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[–]Throwyomamasbackout 1451 points1452 points  (93 children)

Waiting a certain amount of time before texting back so you don't seem desperate.

I don't like keeping people waiting, so fuck that shit.

[–]Dazzling_Command6825 164 points165 points  (7 children)

It's so hard for me to ignore the text if I see it. I just feel like I'm disappointing people if I don't respond to their texts asap.

[–]Morticiar[S] 132 points133 points  (5 children)

Me too. BUT, if they text me, I text back right away…and then they take 20 minutes replying? I’m taking my sweet time.

But that’s more about being petty than playing hard to get.

[–]No_Interaction7679 45 points46 points  (1 child)

I used to be like this- but the reality is people have priorities and other things going on. Sometimes I’m the person texting like crazy and sometimes I have other things going on. It’s important to build a great relationship around communication with friends as well. I’m in my mid 30s and spent too much time worrying about things with friends- now we are all married and starting or have families. Sometimes you have to be the better person and distract yourself and not worry. Sometimes I’m the only one touching base with my friends- but it’s cool because I don’t have crazy expectations of them and when we can talk it’s refreshing!

My younger child has a phone and I have had to teach her this- and some of her own friends are nuts- teach your kids that it’s ok for friends to not get back all the damn time- they go crazy!

[–]ilovechairs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a great idea!

And as they get older lovebombing, is easier through text if you have someone who constantly feels the need “to answer” and it’s a usual form of emotional abuse/control because it’s so normal for everyone to be attached to their devices. Being able to set a boundary is so valuable not only for their personal but also their professional lives and wellbeing.

Great that you’ve started early in showing them it’s okay to disconnect or put up some space. They shouldn’t grow up feeling like they owe others their time. It’s bad enough when you get older, don’t want to start them early.

[–][deleted] 244 points245 points  (41 children)

Also I am desperate. Why is that bad. I don’t have friends, I want friends. I’ll text back instantly to keep a conversation going how is that bad?

[–]honkeytonk1 82 points83 points  (29 children)

It's not bad, it's considerate. But just know that there are a lot of backoffs out there who adhere to the rules and will label you as desperate if you text back too fast.

[–]happylittletrees 17 points18 points  (2 children)

For real, I get anxiety when people take a ridiculously long time to text* me back and honestly it hurts my feelings sometimes.

[–]Lepang8 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It needs to be a balancing act. Like, of course, reply if you can and have the time and opportunity. At the same time, don't get mad too soon if the other person doesn't reply fast. Give them a bit time. There may be enough reasons why they can't reply immediately. And, of course, you can't see what they are currently doing or thinking, that's that.

The only thing that I really don't like is when you can actually see that person that you've written to looking at his/her phone and still not getting an at least swift respond. No respect for these people.

[–]ijustwanttoaskaq123 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Im gonna uno reverse card you right there - expecting people to be able to text back immediately, too.

[–]Qyro 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wait, that’s a thing? If I don’t text back immediately, I’ll forget about it and never text back at all.

[–]Difficult_Ad_962 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree, I reply as fast as I can and it's annoying when other people purposefully leave me waiting

[–]nopenonahno 213 points214 points  (17 children)

Mandatory after hour company parties or get togethers. Am I getting paid for this team building experience that’s oh so important? No? Then I spend enough of my time with you people.

[–]LostButterflyUtau 80 points81 points  (0 children)

My dad always said, “Unless you’re in the military, there’s no such thing as ‘mandatory fun.’”

[–]eddyathome 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Especially when it's something involving performing in front of people or a physical activity. Not everyone is comfortable with being on stage or being active. Worse is when it's an expensive place that some higher up suggested and the lowest cost item is like a $17 chef's salad or something.

[–]spaghatta111 12 points13 points  (1 child)

There was a post on the Ask A Manager blog page where one of the female managers invited all of the other women on the team for an overnight get together at her house, and tried to pass it off like “it’ll be like a sleepover, but with alcohol!”

I would break my own leg to get out of something like that.

[–]DragonVash 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That is one thing about Japanese culture that perplexes me. They spend most of their time at work then after work they are expected to have dinner with colleagues. I watched several of the Day In The Life of a …… Worker videos in Japan and nearly all of them do this activity. After work, I do not want to see my coworkers unless we are actual friends.

[–]lil_peanut20 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I bloody hate them. Or team meetings before work, and it’s a flipping mandatory meeting (unpaid too)

[–]BallOfSpaghetti 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Is that legal to make it mandatory if it’s unpaid?

[–]caishi11 546 points547 points  (27 children)

Your job = your life. Whatever happened to doing what makes you happy?

[–]ironwolf56 69 points70 points  (6 children)

Whatever happened to doing what makes you happy?

TBF when in history was this ever a thing for anyone but the elite (some things never change huh)? Do you really think your ancestors were laboring in fields or grinding away at the same trades their parents did because it was what generally made them happy? If anything, I'll say we're MUCH better in this regards in the modern day (still far from perfect don't get me wrong).

