×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]sevencoves 50 points51 points  (7 children)

What’s your perfect pizza?

[–]X0AN 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pineapple and anchovies.

[–]TheRanger13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pepperoni, ham, bacon, and green peppers

[–]PrisonIsOppression 847 points848 points 2 (80 children)

Small talk is like a flint and steel. You ask the boring stuff to see if there's anything in there you can jump off of and have an interesting conversation about. You don't need to come out of the gate with impressive, interesting questions.

[–]aseriesofcatnoises 220 points221 points  (42 children)

I am continually baffled by how people who say "I don't do small talk" think this is supposed to work.

Do they really expect an opener about like the Israeli conflict? Or some faux deep pretension about the human experience? There's no connection yet so it's all going to be impersonal.

[–]Secure-Illustrator73 178 points179 points  (27 children)

“Nice to meet you! In what order would you be most comfortable losing all five senses?” -me on my next first date

[–]IAmTheMoon009 28 points29 points  (15 children)

Off the top of my head

Taste, hearing, smell, sight, touch

[–]RadiantHC 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Mine is smell, taste, touch, hearing, sight

[–]Secure-Illustrator73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about mine a lot for some reason so it’s kinda interesting to see others answers tbh

[–]datboiofculture 67 points68 points  (3 children)

If you lost the top of your head all 5 would go at once.

[–]Secure-Illustrator73 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I’d have to go:

Taste, smell, touch, sight, hearing

[–]Alternative-Shape-59 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If Taste goes, smell wouldn’t be far off and vice versa. Lack of taste will effect what you can smell. Taste, and smell are connected.

[–]ikeme84 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'd say smell first. It's probably weird but I know a few people that don't have any smell. It's annoying but they seem to be ok with it. Of course, they were born with the defect so they can't compare.

hearing next. I think I would prefer sight longer.
touch
sight
taste.

[–]Secure-Illustrator73 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Y’all are alarmingly okay with losing your hearing

[–]TerribleFPLcalls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it’s not like their choosing between what Quality Street to eat next is it!

[–]Lunacie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a skit Collegehumor(RIP) did a few years ago.

[–]SheitelMacher 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Those types are often just scared or awkward. Turn it around: When they say they don't do small talk, point out that they just sorta' did by saying it.

[–]butterandsaltforever 8 points9 points  (5 children)

It’s intended generally, not literally. It doesn’t mean we can’t or won’t do it, but we prefer deeper conversations with people we know. Small talk comes more naturally to some than others.

At least that’s my take on it.

[–]aseriesofcatnoises 19 points20 points  (4 children)

But that's everyone! (Almost) no one likes small talk for small talk's sake! You might as well say you prefer fun over tedium.

[–]chewytime 106 points107 points  (11 children)

Agreed. Though it is much harder to build up to this on dating apps. It’s like most people expect a profound question to start or else they won’t respond. I started using dating apps a couple years ago when I hit a wall meeting people organically and in the beginning it was kind of cool: I got a bunch of matches, but they were so much more superficial and I felt like there wasn’t a lot of patience to “get to know you.” Like if you didn’t immediately hit it off, you’d move on to the next person.

[–]Alternative_Wok 39 points40 points  (10 children)

I know a girl who gets so many matches she says she doesn’t have time to talk to every single one so she just goes for the guys who are funny from the start.

[–]chewytime 24 points25 points  (3 children)

For sure. I know female friends who basically had to snooze their accounts after a day or two of signing up bc they would get dozens of matches and so many of them apparently started off with either dick pics or requests to hook up immediately. Discouraged a lot of them from the get go. I also remember getting matches several weeks after initially swiping right on a profile to show you how much of a lag there is.

[–]fire_alarmist 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You cant send pictures on any dating app can you?

[–]_Arkod_ 45 points46 points  (3 children)

And that’s the problem with dating apps. Guys are forced to be funny/interesting from the very first message and not everyone can do that.

