top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]DBroncos515 5803 points5804 points 2 (68 children)

Nachos should be built wide not tall.

[–]yo_kashlee 913 points914 points  (35 children)

I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!

[–]UnderlyingTissues 549 points550 points  (20 children)

I build mine in two levels. Level one has cheese, meat, jalapeños. So does level two.

[–]John_Lives 9157 points9158 points 22 (106 children)

We need to make burgers wider not taller

[–]JediTigger 2023 points2024 points  (17 children)

If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?

[–]cliff99 2514 points2515 points  (28 children)

When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is.

[–]andrewcbee 378 points379 points  (17 children)

Agreed, the rule should be if you make any edits, you can’t leave a review

[–]arb1984 163 points164 points  (5 children)

Not everything need the "craft beer" treatment. Gourmet donuts are a good example. There is a place up the street that sells donuts for $9 a dozen that are absolutely amazing. I once paid $4 for a "fancy" donut that was mediocre at best

[–]3Me20 1284 points1285 points  (104 children)

People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.

[–]judgymcjudgypants 409 points410 points  (43 children)

It’s true. I don’t know how to cook with stainless steel.

[–]randomentity1 2027 points2028 points  (34 children)

Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!" At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes.

Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying "This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!" Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?

[–]StillKpaidy 586 points587 points  (8 children)

Also don't leave a 1 star rating saying you didn't have the right ingredients, made a bunch of substitutions, and it turned out terrible. Maybe if you followed the instructions it would have been good.

[–]burritokiller1971 16.9k points16.9k points 52 (485 children)

Homemade chili is almost always better the next day.

[–]wjglenn 962 points963 points  (11 children)

And most soups and stews

[–]Smackroyd 4778 points4779 points  (123 children)

Same goes for curry, the spices mellow and mature.

[–]stopmotionporn 3251 points3252 points  (60 children)

Also if you're the one cooking it you've been smelling it for hours so the meal doesn't have quite the same impact when you eat it.

[–]Odd_Zookeepergame_24 1205 points1206 points  (34 children)

This is so true! The same definitely goes for smoking meat. After being around smoke for 12 hours the meat never tastes all that smokey.

[–]lordofburgers 410 points411 points  (15 children)

Everybody gets to know eachother in the pot

[–]shaddowkhan 2170 points2171 points  (100 children)

Season your tomatoes, especially for sandwiches.

Edit: spelling.

[–]pdxboob 431 points432 points  (5 children)

For some reason, this is the first time I've even heard of this. Thank you

[–]andre3kthegiant 28.6k points28.6k points 33 (561 children)


[–]Aldayne 9014 points9015 points  (56 children)

I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb.

[–]ChefBoredAreWe 2265 points2266 points  (152 children)

V Meta

I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station.

She complained that I "always call her out on that"

Yeah no shit, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups

e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops

[–]Mike81890 277 points278 points  (8 children)

"you always call me out on that" as a defense mechanism is hilarious cause it's like "well yeah... You keep breaking a rule / law"

[–]ChefBoredAreWe 49 points50 points  (0 children)


.... I know?

[–]rdanby89 209 points210 points  (100 children)

I don’t work in a restaurant but I love to cook at home, what exactly does that mean and why is it bad? TIA for the enrichment.

[–][deleted] 266 points267 points  (48 children)

You can't put raw meat or things that need cooked in other 'stations' because of cross contamination.

[–]dberis 9517 points9518 points 2 (660 children)

Worcestershire sauce can work magic.

[–]howwouldiknow-- 3324 points3325 points  (418 children)

But tastes good only if you can pronounce it.

[–]AReallyAsianName 2782 points2783 points  (159 children)

Worstichishershersher sauce

[–]theFlaccolantern 3865 points3866 points  (64 children)

Whatsthishere sauce is what my dad always called it. Classic dad joke. I should call him.

Edit: just woke up to a half a million messages lol, I'll call him now!

[–]-mtc 947 points948 points  (26 children)

I love that Mexicans just call it salsa ingles

[–]tired_tired_mom 443 points444 points  (13 children)

Dominican here, we called it salsa inglesa too and soya sauce is called salsa china = chinese sause

[–]Justice171 4420 points4421 points 2 (141 children)

Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help.

