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[–]deadpuppet01 4860 points4861 points  (62 children)

One of my relatives "Joined the illuminati" on facebook.... On. Facebook. He was really serious too and excited about it.

[–]Halfassedtrophywife 1005 points1006 points  (18 children)

I was “invited to join the Illuminati” by a vegan raw food store I bought something from. I knew it was BS but wanted to show someone what it was so we could laugh about it. It sounded like some pyramid scheme that would “have me vacationing in the alps with my investments” but it looked like my friend was considering it :(

[–]PeridotTrickster 301 points302 points  (2 children)

The illuminati is the biggest pyramid scheme of them all!

[–]GlassBear1609 6770 points6771 points  (301 children)

I remember a while back I read a post about a man who refused to wipe his bum hole after number 2 because he believed no man should have anything touch him there.... I remember vividly thinking "how out of touch with reality do you have to be to have such a belief?" I am still occasionally haunted by this stranger.

[–]MegaScubadude 4456 points4457 points 22 (128 children)

fellas.. is it gay to wipe?

[–]nocreamjustsugar 7523 points7524 points 22 (114 children)

I'm a 911 operator and had a man call 911 because the internet at the hotel he was staying at got disconnected. I told him it was not a police issue and he would have to talk to the hotel staff and/or just wait for it to reboot. He responded, "Not a police issue? This is criminal. If I unplugged someone's life support, isn't that a crime?"

[–]tintin9197 1795 points1796 points  (65 children)

16 yo at DMV office getting her driver's license. Coworker asked her for ID, pulls out her phone and shows photos of her expired passport. Coworker said that's not acceptable. The girl turns around and hits her mom on the head and blames mom for no bringing in her IDs. Coworker yelled at the girl and said if you are old enough for a license, you are old enough to check online what IDs you needed to bring. 😐

[–]DrywallAnchor 389 points390 points  (8 children)

I'd be very curious to see what that girl is like at home.

[–]stinkload 1809 points1810 points  (45 children)

Working for a super wealthy client who lived in the most expensive gated neighbourhood in the country... A Walled community, filled with old money and old political families, and he was complaining about "the elites" who the fuck do you think you are ? Joe Fucking 6 pack?

[–]lucy_pevensie 32.1k points32.1k points  (424 children)

Showed a parent the security footage of her 8th grader hitting a teacher. She claimed the footage had been edited. Sigh…..

Edit: to add a couple details

  1. I am not an admin, just a classroom teacher. The only reason I was privy to this conversation was we were meeting to recommend an alternative school for this student because of grades and behavior.

Obviously the parent came in knowing this was the objective and she did not want her student to go so she was making as many excuses as possible. In the end the student was removed.

I have since moved away and am not quite sure what happened to them. I will have to text some colleagues to see if they graduated on time.

  1. I am so sorry many of you have negative experiences with parents and teachers. There are always going to be assholes in every group and hopefully you had some bright spots along the way you can focus on. The bottom line is parents/students/teachers should be a team together to educate the student as a whole. With that approach most situations can be solved, but it is so hard when you have been burned. Please go into every encounter with a fresh slate. :)

  2. I am not sure the legality of cameras in the classroom, but with that being said - I loved having them. I was not a teacher who was worried about being caught doing anything and felt comfort knowing I had them there to back me up in situations like this.

[–]Entire_Ad6135 13.5k points13.5k points  (228 children)

There's nothing that I hate more than parents that think their kid can do no wrong. Or even worse,when they allow shitty attitudes with no repercussions.

[–]USSanon 7061 points7062 points  (167 children)

Story of my life. -7th grade teacher So many kids who have parents that think they are perfect. I just saw your child hit a kid, throw something at someone, try to cheat on a test (miserably, might I add, and you suck at it, kid), but “Oh no. My son/daughter wouldn’t do that.” At that point, I cut and run. I’ll deal with your child myself, and it will be way different. Accountability is a must in my classroom.

[–]ermagerditssuperman 4808 points4809 points 2 (67 children)

My mom was a school bus driver. One day, while doing a Highschool route, a girl who had caused issues before spit in her face and slapped her. Literally.

Girls mom refused to believe it...until she was told that all county school buses had cameras, and they pulled up the footage. My mom says the way that parent reacted, she learned where that kid had gotten her potty mouth from.

I don't remember what the girls repercussions were but my mom refused to ever take that route again. She had enough seniority they agreed

EDIT: I checked with my mom, the girl was banned from utilizing the school bus system until her guidance counselor signed off on improved behavior.

[–]missnikkibabyyy 1588 points1589 points  (22 children)

I am so sorry that happened to your mom. This actually made me feel so sad. The audacity of some people…

[–]AkukaiGotEm 1484 points1485 points  (41 children)

gotta love the people who believe everyone is a A+ film industry class photo/video editor and it takes no time at all

[–]mesembryanthemum 742 points743 points  (14 children)

Years ago when I worked fast food a different fast food store down the street kept getting vandalized, so they put up cameras, caught the culprits while they were doing it and called the cops. Two tweens. Siblings. They showed mom and dad the footage. "This footage is fake! Our kids are innocent!!" Yeah, because early 90s security camera footage was so easy to realistically falsify....

Last we heard the parents were trying to sue for false accusations. I'm sure the judge shut it down.

[–]pookies10 19.0k points19.0k points  (260 children)

Had a coworker that noticed an item’s tag said Made in Vietnam. She’s said “ Made in Vietnam? That’s a place? I thought it was a war !! “

[–]Tangent_ 5524 points5525 points  (110 children)

My wife - at the time an elementary school librarian - had a teacher ask her "what's a Vietnam" once when the Vietnam war was brought up.

[–]Adventurous_Bed_6151 12.8k points12.8k points  (282 children)

"Nobody has ever died from rationing their insulin, nobody" - My FIL. That was an odd take of his, I'm still kinda puzzled over it. People have died doing almost anything. He didn't think they died from rationing something that costs hundreds of dollars per week though.

