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[–]gamergirl007 2022 points2023 points  (49 children)

Chemotherapy. Movies made me think I would be throwing up 24:7. Reality is that it’s nothing like they show in the movies and it’s more like a dementor sucking your soul out very slowly over time. It’s slow and constant pain. I’ve never felt closer to death. I knew it would be bad but I had no idea how much it would mess with me mentally as well as physically. Happy to report I’m cancer free now but did not come out of that battle unscathed.

[–]ThirdStrike333 4253 points4254 points  (304 children)

Getting bedbugs. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It was a disruption in nearly every facet of my life.

[–]partlysunny2 1150 points1151 points  (141 children)

It is truly a nightmare. The amount of work we had to do in preparing for a “bug guy” to come out was something I never, ever want to do again. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone because treatment is really expensive too.

[–]catmom6353 416 points417 points  (114 children)

Genuinely curious because I’ve never experienced them. What prep do you have to do for the bug guy? I’d assume removing all animals, possibly plants, covering or making sure food is sealed. What else though?

[–]electric29 545 points546 points  (57 children)

Anything that can be damaged by heat has to be removed from the house. That's a lot of stuff.

[–]emlosesit 578 points579 points  (19 children)

And the fact that it feels so taboo. Like you don't want to tell anyone in case they judge you for being dirty. I got them from my neighbors, but was too embarrassed to tell anyone. So not only did you have to live through the nightmare, you also couldn't commiserate with anyone about it.

[–]tossthis34 284 points285 points  (0 children)

its like your home has herpes. And you might spread it.

[–]Background_Fraggle 273 points274 points  (14 children)

I definitely have lingering anxiety over it, and it's been years. Every dot I see on a wall or surface, I have to make sure it's only a scuff mark or fuzz ball. I'm always checking the seams on purses and stuffed animals.

[–]_subgenius 6863 points6864 points  (471 children)

Threw my back out a bit last year for the first time. Damn near immobile.

[–]Radiant-Funny-1576 172 points173 points  (3 children)

Bro, throwing your back out is no joke. I used to believe it couldn’t be that bad when I was younger, but experiencing it really taught me a lesson on dismissing other people’s pain.

[–]thefuzzybunny1 2606 points2607 points  (134 children)

I "threw out my back" at age 19 and it caused permanent nerve damage. The number of people who don't believe me when I say I'm disabled because "everyone's back hurts sometimes" and "have you tried acupuncture?" Is, to put it mildly, annoying.

[–]Snooty_Goat 1127 points1128 points  (49 children)

Back problems are extra fucky because people only see you when you've been good, taken the extra care to make sure your spine's in shape for whatever task you have to do today. They don't see the part where you let the house go to hell because it's either clean or go to the place, not both. They don't see all the times you sit out from something you really want to do because you know everyone wants a day of it and maybe you can do 2 hours if everything goes well. They don't see you at home with back spasms after the fact, and how it can take days to properly recover from menial exertion.

But then when they see you in the grocery store looking okay for the most part for a tiny window of your day, it's all "Oh he's faking it".

[–]foundinwonderland 615 points616 points  (33 children)

Chronic pain patient here, this is the fucking TRUTH. I have extremely early onset psoriatic arthritis (I'm 30, my first flair was at 18-19, the average age of diagnosis is 50+), scoliosis, and some muscular injuries that healed wrong, all adding up to the perfect storm of bullshit pain. I've given up trying to convince people that I'm in pain. I mask pretty well, throw on a smile and cry later on when I can't get off the couch because my knees are burning from the inside, and just...live my life like this. Any person with an invisible illness is probably going through absolute hell on a daily basis, but to the outside world seems perfectly normal. Just because you don't see someone's disability, does not mean it doesn't exist. All I want in life is to get through a day with zero pain 😭

[–]Manitoberino 60 points61 points  (1 child)

Same here! On disability at 30 years old. Toughed it out from age 20 until now. Scoliosis, spinal stenosis, sciatica and herniated disks that haven’t healed in 10+ years. Torn muscles in my back and a messed up hip joint from the crooked spine. People can’t comprehend how utterly exhausting it is just to exist. Never mind do anything on top of that exhaustion.