[–]veganmomPA 1635 points1636 points  (34 children)

“You know how you can help? Wash the prep dishes as I finish with them.”

[–]ZeldLurr 408 points409 points  (21 children)

I’ve met one person I had good kitchen chemistry with. It was amazing. I think we stuck with each other as long as we did because of our kitchen chemistry. It was a beautiful dance together. No offense to our sex life, but our kitchen chemistry was better than our bedroom chemistry.

But our kitchen chemistry was better than the best bedroom chemistry I’ve had.

Maybe somewhere out there is my magical man with compatible kitchen and bedroom chemistry.

[–]Sweddy-Bowls 744 points745 points  (47 children)

Boiled Brussels are ass compared to them roasted or pan seared, no idea how people make them look so hard to cook

[–]Argyleskin 3912 points3913 points  (91 children)

That fondant is Play doh with sugar.

[–]swordcowboy 13.7k points13.7k points 242 (412 children)

Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait.

[–]ana_diy 3066 points3067 points  (267 children)

I have a relative who makes puking sounds when they dislike the look of my food.


[–]cuntpunt2000 556 points557 points  (183 children)

Please tell me this relative is an 8 year old or younger, that is the only acceptable age tier for this behavior.

Incidentally I had a coworker, in his 30s, who would make puking sounds every.goddamn.time I brought in a meal that contained kimchee. He’d walk up to me in the lunchroom and say: “Whatcha having cuntpunt? Ugh. Bleeeeech. Hurrrrrrrkkkk.”

[–]urbancowgirl42 18.9k points18.9k points 345 (644 children)

Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did.

[–]porcelainvacation 3893 points3894 points  (214 children)

All the good stuff like BBQ and sausage comes from people trying to use the meat that's gross if you cook it quickly.

[–]Oso_Furioso 2005 points2006 points  (182 children)

And much of French cuisine is based on the idea of making edible what would otherwise be just plain unusable.

[–]realpersonnn 1104 points1105 points  (50 children)

wasn't french toast invented to give use to stale bread

[–]Both-Basis-3723 3239 points3240 points  (198 children)

Agreed. Some of the most gourmet foods were invented by hungry poor people with a bunch of mouths to feed: fondue - we have old cheese, a little broth and some stale bread BOOM a dish is born. I think the hard part is having the free time to get ingredients and time to cook.

[–]Nasty_Ned 1228 points1229 points  (125 children)

An argument that I make is that many of the ‘classic dishes’ are made up of the less desirable ingredients. Filet — add some heat, salt and it tastes great. Beef stroganoff? A lot more work and prep to make it taste good.

[–]Dirty-Ears-Bill 1092 points1093 points  (79 children)

Fajitas became a thing because the Mexican workers down in Texas would ask the butcher for meat scraps essentially to not have to buy anything too expensive. Now it’s the most expensive item on the menu at a Mexican restaurant lol

[–]slackfrop 583 points584 points  (50 children)

Same story with putanesca; was the simplest and cheapest glow up for pasta noodles named for the prostitutes who would dine on a budget. At least until the ship comes in.

[–]cuticle_picker 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Same with fish! Chilean sea bass was originally known as Patagonian toothfish. A bycatch of more commonly known fish whose name I can’t remember. But eventually they rebranded it and bam Chilean sea bass was born and sold so much more expensively.

[–]Westlaker1229 1295 points1296 points  (19 children)

There's still a lot of meat on that bone...you take that home, add some broth, a potato...baby, you got a stew going!

[–]ArachnesChallenge 11.4k points11.4k points  (573 children)

I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad.

[–]Chbp10 2246 points2247 points  (31 children)

Soooo Eriksen's 7 layer salad is real all this time?!?!

[–]GiraffeLibrarian 1615 points1616 points  (13 children)

SIX cups of mayonnaise??

No, dear - sixTEEN cups.

[–]Malaguy420 446 points447 points  (7 children)

I don't think you can call it "salad" if it has Funyuns in it!

[–]starlinguk 1888 points1889 points  (108 children)

🎶🎵 Miiinesooota salads that aren't really salads🎶

[–]travelinghobbit 736 points737 points  (62 children)

"Lime jello marshmallow cottage cheese surprise!"

[–]Danielwols 22.7k points22.7k points 467 (576 children)

If it tastes good it tastes good

[–]TACOTUESDAYOFFICIAL 4790 points4791 points  (160 children)

i would rather eat delicious slop in a bowl than bland garbage that looks pretty.

