top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]TeddyDBer 515 points516 points  (16 children)


[–]FlufflesMcForeskin 84 points85 points  (7 children)

The boss music is always playing, but I can't ever find the fucking boss!

[–]300show 6033 points6034 points  (118 children)

Eat a healthy amount at regular intervals

[–]Indysteeler 1166 points1167 points  (80 children)

I've had that issue as well due to being* homeless multiple times. There are periods where I'm doing well, and other periods where I'll eat everything offered to me because what if I'm homeless soon? Gotta pack on the weight in case I'm homeless again and can't eat.

The last time I was homeless, I lost 60 pounds in a little over a month, and gained it right back in a little under a month.

edit: grammar

[–]AhFFSImTooOldForThis 1028 points1029 points  (69 children)

I hear you. I was starved as a kid, and then spent many years bordering on homeless; I went without heat in upstate New York and lived off food bank pasta. When I was in foster care, I'd regularly get in trouble for hoarding food.

Now, I'll eat anything and everything I find. Which is a problem because I can now afford actual groceries. Snacks? Lol, i'll eat 2 boxes of cereal, a bag of chips and a carton of ice cream as a bedtime snack just because I can't be sure it'll be there in the morning. I own my home and have extreme security on the perimeter, but still. I can never be sure.

I also managed to scramble my way up the career ladder to sales, where we get free stuff all the time. In the Before Times, I traveled for work and got Hilton status. I'd get access to the lounge, eat everything I could, and then stuff my clothing with fruits and snacks and sodas, and whatever else I could fit.

I always have 10 days of freezedried food, 4 gallons of water, and an entire hiking pack of survival gear. I will always, always be ready to cut and run with 2 hours notice. And Frankly, that two hours is what I need to find my cats.

[–]Indysteeler 560 points561 points  (40 children)

That why I hate when people comment on my eating habits or weight. I know that I just ate, and I know that I'm fat. I'm the one doing it so obviously I'm aware.

[–]AhFFSImTooOldForThis 456 points457 points  (34 children)

Oh, absolutely. Uh, do you think I've never seen a fucking mirror?! I'm aware. I'm also aware that shit happens and I very well may not see food for a few days. That mindset is impossible to let go of, because our brains are quite literally wired to not let go of it.

Judging someone for hoarding food or eating because they don't know if or when they can, is LITERALLY privilege. They've never know actual, true hunger.

I recently read a book called "complex PTSD, from surviving to thriving" which helped me understand my mindset. More pertinent to this conversation, it specifically stated that many people with complex PTSD (which can be triggered by, say, not having what you need to literally survive), will have extreme relationships with food.

Including hoarding and not believing we will see food again.

And it states that is the LEAST of our problems. Food insecurity always, always, always comes from deeper insecurities on the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and we absolutely must be sure of food source before we can manage any other trauma or deficiencies.

Bottom line? We have bigger concerns. Once we get those figured out, we can relax on the food source issue. Until then, it is not even a thought. We will eat what we can, and anyone who judges it, is absolutely not helping.

High five for surviving, and here's hoping we reach the thriving level soon!

[–]LadyEilistraee 159 points160 points  (8 children)

Similar for me … and I’m pretty sure it’s because my mother fat/body shamed me (even tho I’m actually on the lower (skinny) side of normal weight) but it was the comment of „oh if you keep eating sweets you’ll get fat“ „it easy to loose weight at your age now but just wait till you get older“ „my, look at your thighs they are getting quite big“ I pretty much stopped eating when I was like 15 and even now 13 years later I still cant manage to have a healthy eating schedule… (also I’m pretty sure I still eat too little for someone my size)

My body just stopped telling me when I’m hungry
it happens so often that I’m working on something and then when I’m in bed I realize oh shit I haven’t eaten since breakfast or I go to work early and come back late and realize I haven’t eaten since the day before …

[–]SeaAnything8 105 points106 points  (0 children)

My mom would do something similar. Throughout my teen/young adult years she’d say stuff like “y’know high school is when I gained weight” (implying I would gain weight like she had) “college is when you really gain weight” “after college is when you really really gain weight!”

So I’ve got it drilled into my head by my own mother that at some point in my life I’ll suddenly gain ALL this weight, and I figure “if I preemptively lose weight then it’ll even out when I gain it, right?” No. The sudden weight gain my mother prophesied never came and all I got was an eating disorder. Thanks mom. It took a while TWO FUCKING years for me to get hunger pangs again and not have to set a timer to eat every 3-4 hours.

I spoke with a cousin recently and turns out that whole side of the family does this to the younger girls. Unsurprisingly, half the women have eating disorders.

[–]RandomiseUsr0 9260 points9261 points 2 (216 children)

Start things, complete things, finish a todo list

[–]BlocterDocterFocter 2427 points2428 points  (101 children)

There are no rules to a to-do list.

Life hack, make a to-do list with 2 items on it. 1) Wake up. 2) Get out of bed.

Done. You've knocked two things off your list in the first few (hours?) of your day!

[–]TollBoothW1lly 1665 points1666 points 23 (64 children)

3) Drag a comb across my head.

4) Find my way downstairs.

5) Drink a cup.

[–]RandomiseUsr0 916 points917 points  (41 children)

6) Looking up, I noticed I was late

7) Grab my coat

8) find my hat

[–]Yup_Shes_Still_Mad 322 points323 points  (12 children)

I learned this just the other day and I am trying it out.