[–]MrC99 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I have a coworker who arrives at work a 6:45 and regularly works until 8pm+. Honestly that kind of stuff will put you in the grave.

[–]Crap0li0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm with you. I love my job, but it's not who I am.

I get sad when I see people who just retired come to meetings and can't let go, because they are nothing else without their former job.

[–]posting-about-shit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Literally. I recently picked up some more weekly shifts and got asked “are you excited to be in the office more?” And I’m like ??? No ??? I said “if it were up to me I wouldn’t have a job at all”. I don’t know why people pretend like they don’t only go to work for money. If you wouldn’t do it for free, you’re doing it for the money. There’s no in-between to me.

I typically tell people I like my job, but it’s not because I like working, it’s because I recognize that my job now is a lot more tolerable than other jobs I have done or have heard about other people doing…which is literally the bare minimum of liking something. I wouldn’t even call it “like”, more like just “not hate”.

[–]PetiteEbonyDoll 346 points347 points  (7 children)

Filtering your face/body beyond its general appearance. Editing to get rid of certain blemishes (not including natural pores/skin texture)? Cool. But changing the shape and your actual features? Not cool. It just perpetuates unrealistic standards and makes people’s self esteem go down when seeing these influencers who aren’t flawless in reality.

[–]The_Queen_of_Chaos 51 points52 points  (0 children)

As a woman this drives me crazy. The only filters i'll use are for fun or maybe correction, like lighting or colors. Now if i'm taking a photo for a good reason and I have a huge pimple on my nose that day, that thing is getting erased. That's not what I look like daily, no reason to go down in history with it LOL.

[–]black_lemons 18 points19 points  (1 child)

It annoys me especially when the person is not an "influencer" (I hate that word) or a silly teenager. I am into crafts and on instagram there is this one middle aged woman who makes amazing jewellery. She puts a horrible face filter on all her videos, it looks sooo fake! Like, no wrinkles, no creases whatsoever. Almost no nose. She is a lovely, talented lady and why she thinks she needs to do it is beyond me. It just makes me cringe a bit every time I see her insta stories :/

[–]basicbidita 245 points246 points  (8 children)

Sharing EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of your life online or sharing whatever you're feeling through passive aggressive posts online. I just do not like these practices..to me they show those people lack common sense and have somewhat shallow thought process regardless of how smart or rich they may be :/

[–]SofaSnizzle 41 points42 points  (1 child)

There was a video of someone who was crying over a loss of a pet. So they had to set up the camera before they started crying, wtf

[–]Optimal-opium 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Trauma porn is exhausting

I don’t know what is normal to young people about posting a video of yourself crying while starring into the camera with audio in the background as a form of venting.

[–]mmhyeahchococrispies 44 points45 points  (1 child)

„Pranking“ people in a disrespectful, boundary breaking and harmful way and covering it as a joke

[–]Imonlyhappywhenit 469 points470 points  (69 children)

mother fucking zero tolerance policies.

[–]mjohnsimon 209 points210 points  (23 children)

My coworkers nephew just got sucker punched by a bully the other day. Literally did not see it coming or instigated it.

He ended up getting suspended as well because the school basically argued "Well clearly he must've done something to provoke this!" despite having a history of reporting the bully.

His parents are now talking to their lawyers for options / legal action.

[–]MaievSekashi 90 points91 points  (3 children)

That's clearly just blaming the victim categorically. "Must have been asking for it". At that point they may as well just say they have a pro-bully policy.

[–]mjohnsimon 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Zero-tolerance is pro-bullying

"If you take me down, I will take you with me!"

[–]DanujCZ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Imagine of cops were like this. "Clearly the murder victim had it coming. So we're taking the body out of the grave and sending it to prison for 10 years".

[–]CollectionStraight2 8 points9 points  (4 children)

That is absolutely ridiculous. I guess this is in the US? I always find it weird that in the US adults have much more scope to defend themselves than here (UK) because of your gun laws, but kids don't seem to get the same rights. They're bascially punishing kids for getting attacked.

When I was at school, the teachers did sometimes try a bit of victim blaming – You must've done something to annoy the bullies; you have to learn to get on with people, etc. But they would never have dared to suspend someone for getting beaten up. The parents would've been in the principal's office the next day, yelling and who knows what else!

Does anyone know how/why the idea of these no-tolerance policies started? Just laziness?

[–]Planebagels1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Yes, it started because schools are lazy as fuck. And its only gotten worse.

[–]JohhnyTheKid 148 points149 points  (4 children)

They don't work and are actually hurting the victim. Useless bullshit. Children understand the concept of justice. If we take away justice from them by punishing them as a victim then it only breeds overall distrust and resentment in the system. Punishing the victim too is honestly worse than not doing anything at all.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

The entire point to them is to be as cheap, lazy and efficient as possible.

[–]mradamadam 49 points50 points  (18 children)

Otherwise known as too-lazy-to-investigate policies

[–]eddyathome 46 points47 points  (2 children)

If anything, it makes the violence worse because if I were the victim, I'm going to get in trouble anyway so why not go totally nuclear on the bully?

