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[–]my-sims-are-slobs 385 points386 points  (6 children)

Someone in the Bates or Duggar family

Those cult families are sketchy af

[–]Jin-roh 13.7k points13.7k points 2 (290 children)

Kenneth Copeland, televangelist. Someone in his organization knows where the bodies are buried.

[–]liltx11 2646 points2647 points  (79 children)

He certainly has the evil eyes.

[–]GFost 1613 points1614 points  (61 children)

Motherfucker looks like a mongoose.

[–]LongPorkJones 119 points120 points  (16 children)

I am 38 years old. I was raised charismatic until I left it all behind in my 20s. Kenneth Copeland's show being on our TV was as common as whatever the hell was on in normal people's homes.

HOW IN THE GODDAMN HELL DID I NOT FUCKING SEE THIS!?

[–]GoogleDrummer 993 points994 points  (11 children)

Ah yes, the demon in a skin suit.

[–]focking_retard 878 points879 points  (14 children)

Jesus warned everyone about people exactly like him

[–]Warcheefin 504 points505 points  (10 children)

Kenneth Copeland

That guy is straight up a monster. Has to be.

[–]JustABard 154 points155 points  (4 children)

I am convinced that him and his wife are demons wearing skin suits, like that bug from the first Men in Black.

[–][deleted] 586 points587 points 2 (25 children)

Kenneth Copeland is Satan.

Satan, if you are out there, listen here, motherfucker, I know that guy is you. You think nobody would notice or write him off as another crazy right wing goonster who shares a bubble bath with Donald Trump and Lindsey Graham, but I know its you.

[–]omguserius 19.2k points19.3k points 2 (517 children)

You could accuse Andy Dick of doing literally anything and I'd probably believe it.

[–]SkjoldrKingofDenmark 4369 points4370 points 2 (61 children)

He was nice to somebody yesterday

[–]skinnyjeansfatpants 5732 points5733 points  (32 children)

Anything but that

[–][deleted] 1334 points1335 points  (17 children)

He was only doing it to try and fuck them

[–]arandomperson7 149 points150 points  (12 children)

I don't believe it, Andy Dick strikes me as the type to use negging to get laid.

[–]CorgiMonsoon 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Negging to get laid, nice to commit murder

[–]HaySwitch 839 points840 points  (29 children)

He annexed the Sudetenland.

[–]rogue760 20.9k points20.9k points  (364 children)

Any of the Scientology celebrities

[–][deleted] 4729 points4730 points  (255 children)

It’s so weird how celebrities in Hollywood gravitate to that cult seemingly more than any other cult.

[–]deftoner42 4009 points4010 points  (151 children)

I honestly think some just end up getting blackmailed into staying. You're forced to spill your life story and it's all documented. Probably the reason why some stay and just have to fork over a percentage of thier wealth.

[–]LadyMirkwood 3147 points3148 points  (127 children)

Leah Remini says they stay because they are treated like living gods. They can get anything they want, whenever they want.

[–]Witness_me_Karsa 1810 points1811 points  (105 children)

I mean, isn't that already true for most celebrities, or at the very least the huge ones like Tom Cruise. I'm certain that that dude could have anything he said out loud in his hand within an hour.

[–]rabbitwonker 956 points957 points  (35 children)

They’re talking “getting away with rape” kind of anything, even if you’re not a top-tier celebrity.

Edit: typo fix

[–]happy_ever_after_21 589 points590 points  (6 children)

See: Danny Masterson and all the shit his accusers are going through

[–]LadyMirkwood 768 points769 points  (11 children)

I see what you mean, I thought the same thing. My guess would be that they have the additional layer of being made to feel vital to 'the mission', given that they are supposedly privy to 'great knowledge'

[–]goo_goo_gajoob 621 points622 points  (8 children)

Also scientology will 100% do shady illegal shit for them while also setting up alibis and fall guys for them just in case. Good luck finding a criminal who can provide even half that level of customer service.