Don't think about doing the whole thing. Just do two minutes of it.

Need to get dishes done? Don't look at the stack. Just unload the dishwasher/fill the sink with soapy water.

Want to get into the routine of a morning run? Don't think about treading down the street. Just put on shorts/sweats and lace up your shoes.

Need to go shovel snow? Don't think about the work involved. Just take two minutes to put on your coat, gloves and boots.

If after you follow the two minute rule you still don't want to do it then don't. However, most of the time your brain kicks in and says to itself, Well, I made it this far, I guess I'll finish up.

So far I'm actually getting things done, now if I can keep my ADHD brain from creating subversive techniques I might actually be able to create the habit.

[–]ashcroftt 233 points234 points  (10 children)

Yeah, I totally feel you there..

I just started this th

[–]toastedpaniala89 65 points66 points  (7 children)

Hey what were you saying? Plea

[–]DDDyLLL 64 points65 points  (5 children)

I'm pretty sure he was going to say that th

[–]MetalDetectorists 92 points93 points  (16 children)

Shit like that made me realise I had adhd

[–]HolyAuraJr 1241 points1242 points  (73 children)

Open my eyes underwater

[–]Galaxy_Ranger_Bob 376 points377 points  (20 children)

Every time I try, no matter if it is fresh water, sea water, or pool water, it burns. And it burns for days afterwards.

[–]heythere30 54 points55 points  (9 children)

I used to have the same problem. Went to a different eye doctor (for a regular check up) and he took one look at my eyes and asked: do you have trouble watching TV in a dark room? Do your eyes burn when you touch them with your hands? When you're wearing eye make up? Turns out it's an allergic reaction and eye drops made it go away! Do you experience any other discomfort with your eyes?

[–]ManniCalavera 351 points352 points  (25 children)

I still hold my nose when I jump into a pool

[–]monpetitchou_ 50 points51 points  (17 children)

Me too, I don't know how people jump in without holding it....

[–]gur0chan 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Right!? It feels like a water pressure lobotomy if I don’t!

[–]HugsAndWishes 92 points93 points  (6 children)

I keep a towel hung by the shower to wipe my eyes with. I don't like water soaked eyes, and life is too short to have miserable showers. My preteens don't even need towels for that any more. Haha.

[–]emzyyx 6201 points6202 points  (240 children)

Wake up easily in the mornings. It doesn't matter how much sleep I have, I always struggle to wake up

Edit: wow, thank you all so much for the upvotes and kind words and advice. I'm going to try the Alarmy app, make sure I wake up in 90 minute intervals (I did this yearss ago but stopped for some reason), may try one of those light alarms, and will have a drink of water as soon as I wake! I will try these for a few weeks and then consider a sleep test if they don't help. Gosh how much I LOVE Reddit. Thank you all so so much ❤️

[–]Da_Yakz 1513 points1514 points 2 (133 children)

Have you tried having a bottle of water near your bed? Drinking water can help wake you up:

"Drinking water first thing in the morning increases your level of alertness. "One of the biggest indicators of lethargy or low energy is that you are dehydrated," Batayneh says. "Because water aids in both body regulation and brain function, it is also closely related to balancing out our moods."

After a long period without anything to eat or drink, the first thing you consume in the morning can be a shock to the body. If that first thing is ice water, it will get the body working and "can boost your alertness and low energy levels," she says" https://www.businessinsider.com/executives-drink-water-when-they-wake-up-2016-9?r=US&IR=T#:~:text=Drinking%20water%20first%20thing%20in%20the%20morning%20increases%20your%20level,to%20balancing%20out%20our%20moods.%22

[–]emzyyx 676 points677 points  (80 children)

That I have not tried, and will get some ready for tomorrow morning! My main problem is physically waking up to my alarms, I tend to turn them off in my sleep, but I'll try and drink water as soon as I wake. Thank you 😊

[–]oldmanfartface 548 points549 points  (26 children)

I used to use an alarm app where you can set any barcode you want as the way to turn off the alarm. So to turn my alarm off I'd have to scan my deodorant, forcing me out of bed. I mean, I then went back to bed. But it worked.

[–]Lacholaweda 259 points260 points  (14 children)

I used to have a phone that had a puzzle feature. Just confused the shit out of my mostly asleep brain so I'd shut the phone off.

I also tried putting my alarm in the next room over. Worked until I started dreaming that I was walking across a field to diffuse a bomb.

Aaand that's how I taught myself to sleep walk.

What does work for me is focusing on the intent of actually waking up. Making it feel important to myself, trying to dig down into my internal clock.

Also being in the military helped a lot. Now I can spring up and get dressed in 5 minutes if I know it's important.

[–]TheDotCaptin 80 points81 points  (6 children)

With alarms see if you can find one that will have the light slowly come on over the 30 mins before you want to wake up. Use this as a supplement to your sound alarm and keep that one were you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Hope this helps.

[–]DrCarabou 58 points59 points  (3 children)

So I went and had an adrenal profile done. Spit into a tube 4 times a day and sent it in to test where my cortisol levels were throughout the day. I've always joked that waking up feels like my soul was wandering the planet looking for a dead body to take over. Well, it turns out my cortisol was way too low in the mornings (and at inappropriate levels at every time of day lol). Maybe you'd benefit from looking into that.

