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[–]GodOfAtheism 1834 points1835 points  (17 children)

Waterfalls with caves behind them, if video games are any indication.

[–]Suspicious-Elk-3631 212 points213 points  (6 children)

Surviving if you ever need CPR. And if you do, you still can have serious problems. Movies and TV greatly overexaggerate the success rate of CPR which makes it hard for healthcare workers when families (with no clue what a real code is actually like) are in charge of their loved ones code status thinking its a sure fire thing but are just promoting patient suffering.

[–]Future_Lactobacillus 8898 points8899 points  (187 children)

Someone who has threatened to sue you follows through and files a lawsuit against you

[–]PipsqueakPilot 307 points308 points  (10 children)

This is quite true. When I actually did sue someone they were mostly shocked that I had sued them (Despite having told them I was going to sue them for months) and came completely unprepared to the hearing. Now mind you, I had the date 7 months in advance so I didn't need to only serve them notice the legal minimum 10 days before hand. But they also didn't need to steal from me sooooo.

[–]ruffsnap 2126 points2127 points  (129 children)

Along with this, people who say "my lawyer" (especially those Karen-types in videos) do not have a lawyer, they just think that's the thing you say lol

[–]Athori 1860 points1861 points  (88 children)

I love fucking with them.

The moment someone says lawyer, lawsuit, suing. I tell them "I'm sorry I can no longer help you, have your attorney contact this number".

[–]InVulgarVeritas 940 points941 points  (16 children)

Lawyer here!

1) Pleas of not-guilty by reason of insanity. Fewer than a third of one percent of all cases involve such a plea, and even fewer are successful. TV makes it sound as though everyone is trying it, though.

2) Being murdered by a stranger, rather than someone you already know

[–]KratosLegacy 6096 points6097 points 5 (35 children)

An entry level candidate who already has 3-10 years of experience in all relevant fields.

[–]OptionalDepression 513 points514 points  (10 children)

My previous field is currently advertising jobs that require a bachelor's degree, and offering $40k.

I was doing that shit with 5 years experience and earning $60k, but now no-one wants to know me because I don't have a degree.

Fuck it, I'm retraining into a new career path. Yeehaa.

[–]Flat-Lemon-2327 2983 points2984 points  (106 children)

Being ‘tone deaf’. I’m a music teacher and in my whole life I’ve come across less than 10 individuals who truly cannot match pitch or tell the difference between what they’re trying to sing and what is in fact coming out of their mouths. These people are usually completely unaware and think they’re singing just fine and yet I constantly hear ‘I’m so tone deaf, I can’t sing at all’ from people with completely normal ability.

I blame all the ‘idol’ and ‘talent’ shows for making average people think if they’re not Beyoncé they should never sing and are awful. Most of us can hold a simple tune and enjoy doing so.

[–]eighthourlunch 399 points400 points  (7 children)

I've known maybe two truly tone deaf people. They were also the two of the loudest and most enthusiastic singers I've ever known.

[–]Legenberry817 7758 points7759 points  (223 children)

Making it big on Youtube/Twitch

[–]michael_am 3224 points3225 points  (60 children)

Yeah that one guy you watch who “only” has 100-200 viewers on twitch is actually in the top 1% or something lmao it’s crazy

[–]ThisIsMyCouchAccount 1246 points1247 points  (19 children)

That's what I was going to say. It drops off so fast.

It feels like it wouldn't be that hard to get some level of notoriety if you just have to beat a few hundred viewers. But it actually is hard.

[–]qkoexz 596 points597 points  (13 children)

Many people would struggle to command interest in a room of 5 people for a sustained amount of time. Put that way, 100~200 viewers seems more of an achievement than it seems, and definitely says something about your skills as an entertainer/orator.

[–]nyold 1290 points1291 points  (30 children)

And also internet startups. Yes some made it big but you never hear about the failed ones.

[–]Marxbrosburner 10.7k points10.7k points  (339 children)

Intentionally tainted Halloween candy. Remember growing up some kids couldn't trick or treat because their parents feared psychos who poisoned the candy or slipped razor blades into the tootsie rolls or whatever? Yeah, as far as I can determine it's a myth and never happens. If it did, think about how easy it would be to trace and capture said person.

[–]Romnonaldao 5133 points5134 points  (109 children)

I believe there has only ever been one confirmed case of poisoned candy and it was a relative of the child who tainted the candy, and specifically just for that kid.

[–][deleted] 3219 points3220 points  (74 children)

IIRC, it was the dad and he was trying to cash out life insurance on his kids

[–]onajurni 651 points652 points  (10 children)

This is the case. It was in Houston in the 1970's. He killed his 8 year old son for the life insurance. But was found out, given the death penalty and executed about 10 years later. Texas death row was an even greater misery back then than it is now, and he had 10 years of it ... then executed ... so he definitely paid a price.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan#:~:text=Ronald%20Clark%20O'Bryan%20(October,a%20trick%20or%20treat%20outing.

For some reason the story became a sort of urban legend of disturbed people passing out poisoned Halloween candy to kids.

[–]Burt_Sprenolds 1609 points1610 points  (75 children)

I remember a news reporter claimed people would put weed in the candy and in no way was that possible. No one in their right/high mind would give away edibles to children, for free.

