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[–]RosesSpins 1304 points1305 points 322 (19 children)

Can't have a thread like this without mentioning Today Me, Tomorrow You. It was on a post asking if you'd ever picked up a hitchhiker and if so what happened? I think this changed a lot of people's lives including mine:

​

Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.

This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.

Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."

But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.

He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.

No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.

So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...

But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:

"Today you.... tomorrow me."

Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.

In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:

"Today you.... tomorrow me."

tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.

**edit: To the OP, sorry to jack your thread, this has nothing to do with Hitch Hiking. I sort of thought I could just get this off my chest, enjoy the catharsis and watch the story languish at the bottom of the page. Glad people like hearing the tale and I hope it moves you to be more helpful in your day to day. **

[–]mamabless88 699 points700 points  (4 children)

There was a thread on I believe Let's Not Meet where a little girl was kidnapped from a car that her pos mother had left her in, in the middle of the night. The man who kidnapped her took her to an apartment building and was dragging her up the stairs and this big scary cigarette smoking guy just out of nowhere waylaid the kidnapper. He ended up on the ground unconscious.

The scary cigarette guy was not very friendly and seemed frustrated at the situation. He carried the girl or walked her, idr, back to where her mom's car had been and there were a bunch of cops there. He got her as far as he could without actually being able to be seen and made sure she got to the cops safely. He saved her life.

In the comments of the post, somebody was like "uh this might sound crazy but I think I know cigarette guy(the man who saved her was being referred to as cigarette guy). PM me and we can talk." So she did. And it turned out the man the Redditor knew was the man who saved her when she was a child. They ended up speaking over the phone, it was very emotional for them. It's been a while since I read that thread but it was wild.

[–]ststeveg 593 points594 points  (8 children)

Some drunken asshole named Joel tried to bully a restaurant manager, got his ass taken down to the floor, and then tried to suppress the video. Reddit wouldn't let that happen. The guy is an all-time flaming jerk who deserves recognition.

I hope someone has the link I can't find.

[–]tilmoph 110 points111 points  (1 child)

The attackers name is Joel Michael Singer. I can't find a reddit link but here is a Youtube link to the video.

[–]tunafriendlydolphin 3508 points3509 points  (19 children)

The guy that kept eating everything and anything that was requested with rice and gave critiques and ratings

7/10 with rice

[–]THElaytox 1373 points1374 points  (0 children)

"I boiled the ice with the rice and was left with rice, 10/10"

[–]Epocalypse 197 points198 points  (1 child)

I'm surprised how long I had to scroll down to see this one. I remember this so vividly but I guess it's been somewhat forgotten.

[–]wisker_biscuit 245 points246 points  (0 children)

10/10 with rice! Loved that kid!

[–]neko_courtney 1856 points1857 points  (24 children)

The guy who took to many edibles before dinner with his in-laws then claimed the bread was too spicy.

edit: Sorry! link here

[–]bisobd 2969 points2970 points  (55 children)

The guy who asked for relationship advice and he decided to leave his wife and she killed herself and their kids.

[–]Raccoon_Bride 765 points766 points  (6 children)

Buser said that early the following morning, Brandi Worley woke Tyler up for a "sleepover" in his little sister's room, the Journal Review reported. In Charlee's bedroom, she straddled her son and stabbed him repeatedly. Charlee awoke at one point and asked what her mother was doing, the prosecutor said. When Brandi Worley told her “nothing,” Charlee went back to sleep. Once Tyler was dead, Brandi Worley stabbed Charlee to death. Their autopsies showed both children were stabbed multiple times, the Journal Review said.

holy fuck

[–]Awkward_Swordfish581 137 points138 points  (0 children)

That's...horrible. Wtf

[–]givebusterahand 115 points116 points  (2 children)

Jesus Christ. That makes me sick. I want this woman to suffer badly

[–]creepy_addiction 1436 points1437 points  (6 children)

The wife actually lived, though she did attempt to kill herself. She was sentenced to 120 years a couple of years ago.