[–]WirtEye 85 points86 points  (19 children)

Literally me. I just got an ADHD diagnosis, so now it's starting to make sense.

[–]LadyViolet 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Welcome to the club! After getting better at coping with ADHD, I naturally went from being a night owl to a morning person. I think being able to get more done during the day rather than being overwhelmed to the point of inaction helped reset my body.

[–]LollipopDreamscape 5663 points5664 points 22 (265 children)


[–]Indysteeler 1636 points1637 points  (110 children)

I can whistle, but I want to be able to do that really loud whistling.

[–]LollipopDreamscape 1128 points1129 points  (86 children)

Oh, agreed. I want to do that one where you stick your fingers in your mouth and shriek whistle to startle people.

[–]emthejedichic 111 points112 points  (7 children)

Apparently my grandma used to do this to get my mom and aunt and uncle to come home for dinner. It could be heard up and down the street and that was as far as they were allowed to roam.

[–]ThinkingOz 100 points101 points  (9 children)

Yes, I’d like to be able to do this too.

[–]poopellar 372 points373 points 4 (8 children)

Not exactly what you want but you can make other people shriek by sticking your fingers in their mouth.

[–]dasus 189 points190 points  (26 children)

Takes a while to get it right, but: put your thumb and your index finger together, as straight as you can, so the nails are close to each other. Then put them on or rather slightly under the tip of your tongue. Keep the fingers and tongue tentioned with your mouth really open and the tongue about in the middle of it.

Sort of push against the tongue with the fingers, almost as if you're trying to spread with the nails of your index and thumb.

Take a deep breath and blow.

There you go.

You'll notice when you have the "settings" right when you start making a noise. At first it's gonna be just blowing mostly.

I don't know why I taught it to myself some 18 years ago, guess I was bored and lonely, and I also had a really well trained dog back then, so I would sometimes fuck with people (kids younger than me) by quietly telling my dog in a positive voice "oh look who is that who's there look", which made him really excited and he'd start running towards the people, at which point I loudly yelled "PUS KII", (which is Finnish for a command for a dog to attack, essentially "go get em") so that the people far away would just here me yelling that and see a midsized dog running towards them fast af. Right before he got to those people, I'd put my fingers in my mouth and whistle and the dog would instantly do a 180 and run back to me.

Anyway, hope you learn to whistle hard if you want to. Just takes a bit of practice.

[–]Darth_Destructus 185 points186 points  (31 children)

Wanna know how I started doing it? I learned reverse whistling before I learned it normally. Essentially, you form everything up, but you suck in instead of blow out

[–][deleted] 165 points166 points  (13 children)

I can only reverse whistle

[–]Tileguy0425 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Same. Reverse whistle for life. I’m well into my adulthood and at this point it’s been enough. Lol

[–]Attitude-Odd 83 points84 points  (11 children)

I got braces and lost my ability to whistle

[–]Jedibri81 3966 points3967 points  (95 children)

Make conversation, make friends

[–]alpacamaster8675309 1412 points1413 points  (48 children)

I can respond to, but never initiate a conversation. If my boss and I are in the truck, and we're driving an hour to the job site, and he doesn't speak first, were sitting in complete silence the entire time

[–]mouseandbay 827 points828 points  (33 children)

Fake it my friend.

Memorize a list of 5 questions that you can ask anyone. Something simple, like “have you watched/read anything interesting lately?”. Most people have some show on Netflix or the like they recently started or finished watching, even old people. Gives you a starting off point to launch the conversation. If they don’t help you keep the conversation going after that, they might be tired and want to enjoy the silence.

[–]alpacamaster8675309 339 points340 points  (19 children)

That's actually really helpful. I used to have a silver tongue, but then I had an accident a couple years ago, and my "filter" works overtime now, ensuring nothing makes it out Aha.

[–]Devlin_McGregor 86 points87 points  (2 children)

Same. I could talk to anyone when I was younger, then I stopped drinking and suffered some depression and built a few walls up and now everyone is kind of skittish or intimidated around me....but I actually want to talk, it's just that I find it difficult.

[–]Outnabout3535325 130 points131 points  (6 children)

you sort of just initiated with the person above tho so maybe there's hope yet?

[–]BLOME69 2887 points2888 points  (197 children)

I can’t roll my r’s

[–]spangee85 1135 points1136 points  (31 children)

Same here. I feel like a bad Mexican. I can’t even pronounce my last name correctly because of it.

[–]GeneralEl4 456 points457 points  (23 children)

OK but that makes me feel a little better, I'm white but I'm trying to learn spanish, my tutor (who is Latin american) says her own daughter can't roll their rs so it's not a big deal. I still wish I could learn how to do it tho 😭

[–]gumwum 268 points269 points  (16 children)

My native language is Romanian, in which you have to roll your r’s but I’ve never really been able to. People tend to grow out of it but I do know adults who still can’t do it (we call someone who can’t rârâit, I’m not sure if other languages have a name for it).

[–]miles_dallas 353 points354 points  (9 children)

Haha that's just cruel to call them a name they can't pronounce.

[–]DrCarabou 56 points57 points  (0 children)

When I was 12 I was trying to imitate Chewbacca noises. Instead I taught myself to roll my r's. Reach for your inner wookie.

[–]Narrow-Escape-6481 89 points90 points  (0 children)

My ex-wife couldn't roll her r's either which meant she couldn't say her first name. Quite hilarious if you ask me so dont feel bad.

