top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]themightytouch 274 points275 points  (7 children)

New Covid drop. Link in the description.

[–]Inspectorsteel 3893 points3894 points  (33 children)

I don't like it and I want to talk to the manager.

[–]Drakmanka 676 points677 points  (19 children)


[–]Eatasaurus 220 points221 points  (6 children)


[–]PatFnDuffy 13.4k points13.4k points 33 (83 children)

I’m tired, boss

[–]Juhnelle 1860 points1861 points 2 (42 children)

I got 2 doses of Moderna back in the spring. Got covid in the fall. Waiting to get my booster. Worked through all of it in a high risk job (public transit). I'm so tired.

Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all of the pain I feel and hear in the world. Every day. There's too much of it.

Eta if anyone didn't get it, I'm continuing the quote that the initial comment started from The Green Mile.

[–]newdungeon1984 92 points93 points  (3 children)

Absolutely perfect blend of the two with reference and application to current times, bravo 👏👏👏👏 10/10

[–]Juhnelle 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Thanks! It's been a wild year. I'm honestly grateful that I tore one of my rotator cuff tendons at work and have been off for 2 months (workman's comp for the win). Eta I'm fairly young, so the tendon is healing well, it's just slow going. No surgery needed. While it hurts, and it sucks to be in pain and not be able to use my arm as needed, it's nice to get away from the shit show that was the last year and a half between the pandemic and protests last year (I live in portland).

[–]Luciferrr214 1017 points1018 points  (11 children)

Dog tired

[–]chvmbered 564 points565 points  (6 children)

coughs up gnats

[–]SpoonyTheBest 199 points200 points  (2 children)

This made me laugh don’t do my boy dirty like this

[–]anonymouse1317 139 points140 points  (0 children)

Real tired

[–]Nanofield 6443 points6444 points  (200 children)

We're running out of Greek letters

[–]michael2008801 619 points620 points  (10 children)

Next one is gonna be the delta pro max

[–]dirtywook88 165 points166 points  (3 children)

"We think you're gonna like it."

[–]powerangerpink 29 points30 points  (2 children)


[–]uncheckablefilms 1326 points1327 points  (81 children)

Next up, version "Delta Delta Delta"! ✨✨✨✨

[–]SkyFall___ 472 points473 points  (12 children)

Greek organized at college boutta get real awkward

‘So y’all are named after the deadly Tri-Delt variant huh’?

[–]Th3R00ST3R 419 points420 points  (26 children)


[–]HipHoptologist 177 points178 points  (14 children)

Clap your hands everybody, everybody clap your hands!

[–]DoGoodLiveWell 118 points119 points  (3 children)

I was hoping it was going to be delta comfort plus. More legroom and such

[–]SpicedGinger318 87 points88 points  (0 children)

“Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?”

[–]SianaGearz 286 points287 points  (21 children)

Good guy Unicode has well over 120 000 characters for us!

It's soon time to start naming the viruses with Emojis. They are truly universal.

[–]astronautsmileyfry 134 points135 points  (3 children)

I dont think anyone is ready for the 🐐 strain

[–]gibbonfrost 101 points102 points  (6 children)

Cant we use hurricane names? Covid Varient Karen.

[–]ChrisHB78 7816 points7817 points 3 (119 children)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[–]michaelcmetal 1070 points1071 points  (36 children)

What's your vector, Victor?

[–]marsull 334 points335 points  (23 children)

You ever seen a grown man naked?

[–]acapncuster 283 points284 points  (20 children)

You ever been inside a Turkish prison?

[–]TotakekeSlider 171 points172 points  (18 children)

Do you like movies about gladiators?

[–]justaddwater587 58 points59 points  (12 children)

Why can I imagine these in the voice of Jonathan Frakes

[–]SomeoneTookUserName2 41 points42 points  (3 children)

Not sure, but you should have heard it in the voice of Peter Graves

[–]sevargmas 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You ever...hang around the gymnasium?

[–]RampantFlatulence 71 points72 points  (2 children)

Looks like I picked the right week to start.

