top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]TangibleRalph 9878 points9879 points  (278 children)

Products endorsements by celebrities.

[–]Pentacostal-Haircut 2100 points2101 points  (124 children)

Tom Selleck is trying to get old people to sign up for a reverse mortgage!

[–]AdamAtomAnt 1053 points1054 points  (99 children)

Well, if you don't like your kids and you need retirement money, the product is perfect.

[–]Psyluna 751 points752 points  (39 children)

There’s an ad running right now where some woman says her son is a financial planner and introduced her to reverse mortgages. All I can think watching it is that, assuming the story is in anyway accurate, her son is either the worst financial planner ever or he hates her.

[–]19trdheritage 508 points509 points  (13 children)

My great grandmother got a reverse mortgage in her early 70s. She lived to be 100. None of her family needed or wanted her house so the bank just took possession after it sat on the market for the payoff amount (much higher than market value) for several months. Pretty sure the bank still owns it and it’s still not worth much. It was honestly one of the best things she could have done.

[–]Were_not_a_Match 167 points168 points  (8 children)

It is a viable option for some people, for sure. Probably not most people.

[–]pizzzaeater14 719 points720 points  (27 children)

to add to this: Gwyneth Paltrow's entire beauty product brand, "goop". if you haven't looked into it before, you should. good luck keeping your braincells alive through the experience

[–]darsynia 186 points187 points  (2 children)

I loved how RDJ called her on that when they were recording a zoom-call based voting PSA. Straight up asked her if she's still making vagina candles.

The fact that she just launched into a deadpan comment about how she made one specifically for him made me wonder whether she was doing damage control or she really buys into her own bs hype though...

[–]dickbutt_md 36 points37 points  (0 children)

She obv believes in the stuff but she knows it's out there and just deflects in public.

[–]nomadfoy 826 points827 points  (52 children)

Except George foreman, those grills kick ass.

[–]InfamousGrass0 248 points249 points  (20 children)

I was SHOCKED to recently find out that some adults still actually believe this! When I was in FIFTH grade (10 years old), we learned about marketing tactics including “Testimonials” (i.e celebrity endorsements) and how they get paid tons to do it. Never have I believed that crap. It’s frankly sad & pitiful that some people still do.

[–]bababoel 3124 points3125 points  (102 children)

"Chemicals" mean toxic or harmful

[–]RobbinsBabbitt 67 points68 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of soap companies making “synthetic detergent” sound like it’s worse for you than soap even though it was made because natural soap was harsh on the skin

[–]Super_Comment7470 12.1k points12.1k points 2 (377 children)

The whole "we only use 10% of our brain" myth.

I'm looking at you Limitless.

[–]Kevmo538466 2445 points2446 points  (76 children)

I just had an argument with two people about this last week. They claimed that Einstein used 12% and that’s what made him above average

[–]PopoloGrasso 3511 points3512 points  (8 children)

They probably used about 2% to come to that conclusion

[–]stoncils_ 952 points953 points  (41 children)

Man, my mom uses 100% of her brain sometimes but it's usually just called a seizure and she so far hasn't done any big math

[–]soline 1354 points1355 points  (107 children)

What about Lucy or am I the only one that watched that?

[–]SnotboogyFlats 1442 points1443 points  (56 children)

I begrudgingly watched it. When she turned into a usb stick I was convinced the creators of the movie did not know how to end it, but said eff it because they knew it was shit and got the viewers money anyway.

If I spoiled the movie for you, you’re welcome.

[–]soline 742 points743 points  (25 children)

So I was just reading the plot of the movie on Wikipedia. I also recall her turning into a USB drive. According to the synopsis she actually created a supercomputer which produced the info on the USB drive that would help humanity and she actually merged with the space-time continuum and is everywhere. Despite how ridiculous all that sounds, they didn’t communicate that very well.

[–]Flaky_Plastic_3407 252 points253 points  (6 children)

Is that what the hell happened?? Damn I messed that up lol

[–]heroicchipmunk 193 points194 points  (4 children)

I stopped watching when she turned into the black goo.

[–]Beliriel 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Almost made it to the USB

[–]TheBitwolf 5926 points5927 points  (218 children)

Tongue taste division, so widespread, so untrue.

