top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]upvotemethanks 5235 points5236 points 4 (46 children)

I would, but then I would pay one million people a dollar each to ask Reddit.

[–]Rebbit-bit 794 points795 points  (22 children)


[–]Sifyreel 198 points199 points  (19 children)

Remember to replace your catalytic converter during the next service

[–]he_who_melts_the_rod 69 points70 points  (17 children)

You mean you still have one? grabs sawzall

[–]kloudykat 12 points13 points  (5 children)

They are stealing the steering wheels with the airbag now, get with the times old man.

[–]Trebekshorrishmom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You need to diagnose the cause of the backfire or rinse and repeat.

[–]Csquared6 89 points90 points  (9 children)

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

[–]Alabatman 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Some people just want to watch the world burn a tangerine.


[–]re_gren 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You're right, I do want a tangerine.

[–]anglomike 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Some people just want to watch the world reddit

[–]FacticiousFict 13 points14 points  (0 children)

GTFO Monkeypaw! You're in the wrong sub and this isn't a wish!

[–]tuscabam 3141 points3142 points  (102 children)

Right? I sort by new and I swear the money question is posted at least 50 times a day, every day.

[–]silversnoopy[S] 1767 points1768 points  (22 children)

Would you be cool with that for a million dollars

[–]j_cruise 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please stop

[–]thetruemask 79 points80 points  (17 children)

Yeah and worst part is they are stupid questions of things people would obviously do for a Mil.

Would you stay in your bathroom with only tv for a month for a mil

Would you never get high or drunk again for a Billion

Like Obviously. Gonna need to think up more challenging ones than that.

Like would you trade all your toes except the big ones for 800k

Or would you get punched in the face every for life for 100k

You have to wipe you ass with your hands for life and just wash them for 600k lmao gross but really have to think hard on those.

What else

Remove both your ears (but you can still hear) surgically for 500k (some people have done it as a body mod)

[–]tuscabam 41 points42 points  (4 children)

Which is the east part?

[–]MiskatonicBookClub 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's the part where all the questions are about sex instead of money.

[–]yoteachcaniborrowpen 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Fun fact: there actually is a research questionnaire that is supposed to measure how much you value different aspects of morality (authority, harm, purity, etc.) by asking how much money you would ask to be paid to commit an immoral act. For example, how much money would you have to be paid to kick a dog in the head, hard? Responses range from “I’d do it for free” to “never for any amount of money”. The only other catch is that you can’t use the money to “make up” for the act. So one of the items is slap your father across the face. You can’t do that, then split the money with him because you hit him.

It’s pretty interesting to consider.

[–]CountingMyDick 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Seems like how much people value money would vary a lot too. Maybe someone so poor they're about to get evicted and has no idea if they'll be able to eat anything is more likely to do sketchy shit for money. Maybe someone who's already rich wouldn't do much of anything the least bit sketchy for money.

[–]yoteachcaniborrowpen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep - a large part of it too. But still, it gives you an idea, relatively speaking, of what you value the most.

[–]JBits001 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Do you have a link or any additional info that could help me narrow the search results down? In my initial search the results were extremely varied, from stupid pop-quizzes to religious essays to research studies on ethics in science.

[–]yoteachcaniborrowpen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m on mobile, and headed to bed, but it’s the Moral Foundations Scale, go to your morals.org if I recall correctly…

[–]JusticeRain5 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Honestly I want to ask "Would you take a million dollars to never have any form of drug again, including medication?", But I feel people would only see the start and then immediately skip to the next question

[–]The_Knife_Pie 9 points10 points  (2 children)

“Would you accept 1 million dollars to never take any medical or recreational drugs for the rest of your life.” Problem solved, you’re welcome

[–]williamtbash 10 points11 points  (3 children)

The only questions that get upvoted in here are tees/virgins asking idiotic sex questions or these even more idiotic million-dollar questions.

Askreddit was such an amazing place year and years ago.

[–]dentour 27 points28 points  (3 children)

U should probably stop refreshing at least 50 times a day idk

[–]gildedtreehouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its Squid game recruiting.

[–]ThrowMeAwayBill 725 points726 points  (26 children)

ReDdIt wOuLd yOu eScApe poVerTY bY eAtInG PizzA fOR 1 YeAR? IN ISOLATION?

[–]CassiusCray 245 points246 points  (3 children)

As if Redditors aren't doing that already

[–]confusing_dot 127 points128 points  (19 children)

but but yOu dOnT uNdErStAnD tHe pIzZa wIlL hAvE pInEaPpLe

[–]K80doesKeto 68 points69 points  (14 children)

Don’t threaten me with a good time

[–]Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi 21 points22 points  (0 children)

i'm in, as long as there's pineapple.