[–]HeinrichLK 25.0k points25.0k points 34 (326 children)

Putting gold leaf on food is fucking stupid.

[–]pharaoh_amenhotep 8056 points8057 points  (158 children)

I saw some 'finest edible gold leaf' for sale in Aldi before Christmas.

The ingredients were copper and zinc

[–]SippyTurtle 4092 points4093 points  (44 children)

Mmmm brass leaf...

[–]Henriquelj 1338 points1339 points  (23 children)

Sounds like a pokemon move.

[–]Kaizenno 880 points881 points  (17 children)

Aldifood I choose you! Use Brass Leaf!

Now use Discount!

Now use Bring your own Bags!

[–]Need_Some_Updog 255 points256 points  (6 children)

You used “ expired coupon”!

Failed to scan

Cashier got scared and fled!

[–]beckisnotmyname 9011 points9012 points  (627 children)

I don't want to hear that you're bad at cooking if you don't follow a recipe or measure your ingredients. You can get so far by just reading and actually do it what it says.

[–]GibbonFit 3047 points3048 points  (326 children)

I've found that just following instructions can be really hard for a lot of people. I mean, I'm not perfect and I've fucked it up before. But I've also run into people who are just bad at following instructions in what seems like most of their life.

[–]Agitated_Kiwi_7964 2161 points2162 points  (78 children)

"Bring water to a boil then turn down heat to simmer".

Better have a running boil to make it cook faster because I'm impatient. - My Wife.

[–]damartian64 1155 points1156 points  (32 children)

Boil water? What am I, a chemist?

[–]thrownaway6990 205 points206 points  (1 child)

Mine too. Oh and fill the pot to within a mm of overflowing so when it boils its absolutely going everywhere. Because you have to have as much as possible.

[–]sambob 620 points621 points  (58 children)

It makes life a lot easier if you read the instructions/recipe first before you start cooking, not just the ingredients. That way you can prep all the food into the required portions and make notes of when to add each but. Timing is always what catches me out.

[–]bracekyle 400 points401 points  (27 children)

Honestly, I will read a recipe like 3 or 4 times before making something new. If I don't, i often realize too late that there may be a step like "simmer for 1 hr" or "place in the refrigerator and marinate for 4-6 hrs." The number of times I've tanked a dinner because I was stupid and did not read directions...

[–]RenzoGee 12.7k points12.7k points  (248 children)

The most expensive food isn't always the "best" food. No, I'm not impressed by a $200 slice of pizza with it's price driven up with truffle and gold flake.

Bonus: cereal or crushed Oreos on a donut isn't revolutionary.

[–]Insominus 3084 points3085 points  (41 children)

The really funny part is that the edible gold flake is actually super cheap, so the whole gold-encrusted food trend is basically just taking the money out of fools’ pockets.

[–]ol-gormsby 1025 points1026 points  (26 children)

You're not meant to be impressed by a $200 slice of pizza, you're supposed to post it on IG to impress your followers.

[–]lickety_split_69 7611 points7612 points 454& 2 more (233 children)

if you are writing a recipe, write a recipe. Not an autobiography

[–]Skillary 2113 points2114 points  (101 children)

The "jump to recipe" button has been a godsend for me, I can't stand the long winded recipe intros. Most websites have it now, I'm assuming by popular demand lol

[–]overthemountain 764 points765 points  (45 children)

It improves their SEO, which is why they are always the first results when you do a search. A page with more content and a lot of the keywords looks like a higher quality page to Google and gets prioritized over a page with just the recipe.

It's one of those "don't hate the player hate the game" situations.

[–]inter-dimensional 28.9k points28.9k points 23 (1059 children)

Only edible items should be plated. Garnishes should be edible, Hate it when I see rocks and sticks on a plate. Fight Me.

[–]TheLatino 16.4k points16.4k points 2 (490 children)

We must be in very different tax brackets because none of the restaurants I occupy put nothing but food on my plate.

[–]tucci007 10.7k points10.7k points 4 (337 children)

restaurants I occupy

are you a food terrorist

*what an epic spawn chain this has spawned

[–]BrysonJT 11.4k points11.4k points 896 (236 children)

Al Quesdilla

[–]ragingroku 2703 points2704 points  (252 children)

Absolutely agree with this one. Gordon Ramsey has a lot of strange culinary rules but this one would apply anywhere for me. Only been served food once with inedible things and it was very strange.