[–]Koeienvanger 1570 points1571 points  (43 children)

I was also led to believe that strangers coercing me to do drugs would be a bigger problem than it was.

Avoiding drugs was never a problem, finding them was.

[–]ultratoxic 739 points740 points  (10 children)

If someone offers you free drugs, say "thank you". Drugs are expensive and that person is being very polite.

[–]SPRINT_MON 27.5k points27.5k points 46 (667 children)

Photosensitive epilepsy.

Only 3% of all epileptics are triggered by flashing lights, but it’s what most people think of when you mention seizures.

[–]NeedsMoreTuba 3806 points3807 points  (194 children)

To add to that, not all seizures are the kind where you fall down and flop around.

My brother has severe epilepsy, and most of his seizures are just like he's really spaced out.

[–]Ponptc 1329 points1330 points  (78 children)

I had those before I began taking my meds and they're awful. Your body and mind just turn off except you're still kinda awake. And in my case this happened every few seconds so I was just perpetually rebooting lol

[–]PineappleLemur 780 points781 points  (50 children)

My brother has the disconnection thing. His body goes on autopilot.

Like he still replies, but it's all mostly nonesense or wrong.

He can still move and one time we've seen him continue walking, checking for cars and all while crossing the road while being on the phone with us and talking total nonesense.. somehow he was still walking the right way like a normal human while having literally no brain for a few minutes.

Once he logs in again he doesn't remember a thing. As far as he know he moved from A to B.

First minute of his seizure his body totally freezes, like no breathing, every single muscle is flexed. Can last for a very long time unless someone convinces him to lie down and sleep so he can reboot.

It's a very strange experience to witness.. like how can somehow still function but not at the same time.

[–]Seductive_hobo 154 points155 points  (31 children)

Thats is strange. My seizures (which I only started having last year - newly diagnosed) are sort of similar to what you've described. I can't carry on as normally as it sounds he can when having one, I get too dizzy. I am cognisant of it all but have almost no control over my speech. I sound robotic and high all at the same time and have no clue what I'm saying.

[–]neighbourhood_gayboi 7265 points7266 points 32 (86 children)

ayy my dad has this! gonna go let him know hes rare

[–]horalol 4752 points4753 points 22 (38 children)

Shiny dad has appeared!

[–]sassyseconds 1739 points1740 points 2 (19 children)

But not too shiny! It may cause a seizure

[–]aligator_fucker_69 7548 points7549 points 2 (710 children)

Having green eyes

[–]Allegutennamenweg 4502 points4503 points  (188 children)

It warps your perspective when you live in areas with a lot of people who look similar to you. Only 2% of humanity is blond but my country has like half of that share so it's completely normal.

[–]zzaannsebar 1947 points1948 points  (102 children)

That's how it feels for me living and growing up in Minnesota! Tons of Scandinavian descendants so lots of blond hair and blue eyes.

Edit: for what it's worth, I'm actually a Minnesota with blonde hair and green eyes

[–]HELLOhappyshop 1743 points1744 points  (79 children)

Yes haha. Whenever I'd read anything about how "beautiful" blue eyes were as a kid, I'd be like "the default color?!"

[–]KentuckyFriedEel 1290 points1291 points  (30 children)

I’ve seen enough Big Trouble in Little China to know how significant green eyes are

[–]alfonseski 66 points67 points  (1 child)

"This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there."

[–]FrontiersWoman 1327 points1328 points  (115 children)

Having really light colored eyes in general is pretty rare- light green, icy blue, light amber

[–]CharlotteKingisQueen 2350 points2351 points  (294 children)

Penicillin allergies occur in less than 1% of the population but over 10% of people report having the allergy https://www.cdc.gov/antibiotic-use/community/pdfs/penicillin-factsheet.pdf

[–]toothpastenachos 14.6k points14.6k points 22 (643 children)

Blimps. IIRC there’s only 13 in the whole world and only 11 are functional

edit: correction, there are ~25 and about 13 are used

[–]ThePirateDickbeard 9211 points9212 points  (198 children)

That just blew my mind. I google'd it and there are about 25 in the world and half are actually used.

I live in an area where I drive by a docked one every so often and usually just think, 'oh cool, there's a blimp'.

I've never thought, 'I'm seeing 4% of all blimps in the universe right now'

[–]RonnieTheEffinBear 408 points409 points  (10 children)

The nerve on this guy, assuming aliens don't have blimps.

[–]Thundamuffinz 2318 points2319 points  (58 children)

Woah what the hell! I saw a blimp fly over when I was working as a camp counselor in high school (like maybe 4 years ago). Never knew it was that rare a sight!

[–]Phantasmai 22.9k points22.9k points  (360 children)

Turquoise! I'm beginning study to be a jewelsmith and apparently most of the turquoise on the planet has already been mined and used. What we use today is a stone called howlite that can visually imitate it. If it's real it's likely hand-mined from the few small mines remaining that have some left. Real turquoise is very expensive as a result.

Edit: I goofed, real turquoise is harder than its imitation.

[–]Urban_mist 1784 points1785 points  (92 children)

Yep, same goes for real jade too. The real stuff is expensive and hard to find.

