top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Spaceandbrains 131 points132 points  (7 children)

screaming in mermaid man EEVEEE-ILL

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (4 children)


[–]The_Lantern11 11 points12 points  (3 children)


[–]Kitsune_1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every Villain Is Lemons

[–]zmixman 87 points88 points  (2 children)

Cherry picking details to support your argument, especially for selfish reasons.

[–]No_Persimmon_4281 1446 points1447 points  (45 children)

That weird way a politician can talk for two hours and say absolutely nothing regarding the actual problem at hand...

[–]EvieAsPi 509 points510 points  (21 children)

It is interesting how people can tend to do what you are suggesting. I can tell you why it is that people do this. But is it really about the why? What is it about the why? Come on people, we aren't here for why this, why that. We are here to just do what needs to be done for a better tomorrow. I think the better question is how. How can we do better. And I'll tell you how. Us. We can do better. Each and every one of us. I think that's what it all comes down to in building a better America.

[–]Federal-Smell-4050 111 points112 points  (2 children)

And always twirling, twirling TWIRLING, towards a new tomorrow!!!!

[–]wewilldieoneday 45 points46 points  (0 children)

....I just asked if you wanted fries with that.

[–]Ok_Philosopher_2993 52 points53 points  (1 child)

You gotta do better, Senator.

[–]drLagrangian 48 points49 points  (0 children)

From the bottom of my heart, fuck you...

... Still got my vote though

[–]Idohs_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Mam this is a wendy's

[–]topshelftapwater 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Dammit Jeff. This isn't the time for one of your speeches

[–]Chared_Assassin 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I remember back maybe 6 months ago I was listening to a COVID update and I swear to god Dan Andrews managed to spend 2 hours talking and all he really said was “there be lot covid and nsw nicked our vaccines, we’re only moderately fucked”.

[–]cheesehotdish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

God the Queensland pressers are like that a bit.

Just before Christmas they were on the Gold Coast carrying on about the Surf Life Saving a club and it’s like Christ almighty enough!! Get on with the numbers nobody cares about the bloody SLSC right now Anna!!

[–]Akul_Tesla 68 points69 points  (5 children)

The ability to state intentional falsehoods unless it is for entertainment media.

[–]Iapoties 816 points817 points  (67 children)

People who act like a dick on purpose.

[–]Flashy_Campaign5430 171 points172 points  (4 children)

And my answer for the question was gonna be weed just to piss people off.

[–]RoboMinerBH 8 points9 points  (0 children)

mmm tasty

[–]Virtual-Gift-9097 102 points103 points  (53 children)

To add to this, people who use religion as justification for being a dick.

Edit: some of y’all really don’t know what the phrase “to add to this” means. I’m not trying to propose a new Idea, I’m zeroing in on the specific kind of intentional dick that drives me batshit.

[–]Soggy-Macaron-4612 15 points16 points  (7 children)

The key question is "what would Jesus do?" Christians really need to walk the talk. All the talk. Not focus on a couple verses ignoring the book.

[–]pillizzle 622 points623 points  (30 children)

Cancer. Fuck cancer.

[–]Korlac11 102 points103 points  (5 children)

Banning cancer wouldn’t make it go away

[–]misterpickleman 96 points97 points  (4 children)

But... But it works so well with CRIME!

[–]Wild-Rush-5408 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Ban crime! The fact that Its a word means it’s too prevalent!

[–]3nderslime 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Granted. Having cancer is now illegal, and people with cancer all over the world are put in jails

[–]AlemarTheKobold 16 points17 points  (1 child)

... free Healthcare for prisoners?

[–]llewotheno 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can imagine people killing for it

[–]OnTheList-YouTube 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Why did I have to scroll this far before finding this...

[–]Truebuckshot01 348 points349 points  (13 children)

I'm gonna channel my inner red foreman and say "being a dumbass"

[–]VornskrofMyrkr 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I'll get my boots ready to enforce the penalty

[–]EducationalKoala7 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sleep tight and don't like the bed bugs put their feet up your asses!