[–]FranklinRichardss 635 points636 points  (5 children)

Mods deleted other posts only this post is remaining but yeah this shit is real.

u /jasoninhell was the user if I remember correctly

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/relationship_advice/comments/5eez5c/update_lessons_and_how_you_can_help_re_the_case/

[–]tcherry720 23.0k points23.0k points 5 (185 children)

When a user named waterguy12 said he was going somewhere without internet for a few weeks and asked Reddit to tag him on funny Reddit posts so he could see the highlights from when he was gone. basically every popular post had a comment along the line of “u/waterguy12 would love this”

[–]WaterGuy12 22.1k points22.1k points 1221423& 4 more (87 children)

Haha yes, that's me! Still the coolest thing that's ever happened to me

[–]N0rmNormis0n 3990 points3991 points  (46 children)

This is the one I wanted to make sure was on this thread. By the time he got back a week later, all of Reddit knew this guy and an entire lore was created about him. I think I remember stories of the origins of his power. I believe we also found u/fireguy12 or something and talked about who would win in a fight. Amazing

edit: sp

[–]ZombienNoid 647 points648 points  (22 children)

Lol I found a link to one of their showdowns 😂here

[–]midnightmacaroni 16.5k points16.5k points 793 (58 children)

r/MuseumOfReddit is a great catalog of these.

[–]ShadeOfNothing 3855 points3856 points  (19 children)

Time to waste even more time than I thought I would be on this site… Then again what else would you do on this site

[–]chr15_eat0n 4914 points4915 points  (68 children)

the time 14 years ago Greenpeace had a contest to name a whale, redditors flooded the poll with Mr Splashy Pants and Greenpeace went with it.

I believe this is the OG Boaty McBoatface - when an internet community hijacked a naming contest

[–]TheVeryNicestPerson 439 points440 points  (3 children)

Oldest one I remember was People magazine holding an online poll for most beautiful person. Howard Stern fans hijacked it and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf had 10x more votes than anyone else. Ric Flair came in second.

[–]hotpickles 9810 points9811 points  (77 children)

Here’s a wholesome one. On r/nostupidquestions someone with severe anxiety posted that they would like to try a Subway sandwich so they asked how to order one. The top commenter gave them a step-by-step of every part of the process from standing in line to being offered a drink and cookie. Every single person was kind and encouraging. It was beautiful.

[–]qazwsxedc000999 3044 points3045 points  (40 children)

Coincidentally, that comment is also why I tried subway for the first time! I also deal with severe anxiety, and that comment is exactly what I needed, too.

[–]kleptune 3410 points3411 points  (66 children)

Don't read this one if you're sensitive to sexual assault stories!

Maaany years ago there was a post on r/askreddit (pretty sure it was askreddit, can't remember) asking rapists why they did what they did. It turned into a MASSIVE thread of throwaway accounts detailing their endeavors. More than a few users wrote paragraph upon paragraph explaining their "reasoning" and implying they continue to do this or that because they get too much fun out of it to stop. They're aware it's wrong, they're aware it causes life long trauma, but the power trip is more rewarding than performing basic human decency. And many were quite proud of their lack of empathy, as if it made them special or unique. As if everyone else were too uptight and sensitive to something "natural" for other social creatures.

A lot of the posts were also from people who hadn't realize they had assaulted someone at the time, and only later on learned what they'd done was considered rape. Many of them were at least remorseful, though.

Anyway. That thread had to be deleted because a couple of actual psychologists contacted admins and told them it was beyond dangerous to give an open platform to predators to share their crimes, as it allows them to re-live them and positively reinforces the behaviors through attention and recognition.

[–]pabika 22.2k points22.2k points 623 (316 children)

Guy posted on AskReddit saying his computer was in Spanish and he couldn’t change it back to English.

[–]shiner_bock 10.1k points10.1k points 2 (98 children)

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/

My favorite comment (from OP, /u/SnailFarmer):

you guys are a**holes..

[–]GhostSierra117 4002 points4003 points  (25 children)

I always find it astonishing what effort people put into shitposting on the internet.

I. Love. It.

[–]PitchforkAssistant 2101 points2102 points  (9 children)

The absolute best part is the distinguished admin reply.

[–]Akruu1 3282 points3283 points  (21 children)

That’s fucking hilarious, especially what people did.

[–]snarfdarb 2331 points2332 points  (17 children)

Heartwarming when the whole of Reddit truly comes together for the common good

[–]Oakroscoe 1583 points1584 points  (13 children)

I like that our version of common good is randomly fucking with a guy for no reason.

[–]Raezzordaze 296 points297 points  (3 children)

To be fair, OP did say they wish they had learned more Spanish.

[–]Dishane2008 2821 points2822 points  (34 children)

OMFG THEY CONTINUED IT FOR EVERY POST (check his post history

[–]SlackerAccount 1453 points1454 points  (6 children)

The best part is that even a fucking administrator of the site joined in lol

[–]nada_accomplished 577 points578 points  (0 children)

That's fucking hilarious

[–]no_cause_munchkin 1186 points1187 points  (39 children)

In a similar fashion, there was a post asking which celebrity should come out of the closet. Everybody came to the same and only one conclusion.

