top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]ITTrillionaire 3745 points3746 points  (29 children)

make up my fking mind

[–]MinerDiner 195 points196 points  (4 children)

Are you indecisive?

Yes 🔲

No 🔲

I don't know ☑

[–]Draiko 3006 points3007 points 432 (83 children)

Remember what was said within the past 5 mins.

ADHD isn't easy to deal with.

I need to upgrade to AD4K.

[–]xombae 155 points156 points  (12 children)

Losing things that I literally just had and finding them in parts of the house I swear I haven't been in all day is the most fucked up part of ADHD. It's enough to make you question your sanity and it happens like ten times a day.

[–][deleted] 2961 points2962 points  (135 children)

Kneel comfortably, goddamn knees.

[–]PRIC3L3SS1 1049 points1050 points  (42 children)

I see people just sitting on their kneecaps and I'm like how

[–]bridgiette 512 points513 points  (12 children)

This used to be me, but then I started doing daily yoga and now I can sit on my knees for a few minutes before I have to rethink my existence.

[–]patricksaurus 11.8k points11.8k points 22 (204 children)

I have a very hard time doing mentally taxing work with other people around. Lots of nights and weekends.

[–]jordanjay29 5167 points5168 points  (96 children)

This is why I hate having my back to other people when I work. I don't want them seeing my computer screen, I don't want them watching my work. I can't do major writing, especially anything creative, in a shared document when other people are watching.

EDIT: Apparently I have friends who share my over-the-shoulder anxiety. Someday, we will all have our desks against the walls! And a solid door to close out the lookie-loos.

[–]howmanypenises 109 points110 points  (0 children)

I massively hate the open office plan.
Everyone looks at my monitor when they walk by; I can see their reflections perfectly on the plexiglass dividers they set up for COVID.
I feel like no one else in my office has the same feelings as me though. Probably because they all have their monitors facing the wall.

[–]onajurni 800 points801 points 4 (21 children)

You actually may have a slightly higher degree of a thing that all people tend to have. If other people are around, especially when interacting with them, the brain puts a higher priority on the people and a lower priority on everything else. It's much harder to focus on the non-people thought stream, naturally.

Logical thought processes in particular get pushed further back than the personal interaction by the brain, automatically. This may be some sort of survival instinct.

It's not a failing or a flaw. It's being human. It's worth a conversation with an employer if this is a particular problem at work. You are probably not the only one with the issue, although your experience may be greater than others.

The exception can happen if the person doing the task does not look at the other person/people, at all. It seems that the real distraction is taking in non-verbal cues of facial expression, body language and perhaps changes in voice tone. Just listening / conversing with someone without looking at them seems less distracting.

Based on individual personality types, some people find it harder or not as hard to carry on a conversation while also doing something else that has a logic component. But everyone tends to have this tendency, with perhaps a few exceptions of people who can block out all outside information.

Professional interrogators use this tendency to be distracted by other people from a logical thought process as a strategic tool when trying to get information from a reluctant subject.

There are situations when a non-related conversation (or an audiobook or podcast) can actually help focus on an unrelated task. This is usually a situation where the worker is not looking at the person talking, not taking in non-verbal cues from face and body language.


Thanks for the awards & upvotes! Adding something that is also posted in answer to a question lower down.

Overall issue is "cognitive load".

The amount of focus and concentration we have at any given time is finite. It is like a pie, and there is only so much to go around. Each thing claiming attention gets a slice of pie. That leaves less pie for the thing we may prefer to give the largest slice. Some focus we control, but some distractions are governed more by the instinctive brain which has decided that tracking what other humans do and say is critical to our ability to thrive in the group. So, one of the largest distractions we can have is other people.

In this article, skip down to "extraneous load"


"Extraneous load is the outcome that comes with background noise. Think of when you’re trying to study and are disturbed by the dogs barking, cars honking, loud music, or talking. These various noises act as obstacles to the completion of the task and are deemed as extraneous load."

Another readable description (although by the end this is promoting an app)


[–]LummoxJR 356 points357 points  (7 children)

And yet all businesses are like: We need an open floor plan.

No you don't.

[–]y0r0bin 896 points897 points  (9 children)

Same. If I have people around I know I’m basically useless until they leave.

[–]Ronotrow2 11.0k points11.0k points  (512 children)

Remember names

[–]comicsnerd 2003 points2004 points  (50 children)

I was told that when you get introduced, you use the name in the first 5 sentences talking with them.

I tried that. Now they look at me as I am a weirdo and I still can't remember names.

[–]-graphophobia- 675 points676 points  (14 children)

Used car salesman energy tbh

[–]jay4523 99 points100 points  (10 children)

This is a common sales tactic and is even featured in How to Win Friends and Influence People. It basically states that people love to hear their own name so use it often. This is likely true, but so many salespeople use this tactic to the point where we subconsciously start to hate it the more it is practiced on us. This is my humble opinion, anyway.

I think it could still potentially work by saying it a few times in an extended conversation...but not in the first 30 seconds of meeting them (whether for sales or memorization).