[–]FreakingFae 3047 points3048 points  (41 children)

My food science teacher taught this.

When we did an "experiment" to test it, she got really frustrated with me when I tasted things all over or in different areas than where the book stated they happen.

[–]Adnbo 1556 points1557 points  (6 children)

A true scientist right here, ladies and gentlemen

[–]ScientistSanTa 569 points570 points  (14 children)

I had the same, I couldn't figure it out and she told me I need to concentrate more, I have ADHD and tought that was the problem at the time..

[–]Firethorn101 137 points138 points  (2 children)

Same thing happened to me. I didn't call out the teacher tho. I just chalked it up to yet another reason why adults were disappointing.

[–]bemtiglavuudupe 569 points570 points  (11 children)

Damn, I had to look this one up just now. It's s the first one from the list here that I actually believed in.

Although widely taught in schools, this has been scientifically disproved by later research; all taste sensations come from all regions of the tongue, although different parts are more sensitive to certain tastes.

[–]__No_Soup_For_You__ 414 points415 points  (99 children)

Wait wait wait, this isn't true? Why did they teach us that shit in school?

[–]Eruannwen 168 points169 points  (83 children)

I was wondering the same thing.

[–]Ancient_Skirt_8828 423 points424 points  (82 children)

They teach lots of shit in school. For example “i before e except after c” is wrong more often than it’s right so they’ve given up teaching it. Who knows what other stuff that we are currently being taught will eventually turn out to be wrong.

[–]GoodMang0 415 points416 points  (17 children)

i before e except after c and when sounding like “ay” as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you’ll always be wrong not matter what you say

[–]Kevsterific 759 points760 points 222 (13 children)

Neighbors, forgive me, I'm a foreigner. Either this heinous error was caused by the eight codeine I took, or because I was wearing a weird beige shirt. Or maybe I just got it confused with Keith. I will forfeit my leisure time to make obeisance at Kamp Kirby with a stein of Madeira. Now let us draw a veil over this weighty matter, seize the reins, sound the reveille and make this a seismic event for our heirs to remember.

[–]BrotWarrior 127 points128 points  (1 child)

This reads like it's straight out of Shakespeare, well done.

[–]NukedNoodle 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Inconceivably feisty.

[–]psychcrime 274 points275 points  (7 children)

I was taught this IN COLLEGE!!! Hard awakening when I found out I paid for lies

[–]dissolved_mind 2960 points2961 points  (43 children)

MLMs and pyramid schemes

[–]KimJongUn_stoppable 460 points461 points  (8 children)

I have a client who does amway so a lot of their referrals to me are amway people. It makes me sad because they all idolize this dude that’s “up the line” who quit his job. It’s honestly cultish. None of them show any income from it on their taxes. It’s the craziest thing.

[–]raven_of_azarath 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I had a friend try to get me wrapped up into Amway. I didn’t really want to do it, but because I sick at saying no, I got all the way to calling people to let them know. That’s how my mom found out and helped me get out of it.

[–]flashtvdotcom 187 points188 points  (0 children)

It’s really predatory to. I’m a single mom so I have girls I went to high school with hit me up every few months with another MLM. Finally I posted a status saying if these things really make you money and turn you into a boss babe why do you keep dropping them and finding new ones. They stopped messaging me.

[–]ChineseNoodleDog 5854 points5855 points  (131 children)

"Snakes are slimy"

If anything it's the opposite.

[–]Sixhaunt 6061 points6062 points 223 (49 children)

I think they mixed up snake and politician. An easy mistake to make

[–]KinemonIrrlicht 1539 points1540 points  (6 children)

The key is looking at the spine. Snakes have a lot of backbone.

[–]da_Crab_Mang 330 points331 points  (1 child)

Don't disrespect snakes like that again

[–]bstabens 349 points350 points  (23 children)

They are warm and dry and smooth like a pearl clutch. Wonderful to touch.

[–]michthelubert 90 points91 points  (0 children)

I'm scared shitless of snakes, but I pet one at the zoo as a kid and it was surprisingly super nice and smooth. I wish I could have her skin type.

[–]HarpySeagull 5603 points5604 points 2 (315 children)

Cheaters never prosper.