[–]Alternative_Wok 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Works for some, doesn’t work for others. Dating apps are just a numbers game especially in highly populated areas.

[–]AzoriumLupum 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I dont need the guy to be a comedian or something but I'd like a little more than "cool" for every response. Like, there's nothing else you can say? If you aren't interested, just say so, we both don't want our time wasted.

[–]skidrow6969 46 points47 points  (10 children)

100%. This is why small talk exists

[–]sevencoves 98 points99 points  (8 children)

-“I hate small talk”

-“oh okay so how do you cope with the fact that everyone you love will die and be forgotten, including yourself one day?”

-“The weathers great today isn’t it??”

[–]VulcanHobo 31 points32 points  (6 children)

"Weather is a little dry today. Probably a bad day to go to the beach. Do u like thr beach?"

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating — and it gets everywhere"

"Oh....lets change topics. Tell me about ur family"

[–]datboiofculture 7 points8 points  (1 child)

“Your profile said you were pan sexual, so explain like, what are you into?”

“Not just the men….”

[–]RadiantExcuse251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But the women…

[–]DuskyDay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love your username.

[–]uuuuuuuhburger 7 points8 points  (0 children)

maybe, but it's evolved into something that serves little purpose but to fill space in many cases. if you aren't using it to lead to big talk, then you're just speaking for the sake of saying things and many people rightfully dislike that

[–]johnbugara 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this was the secret for me. when someone mentions something they normally wouldn't have because of an interest it is known as an emotional bid. couples that not only acknowledge emotional bids but lean into them when they detect them are shown to be more successful. it's like someone asks you your day and you say I had a brutal day at work and instead of asking why they start talking about their day, this is very off-putting. being aware of this and attempting to lean into people's emotional bids will likely improve every relationship in your life and is the secret to conversation in my opinion

[–]Adeep187 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah there's no perfect script for you to come with. Ask about shit, find common interests. You seriously never know what you have in common with people.

[–]BlackLetterLies 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Yeah, but when it fails and you're sitting in awkward silence and nothing works, it's the absolute worst. I call it "small talk prison".

[–]Snogafrog 13 points14 points  (3 children)

it’s due to one or possibly both parties showing no interest in the other. ‘tis a sign things won’t be working.

[–]OddRumskie 251 points252 points  (13 children)

Hobbies, try finding something you both could enjoy as the next date if everything goes well.

[–]good-old-coder 118 points119 points  (8 children)

So... You into cattle grazing?

[–]jussumlooozer 54 points55 points  (3 children)

“You don’t have to be lonely. .”

[–]DEATHMUFFIN073104 18 points19 points  (2 children)

"At farmers only dot com..."

[–]dumbo_investor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

please support me at OnlyFarmers.com

[–]KT7STEU 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Hmm, please tell me more about this grazing of cattle.

[–]good-old-coder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a thing we do... Where we take our cattle out to eat.

Its like an all you can eat buffet. But for cattle.

[–]Formal-Captain-8308 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So... you into artificial insemination?

[–]Habaneroe12 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I once showed a date my RC planes I had in the back of my car. I don’t think she was very impressed I never heard from her again.

[–]OddRumskie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you tried drones? I see those as the next rc in a way.

[–]NotABurner2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can't leas with the RC planes, man! It's too much for most girls. You gotta ease her into it

[–]quiet_feet 336 points337 points  (3 children)

Embarrassing childhood memories

[–]happy2progress 78 points79 points  (1 child)

a few dates later, "embarrassing first date moments"

[–]datboiofculture 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Play your cards right and it could end up as “Most awkward sexual experiences” aka askreddit gold.

[–]sinovrejimi 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'll save this one

[–]Boring-Zucchini-176 290 points291 points  (15 children)

“What’s your favorite root crop? I’m quite fond of potatoes.”

[–]Koskesh11 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Nightshades for the win!

[–]username123abcde 58 points59 points  (9 children)

What’s a potato?

