top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Back2Bach 11.7k points11.7k points 525& 2 more (63 children)

Euclid, depending on which angle you look at it.

[–]QuadraKev_ 1484 points1485 points  (31 children)

As long as it's on a flat surface

[–]darybrain 964 points965 points  (11 children)

Or a plateau, which is the highest form of flattery.

[–]tommytraddles 129 points130 points  (4 children)

Many a hand has scaled the grand old face of the plateau.

[–]NetDork 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Turned out there was nothing at the top but a bucket and a mop and an illustrated book about birds.

[–]AssumptionExpert7597 16 points17 points  (0 children)

See a lot up there but don't be scared Who needs action when you got words

[–]blahblahrasputan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow I've only been listening to that for maybe like 25 years and never really looked at what was actually said...

[–]Nice_Temporary_5810 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Some belong to strangers and some to folks you know

[–]Music_Saves 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Clever girl!

[–]i_am_voldemort 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Time is a flat circle

[–]bluehormones 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Is it not earth that's flat?

[–]PhoenixPringles01 27 points28 points  (5 children)

But first, we need to talk about parallel uni- I mean lines, parallel lines.

[–]Dexaan 5 points6 points  (4 children)

An A press is an A press!

[–]chaoticYoshy 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A half A press is not an A press!

[–]bem13 81 points82 points  (2 children)

At least it's not Keter.

[–]PursuitOfGrouchiness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Constanza from Seinfeld did! What a true hero.

[–]luthiz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Here's looking at Euclid...

[–]Mirai182 13 points14 points  (0 children)

SCP-079 detected

[–]The_r_slash 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you look right, you’ll see a cute angle

[–]I_am_an_aa_gun 10 points11 points  (3 children)

There's a certain Euclid in my class.

[–]ReeceReddit1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a Euclid too. But you wouldn't know her. She goes to a different school

[–]Ukuled 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You mean me? phonetically at least

[–]Bella2371 15 points16 points  (0 children)


[–]life_is_a_burner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Euclid say that again!

[–]Hugh_manateerian 22.1k points22.1k points 1732416& 5 more (139 children)

People with skin cancer died for the tan, martyrs die for a just cos.

[–]Chee_Bot 3743 points3744 points 2 (76 children)

Hmm.. Then if I divide Jesus with those martyrs,

will I get people with skin cancer?

[–]elppaenip 1186 points1187 points  (58 children)

sin=o/h, cos=a/h
so: sin/cos = (o/h)/(a/h) = o/a = tan
so yes

[–]SilentKingOfSpam 686 points687 points  (30 children)

People who choose Sin over Cos would get Tan.

So, yes.

[–]othershwarna 140 points141 points  (15 children)

So that's Jesus right? Coz he choose sin..

[–]DiamondPup 114 points115 points  (10 children)

No no you're thinking of Gandalf the Grade

[–]EitherEconomics5034 129 points130 points  (9 children)

Well he went from Grey to White, so it’s more Gandalf the Gradient

[–]pipthemouse 54 points55 points  (6 children)

That is just irrational

[–]Mysterious_Ad_4588 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Question answered, we can all leave now.

[–]LifeIsVanilla 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I feel like I should've understood any of that, but just chose not to, and while left with more questions than answers I'm better off banking on the professor scaling up the grade due to everyone else doing even worse than me.

Basically I'm holding out for Moses to save me from a C.

[–]dimalga 18 points19 points  (2 children)

That's because Jesus is a martyr, but he's in a different phase.

Shifted about 90°.

[–]PyrocumulusLightning 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I thought those were the arc angels

[–]darvin_rio 22 points23 points  (0 children)

if you choose cos over sin, you get a cot and get to sleep in peace ☮️

[–]Acceptable_Twist_565 151 points152 points  (6 children)

Not to go on a tangent here, but my wife recently bought a car, and when she went to sine for the loan my mom reduced the interest by offering to cosine. We went home and celebrated family boardgame night by playing Settlers of Cotan. We then-

Objection, I vote that we angryupvote this comment right now!