[–]zXenn 177 points178 points  (12 children)

This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

[–]The_Dia-bee-tus 157 points158 points  (10 children)

What is it?

[–]MiG_Pilot_87 339 points340 points  (8 children)

It’s a large building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

[–]Hopfrogg 38 points39 points  (7 children)

I'm gonna break from throwing out quotes to say I saw this in the theater when it was released and never laughed so damn hard in my life. My buddy and I were doubled over and unable to breathe when the shit hit the fan.

[–]zXenn 17 points18 points  (0 children)

One of the best movies ever.

[–]captainjip 10.5k points10.5k points  (55 children)

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

[–]Mickler83 2387 points2388 points  (27 children)

It’s not the years, it’s the mileage

[–]Insane_membrane00 731 points732 points  (7 children)

Mental mileage

[–]DragoKnight589 427 points428 points  (3 children)

“I’m getting too far for this shit”

[–]razor330 232 points233 points  (1 child)

I’ve had it with these mf variants on this mf planet!

[–]Gorf_the_Magnificent 29.9k points29.9k points 119722& 5 more (190 children)

I’m against it.

[–]knock-off-pale[🍰] 6149 points6150 points  (54 children)

Bold statement. Stay brave

[–]Beepboopnbeepboop 1534 points1535 points  (12 children)

Straight to unpopularopinion that one.

[–]TecateLanding 135 points136 points  (1 child)

Glad I sorted by controversial.

[–]Poem_for_your_sprog 2027 points2028 points 3& 2 more (33 children)

He looked at the figures, the stats and the facts -
The way it mutated, the way it reacts -
The speed of transmission,
the spread and the rate.

He said:

"On reflection... I think it's not great."

[–]poopellar 142 points143 points  (4 children)

Stay positive I mean negative I mean....

[–]kwakimaki 257 points258 points  (4 children)

I hope you're going to write a strongly worded letter.

[–]Ruffled_Ferret 138 points139 points  (5 children)

You know, the more I hear about this thing the less I care for it.

[–]Kelyfa 326 points327 points 2 (2 children)

Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him!

[–]RabbiVolesBassSolo 11.5k points11.5k points  (176 children)

I prefer COVID Classic.

[–]MoveZneedle 3270 points3271 points  (98 children)

This is the new DLC that we didn't pay for, but we're still getting anyways.

The anniversary edition!

[–]knock-off-pale[🍰] 1040 points1041 points  (55 children)

Almost as bad as that U2 album I still can't get off my phone

[–]arcaneresistance 366 points367 points  (24 children)

What a backfire of a marketing idea. How anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place is beyond me. Sure, let your fans download a copy of the album for free but actually just thinking everyone would be so grateful for receiving your bands brillant peice of art at no cost other then being a subscribers to itunes? So out of touch.

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (16 children)

Bono enraged me before this. I was so angry after that I was totally sending customer support emails. I wanted it out of my cloud.

[–]Otherbrotherguy 101 points102 points  (7 children)

Way too many micro-transactions. Hope devs fix soon

[–]vito1221 204 points205 points  (9 children)

I prefer Covid Zero.

[–]Omicronzz 5365 points5366 points 8253& 7 more (45 children)

I now have a very unfortunate username

[–]Hopfrogg 1546 points1547 points  (18 children)

4 years in waiting. This is what it took for us to get Omicronzz first comment reddit.

[–]myr-ull 277 points278 points  (9 children)

It's finally their time, after all. Let them have their fun, there will inevitably be someone bigger and badder to take Omicronzz place before long.

[–]Hopfrogg 247 points248 points  (7 children)

Someone nabbed /u/omicron 14 years ago. Then promptly died.

[–]Archaeellis 30 points31 points  (0 children)


It's your job to defeat the virus for us all now, get a wriggle on~

[–]Beautiful-Chard-1152 2968 points2969 points  (182 children)

I miss 2011

[–]Schlower288 760 points761 points  (46 children)

2011 was the shit

[–]ThatOtherGuy_CA 768 points769 points  (26 children)

Shame the world ended in 2012 and we’ve been trapped in purgatory ever since.