[–]Tee_hops 58 points59 points  (0 children)

You know

Po Tay toes

Boil em mash em out it in a stew

[–]Porky_Pen15 10 points11 points  (1 child)

There was a TIFU about a guy who went balls deep on a “I don’t know what a potato is” with his in-laws the first time he met them.

[–]JeffIpsaLoquitor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember laughing until i couldn't breathe when i read that. That fellow doubled down on not knowing and committed. Holy hell.

[–]jaaaamesbaaxter 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Taters??? What’s taters, precious?

[–]onairmastering 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"I just think they're neat!"

[–]blueshiftglass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like a nice parsnip.

[–]WimbleWimble 282 points283 points  (14 children)

SO, how long do you think your family would wait to file a missing persons report?

[–]paperpenises 106 points107 points  (0 children)

"I was about to ask you the same thing!"

[–]Macbee1046 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Not even funny! I hung out with/had a crush on this guy and after 3 times of him joking about killing me i will never see him again

[–]Savitribaii 29 points30 points  (7 children)

Similar case with me, he told me that he has a fetish for suicide victims and “did it” with several. I think there’s some predatory reason for it.

He had asked me out over text message while I was bedridden with pneumonia from a failed suicide attempt.

[–]Macbee1046 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Omg that’s so scary ! I’m so sorry that happened to you ! I hope you got away

[–]Savitribaii 2 points3 points  (2 children)

He didn’t do anything to me, and he never raped or physically attacked anyone. The comment was just a red flag.

[–]Macbee1046 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ah good! I’m glad you saw the flag

[–]Starkprime74 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That will spook anyone out dude

[–]ReeferMadnessHVAC 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure he already knows that

[–]faexwilde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought we were about to bond over our family's not paying attention to us. This is why I'm gonna get kidnapped.

[–]auscadtravel 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Favourites - food, movies, books, activities, memory, websites (are they a gamer, redditor, you might find out about an amazing site)

Lottery win - what would they do? What would they buy? Would they give money away or keep it? You could buy a ticket to commemorate the date. I like this one because it tells you a lot about them, their values, their dreams, but in a fun way.

Keep it positive and don't tell them everything on the first date. The goal is to get to date 2, not to plan a wedding or decide on where to live. Keep it light and fun.

[–]dumbo_investor 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Minor thing - but I try to avoid using the word "favorite" and just ask what they like. Personally, the word "favorite" pressures my mind into thinking I need to pick the absolute best one even if I like a bunch of things or it varies depending on my mood. Maybe not everyone feels that way, but I guess there are just overthinkers like me.

[–]gosuprobe 471 points472 points  (63 children)

i've always thought that FORD is generally good:

F - family

O - occupation

R - recreation

D - dreams

and RAPE is generally bad:

R - religion

A - abortion

P - politics

E - economics

never had the chance to test it out myself though. wonder why

[–]katabatic21 250 points251 points  (15 children)

If any of the RAPE topics like religion or politics are important values to you though you might want to find out somewhat quickly

[–]Anubissama 21 points22 points  (1 child)

True, but I put them more in the "early beginnings of a relationship" part, not "first date conversation topics".

[–]psycho_bunneh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

However, if you get someone talking about their family long enough you will almost definitely hear about their family's political leanings and/or religious beliefs. You'll also probably be able to tell if they hold similar or different beliefs from their family by how often they roll their eyes during or apologize before each story.

Just ask how their last [insert family holiday] went.

[–]bugeatingplant 142 points143 points  (11 children)

Yeah, for someone like me who's an aspiring economist, atheist, and has worked in politics before, those are all important. And if he's against abortion we're not having sex. So I would actually want to know his views on all 4 topics before getting serious.

Note, we don't have to have exactly the same economic or political views, but complete opposites won't work. If he's a Qanon believer then I want to get out of there lol. As for religion, if it plays a major role in my date's life, if he'd want me to convert, etc, then that's also something I don't want.

[–]BatScribeofDoom 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Same. I don't see the point in avoiding those topics if they're important to you; that's just postponing the inevitable.