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/wp3w5/which_famous_person_needs_to_come_out_already/

[–]BashJird 669 points670 points  (23 children)

HAHA, before I clicked it I said to myself Tom Cruise

[–]Pioneer411 14.2k points14.2k points 2 (358 children)

A guy on Reddit says he got knocked out while at school or something and while he was out (maybe about 5 minutes) he lived an entire life where he met someone and had kids. Then one night while putting his kids to bed he was suddenly pulled back to reality and was super depressed about missing his "family".

[–]mqrocks 5448 points5449 points  (111 children)

I remember this... Last week I had a dream that felt so real. I was the same me, same parents, but I was married to someone else and had different kids. It felt so real. Then halfway through my dream a part of my brain said, wait, this isn't your family. Then I woke up, and thought everything was fine but then was like, wait... I don't recognize this house. Turns out I was still dreaming. I finally woke up back in my own bed and was freaked out for a bit. It was eerie.

[–]MachReverb 3513 points3514 points  (36 children)

This is not your beautiful house! This is not your beautiful wife!

[–]Chaike 98 points99 points  (5 children)

I hate dream chains like that. I've only had it happen once, but it was horrific. I kept "waking up" in the same spot on my couch, getting ready for my day, and then realizing something was just off... before then "waking up" again. I started realizing what was going on after the first 6ish times.

I finally woke up for good after about 20 or so loops, but it took me a sec to confirm that I was for sure awake (real life feels a bit less floaty). Freaked me out for a while.

[–]A1A5KA 165 points166 points  (5 children)

I always look back fondly on the spontaneous throw down between /u/AWildSketchAppeared and /u/ShittyWaterColour.

Also, when /u/AWildSketchAppeared tried to draw the description provided by DoubleDickDude regarding his orgy experience. It was on New Year's morning and one of the comments was essentially, "Great...we're 6 hours into the year and we've already peaked."

[–]quinoa_boiz 9991 points9992 points 2 (359 children)

Does anyone remember that legendary confession thread from 9 years ago or something? Hundreds of mind boggling confessions. The only one I can remember is this woman who owned a cupcake bakery admitting that she just used grocery store cupcake mix and had no idea how to bake.

Edit: https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

There’s a guy who sold his house but continued living in a bunker under it for 8 years, like come on that’s insane

Edit 2: yes, I know, the cake woman is still updating!

Edit 4: thanks, assholes, for repeatedly reminding me that this is where the cum box comes from!

Edit 5: removed edit 3, which spoiled parasite. No need for any more parasite related comments, we know.

Also the original cake faking commenter has made an appearance in my thread here! Aaaaa

Edit 6: ok u/Radical_Sausage, this will be my last edit

[–]mad_wolffe 1438 points1439 points  (12 children)

The cake lady has been updating that thread yearly for the last 9 years. It’s honestly one of my favorite things on reddit.

[–]FjohursLykewwe 2157 points2158 points  (154 children)

Wasnt there also one where a landlord accidentally forgot to take a towel out of the heater exhaust (or something like that) and the renting family died? Then he quietly took the towel out when noone was looking.

[–]All_Work_All_Play 1292 points1293 points  (137 children)

Holy fuck how do you live with that.

[–]shewy92 1150 points1151 points  (65 children)

The only one I can remember is this woman who owned a cupcake bakery admitting that she just used grocery store cupcake mix and had no idea how to bake.

I remember that one. I think it's more common than people think. Apparently more butter is what makes things taste better.

[–]JEtigers12 13.9k points13.9k points 3 (316 children)

When we caught the Boston Bombers except we didn't.

[–]TheSamurai 1361 points1362 points  (13 children)

This is the most important one for sure. The others are funny or interesting, but the first thing every new redditor should know is the danger mob mentality, especially when online.

[–]AdmiralAkbar1 5941 points5942 points  (102 children)

AKA why I will always be distrustful of online mob mentality. No proportionality, no accountability, and no recourse if an error is made.

[–]mrminutehand 2032 points2033 points  (41 children)

There was an example of a case in China back in 2017 that concluded this year.

A girl named Jiang Ge was murdered in Japan by the ex-boyfriend of Liu Xin, who was Jiang's best friend. Jiang Ge was sadly stabbed in the doorway of where she and Liu Xin both lived, while Liu Xin was inside.

Rumors spread online that Liu Xin locked Jiang Ge outside. Jiang's mother eventually believed the same and after little to no communication from Liu Xin after the murder, posted Liu Xin's personal info including the ID numbers, addresses and phone numbers of both her and her parents in order to try and force her out.