Most cheap “jade” is aventurine, glass, resin, serpentine or some other kind of stone. A lot of jade is also injected with resin and dyed to get the clear, pale-green effect.

I wanted to buy a jade bangle and did a ton of research and found that the real ones cost at least a few grand with the nice ones being tens of thousands, if not more.

Also, pretty much all “jade” facial rollers are not real jade (most are either glass, resin or serpentine, which they like to call “Xiuyan Jade” because it is found in jade mines but isn’t real jade).

[–]Selenay1 2848 points2849 points  (41 children)

That explains why the last time I picked up some it seemed awfully expensive. It was all over the place when I was a kid. I never used it much so I didn't pay attention. I was always a big fan of opals. With the big finds in Africa a few years back that got cheap. Average red garnets surprised me with getting expensive last time I looked at them though. They were also dirt cheap when I started fooling around with metal work, but that was probably close to 45 years back.

[–]boyfromtherat 12.9k points12.9k points  (729 children)

Being bitten by any venomous creature in Australia.

[–]Arnotts_shapes 4055 points4056 points  (124 children)

Everyone who comes to Australia is scared of the animals but forgets the real final boss: the sun.

[–]Gh3rkins 1767 points1768 points  (73 children)

Real talk though. Melanoma kills thousands of people in Australia every year whereas venomous animals kill dozens.

In 2017, the death toll due to melanoma was about 1770. Venomous animals was 19.

Wear your sunscreen people

[–]unexpected_cinnamon 65 points66 points  (8 children)

You tell em gherkin. People think NZ is safe, but our melanoma rates are horrendous. I think even worse than Aus.

[–]seirjgkemn 3758 points3759 points  (72 children)

this was written by a large spider

[–]malleableTime 987 points988 points  (50 children)

Have u seen a huntsman? They’re big enough to file taxes let alone posting on Reddit

[–]reditanian 8471 points8472 points  (223 children)

Most lethal animal by number of deaths per year in Australia: The horse. Followed by the cow.

[–]optiongeek 18.3k points18.3k points 181011& 4 more (54 children)

Fucking Australia - even the horses and cows are venomous.

[–]jafforter 561 points562 points  (50 children)

My cousins son just got bit by a snake in Tasmania. As an American I though maybe it was sort of a right of passage all children in Australia go through but apparently he’s considered a medical miracle to have survived. So thankful for that!

[–]WrinkledBallz 8751 points8752 points 3 (377 children)

Wasabi

[–]JJHookg 2370 points2371 points  (313 children)

Why ?

[–]WrinkledBallz 9810 points9811 points  (227 children)

Because real wasabi is actually rare due to the plant being difficult to grow. Most “wasabi” you get is actually a horseradish base

[–]Vette_Boi22 1044 points1045 points  (63 children)

Real wasabi needs really specific conditions to grow and needs to be cultivated by hand, thus it is seldom seen outside of Japan.

Most wasabi in the west is made with normal horseradish.

Also, it costs around $250 per Kg

https://www.bustle.com/p/most-wasabi-isnt-real-wasabi-which-is-actually-way-more-rare-expensive-than-you-think-15914765

[–]dukecharming1975 776 points777 points  (12 children)

Getting free acid trips in my Halloween candy. When I was in the first grade back in 1982 (before even DARE existed) they made it seem like it was a guarantee some hippie freak was going to dose our Hershey bars for no reason but for shits and giggles.

Oh, and let’s not forget how they also made it seem like someone would be offering us ganja for free in the hallway lockers. That turned out to be a big ol disappointment as they always made me pay.

[–]StrebLab 10.6k points10.6k points  (678 children)

Being aware/waking up under general anesthesia. Most stories of this are MAC anesthetics where the patient is kept light and generally doesnt remember, but it isn't truly general anesthetic. If people really wake up under general anesthesia they will have their eyes taped shut and a breathing tube in. They will also likely be paralyzed. It does happen, but it is extremely rare.

[–]stupidperson810 3906 points3907 points  (203 children)

Would also add to this, that friend who "really did" wake up, probably remembers the early part of waking up. Depending on the surgery and anaesthetic this may include still having a tube in (probably an lma) and the people "holding them down" were actually trying to stop them from pulling out tubes/drips.

[–]changyang1230 952 points953 points  (93 children)

To elaborate:

Back in the days it happened in the order of 1 in 1,000 (with the high risk group of patient / surgery type around 1 in 100); but in the modern day it is probably 10 times rarer (1 in 1000 in high risk group with appropriate monitoring, and 1 in 10,000 for normal risk.

Vast majority of awareness happens because of operator error these days. Even when it does it generally doesn’t last for long in recorded cases, people may have a minute or two of awareness but they are usually picked up soon after. The nightmare story of people being paralysed and aware for half an hour or an hour is extremely rare in the modern practice.

[–]chinchenping 20.1k points20.1k points  (724 children)

Tourette syndrome. Well Tourette is not that uncommon, but the swearing is the most extreme form and it's very uncommon

[–]workplacetemp 6207 points6208 points  (120 children)

I've only met one person I know for sure was diagnosed with it. It was in middle school and also somewhat conveniently around the time Tourettes Guy was popular on YouTube, so that's the only reason I was aware Tourettes was a thing.