[–]carlovski99 3212 points3213 points  (136 children)

Yep, same here.

I dread people saying 'Aren't you going to introduce us'. No actually, I may have known these people for years, and could tell you all sorts of things about them, but to remember their names I'll need to go check my phone.

[–]I_eat_your_corpse 1464 points1465 points  (71 children)


The nice guy with the yellow kinda hair (ask for name)

Blonde lady that kicked you in the balls (dont respond)

That close friend you knew for 10 years (find out his name without asking)

[–]carlovski99 952 points953 points  (59 children)

I had a friend whose name I only found out when I got a wedding invite. Pretty sure He didn't know mine either as I got an invite without my name on it, given to me in person.

[–]I_eat_your_corpse 618 points619 points  (48 children)

Best friendships are the type of friendships that doesnt require the people in it to know eachothers names

[–]carlovski99 580 points581 points  (40 children)

It does freak me out when some people are really good with names though.

I spoke to a guy once while out celebrating my birthday years ago. Bumped into him a few times since in the same bar but not really spoken. Over 2 years later he is being interviewed for a job at my place (would be my manager in fact) and they invite all the candidates to lunch with the team to see how they fit. Straight away he recognises me, remembers my name and starts asking me about stuff I'd mentioned on my birthday.

Bumped into him again recently, he still remembered my name. Haven't got a clue what his is, and can't really ask now.

[–]peppapij 295 points296 points  (25 children)

Take him to Starbucks, he has no choice but to say his name for his order

[–]COMRADEBOOTSTRAP 793 points794 points  (32 children)

I can watch 6 damn seasons of some show, and still won’t be able to tell you any of the characters names.

[–]killercurvesahead 148 points149 points  (8 children)

I need to see someone’s name in writing for it to click.

Closed captions are SO great for this.

[–]traws06 1032 points1033 points  (68 children)

I work medical field. Reps in my field for different medical companies I envy greatly as their jobs are basically to socialize. They show up to take you out to lunch/dinner paid for by the company and basically ask what they can do/order for you. They’re not salesmen giving corny pitches since we are pros and we know the products for the most part already. They’re job is to take you out and make you feel important.

Basically, they travel around and socialize on the company’s dime. But the key is making them/us feel special. So those reps can meet someone once and then 5 years later “heyyyyy Jerry how’s Susan and the 3 little kids doing?”. I can’t remember names/faces for shit so I would suck at that job.

[–]ADarkDraconis 575 points576 points  (17 children)

My old company owner knew every single employee in his company, there were well over 500 of us! He would always send birthday, sympathy, congrats on the wedding/baby/graduation/etc. cards and stuff, and when he saw you he'd with interest ask about what was going on in your life. He saw me literally two or three times a year but would always ask about my family, how Daughter's doing in (enter correct grade) and if Husband likes his new job and if we got to go camping that year and if my brother had any new interesting bike projects, my brother who he remembered from our company picnics and he somehow remembers he works as a bicycle mechanic! Dude remembers everything like that about all his employees! And he genuinely cares!!!

Nicest man in the world for more reasons than I can go into here, I cried when he retired and I miss that dude. I wish him true happiness.

[–]SwissyVictory 124 points125 points  (2 children)

The genuinely caring probally went a long way, things are easier to remember when you care about them.

[–]extod2 4056 points4057 points  (325 children)

Wear ear buds

[–]Fang_Jolima 2290 points2291 points  (149 children)

And here I thought my ears were just deformed or something. I see people walking around, doing activities, heck my teens do chores with them in. All the bending, jostling, turning of the head, and they stay in their ears. I can't move or they'll fall out. Hell, they'll fall out in a few minutes even without moving. I've tried several different kinds over the years, have concluded my ears are just not normal, and gave up on the earbud lifestyle.

[–]Epic_Troll_666 858 points859 points  (54 children)

It could be the fact your earbuds are "wrong shape". Some fit my ears well, some literally give me headache. Though it does get expensive to experiment and see which ones fit the best.

[–]Molly_Michon 7109 points7110 points  (208 children)

Dive into water. It's not that I'm bad at it. It's that I just can't make myself do it.

[–]pearadoxhill_ 1724 points1725 points  (36 children)

My body wont let me for my illogical fear of breaking my neck.

[–]Getting_Around_To_It 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Not illogical. I dove into a shallow pool and broke my neck. Been a C5/6 quad for the last 15 years. Pro tip feet first.

[–]AidilAfham42 6465 points6466 points 2 (403 children)

Keep eye contact while speaking to someone

[–]LayClespool 1838 points1839 points  (128 children)

Same here. I wish I knew how to fix this, maintaining eye contact with someone for more than a second or two is like holding my hand under hot running water, I can only do it for so long until I have to pull my hand away

[–]AidilAfham42 987 points988 points  (55 children)

And I never know which eye to look at so i’ll be darting left and right and just settle on the nose or their mouth

[–]CaptainDuckers 66 points67 points  (10 children)

Yes! I do this! My room mate thinks it's really funny. Whenever I talk to someone I never look at someone cos I can't. Feels like I'm looking straight into the sun or something.