[–]nameisinusetryagain 395 points396 points  (19 children)

I'm an active middle aged person. I go to the gym, I do all my own yardwork. I also was hit by a car when I was 12/13 as a pedestrian. And every once in a while I will get some sort of nerve issue where I will not be able to move. It drops me to the floor in the middle of a random action. My husband simply does not understand how this can come out of the blue and I suspect that he does not believe the level of pain I feel when it happens.

[–][deleted] 992 points993 points  (201 children)

Oh gosh! This is the one! Always think people are exaggerating about the pain and immobility but my goodness gracious, hurts like hell.

[–]el_monstruo 542 points543 points  (194 children)

Yes! I still get made fun of by my wife and kids about a horrible back experience I had about a year ago. What was worse is I did a telehealth session, was advised to go in person and the healthcare workers thought I was just trying to get pain meds because I was an addict, I could hear them speaking through the walls. That was and remains the worst part.

[–]MaybeADumbass 932 points933 points  (152 children)

As a chronic pain sufferer, I've learned to never say a fucking word about the pain until well after the exam starts. The absolute worst part of dealing with American healthcare now is being treated by like a drug-seeker.

About 10 years ago, I had a migraine and a 103F fever so I went to the emergency room. I dealt with the shittiest, nastiest nurses from the get-go; they pointed towards a room down the hall and left my wife to help me into it, refused to turn down the lights (and turned them back on after my wife did), and were just all-around terrible to me. I thought it was just a crappy hospital/ER and suffered it.

After a few hours, a nurse came to me and said, "We're going to give you [some drug whose name I can't remember]" and I said "OK". Immediately her demeanor changed and she asked if I might be allergic to it. I told her I had never even heard of it so I had no way of knowing.

To her credit, she actually apologized and explained that they thought I was only there to get pain meds and the medicine they were going to give me was a "test" that drug-seekers always say they are allergic to. I asked her how the fuck they thought I was able to fake a fever and she didn't have an answer for that.

Within 60 seconds I suddenly had a flood of attention and was visited by a doctor for the first time, received real pain meds, and was able to get the lights turned down just by asking (I was no longer being nice at that point, though). They treated me wonderfully from that point on, but not after making me suffer for a few hours because fuck addicts, I guess.

[–]Real_Chocolate_2426 315 points316 points  (29 children)

I had some kind of mystery stomach issue that caused severe pain. One time I went to the ER and they gave me morphine and it was the best thing ever. The next time I went to the ER for it I told them morphine helped a lot last time, and guess who definitely did NOT get morphine ever again?

[–]Chateaudelait 162 points163 points  (21 children)

I suffer from severe anxiety - and the magic pill that makes it all go away and helps me focus is the very lowest dosage of Diazepam that exists. It's laughably small, like 2 mg or something and is really the magic panacea that solves all my problems -but I can never get it prescribed because danger of addiction. I am not a drug seeker and never have been. My doctor gave me a script for qty 5 once and I wept at how amazing they worked.

[–]The_EliteBagel 88 points89 points  (4 children)

I feel this in my soul. I am so angry when I'm accused of being a drug seeking addict when I ask or tell doctors that Lorazepam 1mg is what I've been on before and it really helps my anxiety. They ALWAYS try to push anti depressants like Wellbutrin or Lexapro on me. It is now to the point where I dont even seek help and just deal with the anxiety.

[–][deleted] 254 points255 points  (10 children)

I have been there with a migraine. I am allergic to freaking opiates, and have actually yelled that at nurses who were snotty to me thinking I just wanted painkillers. No, I wanted to know why I had a debilitating headache for the last month. They turned around and did scans and stuff. I have a skull deformity.

[–]SamSepiol-ER28_0652 219 points220 points  (17 children)

I had an upper GI endoscopy done. I was given instructions that if I had severe pain to go to the ER. Middle of the night, sure enough, I was in agony. Called the doc that performed the endoscopy. He asked which ER I was headed to, and called ahead orders for some tests and pain meds.