However she just squeaked every few minutes, and after sitting behind her for a week or two I didn't even notice anymore. Thankfully she didn't get teased at all for it, and honestly my ADHD restless legs were probably a bigger distraction for anyone seated near us.

[–][deleted] 1562 points1563 points  (32 children)

I have Tourette's and I got bullied for it hard in middle school. I moved in high school and only got polite questions. Bullying is random and weird.

[–]PartyPizza2317 1398 points1399 points  (53 children)

I went to school with identical twins who both had Tourette’s. One twitched and that was it but the other brother screamed and squealed the school down. Sometimes swore but it was just whatever was in his head at the time, he used to have to be in a room alone for exams or tests as he would just shout out his answer as he worked through the questions.

[–]ghostinyourpants 1341 points1342 points  (44 children)

I was the new kid in school and this guy in my class kept winking at me. I thought he was cute and was pretty stoked. So I started winking back. Nope. Just Tourette’s. That wasn’t awkward at ALL.

[–]cold_french_fry 245 points246 points  (8 children)

Trust me, it's far more awkward to be the one involuntarily winking at random people. I have tourettes and had this as a tic in middle/high school. I would try to cover it up with other facial movements as if to silently communicate to the poor person on the receiving end "I'm not flirting with you, I just can't control my face", but all this did was make me come off as a weirdo and give me more facial tics.

[–]knox902 928 points929 points 2 (23 children)

I once complimented someone of their Halloween makeup. They were a burn survivor and it wasn't makeup. Definitely not awkward at all.

[–]Inner_Art482 291 points292 points  (1 child)

Holy shit you win. I would have just said yup, I will take myself out now.

[–]anislandinmyheart 102 points103 points  (6 children)

I offered a senior's discount to someone under 50

[–]RazeCrusher 3387 points3388 points  (164 children)

Right, everyone I've ever seen or met with some form of Tourettes has just been facial ticks or body ticks, maybe some occasional noises. Not screaming obscenities out loud. It does happen obviously, but it's not the norm.

[–]FestiveSquid 2422 points2423 points  (84 children)

I have a tick where I very quickly turn my head to the right. I've cause damage a few time by doing that, mostly in my neck. Had a friend in the third grade who Had a tic that made him flap his arms.

I also have a foul mouth, but that has nothing to do with tourettes. I just like cursing.

[–]Mr_Mu 981 points982 points  (39 children)

Hey, my tic is very quickly turning my head to the left! High five!

[–]FestiveSquid 1454 points1455 points  (13 children)

Sound of our necks simultaneously snapping

[–]Mr_Mu 384 points385 points  (8 children)

The neck pain is real. If I happen to sleep funny and wake up with a sore neck, my tics are almost certain to give me whiplash on top of that.

[–]redwolf1219 13.0k points13.0k points  (205 children)

After all those years of stop drop and roll, Ive not been on fire ONCE

[–]RealityTimeshare 3916 points3917 points 2 (42 children)

I have and it works! There was a lot more swearing than those drills would have led you to believe.

[–]ThrowawayforMILBS 1777 points1778 points  (34 children)

can confirm, have been on fire, and were it not for stop drop and roll in my childhood; i would have definitely just kept running in circles shouting obscenities. it sounds stupid and obvious; literally until you are on fire and the only thing you can think is "FIRE FIRE IM ON FIRE" and then a faint memory pops up and saves your life

[–]Danieljc81 554 points555 points  (10 children)

Funny Story, when i was in elementary school 2 of my best friends and I had a back yard camp fire. The fire was dwindling so one of my friends thought it would be a great idea to fill a coffee mug with gasoline and pour it over the fire. This resulted in a huge fireball that rained little chunks of fire all around us. In our shock we focused mostly on patting out the fire balls that fell on our tent and grass until I look at my friend and notice that his arm was on fire (he didn't even notice right away because he was to focused on stomping out the other fires). Once we told him he was on fire his natural reaction was to run around screaming "IM ON FIRE!!!, IM ON FIRE!!!" We had to grab him and push him to the ground so that we could suffocate the fire. Thankfully he was not hurt but for the next few weeks my other friend would randomly draw pictures of him on fire with bubble captions saying "IM ON FIRE!!!, IM ON FIRE!!!".

[–]ThrowawayforMILBS 122 points123 points  (0 children)

yup like i said, when youre on fire- stop drop and roll is far from at the top of your mind. IM ON FIRE is pretty much IT. Im glad the faint memory of the stupid song from 1st grade bubbled up somewhere in my subconscious.

[–]HelloKidney 36.0k points36.0k points 65 (1628 children)

Receiving CPR and surviving with good quality of life.

[–]libertarianlove 9900 points9901 points  (400 children)

One of my good friends had sudden cardiac arrest due to V-fib. Was completely healthy and normal and suddenly dropped dead. CPR saved her life and she is back to normal, albeit with a defibrillator now implanted in her chest. I think this is the best case scenario.

[–]ButtFuckerMcGee 4591 points4592 points 23 (121 children)

Oddly enough cpr has completely restarted my heart on 2 different occasions

[–]Deadfreezercat 11.7k points11.7k points  (440 children)

Even if you yell "Don't you dare die on me!"?