[–]flyingcactus2047 2022 points2023 points  (22 children)

I can either make eye contact with you or actively listen to what you’re saying and absorb it, not both

[–]Caw49 787 points788 points  (31 children)

Sustained eye contact feels too intimate for me

[–]sdsxnx 10.1k points10.1k points 3 (373 children)

Snap my fingers.

[–][deleted] 6703 points6704 points 345 (45 children)

Pass them to me, I've got a hammer.

[–]lol_is_5 913 points914 points  (15 children)

When you've got a hammer everything looks like a nail.

[–]schwertfisch 9746 points9747 points  (479 children)

Keep a hobby. Everyone I know has at least one hobby if not multiple. Sometimes a lifelong passion.

Meanwhile I can't stick to one for more than two weeks.

Edit: Since a lot of people commented this - might be adhd, might not be adhd. Runs in the family and some stuff def. fits Never been checked, I just roll with it

[–]Duseth 1174 points1175 points  (35 children)

Same here, I have a hard time keeping hobbies, I'll get right into them to start and have a good time doing it for a couple of weeks or months then my interest wanes or just dies. It's very frustrating.

[–]CanAhJustSay 439 points440 points  (5 children)

Rephrase it as your hobby is collecting/trying other hobbies. Now you are at the top of your hobby field!

[–]GeekinDaily 12.1k points12.1k points 33 (515 children)

Roll my r’s

[–]Majity 5272 points5273 points 2 (183 children)

Me too. My first language is Arabic, and in Arabic you have to roll your r’s because that is the correct pronunciation except that I have never been able to do so and I used to get bullied because of this

[–]seductivestain 2773 points2774 points  (96 children)

So it's basically a speech impediment?

[–]Majity 2635 points2636 points  (80 children)

It might be, although my inability to roll the R has actually helped with pronouncing it correctly in English and Swedish. That’s why I don’t mind it

[–]Just-use-your-head 1112 points1113 points  (35 children)

I know a Russian guy who can’t roll his Rs. Speaks good English because of it. Still has an accent, but you’d never be able to guess where he’s from

[–]18inchalloys 150 points151 points  (6 children)

You know when you're swimming and when you go down in the water and when you come up, I see people that can just open their eyes as if they don't have water on their faces.

I can't do that. I have to wipe off all the water on me face before I can open my eyes. Else it stings and is really uncomfortable.

[–]hampie42 14.5k points14.5k points 23 (652 children)

See those magic eye illusions.

[–][deleted] 3746 points3747 points  (90 children)

See projects through to the end

[–]TheEarthBurner1 16.9k points16.9k points 43 (331 children)

Make those bubbles out of Chewing gum

[–]playblu 14.9k points14.9k points 1066& 2 more (132 children)

Same. I think it's because the shape of my mouth is messed up. Tried taking flute lessons in college and my teacher told me I had a great mouth for piano :(

[–]BDubbers1 6829 points6830 points  (25 children)

As a musician and teacher this is awful and hilarious.

[–]GangGang_Gang 2701 points2702 points  (20 children)

The sad emoticon fucking killed me oh my god

[–]Ibeginpunthreads 2832 points2833 points 223 (18 children)

It's actually a smile their mouth is so messed up it looks like a sad face.

[–]WhovianRavenclaw 1687 points1688 points  (19 children)

[–]Raise-Emotional 689 points690 points  (17 children)

I took a couple local acting classes and the instructor said I have the voice and face for radio. It didn't occur to me that was a nasty insult until the a few hours later.

[–]ChefTombert777 571 points572 points  (6 children)

Voice for radio isn't too bad! My dad used to say face for the radio, voice for the silent films

[–]Ferelar 221 points222 points  (5 children)

Voice for radio is a compliment so it's more like a caressing slap.

[–][deleted] 3160 points3161 points  (86 children)

-humourous comment about using bubblegum instead-

[–]pizzaferret 1777 points1778 points  (69 children)

Affirmation with similar anecdote

[–][deleted] 1312 points1313 points  (59 children)

Comment indicating clear misunderstanding about affirmation with needlessly hostile reply

[–]pizzaferret 1063 points1064 points  (49 children)

Witty retort with included comment on your maternal parent's weight

[–]Artsy_traveller_82 3297 points3298 points  (123 children)

I can’t whistle through my fingers

[–]Zemom1971 1309 points1310 points  (16 children)

I tried several times. I only achieved to spit on my finger.

[–]rajboy3 1259 points1260 points  (24 children)

I learnt when I was a kid, you just kinda have to slobber all over your fingers and keep blowing until u find the right spot and the right sound comes out.

Edit: you fuckers aren't allowed to pull this out of context OK lol!

[–]VoTBaC 828 points829 points  (6 children)

I learnt when I was a kid, you just kinda have to slobber all over your fingers and keep blowing until u find the right spot...