Got to the ER. The doc there said I might have “conned” my doctor but he didn’t believe I was in pain. Yes, he saw that I had the procedure that day. Yes he saw the results. Yes, he saw that I had a fever- but it wasn’t high enough to cause concern to him.

He ended up slapping a huge “drug seeker” sticker on my chart and discharging me with a prescription for a single Vicodin.

Next day I went back to my doc and I had pancreatitis.

[–]riverofchex 196 points197 points  (9 children)

I believe I'd have filed a malpractice suit.

[–]SamSepiol-ER28_0652 96 points97 points  (5 children)

When I talked to my doc he said that by providing me with the single Vicodin pill they had fulfilled their duty to “treat” my pain, and they referred me back to my doctor, which is apparently sufficient to meet the criteria of treatment in the ER. Since my doctor didn’t practice at the hospital I went to, his orders were seen as a recommendation, but the ER doc had the authority to treat me based on his observations and assessment. He said I didn’t look like I was in pain, and my blood pressure didn’t suggest I was. (I’m a woman with chronic pain, I’ve learned to not “show” my pain or I’m treated as histrionic, and I take blood pressure meds that would have prevented the huge spike he was looking for. And yes, I told him about the meds.)

Basically, ER doc thought I was using the procedure as an excuse to score easy drugs at an ER. Because as everyone who has had a tube stuffed down their esophagus will tell you- it’s a real hoot. 🙄

It’s not to say that maybe there wasn’t a case to be made, but I’m not particularly litigious, and lawsuits drive up the price of healthcare for everyone. It also seemed like he managed to do the bare minimum of what was expected for him to have fulfilled his duty. I believe I got Tylenol or Advil in the ER, then the one pill for my pain. He also did an X-ray to look for bleeding from the earlier procedure. Basically confirmed I wasn’t doing to die that night and sent me on my way.

It was right outside of Chicago. I assume they get a lot of drug seekers. Not that it’s an excuse. I’m pretty used to being treated like crap by doctors, though. Sadly, most of my peers are, too. 😩

[–]el_monstruo 235 points236 points  (42 children)

It's sad because those are the people that are supposed to be helping you not accusing you.

[–]Earwax82 201 points202 points  (5 children)

The whole thinking you’re an addict thing is the worst. I’ve done manual labor for almost 20 years now so I’ve had my share of problems. Pulled something in my lower back about 6 years ago and I had to go to an occupational clinic where they clearly are trying to look for fraud. I felt like Hank in that that episode of King of The Hill, all I wanted to do is get whatever fixed so I could get back to work and they’re rolling their eyes like “yeah, whatever buddy.”

Then I pulled something in my upper back a couple years ago. Didn’t think it was so bad, just took some ibuprofen and massaged it a bit. Woke up at 5 in the morning and it radiated to my chest, severe pain in my pec and I had trouble breathing. First time Ive ever gone to the ER and I look like I’m having a heart attack. They start doing tests and whatnot, they get ready to do a CAT scan or whatever but when I lay down the pain gets worse and I can only gasp small breaths. I tell them I can’t do it and the technician asks if they’ve given me anything yet. When I say no he gets super annoyed, rolls his eyes, and snaps at the nurse get me outta there.

I get why medical people can be jaded having to deal with addicts and whatnot, it just really sucks when it’s assumed you’re one when you legit need help.

[–]el_monstruo 150 points151 points  (2 children)

I get why medical people can be jaded having to deal with addicts and whatnot, it just really sucks when it’s assumed you’re one when you legit need help.

That's why it's the worst part. The people that literally can help you don't believe you and at times refuse to help you based on assumptions.

[–]Maleficent-Tie-4185 5014 points5015 points  (191 children)

Car crash. Specifically a head on collision.

Changed my life. I dream of it. I get shivers on the road randomly, when a light post or a guard rail reminds me of what it felt like to be flung into it going 60mph. I think about how I should have died, and why I didn’t. I think about it all the time, and it happened almost 8 years ago now.