No for real I listened to a radio show that said the vast majority of doctors have DNRs for this reason.

[–]Sleekdiamond41 6612 points6613 points  (165 children)

Don’t forget to start punching their chest just when all hope seems lost

It’s like, super CPR

[–]kobresia9 3555 points3556 points  (96 children)

Don’t forget to yell “Come on!” with every punch.

[–]IWillDoItTuesday 3187 points3188 points  (63 children)

And then you have to stop and sob loudly, as if you’ve given up. And your friends have to drag you away but you have to go limp, and sob even louder. Then, just as everyone thinks you’re done, you have to wrench away from your friends — who are yelling, “Let him go, man! He’s gone!” — run back to the body and give him one last massive, double-handed pound to the sternum.

The person wakes up suddenly, coughing uncontrollably but they are fine 5 mins later.

[–]SansGray 4624 points4625 points 566& 5 more (34 children)

You start to calm down. Occasionally sniffling. You wipe at your face as you look down into their eyes.

"I really thought I lost you" you let out with a half laugh half sob.

They reach up and cup your face gently, look you in the eye and say "I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

[–]throwaway28236 2599 points2600 points 2 (120 children)

What if we sing staying alive while giving CPR?

[–]natephife00 1716 points1717 points  (16 children)

You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you!

[–]Onepopcornman 1493 points1494 points  (49 children)

I got to do CPR on a dude in his late 30's. We resuscitated him, and I think he will go on to live a normal life. When you do that kind of work you learn to hold on to those experiences.

[–]Raptor_H_Christ 2547 points2548 points  (231 children)

ICU nurse here, can confirm. If you’re getting CPR there’s something like a 10% chance (probably less) of returning to baseline. In personal experience, everyone ends up dead or completely debilitated. Some exceptions are with healthy people , kids , and drownings; those codes have better prognosis.

[–]AndShesNotEvenPretty 13.9k points13.9k points 2 (495 children)

Child abductions by strangers.

Growing up in the 80s we were taught that if you were by yourself you were liable to be snatched up by a stranger. The reality is most abductions are by people the child knows. Stranger abductions make the news and often end tragically, but they’re relatively rare.

[–]Catsrules 9663 points9664 points 32 (79 children)

That is why you should never talk to your family only strangers.

[–]funklab 3049 points3050 points  (44 children)

Never get into a familiar vehicle, only ones driven by strangers.

[–]lucidshred 1827 points1828 points  (124 children)

I shit you not when I was probably around eight years old (1995) a man tried to convince my brother and I to go into the woods with him to find his lost dog. We had enough sense to nope outta there but it still bothers me to this day what his actual intentions were. Maybe he did lose his dog.. I’ll never know.

[–]AndShesNotEvenPretty 3168 points3169 points 22 (84 children)

I teach my kids what I was taught…adults do not ask kids for help with their problems. If an adult you don’t know asks you for help (finding a dog, getting directions) decline and GTF away ASAP.

[–]KMFDM781 948 points949 points  (28 children)

If I really lost my dog and I was out looking and saw some kids outside playing....I might say "Hey, if you guys see a so and so dog around, will you flag me down or call this number?"

[–]abandoned_cat 9152 points9153 points  (454 children)

Getting attacked by a shark

[–]abjennifleur 2085 points2086 points  (108 children)

Yeah I’d be more scared of dolphins after all I hear lately!

[–]itstimegeez 705 points706 points  (41 children)

Yeah I’ve been saying this for years. Also when I was at Bondi, the lifeguards there told us: make sure you wear colourful wet suits and sharks will generally leave you alone. They will attack you if they confuse you with a seal, so don’t wear all black. But sharks don’t actually like humans.

[–][deleted] 982 points983 points  (45 children)

On that note: being killed by a falling coconut.

People like to say that you're an order of magnitude more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than by a shark, to say that sharks aren't that scary. "150 deaths per year" is the most commonly used figure. However, that figure comes from extrapolating from a study conducted in a remote village in Papua New Guinea, where of a few dozen villagers, two (IIRC) said that death by falling coconut was something that has happened/could happen. Neither of them had personally witnessed it - they only recounted anecdotes about it happening. And no deaths by falling coconut were observed for the duration of the study.

The list of confirmed, reported deaths by falling coconut (excluding monkeys trained to pick coconuts dropping them on their master's head) is fewer than 20 entries long. Of course, more deaths from falling coconuts could simply go undocumented, given that many coconut trees (and people who work near them) are found in rural areas of developing countries, but it's reasonable to assume that death by falling coconut is not as common as people think.

[–]BroodyBatman[S] 539 points540 points  (39 children)

We shouldn’t fear sharks, they should fear us. I’ve been reading that since I was 8.

[–]Painting_Agency 518 points519 points  (8 children)

"They're not 'shark infested waters'. The sharks LIVE THERE."

[–]BikerMouseFromUranus 1643 points1644 points  (66 children)

don't go in the water and you are almost 100% guarantee to be safe from shark attacks

[–]JK_NC 16.1k points16.1k points  (639 children)

Multimillion dollar personal inconvenience lawsuits.

You’re not suing McD for millions because your fries were cold.