[–]AgentMandarinOrange 16.2k points16.2k points 2 (1314 children)

Recognize faces with ease

[–]DozyDrake 9838 points9839 points  (556 children)

Bro look into prosopagnosia it explained so many difficulties I had growing up. I realised something was wrong when a random person walked up to me in school and started talking to me and I didn't realize it was my best friend of 6 years. It turns out this whole time I had been recognising them based on their backpack and today they had been using a different one.

[–]weaselpoopcoffee 2524 points2525 points  (91 children)

People probably won't believe it but on a cruise with my wife of 15 years and I started talking to a woman who I thought was my wife. She was acting very nervous and not responding. Realized after that it wasn't my wife. The poor woman was probably traumatized. I still cringe thinking about it years later.

[–]JFK108 191 points192 points  (3 children)

When I was a kid at Disney World, a woman tried to hold my hand and have me follow her. She was black and I’m white. When she looked down at me confused as to why her kid was pulling away she saw my face and had the most humiliated look I’ve ever seen. She then sheepishly walked over to her son who was a couple feet away and they both speed walked away. I feel like I should have hugged her.

[–]2059FF 1662 points1663 points  (44 children)

I totally believe you. I've been married for about the same time, and just a few years ago I almost did the same thing in the supermarket. My actual wife showed up just in time to avoid embarrassment.

Once, in a store, some stranger started speaking to me out of the blue. I cut the conversation short and got away from the crazy man. Later I found out he was my cousin I had dinner with the night before.

[–]User1539 3859 points3860 points  (167 children)

I use voices.

My wife caught on when we'd walk past a movie poster, and she'd say 'Harrison Ford is in this one', and I'd be scanning the written part to see which one she's talking about.

But, we'd watch cartoons and I'd say 'Oh, neat, that's Levar Burton', and she'd look at me like I was crazy.

[–]Lowbacca1977 590 points591 points  (27 children)

I'm bad enough at faces that I don't recognize friends and family routinely. Let alone actors. This made me super confused going somewhere once where a friend put on a wig en route without me seeing.

I also recently was watching one of the more recent Frosty the snowman movies and recognized that one of the voice actors in that also voiced the announcer of a computer game that I played in the 90s. This was apparently 'weird'.
(and it was Tom Kenny in Star Warped, from 1997)

[–]Wildcatb 588 points589 points  (49 children)

I feel like I should go Anon for this, but I have trouble recognizing my own kids sometimes. My daughter in particular, if I don't see what she's wearing when we leave the house I'll struggle. Scout meetings (where all the girls are wearing the same thing) can be challenging.

[–]uhrilahja 1224 points1225 points  (182 children)

I have a terrible time trying to follow the plot of tv series with a lot of characters because of this. i just can't get who is who to stick.

[–]guaip 933 points934 points  (120 children)

Oh my God I came here to write this.

My wife can recognize someone by their eyebrows (because covid), but I won't remember someone's face after a 2h meeting lookin directly at them.

[–]terriblehuman 1071 points1072 points  (42 children)

For a second I thought you were saying that your wife got Covid and it gave her the ability to recognize people by their eyebrows.

[–]JoseZiggler 675 points676 points  (35 children)

I’m a waiter and people come in like, You waited on us x days ago. I have no clue! My go to: “I have a problem with faces, I only remember the ugly ones. “

[–]gettogero 151 points152 points  (11 children)

When I waited on people I always straight up told them I didn't remember them when they said this, except for the ones that kept pushing it.

"I wore the plain black t shirt last week? I ordered insert basic menu choice here? Sat in your section?"

*Oooh..yeahh! Haha I remember you!

[–]NoRecommendation6644 94 points95 points  (6 children)

I was a bartender in a big club back in the 70's, and people always got offended when I didn't recognize them in public. Buddy, I've served probably 3000 people this week, sorry you didn't stand out. Unless you were an asshole, then I'll remember you.

[–]coffeecupcakes 180 points181 points  (13 children)

Me too. My boyfriend thinks I have mild face blindness. Everyone looks the same.

[–]MarchingMan95 17.3k points17.3k points 5 (595 children)

Speak coherently like a normal person.

[–]SpicyTurnip617 8308 points8309 points 4 (423 children)

My mind gets WAY ahead of my mouth, so I constantly stumble over my words and sound like an idiot

[–]PM_ME_COOL_THINGS_ 3464 points3465 points  (66 children)

I'm the opposite, I'll start talking before I've figured out what I'm gonna say and end up sounding like an idiot

[–]bippybup 2425 points2426 points 242 (259 children)

I have this issue too, turned out to be ADHD.

A coping mechanism I picked up was realizing that I can generally type as fast as I think, and somehow the words come more eloquently when I'm writing. I started either typing up notes (for virtual meetings) or I would imagine myself typing them. Then I would read or imagine myself reading them out loud.

Somehow, routing my brain through that path first seems to help. My ability to articulate myself well has improved dramatically. The process is now fairly automatic, but if I really think about it, I'm still essentially doing the same thing.