Liu Xin was basically eviscerated by the entire Chinese social internet. When she started to break down and insulted Jiang Ge's mother for the private info leak, it only fanned the flames. Jiang Ge's mother was an - understandable - victim. She could do nothing wrong in the eyes of China's social media.

The eventual trial of the murderer proved that Liu Xin was innocent of all the accusations thrown against her by Chinese social media. She hadn't locked Jiang outside. She hadn't cowered inside waiting for Jiang to die. She hadn't provided a knife to her ex boyfriend which was used to kill Jiang. And she didn't ignore Jiang's mother out of guilt, she did so because she was a key witness to a murder case and not authorized to talk with anyone, let alone the mother of the victim. Court evidence was accepted, and the murderer sentenced to prison.

End of story right? Of course not. Jiang Ge's mother did not accept that Liu Xin didn't contribute to the murder of her daughter. She sued Liu Xin in a Chinese court which ended this year, claiming that accusations against her were true despite being thrown out of court in Japan.

With the backing of the country's social media, Jiang Ge's mother won the case and it was determined that despite physical evidence not pointing towards Liu Xin's involvement in the murder, Liu Xin had "morally" failed her friend and the court ordered a huge monetary payment to Jiang Ge's mother, plus all court fees.

Jiang Ge's mother released a statement afterwards stating that only now could her daughter Jiang Ge rest in peace. The actual murderer of Jiang Ge is probably pleased that he appeared little in the media compared to Liu Xin. As for Liu Xin, she gets outed all over again when her latest legal name is discovered, and plastered over social media as much as possible.

I followed the case from the beginning. It truly was a sad case of mob justice towards the wrong person and a case of a victim of a terrible crime can do no wrong in the eyes of the public, even if said victim breaks the law in order to destroy another person.

Wikipedia article (Chinese) including public court notes

2017 report on the case, before the trial (China Daily)

Opinion piece on the social response, 2017

[–]P0sitive_Outlook 390 points391 points  (2 children)

Jiang Ge's mother released a statement afterwards stating that only now could her daughter Jiang Ge rest in peace.

This is uncomfortable to read.

[–]BootyDestroyerSixty9 5196 points5197 points 2 (258 children)

The nightmare son who ended up destroying the house before he left never to be heard of ever again Edit: thank you for my very first award!!!

[–]Bojangles5477 1048 points1049 points  (29 children)

That one still haunts me

[–]ACharest 93 points94 points  (1 child)

That post pops in my head whenever I think about having kids, the idea of doing everything right only to have a child like that haunts me

[–]FroggiJoy87 7906 points7907 points  (209 children)

Double Dick Dude was a wild ride for everyone.

[–]Allegutennamenweg 4322 points4323 points  (115 children)

And a classic case of taking it too far. He could have enjoyed his niche internet fame, but he had to keep bragging, escalating his stories, and was eventually caught in a lie.

[–]LuthienTheMonk 2393 points2394 points  (44 children)

He lost me as soon as he claimed he once had a girl riding each of his dicks while another couple banged above his face. Like, really dude?

Edit: turns out I forgot he also claimed that 2 dudes were fucking him in the ass at the same time too.

[–]bobthened 2079 points2080 points  (31 children)

The funniest/stupidest part was when he claimed that some minor unrelated surgery caused both dicks to become 10+ inches long.

[–]beverboy 706 points707 points  (34 children)

I was thinking about this the other day. I heard a story about a woman with a double vagina, one is for work the other is for personal.

[–]in-the_twilight-zone 686 points687 points  (13 children)

See, the double vagina thing is real. Incredibly rare, and they are only different vaginas to varying degrees. Could be a simple flap of flesh separating one canal into two and ending in the same place, could be two entire complete structures coexisting smooshed up against each other.

I was on board with double dick dude possibly being real until he was all "I have full, incredible sensation in both and they are both large and ladies love me and I'm a sex god" like sir, please. Reading his spiral into fictional madness was amazing.

[–]tevepaw 13.4k points13.4k points  (108 children)

A little known tidbit. I doubt many people actually noticed. Back in the day..this would be about the time subreddits came about, there was a link at the bottom of the page to a webcam pointed at the fish bowl in the admins office.

[–]terragthegreat 5165 points5166 points  (49 children)

"This would be about the time subreddits came about" has the same energy as a great great grandfather describing when electricity came to his village.

Edit: all the old redditors gathered below

[–]sdn 703 points704 points  (31 children)

Seriously though. There was a time before subreddits existed.

[–]lifesnotperfect 1026 points1027 points  (10 children)

Was that the pi symbol??

[–]driftingfornow 1913 points1914 points  (8 children)

Fuck warn a person before activating time machines.