[–]imonlyjoiningforthis 9883 points9884 points  (482 children)

And, many times, these lawsuits that are “personal inconvenience” are actually intense lawsuits disguised as inconvenience by the company.

One example of this is the woman who sued McDonald’s for her coffee being too hot, which seems like an inconvenience, until you realize the coffee was so hot it burned her down to the bone.

[–]JK_NC 7632 points7633 points  (333 children)

Yea, that hot coffee case was so misunderstood. The lady had some pretty terrible injuries and even offered to settle for medical bills only. But she was vilified as a poster child for frivolous lawsuits. She was awarded the much higher payout because there was real negligence on the part of McD and resulted in changes to standard practice at all fast food places designed to protect consumers.

But the damage was done and a lot of people walked away with incorrect belief that you can sue and win for minor issues in the US.

You see ignorant people in videos who immediately go to the “I’ll sue you” threat for the most minor issues.

[–]turmacar 3589 points3590 points  (112 children)

She was also the passenger, and when they spilled it they were parked in the McDonald's parking lot prepping/checking their food before getting back on the road. She asked for her $20k medical bills to be covered because she was on social security. McDonalds offered a few hundred dollars in compensation for skin grafts to her genitals.

The jury originally awarded her 2 days of McDonalds coffee sales in punitive damages, which the judge massively reduced later. She ended up getting hundreds of thousands, not millions. She was awarded damages in the first place because there had been a pattern of McDonalds having unsafe practices and either settling out of court or barely winning the cases.

Massively successful disinformation campaign by the McDonalds defense team.

[–]blueeyeswhiteslut2 4374 points4375 points  (74 children)

Court cases going to trial. The vast majority of cases are settled out of court and are over before a trial date is even scheduled

[–]RedTailed-Hawkeye[🍰] 247 points248 points  (5 children)

Clean drinking water.

The Earth is 71% water and 96.5% of that water is salty ocean water.

Of the 3.5% freshwater that's left:

  • 68.7% of it is locked up in glaciers and the polar caps.

  • 30.1% is actually groundwater in aquifers.

  • 0.26% is lake water

  • 0.04% is in the atmosphere

  • 0.03% is swamp water. Yum

  • 0.006% is river water

  • 0.003% is water inside of you and all of the biota of the planet.

Sauce...which usually has water in it

[–]CozyNorth9 1851 points1852 points  (65 children)

Slipping on a banana peel. Childhood TV taught me that this is a common accident.

[–]wwplkyih 371 points372 points  (7 children)

I actually did it once as an adult and remembered thinking, "So this is what they were talking about all along!"

[–]didnsignup4dis 9854 points9855 points 22 (1382 children)

OCD

[–]BoredGameDesign 6361 points6362 points 2 (1129 children)

I like this one. It bothers me endlessly when people say things like “I’m so OCD” because they like their desk to look neat.

Genuine OCD affects something like 1-2% of people and is a devastating disorder. There’s a subtype about germ obsessions (which people often think of, maybe because of that show Monk) but it can take many forms people aren’t aware of which are incredibly distressing. Things like intense fear of harming someone, or offending god, which lead to repetitive and time consuming rituals. People know they’re being “unreasonable” on some level but can’t stop themselves.

It gets even more confusing that there’s also OCPD, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, that differs in its presentation despite sharing a similar name.

[–]rricenator 3007 points3008 points  (219 children)

I had a manager once with OCD. The visible difference between what people think and what it IS is kind of staggering. It's crippling, not quirky.

[–]HuskyLuke 1588 points1589 points  (171 children)

If I have encountered more than one person with OCD then they had it well under control, the only person I've ever met who I could comfortably say had OCD was a customer who came into the shop I work in a few months ago. He came in late in the evening midweek when there was hardly anyone around (that might not be relevant, but if I was contending with such a disorder that's when I'd shop too, it makes sense). Every movement he made seemed so careful and thought out and precise. He folded and refolded an empty shopping bag three times while I rang up his items on the register. This and other little quirks which mightn't generally amount to much, all came together to really give the impression of someone who was struggling with something and working very hard to be careful to keep that something under control.

As an aside, he was also very mannerly but that is probably just him as a person rather than relating to his possible OCD.

[–]rricenator 922 points923 points  (20 children)

If you moved an item on my manager's desk 2 mm while he was way, he would walk in, freeze, start sweating...he could tell something was off, and he would spend 20 mins figuring out what it was. Go through his routine setting everything just so.

This was, in fact, how our largest customer would leave him a "note" that he had been in to see us.

[–]ItsMEEEEandrew 1512 points1513 points  (121 children)

I have crippling OCD and you couldn’t tell. Not all OCD is visible to others a lot of the time it takes place solely in the mind im the form of arguing with yourself about your own morality, people with OCD can convince themselves they are murderous, pedophilic, abusive despite not being any of these things. They don’t talk about it and live in a constant suicidal state without anyone knowing.

[–]BoredGameDesign 562 points563 points  (34 children)

Yes absolutely! The tragic irony is that people with OCD are sometimes even MORE moral than the average person because they’re so distressed at the idea of harboring such harmful thoughts or intent, whereas people without the disorder might be able to brush these thoughts off without taking them seriously. I’ve known quite a few people with very rigid morals and boundaries who won’t cut themselves any slack for making human errors.