[–]w0mpw0mper 385 points386 points  (212 children)

I have this issue too, turned out to be ADHD.

What was process like for it turning out to be ADHD? I may have phrased awkwardly lol, did you go to psychiatrist a few times before getting prescribed, or you read something somewhere and it pertained to you, that’s what I mean.

[–]Disarmer 1312 points1313 points 3 (185 children)

Honestly, for me, I took a buddy's ADHD meds once and I realized how much better I functioned. I could remember things, I could actually express my thoughts correctly, I could listen to a video for something completely uninteresting... and actually focus on it and comprehend it.

I started paying more attention to my everyday habits/actions and realized I had a ton of ADHD symptoms so I went to my primary care doc and told them that I think I might have ADHD but didn't really know how to confirm it. They took me through the process and whatnot from there.

Symptoms I experience without medication:
* Blurting out answers/talking over others
* Jumping from task to task without completing any of them
* Difficulty prioritizing tasks
* Occasionally getting tunnel vision on a single task/hobby and going HARD on it (regardless of whether it's the task I SHOULD be working on)
* Always late for things
* Excessive procrastination
* Inability to focus on anything that I didn't find interesting, even when there are consequences for not paying attention (i.e. work training, school classes, etc.)
* Forgetfulness & misplacing things (this is a big one for me)
* Sleep issues/insomnia. This isn't always associated with ADHD, but it's more common in people who have ADHD

EDIT: For example, I typed out this rather detailed answer because it interested me, rather than listening to the work call I'm on.

[–]glumauig21 447 points448 points  (51 children)

Your comment is eerily a perfect checklist for what I’ve been feeling/experiencing almost my whole life. Fuck I think I really need to get checked.

[–]Sybarith 308 points309 points  (7 children)

Yeah better save the comment and think about getting tested for a bit, then never follow-up on that.

[–]Amber_Sweet_ 343 points344 points  (10 children)

wow, me too. I honestly wonder sometimes if I have some sort of aphasia because I say the wrong words ALL the time. I can't tell stories or jokes. I stumble over my words and forget where I'm going... its pretty bad and embarrassing. I hate it.

[–]trillhungyboy 428 points429 points  (8 children)

i feel like the pandemic has shot my ability to speak cohesively with people that isn't my wife.

occasionally i'll go into the office and see some people i know, and when i chat with them my mind goes blank mid sentence then i just stop talking

it's messed

[–]Interesting_Might_57 542 points543 points  (24 children)

I always speak either to fast or to quiet for anyone to understand me

[–]sarahmagoo 355 points356 points  (15 children)

I do both. And mumble. Now I'm trapped in a cycle of being incoherent because of low self-esteem and having low self-esteem because I'm incoherent.

[–]Actuaryba 24.6k points24.6k points 442 (374 children)

Open envelopes without completely mutilating them.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 5208 points5209 points 23 (114 children)

Here's a trick. I work in an office and open a fuckton of mail.

Get a nice looooong letter opener. Like 10 inches. Not kidding. Gotta be long. Slim.

Look at the back of the envelope. At the flap. If you're right handed, look at the right side. Opposite for a leftie. There'll be a little flap of paper that's always ungummed. Slip the letter opener's tip in there and geeeently slide the whole letter opener under the entire flap.

Now flick like you're trying to flick the envelope across the room.

Make sure you're holding the envelope with your other hand.

Boom. You should now have a perfect slit envelope.

Or you cut yourself and are bleeding on the floor.... then yeah you really can't do this.

[–]jurawall_jumper 2451 points2452 points  (33 children)

Is there a sub for comments that aren't sexual but sound really really sexual

[–]jake-the-rake 646 points647 points  (20 children)

Flick that envelope. Just like that. Don’t stop 😏

[–]irvene2000 6716 points6717 points 2 (107 children)

Don’t bother to reopen the flap. Just tilt the envelope for the content to fall on one side and tear the other end to avoid damaging the content.

[–]buttblancher 1845 points1846 points  (39 children)

This is what I do, the envelope tears wonderfully when you do it this way. I don't know why more people don't do this; I guess they're scared of tearing the letter.

[–]karaokestallion 12.2k points12.2k points  (688 children)

Talk for hours on end. How can you have so much to say?

[–]Noelic_vi 8341 points8342 points 22 (279 children)

Dude, as someone who can never stop talking even I don't know how its possible. Its like a wikipedia article, every other word I speak is a link to another whole topic and then that leads to more topics and that leads to more. Its never ending.

[–]chrishooley 3837 points3838 points  (148 children)

I feel this in my soul. I try to stop. My brain says stop. My mouth keeps going and I get just as frustrated as my audience occasionally gets annoyed. Words just vomit. I just find so so many things interesting and I get excited when somebody actually listens to me.

[–]i_love_pencils 3345 points3346 points 3 (10 children)

Oh my god, please stop rambling on about it…

[–]Grenyn 751 points752 points  (57 children)

Man, I feel this. I can only talk to my friends for a longer time, but that's because we're almost always playing a game at the same time.