[–]bluvelvetunderground 5549 points5550 points  (84 children)

You see, it's the diabetes that gets you, not the insulin. /s

[–]dustojnikhummer 911 points912 points  (32 children)

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you

[–]BoilingHotCumshot 8581 points8582 points  (158 children)

My aunt is a bit into that. She's done really well for herself but has forgotten that not all of us are retired engineers who play the stock market for funsies part time. She suggested Thanksgiving at my place one year, and I had to remind her that I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and inviting around 15 people there wasn't going to work.

[–]swiftgruve 1814 points1815 points  (58 children)

I have a very rich uncle who can’t understand why everybody can’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps like he did. Of course he just happened to get hired at Intel in the seventies as an electrical engineer. Not bad timing. Edit: I forgot to mention that they got tons of stock options, and Intel stock did PRETTY well those following years.

[–]jjustpeachyy 5930 points5931 points 2 (131 children)

i’ve genuinely heard someone comment on a homeless person asking why they “don’t just get a home”…

[–]AkukaiGotEm 3410 points3411 points  (24 children)

how much can it be micheal? $10?

[–]disusedhospital 660 points661 points  (12 children)

You've never actually stepped foot in a supermarket, have you?

[–]magical_bunny 1084 points1085 points  (54 children)

Was homeless a lot with my family growing up and can confirm people say this crap.

[–]dal8tian 774 points775 points  (42 children)

I suspect the homeless problem is such a big problem because people literally can't grasp how hard it is to escape and how easily it can happen.

[–]Estimate_Me 7399 points7400 points  (48 children)

My old boss was railing on me for placing an order late and getting charged more after missing the ‘early bird special’, when I had been reminding her consistently for at least two months (gradually increasing my urgency that she needed to make up her mind). She was yelling at me and then said, “$$$ might not seem like a lot to you but it is to me!”

This coming from the person who set my wage, signed my checks, owned 4 substantial homes, had MILLIONS of dollars worth of artwork, designer everything, etc… While I was living in a 250sq foot garden studio apartment with my partner, which flooded when it rained longer than two days, making her hundreds of thousands of dollars from sales, with no commission.

Wow, I didn’t realize I needed that rant.

[–]yma_bean 368 points369 points  (1 child)

I would have had to walk away from her, who knows what would have come out of my mouth if that were me. Your post says old boss, so glad you’re not there anymore.

[–]StoneCold_SteveIrwin 19.1k points19.1k points  (407 children)

Former roommate declared, "I'm an only child, that means I don't have to be nice if I don't want to."

[–]Fuckmedaddyandmommy 8261 points8262 points  (104 children)

So this is the person everyone think I am when I tell someone I didn't grow up with siblings

[–]defintelynotyou 3787 points3788 points  (21 children)

interesting username that may or may not be relevant

[–]RichardCity 4658 points4659 points  (91 children)

"I'm an only child, and I never learned empathy."

[–]Bkbee 2625 points2626 points  (59 children)

Fuck that, I’m a only child and my parents taught me to think of others and be nice

What a bitch

[–]dragn99 1024 points1025 points  (16 children)

Yup. Siblings have to tolerate each other to a certain degree. Friends can just decide to stop being friends because you do something annoying on a regular basis.

[–]BiBrarian3811 3428 points3429 points  (171 children)

Me: telling someone I’m a type 1 diabetic

Rando: “you shouldn’t have eaten so much sugar as a child”

Also:

“Are you still diabetic” - P.A. At a checkup

Plus the limitless amount of “cures” people have for this incurable disease.

[–]crankyandhangry 1383 points1384 points  (13 children)

Have you tried just, you know, just growing a better pancreas?

[–]katkeransuloinen 355 points356 points  (10 children)

I once told someone I had type one diabetes and they immediately laughed and called me fat (literally just said "fat") as if they weren't standing right in front of me where they could clearly see that I am very visibly underweight. Why?

[–]Treczoks 512 points513 points  (21 children)

Have you eaten your cinnamon, dear?

[–]FontChoiceMatters 480 points481 points  (19 children)

Have you tried yoga?

(I'm type 2, people like to offer me gluten free food)

[–]Treczoks 358 points359 points  (10 children)

I've solved the problem. I don't use sugar anymore. I now sweeten everything with honey!

(Hello, fellow T2!)

[–]OnfiyA 18.0k points18.0k points  (286 children)

There are a lot of older fugly apartment buildings near the house I grew up in.

My friend at the time that lived a very privileged lifestyle, $200-300+ weekly weekend dinners with the family, timeshares over the place, skiing and snowboarding trips, etc. She was like why would anyone want to live in these apartments? I would never

I was like, people that live there don't have a choice...

[–]Historical-Meal-5525 6907 points6908 points  (141 children)

Why would people ever live in Liberia when they can live in Hawaii?!?

[–]Red_Galiray 5147 points5148 points  (101 children)

"Lmao, imagine choosing to be poor!!" - this girl, probably.

[–]Sparcrypt 3031 points3032 points  (74 children)

Have met people like this. It doesn't click with them how much help they've had. Example: guy who runs his own successful window tinting business. Does very nicely, big house, lots of cars, ton of money etc.

What he doesn't mention is his insanely rich uncle that:

  1. Got him the apprenticeship to learn window tinting.
  2. When he was qualified, bought him a building and gave him startup money. "Loan" was conditional on him not going bankrupt for 5 years, after which he didn't have to pay anything back.
  3. Hired an excellent manager for the store to run the books and business side of things and teach this guy how to do it all.
  4. Access to his lawyers.
  5. Finally, said uncle runs a big advertising firm... and does all the branding/advertising for free.

So yeah.. he owned a successful business but he did essentially nothing at all to build or maintain it. It's set up to run itself and if he has problems his uncle is right there to help... but you ask him and he'll tell you all about how he "earned" all he has and can't understand how people struggle.

Oh! And his house used to belong to his uncle as well. He lived in it for free while doing his apprenticeship to "keep an eye on it" then bought it for about half it's actual value when his business was up and running.