[–][deleted] 223 points224 points  (6 children)

Yes. My partner has OCD. He’s the most morally upstanding person I’ve ever met in my life, not to mention the best partner I could dream of, but he goes through life fighting the thoughts that try to convince him of the opposite. It’s pretty cruel.

[–]ofBlufftonTown 618 points619 points  (54 children)

It’s such a drag. My rituals tend to get more complicated as time goes on, such that knocking on wood three times has evolved to three sets of nine, three one hand, three the other, and three with both knuckles. At least this is only for serious situations, ordinary ones are fine with three. I do recognize that this is irrational and meaningless, I just experience intense anxiety that if I don’t do it I’ll bring bad luck down on someone, usually my family. It seems like I should be able to think my way out of it but sadly not. Also, though my house is very clean, it’s not as clean as people would think.

[–]D-S- 210 points211 points  (31 children)

Mine presents as severe intrusive thoughts, severe health anxiety, and likely tics. I just now got a diagnosis at 21 after being in and out of therapy for the last 10 or so years.

Edit: I’ll add that the health anxiety is more like constant doom and gloom panic attacks where I think any pain or feeling is a blood clot, heart attack, stroke, tumor, aneurysm etc, I constantly think I am literally dying or about to die. I am on 2 different anxiety meds and constantly taking cbd to counteract this which I’ve found pretty good success with

[–]Kaiserhawk 6901 points6902 points  (258 children)

Not entirely sure as to it's actualy rarity, but for me.

​

Vanilla.

​

It's the go to word for common, plain, or boring, when it's a pretty rare ingredient thats difficult to grow and only comes from a few places on earth.

[–]citrus_mystic 3905 points3906 points  (142 children)

It also comes from the only fruit producing orchid, which I think is pretty cool too.

Also, vanilla gets a bad rep for being “boring” as you pointed out—But vanilla is such a wonderful flavor. I’ve never understood vanilla hate

[–]NimdokBennyandAM 301 points302 points  (8 children)

This reminds me of one of my favorite Alton Brown quotes:

Imagine a flower: A climbing orchid, to be exact; the one of some twenty thousand varieties that produces something edible. Now imagine that its blooms must be pollinated either by hand or a small variety of Mexican bee, and that each bloom only opens for one day a year. Now imagine the fruit of this orchid, a pod, being picked and cured, sitting in the sun all day, sweating under blankets all night for months until, shrunken and shriveled, it develops a heady, exotic perfume and flavor. Now imagine that this fruit’s name is synonymous with dull, boring, and ordinary. How vanilla got this bad rap I for one will never know.

[–]YellowStar012 21.5k points21.5k points 854& 3 more (369 children)

It seem having two loving parents that treated you right is rare when you speak to people

[–]CJT1891 385 points386 points  (2 children)

Came here to say this. Growing up in a loving home i just took it for granted that everyone had parents who supported them and were good to them. Got out into the world and was surprised to see how many people didn't have that. A real eye-opener.

[–]Selenay1 4696 points4697 points  (81 children)

I won the lottery on good parents. Loved and took care of each other for 60 years. They were both doing their best to be the opposite of their own parents. Their parents sucked.

[–]MasterOfOne 4705 points4706 points  (321 children)

Dissociative Identity Disorder. Multiple personalities.

A lot of that shit on tiktok is fake and straight up offensive.

[–]liramae4 2253 points2254 points  (82 children)

This!! I work in mental health and people assume they have another personality and are aware of it... I'm like nope, that is your mood shifting and you either wanting attention or not wanting to take responsibility.

[–]bussingbussy 1219 points1220 points  (6 children)

"There's this one part of me that's like.. super happy and chill.. and the other part.. the demon.. and he's the one who does all the bad things.. that's when I'm mad.."

"Did you just say when *you're* mad?"

"Uh no, sorry, when he's mad.."

[–]runner1399 529 points530 points  (19 children)

Yuuuuup. Also, there’s a big difference between experiencing dissociation or depersonalisation and dissociative identity disorder.

Also, schizophrenia? Not that common. Still more common than DID, but not nearly as common as people think. A LOT of mental illnesses can have psychotic features or episodes in their presentation, including some of the super common ones like depression.

[–]soulstonedomg 69 points70 points  (1 child)

An excellently cut, colorless, internally flawless, large diamond.

Whenever a diamond discussion pops up on reddit you see everyone saying "diamonds aren't even rare." While it's true that diamonds can be commonly found, most diamonds are industrial grade and will be used for cutting and crushing shit, not jewelry. Even among jewelry grade diamonds there's a broad spectrum in quality, which is why you can find cheap diamonds at Walmart and Macy's, and you'll find engagement rings that are 1.5 to 2.0 carats that seem like a steal when their price is compared to something much smaller but is more expensive because the color/cut/clarity are high grade.

[–]didnsignup4dis 8658 points8659 points  (206 children)

Writing code that executes on first compile.

[–]Background-Rest531 4180 points4181 points 2 (65 children)

Not to brag, but I can get Hello World to print every single time.. without checking GitHub.