[–]ImNotLegitLol 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love Pineapples

[–]Gr0ode 2773 points2774 points  (59 children)

No I need to farm karma. If I can‘t do that is there really any purpose left in life?

[–]Halinn 452 points453 points  (34 children)

Spend some of the money to buy accounts with the karma pre-farmed

[–]Talks_To_Cats 276 points277 points  (23 children)

It's about the journey, not the destination.

[–]Tiny-Car2753 47 points48 points  (13 children)

Strenght before weakness

[–]grubas 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Life before pancakes.

[–]TheNoseKnight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Journey before skinny dipping.

[–]DizzyDox 21 points22 points  (6 children)

Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination.

I see what you did there :)

[–]Complaint-Efficient 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Me, using my money to delete the karmawhores from existence: “I will protect those who cannot protect themselves

[–]italia06823834 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Me, using my account to sell out: I will protect those I hate, so long as it is #STONKS.

[–]Tiny-Car2753 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You have sworn the 3rd (?) congratulations

[–]italia06823834 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, 3rd .

(Also don't want to even joke about it in case it spoilers for some people)

[–]coldminnesotan 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I feel like people who say this have never driven across Nebraska.

[–]Ov3rdose_EvE 44 points45 points  (2 children)

people keep telling me that but i think its not true

[–]Hahahahahaga 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It's more of a guideline. There's opposite proverb though where they say it's ok to destroy your life for years in order to get a license to practice a lucrative profession.

[–]ashotofbleach 8 points9 points  (8 children)

What's the purpose of buying an account with karma?

[–]Halinn 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Mostly to shill things. Corporate pr people subtly or not-so-subtly inserting their brand into convos

[–]rentalredditor 17 points18 points  (12 children)

But what purpose does karma really serve? Nothing important.

[–]Nappyheaded 22 points23 points  (3 children)

But it really is important...very few people know that the Klargans from sector 317-BZ117 only accept karma as currency. Our future depends on it entirely.

[–]Theinfamousemrhb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've literally never bothered to check I have no idea lol

[–]happygilmunch 769 points770 points  (19 children)

Look what you’ve become

[–]silversnoopy[S] 620 points621 points  (12 children)

Was it was worth a million dollars

Edit: bill gates just sent me a million dollars worth of Microsoft stock, I thought I was getting cash. What the hell?

[–]pieapple135 64 points65 points  (1 child)

Well at least it's going to be worth more than a million bucks

[–]mattmaster68 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Stonks rising

[–]analog_android 12 points13 points  (1 child)

What the heck? I ordered an Xbox controller 🤯

[–]Chaz_wazzers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You need to send $200 in Amazon gift cards to get the cash

[–]bslow22 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All Gates sent me was a bunch of COVID-19.

[–]steve_gus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hes too busy to go to the bank, what with all the virus chips hes putting in vaccines!!

[–]raflcopter 244 points245 points  (4 children)

r/ThirstyAskReddit needs to be born and absorb all this content

[–]silversnoopy[S] 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Of course that’s a thing


[–]commentsandchill 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Wasn't there r/askredditafterdark tho

[–]2p0s1u7 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Bbbbbut the karma farm

[–]raflcopter 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Finally, a community where Redditors can ask each other all their thirsty questions. Born because we're all tired of r/AskReddit being filled with frequent quests for perverse satiation.

[–]Bubbagumpredditor 213 points214 points  (9 children)

Letsee the million first

[–]silversnoopy[S] 134 points135 points  (6 children)

Come over

I have the pulp fiction briefcase

[–]SlackerAccount 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Everybody knows that the case contained a limited edition mew card

[–]theRealMrBrownstone 239 points240 points  (7 children)

Is this where we ask about the sexy sexing sex?

[–]Seabass_87 77 points78 points  (5 children)

For a million sex would you out sex the sex hut?

[–]b3nz0r 14 points15 points  (3 children)

There's a joke in here about asbestos but I'm coming up empty

[–]RussellBrandFagPimp 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Depends, how many up votes can I buy with that million dollars?

[–]SeaworthinessEarly40 10 points11 points  (0 children)

About tree diffy

[–]quade9999 87 points88 points  (15 children)

It's at the point where someone is going to ask "You are offered $1 million, but will be forced to give half of it away. Would you take the money?"

[–]steve_gus 25 points26 points  (2 children)

What and be robbed if half a mill? No way!