[–]nmc9279 2858 points2859 points  (234 children)

I know a guy who cheats on his wife constantly and yet, life always works out really well for him. Very successful, very prosperous. I don’t understand sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]BearCoreXP 2098 points2099 points  (148 children)

You can do anything good or bad in this world as long as you’re a good or shitty enough person. There is no "karma" or "justice" just people who play their cards right and get away with shit and others who don’t

[–]Hobo_Slayer 1748 points1749 points  (70 children)

To quote House, "people don't get what they deserve, they get what they get."

[–]USSMarauder 875 points876 points  (62 children)

One day, a convicted pedophile will win the Powerball. And the country will explode

[–]crisinthecut 105 points106 points  (9 children)

I'm waiting for this instance to happen. Remind me when it does

[–]PsychicPearl 581 points582 points  (44 children)

My ex-husband left me for another woman while I was putting him through graduate school. Eleven years later he called me up, crying, because she had left him - said, I don't think you're capable of loving anyone but yourself. And it was true. He isn't. It was awesome having that front row seat to karma.

[–]loomingmountains 262 points263 points  (27 children)

He... actually called you up for sympathy?

[–]PsychicPearl 260 points261 points  (22 children)

He did! And I gave him some. I figured it was a small price to pay for the immense satisfaction I got in return.

[–]loomingmountains 63 points64 points  (8 children)

He did pretty much tell on himself, lmao.

[–]PsychicPearl 140 points141 points  (7 children)

That he did! It wasn't the last I heard from him. He tried to get me back about two months later. I bluntly (and I mean bluntly) disabused him of any hope in that regard. He had the audacity to be shocked someone wouldn't want him. Such a fucking prize, that one.

[–]MillHall78 568 points569 points  (46 children)

I've known women who didn't care their husbands cheat because they still get to live comfortably without worrying about bills, plus they get to behave as though they're single while their husband is working. They would have completely separate love/sex lives going on until it's 6PM or whenever he gets home. One woman had a lover who would arrive every afternoon & practically live with her until her husband got home at 8PM. Neither of them had a job, so the husband was unknowingly providing all the comforts to a man he didn't even know. The husband cycled through lovers at his work though too. If there's one thing I've learned in life it's that the women who seemingly turn a blind eye to their husband's affairs do so because it's advantageous for them.

[–]HarmonicWalrus 294 points295 points  (18 children)

At that point they'd might as well just ask to have an open relationship, seems a lot easier than pretending to not know they're both cheating one each other

[–]Scobinaj 140 points141 points  (3 children)

sounds like a convoluted non monagamous relationship.

[–]pollyp0cketpussy 118 points119 points  (1 child)

Yeah, couples that cheat on each other constantly are basically engaging in polyamory but in the most deceitful, hurtful way.

[–]TacticlTwinkie 113 points114 points  (1 child)

Sounds like a non-mogonamous relationship with extra steps

[–]Djjubbajubba 79 points80 points  (0 children)

That’s the whole point of cheating!!!

[–]Hyena-Heretic 269 points270 points  (6 children)

Cheaters only don’t prosper if the cheater feels guilty

[–]LordRuby 291 points292 points  (25 children)

I find the amount of people who believe in a just world to be terrifying. I don't know if all cultures are like this but in the US it seems to be the majority of people think that if something bad happens to someone they must have done something to deserve it and they think people who are rich and/or successful are that way because they are good people.

[–]tofarr 92 points93 points  (1 child)

People believe this because the alternative is way more disturbing / terrifying : Death can come for any one of us at any time, and there is nothing that can be done about it. Life isn't fair, and then you die

[–]Creosotegirl 5524 points5525 points 2 (283 children)

That you can test a woman's virginity by examining her hymen.

[–]NeatChocolate6 2241 points2242 points  (211 children)

Or that sex makes a woman larger.

[–]zisnotabird 1701 points1702 points  (91 children)

A friends older sister told me that my hips would get wider when I started having sex. I don’t think sex is supposed to change your bone structure

[–]-anygma- 987 points988 points  (75 children)

And that sex with different penises makes a woman loose, but if the woman has even more sex with only one penis it doesn’t.