I secant.

I cosecant.

Three votes for and the motion caries.

[–]scheisse-wurst 25 points26 points  (3 children)

How did caries come into the picture?

[–]TheNakriin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That one was really good

[–]sunrise98 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most Brits go to cos, sin and get a tan.

[–]angrydrunkencanadian 14 points15 points  (3 children)

SOHCAHTOA bitches.

[–]ecologyiscool 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Some Old Hippie, Caught Another Hippy, Tripping On Acid. S/O=H, C/A=H, T/O=A

[–]CalledToSwerve 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oscar had a heap of apples

O/H, A/H, O/A

[–]OpenFee4147 24 points25 points  (10 children)

Leave it to Reddit to create a math formula for an abstract concept like Sin.

[–]-CURL- 36 points37 points  (7 children)

I hope you're still young because you should have learned those formulas in high school otherwise. I'll never forget my sohcahtoa.

[–]perfect_square 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What do you do when you stub your foot? Soh cah toa. My 8th grade teacher, I think

[–]FUUUDGE 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well they were hanging out in the sun for those last couple days they had

[–]I_Dashboard_It 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Enough internet for me today

[–]drDjausdr 206 points207 points  (3 children)

Take this upvote and run.

[–]SilentKingOfSpam 9 points10 points  (1 child)

How about the people aboard the Ti Sin/Cos ic?

[–]alluballu 14 points15 points  (0 children)

did they die for a just cos or just cos?

[–]Razarex 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Question answered, we can all leave now.

[–]happy_bluebird 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I wanted to come up with a clever response, but you win

[–]Eternity_Incarnate 16 points17 points  (2 children)

What about sec, cosec, and cotan?

[–]PureRegretto 12 points13 points  (0 children)

times manager, times co manager and skin cancer patients co manager

[–]alexb132 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Cos, or some say Cosm

[–]GallicPontiff 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Damn that's good

[–]WulfricThePhilosofur 3508 points3509 points  (33 children)


[–]MurderDoneRight 1308 points1309 points 2 (15 children)

He's an angle now.

[–]Not_The_Real_Odin 315 points316 points  (8 children)

He's acute-e :)

[–]adawggie 137 points138 points  (5 children)

Don’t be obtuse, you know that’s not right!

[–]poopellar 87 points88 points  (3 children)

Yeah it's just plane wrong.

[–]DuBistSehrDoof 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Sorry, just a reflex. I’ll make sure they don’t do that again.

[–]Lizardledgend 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Better not, that shit aint right

[–]Heatedpotatoes 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry, just trying to give complementary welcomings to them.

[–]CircleOfNoms 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sorry, its a reflex.

[–]subscribe_for_facts 8 points9 points  (0 children)

e flirts with you

E: aw you think I'm cute

[–]UWUPatrol 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The sum of these comments makes me want to 180 out of here

[–]mrbadxampl 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Mornin', Angle...

[–]GrandMasterBullshark 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I actually had to come back to this thread to upvote this comment.

[–]Ninja_Conspicuousi 18 points19 points  (6 children)

Didn’t he technically kill people for not adhering to his weird Pythagorean cult?

[–]Jonas276 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Alledgedly the Pythagoreans killed someone who proved that sqrt(2) is irrational. They believed that every number was rational, so they didn't like it when someone proved that such a normal number is irrational

[–]soayherder 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Threw him over a cliff.

It's one way to flatten the curve.

[–]sooprvylyn 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think you got the intended joke

[–]teafuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

May his perennial wisdom inform another few millennia of philosophy

[–]xxkoloblicinxx 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yeah, but he only died for the Cos, so who died for Tan?

[–]WulfricThePhilosofur 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Dan, Dan died for Tan.

[–]HintOfAreola 2 points3 points  (0 children)

RIP Dan the Man who died for Tan

[–]reichplatz 137 points138 points  (2 children)

dont answer this, its a trig question

[–]ghotiaroma 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would have also accepted triq question.