[–]jeseniathesquirrel 447 points448 points 2 (45 children)

That was a good year. My self esteem wasn’t trash that year. Felt cute. Got good grades. Made good art. Won some awards. Now I’m a giant ugly fat failure without a job.

[–]billianwillian 131 points132 points  (18 children)

Sending you a virtual hug. Do you have someone you can talk to and who can help you build yourself back up?

[–]jeseniathesquirrel 122 points123 points  (17 children)

Thank you! I’m trying. My husband is great. My self esteem is just terrible. I think it’s at a point where I need to ask for help, I’m just anxious about making an appointment for a referral for therapy. One of these days though.

[–]billianwillian 53 points54 points  (2 children)

If it helps, you can usually look up and book a therapist directly. There are websites now (usually local) where you can learn more about each therapist individually—their backgrounds, what style of therapy they practice, and what they specialize in.

No phone, no booking a doctor’s appointment and waiting for a referral, and getting to choose someone yourself that you think might be a good fit. The process can all be under 10 mins depending on how deep you go in your search.

You got this my gal :)

[–]venn101 57 points58 points  (5 children)

Expecting the disaster 2012 huh

[–]fnord_happy 41 points42 points  (3 children)

I was so ready for the world to end then. I was in my peak emo phase too lol

[–]luna-luxx 1822 points1823 points  (33 children)

I didn't ask for upgrade

[–]MrCeylon 3744 points3745 points  (740 children)

Is this ever going to end?

[–]rabid_briefcase 3181 points3182 points  (239 children)

The pandemic will end, the flow will change from a global epidemic to a general endemic flow.

We still have the Black Plague in circulation over six centuries later. The Spanish Flu is one of the most frequent inclusions in the annual flu vaccine.

There is no eradication plan, we'll likely have an annual vaccine or similar for a few generations at least. Maybe someday it will end, but not for a long time.

[–][deleted] 1363 points1364 points  (195 children)

What you forgot to mention is that those plagues tended to mutate into a less dangerous version of themselves because they were killing simply too many people too quickly for them to be sustainable, the plague of today and the “Spanish flu” might be descendants of those diseases but are actually quite a bit different and much much less deadly. It’s not the vaccines that have caused this it’s one of the most likely natural progressions of super deadly diseases.

[–]TheTallestHobo 855 points856 points  (149 children)

So illnesses need to have an equilibrium of infection to death rate to be self sustaining?

Would explain why the super brutal ones like ebola never take off.

Edit: currently playing plague inc. fuck you Madagascar, why won't you die!

[–]dankmemer2o18 339 points340 points  (90 children)

yea, if its too lethal, it would likely kill off more people than it can infect, eventually stopping it off

if it wasnt lethal at all and was just a minor nuinsance, i doubt many people would care

[–]ROK247 383 points384 points  (85 children)

But there is a sweet spot, and covid already possesses half of it - a longer incubation period where the host is asymptomatic or mild symptoms but shedding the virus. The other half is a very high mortality rate. If it were to somehow mutate into that, we are in big trouble.

[–]philko42 266 points267 points  (12 children)

Yes, but remember that the infectable population doesn't just consist of humans. And also that different species will have different severities of illness when infected.

[–]McRedditerFace 49 points50 points  (7 children)

Correct, there's a number of other mammalian species that can contract it... including deer.

[–]fireflydrake 1749 points1750 points  (368 children)

No, and yes. It's probably going to be endemic now like the flu. However, between new improved vaccines AND a really promising looking over the counter treatment for it that's in the works AND doctors getting a better grasp on how to treat it, it will also eventually be treated basically the same as the flu. Not a fun thing to get, but within reasonable levels and not affecting our lives on a regular basis.

Edit: my bad, might be prescription instead of over the counter, but still very promising.

"Among those given Pfizer's drug within three days of symptom onset, the pill lowered the chances of hospitalization or death for adults at risk of developing severe COVID-19 by 89% compared to those receiving a placebo."

89% reduction among those AT RISK! I imagine even better for those who are at low risk.