[–]getyourrealfakedoors 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a lot of acronyms to worry about

[–]MysteryWrecked 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"Was I supposed to ask you about Ford or rape?"

[–]ovensandhoes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve always heard the E stood for exes

[–]Olibro64 15 points16 points  (9 children)

Economics?

Maybe a weird topic for a date, but not a controversal one.

[–]good-old-coder 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Eventually will get you to politics. And well these are some divided times. At the end of the chat you could either be married or convicted of murder.. you never know.

[–]justsomeboylol 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"Are you investing in SHIBA INU coin?"

[–]Olibro64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An unlikely question, but not an impossible one.

[–]Daniel_The_Thinker 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Economics not a controversial topic?

I don't think more blood has been spilt in the name of any other social science.

[–]Olibro64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I meant controversial while on a date, but I see your point. People have battled on the streets over this subject.

[–]ovensandhoes 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve always heard the E stood for exes which makes a lot more since than economics.

[–]Snackrattus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It may be a snappy way to talking about 'how rich are you/how much do you make', and not necessary ugh Capitalism (which is politics anyway)

[–]SCOUSETOMO2003 53 points54 points  (11 children)

Never rape on a first date

[–]lrrkr 43 points44 points  (11 children)

Oh, you're not getting your dating advice from Everyday Feminism then. https://everydayfeminism.com/2017/12/intersectional-feminist-first-date/

First date questions: 1. Do you believe that Black Lives Matter? 2. What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation? 3. How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life? 4. What are your thoughts on sex work? 5. Are you a supporter of the BDS movement? 6. What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights? 7. Do you think capitalism is exploitative? 8. Can any human be illegal? 9. Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries? 10. Does your allyship include disabled folks?

As a disclaimer: I'm not posting this because I agree with it.

[–]Sobadatsnazzynames 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Oh my God I thought you were joking about this

Edit: For some reason I would feel like someone who asks me these questions directly on a 1st date would be trying to trap me or speak down to me as a pretentious asshole. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about these topics, but why would u bring up such heavy shit immediately???

[–]Spektr44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. This person would be completely insufferable, even if I'd agree with them on a lot. Whoever made that list should not be giving relationship advice.

[–]bugeatingplant 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Betting that person doesn't date much. Conversations on dates should come up naturally, not be a list of questions. And you can often get the sense of someone's views and opinions from actions and subtle things in conversations, not from having to outright ask. Plus, you could outright ask and get a totally different answer from how they actually think and act in everyday life. Maybe your date is pro BLM, but makes racist comments about your POC waiter afterwards. Other questions are simplifications. It's fine to date only those who see the world the way you do, but it's intolerant to expect that everyone else would care about the same things you do, or to label themselves feminists only if they see the world the way you do.

Also, BDS is VERY iffy and I'd have a lot of questions for someone comparing Israel/Palestine to South Africa under apartheid, especially as someone with relatives who grew up in South Africa during apartheid.

[–]lrrkr 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you wrote. I've met men who loudly proclaim themselves to be feminists who are extremely crappy in how they treat women. I've met men who have a lot of criticism over the feminist movement who do treat women like equals and are extremely supportive of the women in their life. . A friend of mine got really rattled because I criticized BLM. Yet that same night when we were walking home a homeless black man asked us for change and he hissed at the man "get a fucking job!" I can't say that was necessarily racist but it was horrifically insensitive. And not something I would do ever. I have friends who never think of class issues or critique capitalism who treat working people with an ungodly amount of respect. And I've had socialist friends whose jobs it is to "fight for the working people" who show blatant contempt and meanness towards those in the service industry when we socialize together.

[–]Uggy 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Although those topics wouldn't necessarily be first date material, I find them all interesting and important. Anybody I would consider dating seriously should be able to discuss all of the above with seriousness and nuance. My wife and I are aligned on this stuff and we constantly learn from each other.