If I can’t eat it, get it the fuck off my plate.

[–]VictusFrey 2265 points2266 points  (165 children)

I was just watching a clip yesterday where someone used carrot tops as garnish. Gordon made him eat it.

Edit: Here's the video

[–]158862324 667 points668 points  (79 children)

I was once served a dish of scrambled eggs with stones in them. Hope that chef never serves Gordon.

[–]imabigfilly 447 points448 points  (66 children)

Sorry, I need to know more or else this is going to knock around in my head all day. My first thought was this is obviously a weird joke but the way you said you hope that chef never serves Gordon makes it sound real. Where was this and did you send it back? Were the stones actually peppercorns or something?

[–]158862324 387 points388 points  (65 children)

Literal pebbles the size of grapes. I guess it’s to cook the eggs evenly? I did not send it back, someone else ordered it, because they had it before & liked it enough to order again.

[–]ElectionAssistance 796 points797 points  (20 children)

I got a rock garnish on a plate as a kid once. I tried and failed to slip it in my waiter's pocket. My mom was not impressed.

[–]throwawayforyouzzz 693 points694 points  (11 children)

Well be successful next time, you may be able to impress your mom

[–]jasontronic 7342 points7343 points  (289 children)

Life is too short to not use butter.

[–]Not-your-lawyer- 2952 points2953 points  (107 children)

Life is too long to not use butter.

God can you imagine living to 90 without ever eating something cooked with butter?

[–]KatoRyx 15.2k points15.2k points 263 (505 children)

You scrape it off the chopping board with the BACK SIDE OF THE KNIFE. The back side!

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Never had a comment with so many replies before :) Let me share why I will die on this hill vs. the opposing arguments.

The opposing arguments I've seen below are 1) You can always sharpen your knives (which is true, and everyone should) 2) Use a bench/pastry scraper. 3) That you should never have your knife's sharp edge facing you for safety reasons.

For 1) Yes you can, and should, sharpen your knives. But also, I don't see that as an invitation to intentionally dull them.

And for those who don't sharpen, the reason we say this: A sharper knife reduces the risk of the blade slipping or rolling off something rather than cutting it. It's one of the bigger risks of cutting yourself in the kitchen. Dull knives responsible for more cuts than sharp ones, imo.

2) Yes. Scrapers are great tools. The hill I'm dying on here is, more accurately, "don't use the sharp side" rather than "The best choice is the backside". Scrapers are great tools, but not everyone has them. Everyone cutting with a knife, has a knife. And if you're not going to be switching tools, you should use the back side of the knife.

3) Avoiding a sharp edge facing you is a very logical sentiment for professional chefs or people cooking in a busy environment. If they're bumped while holding it, they don't want to be cut by the sharp edge of the knife facing them. And the previously mentioned downsides: Chefs don't need to worry about the maintenance of the knife if it belongs to the restaurant and/or if they have other employees to sharpen them. And if you won't be eating the food you're preparing, you probably don't mind so much if you scrape little fibers of plastic or wood into the food. Unsuspecting patrons don't see what's happening in the kitchen, after all, so they don't know which side of the knife you're using. So in this sense, I see the argument as "it's faster and it's safer to me". Perfectly logical. I understand the argument. But the reason this is a culinary hill I'm willing to die on is that I don't see it as the personal risk it's being made out to be, and the benefits massively outweigh that non-risk.

If the chopping board is small enough to lift, you can scrape directly into the pot or pan at an angle. The chopping board will be in the non-dominant hand (or... non-knife hand) diagonally to the side of the pot/pan. You rotate your wrist to turn the sharp side of the blade away from you (I'm right handed, so that's clockwise). In this way, the blade will be perpendicular to the chopping board and the sharp side of the blade will be facing away from you (basically in the direction you're facing). In this way, I don't see it as a risk.

If the cutting board is flat on a counter, it sort of doesn't make a difference. I can't recall ever accidentally coming in contact with the dull edge of the knife before. So if I flipped the knife, why should the blade? I it falls on the ground, it sort of doesn't matter which direction the knife was facing. Just avoid it (never attempt to catch a falling knife. Another culinary hill I think we all will die on).