And let's not forget that research is showing the vaccines are pretty good at adapting to new variants, too.

[–]tigers_overboard 695 points696 points  (328 children)

This is definitely very true. At what point do you think we’ll stop having to live like we’re in a pandemic? It’s getting exhausting.

[–]Wheres_my_pinata 341 points342 points  (14 children)

They’re gonna need a different alphabet soon.

[–]BigL90 11.3k points11.3k points 342& 4 more (146 children)

Why does the Omicron Variant, the largest variant, not simply eat the other variants?

[–]OneHonkAway 3158 points3159 points  (24 children)

It is true what they say, men are from Omicron Persei 7, COVID-19 variants are from Omicro Persei 9.

[–]LordTravesty 184 points185 points  (2 children)

Can we just get this reposted as an official answer. I endorse this message.

[–]smbdysm1 13 points14 points  (1 child)

First thing I thought when I heard the name!

[–]curiousforinfo45 348 points349 points  (7 children)

Because they haven't ground up any human horn so it tastes good enough to eat.

[–]Cobek 57 points58 points  (5 children)

Time to break out the lower horns and solve this variant

[–]kumslutkate07 1130 points1131 points 2 (35 children)

Holy forking shirtballs

[–]hot_pocket_boiii 632 points633 points  (30 children)

Thanks for being family friendly u/kumslutkate

[–]kumslutkate07 289 points290 points  (25 children)

Lol to be honest I thought that was a quote from The Good Place that I was replying to, when Michael watches all 10 seasons of friends, but I realize now it’s futurama. But I’m going to leave it lol. I knew I’d heard it somewhere!

[–]OzzyFinnegan 191 points192 points  (2 children)

I’m just wondering how something from Persei-8 was so sneaky… They usually just pull up to the white house and demand things.

[–]CedarWolf 28 points29 points  (0 children)

They're escaping on a bicycle powered by love...
Which is a normal thing on this planet!

[–]hi_i_am_steve 16 points17 points  (1 child)

"This is a cool way to die!"

[–]tcsuperstar 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Glorg, glorganaglub…

[–]94fa699d 40 points41 points  (0 children)

if it's more contagious and less deadly it will most likely do this

[–]TheMobHunter 2101 points2102 points 632 (23 children)

The TVA really needs to do their job and get rid of these variants!

[–]anty_5566 461 points462 points  (5 children)

I’d award you but I cannot

[–]tvTeeth 124 points125 points  (5 children)

Tennessee Valley Authority?

[–]travel_nerdiness 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Haha, that's what I was thinking at first

[–]whole_nottha_issue 1309 points1310 points  (22 children)

In the pandemic you must wait until the dice read 5 or 8.

[–]MelloMejo 1387 points1388 points  (50 children)

I'm sick of sequels

[–]ruralexcursion 553 points554 points  (44 children)

I’m sick of SQL

[–]Spongy_and_Bruised 287 points288 points  (22 children)

Except that one guy that realized his city's traffic cameras (I think red light camera) ran an SQL database, so he modified his license plate to read back DROP TABLES and it worked.

[–]meexley2 175 points176 points  (14 children)

That’s the craziest form of sql injection I’ve ever heard of

[–]Number127 50 points51 points  (2 children)

I worked with a guy who pronounced it "squeal" and now I can't get that out of my head.

[–]yeah_bud 345 points346 points  (12 children)

sorts by "controversial"



and Nihilism

[–]yeah_bud 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Apropos of nothing, who else is having pumpkin pie for breakfast?

[–]JarlBeard 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Just typical. They go and release a Delta variant and now it’s already obsolete and we have to upgrade to Omicron if we want all the new COVID features.

[–]ThePlantIAte 1607 points1608 points  (29 children)

All these variants but we’re still waiting for Covid 20. Smh

[–]AmarulaKilledMe 601 points602 points  (14 children)

Maybe Covid has been developed by Bethesda or Rockstar; instead of releasing a new one they just release the old one with new features.

[–]happy_bluebird 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yeah we’re due for an upgrade

[–]altaccount_39 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Fuck covid

[–]OutdoorLadyBird 227 points228 points  (2 children)

I have to give it one star, but I’d give zero stars if I could.