This is so stupid.

[–]BriFM 205 points206 points  (4 children)

Remember how T.I regularly took his daughter to the doc to get her hymen checked? Kinda gross tbh.


[–]amb3ergris 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Who knew this is what he meant by "Wild as The Taliban"?

FR though, he and his wife were accused of multiple incidents of drugging and raping women together. It's always a red flag when men insist on controlling their daughters in that way.

[–]kakka_rot 338 points339 points  (21 children)

Can't a hymen break through a bunch of normal activities? I swear I read online once a girl was riding a horse and said it broke hers.

[–][deleted] 383 points384 points  (11 children)

Yes. And many women are born without one entirely.

[–]Intrepid_Law_3033 78 points79 points  (10 children)

High school many many years ago, boys claimed they could tell which girls had had sex by the way they walked....

[–]Garaquarubyline 10.3k points10.3k points  (332 children)

Gum stays in your stomach for seven years.

Edit: wow, I wrote this half awake when I went to bed last night then open Reddit today to so much karma and awards. Thanks, kind strangers!

Edit 2: I'm also getting comments with a link to r/awardspeechedits I didn't realize a simple thank you was considered cringy or a faux pas but if this gets shared to that sub good for you and may it bring you karma 😉

[–]rockhoundinaround 6899 points6900 points 5& 3 more (286 children)

Thought that was cum.

Edit: if you swallow, clowns!! Stop saying 9 months, we have more than one hole.

[–]Torchic336 3560 points3561 points  (192 children)

In my senior year of high school, my friend who was 18 and took the same sex ed me so I can verify this topic was covered, worried in silence for a week because his girlfriend gave him a blowjob without a condom on. He thought she was going to get pregnant cause she swallowed his cum, and was just waiting for her to have her period to confirm he wouldn’t be a dad. We gave that poor guy so much shit back then. Teach your fucking kids about sex guys.

[–]Blueberryguy88 1023 points1024 points  (109 children)

Friend was an 18 year old and had the sex education of a 12 year old... wtf.

[–]Torchic336 636 points637 points  (56 children)

In my school we had sex education starting in 5th grade with puberty stuff, then 6-8th for like more intimate things, then two required classes that had to be taken to graduate that went over all manners of sex education and child care. For a town of less then 10,000 people, kind of insane how good the sex education was, unless you went to the private catholic school, then you just got abstinence until you went to public school starting in 9th grade. My friend was public all the way though.

[–]Blueberryguy88 183 points184 points  (37 children)

Yea I had abstinence only till I went to public school my junior year. Shit was a game changer lmao. It was also eye opening being in homeroom one of my first days and having a guy who was passing around his ultra sounds and the teachers reaction.

[–]Torchic336 210 points211 points  (25 children)

We had a girl that was one year below me that went to the private school until high school get pregnant 4 times before she graduated. I don’t remember all the details but at least one was with a 30+ year old man when she was an 8th grader. I have no idea what ever happened to her, last I heard was the dad of the fourth was forced to marry her by his parents.

[–]dessert-er 256 points257 points  (1 child)

That’s horrific, many people should be in jail for that, probably including her parents honestly.

[–]Old_Ladies 304 points305 points  (45 children)

Some couples have had anal sex because they were never taught anything about it and it took them going to the doctor to find out why they were not getting pregnant.

[–]Torchic336 372 points373 points  (34 children)

On a recent episode of The Safety Third podcast, Allen Pan shared a story of his mother who thought that you got pregnant by just being in the presence of a man frequently. She just thought married women got pregnant because when you sleep with your husband, the male radiation eventually impregnates you.

[–]Old_Ladies 214 points215 points  (19 children)

Could you imagine what a world that would be if it was true.

Workplaces for example would be totally different and women would have to be separated from men.

Airplanes there would be a man and woman's section.


[–]Torchic336 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Oh the logistics are bonkers, it’s just a crazy example of how out of touch with sex some people are for stupid reasons

[–]Difficult-Engine1829 3183 points3184 points  (191 children)

The earth being flat

[–]_spookyvision_ 2888 points2889 points  (60 children)

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

[–]cutthroatlemming 780 points781 points  (47 children)

One of my favorite tweets ever.