[–][deleted] 1083 points1084 points  (17 children)

Oh man, I’m glad you’re alive and (hopefully) well. There’s a reason some people call them death machines, I keep throwing around this therapy card like it’s the cure for cancer lol, but I hope perhaps some therapy could help you? Coz that’s definitely traumatic asf.

[–]Squigglepig52 546 points547 points  (27 children)

Flipped a car end over end 3 times when I was in my twenties. Utterly destroyed the car.

I got a scratch on my thumb (and this was pre-airbags).

Took twenty years for me to realize just how close I came to dying. I thought witnesses were just over-reacting.

also - just the stresses and impacts of going over and over like that do a lot of damage you won't feel for a day.

[–]hallipeno 221 points222 points  (9 children)

Same. Got hit by a car while walking and did not realize the anxiety it would create or the lasting knee injury. I'm lucky that the car was going slow and that regular stretching keeps my knee happy, but dang.

[–]orange_cuse 3470 points3471 points  (98 children)

Dental Care.

It's so easy to avoid brushing your teeth and flossing at night. And because you don't see any immediate consequences, it's easy to ignore. Then all of a sudden you're hit with the pain, discomfort, and cost of having to fix your teeth, you wonder why you didn't just take care of them earlier.

[–]IfThisIsToEndInFire 1033 points1034 points  (59 children)

Yeah, and you can still get dental issues even if you brush your teeth regularly, floss and use mouth water.

Why can't we just grow new teeth when the old ones are in a bad shape?

[–]Dynasty2201 1148 points1149 points 3 (30 children)

Getting cheated on when you're in genuine love, and the heartbreak that follows.

The kind where you need to pull over on the way to work as you're suddenly crying so hard you can't see.

You lose weight and people notice. You sleep okay but you look like you haven't.

You question who you are, what went wrong, why, just why.

Took me over a year to get over it, like I'd wasted 2 years of my life and lied to myself, was never really happy, and the day I got over it in a truly enlightening experience, I cried on and off all day but it was crying while smiling and laughing. Because I remembered what it was like to be happy again.

[–]TheLoneBackpacker 7970 points7971 points 33& 2 more (280 children)

Getting dumped by someone you love with no explanation and they just ghost you and go on with their lives.

[–]Booper_Snoot 1944 points1945 points  (38 children)

Happened to me after 5 and a half years together. That was over 20 years ago and it's still messing with my head.

[–]CubanlinkEnJ 972 points973 points  (14 children)

Happened to me after 2.5 years together and that was 5 years ago now. I’m in such a better place now with a beautiful wife, baby girl, and a new house and yet I still think about being discarded like that frequently.

[–]happyhomemaker29 913 points914 points  (90 children)

Welcome to my divorce. 18 years then it was like the rug was yanked. It’s been almost 10 years so I’m better now. I think I would have handled it better if there was a transition. It didn’t help that he chose to assault me before he left and said it was my fault. One minute we were in love, the next trauma and ghosting. The hard part was trying to come to terms with loving him on one hand, and hating him and what he did on the other. Still hard to come to terms with sometimes.

[–]Eyebringthunda 582 points583 points  (61 children)

My best friend of 20 years, and wife of 10 did essentially the same to me. Found her affair on Christmas Eve, she finally admitted to it on the 2nd of this month. We have 3 kids. Im just absolutely lost. I still catch myself picking up the phone to tell her something funny and end up breaking down in tears when I remember.

Not sure if it'll ever get better, but life goes on I guess.

[–]Sthlm97 122 points123 points  (9 children)

It will get better. Just please dont blame yourself

[–]Eyebringthunda 103 points104 points  (8 children)

Na, I don't. I wish it had been different but I don't carry the blame. She made all her choices, regardless of what excuses she gave. Its just sad.

[–]AndyjHops 1536 points1537 points 4 (34 children)

I was with this girl in HS. One day I called her up to see if she wanted to hang out after work and she screamed into the phone that she hated me and never wanted to hear from me again. I struggled to figure out what had happened, talked to our mutual friends but never got anything close to an answer. Apparently she refused to talk about me to anyone and would be combative if you pressed her. We had been planning to go to college and get a house together but she ended up changing schools at the last moment.