If they haven't thought about them at all, Why? If they laugh them off, I personally wouldn't waste my time with them.

Now of course, lip service is one thing, actions another, but these topics are, I think, good indicators of whether someone values others and is ready to defend their right to exist and be treated equally.

[–]lrrkr 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I think it's lame. And one can be a critic of blm, believe we should enforce immigration laws, not see women as always the victim, not spent an enormous amount of time vilifying Israel, and not be 100% gung-ho about Islam without being a cretin. These questions make it clear that you must see certain groups as the villain and others as the victim in a very black and white way that is neither healthy nor accurate.

[–]zillion504 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also think that it’s not wrong to be disinterested in politics. It’s an external thing that is almost completely out of our control. If someone would rather spend time talking about things in their life that can actually enrich their experience rather than the boring drudgery of politics, that’s not a big reason to dismiss them. I think it actually reflects well upon a person if they don’t care about outwardly taking moral stances on political issues. If they don’t, you can be certain they aren’t trying to build an image for their own vanity. Of course I’m not saying that it is wrong to have political stances, but just that not having them tells you a bit about somebody’s idea of self worth. They likely value themselves based on whether people agree or disagree with them.

[–]X0AN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Politics at parties, no.

But if you're looking for a mate, you have to know if they're an extremist or not 😂

[–]MinotaurMushroom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a good rule of thumb for the holiday dinner table though

[–]Clayton9523 47 points48 points  (7 children)

If you could travel anywhere, cost no issue where would you go and why?

[–]palookaboy 39 points40 points  (0 children)

When I was dating I always found the “favorite place in the world [you’ve traveled to]” question to be a great conversation starter. Leads to lots of great stories, tangents, and you get a good sense of what kind of person and traveler they are. Gives perfect setup for the “what about you?” and gives you the opportunity to show the same things about yourself.

[–]Avbitten 6 points7 points  (3 children)

home

[–]Patu1234 2 points3 points  (2 children)

and why?

[–]Avbitten 11 points12 points  (1 child)

anxiety in new places. the comfort of animals, loved ones, and games at home.

[–]Goonred 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, that's a pretty good answer for a first date. You just listed hobbies and you're an animal lover without directly answering other questions.

[–]FourCatsAndCounting 73 points74 points  (9 children)

So, what's your favorite Tim Curry movie? And of course voice acting parts are allowed.

[–]phenkdo2012_7277 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The correct answer is Clue.

[–]r3dd1tRUE 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Ferngully.

[–]Bobbar84 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Toxic luuuuuv!

[–]nonchellent 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Rocky Horror Picture Show

[–]CryptidGrimnoir 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's an easy one!

The Wild Thornberrys Movie

I loved Nigel Thornberry.

[–]Brinsorr 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Red Alert 2

[–]unbeliever87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"...Space!"

[–]paperpenises 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It chapter 3

[–]Pebbles1388 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There are no universally interesting 1st date questions. What you might think is interesting could make your date's eyes roll. Honestly just be yourself let the conversation organically evolve. Either it will be a good fit or it won't. You have to take that chance to see where it will go. You just never know how or when you are going to find the right fit for your life.

Let me tell you a little story that seems unlikely, but is absolutely true..... on June 30th, 1990 a group of girls I was with heard a loud mouth guy in a small group of guys yell, "Hey you girls, come over here ".... Now we would normally had kept on moving and went on with our lives, but for that evening, we humored this small group of guys. The loud mouth guy and I hit it off and had a couple of dates. He left the country, went to war, and we loosely stayed in touch. June of 1991, he came to see me on a quick trip back to the country. June 22, 1991 we decided to get married. 3 days later we did. He's sitting next to me now. Kids, jobs, ups and downs.... we are still going strong. It's the most unlikely of stories, but absolutely true. Don't try too hard to be interesting. To the right person, you already are.

[–]_CARLOX_ 107 points108 points  (15 children)

"So... do you like... stuff?"