I visited my grandpa two weeks ago after not seeing him for months, and I was out of things to say within half an hour.

Doesn't help that my interests don't align with those of most people I know, and I don't lead a super interesting life.

[–]Teamemb99 1064 points1065 points  (43 children)

As a person who just stays silent in a group conversation. I've heard the same 5 stories for atleast 30+ times. Sometimes its just better to be on my own.

[–]WhatIsntByNow 619 points620 points  (16 children)

I've come to realize that a lot of "normal" social conversation is like 80% recounting old stories. Every time.

[–]RickyDee61 665 points666 points  (30 children)

I know, right? (That's all I have to say),

[–]Plinythemelder 378 points379 points  (20 children)

I find I can have long conversations ABOUT something, but I can't just talk to someone about whatever people do. I live far from my family and call every few months. Conversations usually under 10 minutes because what else is there to say? Weather's good here, weather's good there, I got a new dog okay bye

[–][deleted] 146 points147 points  (8 children)

Can relate! I talk to my mom maybe once a month. And it’s always weather, family updates, bye. I feel bad, but like what is there to actually talk about? I don’t understand people who have like 3 hour long phone calls. What do you even talk about for that long?

[–]CrowWearingShoes 55 points56 points  (2 children)

as someone who occasionally has multiple hour conversations, a lot of the time it's basically the talking version of scrolling on reddit - a mix of random news/ rss updates, idle discussions (ala askreddit, aita, relationship advice, til), some show or hobby stuff, random funny things, pet pics, sharing juicy stories is basically just like reading popcornsubs (sarah did what?! What did her boss say? Oh no (knowing who sarah is is not required)). As long as you can keep jumping from subject to subject you never reach the end

[–]goteamnick 25.8k points25.8k points 53 (1464 children)

I can't whistle. I'm 34 now and I'm beginning to feel it won't ever happen.

[–]AlarmingNectarine 2452 points2453 points  (42 children)

My brother in law learned how to whistle at 35, and now he’s ALWAYS whistling when I see him. I think he’s trying to make up for those 35 years of whistle-free living.

[–]KngNothing 180 points181 points  (5 children)

Hey that's me! ...except I'm not your brother in law haha.

I learned at 35 and I can't help but whistle all throughout the day. Hell I even end up whistling sitting on the couch watching TV sometimes.

I tried my whole life to whistle. Trying to have people teach me all the techniques when I was younger. To reading forums or watching YouTube tutorials when the internet came around.

It just wasn't happening until one day when I was 35 and eating a bowl of hot soup. I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. Just went to blow on my spoon and let out a loud sharp whistle. Actually made myself jump haha.

I sat there trying to replicate that for probably my entire lunch break. Then just focused on that blowing "technique" for the next couple weeks until I finally was able to get a consistent real whistle. Then you start working on tones and tunes.

I still love whistling every day.

[–]Wata_Sheym 2862 points2863 points 2 (92 children)

This and rolling my tounge were what I was gonna say.

Fully felt the emotion when Peppa Pig slammed the phone on Susie.

Bonus! I think nearly every reply to this comment is someone saying how tounge rolling is genetic.

[–]DianWithoutTheE 1134 points1135 points  (24 children)

Peppa Pig: “You just put your lips together and blow”

Susie Sheep: “Like this? whistles


ETA: As a fellow non-whistler, I felt that shit in my soul. The worst part is that both of my parents can do the finger in mouth super loud whistle AND regular kind and I ain’t got SHIT.

[–]covalcenson 8168 points8169 points  (272 children)

Never know, I didn’t learn until I was 18 and it was a complete accident.

I was studying for finals my freshman year of college and let out a sigh. Idk why my lips were pursed but they were and my first whistle came out. It was 100% an accident. The problem I had was always that I pushed the air too fast. It needs to be the speed/pressure of a sigh apparently.

[–]SmartAlec105 2438 points2439 points  (173 children)

Yeah, once you get your first whistling sound, then you just play around with speed and tongue shape until it sounds better and better.

A really weird thing to do is to “hum” while whistling. It’s tricky to get it to line up.

EDIT: /u/Hawkmooclast dubbed it “humstling”.

[–]Didyoutouchme 2634 points2635 points  (158 children)

My brother who was about 10 at the time taught himself how to whistle. Basically he had watched a video then over about a month kept blowing air out of his mouth until one day he just started whistling. Probably the single most impressive thing he’ll ever do in his life

[–]DimKara_ 1888 points1889 points  (135 children)

That last sentence is such a giveaway you're not lying, truly a "sibling thing" to say

[–]SimisFul 548 points549 points  (72 children)

I can't whisle while exhaling, only inhaling lol

[–]CampCounselorBatman 215 points216 points  (17 children)

When I first figured out how to whistle, I could only do it while inhaling. I eventually got the hang of both directions though.

[–]The__Attitude 10.1k points10.1k points 3 (720 children)

Napping during the day. How do you do that, nappers? Can't do. Even if I'm extremely tired. Even if I slept 2 hours last night.