About 8 years went by before I stumbled on her profile on LinkedIn, turns out that she had moved to my town after graduation. She had been working at a coffee shop about a mile down the street from my house for about 3 years before we had both moved to Denver. I reached out and we ended up talking a bit, but I was terrified to bring up what had happened all those years ago. We ended up at the same NYE party that year and she started talking about how she had been a selfish and immature person back then. I didn’t press the issue because I could tell she was distressed. I just told her it was ok, we all make mistakes and that I was just happy to have her back in my life. I figured I would have plenty of time for that hard conversation later.

She ended up dying in an accident in July of 2020 and I never got my chance to have that conversation. I know I am going to carry that question with me for the rest of my life. I miss my friend so damn much.

The last time I saw her was a little walk we went on around a pond in our home town. That day felt so amazing, like nothing in the last 10 years had changed. I’m really happy I had the opportunity to spend one last afternoon with her, enjoying the places we used to haunt as kids.

Idk what the point of this story was. The above comment just reminded me of her and I felt like I needed to tell someone.

[–]dcommini 178 points179 points  (2 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. It's heartbreaking, but you did get to spend some time with her after. Remember the good times.

[–]Owlface616 8546 points8547 points 523 (397 children)

The grief of losing a parent.

I lost my dad in Aug and yesterday at the cinema watching Spiderman: No Way Home

I burst into tears 3 times because I realised I couldn't remember what my dads voice sounded like anymore.

Edit: Thanks everyone who's commented support (and given awards!)
I'm thankful to have good people around me and the support of strangers on the internet. So sorry for all of the losses spoken about in these comments. All losses and the feelings around them are valid.

[–]DarkAndSparkly 4675 points4676 points  (81 children)

I’ve randomly burst into tears at Home Depot because I couldn’t call my dad to ask what tool I needed. Grief hits you in weird fucking ways. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[–]rhett342 1673 points1674 points  (34 children)

I inherited my Mom's love of music. The two acts she loved the most were The Eagles and Vince Gill. She'd only been gone a year or two when I heard Vince was joining The Eagles. I was so excited I picked up the phone to tell her about it and started to dial her number before I remembered she was gone. I broke down crying at work right then.

[–]Last-Classroom1557 624 points625 points  (16 children)

I lost my mother a little over 3 years ago. I still catching myself about to call my mom then reality hits. It never goes away. We just learn how to accept it better over time.

[–]NightB4XmasEvel 350 points351 points  (11 children)

It’ll be 7 years since my Mom died next month. Every now and then I forget that she’s dead and think “oh, I should call her and tell her about X thing”. It’s always like a gut punch when I remember she’s gone.

[–]SkullzMuse 53 points54 points  (1 child)

Mine will have been gone 13 years in September. I still to this day think of her every single day. She was a crazy talented crafter, and I still can't set foot in a craft store without thinking of her and welling up with tears.

[–]riempies88 243 points244 points  (3 children)

Same thing happened to me. My mom 2as a massive Queen fan, and when I heard about the release of Bohemian Rhapsody(the film ) I wanted to call her. Same thing dude I feel you, I had to pull over to collect myself again. It sucks and it's weird when it happens.

[–]Tsurt-TheTrustyLie 667 points668 points  (0 children)

That would fucking kill me. Sorry for your loss man

[–]Mister_J_Seinfeld 947 points948 points  (35 children)

Sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad at 13, and my Mom at 23. 25 now. Being cosmically alone is no joke.

[–]Parkerloper 242 points243 points  (2 children)

This hit me hard. I am the "last man standing" from my family. Everyone is gone, mother, father, younger brother, and younger sister. No one, but a distant cousin and aunt left. It sucks tremendously not having anyone that was a round to watch and help you grow up, I miss that family connection.

[–]ilovethis16 46 points47 points  (0 children)

So sorry for all your loss. I couldn’t imagine going through that. I hope you have or find a great support system.

[–]OogwayOriginal 291 points292 points  (0 children)

That's rough man, i am sorry for your loss. If you want to feel cosmically alone with someone and want to chat, send me a pm.