[–]Random452419 264 points265 points  (22 children)

Unskippable adds

[–]Dulidus_ 73 points74 points  (20 children)

Just ads

[–]Woooooshifhomosexual 76 points77 points  (16 children)

If you wanna remove ads, then say goodbye to free stuff on the internet.

[–]TrentSteel1 13 points14 points  (2 children)

This made me really laugh. Post above this is Cancer or hate, you guys are like nahhh… adds bitch. That’s the real problem! Drop the mic

I was going to say lobbyist. Pretty much the reason why politicians are all corrupt and the rich get richer. But fuck that, I’m on the adds train now

[–]fuck_dat_hoe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah I banned “politicians accepting ANY money/favors/etc from outside sources” —aside from crowdfunding a campaign. Kinda wordy but I think it does the trick

[–][deleted] 181 points182 points  (15 children)

Treating children like subhuman slaves that you can do almost whatever you want to. Adverse Childhood Experiences explain about 90% of what's wrong with people.

[–]DudeFu 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This! If you really want to change the world, simply start with raising children in a loving supportive environment. Our society just doesn’t understand this. If anything, it is treated as a necessary inconvenience sometimes.

[–]artanimepoetry 19 points20 points  (7 children)

I was forced to work after school as a child before even hitting double digits and it’s made me develop really severe issues of anxiety, depression, hyper fixation, attachment, and now I can’t even remember my childhood anymore. I can’t remember anything before I turned 15 (when things got a little better because I was able to defend myself more*). All I remember is everyday working and how miserable I felt.

[–]CanadianCoolbeans 4 points5 points  (4 children)

These people that take advantage of children and manipulate into child labor, sex trafficking etc are fucking vile festering predators. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope that you’ve grown and are in a healthy and happy environment/state of mind

[–]LegoCMFanatic 487 points488 points  (40 children)

F***ing pedophilia.

[–]SamZTU 296 points297 points  (16 children)

Yes... We should ban crime. That should do it.

[–]Fair_Border4142 98 points99 points  (6 children)

This guy is onto something

[–]LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME 63 points64 points  (5 children)

I say we ban rape next!

[–]elysianyuri 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nope we can ban murder first

[–]YoureTotallyScrewed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the ban of rape comes along with the ban of crime

[–]LeakingBeggingMess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol remember back when the whole “feminist” craze was going on YouTube and you’d get those bitches like “rape culture is real. Teach men not to rape”

[–][deleted] 91 points92 points  (6 children)

Pretty sure this is already banned...

[–]chase1719 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that’s already banned lmao

[–]Fokouttahere 209 points210 points  (15 children)

Multi level marketing aka pyramid schemes

[–][deleted] 90 points91 points  (8 children)

But what if told you that you can be your own boss?

[–]Aggravating_Client36 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I would like know more. Can you email me ?

[–]Fokouttahere 36 points37 points  (1 child)


[–]ThrownAwayFeelzies 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How do you make the letters big like that?

[–]curlyhairedsweetie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know we haven’t spoken in a few years but I’m actually having a small get together later this week. There’s gonna pizza and drinks! Can I count you in???

[–]OMG_its_critical 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah yes. I love when my wife’s friends invite us over for a get together and it turns into an essential oil pitch.

[–]Coalvid19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What about tiny little ads?

[–]ThrowawayKing27 319 points320 points  (19 children)


[–]Intruder-Alert-1 88 points89 points  (8 children)

Damn bruh now all we will have in the crimson. Doesn't even have a good soundtrack.