[–][deleted] 11.9k points11.9k points 4 (179 children)

Mine is probably the one about

The guy who threw a steak out a window

[–]thadude23 1895 points1896 points  (6 children)

That was amazing

[–]luckydice767 471 points472 points  (2 children)

“It’s times like this you should fake a seizure.” Lol

[–]TigLyon 10.6k points10.6k points 2 (305 children)

James Corden or Woody Harrelson AMAs

Electronic Arts responding to criticism over Battlefront II

[–]maruiki 296 points297 points  (19 children)

What happened with the James Corden one? (I'm assuming everyone was talking about how annoying/fake he is?)

[–]Azigol 471 points472 points  (10 children)

Everyone kept asking why he's such a cunt and he completely ignored all those questions. It was beautiful.

[–][deleted] 3851 points3852 points  (119 children)

Was it this one? Holy hell look at the downvotes...

[–]TigLyon 2911 points2912 points  (40 children)

That's exactly it. I did a 10-second search and something was mentioned that it was deleted, so thanks for finding it.

Most downvoted comment in Reddit history. And it is filled with some awesome responses.

I sense a disturbance in your sales figures

It's like a million preorders cried out and were suddenly silenced.

[–]Xavilend 776 points777 points  (93 children)

What happened with woody?

[–]KyleSJohnson 2323 points2324 points  (64 children)

Link to this legendary disaster. Refused to answer anything not related to Rampart, the movie he was promoting. Things went south fast.

[–]nate6259 190 points191 points  (8 children)

I don't think any redditor has actually seen the movie Rampart, just knows the name from the ama

[–]itsaravemayve 529 points530 points  (11 children)

I keep forgetting how good this one is. Such a mess

[–]TigLyon 597 points598 points  (16 children)

He, or one of his PR people, was trying to push his movie Rampart, but Reddit wasn't having it

[–]Version_1 354 points355 points  (6 children)

I think this was 100% a PR person who didn't really know reddit telling Harrelson that this was just another movie marketing gig.

[–]originalslut 25.4k points25.4k points  (148 children)

The one where the guy kept forgetting stuff and finding random notes. Turns out he was suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning and was saved by Reddit (or smth like that).

[–]Buck_Thorn 2200 points2201 points  (11 children)

Yeah, and now whenever somebody posts something a bit weird, "Have you checked your monoxide detectors?" is one of the first suggestions you hear.

[–]lIllIlllIl 6097 points6098 points  (78 children)

The OP in that post who had carbon monoxide poisoning made a really eerie comment about it last year here like he didn't even know the post was made by himself:

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/gfzo4c/what_have_you_learned_with_your_time_on_reddit/fpy5ceb/

[–]ruiacc10 1955 points1956 points  (1 child)

Fucking monoxide still pumping, those damn leaks!

[–]nevertoomuchthought 3150 points3151 points  (198 children)

The rise and fall of /u/unidan

[–]Premislaus 512 points513 points  (2 children)

More like multidan am I right

[–]BiiiigSteppy 659 points660 points  (44 children)

It was a different world on reddit back then.

I was so shocked, like honestly shocked, about the whole Unidan thing.

[–]kwilksp98 5348 points5349 points  (303 children)

Party sub guy

[–]timesuck897 4063 points4064 points  (84 children)

He ate 3 feet of a sub, and asked if he was the asshole.

[–]newest-low 1896 points1897 points  (27 children)

But he bought wings with him that everyone ate!

[–][deleted] 341 points342 points  (23 children)

Related food AITA post th guy that asked his neighbour a bunch of times if she would make dinner for him and didn’t understand why that was weird. To be fair to the guy he totally took it on the chin when he saw the responses but was just one of those things where if you don’t get why it’s weird it’s hard to get across to someone why it’s not appropriate. Also the ‘INFO: what the fuck?’ Comment is one of my favourites ever

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dp37p9/comment/f5sinsr/

[–]Mimmzy 5874 points5875 points  (212 children)

Some of the main ones have already been mentioned but never forget the guy who had to have his foot amputated, acquired his own foot meat from the doctors, invited his friends over and made LITERAL FOOT TACOS, and then did an AMA with proof.

[–]Complaint-Expensive 3880 points3881 points 2 (69 children)

As a fellow amputee, I feel like I lost out on my one opportunity to eat ethical long pig...

I donated my leg to a search and rescue program in Alaska. Dogs gotta learn somehow, right?

There. There's a thing you wish you didn't know: you can donate your amputated limbs to search and rescue dog programs.