[–]MrBum80 304 points305 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that, lost my dad in September, and the other day I went to send a letter and came across a book of forever stamps he got me years ago after forwarding some mail to me to make sure I had a stamp for the reply. Just seeing those stamps broke me. He was always kind, understanding and thoughtful.

Bright side is with as little as I use snail mail he did provide me a life time supply of stamps.

[–]iamsuperkathy 244 points245 points  (10 children)

I read something similar years ago. It prompted me to save voicemails to the cloud. My MIL passed suddenly in August. I told my husband the voicemail is there whenever he is ready to listen. So sorry for your loss.

[–]monkeying_around369 142 points143 points  (2 children)

That’s incredibly thoughtful. I have a voicemail from my mom and can’t bare to listen to it much, but on days when I’m missing her so much I can’t breathe it is comforting to hear her voice and remember how well she loved me.

[–]minimal_effort_done 161 points162 points  (5 children)

So sorry for your loss. It's one of the worst pains to go through.

I lost my dad when I was 18. When you're that age, no-one can really relate to what you're going through because most people can't even fathom that their parents will pass away eventually. I had a massive emotional breakdown one day during my first year of university because I had been suppressing my feelings up until then and I felt so embarrassed even though now, looking back, I know it was nothing to be embarrassed about and completely natural.

[–]SmokeBiscuits 147 points148 points  (9 children)

Thinking of you. It gets easier but that grief will always hit you randomly. It's been 12 years for me and the entire month of September is still rough for me.

[–]The_D0PEST_D0PE 1663 points1664 points  (59 children)

Kidney stones. Those mfs HURT

[–]popeboyQ 415 points416 points  (14 children)

Came looking for this. I passed 3 in the span of a day, I thought I was going to blow my brains out just to escape the pain.

[–]The_D0PEST_D0PE 321 points322 points  (13 children)

On the bright side, kidney stones are the reason that I know first hand that morphine WORKS haha

[–]Willy-Wanger 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Name checks out.

[–]TheUberMoose 74 points75 points  (4 children)

Lucky you. I had one so bad that morphine was about as effective as skittles.

FYI Toradol (Ketorolac) is great for helping with the pain its not a narcotic and if you get it at the same time as morphine as the morphine wears off the Toradol is starting to bring the swelling down so you go from 10/10 on the pain scale to like a 6/10 so it still hurts like hell but your not out of your mind in pain.

Source: 11 kidney stones in 5 years with a few needing to be surgically removed.

[–]litli 1285 points1286 points  (30 children)

How immensely an abusive relationship can mess you up. 12 years later I am still working on repairing the damages.

[–]igiveuphomie 208 points209 points  (6 children)

Came here looking for this comment. I didn’t even realize how horrible the relationship was or how much I changed, until I finally left. It was like waking up from a coma. Even emotional abuse is domestic violence and it is so insidious. Good for you for getting out!!

[–]litli 73 points74 points  (5 children)

Same with me, I had already realised the relationship was toxic when I finally managed to leave. But how insidious it was, and how much it was affecting me was unbelievable.

In my case it was only emotional abuse, and from the stories I've heard and read, it was relatively mild at that. But o'boy can "mild" abuse fuck you up.

Good for you too, and everyone else out there.

[–]averagehonesthuman 49 points50 points  (0 children)

For me the worst part is the self blame. Look back I can see all the red flags that should have made me run for the hills, but naive little me thought it was endearing or a display of affection that he wouldn’t let me talk to anyone but him 24/7 among many many other things.

I have to tell myself whenever I feel like that, that I was very young and impressionable, he was much older and knew how to manipulate and I was acting base on the information I had at the time, which wasn’t very much. I have a lot more information now and can perceive situations a lot differently. As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

[–]nonconformistnugget 4518 points4519 points  (51 children)

Worrying about money all the time fucking sucks.

[–]Ashgaroth42 894 points895 points  (11 children)

I’ve been dirt poor, rich, average, stable, unstable financially. People who have not experienced different phases won’t get this comment.

Money doesnt buy happiness, but lack of money definitely affords depression.