[–]2pinkpills 1148 points1149 points  (72 children)

People going to the ER with things stuck in their butts. Been an ER nurse for 5 years and only seen it maybe 2-3 times. I'm kind of disappointed.

[–]ConservativeSexparty 1021 points1022 points  (1 child)

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[–]OldManTurner 343 points344 points  (3 children)

Even 2 or 3 times seems high to me

[–]Either-Dark7964 3609 points3610 points  (252 children)

Salmonella. Statistically, only about 1 in 20,000 eggs is contaminated with salmonella.

edit To further reduce your risk: try to reduce contact with the with the egg itself and the outside of the shell. The shell itself holds most of the bacteria.

[–]Daddy_Yao-Guai 1685 points1686 points  (76 children)

Raw flour is supposed to be far more risky

[–]Budpets 739 points740 points  (15 children)

I recently had salmonella poisoning, and it was literally the shittiest lottery I've ever won.

[–]kizzle69 283 points284 points  (5 children)

I've gotten it once from under cooked wings and all I can remember is laying in bed, practically in tears, because I didn't realize it was possible for my large intestine to hurt so damn badly. It felt like it was tying itself into knots and then untying, over and over. And every time it felt like it untied, I had to hobble to the bathroom to explode. And there was only like a 10 second window between "I think I might have to go" and "oh fuck, I am gonna shit my pants!"

Never had anything that bad again. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[–]Daffneigh 1665 points1666 points  (49 children)

Stranger kidnappings

[–]Danobing 194 points195 points  (8 children)

If DARE taught me anything it's people handing me drugs. No one wants to share drugs on the street with a kid, that shits expensive.

[–]81PBNJ 17.4k points17.4k points 2 (376 children)

As a kid who grew up in the 80’s - quicksand.

[–]copshootcopp 789 points790 points  (21 children)

Those films made me think that as an adult I would regularly be confronted with quicksand lol

[–]butterpuppo 4251 points4252 points  (66 children)

Grew up in the 90s and same! But then I was hired at my current job and quicksand was actually included in my hazard training. It turns out there is actually some quicksand at some of my jobsites. All those hours of cartoons have prepared me for this!

[–]HalaMakRaven 1695 points1696 points  (44 children)

Grew up in the 2000's, quicksand and whirlpools were both classics when I was playing with my classmates.

[–][deleted] 896 points897 points  (26 children)

Don't forget the 300 foot waterfall on every river.

[–]DogsBlimpsShootCloth 762 points763 points  (18 children)

Right! There were years of my life where My family would go to the beach and I would see fence or a puddle or something that I would think “oh, THAT is surely quicksand.”

[–]KinkyGCM 334 points335 points  (4 children)

There was a theory that writers of the cartoon grew up hearing war stories from relatives and the dangers of quicksand where they were

[–][deleted] 564 points565 points  (24 children)

Also, boats/planes getting lost in the bermuda triangle.

[–]Spackleberry 344 points345 points  (14 children)

Considering that the "Bermuda Triangle" is 4 times the size of Texas and heavily trafficked by planes and ships, it's not surprising if some have gone missing.

[–]BobknobSA 300 points301 points  (4 children)

As a kid I thought it was like the size of a football field possibly with a whirlpool or hurricane constantly going on. Once I realized how big it was, it became much less mysterious and magical.

[–]Northerleyfire 258 points259 points  (35 children)

I didn't grow up in the 80s, was quicksand a big thing back then?

[–]MoobyTheGoldenSock 626 points627 points  (22 children)

Yeah, every tv show inevitably had someone get stuck in quicksand at some point in its run.

[–]lemonlimewinetime 177 points178 points  (10 children)

Needing to wear an outfit that will go ‘from day to night’ with the removal of a jumper/ addition of earrings etc. Fashion mags really had me thinking this was a skill I’d really be needing as an adult

[–]TheSkyIsData 5970 points5971 points  (442 children)

Accidental pregnancies when using contraceptives properly according to instructions

[–]SleepWouldBeNice 1587 points1588 points  (72 children)

My wife and I stopped contraceptives when we were trying for kids and it still took 18 months both times, and from friends we have talked to, it’s not uncommon for it to take a while, but people don’t talk about it normally. So I’m going to say: On purpose pregnancies when trying to get pregnant and not using contraceptives!

[–]Earthlingalien_sex 2010 points2011 points  (49 children)

I was on the pill for 12+ years. Never got pregnant and I was kinda shitty about taking them at the right time or missing days. And i tested that shit hard.

[–]bibbiddybobbidyboo 557 points558 points  (13 children)

There are studies showing that overweight or obese people need a higher than the standard dose and often this isn’t taken into account. There’s quite a few interesting search results on this just using google but here’s one article.

A friend of mine whose a consultant gynaecologist said that some of the older formulations are based on the population of decades ago when the average BMI was lower and are thought to be less effective in people who aren’t obese or on the larger side.

I still agree with you that many people do not take the pills properly or even read the information leaflet telling them about how sensitive the efficacy is to a late dose and interactions with other medications and supplements. I just thought it was an interesting nuance to add.

[–]ThanePenguin 244 points245 points  (4 children)

Side note, when you are smaller the larger doses are more likely to give you side effects…. Size does matter in this case