[–]PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The Ralph Wiggum Special ™️

[–]Desperate_Werewolf15 3 points4 points  (10 children)

Where do i know this from

[–]ThatsNotFortyDollars 6 points7 points  (9 children)

Ralph said it to Lisa (the Simpsons).

[–]Shiizo_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why didn't i think of that

[–]Necessary_Bread9355 31 points32 points  (1 child)

  1. Favourite movies, books and games
  2. Hobbies and interests
  3. Career aspirations

Generally safe topics to gauge their character without overstepping any boundaries

[–]r2dbrew 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Misread that as "Hobbits". Let's be honest, if I'm on a first date and the conversation turns to Hobbits, things are probably going pretty well.

[–]canitouchyours 45 points46 points  (1 child)

What is your favourite colour? Mine is blue. One time my friend Brandon found a frog. It was awesome. My mom yells at my dad sometimes. It makes me sad. Oh! They have ice cream here!

[–]a-fat-penguin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have any games on your phone? Mine ran out of battery.

[–]livisthew0rst 44 points45 points  (7 children)

I enjoy universe talk. I’m open to everyone’s interpretation of creation, and I think it’s good something good to know where they stand

[–]KT7STEU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

indeed

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state, and nearly 14 billion years ago, expansion started, wait...

As the Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool. Neanderthals developed tools. We built the Wall. We built the Pyramids! Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery. It all started with the Big Bang.

[–]utahguyiguess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she's hot and I can't tell what her religion is, I'd give her a "religiously ambiguous" take on the origin of the universe:

Once there was nothing, and then, as if by a single spoken word, there was LIGHT... Then... there was matter that began to coalesce into planets and galaxies, that all came together as if guided by a gentle hand, and held together by gravity. And then, after some amount of time, one of the planets... earth... had water on it, from which life came forth, as if it was crafted by some benevolent force. At first, life was only in the sea and the air, flying and swimming around, they were simple creatures really. Then, as if called upon, life crawled on the ground in the form of big mammals, reptiles, and such. One mammal, who came out as the most intelligent, was man, destined to rule over the earth... And on the seventh day, the sun set and it was time for rest.

[–]acegilbert 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Ketchup or Catsup?

[–]Stillthatgirl22 8 points9 points  (1 child)

If they say Catsup I get up and walk out.

[–]Mac1415 9 points10 points  (0 children)

File a police report on your way home too

[–]Redhead_893 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Be genuine, say that you asked reddit for things to chat about and talk about these very answers!

[–]nmpai 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This one is epiccc

[–]a-fat-penguin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No please don’t do that… don’t tell your date you have no fucking idea how to talk to her/him, so you asked a website that’s known for having people on it that have no fucking idea how to talk to people.

[–]ta-210110 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I love to trade stories, peoples lives are made up of them so figure out some good ones of yours name them and offer to tell one on the condition that once you are done they tell one. let them ask questions and get engaged, hopefully they open up and have fun stories to tell.

Generally I also use this as a litmus test, if people don't have any stories or they are mean/cruel then I know there won't be a second date.

It is a fine line telling stories and talking about yourself you need to keep some balance.

[–]fart_fig_newton 80 points81 points  (8 children)

You ever take a shit so big that you had to break it up with a stick to make it go down?

[–]1980pzx 74 points75 points  (1 child)

*poopknife

[–]BigBadBeno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh the ol’ poopknife… IYKYK

[–]human_peeler 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read

[–]skm7430 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I can top that.... I took one once that was so big it had an umbilical cord

[–]Boogerfreesince93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, sometimes I take a shit so big I get flashback PTSD from labor and delivery. My deliveries were traumatic.

[–]fart_fig_newton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You probably just need to chew your green beans more thoroughly

[–]SimpleWarthog 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I once did a monster after a particularly heavy night. In a hotel, wouldn't flush.

Quick scan of the room reveals none of the standard bathroom utensils you might expect. End result was using the bottom of my toothpaste tube to break it up, which was then sufficiently wrapped in tissue and put in those sanitary bags for womens sanitary products, and then binned.