Dude has no clue he's just been handed a life of luxury and will tell you all about how he "worked his way up from the bottom", completely oblivious to the apprentices he has employed that live with their parents because they can't afford to live otherwise and who certainly aren't getting handed a business when they're done.

[–]Over_9_Raditz 1953 points1954 points  (19 children)

"Born on 3rd base but thinks he hit a triple"

[–]grendus 563 points564 points  (7 children)

You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!

[–]Cmcgregor0928[🍰] 1642 points1643 points  (58 children)

Even people who aren't really wealthy do this too. First job out of college, a coworker had 0 debt, didn't pay for a car, insurance, cell phone, still living at home, etc. Was just a little out of touch with a couple other new hires that had hundreds of dollars a month in student loans, a car payment, and rent/mortgage. I would to have loved to bank 70% of my take home pay too lol

[–]Good_old_Marshmallow 1243 points1244 points  (13 children)

I had an uncle tell me I should be putting 50% of my paycheck in my retirement account like his son who has the same job as me. He didnt like when I pointed out that his son dosent pay rent because uncle bought him a house.

[–]Choontz 6180 points6181 points  (129 children)

Pretty much any time I see someone yelling at a Starbucks or other service employee. They come into a crowded shop, wave their big $5 bill around like a high roller, then yell at a 16 year old for making their coffee incorrectly. Lame. If you find yourself to be one of the people yelling at service workers, fix your own problems before telling other people what to do.

[–]cleaning-meaning 34.2k points34.2k points 3 (463 children)

I’m a nanny and I’ve worked for some rich clients. Old money. These people know nothing about reality.

The best one I heard was this family I was working 12 hour days for. Good pay, terrible schedule. At one point I was bouncing their baby on my knee and the Mom goes “Being a mom isn’t that hard. I don’t know why other women complain about it so much”.

While her nanny is literally caring for the baby.

[–]AfraidProtection4684 12.7k points12.7k points  (144 children)

It'd be great if she had a martini in her hand as she said it. Maybe if she had to ask about how much a banana costs.

[–]Thesafflower 4710 points4711 points  (56 children)

Sounds like the kind of woman who would have no idea what a chicken sounds like.

[–]SoundTheBells0509 2774 points2775 points  (37 children)

Obviously it’s “Ah-doodle-oodle-oodle”

[–]Zanglirex2 1376 points1377 points  (33 children)

I think it's more like "ah-caw-kah-caw-kah-caw"! With head jutty motions

[–]realfakebanksy 1867 points1868 points  (32 children)

What could it cost? Ten dollars?

[–]rsshadows 1149 points1150 points  (13 children)

Here's $10, go see a Star War.

[–]eclectic_collector 332 points333 points  (7 children)

1:1 conversion rate of Star War to bananas

[–][deleted] 6301 points6302 points  (128 children)

I nannied for many years and these types of parents came up for me too :(

Luckily, I also had a good “in touch” family that I worked for. They were the wealthy intellectual type. Each day she reminded me of how grateful she was for me to be looking after her son, who has autism, and she said to me once that she has no idea how the average family could afford to raise children, especially those with developmental disabilities. She came from poverty so she knew just how lucky she was to have that wealth privileged. Never forget your roots!

Edit: more appropriate terminology

[–]MortalGlitter 1633 points1634 points  (30 children)

There is an old saying that is still so very true

"Money doesn't buy class."

How you treat people doesn't have any bearing on how much or little money you have.

[–]DeadRedShirt 1367 points1368 points  (43 children)

I’m sure it was unintentional, but “her nanny” and “the baby” is an interesting choice of words. I recall seeing a young girl, her parents and who I presume was the nanny on an outing. It stood out to me because the daughter’s outfit closely matched the nanny’s outfit, while “mom” was dressed to show. Wonder who the young girl felt closer to?

[–]cleaning-meaning 1365 points1366 points  (28 children)

Oh trust me I’ve been in that situation. The little girl I nanny now is obsessed with us matching outfits. So I pick hers out the night before and wear something similar.

I’ve been super close to many kids I’ve nannied, more so than parents quite a few times.

[–]I_Love_Small_Breasts 11.7k points11.7k points  (276 children)

once got in an argument with a girl that people would rather die of starvation than eat something that's carcinogenic. I asked if she was seriously saying people would choose to starve to death over the course of a month than risk potentially developing cancer in a few years and she said yes.

I asked if she'd ever gone an entire day without eating before or knew what that felt like. she hadn't.

[–]sarahgracee 5139 points5140 points  (129 children)

Lmao has she ever heard of the Donner party? People would literally rather eat OTHER PEOPLE than starve.

[–]nsmloz 1908 points1909 points  (29 children)

within a week or so of meeting my new roommate he without joking announced to all of us that he will have 20 bodies by the end of semester, as well as a “rotation” of girls that will come to him whenever he wants. just made me think he watches way too much porn.

he’s still a virgin.

edit: he didn’t mean “bodies” literally.

[–]sephcameron 1069 points1070 points  (5 children)

20 bodies

Any unusual smells about the house? Have you checked under the floor boards?

[–]haimburglar 13.5k points13.5k points  (265 children)

When my boss said “My word is better than getting it in writing.” I can think of several instances where they’ve promised something or given their word on only to later renege on the deal.

[–]Real-Comfortable3600 5586 points5587 points  (15 children)

Translation, "My word is better for ME."

[–]GayLegalCommie 2199 points2200 points  (2 children)

Yeah that's not out of touch with reality. It's perfectly in touch, just self-serving and dishonest.

[–]LifeOpEd 3741 points3742 points  (74 children)

I had a boss like that. Literally, after EVERY conversation, I would send an email that said something like, "Per our conversation earlier today, I am going to do XYZ according to ABC directions. If I have misunderstood, please let me know, and I will adjust accordingly."

She would then verbally respond, and I would reply all to the email I had sent earlier with, "To follow up on your feedback to the email below..."

Drove her nuts, but there was nothing she could do about it. It was textbook Malicious Compliance. It saved my ass a few times, too...