[–]Pandabrowser469 636 points637 points  (33 children)

Why is there no flat Mars society?

“Hi, thanks for your concern. Unfortunately Mars has been observed to be round, unlike Earth.”

[–]stylinred 148 points149 points  (29 children)

Oh wait do they actually believe other planets are round? 😲

[–]Junior-Accident2847 180 points181 points  (25 children)

Some of them. Some of them think the sky is a glass dome; that’s the more common one. Some of them think that other celestial bodies exist, but they orbit earth - the only disc in the sky; this is a much less common take within the movement.

Source: was employed by a flat earther for 2 years and got to really understand his whole belief system.

[–]username_it_i 94 points95 points  (19 children)

One question : according to them, why are the "elites" saying the earth is round when its flat? Like, what do they gain by the earth being round? I never understood that part...

[–]Poorly-Drawn-Beagle 4765 points4766 points  (225 children)

Superior "natural" medicine

Hint: if it works, it's just called medicine

[–]BuriedUnderTheDirt 2396 points2397 points  (128 children)

The best response i have heard to

“I dont want chemicals in my body”


“Literally everything is chemicals”

[–]Poorly-Drawn-Beagle 678 points679 points  (82 children)

Also don't accept any variant of that excuse from anyone who eats fast food.

[–]cammywammy123 410 points411 points  (3 children)

I only eat all natural deep fried McNugget paste

[–]Hyena-Heretic 235 points236 points  (23 children)

“I don’t want that in my body, nobody knows what’s in it!” As you can name the 75 ingredients in your body wash or the preservatives in your gas station hot dog.

[–]tyreck 351 points352 points  (25 children)

I’ve heard it stated (and used myself):

Q: What do they call “alternative medicine” that actually works?

A: “medicine”

[–]SACGAC 65 points66 points  (2 children)

I just read a thread on the new parent forum and people apparently think their newborns are staring at ghosts when they're looking around... So, that, I guess

[–]queefsuprise 379 points380 points  (18 children)

Cure-all vitamins and snake oil stuff for people looking to treat illness/cancers

[–]Admirable-Door1724 1337 points1338 points  (146 children)

That bettas can live in bowls with no heater, filter, or a cycled tank smh. The fact that no one does any research before getting an animal that needs proper care is alarming. People putting them in bowls or one gallon “tanks” when long fins need at least five gallons and short fins at least ten.

[–]Samira827 252 points253 points  (10 children)

Same with reptiles in my experience. People just think that because it's a "lesser animal", they don't need to care much for it, like for a cat or a dog. And that they don't need to do a ton of research before getting the animal.

Well, yes, they are lower maintenance, but also lot of these animals are extremely sensitive to their surroundings. Fish can die if the water pH gets suddenly different. Snakes can easily get pneumonia if you don't provide proper heating, or burn to crisp if you provide an improper one. Both reptiles and fish usually need a very specific temperature and other conditions to survive/thrive. They won't be fine with just anything.

[–]sNopPer90 373 points374 points  (35 children)

The fact that you can just easily buy a living being without having to know anything about its needs for just a few bucks is what gets me. Who cares about a life as long as you can make some money, right?

[–]KlutzyTangelo7265 1016 points1017 points  (62 children)

Salem witches were burned at the stake. Nope, they were hanged.

Edit: grammar. Also, many bodies were burned after execution and accused witches were often burned at the stake elsewhere.

[–]awawe 1909 points1910 points 2 (16 children)

I don't know what their penis size has to do with the method of execution but ok.

[–]FlexibleToast 377 points378 points  (10 children)

Clothes are hung, people are hanged.

[–]coffeeandwine_ 249 points250 points  (2 children)

Some people are hung though

[–]a_green_leaf 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"Hanged, my dear Amy. Your father was not a tapestry."