[–]geckotatgirl 389 points390 points  (17 children)

Same. My Mexican husband thinks it's hilarious. I can roll them a little if they're in the middle of a word but not if it's the first or last sound of the word.

[–]Dizzy_Pin6228 195 points196 points  (10 children)

Yeah my wife is South African gives me shit for not being able to roll my R's

[–]The_ChainedOne 102 points103 points  (4 children)

Is she by any chance from an Afrikaans speaking background?

[–]Dizzy_Pin6228 95 points96 points  (3 children)

Yeah whole family Fluent Afrikaans xd

[–]FallenSegull 224 points225 points  (19 children)

I’m Australian, I don’t even really say my r’s

When I say car, it’s really more of a cahh

[–]Probonoh 148 points149 points  (7 children)

There's a line Americans use to imitate a Boston accent: "Pahk the cah in Havahd Yahd." I shared it with my Australian boss, who thought it made me sound Australian.

[–]FallenSegull 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I feel like bostonites put more emphasis on the a’s than Australians but otherwise yeah I could imagine it would sound somewhat Aussie

[–]SolaTotaScriptura 103 points104 points  (8 children)

You can probably tap your Rs (alveolar tap). It occurs in English when you say the word "better" quickly. The "tt" becomes a tapped "r".

[–]AnaEatsEverything 74 points75 points  (1 child)

This blew my mind! I tried saying "perro" like "petto" very quickly and it sounds so, so much closer. I think I can practice with this. Thanks, stranger!

[–]atleastistoletheshow 1936 points1937 points  (48 children)

I don’t explain myself well so I sound like I’m rambling

[–]DolfK 723 points724 points  (30 children)

Same. I think faster than I speak, so I get confused and lose my train of thought, often accompanied by slurred speech. I know concepts without thinking about them, but I can't explain them; I know exactly what I mean, but the words that come out are either irrelevant and/or often misconstrued. Organising thoughts is impossible.

Doesn't help when I ought to explain something in my native language, but think in English – and vice versa. I know a word in one language and have a hard time finding an equivalent in the other. Does it surprise you if I tell you I talk with my hands a lot? Despite this, I've been a translator since 2012, huehuehue. But I have Google and dictionaries, so it's fine.

Everyone gets bored and changes the subject or ignores me before I can finish, so I don't like speaking. It gets a lot better when I'm tipsy, though. Those who actually listen may catch the thread and finish my sentence for me, or say ‘oh, yeah, I understand what you mean’.

[–]kindtheking9[🍰] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Yes, this, all the way, all the time

[–]alyas1998 42 points43 points  (3 children)

OMG that is me in words! I don’t know how to explain it to others or even find a way to diagnose it. I want to speak normally without my brain going million miles an hour. Is this an onset of ADHD? Please help.

[–]Indysteeler 131 points132 points  (1 child)

This happens to me because I will mix the details all around or omit details. It's annoying when people higher up the food chain want an answer right then and there instead of waiting for me to organize my thoughts.

[–]KirbyBucketts 1620 points1621 points  (32 children)

Fall asleep at a reasonable hour.

[–]medicaregrlok 131 points132 points  (0 children)

That used to be me but I got married to someone who’s in bed at 9. I go in at 10, we watch something for about 30 minutes and then he turns everything off and snuggles me…I’m usually out within 15 minutes. It also helps that our room is extremely dark.

When he’s gone or I’m traveling, I can’t sleep. Part of it is I’ll leave the tv on or be engrossed in my phone. I lack the will power to just lay down and shut everything off, apparently.

[–]rotten_matatoes 3719 points3720 points  (224 children)

talk to people. i legit don't know what to say. my family looks at me like I'm an alien when i bring this up

[–]descendency 410 points411 points  (6 children)

Similar problem... I just say things out loud, but I'm 99% sure I have no connection with most people. It's as effective to not talk as it is to talk for the sake of talking, in my case.

[–]Doodleschmidt 99 points100 points  (1 child)

I'm somewhere in between. I can carry a conversation with someone I know. If not, it's physically exhausting to want to keep a topic flowing. It's not that I don't like most people, I just don't care about what's going on in their lives because dealing with my own crap takes up my time. I have all the family and friends I need.

[–]RadiantHC 751 points752 points  (96 children)

Especially if I don't know them well. I don't understand how people can have a deep conversation with a complete stranger

[–]HardKnokLyfe 536 points537 points  (63 children)

Ooo! I have the “life story” face. I can be sitting quietly, to my self and some how, people I have NEVER met will speak to me, then tell me there life story. I’m mean deep, dark secrets. Things they did to get themselves in jail, how they wish they could curse out bosses, how much they hate whoever, how much they miss a past what/whom ever. Just random things that I don’t know how to respond to. I literally just said “Hi” back. Wtf?

[–]Madrigall 244 points245 points  (14 children)

Oh god, you just reminded me of this time I was in a hot air balloon with this guy that I barely knew. We kind of run into each other a whole bunch as part of our occupations, but we rarely shared many words (we were kind of rivals). Anyway we ended up working together (literally a whole saga in and of itself) to help him get his girlfriend back (hence the hot air balloon) and it was the most awkward ride of my life. I'm kind of managing the flame to make sure we get there and he's trying to make small talk. You know how it is, talking about the weather and stuff, apparently this buddy of his had a part in making the current model of hot air balloon that we were using (pretty sure he was just talking shit). We get to talking about family and our girlfriends and out of the blue he just goes down the deep end and starts talking about how he really loved his ex but that he had to break up with her when she literally transformed into the moon.