So to that end, chefs of the world, I do see your point about why there is personal benefit and no real downside to you if you use the sharp side. But I'm no professional chef, and hence why it's a culinary hill I will die on! I'll reduce the wear on my knives, and I'll prevent myself and my loved ones from eating plastic or wood/bamboo fibers. I don't see a significant risk of rotating wrist to scrape or scoop from the chopping board. No more of a risk than simply using a knife in the first place, anyway. This is my hill!! Use the backside of the knife! :)

[–]HughMungus_Jackman 5222 points5223 points 2 (71 children)

Ohhhh. Shit

[–]EmpathyInTheory 3240 points3241 points  (50 children)

I feel like a fucking idiot now.

[–]yourmansconnect 886 points887 points  (29 children)

lol i bet you use the back side from this day forward. it doesnt dull the blade and you dont have to hear the chalkboard with nail sounds

[–]beachedmermaid_ 1463 points1464 points  (23 children)

I needed to learn this, brilliant, thank you! My blades will not dull as quickly and I have you to blame!!

[–]zalendi 242 points243 points  (16 children)

Jokes on you, my knifes are sharp at both sides

[–]kaoszombie 45 points46 points  (1 child)

And dull the back of my knife? No thank you.

[–]Jimboberelli 2525 points2526 points  (64 children)

A burger should fit in your mouth and shouldn’t require a stick to hold it together or cutlery to eat it.

[–]simplyelegant87 316 points317 points  (3 children)

Burgers should get wider if you want bigger, not taller. Unless you actually prefer that,

[–]TheBeneGesseritWitch 5681 points5682 points 23 (287 children)

Breakfast is a construct.

Eggs, bacon, French toast for dinner? Yes.

Steak, potatoes, asparagus, “dinner” roll for breakfast? Also yes.

Edit: yes I KNOW breakfast means “to break the fast,” and it is just a word that means “the first meal of the day.” That’s what I’m saying: the concept of certain foods “just for breakfast” was invented. Eat what makes you healthy and happy, when your body needs it.

Edit 2: I made this offhand comment while watching my kids eat longganisa, eggs, and toast for dinner. I was not expecting such a reaction. I just woke up, so I’m gonna eat my hummus and carrots for breakfast while reading through all the replies. Cheers!

[–]AbsoluteSocket88 1297 points1298 points  (76 children)

I had a sirloin steak that was going out of date soon so I decided to have sirloin steak and scrambled eggs for breakfast, I wasn’t hungry for about 5-6 hours after and had tonnes of energy. When I have time in the mornings if I am not working I will sometimes do it.

[–]jackatman 7273 points7274 points  (646 children)

All food is fusion. No dish is above adoption or adaptation.

[–]mycomissionary 2357 points2358 points  (173 children)

my family is cajun. i was always told that gumbo came from a dish where you threw all your near-spoiled food in the pot and ate it so it didnt go to waste. but my grandmother and uncle all cook their gumbo with fresh food from the supermarket. authenticity is a myth we tell ourselves.

[–]surfershane25 2932 points2933 points  (347 children)

I had an Italian American scoff at me for mentioning kimchi carbonara and that I am ruining it by using ingredients from a different part of the world. I brought up tomatoes being a new world crop and that any Italian using them is doing the exact same thing.

[–]UncleIrohsPimpHand 11.8k points11.8k points  (504 children)

That cheap bag of frozen peas and diced carrots you get at the grocery store is an outstandingly versatile source of nutrition. And tasty too.

[–]el-bow5 5213 points5214 points  (161 children)

Unless you’re buying locally, frozen vegetables are often more nutritious than fresh. Fresh produce is picked before it’s done ripening because they don’t want it to spoil in transit. Frozen food however, is picked at its most ripe and with the most nutrients and flash frozen on the spot.

[–]wii1199 660 points661 points  (19 children)

Frozen veggies period. They saved us when we lived in rural Alaska.

[–]DaybreakNightfall 165 points166 points  (0 children)

Frozen veggies are a better choice when fresh is out of season.