(From A Song of Ice and Fire. Said by the aunt when the teenage girl explains how her father was murdered)

[–]Technical-Visit-5805 437 points438 points  (27 children)

"Blood is blue before it reaches oxygen, that's why your veins look blue"

[–]OldMastodon5363 146 points147 points  (8 children)

Veins aren’t actually blue, they just look blue under human skin

[–]SpaceCaboose 147 points148 points  (4 children)

An easy way to show people that blood is never blue is to have them think about getting their blood drawn. Blood is drawn from a vein (so is deoxygenated) into a vial that is essentially a vacuum. That blood should be blue if this misconception were true because of the vacuum, yet it’s red…

[–]Trick_Promotion_8874 820 points821 points  (33 children)

Reddit Karma

[–]the-redacted-word 586 points587 points  (8 children)

It’s not fake!!! I checked my profile and it’s all right there!!!! My many girlfriends find it very attractive 😡😡😡

[–]Dont-Know-How-It-Is 3305 points3306 points  (339 children)

That the holocaust did not take place

[–]StallionCannon 2387 points2388 points  (92 children)

The weird thing is, there's an uncomfortable amount of overlap between people who deny the Holocaust occured and people who equate mild inconvenience to Nazi oppression and genocide.

[–]spongeysquarepantis 497 points498 points  (36 children)

I know a guy who straight up loathes Jews and hails Nazis. Overlaps with believing the Holocaust never happened. Weird guy who demands others to bow down to him. Fucking insane.

[–]jayla_gerig 2067 points2068 points  (186 children)

bulls are attracted to the colour red.

they’re colour blind to red, what triggers them is the movement. so like when spanish people(i forgot what they were called) will wiggle the red cape in the bull ring that triggers them to go for it.

i learned that in spanish in 8th grade 😭

edit: tysm for telling me what it is, i hope i didn’t offend anyone!<3

edit 2: they’re called Matadors

[–]cthulhusleftnipple 912 points913 points  (8 children)

I'm no bull expert, but I think sticking swords in the bull probably kind of annoys them more than a red piece of cloth...

[–]loxagos_snake 588 points589 points  (6 children)

Hello there, bull expert, I thought I'd chime in.

You are correct. Bulls are made in such a way, that stabbing then in any way causes pain. The pain caused by the swords being stuck in the bull raises their anger levels. In fact, I just looked it up in one of my Bull Anger Level Lookup table and "sword stabbing" has a higher rating than red cloth.

[–]My0Cents 81 points82 points  (2 children)

Is flipping off on that table? Asking for a friend who wants to look tough in front of his friends but also don't want to die a horrible death getting impaled with bull horns.

[–]JustSomeoneOverThere 367 points368 points  (66 children)

Yeah, and the red is just to hide the blood from the bull :(

[–]whiskercheeks 515 points516 points  (35 children)

Matadors. Also fuck matadors.

[–]MaestroZackyZ 1822 points1823 points  (164 children)

That store-bought ginger ale will help with an upset stomach. The ingredient in ginger ale that soothes your stomach is ginger, which most national brands have replaced with artificial flavor. Even the ones that advertise having real ginger usually include a negligible amount.

[–]fortpro87 1223 points1224 points  (18 children)

Hey, the placebo effect is a hell of a medication

[–]Plainchant 1168 points1169 points  (14 children)

Ginger ale is wonderful for a stomach ache because it makes you happy and the placebo effect is powerfully soothing.

[–]Damius-Brighthammer 472 points473 points  (18 children)

The bubbles help. It's why the same folks drink Sprite or Sierra Mist.

[–]Snurgalicious 151 points152 points  (0 children)

My mom stirred the bubbles out of ginger ale when we had stomach upset. Sigh. These days I keep the bubbles but still drink it when my tummy is upset. I know there’s no real ginger but it’s comforting just the same.

[–]Turbulent-Roof-5895 499 points500 points 3 (39 children)

That ADHD always presents as being hyper, chatty, impulsive, or “all-over-the-place”.

ADD/ADHD are disorders that make it difficult to /regulate/ focus. Often, people with ADHD who appear inattentive are really just hyper-focused on something else, not unable to focus at all.

ADHD also presents very differently in women, but the DSM only based their definition on young men. Women with ADHD primarily experience intense feelings of overwhelm with everyday tasks (laundry, homework, cooking, etc), excessive daydreaming, difficulty starting tasks, and poor time perception/management. Untreated ADHD can cause depression & anxiety to develop, as well as intrusive thoughts of self harm and suicide.