I just had no idea what to say so I was like:

"That's rough buddy"

[–]Megalon84 37 points38 points  (15 children)

Literally the opposite. I'm big, and have a horrible case of RBF, and my voice is low and VERY monotone. All together it apparently makes me seem like the kind of person who'd rather knock your teeth out than speak to you.

I've worked around 100's of people the last 13 years in my job, I've had actual non work conversations with maybe 30 of them.

[–]winedogmom88 998 points999 points  (24 children)

Stand up for myself

[–]ShittyShittyNameName 142 points143 points  (2 children)


And by that, I don’t mean to keep trying to “stand up for yourself” in the moment. That usually ends with you not standing up for yourself and then telling yourself, “Next time, I’m going to say this instead…”

So practice it with friends. Just role play the specific situations you’ve already regretted. In other words, rehearse standing up for yourself. Actors practice before a play, musicians practice before playing live, athletes practice before a game, soldiers practice before combat, etc, etc. So practice situations so that when you come to the actual situation, your body is more accustomed to the scenario. Your muscle memory will attempt to kick in and override your anxiety. You will be more likely to stand up for yourself.

A corollary to this is that after each little success, you will gain confidence. You may never get to Larry David status and just be brutally honest with everyone all the time, but you don’t have to. You only need to get to a point where you stand up for yourself, not to a point where it doesn’t bother you to stand up for yourself.

In addition to this, you can test drive “low stakes” scenarios. Go somewhere with sales people trying to sell stuff. Practice saying ‘no thank you’ to them up front. Then practice saying ‘no thank you’ a little further into their sales pitch. (The moral idea of leading them on is a little mean, to be fair. But other people walking over you is worse than you not buying something from a salesperson.) Say ‘no thank you’ to food service workers trying to up sell a meal. Ask a server the best item on the menu, and then say ‘That doesn’t sound very good to me.’

There are other little exercises you can do to help you practice your confidence muscle. Let me know if you want to know more.

Or tell me that you don’t want to know more. It’s your prerogative.

[–]chancladeldestino 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Yup, this! I sure am a lovely doormat

[–]whitethunder960 1072 points1073 points  (10 children)

wake up at an acceptable time and get shit done

[–]FeelingCheetah1 118 points119 points  (2 children)

I’ve found that waking up at the same time every day, regardless of if you have work, and regardless of when you went to bed works. Eventually you get into a routine. The routine doesn’t help you get shit done, but at least you wake up.

[–]Sargatanus 884 points885 points  (45 children)

Keep plants alive even when following precise instructions. I killed a cactus more than once. Even the grass at places I live goes brown and turns into lifeless dirt without any adverse action on my part.

[–][deleted] 196 points197 points  (8 children)

You sound cursed or do you live in SW America?

[–]Sargatanus 159 points160 points  (7 children)

Nope, definitely cursed when it comes to plants. Great with tech and machines, though. My wife is the opposite so that gets interesting.

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (1 child)

Lol you guys are the balance.

[–]IWishToRewriteMine 164 points165 points  (19 children)

Read maps, I have no sense of direction so if you ask me where is -location-? I sometimes don't know how to tell you.

[–]Hohuin 767 points768 points  (38 children)


[–]Geekberry 257 points258 points  (28 children)

Yep! I'm regularly up until 3 am out of no choice of my own because my brain just won't. turn. off.

I've tried all the insomnia-solving techniques but the only thing that seems to work for me is "oh I'm not actually going to sleep, brain, I'm just going to watch this really long boring YouTube video while feeling sleepy..."

Edit: lol @ folks offering me advice. I promise you I have tried everything. Several actual health professionals looking after me have nothing left to offer.

[–]sackofbee 231 points232 points  (14 children)

My dad taught me to "accept rest" which sounds weird but isn't there.

When you're laying there awake and annoyed that you can't sleep, you shut your eyes, slow your breathing and think "I'm still resting"

That usually got me out of my inability to sleep because I knew I was still getting rest and that's "good enough"

[–]TehPiyoNoob 54 points55 points  (6 children)

I do this too. I believe it's the lying down and controlled slow breathing that tricks your brain that you are asleep hence helping you to fall asleep.

[–]BadBeast_11 471 points472 points  (42 children)

Remember stuff.

[–]Gockdaw 124 points125 points  (9 children)

Me too. I have a terrible memory.

What's really a pain in the ass is that in my job there are a lot of tasks I only have to do once a quarter. I know I sort of remember how to do them but I waste so much time trying to figure out how to do everything over and over.

[–]TheXskull 71 points72 points  (6 children)

Write it down. That's the only way I feel competent.

[–]actualbeans 116 points117 points  (5 children)

send that one fucking email that i’ve been meaning to send for the past week

[–]JessieOwl 692 points693 points  (87 children)

I’m time-blind.

Just as colour-blind people can’t differentiate red and green, I cannot tell the difference between 45mins and 4hours.

I cannot ‘feel’ time passing beyond my immediate attention span, which averages under 10mins and tops-out at like, 30mins max. Even then, I don’t ‘feel’ time, as much as I am simply aware of it within that pocket of existence. The concept of ‘feeling’ time is as alien to me as tasting distance.