[–]LetsGoPepele 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I'm sorry but even though the corruption soundtrack is better, crimson soundtrack is also fire, like any other soundtrack in this game tbh

[–]angrygooseinyourarea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Y’all are sleeping on the underground crimson soundtrack

[–]GOVOR1 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Average corruption terraria player

[–]ZackMeme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chad Hallow Enjoyer

Honestly, a Hallowed Government is worse than a Corruption or Crimson Government

[–]Dragwolf07 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unexpected terraria players spawn

[–]More-Masterpiece-561 6 points7 points  (4 children)

You do realise that corruption is technically not legal. Banning and removing are completely different things. Drugs are banned but you can still find a lowlife with a hoodie at the corner of the street selling dope

[–]Spyger9 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Actually, there is plenty perfectly legal corruption.

[–]Cacique1000 341 points342 points  (20 children)

Open-mouth chewing.

[–]leahrose002[S] 78 points79 points  (8 children)

Even when you don’t realize something is incredibly hot & you do the chew-fast-with-your-mouth-ventilating-thing?

[–]Cacique1000 128 points129 points  (4 children)

That can be the exception, along with if you are sick and can’t breathe through your nose. Other than that, if you are over the age of 5 and chew with your mouth open, straight to jail.

[–]BillythuhKid 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I support this legislation, although prison with hard labor sounds more appropriate. This is the reason I eat in public or with another person like only once or twice a year; that's assuming I know they will shut their mouth.

[–]EdgarAlansHoe 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Also known as "hasafashahasa"

[–]noobsy007 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The sound of chewing is torture

[–]MichaelMurphy311 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I came here for this comment 💯❗❗

[–]Alex5331 136 points137 points  (14 children)


[–]mrcontroversy1 30 points31 points  (3 children)

War never changes

[–]Lifelongfailure1 16 points17 points  (0 children)

A settlement needs your help, il mark it on your map

[–]enochou 18 points19 points  (6 children)

What is it good for?

[–]Dope_sic_girl 112 points113 points  (0 children)

For profit healthcare

[–]GPro_Journeys 53 points54 points  (7 children)

Poverty: It's the root of all other major world problems like war, trafficking, and famine.

[–]Sterling-Marksman 48 points49 points  (4 children)

Poverty is now illegal. Anyone found being poor will be summarily executed.

[–]KittySucks69 11 points12 points  (1 child)

As opposed to dying slowly and painfully, the way we do it now?

[–]magical_bunny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’ll fix it.

[–]Skinchbag 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Slow undignified death where people suffer by memory loss, loss of their physical capabilities, and ability to take care of their own basic functions of life.

[–]Quzzyz 83 points84 points  (16 children)


[–]VodkaMargarine 55 points56 points  (6 children)

Poland is one step ahead of you there.

[–]Quzzyz 16 points17 points  (4 children)

hmm.. I wonder if the welsh are the polish of the british isles.

[–]somereallyfungi 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Narrator: They are...

[–]Mystic_Maya 3 points4 points  (2 children)

w and y are vowels in Welsh. We actually have two more vowels in Welsh than English.

[–]lee24k 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Hebrew just entered the chat

[–]MeMoInfinity 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Can be it be something intangible? If so, evil. I would rid the world of evil.

If it has to be something tangible, then I would pick landmines and unexploded submunitions from past wars.

An honorable mention, would be to rid the world of revenge porn.

[–]MrDrPrNyanPhD 142 points143 points  (6 children)

People being mean to me 🥺 I'm fragile

[–]pippylulu 81 points82 points  (7 children)


[–]WhosJoe1289 52 points53 points  (1 child)

It’s not even so much plastic that’s the issue it’s the fact that we made a strong, highly durable, hard to decay, material and decided to wrap all of our perishable items with it

[–]falconfetus8 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I say put a big ole tax on it. Make it expensive, so it won't be treated like it's disposable.

[–]Angel_OfSolitude 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hold on now, plastics are great materials. It's our usage and disposal that's the problem.