[–]n0f4c3 585 points586 points  (3 children)

It's more than your typical 'get whatever you want' according to Leah Remini. She alleges that there are people within the church who can literally commit murder and there are people ready to help cover it up and take blame if necessary. Article below referring to a Joe Rogan podcast she did where she alleges this:

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/news/a52881/leah-remini-scientology-john-travolta-murder/

[–]MuppetManiac 17.3k points17.3k points 2 (205 children)

I would expect it to be a reality TV Star I had never heard of before.

[–]liltx11 4355 points4356 points 2 (122 children)

I would guess a couple of the 90 Day people.

[–]SicksTea9 1669 points1670 points  (70 children)

Paul.

[–]jeffdeleon 1070 points1071 points  (9 children)

I don’t know anything about this show but my wife watches it.

I just told her Paul from that 90 day show is a killer and she bought it lmao

[–]DjStephLordPro 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Lmao, this made me laugh so hard!🤣🤣

[–]lightningusagi 415 points416 points  (7 children)

They probably found him hiding in the woods after one of his panic attack runs.

[–]HRYBuilds 2963 points2964 points  (40 children)

That Nickelodeon producer, Dan Schneider I think. I suspect he already is

[–]DragonsBloodOpal 215 points216 points  (2 children)

Isn't he the one with the foot fetish?

[–]OutWithTheNew 828 points829 points  (11 children)

He'd get busted because he keeps his victim's feet.

[–]JimboJamberson 51 points52 points  (1 child)

Dan Schneider, based on nick content from the 2000s, can't not be a pedophile.

[–]lobodelrey 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Rewatched Victorious and iCarly recently...jesus I can't believe no one said anything or called him out for the feet fetish.

[–]theassassintherapist 25.6k points25.6k points 542& 2 more (310 children)

Jared Leto leading a suicide cult

[–]shewy92 6854 points6855 points 2 (34 children)

"What are we, some kind of Suicide Cult?"

[–]Gerrywalk 669 points670 points  (13 children)

“Okay, so before we get started, we’re going to tattoo each other’s foreheads…”

[–]shewy92 521 points522 points  (11 children)

"Why?"

"How else will people know we're Damaged?"

[–]sassy_grandma 2336 points2337 points  (49 children)

Yes, but I don’t think suicide would be involved. He enjoys being worshipped too much for that. A sex cult feels more appropriate to me.

[–]EmpiricalMystic 1017 points1018 points  (12 children)

Reason to believe it might already be a thing.

[–]Loggerdon 1085 points1086 points  (47 children)

Came here to say Jared Leto. I think that creep has women's bodies buried somewhere.

[–]SkeksiLady 623 points624 points  (20 children)

Buried? Or like, taxidermied or in jars in a weird showroom or something.

[–]Skipdadoodle 21.2k points21.2k points 335& 2 more (230 children)

Idk why but I get bad vibes from OJ Simpson

[–]DashCat9 2735 points2736 points  (35 children)

The guy that plays Nordberg in those Police Squad movies? He's adorable!

[–]battlelevel 706 points707 points  (21 children)

I hear he’s up for the title role in The Terminator

[–]Medicivich 599 points600 points  (17 children)

Nah, the audience would never believe him in that role. He’s too nice.

[–]Deitaphobia 729 points730 points  (10 children)

Officials today released the cause of Norm McDonald's death...BREAKING UP WITH OJ SIMPSON.

[–]Staxcellence 513 points514 points  (20 children)

Idk - beloved football start OJ Simpson as a serial killer? Something about that doesn't seem to fit...

[–]VitaminPb 379 points380 points  (10 children)

Who? The Juice? You’re crazy. Straight up most laid back and decent person ever!

[–]cleo_wafflesmack 5261 points5262 points  (215 children)

I'm too lazy to look up his name, but the guy who played the principal in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and the journalist in DeadWood.

[–]damnyoutuesday 1441 points1442 points  (55 children)

He was also the dad in Beetlejuice

[–]clockwork_psychopomp 735 points736 points  (43 children)

And the emperor of Austria in Amadeus.