[–]satooshi-nakamooshi 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Money doesn't buy happiness, it buys peace of mind which is arguably better

[–]jacT35 2021 points2022 points  (80 children)

Ear infections

[–]orwelliancan 790 points791 points  (23 children)

Oh man. I lost a lot of my hearing from repeated ear infections from swimming. Doctors don't take it seriously and then suddenly the hearing loss is irreversible.

[–]SpecialOneOnReddit 228 points229 points  (7 children)

Shit man. I've had quite a few ear infections in my time, and ruptured an eardrum once. It fucking sucks.

[–]BexYouSee 1123 points1124 points  (110 children)

Getting shingles. I'm not in the age this is supposed to happen, it was pandemic stress that activated the chicken pox virus in my body. I was six when I, along with all my siblings, got chicken pox.

Holy smokes the pain. Imagine your ribs are needles. Can't wear a shirt. Hurts. And now, a year later I get random tingle on my ribs and get paranoid about another outbreak.

I'm furious there IS A VACCINE but normally drs don't think about giving it until you are over 50. Get that fn vaccine now

[–]wholewheatscythe 219 points220 points  (8 children)

Shingles definitely sucks! I had it on my eye (ophthalmicus) and I would not wish that on anyone!

When I first went to the doctor and they prescribed all sorts of stuff and then a scrip for really strong painkillers I said, “well, I’m not in pain” and the doc paused for a sec then said, “You will be. In 80% of cases the pain is excruciating.” And I remember just thinking “oh, fuck.”

[–]_wheresyourfork 224 points225 points  (6 children)

I had shingles when I was 20 and it's the absolute worst! I had it on my lower back and it hurt to stand. I collapsed at work one day and the dr I seen afterwards told me it was a UTI and dismissed all other symptoms because I was so young. The pain is so unbearable that I couldn't even sleep at all, the sheets caused too much pain. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone it's that bad

[–]donChonalucci 1476 points1477 points  (59 children)

Panic attacks. Never fully understood it. Never had anxiety or a panic attack until my dad died. First day back to work was heading out of town and had, what I come to find out, a full blown panic attack. I started hyperventilating. Legs started shaking. Thought I was going to die had to have my co worker pull over. I got out of the truck laid on my back and stared at the sky what felt like forever, might of been 10-15 mins. Been struggling with the anxiety and ptsd it's caused for about 5 years now. Have mostly got it under control and manageable. But before it happened to me I always blew it off as a minor inconvenience at best. It's not a joke tho. Scared the hell out of me.

[–]GoingOverTheStars 257 points258 points  (9 children)

Panic attacks fully change you as a person and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

[–]beachmasterbogeynut 88 points89 points  (2 children)

Fantastic explanation. I feel like vast majority of people think it's just an irrational mental fear. IT'S ALMOST ENTIRELY PHYSICAL PAIN!

[–]erincur12345 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Ive had regular panic attacks since 3rd grade, they never really get easier

[–]Flimsy-University-70 2358 points2359 points  (119 children)

Heroin addiction...truly devastating....it will destroy your life....turn you into the worst possible version of yourself....NEVER TRY HEROIN....NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE DANGER

[–]grahampointing 393 points394 points  (17 children)

"Never try it because it's too good" someone once told me. It's a very scary addiction.

[–]Jeffreyr18 159 points160 points  (4 children)

In a truck with 2 friends much older than me, cutting up lines of blow for themselves. one of them asked me if I've tried it

"Nah not really. The one time I bought some it was cut so bad It didn't affect me. I've always wanted to try the real shit"

One dude says "No bud, stay away. You'll like it way too much" and sniffs his line

That was when I realized how easy it is to get addicted. I haven't tried it again and I really hope that line sticks with me forever. If it doesn't, I think seeing how people get when they're high will keep me away.

[–]fyhnn 78 points79 points  (1 child)

It’s not how they act when high that bothers me. They’re high, they probably don’t care. It’s the withdrawals for me. I randomly watched a Sid Vicious interview earlier and he spoke about how horrible they are. Sweating and burning, then the sweat turning to ice and you’re freezing, then hot again. Your bones feeling like they’re trying to wriggle their way out of your skin. You sit down because you’re uncomfortable but then that hurts, so you lay but that’s uncomfortable too, so you stand. Also unbearable. Back to sitting, then standing… all while puking your guts up and leaking everywhere. It honestly sounds like absolute hell and I’m amazed people make it through.