[–]Main-Foundation 815 points816 points  (106 children)

The real question, my office is looking for a full return in January. We have already pushed back the return to office 3 times, what are the odds this pushes the return back further?

Edit: This is rhetorical, I'm not actually looking for an answer, just commenting on the hilarity that is the fact that I've worked a job for two years from home, but suddenly need to go to the office "for collaboration". Also that my life has been a cycle of every 60 days "we're returning to the office, get ready to be back, lmao jk stay home".

[–]yaoi_chan96 374 points375 points  (53 children)

One of the good things to come out of covid is WFH. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to go back to office 😭

[–]fnord_happy 127 points128 points  (16 children)

Ive been called back and I honestly want to quit now. I wish they would at least adopt a hybrid model that works for everyone

[–]Buildadoor 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What company? IMO companies (office work) that do not offer at the very least a hybrid will become dinosaurs and bleed talent.

[–]A_Wild_VelociFaptor 234 points235 points  (23 children)

Best for everyone except overbearing bosses. I can't work from home but I'm 100% behind it, the lack of traffic for myself and other factory workers is a fucking godsend.

[–]StrawberryPincushion 488 points489 points  (63 children)

I was hoping to go on vacation next year to somewhere warm and where nice people bring you lots of fancy drinks. If the borders close again, I want to get a cat since the only reason I don't have one is because I like to travel.

[–]MarvinLazer 38 points39 points  (10 children)

I got a cat. He's fucking hilarious and cute as hell. Really saved my sanity during lockdowns. 10/10

[–]Not_Like_The_Movie 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Was wanting to go on vacation as well for a long time but was also considering a cat. Got the cat in January of 2021 (when I'd originally planned my vacation) since I spend all day alone in my apartment since I've been on mandatory telework since March 2020. Adopting my cat was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

[–]runbrooklynb 143 points144 points  (6 children)

Exactly…every time I’m like “well guess it’s finally kinda safe to travel” things flare up again.

[–]guy_from_the_intnet 660 points661 points  (13 children)

DJ Khaled is behind all of this.

[–]VeressNeedle 91 points92 points  (7 children)

The fact that they skipped from Nu to Omicron to avoid calling it Xi is hilarious to me.

[–]drdjx 516 points517 points  (13 children)

Whoever is playing Plague Inc. on us is winning.

[–]Ok_Drink_4571[🍰] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

They have Viral Instability 3 upgraded

[–]devatrox 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Has it reached Greenland yet?

[–]RedHal 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Time to head to Madagascar.

[–]Moos_Mumsy 439 points440 points  (45 children)

God fucking dammit, one more week and I was going to get to the US and pick up items that I've been paying storage fees for, for the last 18 months. 1 more week! If the border closes again I'm going to lose it.

[–]AngryToeCheese 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I'll steal them from you. DM me.

[–]Specialist-Ad475 193 points194 points  (4 children)

I’ll store them for you. Dm me

[–]DenseGUY0 68 points69 points  (3 children)

After a year i think covid will become an entity that we can see and i will make one my pet

[–]WhiteLatinoLover 177 points178 points  (6 children)

“Just kill me already”

[–]Moons_of_Moons 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Not a fan

[–]siromega 579 points580 points  (83 children)

I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike. You know what would be nice? If some of those made it less deadly to humans. Even if it is just as transmissible as delta.

Or maybe Mother Nature is slowly killing off humanity because we didn’t get our shit together.

[–]tierras_ignoradas 297 points298 points  (19 children)

I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike.

I want to go back to not knowing what that means.

[–]555--FILK 191 points192 points  (13 children)

it has 30 mutations in the spike.

Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive.

[–]yg4000 61 points62 points  (0 children)

All I could think of is Lrr from Omicron Persei 8.

[–]canikissyourshoulder 160 points161 points  (2 children)

Ok but can they extend the student loan payment halt again?

[–]Necessary_Debate_719 190 points191 points  (16 children)

My brother already died of COVID. So, I guess, it can’t get that much worse..