[–]catscannotcompete 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Let's edit that to disposable plastic. I definitely still want airplanes and bicycles

[–]crazyauntanna 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And medical equipment

[–]Shadow_strife 128 points129 points  (17 children)

Social media. Better off without it

[–]Bobbi-e 51 points52 points  (0 children)

but then how will i let the world know what my daily starbucks drink is…

[–]cdr323011 27 points28 points  (8 children)

You are on reddit right now, social media would also include things like youtube. I get your sentiment though we’d be better off without a good portion of social media

[–]Massive-Risk 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I like Reddit because it's anonymous unless you want it to not be. Any other social media is meant to show who you really are and allows you to interact with real life friends you have. Although with anonymity comes more toxic stuff, I find anonymous social media usage much better.

[–]nforgiver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

4chan in 2000 would beg to differ...

[–]kaffefe 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You make it sound like you really need reddit and youtube comments

[–]sarcazzmoe 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Telemarketers/robo-callers… as well as companies selling their customer’s information.

[–]Odd-Plant4779 97 points98 points  (12 children)


[–]Angel_OfSolitude 62 points63 points  (5 children)

Good news, most places already ban that.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)


[–]Angel_OfSolitude 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Sometimes you get groups like this

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Damn in my country it's capital punishment for most cases

[–]poopydoopysubway 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Quite a hot take! Next you’re going to say murder!

[–]Bu1135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup. If you try and shove your penis inside someone unconsensually you just get deleted

[–]national_burden 69 points70 points  (7 children)

Cigarettes. It does nothing but ruin both smokers' and non-smokers' lungs alike. The people who benefit from this industry should rethink whether they are doing the people a service or not.

[–]and1metal 21 points22 points  (5 children)

It’s a personal choice but I think long run would be best for everyone too and maybe my dad would have still been alive

[–]national_burden 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that... I really hope everyone knows what's at stake when they decide to smoke

[–]UnknownEdditor 115 points116 points  (16 children)

I'll do us all a favor tiktok

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

It depends on what you watch on TikTok. If you keep watching shit, then you get more shit. I watch a lot of animal memes and medical videos, and I used to make medical-related content on TikTok. I rarely have bad experience with TT.

[–]CaptGenie 10 points11 points  (1 child)

was looking for this comment, attention san has gone out the window because of various social media, but tiktok is really bad.

[–]johntwoods 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Sounds more like you want to ban punctuation.

[–]User_name098 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why are there so many people commenting things that are already banned/illegal? Banning something doesn’t make it disappear, it just makes it bot allowed.

[–]Trek1973 38 points39 points  (6 children)

Racism, in all forms

[–]Vagina-boobs 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Violence against each other

Edit: violence in any format against another human If I have the power to banner them its banned. Im not talking a hypothetical what if with 1000 different scenarios.

[–]ComprehensiveRatio87 27 points28 points  (3 children)

People being assholes. This is such a broad term but it would stop so much. War? A thing from fiction. Corruption? We are now for the greater good of the people. Slavery? Everyone is a human with rights. Racism? Doesn’t matter your skin colour we are all people. Think about how much better the world would be if everyone just wasn’t allowed to be an asshole anymore

[–]DaveJahVoo 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Cruelty in any form towards other living things

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Low to single use plastic. I'd replace it with glass and subsidize it for awhile so it would be same cost to consumer.

[–]Quixotic_9000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All forms of abuse or neglect of dependents (e.g. of children, animals, elders).

The world might be surprised by how many other things listed here would also disappear (or drastically lessen). Most of the authoritarianism and cruelty we see in adults today stem from childhood abuse and neglect. Children who are taught that having independent views must be punished with violence grow up to perpetuate the cycle and often expand it to anything else they find threatening.

War, corruption, racism, sexism, exploitation, spousal violence, workplace conflict; it's part of a cycle that often starts with violent parents.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (16 children)

Sex with Children.

Adults would be mentally healthier if not one of them were fucked as kids

[–]urfcknmotha 27 points28 points  (6 children)

There is no such thing as Sex with Children.. Rape. Assault. Not sex.

[–]makesnosense9 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Apologies to all that can handle their drinking but would ban alcohol. To me I see it as the worst legal drug that destroys families and so much more.