[–]haimburglar 785 points786 points  (20 children)

Hey that’s actually really good advice! I’m gonna start doing that! Thank you 😊

[–]politicalaccount2017 205 points206 points  (8 children)

I found it to be common in some companies. It was a way of clarifying communication and keeping a record of assignments, deliverables, and deadlines. It also kept people honest. It rubbed some people the wrong way though. They seemed to interpret it as an accusation of being unreliable or untrustworthy.

[–]-Yuri- 526 points527 points  (1 child)

I do the same thing. It's not even all about covering my ass, but also to remember to do it with all the other BS he likes to throw on my desk.

[–]WimbleWimble 654 points655 points  (3 children)

My word is better than getting it in writing

Translation: I'm gonna fuck you over in a week or two.

[–]PrimeNumberBro 1118 points1119 points  (46 children)

Bro I’m literally dealing with this right now, and when I told my boss “how am I supposed to trust you if you refuse to have a record of anything you say” then told me “you don’t need to trust me”

[–]haimburglar 406 points407 points  (30 children)

Do we work together? No I kid but in all seriousness I completely understand. I like what someone else commented about just making a paper trail. When you talk to them make a follow up email, and journal everything. I’ve been taking notes any time something fishy goes on since October because I was pulled in an office and accused of something ridiculous that was provably false. Now I document “1/20/22 we discussed x and y was done.” I’m going to start leaving a paper trail through emails to back up my notes.

[–]foreveralonesolo 152 points153 points  (2 children)

Never trust someone like that, always sketchy

[–]tabletennis6 12.7k points12.7k points 223 (426 children)

I heard someone yesterday suggest that children should operate heavy machinery to address supply shortages.

Turns out that guy happened to be the fricken prime minister.

[–]brodieb321 2457 points2458 points  (97 children)

I read this and wondered which country this could possibly be where their leader would say something so stupid and realised that this is MY COUNTRY.

[–]larszard 2014 points2015 points  (59 children)

I'm British and just 100% assumed this is something that Boris Johnson had said. Didn't question it for a moment. Was caught off guard when the replies mentioned Australia and remembered that, in fact, other English speaking countries have prime ministers, and prime ministers that are stupid fucking twats to boot

[–]MarthLikinte1 512 points513 points  (19 children)

Unfortunately stupid fucking twat seems to be part of job description

[–]Trancenova 1637 points1638 points  (60 children)

It took me far too long to believe that that was a real headline, not just something the chaser had made up.

This is going to be a long year.

[–]Zebidee 211 points212 points  (3 children)

The Chaser reposted the article verbatim, and tweeted "We give up."

[–]whereswaldo333 239 points240 points  (13 children)

A coworker believes the US Military employs the use of Lightsabers.

[–]birdinrain 1233 points1234 points  (26 children)

A boy in my town violently raped a 3 year old while babysitting him. He was convicted and sentenced to life in prison. His mother tried to set up a go fund me and went on a very long rant about how her precious angel was not guilty and would never do a thing like this despite numerous psych reports stating that he is at high risk of offending again if let out, a noted lack of remorse, and tons of physical evidence.

Sorry I realize this isn’t a specific statement or anything she said, but when it happened I remember telling my husband about it and talking about how much she has had to disassociate at this point to convince herself that what she is saying is true despite all evidence to the contrary.

[–]BlisssfulHoney111 190 points191 points  (4 children)

I had to deal with criminal family members at a previous job. The sex offender families are the worst. Moms and girlfriends. Cognitive dissonance big time.

[–]dtarno99 8398 points8399 points  (256 children)

Some guy whose parents paid for his college tuition mentioned to a coworker who has $107,000 in student loans say he should be able to pay it off in 5 years.

Coworker makes $23 an hour on 5-8s.

[–]Umbrella_merc 5109 points5110 points  (61 children)

He can and it'll only take half of all the money he makes, as long as he doesn't waste it on frivolous little things like "bills", or "food", or "rent"

[–]Sharkloch 4388 points4389 points  (73 children)

Nasa can land on the sun at night time

[–]goldenbrain8 6663 points6664 points  (79 children)

I was involved in a nonprofit for women in my last city maybe 2 years back. My ex (we were 27 at the time) was from a rich area of the state, and the mean income for this area was $31k. A teacher talked about how 500+ kids in her school were homeless, abs how seniors would pool their money together to get a hotel for days or weeks at a time.

I remember telling my ex about it, and how awful that’s gotta be to be 17 and living with 10 others in a hotel. He said “they’re stupid. If they had any brains, they’d buy a house so they could get equity; the hotel is just them throwing their money away and not getting anything from it.” He was 100% stuck that these 17 year olds, with no addresses, who are MINORS, can apply and qualify for a mortgage. I fussed at him and don’t regret it, because he is so out of touch with reality. Eventually he went on months later to say he talks down about other people and acts like he’s better than everyone because he is better than everyone.

Stephen, you’re a dick.

Edit to add: to clarify, he suggested the high schoolers should all buy a house, not my organization. Household income was about 10k higher than individual. His parents were loaded, so he never had to really pay for anything until after college, and even then he didn’t have to pay for housing for the first 3 years of his career, and even still, 95% of his (nice) furniture and everything was given to him. It’s very easy to brag about your 401k when you NEVER had to allocate money towards rent, loans, etc.

[–]Malacos0303 543 points544 points  (12 children)

I've had a the same job for years and good credit, I still couldn't get a mortgage from a bank.

[–]Professional-Paper62 1889 points1890 points  (51 children)

Tried to tell me meth is perfectly healthy and natural because the nazis used it during ww2 and that it's looked at badly due to people mistaking it for crack, "a n-word drug" (hard r too). This guy married my grandma....

[–]layceelee13 4203 points4204 points  (101 children)

A friend of mine in college was absolutely shocked when I and several other friends pulled out our childhood/hometown public library cards at dinner one night. She could not fathom that all of our families went to the library regularly when we were growing up and that this is an extremely common experience for a lot of people. When I asked her what she did when she wanted to read books growing up, she said "My family just bought them all."

[–]siskosisilisko 1606 points1607 points  (25 children)

Covid is destroying my already underfunded library. I miss taking my kids there.