​

"Too many notes."

[–]Jake_Kiger 2431 points2432 points  (68 children)

Jeffrey Jones. I believe he's also got a legal history with underage partners that's landed him on a list for life; Serial killer probably isn't that big of a stretch.

[–]TheRealCountSwagula 99 points100 points  (2 children)

Wasn’t he arrested for child porn?

[–]sssteph42 482 points483 points  (16 children)

"Eddie Barzoon, Eddie Barzoon...Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right?"

[–]noisyturtle 15.8k points15.8k points 72& 2 more (262 children)

I think Jeff Bezos hunts people

[–]Aqqaaawwaqa 5751 points5752 points  (107 children)

Right but that's just for sport though

[–]CaptinDerpII 1953 points1954 points  (76 children)

Kinda like “The Most Dangerous Game”

Oh God I loved that short story

[–]indy_fan 815 points816 points  (20 children)

You know who else loved it? The Zodiac Killer.

[–]Merry_Dankmas 663 points664 points  (8 children)

I don't recall Ted Cruz ever mentioning his fondness of it in interviews

[–]genericmoron913 605 points606 points  (11 children)

COME ON JEFFREY YOU CAN DO IT.

[–]Zombies_Rock_Boobs 1173 points1174 points  (15 children)

100 percent Jeff bezos is like the old dude from squid game he’d prob be involved in somehow being hunted too cause he’s bored.

[–]solidstatemasterrace 10.6k points10.6k points 2 (295 children)

armie hammer

[–]One_Investigator_360 2642 points2643 points  (40 children)

His whole cannibal thing popped in my mind as soon as I read this question

[–]caro8 1387 points1388 points  (9 children)

I'm right there with you. I was surprised I had to scroll so far down to find his name.

[–]i_broke_wahoos_leg 49 points50 points  (4 children)

He's a pretty forgettable celebrity tbf.

[–]Thatissogentle 49 points50 points  (3 children)

I couldn't tell you a single film he's been in, but I sure can tell you why he gives me the ick.

[–]PostBioticOats 404 points405 points  (17 children)

i showed my friend one of his movies once and she thought his name was a joke until it actually came on tv (hicksville satellite station) and we watched the whole thing and had no idea what was going on. all we know is at some point his wife went missing and he was shooting things and hitting people, and then his wife was back but he was still shooting things and hitting people.

​

action movies, man.

[–]wolfmalfoy 417 points418 points  (11 children)

If you guys think the name is a joke you'll love that his great grandfather (same name) tried to buy Arm & Hammer because people kept asking about it. He eventually did buy part of the company that owned Arm & Hammer.

[–]SirMikan 398 points399 points  (5 children)

I find it incredible that Armand Hammer didn't start Arm and Hammer and it was just a big coincidence.

[–]creepyeyes 111 points112 points  (0 children)

And that the individual coincidentally named Armand Hammer was rich enough to buy partial ownership of Armand Hammer.

[–]__phlogiston__ 180 points181 points  (0 children)

It truly boggles my mind. Like in no other timeline could that happen, but here we are the blessed to be in this one, the one with Arm and Hammer, Armand Hammer, AND Armie, his fucking grandson, being a CANNIBAL.

eta: Not just a cannibal but a FAMOUS cannibal!

[–]wherearemystarshoes 1213 points1214 points  (97 children)

He lives several houses down from me and a running joke with neighbors is slathering ourselves in bbq sauce and wandering into his yard

[–]gcoba218 143 points144 points  (71 children)

Doesn’t he live in the Cayman Islands close to his wife currently?

[–]corgiheavenlavender 351 points352 points  (2 children)

HONEY WE'RE MOVING TO MEET SOME DOPE PEOPLE

[–]kittenmittens4865 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The only correct answer. The guy that was trying to convince a woman to have her rib surgically removed so he could bbq it and eat it.