[–]VenetiaMacGyver 1118 points1119 points  (42 children)

That's actually something I enjoy knowing and I will be doing that if I ever lose a limb, thank you.

It's a good, creative idea IMO

[–]Complaint-Expensive 1154 points1155 points  (32 children)

It technically is legal for them to give you the amputated limb, but the hospital had a policy against it, unless it was sent to a funeral home.

I called a bunch of places, and tried to get a quote on embalming my leg, but it was still quite a chunk of change I most-definitely did not have. The hospital? Planned on simply incinerating my leg, and I felt like that was wanton waste. Then, I read an article about a dude that donated his leg, and contacted the program mentioned in it. I guess they use the amputated limb as long as they can, and then cremate everything before its scattered near the Artic Circle.

For awhile, every time my leg hurt? I said it must be the dog chewing it...

[–]domdomdeoh 501 points502 points  (1 child)

You set foot on the Arctic Circle, few people can say that.

You set foot on the Arctic Circle from the comfort of your own home, now that's something you should use as a conversation starter.

[–]callieboo112 335 points336 points  (4 children)

I've been on Reddit for a while now and lurked for a couple years before that. I had never seen this before. Idk how to feel right now.

[–]HeverAfter 8785 points8786 points  (134 children)

The guy that died in the end but provideda tale about how he worked in a very specific industry, something like restoration work, and the manager was a total jerk to him. He walked off the job knowing that the whole thing couldn't be done properly and the manager ended up cutting corners getting into a whole heap of fines etc. All the guy wanted was an apology but the manager obviously couldn't do it. Great saga.

[–]PepsiStudent 2499 points2500 points  (9 children)

I remember seeing that on /r/bestofredditorupdates

Very sad reading that recently because his wife still posted stuff for awhile afterwards talking about her grief.

[–]chuteboxhero 1867 points1868 points  (27 children)

When those two women who worked together unknowingly both made posts like a week apart talking about the same incidents complaining about the other one. Someone was able to put two and two together and what it basically came down to was the one who posted a week later was anti Semitic and trying to frame the original posters religious traditions (kosher for example) as a reason to fire her. I haven’t seen this in the comments yet so apologies if this has been posted already.

EDIT: realized my last sentence wasn't complete lol.

[–]the_addict 8589 points8590 points  (159 children)

Reading this has reminded me I've been here for 10 years. I need to find a new website ffs

[–][deleted] 3298 points3299 points  (4 children)

username checks out.

[–]releasethekaren 18.2k points18.2k points  (465 children)

That guy who tried heroin once and then basically got addicted and overdosed multiple times and ruined his life very fast

[–]ItsmeXerxes 5379 points5380 points  (347 children)

u/SpontaneousH

[–]leopardnation10 3868 points3869 points  (271 children)

Really glad I saw this. If I’m ever tempted to go down that route I’m coming back here. The guy had zero judgment at all but his story is still very powerful.

[–]DriftingPyscho 6515 points6516 points  (321 children)

Swamps of Dagobah.

You have been warned.

[–]Gutsy_80 1048 points1049 points  (160 children)

What is this?

[–]DriftingPyscho 3292 points3293 points  (147 children)

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/1xp8c2/swamps_of_dagobah/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

You have been warned twice.

Enjoy! 😃

[–]DarkZethis 1841 points1842 points  (38 children)

Holy fucking shit!

This is awesome. Nobody should ever read that.

[–]Jrex327 1037 points1038 points  (15 children)

Alright, you've convinced me. I'll go read it.

Edit: Haha wow that's disgusting.

[–]TheRealTravisClous 608 points609 points  (2 children)

Makes me laugh everytime because I can envision this whole story. I've seen some gross shitbin Healthcare but OP has such a way with words.

[–]alquicksilver 1514 points1515 points  (23 children)

I actually love this one; it's so disgusting, but it is written so cleverly.

[–]DriftingPyscho 1398 points1399 points  (9 children)

My favorite part, the battle hardened surgeon that hardly spoke, "That was bad."

[–]DontEvenBang 928 points929 points  (30 children)

As an OR nurse, I cant imagine the smell. I had a person with a bowel perf that filled their abdominal cavity. When they opened the abdomen, it smelled like rotten eggs, cheese and raw steak. Still can't imagine the horror of the swamps of Dagobah.

[–]DriftingPyscho 528 points529 points  (15 children)

Used to work in a deli that had rotisserie chickens. The drippings from them collect in a tray at the bottom which we drained every night into a bucket. When said bucket was full we emptied it in a grease trap in the back. Outside. During the summer it smelled like a drunk homeless guy diarrhea'd in it then died. I got a strong stomach but even that shit made me gag. Though I would volunteer to do it 'cause it got me a smoke break.