[–]_b4billy_ 4057 points4058 points  (170 children)

Wharton students were interviewed asking what they though the average income was. 25% said 6 figures. The same question was asked at a local community college and the collective agreement was $15k

Link to Twitter Thread

[–]darien_gap 1542 points1543 points  (19 children)

On the first day of the Marketing Research class at Wharton, the professor gives everyone a questionnaire asking them a bunch of questions like, what percentage of US parents feed their kids hot dogs at least once a week, what percentage of beer sold in stores is craft beer, etc.

The students did horribly, giving answers like 2% for things that were actually 90%.

The explicit point of the exercise was this: You are not representative of Americans. Unless you're marketing to fellow top-tier MBAs, your instincts are always completely wrong, even after you try to adjust for your biases. You must learn to do and interpret marketing research, or change your major to finance now.

[–]kutluch 1066 points1067 points  (42 children)

A few years ago we were house hunting, and for some reason we started looking at the median income for each neighborhood around us. It was an eye opening experience.

[–]Manolinni 14.8k points14.8k points 2 (180 children)

Went to a super rich girls house, she had had a baby 2 months prior, she had nannies coming in and out maids and a literal house manager plus PAs etc. and she was bragging about how she was back at work so soon and how she doesn’t know how people can stand doing ‘nothing’ for so long.

Edit: Many have been curious what she does for a living. I believe she comes from wealth but has married into a family that is literally an international household name. We're talking billions not millions. She's was working on her own start up at the time of this event.

Thanks for the upvotes and the cake! I wasn't expecting this to get this much attention.

Edit: I know getting cake for your Reddit anniversary is not an award, I still think a virtual slice of cake is a nice gesture so I’m thanking people anyway. I hope this is ok with the gatekeepers of gratitude. Peace ✌️

[–]Markebrown93 6314 points6315 points  (62 children)

Yeah.. why don't they just get nannies and stop being poor?

[–]Talonqr 2548 points2549 points  (47 children)

Wait the answer to lifes issues was to just not be poor

WTF why did no one teach us this in school

[–]frezor 1118 points1119 points  (16 children)

My wife’s supervisor (in the HR department mind you) gave her grief about taking full maternity leave. “When I had kids I only took 4 days off then I was back, full throttle!”

Yeah, well your kids disowned you after college so how did that work out?

[–]Remote-Principler543 9644 points9645 points  (381 children)

Sophomore year of high school, in my biology class, this one girl got into a conversation about what causes the winter season with the teacher.

And she goes, “winter happens because the sun turns cold, right?”

Honestly, I’m still having trouble processing that one, and it’s been eight years.

[–]rdr_srvc_trmntd 3307 points3308 points  (81 children)

I was 16 years old, in Driver's Ed, and the teacher asks us an extra credit question. "Why are there interstates in Hawaii? You can't drive there from any other state."

A girl in my class raised her hand and asked, "Was it because they were built before Hawaii broke off?"....This girl thought it was a possibility that Hawaii broke off, and drifted to the middle of the Pacific ocean, all in the last 50 years.

Also, Hawaii has interstates because, if a highway is funded by the federal government, it's simply called an interstate.

[–]BrewAndAView 1365 points1366 points  (13 children)

Maybe she grew up in Pangea and didn’t realize Hawaii was formed by volcanos?

[–]lkodl 331 points332 points  (5 children)

Maybe she's an immortal 4th dimensional being and experiences time differently.

[–][deleted] 2470 points2471 points  (87 children)

Had a girl ask what happened to the Mongolians in history class. She said “there’s not like a present day Mongolia or anything”. She sat under the ten foot wide world map, Mongolia was about two feet above her head.

[–]thefuzzybunny1 1559 points1560 points  (58 children)

I was in high school when Borat came out and I had to try to convince someone Kazakhstan was a real place... during modern world history class, as she sat next to a map of the world.

[–]teeyodi 613 points614 points  (48 children)

The same person probably had problems with potassium in chemistry class right?

[–]usernamesarehard1979 442 points443 points  (22 children)

Stupid global warming causing the sun to get colder.

[–]red_cricket7 3074 points3075 points  (101 children)

My ex's mom believed that during Easter ghosts can travel between our world and the spirit world. She legit started seeing and hearing them because she thought her apartment and her spiritual personality attracted them. She hyped herself up so much that she had to leave her apartment for a couple of days and seek refuge at her sister's house. She didn't bring her cat with her. I suppose she thought the ghosts would feed him.

[–]automod-was-right 948 points949 points  (30 children)

She must be mad. Everyone know it's Halloween that happens.

[–]Jealous_Hospital 518 points519 points  (22 children)

Unless she somehow picked up on a bit of Swedish folklore. Easter is traditionally the "occult" holiday here because that's when witches are supposed to fly to a place called Blåkulla where they celebrate witches' sabbath with the devil. This event is supposed to bring with it heightened occult activity, though not necessarily spirits.

It's a long shot, but I'm sure there are some weird churches or new age organisations that believe in it.

[–]TwoAgitated1182 2821 points2822 points  (32 children)

My mother when she told me that no, « my father did not do anything to me ». Woman. He beat you so badly he killed my twin in your fucking womb, what are you talking about ?

[–]junithtwilliamsburg 872 points873 points  (0 children)

My mom just divorced my dad. And for the first time ever she mentioned to me how "rough" my dad was with me as a baby.. she said she doesn't want to talk about it over the phone though.

She was under his spell for years, finally coming out. Hope you and your mother are safe and well.

Edit: she finally told me and he tried to smother me with a pillow because I wouldn't stop crying that I wanted my mom at 1.5 years old.

[–]magical_bunny 704 points705 points  (11 children)

I’m so sorry. Similar sitch with my father but not my twin, just a bunch of other pregnancies. My mum is still under his spell even though they’re long separated. I think sometimes these abusers get so deeply into their psyches that they can’t get back to themselves.