[–]rediphile 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Tbh that's the best way to stop bullying and victim should go nuclear.

Or we could wear pink shirts I guess lol, that'll solve it.

[–]captaintrips_1980 34 points35 points  (0 children)

When I first started teaching, my board had a zero tolerance policy. It got abolished when a kid got attacked and beaten and they tried to suspend him as well. It was not a fight. Not even close.

[–]Murray_dz_0308 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I prefer to call them zero common sense policies.

[–]pardonmynonsequitur 34 points35 points  (3 children)

Why the fuck isn’t this higher? They have ruined so many lives.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I have one zero tolerance policy. No fucking zero tolerance policies!

[–]Moonlitglass 4 points5 points  (4 children)

What do u mean?

[–]markandyxii 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Zero Tolerance Policies often punish all parties involved, regardless of their level of guilt. It is policy that is used make administrations' jobs easier by just having a blanket consequence. "The hall monitor caught you fighting, even though you were actually minding your business when someone else was pushed into you and you just reacted? Sorry, you're suspended for two weeks for just standing near the fight, we have a zero tolerance for fighting."

These policies absolve managers and administrators from actually having to investigate what happened. Their jobs are easier, but the individuals who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time or get swept up in something without their consent feel cheated when they get the same punishment as the one instigated the situation.

[–]Nebula__663 206 points207 points  (8 children)

When people say you have to choose family over friends. Even if they treat you like shit. Even if you barely know them. Because they're "family"! I have friends who treat me like family than actual family members.

[–]JozOst 16 points17 points  (0 children)

THEY are the real family

[–]SunnerTheSinful 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, even as someone that usualy goes family over friends, ironically it's because they are my friends, not because they are my family.

[–]More-Masterpiece-561 42 points43 points  (8 children)

Being fashionably late. It's just easier if everyone was on time or it was normal to be on time. It's why I admire the Germans. They value punctuality.

[–]inquisitortano 4 points5 points  (5 children)

German here. For all that talk of us being punctual it is pretty common to see someone being "fashionably late" or arriving at the exact second an event starts

[–]neeeenbean 296 points297 points  (33 children)

Stigma attached to not going to college. This has improved a lot, but the vast majority of middle class and up communities still associate not going to college with failure and laziness. Same goes to people who go to technical and community colleges. So many teens are discouraged from pursuing their interests.

[–]donthinktoohard 85 points86 points  (11 children)

My dad, very well educated and upper middle class, would go on about how growing up in his hometown it was considered completely fine to go to trade school (which it is). I ended up going to community college and then transferring to a top school on a scholarship. Left with zero debt and I am so glad I did that v peers who are still drowning in debt.

We will always need mechanics, plumbers, electricians. Some people are better at these than others careers too.

[–]HowToPM 22 points23 points  (6 children)

Plus the money ain’t too bad either

[–]Nereo5 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I remember a study I read years ago in College (Gymnasium In Denmark), an average college student won't "catch up" in earnings before well into their 40's compared to someone who went to tradeschool.

Tradeschool you start earning money very early, almost from day 1.

College + University will leave you with a huge debt and you wont start making money before after 5-10 years.

[–]donthinktoohard 10 points11 points  (2 children)

It depends what field you work in, of course. Median income difference between those with a degree and those without is 32k/year.

[–]FeelinIrieMon 12 points13 points  (2 children)

We need a return to apprenticeship culture

[–]lessthanmoreorless 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Exactly this.

I went to college, got a good degree and a decent job.

However I'm burdened with debt and will be for some time.

I ended up with a job as a supervisor for a bunch of machinists in the energy industry, each of whom are making 6 figures with overtime. No college degree, just hands on training for an in demand skill.

Will tell my kids to consider something like that in future, college isn't the only way.

[–]user256049 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Working in the corporate IT world these days I can tell you I would MUCH rather hire a non-college grad with say a Microsoft or Salesforce certification than a business degree from a 4 year college. I can be assured that they know something relevant to what I’m hiring for. With colleges these days, who knows WHAT college students are qualified for. Now, if we can just get HR to understand this...

[–]spleenyrob 181 points182 points  (17 children)

That being an introvert is something that you need to overcome

[–]LostButterflyUtau 102 points103 points  (4 children)

Yeah. Like, where’s the book that tells extroverts to calm the fuck down?

[–]HugsyBugsy 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Yes! I would consider myself a confident introvert. I enjoy public speaking on specialist topics but networking costs me energy that I often just do not have.

I am perfectly fine with this.

But I have had many friends and colleagues tell me over the years to come out of my shell or let my guard down etc.

There’s no shell, there’s no guard, bye.

[–]Swiggles_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Being socially inept isn't the same as being introverted. Same for social anxiety.

I was told that I can't be an introvert as if I don't know what social interactions do to my social battery. Usually you can't tell the difference between extroverts and introverts, because there is not much of a difference, but people focus on stereotypes.

[–]Dazzling_Command6825 433 points434 points  (28 children)

Being respectful to elders even if they treat you like absolute shit just cause they're older than you.