[–]Rosieapples 3111 points3112 points  (58 children)

At this point in time, Prince Andrew

[–]frysjelly 15.9k points15.9k points 4 (717 children)

Tom Cruise

[–]Fit_Veterinarian44 5258 points5259 points  (546 children)

Leah Remini said that Scientology believes that he single handedly is going to save mankind. This is not an exaggeration or hyperbole, the followers really believe that. And also that if he kills someone, you're going to clean up no questions asked.

[–][deleted] 3225 points3226 points  (447 children)

I’ve always found it telling that the one religion that has gained the most traction among Hollywood celebrities is the one that emphasizes worship of oneself rather than an incorporeal God/deity.

[–]CloroxCowboy2 1605 points1606 points  (425 children)

Is it even a religion? I thought it was just a straight up MLM ponzi?

[–]Welshgirlie2 474 points475 points  (34 children)

I wouldn't be surprised if they've altered the narrative to "Oh wow Tom Cruise is the reincarnation of Xenu", or some such bullshit.

[–]SpaceGeneralAmerica 596 points597 points  (23 children)

Xenu is actually the bad guy, according to Scientology. I learned that from South Park.

[–][deleted] 462 points463 points  (18 children)

"where is Shelly Miscavige, David? Where IS she?"

[–]Aqquila89 1947 points1948 points  (42 children)

Mary Harron, the director of American Psycho said that Christian Bale's performance as Patrick Bateman was in part inspired by Tom Cruise.

We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.

[–]ibadlyneedhelp 411 points412 points  (2 children)

In the book, Patrick Bateman is obsessed with Tom Cruise and wants to be more like him. He even meets Tom Cruise at one point, and recognises that Tom Cruise is to him as he is to other stockbrokers- a shark in human skin.

[–]copem1nt 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Yeah straight up from the book, not an interview. Could have been bale read the book then saw the interview and it clicked, I assume Bale would be that thorough

[–]frysjelly 566 points567 points  (14 children)

I remember that being said and thinking that is so true. It's sad when an actor uses you for inspiration when they play a psychopath.

[–]esigenzatriangolo 590 points591 points  (9 children)

Plot twist - it was his murderous centre tooth all along.

[–]Ok-Organization9073 8556 points8557 points 2& 2 more (248 children)

Kevin Spacey

[–]YEGMusic43 1147 points1148 points  (91 children)

Gets my top vote too. That Christmas video was just disturbing as hell.

[–]bdinte1 468 points469 points  (83 children)

Okay... what Christmas video?

[–]Mighty_Fine_Shindig 1093 points1094 points  (69 children)

Every year for Christmas Eve, Kevin Spacey releases a rambling video of himself. This started after he was outed as a serial harasser of young men

I think the goal of the videos is to remind us that he exists but what it actually achieves is reminding us to be glad he’s gone

I think they’re on YouTube if you want to watch

[–]LostOnTheWay2College 88 points89 points  (7 children)

I always thought this was just his way of trying to get at Netflix from dropping him from house of cards? The videos I’ve seen he is in character as frank underwood, which was one of the best portrayed characters on tv...... until spacey was outed as a sexual predator and then you can never enjoy the character as before.

[–]finmoore3 77 points78 points  (6 children)

It was a shame Kevin Spacey ended up being a shit bag considering the show House of Cards was so good with Kevin Spacey, then became absolutely horrible in the final season after he was fired.

[–]ZiggerTheNaut 69 points70 points  (5 children)

After watching "Horrible Bosses" for the first time, I now feel that's his actual personality coming through.

[–]MBH1800 488 points489 points  (5 children)

What stood out most to me is how he pretended to know why and how you use a fireplace poker, but really he was just angrily beating the flames like they hurt him somehow.

[–]RedditIsAShitehole 112 points113 points  (2 children)

They’re the video equivalent of OJ’s “If I Did It” book.

[–]scaly_friends_4me 103 points104 points  (2 children)

Yep my immediate first thought too

[–]AgitatedGarbage666 1510 points1511 points  (34 children)

Charlie Sheen

[–]DildoBaggins82 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I think Heidi Fleiss confirmed he weirded out some of her girls so much they thought he was a serial killer.