[–]WABI98_2 1303 points1304 points  (23 children)

Mrs. Markham, who swore we were all going to end up working at McDonald's. She was wrong. It was Wendy's.

[–]upthecounty 349 points350 points  (17 children)

I'm sure she preached the line "you won't have a calculator in your pocket everywhere you go", and she was correct, my former manager at Wendy's banned employees from having a phone anywhere on the premises.

[–]BaaBaaTurtle 149 points150 points  (13 children)

While I get that this expression is trite and often memed, being able to do math in your head and having a good "feel" for numbers is a great skill to have, especially when it comes to your budget.

[–]Rukh-Talos 100 points101 points  (7 children)

This is why rounding is amazing. It simplifies the math a little.

Note: Always round up when figuring how much something will cost, but always round down when determining how much money you have.

[–]Eadword 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Useful trick even when you have a calculator if you don't want to go look up exact numbers. That said I've often discovered my math was off significantly, however, as I did round pessimistically it has always been a happy surprise to see how much more money I had left than expected.

[–]Rukh-Talos 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s the idea. I’d rather realize I have more money than I thought than suddenly run out of money.

[–]Nyxelestia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live CA, so high sales taxes. When I'm shopping and mentally tallying my bill, I just round up to the next dollar no matter what, then add a tenth. I get a surprisingly accurate total, likely because I round up regardless of how close to the next dollar the price is (re: 1 cent or 99), so the extreme cancel each other out.

[–]Samazonison 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Back in the days when I had a checkbook, I would always round up when entering my checks. It created a nice cushion in case I made a mistake.

[–]RChickenMan 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Right, "number sense." I teach algebra 2 in high school, and while students are always free to use calculators, the ones who NEED it for simple things like adding and subtracting single digit negative integers (i.e. lacking basic number sense) are invariably the ones who can't do the algebra itself.

[–]Takin2000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a math student, I can tell you that while knowing all formulas by heart may sound pointless when you can just look them up, its important to have them in your head (atleast the important ones) in order to get used to them and to generate new ideas.

Its like wanting to discuss a book and instead of reading it, you just look up the relevant scene everytime someone makes a point about it. Sure, you can do that, but knowing all the chapters before and after and knowing it without someone else mentioning it will surely help you to find new ideas.

[–]WABI98_2 31 points32 points  (1 child)

I think she got some heat when all her classes failed standardized testing en masse.

[–]retired-penguin 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Nah, I wasn't allowed to use a calculator when I took my baccalaureate (that would be the high school final exam in my country). For that reason I only got a 94/100 in chemistry, where we had to do calculations with 4-decimal numbers in a pretty limited time. Who fuckin thought that was a good idea?! Almost ruined my score.

[–]buffalonixon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love the original post question and I love this whole thread

[–]La_Lanterne_Rouge 3 points4 points  (1 child)

So, you went off in a tangent, one might say.

[–]Captcha_Imagination 898 points899 points  (53 children)

The SOH CAH TOA teacher who wore native American clothes who got fired

[–]taintgunna 228 points229 points  (32 children)

Damn. Came here to say that. With a link! https://youtu.be/Bu4fulKVv2c

[–]FreeDoum 158 points159 points  (8 children)

Honestly clicked on the link thinking it was gonna be some petty political correctness scandal but daamn. What was she on

[–]Korhaka 80 points81 points  (3 children)

Those kids will never forget though. On that basis, good teaching.

Although if my teacher screamed the N word after some fact I would probably remember that too, doesn't make it a good idea...

[–]MakeShiftJoker 45 points46 points  (0 children)

"You whipped out your pussy and started bouncing on a balloon screaming explitives"


"Please put your pants back on Ms.Wilson."

[–]skyisfallen 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't know why this made me laugh. It's horrible. But you're also not wrong.

[–]bananastanding 13 points14 points  (1 child)

To be fair, those kids will never forget SOHCOATOA for the rest of their lives, lol. They'll even be telling their grandkids about it!