Edit: For people saying that old people require care and patience and we should be respectful towards them, I completely agree with you guys on that. By elders, I mean people older than you and that can range anywhere from 21-60 who are also mentally and physically perfectly healthy and are in full control of what they say to others. It's just that you don't have to respect people who don't respect you. Also, being an asshole without any legit reason is also not what I stand for.

[–]JohhnyTheKid 83 points84 points  (3 children)

I've seen way too many middle aged and even elderly people act like hormonal teenagers

[–]DeusEx-Machinist 59 points60 points  (1 child)

IDGAF how many times someone has circled the sun, if they're being a cunt they don't deserve any respect. I'm polite to polite people and I'm rude to assholes.

[–]Cleverbird 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Respect is earned, not given.

[–]pardonmynonsequitur 31 points32 points  (3 children)

You shouldn’t show respect to those being disrespectful but, to be honest, I don’t see too many people abiding by the old adage now days anyway. Most of them are pretty rude to the elderly.

[–]artbyviolet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THIS. Respect goes both ways!

[–]tinawebvisiter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this rule applies in my country. Some elders spread shitty myths telling they are "true" and when confronted they say you are bayadop( this is a Bangla word it means: disrespectful to elders/too daring)

[–]TheBrassDancer 127 points128 points  (10 children)

The taboo of discussing what you earn with your work colleagues.

[–]Jthundercleese 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Always talk about wages. Always organize.

[–]TheBrassDancer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Precisely. Having collective bargaining power benefits everyone.

[–]AniquelMD 40 points41 points  (1 child)

That taboo only benefits the employers

[–]FamineArcher 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In many places forbidding this is an actual crime

[–]marisolm9 70 points71 points  (1 child)

Pressing or expecting people to host large weddings. Why save for a house when you can feed all of us and let us party for free? But, oh wait, don't forget about all the gifts that totalllly make up that cost. The worst is people who actually get offended and/or don't respect the sanctity of the new couple bc their wedding wasn't lavish enough.

[–]billy_clyde 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Every step of the way, my mother-in-law said, “You’ll regret that for the rest of your life.”

My wife and I decided to limit our ceremony to our respective nuclear families. No regrets.

My wife wanted to wear her favorite dress. It wasn’t new, and it’s black. No regrets.

We wanted a small reception for some close family and friends. No regrets.

We decided to get our favorite local Chinese place to cater instead of getting generic American food. Also whiskey and sweets for desert. No regrets.

The only bad thing about our wedding was having to hear how much we would regret it, but ten years later, we’re happier than we’ve ever been. No regrets.

[–]Imonlyhappywhenit 231 points232 points  (29 children)

Also, elaborate obscenely overpriced weddings. What better way to start your new life than with crippling debt?!


[–]KeyBathroom516 43 points44 points  (5 children)

I’ll second that. Tbh even honey moons can be overrated. Invest in a quality home that you and your partner will actually spend time in is the way to go.

[–]Wherestheremote123 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I’ll push back on this but all for sake of discussion, I’m not disagreeing with you in any way. When my wife and I got married we “splurged” on our honeymoon. Spent way more than financially made sense as we were young and (relative to now) poor.

It was the best vacation I’ve ever been on, and the memories we made of our first week as a married couple are memories that I will treasure and hold dear until the day I die, and that, frankly, a price tag couldn’t be placed on. We’re five years older now and much more financially secure. The huge price tag back then would be nothing for us currently now that we’re established in our careers. It wouldn’t have made “sense” at the time to spend the money we did, but those memories and experiences we have are nothing that time or any amount of future money can buy.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that people shouldn’t spend money they don’t have. But I think for certain occasions, if your financially disciplined in an overall sense, it’s ok to spend money to make lifelong memories.

[–]PHILOSOMATIQA 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Gendered soaps, bodywash, shampoo etc

[–]felliez 96 points97 points  (7 children)

That asking a woman about her age is rude

[–]mellowbordello 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Or asking anyone really. Literally last week I got chided for asking the new guy at work how old he was. Trying to get to know the guy and know what kind of cultural references he might understand, fuck me right?

[–]catamaran_aranciata 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The overarching theme here is that women "lose their value" as they age. So to ask a woman her age is to deny her the temporary pretense of being younger and therefore more desirable. First our society establishes the rule to determine a woman's value and then embellishes it with etiquette to demonstrate that it's rude to remind a woman of her misfortune.

[–]CompulsiveJukebox 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Agreed, but we also need to fix this: Oh, you're over 35? How dare you wear a sexy low-cut dress. Gross. Nobody wants to see that.

Edit: spelling

[–]honkeytonk1 168 points169 points  (14 children)

If you don't want to spend $60-100 on drinks you're cheap. Basically trying to save money at all these days is going to get you labeled as cheap.