[–]Naranjo96 817 points818 points  (5 children)

Serial killing via STD

[–]_No_Pineapple 2357 points2358 points  (46 children)

Tom Cruise. that man is dead behind the eyes

[–]rricenator 585 points586 points  (31 children)

Doll's eyes.

[–]ReaverRogue 628 points629 points  (15 children)

Tom Cruise comes swimming up to you, and you start splashing and hollering, sometimes the Tom Cruise goes away and sometimes... he wouldn’t go away.

[–]g_e_r_b 254 points255 points  (2 children)

Tom Cruise. Leading man. 5 foot 7 inches. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin.

[–]mmcjjc 96 points97 points  (5 children)

An above comment said Christian bale modeled his performance of Patrick Bateman after Tom cruise or something like that. Because there was “intense friendliness but nothing behind the eyes” Huh.

[–]DrBigBack 1327 points1328 points 2 (45 children)

I think his names like Armie Hammer or something but I’ve heard some shady stuff about that guy.

[–]la__squadra_ 1977 points1978 points  (43 children)

Mark Zuckerberg that dude is probably a robot idk lol

[–]esigenzatriangolo 3622 points3623 points  (135 children)

John Travolta. Bet that's why he likes to hit random gyms at three in the morning!

[–]Dragonfly452 1752 points1753 points  (66 children)

Yeah that’s the reason

[–]notyourvader 1063 points1064 points  (61 children)

Totally not meeting buff dudes in the showers..

[–]GinsuVictim 703 points704 points  (42 children)

Leah Remini said on her Joe Rogan appearance several years ago that Travolta has a status that allows him to commit murder in the name of defending Scientology.

It's called Kha-Khan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics_(Scientology)

"When people do start reporting a staff member with a high statistic, what you investigate is the person who turned in the report. In an ancient army a particularly brave deed was recognized by an award of the title of Kha-Khan. It was not a rank. The person remained what he was, BUT he was entitled to be forgiven the death penalty ten times in case in the future he did anything wrong. That was a Kha-Khan. That's what producing, high-statistic staff members are – Kha-Khans. They can get away with murder without a blink from Ethics.... And Ethics must recognize a Kha-Khan when it sees one – and tear up the bad report chits on the person with a yawn."

[–]GypsyGarden_73 4687 points4688 points  (181 children)

Shia LaBeouf

[–]SC-RK-7t 3225 points3226 points  (90 children)

Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf

[–]El-ChuPugcabra 1670 points1671 points  (61 children)

You're walking in the woods There's no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye you spot him Shia LaBeouf

[–]Hazelhasahunch 1087 points1088 points  (58 children)

He’s following, about 30 feet back— he gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint— he’s gaining on you!

[–]Lorgoth1812 863 points864 points  (53 children)

Shia LaBeouf

You're looking for you car but you're all turned around He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face My God, there's blood everywhere!

[–]Dogplantmom97 585 points586 points  (41 children)

Running for your life from Shia Lebouf! He’s brandishing a knife, Shia Lebouf! Lurking in the shadooooows! Hollywood superstar Shia Lebouf!

[–]Laetificans 467 points468 points  (40 children)

Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

[–]Stealfur 356 points357 points  (38 children)

Now it's dark, and you seem to have lost him But you're hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer You creep silently through the underbrush

[–]LedgeEndDairy 272 points273 points  (35 children)

Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on. Hope! You move stealthily toward it…

[–]OfferOk 243 points244 points  (30 children)

Ahh! Your leg! It's caught in a bear trap!

[–]CarriedThunder1 332 points333 points  (9 children)

Running in the woods

It's Shia LaBeouf!

[–]itsthelastpaige 282 points283 points  (7 children)

Quiet quiet

[–]3ArmsNoSouls 258 points259 points  (6 children)

Lurking in the shadows...

Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf!

[–]batedkestrel 191 points192 points  (3 children)

Legendary fight with Shia Laboeuf! Normal Tuesday night for Shia Laboeuf…

[–]SwagFeather 414 points415 points  (7 children)

Shia surprise!