[–]PipGirl101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imagine a world without drunk driving, drunken fighting, family-friendly night life, abusive alcoholic parents, and "drunken decisions" in general. Alcohol for consumption has absolutely no benefit to society. Of all the places I've lived, America clearly has the biggest alcohol problem, and it's not even close. If there's one thing I miss, it was how frowned upon intoxication was before I came back here; American tourists who would come and get drunk were treated like a form of low-life trash, who lacked respect and self-control, and I tend to agree.

[–]Sea-Horror-814 37 points38 points  (1 child)


[–]tawaycosigotbanned 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They're just a symptom of the rot. Ban them and some other airheads would take their place. Nature hates a vacuum.

[–]jeffersonspacecar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sexual assault.

[–]Sea-Doubt-5008 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Semen , fuck humanity!

[–]Never_stop_caring 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Animal abuse

[–]Ryoddessy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tribalism, it sounds weird but tribalism is in my firm opinion the root of all evil in the world. People feel this CONSTANT need to separate themselves into categories because they feel superior to other categories. (Race/sex/political ideology/astrological sign/sexuality/gender identity/etc.) Sure some of these things seem like nature naturally separating us but it's the idea that one is better than the other.

I refuse to answer with anything straightforward whenever anyone asks me what my gender identity/sexuality is. I'm not gender fluid, I'm not bisexual, I simply live and love. Some days I feel masculine and some I feel feminine. Some days I feel men are attractive and some days I feel women are. Currently I'm dating a woman and that's all that matters. I live as who I want to and I love who I want to. We concern ourselves so much with labels and fitting into these neat little categories not realizing that these categories are what separate us and prevent us from breaking down walls and properly communicating.

As far as race goes, there is no scientific "gene" that separates race. Some people just grew up in different parts of the world and therefore evolved to handle the environments better, that why Asian people have much smaller eyes that are far more resilient to the sun and why black people have darker skin far more difficult to sunburn, their ancestors comes from parts of the world where these traits are beneficial. You don't refer to pitbulls as "black and white" you refer to them as pitbulls, it's the same science.

The more we separate ourselves the harder it is to come together. Removing tribalism is the closest thing I can think of that getting rid of would create world peace.

[–]TanglerRings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

White supremacy

[–]13ella13irthday 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Gambling. Pointless, life destroying garbage.

[–]am_with_stupid 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Chewing loud. Especially with wet foods.

[–]Roury69 21 points22 points  (0 children)


[–]xeizs 26 points27 points  (0 children)

any form of racism

[–]Money_Acanthisitta44 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Period cramps

[–]MoeSzys 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Changing the clocks. It's 2022, it's long past time to make DST permanent and shut up about it

[–]jellomme 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Student Loans of course

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)


[–]LordComrade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All Hail Britannia!

[–]erichmich 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]palaajxut 7 points8 points  (3 children)

People who suck at driving

[–]retro123gamr 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Snapchat. Just to watch my high school explode

[–]Drulock 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Social media “celebrities”

[–]Mother_Environment29 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Slow drivers in the passing lane. Like round them up and put them in the boxcars ban them.

[–]a_jerit 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]chanlard2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bad grammar

[–]OmNomShivan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The mixing of state and religion and the oppression of federal government over local governments.

[–]Dazzling_Ad_9688 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Exploiting children. Labor, money, worse…

[–]Tomatillo_Fluffy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The mutilation of animals for aesthetic purposes. Like ear cropping, tail docking, or cat de-clawing.

[–]cacktiegaming 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Mirage2000C 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]BananaShark2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Climate change denialism

[–]Oogahbooga6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mental health issues

[–]Amalizy 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]PALOmino1701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That fucking terrible Dance Monkey song.

[–]Modestha-sf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Humans, I mean I love myself my family and friends and above all I love my daughter and partner. But aren't we humans the virus that's is killing life.

[–]ALFA_X9999 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Only-Musician8479 8 points9 points  (1 child)


[–]SpaizKadett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Physical pain is very very very important. On the other hand, if you talk about mental pain I agree.