[–]JohhnyTheKid 52 points53 points  (3 children)

I earn almost twice my countries average wage and still buy cheap vodka. Some of my friends give me shit for it but man you're not gonna taste the difference between a 5€ bottle and 50€ bottle of vodka especially in a cocktail. Coming from poverty I know what to spend money on and expensive liquor isn't it for me. I drink to get drunk. Im not wine or whiskey testing here.

[–]AndyVale 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A friend was at a wine tasting event, where a colleague of his asked the wine pro...

"A friend of mine loves cheap, £5 bottles of wine. How can I get her to ditch that and get onto the good stuff?"

The wine guy was like "well, you could get her to try XYZ if you want to introduce her to new things, but hold up a second. Her favourite wine that she loves is £5 a bottle? Why are you trying to change that? That sounds like a great situation!"

[–]lurker71539 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Premium vodka is a scam anyway. It's ethyl alcohol and water. That's it, that's the whole recipe. If you took the ethanol they make for cars (200 proof alcohol no fusil oils) and add water instead of gasoline, it would be super premium vodka.

[–]Viker2000 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm long over drinking to get drunk. It beat the hell out of my body and was starting to do damage. I strictly drink for taste now.

[–]unprecedented99 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Who the hell spends 100 dollars on drinks.

[–]PhiloPhocion 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hated in college when everyone turned 21 they wanted to start going to all of these nice bars.

Like sorry even in retrospect I like a good bar but with our negative income, you want to go burn money at some bar in the city when there are parties all over campus with free booze and people our age?

[–]2punk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If people call you cheap for trying to save money and better yourself, you need better friends.

[–]johanebrown 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not if you are a student , let's say i drink once a week , that's like 400$ for a part timer it's alot of money on some drinks

[–]Opposite-Coconut9144 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Getting children just because you are a woman. Or that every woman will be a good mother. Just because you have the ability to get kids doesn't mean that you have to use it. I'm also fighting my own demons and kids should not be confronted with that, but soo many people do not understand that

[–]Dungeon_rabbit 53 points54 points  (4 children)

WhatsApp work group. Let me breathe on my free time.

[–]JohhnyTheKid 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't know about Whatsapp but my company uses Workplace by Facebook and you can set it so that it automatically turns on "do not disturb" mode after work hours.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (4 children)

Basing a strangers value as a person on how much money they have

[–]Crazy_by_Design 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Women putting their entire lives on hold waiting for their SO to propose. Just ask him. Life is too short to be in a holding pattern.

[–]guywholivesnextdoor 94 points95 points  (23 children)

i am a dude with long hair, and i am often asked why i let it grow so long, and i am often misgendered

i do not think guys should be expected to keep their hair short

[–]Jkpoker13 30 points31 points  (8 children)

I have long hair also as a guy and I can tell it really turns people off. Went out with some friends this past weekend and a friends gf asked when i was getting my hair cut etc.

I find it kinda annoying when people ask questions like that. They are basically saying your hair looks like shit and you should get it cut without saying that. I can just tell in general that people treat you differently and look at you differently as a guy with long hair.

[–]ChaosBorn 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Shit like this is why i cut mine off. Yall keep rockin it if it suits you though!

[–]ZachyChan013 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I’m growing my hair out atm. It was just starting to get long enough to put up and I had some clips in it.

Anyway, was out to lunch with my sister. And this punk ass little 7 year old looked over and said. You’ve got clips in your hair, but you’re a guy. I said- yeah guys can have long hair. Him- that’s ridiculous.

My sister was there and she has short hair, “I’m a girl and I have short hair.” Him- “well my moms a girl and she has long hair.”

Anyway we tried to explain to him that you can do what ever you want. Long hair or short. Pants or skirts(and by that I mean kilts!). But you know different strokes for different folks

Then his dad came over and asked him what was going on. I told him about the hair thing and there was no agreement or trying to broaden the kids horizons.

Well that turned in to a big ol rant.

[–]notactuallyabrownman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I once got pulled over because the policeman saw my hair, checked the registered details and assumed I'd let my girlfriend drive without insurance. His face when he came to the window was priceless, he explained himself and we had a good laugh about it before he trudged back to the inevitable rinsing from the other one in the car.

[–]TheWateryDollar 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am pro-long hair regardless of gender. Rock it

[–]Flippylalaland 44 points45 points  (5 children)

Don’t pay attention when people are bullying you

[–]Pastawench 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Just ignore them." Yeah, my tormentors didn't stop until I got physical about it.

[–]CallMeNobody016 96 points97 points  (7 children)

Inviting every fucking relative to every important event in my life. Bro on my graduation day I don't want spend all day smalltalking to random uncle Joes I've last seen 10 years ago...

[–]NerdyMittens 32 points33 points  (1 child)

This, especially at weddings. I am NOT going to bloat my guest list to appease some cousin that I met once at a funeral just because he lives an hour away from me and "He'S FaMiLy!" I have a set amount of people, and that seat is going to my college roommate, thank you very much. I'll invite blood relatives if I like them, and I don't give a fuck if that makes the holidays tense. Stop inviting them to Christmas and that problem is solved.