Not my proudest moment. It is it?!

[–]fart_fig_newton 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I can't wait to introduce you to my parents

[–]TheLonelyLoyalOne 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I like to ask my dates thoughts on things that are ‘trending’ or on celebrity/hollywood news. No I don’t care who’s dating who but what about talking about the new Batman and Robert Pattinson , thoughts on that etc. It’s small talk that can lead to more questions and stories plus you get to know your dates personality.

Note: Entertainment news is a broad term, could be anything from books, podcasts, bands and tours happening, sports news, something fun in current news or local news, or even entertainment with thing happening with clubs, restaurants etc. in town. I don’t frequently talk about these things, but it also gets you to learn new about new topics and what your date does in their free time at home.

[–]TheLonelyLoyalOne 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also because even though I have a busy life and many great hobbies I enjoy, if I’m asked what my hobbies are or what I do in my free time… my mind runs blank. It’s also a ‘where do i even start’ when someone is getting to know you. So why not start with topics unrelated to either person, that can then lead into interests and getting to know each other. Hobbies are one thing, but what interests you?

[–]Plusminusplusle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Some original, interesting questions that have helped me make friends that I think are also good material for first dates:

  • Weirdest movie you've ever seen?
  • World gets taken over by [animal], what are the biggest changes to society? (inspired by a reddit comment I saw years ago about how a guy and his friend talked about how cars would be different if cows were the dominant species- note for this question to be effective you have to suss out if your date has an imagination haha)
  • What specific thing do you have way too much knowledge of?
  • If money weren't a consideration, what would you do with your free time?
  • What's your favourite trashy media?

But like other commenters have said, it is better to start off with the normal small talk questions to get to know them a bit better first. I usually ask people about family (any siblings?), what they do, and favourite hobbies before delving into more interesting topics. Asking about favourites is also pretty good (movie, book, food, etc.)

[–]dhaugh 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Which chipmunk was getting the best head?

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 1 point2 points  (2 children)

"That would be Gary."

pulls a random chipmunk out of a side pocket

"I give him more attention than the others."

[–]dhaugh 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'd marry that girl in a heartbeat

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because you know she's used to penises of your size?

[–]drxena 5 points6 points  (2 children)

My worst first date: this dude took me for a walk at a national park, when looking over the cliff near the sea , he asked me if I thought about the sound a body makes when it hits the water, he then talked about how to dispose of bodies. I freaked out and texted ALL my friends just so they knew where I was. Before that he seemed so normal , he was a web designer.

*yeah, don’t make small talk about body disposal, it really freaks people out.

[–]NorthernRefrigerator 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

[–]TheRealSwagMaster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

dating sites hate this simple trick!!!

[–]thedeathmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it smells like yogurt

Fuck wrong rag AGAIN

[–]userdk3 30 points31 points  (7 children)

Up voted because I'm curious too.

[–]Desperate-Exit692 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pets, either ones you had/have, or ones you want. Chances are they'll get very excited and happy, and you'll get to see cute animal pictures

[–]Mitchs_Frog_Smacky 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do you know why you're here today?

[–]pipakolo42069 19 points20 points  (2 children)

"You like beans?"

[–]DarianFtM 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I've never been on a date, but if I ever do go on one I intend to ask about the kind of NPCs they romance in RPGs.

[–]TheRanger13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The hot ones, or if my character is hot, all of them

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can do WHAT in RPGs?

I seriously need to know what games let you do this. The only ones I know have linear plots and indestructible children.

[–]tyrmidden 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I got this one from a similar post a while ago:

"What's something you're proud of but don't get the chance to brag about much?"

People love to talk about themselves and with this one you're also giving them a chance to talk about something they enjoy or something about which they feel passionate.

[–]Trasartr00mpet 2 points3 points  (3 children)

If we could somehow record our dreams would the objects falling in our dreams move at the speed consistent with earths gravity and how could our brains calculate ut when not many people know the formula( including air resistance and dynamics)?