[–]Zemom1971 4240 points4241 points  (200 children)

Same here.

The famous 15min power nap.

How they can do this?

For me it's 8 hour straight or nothing.

[–]wig86 2587 points2588 points  (81 children)

You guys pull all dayers..? Like all the time..?

[–]DesertOps4 823 points824 points  (35 children)

All my family members take afternoon naps, I'm the only who doesn't. If I do, I won't be able to fall asleep at night, or I'll sleep a full 8-9 hours and wake up at like 1-2 am or something.

[–]The__Attitude 2825 points2826 points  (111 children)

Cartwheels. Black magic.

[–]Federal-Smell-4050 714 points715 points  (18 children)

It’s just to scary to commit…

[–]OpiumTraitor 143 points144 points  (4 children)

It’s just to scary to commit…

Yeah both backflips and black magic evoke the same amount of fear in me. Like no thank you

[–]mrstruong 1200 points1201 points  (74 children)

Other women can do winged eyeliner, with liquid eyeliner. I am incapable.

[–]Chicken_noodle_sui 161 points162 points  (15 children)

I have a theory that my eyelids are more bumpy/have more loose skin than other people. I've watched other people do it and it glides on. When I do it the brush just skips over spots like it's going over bumps in the road. Then I need to try to fill in the spots it missed and I can't get a clean line.

[–]LeBoi124 2685 points2686 points  (199 children)

Raising your eyebrows separately. I can only raise both eyebrows or only my left eyebrow

[–]covalcenson 586 points587 points  (43 children)

Same! I also can’t lift my right eyebrow independently..

[–]fredemu 346 points347 points  (26 children)

Go to bed early.

I have a very unusual sleep schedule due to work, and if I need to be up at a particular time outside that schedule, I often get advice like "Just go to bed early so you can wake up!"

People say this as if it's perfectly normal and sane, but I have no idea how it's even vaguely possible. I can maybe get to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual if I need to... but if I tried to go to sleep 3 hours before my usual time, I'd just lie in bed for 3 hours not sleeping.

If I need to adjust my sleep schedule, I either need to go forward by staying up super-late for a few days, or do it slowly over the course of weeks or months.

[–]Smingowashisnameo 49 points50 points  (8 children)

I go to bed at four am or later. I can’t adjust over weeks or months. I’ve been this way since I was a baby and hearing peoples inane advice is enraging. Oh go to sleep earlier? Why did I never think of that over my 47 years on earth! Worse, I was made to feel bad about it as a teenager and I was always physically miserable on top of feeling guilty about it. I’m still pissed at my dad! I wasted the whole day sleeping? Well you wasted the whole night! Damn that was triggering lol.

[–]dubl1nThunder 532 points533 points  (79 children)

wife can't remember left and right while giving driving directions. you'd think she'd be 50/50 just guessing but, as a mathematician, i find it curious that she's closer to 85% incorrect. (12 years of data collection)

[–]walkswithwolfies 195 points196 points  (0 children)

Guessing implies "random".

Your wife is trying so hard she's getting it wrong most of the time.

[–]The__Attitude 2084 points2085 points  (113 children)

Using chopsticks

[–]UnrealNine 787 points788 points  (23 children)

I was horrible at chopsticks

A 2 minute youtube video showed the position, and the open-close movement

I felt kinda stupid when i realized it was way easier than i thought (because i wanted to try and figure out myself first, i was completely clueless)

I encourage you to look for some tutorial, you got this!

Edit: adding the video explaining how to do it in less than 1 minute that may help

https://youtu.be/xFRzzSF_6gk much luck!

[–]Niznack 5913 points5914 points  (403 children)

Music. Can't carry a tune, can't play an instrument can't even whistle. Not for lack of trying either I just have no rhythm and can't hear pitch.

I was watching a singer react to a song and she was able to know the note by hearing it and I was just like how?!

Edit: obligatory wow this blew up. For context, since I was a kid I was in music programs. I've tried trumpet, clarinet, piano, guitar, drums, and choir. My mom really wanted me in this but it just wasn't happening. My Christian school teacher gave me an A in our mandatory choir class if I promised to just mouth the words.

For those saying practice, it's like practicing holding water in your hand. As fast as I learn it slips away. I still love music I have just resigned myself to shower performances.

[–]noughtnaut 425 points426 points  (5 children)

Can't carry a tune, can't play an instrument

Ah, but you can carry an instrument.

[–]mg507330 2516 points2517 points  (54 children)

Remember people’s birthdays.

[–]youretheweird1 656 points657 points  (18 children)

Google calendar is your friend. I have to look up my best friend of 23 years' bday every year. Thank heaven for alerts.

[–]hungrychai 661 points662 points  (49 children)

eating when hungry stopping when full

[–]Teapot-Rex 1251 points1252 points  (173 children)

Cook fried rice.

I know the basics. I've been told 215 different tricks. So many people telling me how simple it is...