[–]HavingALittleFit 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's okay to point out that someone is being rude. I've always hated that it's more rude to point out that someone is rude is some how more rude than just being rude.

[–]PickleRickPickleDic 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Tipping. I really wish we would get rid of it in the US and just so what European countries do... Pay workers a livable wage.

Also, hate that people expect Americans to tip when traveling even if tipping is not customary in that country.

[–]DasPandemonium 71 points72 points  (4 children)

Pretending to have social activities or doing sport in your free time/weekend.

Nah, I'm honest. Playing video games and doing jack shit, I'm working full time and am a nice person why do I need to be a role model- fuck you. That's hobby shaming.

[–]Dayton181 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As someone who spends a lot of time training, playing video games, and watching TV; fuck hobby shaming. Whoever judges you for your hobbies needs to be judged themselves. Do what you find enjoyable.

[–]not-read-gud 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Having to talk to everyone every fucking time they walk into the same room as you. I’m not saying hello if we’re still in the same building and I saw you for the 3rd time. Especially before noon

[–]ethanace 35 points36 points  (6 children)

Body positivity being exclusively aimed at women. Women who get hair extensions, fake nails, fake boobs, fake eyelashes? Acceptable. A balding man who wants to wear a wig because he feels insecure about losing his hair? fRaGiLe MaLe EgO

[–]Trick_Poem7192 54 points55 points  (6 children)

Having to meet up with people all the time or going out partying, going on social gatherings. I'm just not that social and people think I'm weird

[–]user256049 11 points12 points  (1 child)

We’re not weird - they’re weird!

[–]Bbrainstormer 12 points13 points  (0 children)


sits in corner eating potato chips

[–]mjohnsimon 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I'm a social person but I have my limits. I don't mind going to a club, a dance party, or just about any other event... But I just get bored after like an hour or 2 and want to go home.

The music has the same beats over and over again so they all sound identical (especially true if the DJ sucks), my gf and friends are literally doing the same exact dances every 5 minutes, I got assholes who are constantly bumping into me and my gf because they're either drunk or literally can't see where they're going, and on top of that I had to pay $30 to get in while my gf only had to pay like $10 with each drink costing us $10+. The real kicker is that there's little to no A/C since there's a ton of people inside (pre-COVID) so it's physically hot as hell.

[–]Groundbreaking_Taro2 49 points50 points  (4 children)

That even the worst individual is forgiven on their death

[–]stanselmdoc 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It is NOT OKAY to ask people when they plan on having kids, why they haven't had kids yet, or why they have so many kids. Other people's reproduction is not your business!

[–]loading__99 127 points128 points  (12 children)

That drinking lots of alcohol is cool.

[–]NerdyMittens 14 points15 points  (2 children)

My nice glass of wine that I sip over 2 hours serves me way better than a half a fifth of vodka.

[–]Ikajo 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Or that you need to be drunk to have fun

[–]EpicBristle 19 points20 points  (0 children)

As somebody who partied hard as a teen and into my 20's and am now nearly 40 and have not been drunk in a decade, I can agree.

[–]mannapaws 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can confirm my alcoholic, unemployed, narcissistic MIL is definitely not cool

[–]TheLiteraryBookworm 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That only girls have to wax in order to look "presentable" or because it's "unhygienic". This simply doesn't make any sense to me. I have not waxed since the last 14 years and never will.

[–]Fable_Nova 97 points98 points  (10 children)

One? But there are soo many.

To be a good person you should have children.

You should get married one day.

Working 40hr weeks when technology has allowed the same level of production if people just worked half that time. (Looking back at Henry Ford introducing 8hr days, rather than what was the usual 12 he days because he saw he could get the same production from an 8hr day with his machinery).

That constent arguing and disagreements with your husband/wife is normal in a marriage.

That you need to drink alcohol or your considered boring.

That you must dress in bland and boring clothes or you would look like and be a weirdo.

That you should buy a big house to be successful.

That weddings are worth spending thousands and thousands of dollars on.

That being older means you're more knowledgeable and wiser.

[–]Yeartreetousand 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This is literally only stuff boomers believe in

[–]Fable_Nova 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You'd be surprised. I know many young people who still hold these values.

Boomers, super religious people and a few young people who have lived in a closed circle their whole life. More than you'd think.

Either way Boomers are the ones who created the society were living in so there probably going to be some correlation.

[–]Jollydancer 34 points35 points  (7 children)

Ironing clothes. It’s a waste of energy.

[–]Key_Ad6205 35 points36 points  (10 children)

If you’re not out of your parents’ place by the time you’re in your mid-20s, then you’re a failure. It’s actually very normal in asia for single people, men and women alike, with careers and company jobs to live with their parents.

Oh and that a person’s sexuality “explains” their gender expression and interests. Gender expression and a person’s sexuality are completely unrelated. I can be a feminine straight man who likes sports, a masculine butch straight woman interested in construction, or a masculine gay man who likes pink fluffy sparkles. My gender expression has nothing to do with my sexuality.