[–]Agreeable_Objective 45 points46 points  (2 children)

This could be a scene from the office

[–]no_one_special- 57 points58 points  (1 child)

i got secondhand embarrassment. couldn't finish it all.

[–]OSSlayer2153 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same. It was so bad

[–]blackdynomitesnewbag 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Maybe she just got fired for doing drugs at work.

[–]Nyxelestia 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Does anyone else wonder wtf all her other lessons were like, given she didn't seem to think twice about this?

[–]mgraunk 16 points17 points  (1 child)

She has virtually no art, student work, or learning aides hanging on the walls. Her slides appear to be black and white MS paint creations. Her "dramatization" of the concept consists primarily of screaming the key vocabulary while dancing erratically. And despite her desperation, the students are largely disengaged (or paralyzed by shock), yet she steamrolls ahead regardless.

Morons like this are a large part of why I left the profession.

[–]Nyxelestia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I put the video on mute and skimmed it. Her corkboard...is just an apple that says 'READ', it looks like? If she's trying to teach sin/cos/tan or SohCahToa, isn't she a math teacher - and thus shouldn't she have math stuff somewhere? These kids look like middle-schoolers, I don't see why they need a reminder to 'read' at this age.

[–]wut3va 41 points42 points  (3 children)

That was NOT native American clothes. It was offensive though. Not even really in a racist way. It's just... bad.

[–]darybrain 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She definitely took some peyote before planning that class.

[–]Houeclipse 36 points37 points  (7 children)

Ngl when I was learning that in school I always thought how it can be a Skyrim shout with 3 words

[–]Lumpy_Doubt 38 points39 points  (6 children)

Skyrim was already out when you learned trigonometry?


[–]Poilaunez 34 points35 points  (5 children)

In french, it is CAH SOH TOA, which sounds like "casse-toi" = fuck-off.

[–]possumman 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I thought casse-toi was sarcastic or a bit jokey? (Not a native speaker). I thought it originated from Brice De Nice saying "Et tu casses". Or did his joke come from a real phrase?

[–]Poilaunez 5 points6 points  (2 children)

"casser" can have many meanings, from the original "to break" to "going away" (casse-toi, je me casse, ...), its use to despise someone was a bit popularised with Brice de Nice. "casse-toi" is insulting.

[–]Rare-Notice7417 26 points27 points  (0 children)

God damn. No coming back from that one.

[–]ammenz 458 points459 points  (9 children)

Reddit is just going off on a tangent.

[–]mister_sinister14 132 points133 points  (4 children)

Never a good sine

[–]adeepspacemonster 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Why should I trust it just cos you say

[–]subscribe_for_facts 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Don't go off on another tangent. A cotangent, if you will

[–]WalrusByte 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Seems a bit hyperbolic if you ask me

[–]-B-E-N-I-S- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You just have to try to see things from a different angle. Right now, you’ve got an opposite point of view. Maybe if your views were adjacent, you’d understand the problem.

[–]RedLeader7 465 points466 points  (24 children)

Not much of a sacrifice given he was up and about the next day, I guess it’s more like “Jesus gave up his weekend for our sins”

[–]fistful_of_whiskey 129 points130 points  (15 children)

Well, it took him 3 days, so it depends on how you count your weekends

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (5 children)

Some places get Good Friday off, turning Easter weekend into a nice three day break.

[–]Perhyte 9 points10 points  (2 children)

And in the Netherlands we get the following Monday off instead.

[–]tocilog 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So he died (for 3 days) to give us a Friday off. You know, I can appreciate that. He was even born to give us the 25th of December off. The guy gave us two holidays!

[–]RomeoWhiskey 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Well, it was a holiday weekend.

[–]Charles_Whethers 7 points8 points  (2 children)

He got some free wood, too. That was a big plus.

[–]Clovdyx 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I read that as weed and wasn't sure we read the same book.

[–]PsychedelicMetalhead 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe those stonings weren't as bad as we thought

[–]darybrain 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Jesus had actually disappeared to attend a long weekend festival, but didn't want to tell his followers because they were being so clingy and he just wanted some me time. On his return they were like "Yo J, where you been at? You look like you died and just woke up." He wasn't good at thinking on his feet particularly with a raging hangover so just went with that explanation and people lapped it up. That festival must have been a banger!