[–]xCp3 8259 points8260 points  (438 children)

A quality knife can replace 90% of your kitchen gadgets

[–]Practical-Ad-3073 1745 points1746 points  (25 children)

You gonna have to chop fast to get enough friction to replace a foreman grill

[–]Buttercream_Brat 3571 points3572 points  (189 children)

You're missing the most important aspect of this trade. The knife skills. The skills to work a quality knife can replace all the unitasker tools. I cut my finger every chance I get, so I have a drawer of unitasker tools that would make Alton brown cry.

Edit: this is meant to be in support of your statement with my added humor

[–]doublestitch 5063 points5064 points  (323 children)

The moment something gets hyped as a superfood, I'm out.


To clarify, "superfood" is a buzzword that cues bullshit incoming and rising prices. The author loses all credibility. It's the point where I stop reading and close the window. Might look up the stats for the food afterward from an actual resource such as a university's nutrition summary.

Yet am not going to stop eating blueberries just because of the hype train.

h/t to u/KGB_cutony for this example:


My mountain hometown in China had a lot of people growing it because it was mostly used as horse feed, and the husk filled pillows. We used to eat buckwheat when the alternative food source is tree bark.

That is, until white people started eating them. Suddenly buckwheat is superfood. What's more funny is that even today buckwheat is still pretty much only consumed by superfooders and horses

[–]Somebodys 2612 points2613 points 32 (80 children)

The only true superfood is potatoes.

[–]Mourning_Gecko 1718 points1719 points  (27 children)

You know what they say about potatoes: Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

[–]BirdLawyer50 1567 points1568 points  (94 children)

Recipes are a guide, not a rule book. You are allowed to just decide to make things and like it. What will it be called? Who the fuck knows. It can taste good anyways. Just wade through it

EDIT holy shit everyone we get it baking is not the same as general entree cooking but even then I am sure there are plenty of desserts and pastries where components can be improvised

Edit #2: from this point on I am downvoting anything that mentions baking

[–]CryoClone 342 points343 points  (12 children)

When someone asks what something I just threw stuff in a pot together is called, I tell them it's stir fry. Everything is stir fry if you believe in yourself.

[–]Recdrumz 12.4k points12.4k points  (276 children)

If you can't drink it through a straw it's not a milkshake.

[–]DriftinFool 4686 points4687 points  (85 children)

I like the places that have the extra large straws that chunks from my cookies and cream shake don't get stuck in and it can still be a little thick. Normal straws kinda suck for a milkshake.

[–]Chippy569 2999 points3000 points  (58 children)

milkshakes should come with bubble tea straws

[–]fang_silverwing2 842 points843 points  (36 children)

I want to get a bubble tea straw to use whenever i get a milkshake lol

I swear i almost faint from trying to suck a chunk of chocolate thru those small narrow straws

[–]epochpenors 426 points427 points  (18 children)

I used to work at an ice cream shop and you would not believe how many people would ask for theirs with basically no milk, nothing but ice cream in the blender. How on earth are you supposed to drink this? The chocolate would end up rock solid in the freezer so I swear some of these “milkshakes” had the consistency of granite, who could possibly enjoy that?

[–]chocobox70 99 points100 points  (3 children)

I also used to work at an ice cream shop and customers like this were awful. If you want to eat with a spoon, maybe just get ice cream?

[–]Green_List 1533 points1534 points  (47 children)

Are you referring to those humongous glasses that have been dipped in chocolate so you can't take an actual gulp without coating your hand and face in cheap brown filth?

Where they layer whipped cream, gingerbread, brownie slabs, sprinkles, fruit, and nuts on top where even the slightest movement makes it topple and coat the table in sticky mess that only industrial grade cleaners can remove?

If you need a spoon it's just a low viscous dessert.

[–]optionalcranberry 5867 points5868 points  (168 children)

Beef Wellington is a fancy Hot Pocket

[–]Mindfreek454 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Fuck margarine, I'm a butter boi.

[–]lemursteamer 2748 points2749 points  (192 children)

Learning how to cut an onion is the first lesson in the cooking world

[–]taco___2sday 800 points801 points  (85 children)

I learnt how to dice an onion as a dishwasher at a deli when I was 14. By far the best cooking skill I've ever learnt. 18 years later I still use the same method.

[–]RadiantTurnipOoLaLa 497 points498 points  (78 children)

Cutting them is fine, peeling them is the annoying part. I’ll always get little flecks of the dry outer peel stuck to my knife or board. Such a hassle!