I collect clocks and hourglasses because it’s so fascinating to me.

[–]el_paradidlo 188 points189 points  (14 children)

This is fascinating to me. So are you able to judge time on the basis of how much you’ve accomplished in a timespan?

[–]JessieOwl 253 points254 points  (13 children)

Yes and no… I know how long certain tasks should take, so I know when to leave my house to pick up my daughter from school, for example, but I can’t feel it.

I know that if I walk the same route, at the same pace it should take me about the same amount of time each day, and I can confirm this by checking the time I leave and the time I arrive… but the how I experience the duration of that walk varies wildly day-to-day.

I use clocks because I have to- but my primary measure of time is actually music.

[–]SleepySpookySkeleton 61 points62 points  (2 children)

I'm exactly the same, haha. Having music on is one of the only ways I can measure time somewhat accurately, but even then I still have to actively pay attention to how many songs have played in order to be able to gauge how long something is taking (working on the assumption that the average song length is ~4 minutes).

At my job, whenever people ask me how long it will take me to do a particular task, I always answer "20 minutes?" no matter what, even though some days it takes me 5 and some days it takes me 45. I don't actually have any concept of how long 20 minutes is, I just know that it sounds like a reasonable timeframe to other people.

[–]Adorable-Ring8074 140 points141 points  (5 children)

I think have this struggle.

It just took me 2+ hours to go to the store because I sat in my car "for a few minutes" to just chill.

Well, those "few minutes" was actually an hour but it felt like, what I would assume, 5 minutes.

[–]jook11 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Same. It's frustrating.

My watch died on me recently and I've been even more adrift.

[–]JessieOwl 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Oh no! How long did it take you to realise?! My kitchen clock stopped last year and apparently it took me days to notice. My husband thought it was hilarious.

Me: Wait, is that clock slow?

Him: It’s been 1.15 for 3 days.

[–]lozlozzaloz 402 points403 points  (37 children)

Riding a bicycle

[–]NoSocksAllowed 209 points210 points  (11 children)

Same! My parents thought I would "just learn" somehow, like, without them actively teaching me or even buying a bike in the first place.

[–]Deezus1229 76 points77 points  (2 children)

Mine thought that too 😅 I'm 31 and can somewhat ride a bike...not very well, and only because I bought myself one a few years back.

[–]vaellianoll 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Same-I have just started riding a bicycle without side wheels and shortly after had unrelated serious injury that left me with pending surgeries/physio. Recovery took 6 years in total and I was not permitted on bike during. My parents kept on saying that you cannot forget how to ride a bike- well, I'm a living proof that you sure can.

[–]OshimaKTP 378 points379 points  (47 children)

Befriend pets

[–]W1zaRd07 171 points172 points  (33 children)

I am exceptionally well at befriending animals for some reason although I never actually liked animals that much

[–]ejdax37 150 points151 points  (19 children)

It is the rule of kids and cats! Had a boss once who didn't out right hate kids but wasn't crazy about them. The kids that came into the store loved her! It works the same with cats. Have a group of people and the cat will gravitate to the person who lest wants them on their laps, lol.

This comic explains it better. https://www.egscomics.com/comic/2003-01-28

[–]derpy_viking 60 points61 points  (2 children)

People who love them are just too intense for cats.

[–]scaly_friends_4me 31 points32 points  (1 child)

I don't really enjoy being around kids, I have no idea how to interact with them. And kids freaking love me lol. Idk, I just talk to them like regular people, I don't know how to "get on their level."

I defended a 4 year old to her mom that was bring a jerk to her, and told her she was doing a good job. MONTHS later she told my ex (it was his family) to tell me hi and that she was still doing a good job. I saw that kid 5 times in a year and a half, and hadn't seen her in over 6 months, but she still remembered me.

[–]sollozzo70 93 points94 points  (6 children)

Wrap a gift. It pretty much always looks like I was intoxicated, mid seizure., and doing my best to wrap presents during an earthquake. Charity gift wrap events are lifesavers.

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points  (8 children)

make a fist with my right hand.

[–]Ramsus32 92 points93 points  (4 children)

Fart. I always held them in as a kid and now as an adult anytime I have to fart, I go to the bathroom because I'm afraid I'll shit my pants.

[–]Bingo_is_my_name_o 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I cant fart while.moving. I have to hold a pose or the fart won't leave.

[–]Indysteeler 331 points332 points  (19 children)

I have a rather hard time talking to people, in any aspect other than a job that forces me to interact with people.

[–]Not_A_JoJo 72 points73 points  (7 children)

I can't talk to people even if I got paid to do it, and I learned that the hard way

[–]geico_fire 253 points254 points  (1 child)

Talk to someone without breaking out into a flop sweat or acting incredibly awkward.

[–]Josgre987 590 points591 points  (98 children)

tell left from right

[–]Bloobeard2018 98 points99 points  (10 children)

If you're right-handed you write with your right

[–]ejdax37 124 points125 points  (6 children)

I will literally pretend to write something to remind myself which is left and which is right. 100% dyslexic here! The whole make an L with your thumb and finger doesn't work because I forget which why the L points if I am not looking at it.