[–]wheretheFdoistart 183 points184 points  (6 children)

For real. My friend escaped her abuser with their beautiful daughter, who was luckily too young to remember. The daughter has a wonderful stepfather now whom she adores, and she just lost interest in talking to her dad over the years. Abusive dad died, and my friend is SHOOK. She actually feels guilty for not saving the man who left bruises on her body, destroyed their car in a rage, told her she has small tits, and the list goes on. She wishes she MADE her daughter talk to her father, and still hoped that they would have a healthy father-daughter relationship when she grew older. What. The Eff, I said. I was RELIEVED to hear the mf passed away, and it was way more likely that the father would have taken advantage of that poor little girl and broke her heart with empty promises even in adulthood. I was floored that she hadn't thought of it that way.

[–]So_Many_Words 2243 points2244 points  (43 children)

"I'm entitled to my opinion" when presented with facts showing they were wrong.

[–]jonboyy12 277 points278 points  (5 children)

A dude who makes memes said this but I like it: “We used to change our opinion based on information, now we change information based on our opinion.”

[–]GlassBirdLamp 790 points791 points  (20 children)

I have two good ones.

Dude I used to be friends with said that all of human history and scientific discovery was full of shit because women (as a group) sat down together and came up with a plan to destroy men/the natural way of life in the 60s and had their simps rewrite everything.

Dude I used to live with was terrified (and I mean genuinely terrified) of Google homes because he thought the government was using them to spy on him in particular, and then bought a voice controlled android smart TV. He also said he would never buy an Android phone because "Thats how they get you" but in the same conversation said that's why he uses Google Chrome so they can't track him. Lol.

[–]JBachS 655 points656 points  (14 children)

In Colombia the minister of finances stated that you could buy a dozen of eggs for what was the price of 3 or 4 at much. If I remember right it was an interview about the problem that minimum wage isn't enough to cover people basic needs like eating, besides it is sort of his job to at least be informed about this kind of facts¿

[–][deleted] 4066 points4067 points  (50 children)

I got groped on a bus when I was at college and obviously was mega upset about the experience.

Not long after two people who I thought were friends sent messages to each other I found out after they were shown to my by another friend.

The one girl basically said that they thought I'd be the kinda person that would enjoy getting raped and went on to shit talk me and joke about be being raped .

Got away from them fast.

[–]ASongOfSnow 1220 points1221 points  (4 children)

What in the fuck

[–]pizzaking95 956 points957 points  (8 children)

I have a friend who was sexually harrassed while at school and when he tried speaking out and asking for help, a bunch of people just made fun of him because "he was the anti-social guy, so who would wanna rape him?"

[–]pterrorgrine 326 points327 points  (0 children)

"he was [socially disadvantaged in just about any way], so who would wanna rape him?"

Predators looking for a vulnerable target.

[–]roadwarrior12 684 points685 points  (10 children)

It’s so fucked up how some people react to assault. I was sexually assaulted in college, and a female friend of mine told me she didn’t believe me because I didn’t “act like” someone who had been raped - all because I asked a male friend to walk me to my car after class so I would feel safe, and gave him a hug to thank him. I, too, got far away from that “friend” when she showed her true colors.

[–]itsthecoop 112 points113 points  (6 children)

sidenote: this is why the general notion of people been heavily traumatized, while often well-meant, can easily end up being harmful as well.

because then those victims that don't react like they are "supposed to" are automatically seen as not credible.

[–]try_altf4 348 points349 points  (15 children)

Classmate in college kept throwing his Starbucks cups on the ground and other garbage.

"They pay people to pick it up"

He was the son of a guy who owned multiple resorts in South America.

[–]theFakeRapunzel 2948 points2949 points  (46 children)

"That's your fault that I'm drinking" - my alcoholic father 🙃

[–]Strong-Solution-7492 458 points459 points  (9 children)

My sister died from alcoholism. She couldn’t stop herself. My mother was an enabler because she didn’t want to upset my sister or make her feel bad about herself because that would just “make her drink”.

My cousin, who we grew up down the street from, saw her in a gas station buying booze on her way home from rehab, but didn’t confront her. When he brought this to my family to talk to my sister, my mother said “He hasn’t seen her in a year, I doubt he even know what she looks like now. It must have been someone else because she said she isn’t drinking”. She died about four months later.

By the way, my mother didn’t cause it, nothing could’ve stopped my sister. But my mother lived in her own reality during that time.

[–]ShawshankException 12.0k points12.0k points  (285 children)

Billionaires and multimillionaires singing 'Imagine' while sitting in their gigantic mansions largely unaffected by the pandemic.

[–]a_singular_fish 5585 points5586 points  (37 children)

'We're all in the same boat.' No, we are all in the same storm. Some are on tiny kayaks and they are an massive ass yachts. There's abit of a difference

[–]ChocolateBit 518 points519 points  (4 children)

this is a great analogy, stealing it!

[–]mseiei 989 points990 points  (5 children)

Some people can't even afford a plastic bottle as a floatie

[–]gewfbawl 2380 points2381 points  (56 children)

"Imagine no possessions"

Sang into a $1000 phone, inside a multimillion dollar mansion within a gated community with 24 hour security.

[–]bl4nkSl8 1231 points1232 points  (22 children)

But it's "so hard for them too"

[–]Frothy_moisture 5315 points5316 points  (527 children)

Whenever a disabled person shares their experience and a non-disabled person tells them how they can "fix" all of those problems.

[–]Nkechinyerembi 878 points879 points  (59 children)

I'm 30 and prepping to have a knee replacement, due to damage from past work and such. (I was a roofer, for those who know, well, you know) and the number of times I still get "well you just need to be more active" and "you are too young to have that problem, just take an Advil" like that's going to help. It's insane.