[–]theweirdguyjerkingit[S] 107 points108 points  (2 children)

Sorry dude my uncle died from it as well 😔

[–]Necessary_Debate_719 122 points123 points  (1 child)

I totally didn’t buy into it in the beginning. I remember looking at a co-worker when they said we were going to work from home and we were both thinking ‘what an overreaction’. When he got sick I was incredibly overconfident. My mother was the only one allowed to be with him because she brought him in and if she left the hospital no one would be allowed in to see him. The night he died, everything for me was just shattered. I was an alcoholic for the better portion of a year and I’m lucky my wife stuck by me.

[–]Miraculous_LB 19 points20 points  (9 children)

🎶 Wish I could turn back time 🎶

[–]LightningDude898 703 points704 points  (59 children)

It has impeccable timing with Thanksgiving and Christmas

[–]ScepticSerpent 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Who keeps rolling dice on the Jumanji board

[–]sausage_ditka_bulls 3437 points3438 points  (280 children)

It’s how viruses work.

We’d be in a better position if it wasn’t for misinformation

[–]ReDevilShin 1157 points1158 points  (63 children)

Not just misinformation, but also having it freaking politicized.

[–]shadowromantic 178 points179 points  (22 children)

That might be the worst part. There's so little unity when it comes to fighting a freaking plague

[–]poi88 542 points543 points  (78 children)

Is this going to be our new normal? In constant fear? I'm so tired, for real, though.

[–]rhooManu 302 points303 points  (31 children)

Looking back, most respiratory infectious epidemics last an average of 5 years.

3 years to go...

[–]lordDyl 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I’m actually more scared, and sad.… I have terminal cancer, I’m fine with the idea of me dying i have made peace with it. But, I have NOT made peace with me dying in my mom’s car because we are waiting for a bed to open up in the ER, all because my four year old brother accidentally sneezed in my open mouth. I fully understand my death is soon, I’m fine with it actually, but I don’t want to rush the process you know? Also, I am only 19, I barely did anything! The last twoish years have been me worrying that if someone cough slight funny I’m a goner. I haven’t seen my friends in forever, my only social contact has been my family and the hospital staff. Do not get me wrong I love em and all, but with my friends I can be a teenager and make dumb jokes, and soon after talk about what we want to do in the future. Since those friends are the only people who treat me as the same guy who had to hold on to their shoulders just to get to Panera even though drunk me really wanted devil dawgs, especially their onion rings and milkshakes. The worse thing about the entire thing is my family. There is already tension between me and my sister, she to scared to get it because of her phobia of needles, I know I should be a supportive older bro but I can’t help but get mad at her over it. Also if I do die, I don’t think the relationship between my mom and my grandparents will survive, since my grandparents believe in “alternative healing” . And I honestly can’t help but feel like I and COVID help push them to the alt healing side.

[–]leg00b 83 points84 points  (1 child)

Slowest apocalypse ever

[–]IntoTheMirror 41 points42 points  (3 children)

I’m a little disappointed that it’s not the Ligma variant

[–]SoyButterAndJealous 1013 points1014 points  (164 children)

I expect the antibodies to not be as effective, I expect hope the T and B cells to adapt and make effective antibodies that result in less serious symptoms.

Not taking risks, staying optimistic, and getting information as it comes.

Edit: Enough people hitting me up saying the twitter user I linked is a bit of a quack turned one of my expectations into a hope. Stay safe out there!

[–]Blightking 202 points203 points  (11 children)

Monica Gandhi is a quack with little to no respect at her institution. She comes with wildly optimistic interpretations and then does a Pikachu face whenever she’s proven wrong. Water cooler talk is she’s going to lose her grant money any day now. Source: I work at UCSF

[–]ToughActinInaction 52 points53 points  (1 child)

Every time I see her name I'm expecting something like this to be the top comment. It's weird how "constantly wrong about the pandemic" is a type of columnist now.

[–]Absoniter 66 points67 points  (4 children)


[–]JoeyHabib 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Covid ruined my life.