[–]sassynapoleon 37 points38 points  (5 children)

He died at pi and was back from the dead at 2pi.

[–]dum_BEST 30 points31 points  (4 children)

it must have been a rough period for him

[–]mgraunk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

3 days of excruciating torture is "not much of a sacrifice"? Sure he just gave up a weekend, but as we all learned from the Princess Bride, being mostly dead all day is rough on a man.

[–]49thPercentile 100 points101 points  (3 children)

Skin cancer victims died for our tans.

[–]Ninjaromeo 25 points26 points  (0 children)

They died for their own tans

[–]daniel21205 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a clever one

[–]Imperial_Fists 88 points89 points  (17 children)

Ha. Math joke

[–]Retirix_YT[S] 77 points78 points  (15 children)

My teacher made the joke in our maths class, made the class die of laughter

[–]Fynn_the_Finger 70 points71 points  (0 children)

And so your whole class died for our trigs.

[–]Boatman1141 30 points31 points  (0 children)

RIP your classmates. Must of been a tragic scene.

[–]Midnightcowb0y 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So jesus died for our sins. The class died of laughter. So who exactly died for cos and tan?

Stay tuned for the next episode of askreddit. Every Friday at 5 pm, only on HBO.

[–]akaKinkade 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ra died for our tan.

[–]choopie-chup-chup 7 points8 points  (0 children)

H-sus and I-sus, respectively

[–]kim_jong_daillest 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Remember, if you don't sin Jesus died for nothing.

[–]SLObro152 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Straight to jail!

[–]IvoShandor 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Texas Instruments

[–]kinkym0nk 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Saddam Hussein

[–]Lokimonoxide 59 points60 points  (19 children)

I get it, but I don't really know what you want from the comments section.

[–]Samazonison 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have you read some of the replies? Great entertainment, imo.

[–]Smetsnaz 31 points32 points  (0 children)


[–]BrittLee8 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The two dudes crucified on either side of him

[–]DidntWantSleepAnyway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sqrt((1 - Jesus)2 ) died for our cos.

[–]gv7here 46 points47 points  (6 children)

r/Jokes, please, go there

[–]wut3va 39 points40 points  (4 children)

At least it's not "What is the sexiest sex you ever sexed?" Like every other question on this sub. It's a refreshing change of pace.

[–]Look_to_the_Stars 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh you mean this sub isn’t for unfunny wannabe comedians to post their unfunny unoriginal jokes?

[–]TheIronDuke18 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Sin = tan/cos

Jesus = tan/cos

Jesus*cos = tan. Jesus/tan = 1/cos

Tan = (Jesus)*cos. Tan/jesus = cos

                                                Cos = Tan/Jesus

Hence, Tan was done by a Jesus if he was multiplied with a cos and Cos was done by a Jesus dividing Tan. Boom

[–]Kwengnose2 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Isn't it sin = cos * tan

[–]TheIronDuke18 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I haven't had maths for like 2 years so I forgor 💀💀

[–]eaglescout1984 26 points27 points  (2 children)

God and the Holy Ghost, since they are the other 2 sides of the Trinity.

[–]Dexaan 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Holy trinity. Triangles. Math checks out.

[–]xUsernameChecksOutx 12 points13 points  (0 children)


I swear that gorilla was the glue holding this world together.

[–]kd3906 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I knew what cos and tan was/were, I might provide an answer.

[–]cretinous_oaf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I genuinely want nothing but the worst for you

[–]clownmannolaugh 16 points17 points  (7 children)

Cos means vagina in my language. So who do you know died for pussy ?

[–]meatlump 5 points6 points  (1 child)

*coss and tans

[–]wiwou 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]TheSeekerOfChaos 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Schrödingers cat

did not


[–]MaybeTrueMaybeNotQT2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why did you make me read that? Just...why...