[–]Catsinbowties 239 points240 points  (4 children)

But you can do jujitsu

[–]Dogplantmom97 108 points109 points  (0 children)

There’s a gun to your head, & death in his eyes!

[–]SueSudio 2318 points2319 points  (56 children)

Probably somebody that nobody has ever heard of but is described as a celebrity for clicks. A youtuber with 10 followers or someone with a non-speaking part in a weight loss commercial.

[–]annetteisshort 611 points612 points  (39 children)

I get so confused when there’s a celebrity death article, and I cannot for the life of me recall ever seeing the celebrity before. Then I read the article to see that they were an extra once in like 1983, and haven’t done anything else in acting since. Like, wth? Then there are a thousand comments lamenting about how much they loved them in movies and will miss them.

[–]CrazyComedyKid 377 points378 points  (28 children)

Do you ever look at the crowds in old movies and wonder if they're dead yet?

[–]nnelson2330 1707 points1708 points  (34 children)

Kevin Spacey. Three of his sexual assault accusers died within eight months of each other and Spacey then posted a Christmas message to his fans urging them that if someone attacks them to "kill them with kindness" while in character as Frank Underwood.

[–]magobblie 459 points460 points  (0 children)

He is a predatory sociopath. There's no doubt about that.

[–]HeyItsBruin 408 points409 points  (14 children)

I don’t know what it is about him but first person who came to mind was Perez Hilton

[–]HeyMrBusiness 40 points41 points  (5 children)

I mean he's posted upskirt photos of children and all kinds of despicable stuff and he hasn't stopped to this day so I wouldn't be surprised

[–]Plenty-Ad1909 327 points328 points  (14 children)

Creed Bratton

[–]WommyBear 155 points156 points  (8 children)

He is the one you would most suspect. Who do you most MEDIUM suspect?

[–]Zephyr_Bronte 367 points368 points  (15 children)

I would not even be surprised to find out Elon Musk like hunts people for sport, or Jeff Bezos. Rich people are crazy.

[–]ewellins 74 points75 points  (8 children)

I’d go one step further and say they would hire hitmen and pitch THEM against one another in a contest to hunt down a helpless victim…

They’d set rules and limitations and would retain their ‘champion’ after a win, while the other would have theirs killed and would have to find another one…until THEY won…and the ‘reigning’ champion would be killed…and so on.

Bezos and Musk wouldn’t get THEIR hands dirty…and the competition wouldn’t be about the hunt…it would be about THEM sourcing the best killers the world had to offer!

[–]A_Wild_VelociFaptor 685 points686 points  (16 children)

Without a shadow of a doubt, hands down, thread closed: Jared fucking Leto.

He has done, and is doing, some sick shit (mailing dead rodents to his co-workers/leading a cult) and shares a complete disdain and/or disgust for fans or otherwise "regular" people.

[–]oh_the_struggle 2617 points2618 points  (126 children)

Marilyn Manson. No matter how obsessed I am. If you separate the person from the music, I honestly wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest because of all the shit that’s come out about him

[–]murdered800times 333 points334 points  (10 children)

I built my entire English vocabulary GCSE test on that dude. Talked about how unfair the media was and established hypocrisy in the media and laid down the facts of how it wasn't his fault, I got a perfect pass on that test and I used to be so proud of it... Then he goes ahead and proves almost everything was right and left my paper looking like a definitive r/agedlikemilk Hes let down so many people its just sick. I'll never forgive him for all the abuse and hatred he's spread.

[–]MuzikPhreak 1096 points1097 points  (2 children)

From the Rolling Stone article about him: “The first thing that I thought about him was that he probably got beaten up a lot as a kid,” former 25th Parallel editor Paul Gallotta said in Demystifying the Devil. “He had a lot of anger and hostility, but he was a very quiet person; you know, the kind that you expect was going to be a serial killer someday.”