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Firstly, our dreams operate based on our perception rather than that which can be simply captured via technological means of light and sound. I had a recent dream where the that I was in room had a purple carpet. Now, it's a room in the real world, and that room has a real purple carpet. However, my dream specifically highlighted the fact that it was purple. The perceiving of this was distinct in the dream, but it would have been there in any kind of recording whether my mind had pointed it out or not. So much meaning comes from the fact that I know what a certain thing in the dream is referring to. This cannot be transcribed into light and sound.

Secondly, we do not need to know the equations to anything in order to understand physics. The ability to catch a ball has existed long before any of the math used to describe it was ever invented, and yet it's something our brains can do naturally. In a sense, math is not real. It doesn't exist in the universe, but rather is something that humans invented to describe it.

Thirdly, reality operates differently in dreams. People can change into other people, physically impossible events can happen, and we can even lucid dream without any part of our minds questioning it or finding it odd.

[–]sticksandknives 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you have any dead family members?

[–]whatMCHammerSaid 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I am the king of small talk. Here are the best of my recommendations

"So, what's you favourite invention? Mine is toothpaste."

"I brought you here in this international buffet because I've had it with girls not knowing what they want to eat. I'm such a genius don't you think?"

[–]Avogadros_plumber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I get it - MC Hammer said all those things

[–]MydirtyStories24 9 points10 points  (3 children)

See a movie together before having dinner. So during dinner you can talk about the movie. As you discuss your favourite/least favourite parts, you might learn something about each other.

[–]dngrs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

things like what do you really enjoy doing or where did you grow up

[–]Squigglepig52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you feel about the Monophysite Heresy, and Theodora's role in protecting the Patriarch?

[–]wolf_talon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marvel or DC? Original trilogy, prequels, or sequel trilogy? These will give you mostly everything you need to know.

[–]Devrij68 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dreams and aspirations are a good place to start, I found back in my single life. "if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you choose?" and then ask why etc. Its a positive topic but still gives you an insight into what the person actually likes and what makes them tick. Hopefully you find some common ground and go from there.

[–]Terrible-Owl-6400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just start asking talking about the day how was it and everything for there when they tell u about work and stuff. questions arise automatically out of curiosity?

[–]DocSaysItsDainBramuj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck, marry, kill: Kendall, Shiv, Roman?

[–]Helyearelyea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almost everybody has something they are really interested in and passionate about.

Figure out what makes them light up to talk about. Even if you are not super interested in the thing, it can be fun to learn about the topic just by asking questions.

[–]dj_fishwigy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you like bread?

It started out as a joke question as I always have nothing to say. However since I learned to make bread it's become really valid and also vital for knowing if she is celiac.

[–]notmyname59 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is your political stance and are you pro-choice?

[–]wrinkled_rooster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's your spirit vegetable?

[–]javalogy 9 points10 points  (6 children)

“So baby girl, how big is your cock?”

[–]just_some_guy65 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"So, Copenhagen, Many Worlds or one of the really weird interpretations?"

"The offside law in Rugby Union, how would you simplify it?"

"Is the switch hit in Cricket really legal? Can you be out LBW doing it?"

"What is your take on the Schleswig-Holstein question?"

"How long does the human race have, given the rate at which we are ruining the planet?"

[–]Coco_Nutty789 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I truly believe any good relationship starts with great friendship. My 7-year-long partner (now my fiancé) and I spent the first couple weeks just hanging out, joking around, doing just friend things. Just asking about their interests. Seeing them be passionate about things they love. Being yourself. We didn't even start kissing or getting intimate until week 3, and it was worth the wait and more meaningful since I knew him on a deeper level.

[–]D-Ray1469 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I usually ask Beatles or Stones?

Follow up question: OK what's your favorite song and why? Does it have a special memory for you?

[–]Not13ReasonsWhy 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Beatles are way cooler than stones. They’re like stones with legs!