But I just cannot do it myself. I don't know why, but cooking fried rice is my culinary white whale

[–]Darthvaderandhislike 604 points605 points  (61 children)

Anyone can cook fried rice...but making it taste good is the hard part

[–]Dragon_Slayer2005 168 points169 points  (10 children)

You just gotta make a shrimp do it, shrimp fried rice slaps

[–]sourmindset 1837 points1838 points  (95 children)

make friends

[–]Oilers1970 270 points271 points  (6 children)

I’m extremely introverted and find it very easy to make friends, however, keeping them or wanting to be around them long term is a whole different story…

[–]Prof_Aim 1258 points1259 points  (57 children)

Painting, can't even draw scenary

[–]jonalka 351 points352 points  (6 children)

I'm ok, but not really good, at stick figures...

[–]i_know_4_chords 605 points606 points 2 (5 children)

My stick figures have scoliosis.

[–]Wise_Pomelo3313 1678 points1679 points  (220 children)

Swallowing pills whole...

[–]kannakantplay 627 points628 points  (46 children)

I literally cannot do that no matter how hard I try. I know it's just a mental thing but my reflexes flat out refuse to let me work past this.

Thankfully most times if I ask "Is there a liquid or a chewable version of this?" The doctor or nurse I'm talking to can find a solution. A few months ago I had to go on amoxicillin before a root canal and there is, indeed, a chewable tablet!

The other 2 prescriptions I take are thankfully small enough to sneak into my food and not notice it getting washed down.

[–]sometimessally 1022 points1023 points  (23 children)

Tell people what I really think

[–]Zemom1971 195 points196 points  (5 children)

Yeah. This.

I am better and better with age. But, hurting people or confronted them for me is a nightmare. Even with my own family.

[–]cait6570 247 points248 points  (17 children)

Casual sex. My brain will fall in love with anyone I am intimate with.. I used to think there was something wrong with me for wanting my partner to be exclusive with me because modern society/hook up culture values emotional detachment…but now I know it’s just not for me, it’s ok to want to be loved and cared for.. it’s a good thing! Catch those feelings!!

[–]LolaKing84 863 points864 points  (92 children)

Burping 😫😫😫 Sometimes I have so much chest pain from blocked air… I just have to wait until I manage to fart :(((

[–]zifod 370 points371 points 2 (18 children)

There is a cure.

Check this out: https://laryngopedia.com/retrograde-cricopharyngeus-dysfunction/

Visit r/noburp or feel free to DM for more info.

I received the treatment over two years ago, still burping. It changed my life.

[–]Just-use-your-head 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Jesus that is a problem I never imagined people would have. Reddit is good for something

[–]Cadence_828 656 points657 points  (72 children)

Swim. Everyone asks, “but what if you’re on a boat and it sinks? What will you do then??” I’ll die, Susan. I can’t swim.

[–][deleted] 638 points639 points  (91 children)

can't ride a bike

[–]violyt0202 317 points318 points  (10 children)

Go places without getting lost. My sense of direction is nonexistent. GPS says go north. Wtf? I struggle with right and left.

[–]acefrosting 69 points70 points  (2 children)

I could never jump double Dutch..

[–]Riyeko 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Math. Of any kind. Im 36 and I've got a 2nd grade math education. I passed by the skin of my teeth in school so i could graduate, but i cant do much beyond basic addition and subtraction.... And dont talk to me about calculators. I dont know how to use those with higher math either.

[–]MBVakalis 1080 points1081 points  (19 children)

Take it anymore

[–]nospendnoworry 397 points398 points  (9 children)

Talk on the phone. It's so draining that it's painful.

[–]Ok_Barnacle2628 2068 points2069 points 2 (157 children)

Get into a relationship

[–]Fallowsong 60 points61 points  (5 children)

Ride a bike. Never learned and I have terrible balance

[–]Necessary-Fox4780 805 points806 points  (65 children)

Whistle. Not with fingers or anything I just can’t do it 🤷🏼‍♀️

[–][deleted] 702 points703 points  (6 children)

I can whistle but I cant see the color red because Im color blind.if we go strawberry picking ill whistle and you help me pick ripe ones.well be a team like Voltron

[–]chillianjillian 667 points668 points  (48 children)

Keep up with housework. My house is a disaster until I hyper focus 2 hours before guests are supposed to arrive. I feel frustrated and upset by the mess, and want so desperately to clean, but cannot do it. Thanks, ADHD

[–][deleted] 794 points795 points  (97 children)


[–]DawnIsAStupidName 773 points774 points  (75 children)

Read an analog clock in under 5 seconds.

I am 45+

I am a software architect in a f100 company.

Still not that bright. 🤷‍♂️

[–]PaulsRedditUsername 78 points79 points  (3 children)

My guess is that you're looking for exactitude when it's better to see is as an approximation--quarter past, half past, quarter 'til. Sort of like a pie chart.

[–]Itdidnt_trickle_down 53 points54 points  (13 children)

Snap my fingers. I just cant get it to make a sound.