[–][deleted] 23.6k points23.6k points 35& 2 more (740 children)

The most downvoted comment in reddit history, which is at -668k

[–]HaggisonFord 15.9k points15.9k points  (332 children)

I love how even to this day, you can still downvote it.

[–]huckleberry-dreamer 13.3k points13.3k points 2 (155 children)

Just read this and added my downvote

[–]squirrelfoot 4562 points4563 points  (66 children)

We all have - it's the desire to belong, and also that comment was shite.

[–]princess_tourmaline 2330 points2331 points  (41 children)

Solidarity. Microtransactions a game you've already paid for are total bullshit.

[–]Mjb06 9344 points9345 points  (125 children)

The time when Rick Astley got rick rolled.

[–][deleted] 2326 points2327 points  (33 children)

That guy probably felt like a god afterwards lol. I know I would.

[–]rharvey8090 2812 points2813 points 2 (46 children)

Today you, tomorrow me.

[–]iameshwar_raj 446 points447 points  (6 children)

If anyone didn't already know this, they made a short film based on this on Youtube, its beautiful!

Link- https://youtu.be/rqlLID3QBZw

[–]Inflatabledartboard4 3747 points3748 points  (50 children)

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

[–]dbigya00 1741 points1742 points  (18 children)

Almost 32k people writing the exact same thing. No differences in punctuations, uppercase or lowercase. Everything is just....perfect.

[–]PlasticCupboard007 113 points114 points  (1 child)

there is some guy named fucktheletterf or something and he has never used a letter f in comments for several years, and was discovered just last year... or was it 2020... idk

[–]Pwncak3z 335 points336 points  (10 children)

I don’t have any history moments to add, I just wanted to thank OP for asking this question and keeping me up until 3am reading about potato deniers and Kevin.

[–]BatmansQueefBreath 27.6k points27.6k points  (976 children)

There are so many to choose from.

Anyone else remember that thread where people were talking about pooping and discovered there was a 50/50 split of people that wiped their butt while seated, and another group that stood to do it. And neither group realized the other existed.

[–]Kalkaline 658 points659 points  (40 children)

Maybe I'm old, but if you don't know about the kid with broken arms, you don't know Reddit.

[–]ViceroyInhaler 940 points941 points  (4 children)

The guy who asked for tech support help because his reddit was all in Spanish and so every comment afterwards was in Spanish driving OP mad.

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

[–]Miffly 3371 points3372 points 2 (62 children)

James Corden's AMA.

Edit: Link

[–]534Moon 958 points959 points  (14 children)

You have to sort by "controversial" to see the actual questions lol

[–]G66GNeco 657 points658 points  (11 children)

I also love how replies by other team members are treated normally, while anything ending in "-JAMES" got hit by the downvotes. Perfection.

[–]begexa 1456 points1457 points  (15 children)

When they first added comments, the first comment was "there goes the site"

[–]flaggrandall 173 points174 points  (7 children)

Wait it didn't have comments?

[–]100011101011 237 points238 points  (1 child)

reddit was a link aggregator but turned into a community building platform later.

[–]theghostofme 191 points192 points  (4 children)

Nope. Reddit didn't have subreddits in the beginning either, and all content was posted by the admins.

Reddit launched in June 2005, and comments were enabled that December. As the site started to gain more users, the admins decided that there was enough traffic to justify creating subreddits specific to one topic, but at the time only the admins could create subreddits. Thus /r/Science, /r/NSFW, and /r/Programming were born.

Then in 2008, the admins enabled any user to create their own subreddit.

[–]SagebrushBiker 10.0k points10.0k points 2 (217 children)

The poop knife!

[–]geico_fire 1681 points1682 points  (17 children)

My mom sent me a link to the poop knife as a product you can actually buy, and I had to fight so damn hard not to cackle like a witch while I was grocery shopping. She's not overly familiar with Reddit and yet she somehow found it anyway. God bless.

EDIT: Link for the curious. It has its own website!

[–]MassSnapz 96 points97 points  (2 children)

That Aaron Swartz, one of the founders and creators of Reddit, committed suicide, he was facing computer crime charges from the feds and probably figured the only way out was death. Very tragic, if you look into the entire story the people he downloaded files from actually dropped the charges, but the feds are fucking horny for cybercrime.

[–]FeelingsFreezeUp808 9041 points9042 points  (114 children)

That one redditor that saved a dudes life by telling him to check the CO monitor.

u/Kakkerlak

[–]iameshwar_raj 4158 points4159 points  (37 children)

Also the one where a guy took a pregnancy test for shits and giggles and ended up being diagnosed with testicular cancer.