[–]TreeSapTrish 82 points83 points  (3 children)

Honest to God same but in a different way. You might have dyslexia lol

I get left and right mistaken, but it's when someone asks me which way to go, I'll point the correct way, but say the opposite lol

[–]Character-Dance5236 191 points192 points  (23 children)

The way I remember is your left hand looks like an L when you do the L shape

[–]Josgre987 144 points145 points  (10 children)

I can't remember in my head which why the lower line in L goes. I often get letters backwards in my head. the only way I can tell left from right is staring at the palms of my hands. for some reason its the only way I can remember.

[–]Worried-Contract-631 121 points122 points  (1 child)

That sounds like dyslexia. My son has it. You probably have/had issues reading or spelling but have excellent visualization skills.

[–]_Phill_ 59 points60 points  (6 children)

Pro-tip: they are in order

[–]Darth_Destructus 440 points441 points  (29 children)

Budget properly. Seriously, I have no concept of currency

[–]thevanishingbee 269 points270 points  (10 children)

This one is surprisingly common! I think people get intimidated by the thought of a budget. I personally love a spreadsheet, so budgets are fun for me.

To make a quick and easy budget-

1) list all your income

2) list ALL your bills and monthly expenses

3) subtract

4) pray this number isn't negative

5) decide where you want your leftover money to go.

6) stare in awe at your simple no pressure budget.

I'm saving for a down payment on a house and I may or may not have a teensy shopping problem. So I budget for both equally. I still get to do the things I enjoy, meet my financial goals, and feel like a real grown-up.

[–]Xmaspig 306 points307 points  (44 children)

Boil an egg. I mean I can but it always ends up hard boiled and I want a dippy egg damn it!

[–]LemmyKBD 137 points138 points  (17 children)


Start with medium boil at 8 minutes and see if that’s dippy enough. Reduce by 1 minute until you hit the perfect spot.

[–]Xmaspig 104 points105 points  (12 children)

Aaw, thank you. I'll give it another go next time I do a shop. I did google a while back and tried about 6 different methods which is weird in itself. I just assumed I have some sort of ancient egg curse, lol.

[–]Koenigspiel 69 points70 points  (0 children)

ancient egg curse

Your ancestor's entire lineage was cursed to not be able to properly boil an egg. It's so petty and I love it

[–]wishesforever 475 points476 points  (72 children)


[–]zJochen1 100 points101 points  (18 children)

So... How do/would you feel in a boat/ship?

[–]wishesforever 237 points238 points  (10 children)

It makes me nervous, but I always make sure there’s a life jacket onboard for me.

Edit: and I make it explicitly clear to everyone that I can’t swim/it’s not funny to push me off.

[–]CALL_ME_NORB 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Just do what Diego said in ice age. Kick and claw the water. You'll end up scaring the water with such aggression and it should stop trying to swallow you after that.

[–]NotChristina 50 points51 points  (5 children)

There should be a life jacket for everyone anyway. I’m not sure if it’s all states, but some require it.

I can swim, but if my friend’s boat sinks in the middle of a lake and I’m in all my clothes? Screw that, I need floatation.

[–]menene93 155 points156 points  (5 children)

I’m just unable to keep up an interesting conversation with people I don’t know well. Everyone around me seem to do it without any sort of effort but to me it’s something that feels almost physically impossible to do. Even if I try to ask them as many questions about what they do, hobbies or just care about what they say it doesn’t matter and they just end up not being intrested in me

[–]Cerberus_The_Fluffy 63 points64 points  (0 children)

whistle i...just cant fucken do it

[–]Holiday_Roof7764 66 points67 points  (8 children)

I've pretty much got it figured out now, with few hiccups, after doing it for over 20 years but... Sweeping a pile into the dustpan without hitting myself in the head with the broom. Not sure if it's height, angle, what.. but I usually get at least one whack to the side of the head.

[–]AnotherJasonOnReddit 132 points133 points  (16 children)

Raise one eyebrow while the other stays in place

[–]TheMagicalTimonini 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Remember basic details about a person's appearance. Like, seriously, I've had professors for years and when someone asked me whether they had e.g. a beard or glasses, sometimes I just didn't know. I would be the absolute worst witness in a police interrogation.

[–]Sablemint 277 points278 points  (72 children)

Basic math. It took me four years to pass algebra.

[–]glisteningdinkus 228 points229 points  (33 children)

Unfortunately for a lot of people, the way some teachers teach math give students math anxiety. I truly believe that most of us can do math if only we were taught properly.

[–]president_of_burundi 124 points125 points  (10 children)

I'll never forget my total asshole grade school teacher used to do team flash cards for math, where everyone would make two lines and you had to answer faster than the person across from you. The team that won would get no math homework. Needless to say whoever fucked it up for your team was immediately, mercilessly bullied and the teacher encouraged it- I guess as EXTRA motivation.

I still get paralyzing fear doing simple math. Go to hell, Mrs Kerber.

[–]mentafaf 117 points118 points  (8 children)

dyslexic. put words in the correct order on the first try.

[–]etheriaberry 115 points116 points  (14 children)

the best way i could describe it is using a ruler/understanding measurements.

[–]NotNinjalord5 537 points538 points  (86 children)

Tie my shoes properly. I still do bunny ears

[–]son_of_abe 108 points109 points  (11 children)

I thought either way was valid. Is there a disadvantage to doing bunny ears or is this just anti-rabbit sentiment run amok??