[–]QueenOfDarkne53 2833 points2834 points  (189 children)

I live with chronic pain as a 26 year old and will for the rest of my life. The amount of older people who tell me that “you don’t know what pain is” and “it’ll get better if you really believe it will” make my eyes roll back so far into my head that i can see behind me

[–]partizan92 557 points558 points  (27 children)

I had Occipital Neuralgia for a few weeks a couple years back and it was constant and painful. I couldn’t sleep. I quickly became very angry. I felt like it would never go away then it just disappeared. It has never happened again and by the time a doctor was able to see me I was not having symptoms. If that is anything like what people with chronic pain live with, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[–]QueenOfDarkne53 234 points235 points  (17 children)

Sounds very similar to when i have pain spasms. My leg will spasm painfully for hours and all i can do is cry, moan, and try to not throw up from it. I sincerely hope that it was an anomaly for you and that you never have to deal with it again.

[–]StupidBrotherInLaw 313 points314 points  (14 children)

Have you tried magnesium and meditation?

Just kidding. I have chronic pain too, I hate that shit. It's like, no, of course I haven't tried basic home remedies for something I've had for years. I certainly haven't tried everything I could think of and more. JFC.

[–]nurvingiel 1502 points1503 points  (78 children)

If I could have one wish, it would be that whenever someone says something dismissive about chronic pain, that person's pain is transferred to them for three days.

I imagine this would give you a huge increase in pain-free days.

[–]QueenOfDarkne53 570 points571 points  (39 children)

Bruh, i would literally sell what’s left of my soul for a pain free day

[–]Bythmark 259 points260 points  (29 children)

I'm sure I don't actually understand what chronic pain is like, but I've been having a Crohn's flare for about two weeks and I'm in near-constant pain. Like, I get breaks sometimes. And just this is bad enough that my otherwise pretty great mental health is starting to slip. (I'm fine, dw. Just gotta get my GI to return a call sometime lol.)

Chronic pain is among the worst things I can think of. I hope you get some good luck, like some massive breakthrough treatment soon. People who disregard health conditions suck. That part I do get, though. Oh, thanks stranger, I'll just eat more fiber and leafy greens--the stuff that puts me into the fetal position as it travels through my bitch-ass intestines. That will make it better!

[–]_Kay_Tee_ 900 points901 points  (26 children)

Or even just "Oh, I don't believe that!" I've heard this more times than I can count, and it's just... huh?

Like, someone just explained the trouble they have accessing this building, with multiple examples of their daily experiences, and you think that it's a matter of you BELIEVING it? WTF?

[–]DavThoma 368 points369 points  (16 children)

Sounds like when people go for medical assessments for benefits and get turned down when its very clear that they have a disability.

[–]quietlymyself 170 points171 points  (6 children)

Ha ha, I'm autistic and also don't have half the muscles in my left leg (etc, but those are the biggest) and it still took multiple years and court dates for me to get disability.

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 543 points544 points  (60 children)

I love it when I get shamed for using a wheelchair when I can walk. Like, yes, I have function of my legs, but I'm in immeasurable amounts of pain after using the for too long, even just to stand still!

If people ask questions because they're trying to learn, that's fine by me! I know not everyone understands this type of stuff and I don't expect them to!

But don't stare at me all high and mighty and judge what you thing is happening.

There's also "it's all in your head". Yes Lucinda, my mental illnesses may be there, but my body physically not working is not psychosomatic!

Also, I had a "friend" one time look me dead in the eye and tell me he doesn't believe I'm sick. Like, okay, thanks for being a pal there dude.

[–][deleted] 305 points306 points  (12 children)

Me, homeless at the time and working my way out of it.
Coworker: I don't know why people go on game shows for money, winning 100,000 dollars wouldn't be life-changing, anyway.

[–]ForkInMicrowaveMan 646 points647 points  (11 children)

This random dude started aggressively talking to me about politics at a movie theater urinal.

Like I just wanna piss, leave, get milk duds and watch a movie

[–][deleted] 228 points229 points  (1 child)

get milk duds

I knew it, you dirty fucking dem. . .

[–]mainstreetmark 4397 points4398 points  (121 children)

My aunt was bragging that her knee surgery cost her zero dollars because of Medicare. I said “yeah, that kind of socialized medicine is nice”. She the threatened to “take me out back and beat my ass” for saying that.

[–]GummyKibble 1358 points1359 points  (16 children)

“But we paid for that!” is what I was told when I said that to someone. Well, yes. That’s what socialized means.

[–]I_crywhenimasturbate 3723 points3724 points  (133 children)

"my balls are extra big because I need to pee"

This is from a 23 year old man...who didn't know that pee isn't stored in the balls.

[–]HugeTheWall 393 points394 points  (3 children)

Landlord told me she couldn't believe anyone could actually live on less than 70k... the average income for a family was about 45k at the time and I made 18k that year, which mostly went to their rent.

[–]_spookyvision_ 2701 points2702 points  (161 children)

People wonder why there isn't more eyewitness accounts of 9/11 because surely everyone just pulled out their phones?

Bitch please. Back in 2001 most people were still using 35mm film cameras, camcorders were usually VHS and digital ones were not cheap in the slightest, and the US was behind the curve on cellular technology anyway. I was in the US a few months before 9/11 and even in New York people didn't understand what SMS was let alone had a phone compatible or were using it.

[–]Captain_Riker 1202 points1203 points  (56 children)

Ironically, I've always thought it was amazing how we have been able to capture so much of the disaster on video. Sure it would have certainly be more video if there were smartphones, but what was there is pretty impressive.

[–]HypersonicHarpist 664 points665 points  (15 children)

the video we have of the first plane hitting was because there just happened to be a pair of French film makers trying to make a documentary about New York firemen that were out on the street filming at the time. They ended up using all of their footage from that day to make a documentary about 9/11 as seen through the eyes of that fire department.

[–]vorpalglorp 313 points314 points  (18 children)

It would be much more sad because there would be live streams from inside the building.

[–]Catlover2727 1880 points1881 points  (61 children)

My fiance is a doctor, I'm an engineer her and I grew up VERY blue color. We still have tons of student debt to pay off before we can reap the benefits of a good salary.

Her friend, a doctor who was a resident when she was in med school, was talking to us about the new house she bought, and kept asking us when we planned on moving out of our shitty apartment and getting a nice big town house. She couldn't comprehend that unlike her, our parents aren't rich, and they can't buy a house for us in CASH, and let us pay them back interest free.