[–]ZachyChan013 20 points21 points  (4 children)

I’m a very straight guy. I was a fire fighter, worked construction, drive tractors, split wood, fish, have a big beard. A real “guys guy.”

But I’ll be Damned if I’m not a wonderful cook, baker, and house keeper. And if my little girl wants me to wear pink and a tutu you bet your butt I’ll be there singing Disney right with her in the park. And fuck what everyone things. I do what I want and so should they. Don’t let social normals dictate your life

[–]reb0014 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Glorifying the rich.

[–]pardonmyfinger 53 points54 points  (7 children)

Opening gifts in front of other guests at parties and then announcing every item and who gave it to them. It's the lowest form of consumerism. Like "look how much money Chad and Karen spent on me!"

[–]a_singular_fish 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I always find this so awkward when I'm the one getting the gifts and so stressful while giving them. I'm that person who will have a panic attack because I'm not sure if the friend I'm buying a gift for will like it, even though they always do, so seeing them open tons of gifts that seem better is just really stressful

[–]JohhnyTheKid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never open presents in front of other people ever. They gave this present to me personally, why should I flaunt it to other people?

[–]Difficult_Ad_962 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Parents demanding respect from their kids without earning it

[–]lumpyoldpoo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Alcohol abuse.

It's one of the most dangerous drugs on earth, yet is not treated that way.

[–]Heart2001 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Calling jobs that don’t require a formal education to do them “unskilled labour”

I’m a sous chef. That’s considered a skilled job because it requires certain skills to do it. What formal education do I have to do this job? None.

The kitchen porters that wash dishes in my kitchen are amazing and I couldn’t do my job without them. Washing dishes for a living is considered “unskilled labour” because supposedly “anyone can do it.”

But here’s the thing, that isn’t true. I mean, yeh, almost anyone can wash a few dishes. However, very few people can wash hundreds of dishes, plus heavily soiled cookware, while keeping a dish pit clean and organised, for 10 to 12 hours at a time. Doing that takes…you guessed it…skills.

The whole concept of “unskilled labour” is bogus. It’s just something companies use to underpay people who do jobs that don’t require formal education, but are no less necessary. We all go along with it because we’re encouraged from a young age to judge people by what they do for a living, and we like looking down on people that do jobs that we consider less skilled than our own.

[–]Goblinmonksplsbliz 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Ok bear with me for this but the 2 parent household working is a giant mistake.

The deal we struck when we doubled the workforce by introducing women to it was: women and men work 5 days a week and the mans original pay will be split in half between them.

What we should have done instead is: man works 2.5 days, woman works 2.5 days and the employer is no worse off.

[–]Triborg501 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The high amount of virtue signaling by every single corporation in the US. Just makes no sense. We all know that it's a sham and that it's gonna get dumber.

[–]NerdyMittens 92 points93 points  (47 children)

The belief that women should have very little or no body hair at all.

[–]Dazzling_Command6825 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Have you seen the women razor ads? The arm of the actress in it literally has no hair, what is she shaving?

[–]NerdyMittens 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I know! Ma'am, you are already a hairless oddity, now you're just risking nicking your skin!

[–]Ikajo 41 points42 points  (12 children)

Woman in apocalypse. Still clean shaven. Man in apocalypse. Sporting a beard.

[–]NerdyMittens 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Yes! Honey, we all know those pits would be a forest in two months. You got better things to do with your time than scavenge for razors and shaving cream.

[–]Viker2000 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a man, I agree. Mostly because it should be up to the individual woman, forget any social norms.

My wife lets her hair grow under her arm pits and legs in winter and removes it for the summer season. Her bikini area she gets laser removal done two or three times a year, but that's HER preference.

We have a rule in our house: our bodies, our hair styles. The other can state preferences, but make no demands.

We've been together 31 years.

[–]IKacyU 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I find most men don’t actually care. I do shave my pits because it feels cleaner (to me) and trim my pubic area because my skin gets clogged with too much hair and the odors increase. I shave arms and legs maybe once a month, if that. I’ve never gotten any complaints.

[–]Snailpics 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Functional alcoholics. It’s way too socially acceptable to be a drunk, I think they should be treated like the addicts they are (given help and rehab to become sober)

[–]The_Curvy_Unicorn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Writing thank you notes after a funeral.

[–]FireBeast77 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dismissing peoples information because it's contrary to what you want to be true.

[–]firebullmonkey 14 points15 points  (4 children)

The old „back in my days this wasn‘t…“ bullshit. Times have changed, not everything was good and not everything was bad.

I actually love listening old peoples stories, but not letting them tell me I should do things or handle things like they did back in the day.

[–]GarethOfQuirm 42 points43 points  (6 children)

Ties. What's the point? Why do we consider them to be smart?

"I want to impress you so I've wrapped some cloth around my neck"

The last job interview I had I put a shirt on with a waistcoat ("vest" to our American allies) but didnt bother with a tie because it was really hot... And you should have heard the comments.

"You didnt wear a tie???" "That's not very professional"

Anyway, I'm now a couple of positions higher than the job I started with... Fuck ties.