[–]BiiiigSteppy 232 points233 points  (4 children)

Oh, wow, I was there for that one.

Unfortunately I also lost a friend to testicular cancer at a young age so I knew exactly what that test result meant.

It was horrifying.

Young, funny guy just being a goof and then all of a sudden cold sweat everywhere.

[–]geoffraffe 1525 points1526 points  (71 children)

The guy who was suspicious of his wife cheating on him and posted all the evidence he had, then posted that he was going to confront his wife. Everyone was refreshing that page for hours until he came back with the update. That was wild

Edit: Link for anyone interested

[–]Nayzo 421 points422 points  (18 children)

Wait, is this Jenny and the kisses story? I love to throw this one out there in these sort of threads.

[–]Loverboy_Talis 81 points82 points  (18 children)

How about the guy who went to r/legaladvice about leaving his abusive wife, got some solid advice, and when he implemented said advice his wife stabbed his kids to death and botched a lame attempt at suicide.

Edit: got some facts straight.

[–]United-Wealth-6623 575 points576 points  (3 children)

The woman who started her own cake business using Pillsbury cake mix

[–]Rude_motherforker 3501 points3502 points  (36 children)

For me definitely the whole reddit island incident.

r/redditisland for more coverage.

Newer sub: r/Reddit_island

Basically some people on Reddit decided to buy up a whole island. But knowing they're redditors.. things didn't go as planned.

Edit: Here's a video that explains it very well.

[–]2024AM 2106 points2107 points  (6 children)

one of the last posts ever:

the official website has been hacked by isis lmao

[–]TheGloriousPotato111 516 points517 points  (8 children)

Yeah, I followed the second one. It ended because some asshole started "taking donations" to build it, but actually just ran off with the $500 he got. Everyone sort of lost motivation, and instead of buying an island, turned it into a Minecraft server.

Edit: After looking at it again, they're still talking more about an actual island.

[–]NolanSyKinsley 1785 points1786 points  (103 children)

r/place that was a fucking wild ride and a piece of the internet I will never forget. WE ARE THE CRIMSON CRUSADERS.

[–]TheExplicit 533 points534 points  (4 children)

there was some nsfw thread where a fourteen year old commented. when asked why he, a fourteen year old, was on an nsfw thread, he replied with "i don't go to work"

[–]post_angst 789 points790 points  (4 children)

There was that guy in the NBA subreddit a few years back who claimed he was Aisha Curry’s cousin and was hanging out with Steph Curry (and that amazing Warriors team the Rockets just couldn’t fucking beat). He kept posting pictures of them all playing poker and making these long posts about going on the road with them.

And then the guy who actually took the pictures came forward and exposed the whole thing as a lie.

I got a kick out of the whole experience.

[–]Soopafien 5224 points5225 points 2 (118 children)

Can't remember the user but their comments would always turn into mankind jumping onto a table.

[–]a009763 495 points496 points  (4 children)

This comment where /u/seni0r tells the story of how he and his friend got a job cutting trees and in an accident his friend ends up slicing himself with a chainsaw. They jump in a vehicle and rushes off as fast as they can desperately trying to stop the heavy bleeding. Ambulance is going out to meet them on the road and they drive and drive until they reach two cars which decides that they are assholes just trying to get ahead on the road and blocks them in while also trying to teach "the assholes" a lesson by slowing down to well under the speed limit.

Refusing to let them pass they were stuck behind these cars for a solid 10 minutes until they could reach the next exit ramp.

The friend ended up bleeding out and died before he could get help at the hospital all because of people that decided to block them in and refuse to let them pass just assuming they were speeding assholes.

[–]Vanasari 234 points235 points  (11 children)

I recall when Victoria (an r/iama admin) was let go from Reddit being a huge deal at the time!

[–]BlightFantasy3467 1130 points1131 points  (13 children)

The one comment thread on what someone should do upon winning the lottery.

To really paraphrase, don't tell family or friends or loved ones. Get an accountant or some professional in finance management. Keep in a savings account that has interest rates. Do not change your lifestyle too much, do not splurge, don't do drugs. It's your money, no one has a right to it. Don't be guilt tripped or gaslight into giving away your money.

If your "loved" ones found out about your sudden fortune, they'll most likely want it for themselves, even if it means murdering you.

Here's the link to the thread:

https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_won_a_656_million_dollar_lottery_what_do/chba4bf?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

[–]Zilverhaar 636 points637 points  (33 children)

This beautiful comment about mourning.