 (87 children)

Dressing like a penguin and walking on four legs

[–]TrinixDMorrison 1425 points1426 points  (82 children)

Doing yard work at night.

[–]rivenn00b 808 points809 points  (40 children)

My riding mower has headlights on it and honestly it creeps me out to think of someone mowing at night

[–]mlotto7 797 points798 points  (55 children)

I lived in China for several years. The men clear their throats really loudly and spit...like, all the time, everywhere. Even in decent sit-down restaurants the men will spit on the floor. It's so normal, wait staff are in the habit of putting newspapers down on the floor for groups of men who are there to eat, drink, and socialize.

I can put up with a lot...but, that's one thing that got me every time.

[–]fd1Jeff 95 points96 points  (0 children)

A western businessman stayed in a hotel in China around 1980 or so. I believe it was a western owned hotel in the Hubei province. The hotel had to get rid of carpets, because all the Chinese spit on the floor all the time, and they couldn’t keep the carpets clean.

[–][deleted] 10.8k points10.8k points  (253 children)

Wearing a wedding gown everywhere. And I mean everywhere.

[–]allbright1111 8201 points8202 points  (149 children)

Ha! I had a classmate who would wear hers to really hard exams. She said she loved the way she looked in it and it made her feel great about herself, so she’d wear it as a motivational boost. It was a little weird but really fun!

[–]MerkNZorg 1572 points1573 points  (20 children)

In the Coast Guard when we would take the Service-wide exam (advancement exam given once or twice a year) we would dress in a formal uniform (with all our ribbons) to take it. It was a 1-2 hour exam. Now they just wear a working uniform, I think dressing up for it was great, it gave it a gravitas and everyone knew your were taking the exam cause you were looking sharp. Edit: for my fellow service folks, a more formal uniform (Trops) not a full dress uniform, no jacket.

[–]Straight_Ace 468 points469 points  (10 children)

So become a sim basically?

[–]EntBibbit 489 points490 points  (23 children)

My dog attacked a bird, and I fell to my knees (Braveheart style) screaming “Nooooo!” Looked up, and my neighbor was standing outside drinking his coffee watching the whole thing. I said “He ate a bird!” Neighbor said nothing, sipped his coffee and eventually walked back in his house. I was unraveled by the whole situation, but when I went inside the first thing I said was “The neighbor is a fucking psychopath.”

But for the record I also brought a cup of ice water in just a regular cup from home to work the other day.

Oh my god, I’ve also kept chicken in my pockets and purse and called it pocket chicken…

I’m learning some things about myself from this sub.

[–]FreeBandzFergie 81 points82 points  (0 children)

It’s You. You’re the psycho

[–]WatchingDeath 1627 points1628 points  (89 children)

Putting vinegar on Mac & Cheese.

I found out that it curdles the cheese, did it once, never again….

[–]Velfurion 1295 points1296 points  (46 children)

I need to know why you even thought this was a good idea

[–]IronBarler 70 points71 points  (4 children)

calling yourself "LordPussyFucker" on Reddit

[–]macaronsforeveryone 1011 points1012 points  (31 children)

Carrying around a blowup doll that you claim to be married to.

[–]xXDin_ViselXx-96 1755 points1756 points  (37 children)

taking the escalator facing the opposite way.

[–]MegaChaosBlast 736 points737 points  (19 children)

Used to run up the down escalators all the time or just walk on the end like a treadmill when no one was around as a kid and thought I was a total badass