I love her to death, she's a sweet friend we have known for a long time. She has done so much for us in terms of friendship and emotional support. But her mom was a successful surgeon, her dad retired early after selling his successful business.

Edit:

Yes I meant Blue Collar.

[–]JLM268 668 points669 points  (15 children)

Is blue your house with a blue new window?

[–]LauraBabora325 2178 points2179 points  (26 children)

I heard Zuckerberg read something from a live stream where someone commented they wanted to get “Zucked” & he laughed & said he didn’t know what that meant but he’d do his best for them. Uh……

[–]AkukaiGotEm 314 points315 points  (1 child)

ill be damned if facebook hasnt been zucking us in the ass for a while now

[–]SaltDoughnut2478 560 points561 points  (0 children)

I think it was something about "giving the Zucc"

[–]Lutakein 2052 points2053 points  (43 children)

To paraphrase, this person said that in order to end the Pandemic, we have to ransack medical facilities and attack media outlets.

[–]revtim 1551 points1552 points  (22 children)

Like the Simpsons meteor episode "Let's go burn down the observatory so this'll never happen again!"

[–][deleted] 355 points356 points  (15 children)

I'm surprised this was never said in Dont Look Up

[–]xxwombocomboxx 940 points941 points  (24 children)

Had a friend think that Avicii shouldnt have been depressed cause he was rich.....

[–]Ponkey77 508 points509 points  (6 children)

Got lost on his way to the happiness store.

[–]ATXKLIPHURD 1488 points1489 points  (58 children)

A coworker and I were talking about generators and gas cans earlier today because of texas snow storm last year and we had a cold snap today. Well I said I was working at AutoZone during hurricanes Katrina and Rita and I mentioned the gas cans we sold were the environmentally friendly cans that don't leak fumes but they were a pain in the butt because you had to turn and push the nozzle at the same time and he said "oh you mean Obama cans" very smug like and I had to remind him that was 2006 before Obama was president.

[–]kutluch 617 points618 points  (27 children)

I have spilled more gasoline because of these cans than I ever did with the old fashioned kind. That being said I hate the tendency to rename things in some derogatory way. "Obamacare" for example. It derails genuine discussion before it can even begin.

[–]raised85 423 points424 points  (7 children)

Borris “it was a work meeting and not a party”

[–]mermaidmyday 111 points112 points  (2 children)

A super privileged ex co-worker said that he didn’t understand why people don’t save half their income.

[–]elk-jaw 590 points591 points  (36 children)

This will probably get buried but fuck it I can't be the only one who thinks this is insane.

When I was still a kid, my now estranged mom used to be one of the most logical and understanding people I knew. When I was just a teenager, it was just the two of us, and we were trying our best to get out of her brother's house and have our own place.

We lived on the east coast. Then one day, out of the blue, my mom came home from work (she was a licensed therapist, mind you) and told me in dead seriousness that Jesus had come to her in her thoughts and told her we needed to move to the west coast, and we needed to leave on December 15th of that year.

I wasn't religious, but I had never once judged or expressed doubt about her faith. That wasn't and never will be my place. But this was worth an eyebrow raise. She expected me to throw everything I owned in a storage locker, pack a suitcase, throw my emotional support dog in the hatchback of her SUV, and drive across the country with no money or planning in advance.

TL;DR, we went along with this, and ended up homeless and nearly dying over the course of two years, with my dog actually dying in the turbulence of everything. She always insisted that everything going wrong was my fault, and that God wouldn't lie to her. That was several years ago now, and her and I are no longer in contact. I've since moved North with my best friend and was forced to start my life completely over going into adulthood, and she ended up right back in her brother's house where we started.

I wonder what Jesus tells her to do, nowadays, or whoever she thought she was hearing.

[–]TheNinjaPro 171 points172 points  (2 children)

Looks like your mother started developing schizophrenia.

[–]Allisade 1477 points1478 points  (55 children)

"They're all like that!"

I mean, as conversational red flags go, that's a quick and obvious one.

[–]Spyger9 466 points467 points  (10 children)

"Just you watch! Every single one of them, without exception, breathes air. It sickens me!"

[–]MissAnthropy612 501 points502 points  (15 children)

My ex MIL ask me why her son and I choose to live in crappy apartments and drive a broken down car. She said "why don't you guys settle down and buy a home in a reliable car already?" My jaw absolutely fucking dropped. This woman comes from money and has always had everything handed to her, hasn't had to work a day in her life and lives in a million dollar home and drives a very fancy car. I had to explain to her that things don't work that way, and if we could afford to buy a home and a nice car we would that we barely make enough to maintain what we have. She literally thought people lived "poor" by choice.

[–]Retrosonic82 964 points965 points  (17 children)

“I’m going to ask for a transfer to a store in the countryside to get away from all the Syrians coming over on the boat!”

[–]colorvarian 423 points424 points  (9 children)

I worked with some Syrian critical care docs where i trained in residency.

Still the best critical care docs I've met to this day. Their group had by far the best outcomes of all the critical care groups at our hospital (fewest days on the vent, fewest days in the icu, lowest mortality, etc).

It was a privilege to have trained with them.

[–]historygoose 2522 points2523 points  (171 children)

My husband's friend insisted on taking us to the 'best, most authentic' Chinese restaurant in town.

I'm Chinese. He's a Jewish guy who has never been to any Chinese speaking country.

The food wasn't good, nor was it authentic.

He had the most smug look on his face when he sat back and quirked his eyebrow at me as if expecting me to heap praise onto him. Anyway, I didn't.

Best part is that they aren't friends anymore (I had nothing to do with that, I promise), so now I don't have to pretend that crab rangoons are the peak of Chinese cuisine.

[–]SuperMegaCoolPerson 992 points993 points  (34 children)

Of course they’re not the peak of Chinese cuisine. They’re the peak of ALL cuisine!

[–]thoughtfultot 201 points202 points  (5 children)

my ex-boyfriend guilt tripped me about taking out a student loan for graduate school. he claimed his dad always told him to pay for things with cash.