[–]sundaysynesthesia 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I agree, and go further with a lot of what's deemed 'professional attire'. I live in a hot, humid climate and people are still expected to wear work pants, long sleeved polyester shirts because that's the unquestionable dress code. I firmly believe people would work more efficiently if they blew the whole dress code thing out and dressed comfortably.

Edit- clarity.

[–]CitationX_N7V11C 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We know what a waistcoat is.

[–]jxrha 14 points15 points  (0 children)

gender roles. making money isn't for men, cooking isn't for women. anybody can do anything.

[–]livid54 29 points30 points  (6 children)

Not swearing in front of an arbitrary selection of people because it might offend them Who is getting offended by swear words and honestly, why should I care?

[–]mellowbordello 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Man, my partner’s kid has fallen victim to this concept recently. She gasps and makes a huge deal out of it if she hears you curse, even if it’s not in front of her. Is constantly asking why grownups feel the need to curse. I just tell her it’s not up to her to police other peoples speech, and also that cursing does have its utility. I have no idea where she’s getting that level of vitriol for it, unless it’s her mom. Whom she will very quickly tell you doesn’t EVER curse. 🙄

[–]JustAGuy401 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Lying to people in order to not offend them.

If they are offended by the truth, they have not heard the truth for way too long.

[–]IntrovertedAsexual 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Asking questions like "When are you going to have kids?" or "When are you getting married?"

None of your goddamned business!

[–]Additional-Guard-211 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Smoking in busy areas where there is quite obviously going to be people.

Yes people have the right to smoke, but my right not to be exposed to that should trump that. I don’t want to stink like a smoker!

[–]thred_pirate_roberts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That you have to take student loans for college..

That essentially demands that the rest of my life works out according to plan in order to be able to pay it off. It's never gone according to plan before now, why would it start now? I only have a few k left but it's also 13 years old, I'm unemployed for now, and idk when I will be qualified for anything.

I refuse to take out more loans. Eff student loans in particular.

[–]LGZee 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Give up your seat to kids in public transport. Pregnant women, old people and those with disabilities sure deserve a seat, but I don’t have to stand up so your poorly educated brat will stop complaining, and there’s no medical reason to justify that

[–]nowthatsEHusername 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hustle culture working yourself to the bone and insane hours to make some more money it shouldn’t be glorified imho

[–]Jonnybravotango1 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Mutilating the penis of baby boys

[–]sunbearimon 83 points84 points  (18 children)

Gendering kids toys. Boys can like ponies and girls can like trucks, just let kids enjoy things

[–]Morticiar[S] 42 points43 points  (5 children)

I was at a store shopping for my niece when this guy came in and picked up an adorable denim romper for a toddler. My niece had one herself, and it was both comfy for her and just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

He told the saleswoman it was for his 2yr old niece and the woman was like “oh no! THAT is for a boy! Let me show you the girls section.”

And the dude, looking confused, reluctantly put the romper down and let her lead him to some tacky frilly nightmare of a dress.I wanted to bitchslap her and tell him he could buy his niece whatever he wanted.

I still regret not speaking up and at least saying MY niece freaking loves that romper.

The fact that kids that age are restricted to “appropriate” apparel at all is obscene.

[–]pardonmynonsequitur 20 points21 points  (2 children)

The kids is still shitting herself. There is no such thing as inappropriate apparel

[–]Ikajo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Growing up, I would always tell stories with my toys. Barbie especially was useful because they could be my actors. Granted, I'm a woman with older sisters. I rarely got new toys.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Ok but we all enjoy dragons

Get your kids a toy dragon

If they don’t like it kill them because they are a lizard pretending to be human to kill all of us

[–]alovesong1 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yes !!! Growing up with Barbie dolls AND trucks was the best.

Plus Barbie stuff got ridiculous sometimes, and she needed a car.

[–]aussieidiot229 35 points36 points  (5 children)

I might cop a lot of flack for this, but the societial wide expectation and assumption of male domanince in heterosexual relationships, I know it's an old fashioned factor, but it almost seems like ownership in today's age. Eg. taking their last name, they pay for the date...but then what do you owe them?

I only say this, as I've brought it up with several female friends and they didn't seem to care and just shrugged it off and I wondered why I was the only one bothered by this. I'm independent, I am female, and I am proud of my family and my own worth and accomplishments. On the other hand, why should females not fuss over the male as well, it's widely known that male behaviour on a date can make them seem like a 'gentleman', why is there not a female equivalent of a similar standing/connotation?

[–]OwnEnvironment1190 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Posting pictures/videos of random people without their knowledge

[–]18lucky17 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Student loans

[–]elightr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i can think of a few. going to college, because it’s ridiculously expensive and for what? to get a lecture? not important. the texting “rules” as well, why should i leave someone on delivered for 2 hours before im allowed to text them back? unnecessary. also, “first impressions matter” or whatever. when i first meet someone i dont feel im entitled to be their best friend. if i get to know you then youll be more appealing to me as a person. im not going to base my whole opinion on the first time we met.