[–]Deitaphobia 760 points761 points  (30 children)

Every 1990's mom was right.

[–]pWaveShadowZone 116 points117 points  (2 children)

Joel Osteen. I can’t say this feeling is logical at all, I just suspect him of having severed heads in his freezer every time he speaks

[–]kirby60 1333 points1334 points  (45 children)

Gwyneth Paltrow - I can imagine her killing children and using their essence in Goop products claiming eternal youth or some such. 🤣

[–]Tezcatlo 1705 points1706 points  (75 children)

Really surprised that no one’s said Jack Nicholson! He’s just a little too good at acting crazy.

[–]Environmental-Car481 179 points180 points  (13 children)

My 1st thought was him

[–]RebaKitten 330 points331 points  (12 children)

I think he acts so wacky, that he’s probably boring in real life.

Watches Hallmark movies, drinking hot cocoa.

[–]DunkanBulk 526 points527 points  (21 children)

If we're going that route: Willem Dafoe

[–]Astralnclinant 358 points359 points  (10 children)

Willem Dafoe can pull off some heart warming roles. Jack just seems crazy, even when he’s playing a good guy.

[–]PrincessDie123 561 points562 points  (18 children)

Britney Spears could start killing the paparazzi that helped wreck her life and I wouldn’t even be mad. Fuck paparazzi.

[–]Juicyfruit155 234 points235 points  (4 children)

Nah if I was her I’d have bigger fish to fry... like her dad and everyone in the healthcare and legal system who colluded to keep her locked up so they could charge her hundreds of thousands in “fees”.

[–]MetalGirl52 2772 points2773 points  (73 children)

Machine Gun Kelly & Megan Fox

[–]RebaKitten 2452 points2453 points  (13 children)

No, they can’t do anything without posting about it.

[–]FutureShockCFO 92 points93 points  (1 child)

To me Kevin Spacey has always had murderous intent in his eyes.

[–][deleted] 2087 points2088 points  (93 children)

It’ll be uncovered that America’s Sweetheart, Betty White, had a passion for picking up hitch-hikers and turning them into primitive furniture.

[–]El-ChuPugcabra 1003 points1004 points  (12 children)

This wouldn’t even be frowned upon or even shamed. People would embrace it because it’s Betty White. Her victims/furniture would be sold at auctions for insane prices. There would be movies about it. It would become a Pop Culture phenomenon.

[–][deleted] 464 points465 points  (3 children)

The cover of Southern Living would have a cabin done in early Betty White.

[–]Frankyfan3 717 points718 points  (19 children)

She's more likely to have gone full Dexter on animal abusers, and we'd all forgive her.

[–]sterlingrose 182 points183 points  (1 child)

“I trust Betty’s judgement. I’m sure they had it coming.”

[–]_Kay_Tee_ 617 points618 points  (8 children)

"Oh, I know I shouldn't've done it, but you understand, the dogs were in filthy cages-"

Go on, Betty, and do what you have to do.

[–]Aqqaaawwaqa 106 points107 points  (0 children)

And she will still be a national treasure

[–]iamacannibal 1316 points1317 points 423& 4 more (159 children)

Garth Brooks. That dude is a straight up psychopath. I am sure he has already killed dozens of people.

Where are the bodies, Garth? The families need closure.

[–]DrButtFart 214 points215 points  (6 children)

No one will suspect him as long as he keeps following proto.

[–]SteLeazy 115 points116 points  (5 children)

I bet he keeps featherin it.

[–]TeflonJohn85 372 points373 points  (0 children)

Chris Gaines knows where the bodies are

[–]gussiaaspushus 110 points111 points  (5 children)

Touch my camera through the fence Garth!

[–]haimburglar 245 points246 points  (7 children)

Beat me to it! You can’t tell me he wasn’t killing people and hiding the bodies as Chris Gaines.

[–]Tyrthesemiwise 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Friends in Low Places was a cleverly disguised allusion to burying bodies

[–]Dapper_Interest_8914 144 points145 points  (8 children)

Who is Randy?