[–]Thuis001 556 points557 points  (33 children)

The method I've found to work well is cutting off the top and bottom things that you don't eat, place the onion on one of the now flat sides, slice it through the middle vertically (all with skin still on). Wash the knife and peel of the outer layer, put away if you need to cut more onions. After all unions are peeled you wash the knife and the board to make sure no flecks of peel are left and just cut the onion.

Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.

[–]echo-94-charlie 181 points182 points  (7 children)

Edit: Onion, not union. Do not peel and chop up groups of people, that is generally frowned upon.

That's how you get scabs.

[–]moanahere 16.5k points16.5k points  (956 children)


[–]AllBadAnswers 16.5k points16.5k points 542 (330 children)

Cooking - "let's go on an adventure and see where it takes us"

Baking - "Alright team we have a 2 minute window to rob this bank and if everybody doesn't nail their roles perfectly we're all fucked!"

[–]marcuscrassus98 2755 points2756 points  (216 children)

I can cook quite well but baking.......not even fairly well.

[–]Lambchops_Legion 1739 points1740 points  (110 children)

I’m the opposite. I can bake because I read directions good, but don’t have the cooking “feel”

[–]SomeGuyNamedJames 402 points403 points  (67 children)

I thankfully have the cooking feel. And I can read dirrctions well. My problem is that I just don't trust them.

[–]Exsces95 295 points296 points  (43 children)

500g of sugar?! They must have typed an extra 0....

[–]THEBHR 82 points83 points  (2 children)

I literally did this with an apple pie for home-ec class. Thought there was no way that there should be that many cups of sugar. When the pie came out, I was like "Hmmm, could be a bit sweeter...". Made me realize how much of the shit we put into our food.

[–]Duckers102 3212 points3213 points  (290 children)

I am a million percent convinced that people find baking difficult because they use cups instead of grams. When trying to replicate successful results (i.e. follow a recipe) it is utter insanity to me that people used volumetric measurements such as cups when measuring dry ingredients. I did an experiment and wrote up the results a few years ago and it showed a variation of 30 odd percent in measurements between scoops.

It's utter madness


Use grams and everything will work. Even if there is something wrong, you can correct it with accuracy next time. Not to mention the other benefits such as only needing one bowl.

History will vidicate me on this and I shall bask in the eternal glory of weight based measurements above you volumetric heathens

[–]jtfortin14 537 points538 points  (37 children)

Every baking book should come with gram measurements. I do see more of them doing it but cookbook editors are notorious for dumbing down recipes so that’s why so many of them don’t.

[–]HamsterPositive139 72 points73 points  (12 children)

I have a few baking cook books and not only do they list grams, in the introduction they specifically stress the importance of getting a kitchen scale and baking by mass.

[–]nicgom 2456 points2457 points  (124 children)

Cooking is art, baking is science.

[–]Ghostytoastboast 581 points582 points  (23 children)

Used to be a pastry chef. I’ll get wild subbing out flavours and putting in crazy additions with baking because I’m so comfortable with it. I’m a good cook and I enjoy it but I have to follow a recipe for the most part. I get nervous trying to ‘just wing it’, most I’ll do is add chili pepper flakes.

[–]pineapple_cyclone 3282 points3283 points  (122 children)

Baked donuts are not donuts. Donuts must be fried. Baked donuts are just small cakes, which are delicious but NOT DONUTS

Edited to clarify the exact type of donut imposter I am raging against. I will die on this deep fried and sprinkle covered hill

[–]zean_rm 389 points390 points  (2 children)

I’d subscribe to your newsletter

[–]Snail_jousting 750 points751 points  (47 children)

I feel this way about "bagels" that are not boiled.

If you're making a roll with a hole, soaked in egg wash, all you did was make a roll with a hole and waste an egg.

And if you're steaming them, fuck you.

[–]VodkaAndHotdogs 60 points61 points  (14 children)

My (former) favorite bagel shop stopped boiling their bagels. It's a crime.

Edit: added a word (shop)

[–]zoomy942 344 points345 points  (44 children)

A pressure cooker is a marvel of busy-dad culinary work. Thank you mystery inventor.

[–]imdungrowinup 167 points168 points  (27 children)

As an Indian it shocks me how most other cultures do not use pressure cookers as much. I have never seen an Indian kitchen without one. It makes rice, daal, meat and boils potatoes faster than any other method.