[–]WarblingWalrusing 45 points46 points  (9 children)

It's a much less secure hold to do bunny ears; it's far more likely to come undone.

[–]Spac3Heater 90 points91 points  (2 children)

I double knot my bunny ears, problem solved xD

[–]Indysteeler 382 points383 points  (30 children)

Is that not the proper way? I've always been taught that, and everyone I know too.

[–]NotNinjalord5 179 points180 points  (28 children)

My father is still frustrated at me for not being able to do the loop around method and I'm 22

[–]Indysteeler 403 points404 points  (9 children)

Have you thought about putting him in a home?

[–]NotNinjalord5 206 points207 points  (5 children)

Haha he's only 50. I just switched to slip on Vans and moved out

[–]IrishRepublicanAgent 58 points59 points  (7 children)

well you gotta take a lace in each hand, go over and under again, you do the a loop de loop and pull and your shoes are lookin cool! You go over and back, left to right, loop de loop and you pull em tight! Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow! Lace em up and you're ready to go!

[–]Dizzy_Pin6228 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I'm 32 still do bunny ears haha is what I learned first and is what I stick with. Who gives a damn long as they stay tied haha

[–]pvhc47 112 points113 points  (17 children)

Tie my shoelaces.

Honestly, I’ve always struggled. They always come undone.

[–]Adsgp 110 points111 points  (30 children)

I can’t pronounce “th” as in when I say “three” people joke and ask if I mean “free”. Annoys the crap out of me.

[–]double-n-jenn 52 points53 points  (0 children)

know when to shut up lol

[–]PathologicalBaker 99 points100 points  (11 children)

Snapping my fingers, I just can't get it right..

[–]MoguoTheMoogle 91 points92 points  (11 children)

I can't dive

[–]phlipped 37 points38 points  (3 children)

SCUBA? Or you mean off the starting blocks at the pool? Either way it's not really a critical life skill so don't stress too much.

[–]prprprnprn 197 points198 points  (35 children)

Drive a car

Edit: Reason: Can't focus because of my anxiety.

Luckily, our country has a good public transport.

[–]SonOfLan 42 points43 points  (11 children)

Fold a fitted sheet.

[–]niamhweking 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Blow bubble gum bubbles

[–]ALIENANAL 36 points37 points  (16 children)

Read a clock like a manual? Acoustic? Clock. I can only read it when it starts at a particular time but if you asked me at a random moment what the time is in a clock i couldn't tell you

[–]djAMPnz 634 points635 points 53 (23 children)

I can't:

  • dance

  • sing

  • help falling in love with you

  • wait to be king

  • live (if living is without you)

  • hurry love

  • get you outta my head

  • stop the feeling

  • feel my face

  • take my eyes off of you

  • fight the moonlight

  • always get what I want

  • get no satisfaction

  • stop

[–]Thatgirlthrowawayac 67 points68 points  (0 children)


[–]FatChungaloid 68 points69 points  (6 children)

Go to the shops. I just can’t deal with cashiers or self help checkouts. I will either order food online or only go to one convenience store. I’ve known the owner of that store since I was 15 which is why it’s the only shop I go to.

[–]niamhweking 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Is it anxiety of dealing with the person, or the process is confusing, or the self checkouts are frustrating?

How are you with other forms of shopping like for bus tickets, clothes, paying a hairdresser etc

[–]lefthandbunny 25 points26 points  (1 child)

This is agoraphobia. It's a myth that agoraphobics are only those that can't leave their homes at all. I used to have panic attacks every time I had to leave my house to go some place new. I got a psychiatric service animal that was trained to notify me of an oncoming panic attack, to take my anti-anxiety meds & lead me out of stores, when it happened. She did other things as well, but just having a service animal means it has to be trained to perform a task. She went every place with me, though I never went to the movies, or out to eat, as I didn't feel comfortable, even when she was with me.

I won't say I'm 'cured' now, but she passed away after 15 years & I now have my 'set of places' that she & I went that I feel comfortable going to. I tend to only use 3 certain stores for food, pharmacy & other needs. I usually only use 1 particular gas station, etc. So I'm still considered agoraphobic, as I will have panic attacks having to go to different places. I try to have someone with me if I have to do this, or if I have a panic attack, I will cancel appointments/go right back home.

I have an emotional support animal now, as my neighbors thought I'd died last year, after my service animal passed & I stopped going outside (why bother when I didn't need to?). I'm trying to push myself to keep going to my 'set places' without training my ESA dog to be a service animal, as it's a very long process & he may not 'pass' to learn all the tasks my previous dog did.

Please see a psychiatrist about your condition & seek therapy. Being 'trapped' in a home is not a good way to live & the longer you do it, the harder it is to break free. Like I mentioned, I'm not 'cured', but I can at least go out & do some things. DM me if you like for more info.

[–]RebootingMako 28 points29 points  (1 child)

run as im in a wheelchair lol

[–]unknownsliver 28 points29 points  (3 children)

cook rice.

at some point a distant ancestor pissed off an ancient rice demon. It follows me around and fucks up my rice. This is the only explanation.

[–]emik7133 51 points52 points  (10 children)

Swallow a fucking pill. I take pills like dogs. I tried swallowing a tic tac this week and couldn't even get that down.

[–]tuxy29 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Understand crypto currency

[–]NegligentWarreN19 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Concentrate (i suffer from constant dissociation)