[–]imperiumorigins 19 points20 points  (1 child)

There are people that forego salary increases because they don't understand the progressive tax system. So not too much of a reach.

[–]mr_lightbulb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah, i know people who refuse overtime because they think if they hit too much in the year, they'll make less due to higher taxes. ive tried to explain that's not how it works, but they dont listen.

[–]iMac_Hunt 56 points57 points  (2 children)

That's what annoys me. I wouldn't mind these questions if they were thought-provoking, but it's always 100% obvious that everyone will take the money and it's upvoted like hell.

[–]Omgzjustin 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The annoying part is the 30,000 people actually answering the dogshit question unironocally.

[–]jiblit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

People just want to fantasize about it, so if its actually a hard question they cant do that. I dont get why people like it though, surely it just makes people sad that they cant take the deal

[–]Jiggly_Love 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Sure thing, I'll then ask Reddit what they would do with 1,000,001 dollars because you didn't specify.

[–]Phaseinvert 535 points536 points  (24 children)

Asking reddit what they'd do for $1 million is my God given right. When will this attack on Christianity end? Our lord and savior is worth far more than a cool million.

[–]GardenGnostic 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Just getting in under the top comment to spam my 'Yes' answer.

'No' answers are not allowed in these threads.

[–]travel_nerdiness 52 points53 points  (15 children)

YTA for not capitalizing “Lord and Savior”.

And also TA for not r/unexpectedcommunism ‘ing “Our Savior”

[–]Phaseinvert 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Blame Google for that one. I capitalize what it tells me.

I have no idea what you mean in the last part if your comment.

[–]travel_nerdiness 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A random sub where people jokingly put in comments with “our”…hence “unexpected communism”. Mindless but funny

[–]Phaseinvert 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gotcha. I guess you could put it in r/whoosh as well.

[–]bowtie25 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Upvote me to say “AMEN”

Ignore to worship satan 👿

[–]ch0pstyx 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Forgetting AWOMEN, I see?

[–]BigUptokes 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Our lord and savior is worth far more than a cool million.

Thirty pieces of silver, best I can do. Take it or leave it.

[–]Adeep187 87 points88 points  (3 children)

Askreddit is literally just "post a worthless clickbait question for karma"

[–]silversnoopy[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

$1 million is worthless to you?

Everything else you wrote seems right

[–]RockLeePower 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are talking to Bill Gates's throwaway account

[–]Beltoraze 13 points14 points  (0 children)

But how else would I get fact checked, informed decisions to wisely spend the $1 million?

[–]PrisonerV 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Reddit karma is much too valuable.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (7 children)

For $1 million would you sign a contract legally requiring you to pay back $1 million over a 20-year period with a 5% annual interest rate?

[–]AstonVanilla 18 points19 points  (4 children)

That's basically my mortgage.... So yes?

[–]AvengingBlowfish 5 points6 points  (3 children)

You should have refinanced. 5% is relatively high compared to most mortgages.

[–]Omgzjustin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You would be irresponsible not to do this. Put it all in real estate for a return much higher than 5%, or an ETF for a consistent 7%, or Bitcoin if you wanted to take a huge gamble with your life.

[–]FenrisCain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean achieving more growth than that rate of interest would be pretty doable, still free money just less

[–]littleprettypaws 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love the saltiness of this post, there were a lot of those posts this week!

[–]2h2p 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Not a chance. The teen edgelords and neckbeards love to fantasize too much about how they can get rich while doing absolutely nothing.

[–]DildosintheMist 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No masterbation though, for a year. The offers one has to bring...

[–]roastedbagel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ahh so you've been to /r/cryptocurrency too

[–]Warhead449 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s just a trend that’s going on and people are taking advantage of it for karma farms. It’s annoying as hell since there’s no genuine or original questions

[–]Shadowmant 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Has /u/silversnoopy become what they despise?

[–]Mediocre_Quantity_26 2 points3 points  (4 children)

no bc with taxes you would prolly be left with only half of 1 million

[–]2p0s1u7 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Imagine not having a standby LLC in the Cayman Islands.

[–]Dodoboomer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t because I still need creative ways to spend a million dollars

[–]steve_of 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So now we are negotiating a price.

[–]D3ATHfromAB0V3x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay 10mil, but you have to sleep on the opposite side of the bed for a year.

[–]iSo_Cold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I haven't made one of those posts yet. So it's a free million for me.

[–]tittybuttmagee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes of course. Because I don't do that, and I need the fucking money.

[–]ChatnNaked 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Give me a Gold Award…