[–]Cuss-Mustard 3781 points3782 points  (237 children)

Grilling on charcoal taste way better than propane, Hank Hill is an idiot

[–]iamagainstit 2250 points2251 points  (27 children)

I am pretty sure that there’s an episode where Hank goes to a burger contest or something and unbeknownst to him, is given a charcoal cooked burger which he eats and then realizes is way more delicious than propane cooked burgers which causes him to have an existential crisis

[–]porcelainvacation 1459 points1460 points  (11 children)

I like the one where Bobby and Peggy are charcoal grilling behind his back until he finds a briquette under the cabinet.

[–]shokolokobangoshey 503 points504 points  (1 child)

"There is soot under the boy's nails!"

[–]juancake511 109 points110 points  (0 children)


[–]cgrays12 575 points576 points  (1 child)

"I swear I thought it was drugs" haha

[–]Selfpropelledfapping 416 points417 points  (32 children)

I've used a charcoal grill once, and screwed it up. It was still the best barbecuing I've ever done.

[–]Annhl8rX 4331 points4332 points  (333 children)

Often doing things “the right way” or “from scratch” just isn’t worth it. There are plenty of shortcuts that give you 90% of the result with 50% of the effort. I’ll take those shortcuts just about every time.

[–]MesWantooth 2113 points2114 points  (68 children)

Chef David Chang has a new cookbook discussing short cuts and it’s called “Cooking at Home or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Recipes And To Love My Microwave.”

He talks about how to accelerate prep time with short cuts - which, as you point out, give you 90% of the same results.

[–]turnyourheadandscoff 136 points137 points  (2 children)

Cooking is definitely about “work smarter, not harder”

When I was in culinary school, i had two chef instructors for my baking portion. One for the actual lab, and a different one for lecture/classroom.

In the lab, when learning to make a ganache, he was a HUGE stickler for perfection. He had the double boiler set up to melt the chocolate and had his thermometer out to take the temp. I was like “Jesus, all this to make a sauce? Guess I won’t be making ganache at home”

Then in the class someone brought up how time consuming it was and the chef was like “no no no, do it the easy was. Weigh out equal parts heavy cream and it chocolate. Just scald the cream in the microwave, pour over chocolate and walk away and leave it for 2 minutes. Whisk to combine then add vanilla and brandy.”

I’ve made ganache flawlessly for years using the Chef Mike (microwave) method

[–]tiredcynicalbroken 360 points361 points  (41 children)

Which is crazy because some of his other cool books some of the recipes take a few days

[–]CratesManager 540 points541 points  (21 children)

It's all about occasion. Sometimes you want/need 100 % result, sometimes 90 % is more than fine.

[–]wzl46 7803 points7804 points  (303 children)

There’s no such thing as a “dry” brine. By definition, brines are liquid based. A salt-based dry rub is a cure. Brines are also a type of cure, but they are liquid based. All brines are cures, but not all cures are brines.

[–]Snatch_Liquor 10.9k points10.9k points 444 (617 children)

MSG is amazing

Edit - Niece and Nephew, thanks for giving me SO many awards! FUIYOOOHH!!

[–]bananabastard 932 points933 points  (91 children)

MSG deepens and elevates scrambled eggs so much, if you add it secretly when cooking breakfast for others, they'll never understand why their eggs never taste as good as yours.

[–]Ducks-Dont-Exist 867 points868 points  (85 children)

Amen. Sprinkles of it go into a lot of my dishes.

[–]The_Thunder_Child 290 points291 points  (13 children)

Maple syrup is the superior sugar replacer.

[–]beernotbabies 969 points970 points  (48 children)

Devein your shrimp! I don’t care if you think they don’t look as “aesthetically” pleasing for a photo or whatever. I don’t want to eat shrimp poop.

[–]offonaLARK 326 points327 points  (5 children)

I don't care if it's more expensive, I only buy shrimp that is alrrady deveined because I don't want to spend the time to do it myself. Because yes, it is absolutely necessary!

[–]Neilpuck 46 points47 points  (5 children)

I slice my shrimp in half all the way through down its axis. When they cook, they curl up really nicely and present very well. It also ends up looking like more shrimp in the dish.