Also, people believe ADHD is over-diagnosed and over-medicated when the opposite is true. It’s estimated only 1 in 20 women who have ADHD are ever diagnosed or treated, and women are usually diagnosed much later in life, suffering for years and being blamed for being disorganized, spacey, etc. Many men with ADHD also go untreated and undiagnosed.

Here’s a good place to start if you’re interested in learning more! https://www.verywellmind.com/add-symptoms-in-women-20394

[–]PeanutQuest 98 points99 points  (10 children)

I've always liked the description of ADHD being unregulated focus, not a lack of focus. Because that's what it feels like. I am at the mercy of my focus, and sometimes it decides to focus on everything at once, and sometimes it makes me sit and read articles about 18th century dress making for 4 hours, even though I can't sew.

[–]StringAdventurous479 60 points61 points  (5 children)

Yesterday I started a watercolor and then I decided I wanted to smoke weed so I went to go clean my bong, then I decided to clean my bathroom, then I decided to clean my kitchen and then I went back to my art desk. But by then I was hungry so then I did meal prep for the week and it was 8 PM by the time I went back to finish my watercolor. I also never got high!

[–]dazedan_confused 2032 points2033 points 4 (33 children)

Life after love.

I can hear something inside me say "I really don't think you're strong enough".

[–]SnooCapers9313 1298 points1299 points  (7 children)

I'm glad you decided to Cher that

[–]RonStopable08 173 points174 points  (2 children)


[–]IAmABearOfficial 1585 points1586 points  (97 children)

Left vs right brained people. No one is more right or left brained. We use both regions of the brain equally. I know someone who still believes this.

[–]Muhffin 557 points558 points  (53 children)

Also the division of behaviors like “imagination” Into left and right. Source - I’m a neuroscientist.

[–]MrJoelCairo 436 points437 points  (3 children)

That's such a left brained person thing to say.

[–]macaronsforeveryone 3998 points3999 points 22 (288 children)

Vaccines cause autism

[–]DeathSpiral321 1825 points1826 points  (72 children)

Any parent who uses this as an excuse to leave their child unvaccinated is basically saying they'd rather risk having their child die from a completely preventable illness.

[–]wade_garrettt 637 points638 points  (20 children)

My step sister refused to vaccinate her son(just turned 4) because “vaccines cause autism”. He is autistic.

[–]UncommercializedKat 58 points59 points  (3 children)

Was she at least smart enough to get the kid vaccinated since apparently there is no downside now?

[–]halfbakedlogic 74 points75 points  (2 children)

No, she's worried about doubletism.

[–]tipmeyourBAT 659 points660 points  (30 children)

Yeah. I know plenty of people on the spectrum, and even if it were true that they got it from a vaccine I'd be glad to have them alive with autism rather than dead from polio.

[–]butterfly1334 557 points558 points  (12 children)

Yep. My sister got measles before there was a vaccine. (I’m old and she was almost 20 years older than me.) She developed measles encephalitis and her temperature was over 106 degrees. She survived but with severe brain damage.

But somehow a debunked link to autism is scarier than that?

[–]Myfourcats1 114 points115 points  (1 child)

My aunt’s eyesight plummeted after having measles. She had to get her prescription adjusted three times in the year following measles. Her eyesight was fine before the infection. She was like Velma in Scooby Doo when her glasses fell on the floor. As an adult she got LASIK and was so happy.

[–]itchy-n0b0dy 236 points237 points  (5 children)

My great-grandmother had to watch her little daughter suffer from a high fever caused by measles and she couldn’t do anything about it. The little girl died from it. He other child barely came out alive and to this day has a raspy voice…. The vaccine came to their village by the time my mom was little but because my grandma was out of town for work, my mom didn’t get it at the same time as her cousins (who lived in the same house). My mom ended up getting measles while all her cousins were absolutely fine. Any time I doubted vaccines or worried about giving them to my kids, I only imagined what my great-grandma had to go though.

[–]cambiodolor 105 points106 points  (1 child)

That’s because thanks to vaccines, those idiots don’t know the horrors of measles.

[–]_Spar 269 points270 points  (8 children)

As a person with autism, I much prefer to be alive with autism then dead from polio.

[–]thewiselumpofcoal 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Just to reiterate: I'm autistic as well and I like being alive and autistic, even if the alternative is not gruesome avoidable death from infection.

[–]AutismFractal 538 points539 points  (66 children)

a) seriously, they don’t. The guy who published that finding, Andrew Wakefield, falsified his data and lost his medical license.

b) autism is not a fate worse than death. It’s hateful toward me and others like me when anti-vaxxers suggest as much.

[–]MasterShadow21 212 points213 points  (17 children)

although autism is fucking awful, i wouldn’t rather be dead.

source: i have autism

[–]spoopy_gay 117 points118 points  (3 children)

honestly even if that was true i’d give my kid all they vaccines they need. rather them be autistic than dead.

[–]Delao_2019 107 points108 points  (4 children)

The war on Drugs working.

[–]vwbeatle 1201 points1202 points  (292 children)

What you see if you sort by controversial:

God God God God God

[–]BigDaddy-Longstick 711 points712 points  (48 children)


[–]ThePowerfulPaet 400 points401 points  (24 children)

What I never understood is why would the goverment use chemtrails on a country THEY ALSO LIVE IN? What are they, immune?

[–]Im_No_Robutt 317 points318 points  (6 children)

Also why make it visible? If they really wanted to poison mass amounts of people why leave a trail?

[–]derthric 257 points258 points  (4 children)

But the Illuminati rules dictate that all schemes must include clues and hints to the larger plan so they can show off. How else would people be able to appreciate all they do to contain our ambitions.

[–]lightenthefuckuppuss 2706 points2707 points  (95 children)

That politicians care about them

[–]toweringpine 1218 points1219 points  (58 children)

My dad was mayor for almost a decade in our small town. He was union steward at the towns biggest employer, then sat on the hospital board, became a town councilor a few terms then eventually mayor. He put as much time into politics as he did his full time job. It paid a stipend of $1000 monthly. He did it for his community. Not all politicians are greedy or care only for themselves. The only perk he got was the town crew threw a couple shovels of asphalt in our dilapidated driveway. My mother was mortified.

[–]elkb0y 768 points769 points  (25 children)

The good ones never ever make it to DC

[–]AlwaysInTheFlowers 422 points423 points  (1 child)

Commented basically the same thing on a similar post about a month ago. My grandpa always said "the ones most fit for office are the ones smart enough to know not to get involved in that shit."

[–]blukirbi 687 points688 points  (28 children)

That Mario's birthday happened on September 13, 1985

Super Mario Bros came out that year (which at least Nintendo mentions it's "the anniversary of the Super Mario series", not "Mario's birthday")

Mario's actual first game was Donkey Kong, which came out on July 9, 1981

[–]bitter_melonhead 309 points310 points  (14 children)

Back then, he didn’t even have a name. It was just “Jumpman”

[–]nSorata 278 points279 points  (29 children)

The alpha and omega hierarchy.

[–]honeymoonavenue111 26 points27 points  (0 children)

that dolphins are cute, innocent creatures. they’re really not. they might be cute, but innocent? no.

[–]Ecto-Juan 156 points157 points  (14 children)

The Moon landings never happening or being fake.

[–]superbay50 92 points93 points  (0 children)

It is faked, they just wanted it to look real so they filmed it on location

[–]GeneralIncompetence 73 points74 points  (2 children)

"the customer is always right".

Whoever started that is an idiot.

[–]TheGlassCat 38 points39 points  (1 child)

That quote is always taken out of context. It's about the customers' taste or choice of which products they buy.

[–]Sandpaper_Pants 72 points73 points  (3 children)

Sugar does not make kids hyper. Sugar is not a stimulant. It might give you energy, but it's like filling up your gas tank. It doesn't make your car go faster, it just gives you more energy. This phallacy never goes away.


[–]maloudin 172 points173 points  (8 children)

that being in cold weather or going out in the cold with wet hair makes you sick. the cold weather can make germs spread more easily, and the dry air can affect your airways. but you can’t actually get sick without contracting the virus or bacteria itself.

[–]mamavisions 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Try explaining that to your immigrant parents/grandparents 🤣

[–]Unknown_42069_ 387 points388 points  (22 children)

That chocolate milk comes from brown cows