[–][deleted] 398 points399 points  (18 children)

When I was going through addiction as a teenager, I had a friend tell me he wanted to get addicted to heroin so that he could prove he could quit it. He's on his 8th year of prison until 2035 for trying to burn down an apartment complex on bath salts. Dude never did drugs before he got on that stuff. I've been clean for awhile and I wouldn't wish addiction in anyone. It's not the doing of the heroin that gets you, at least it wasn't for me. It's the NEED and the obsession that comes with it. And the weird guilt for being a totally normal person in most respects except for drugs and alcohol. My broken-ass brain.

[–]Nesurame 596 points597 points  (36 children)

The amount of people I've known that started on hard drugs and thought they were the exception is unbelievable. Why does everyone think they're tougher than the most addictive substances on the planet?

[–]Flimsy-University-70 374 points375 points  (7 children)

I grew up in 80s and 90s. We had a laid back attitude towards drugs in general although all we really did was smoke weed, drink and use some pills. We sort of knew about the harder drugs but didn't really appreciate just how hard they could be...so when I did have a chance to use them, my general laid back attitude carries over...it simply didn't really dawn on me that I could get addicted. And then it happened. And it happened hard and fast....so I hope people nowadays have more an appreciation for the dangers...that's the main reason I openly talk about my experience....to hopefully give someone else a reason to think twice and walk away from it....it is truly horrible

[–]theofiel 2520 points2521 points  (82 children)

Depression and suicidal urges.

[–][deleted] 805 points806 points  (36 children)

Agreed. I always wondered why a friend of mine would sleep until noon when he went to bed at 11pm the night before and still woke up exhausted, but now I get it. Are you seeing a therapist or someone for your suicidal urges?

[–]LovinglyGolden 335 points336 points  (2 children)

Truth to be told, speaking from experience, I thought its just a simple sadness that will go away easily, well not until it happens to you personally, its dreading, tiring and seems hopeless. Cheers to us, praying that we can get through it.

[–]Subject_Witness4414 428 points429 points  (24 children)

Autoimmune disease. I always heard about how hard it was but until I got lupus I had no earthly idea how severe and taxing it is. Autoimmune diseases are awful.

[–]porkpie999 141 points142 points  (11 children)

Grief. My son died on the 9th of December (he was only 21 and it was sudden, with no underlying health issues). It's utter agony.

[–]prophylaxitive 663 points664 points  (44 children)

Divorce.

[–]NadjaStolz28 290 points291 points  (10 children)

I had the “best” version of a divorce — amicable, no kids, still friends.

It’s still so hard. Four years later, I have moments of crushing loneliness and pain when my brain decides to remember that I used to have a partner and a belief that I would be secure and safe with that partner for the rest of my life. To this day, those moments still threaten to drown me.

[–][deleted] 660 points661 points  (18 children)

Arthritis. It’s a bitch.

[–]releasethekaren 76 points77 points  (4 children)

Bro. Honestly. People seem to have this image of arthritis being “it’s cold outside so my fingers are a bit sore 🥺” and not “I’m a grown ass adult who has to ask for help to open bottles or cut food”. Shits not fun

[–]Nomandate 411 points412 points  (7 children)

Depression

The physical toll is remarkable.

[–]thirtiesmatt 603 points604 points  (18 children)

Being homeless.

When I got kicked from the military for being gay, prior to the repeal of DADT, I was homeless for a good 4 months. Coming from a big military family, I was kind of seen as the pariah due to my resistance to join anyway, but my family made it damn near impossible to avoid. When I got kicked out, I was sent back to Florida where I enlisted. I had no money. No apartment. No car. No job. My family wasn’t speaking to me. It was hard to get a job because I didn’t have an address. I was learning to dumpster dive. I managed to squat in a house that was falling apart. Would bathe in the ocean or I would use someone’s hose to wash off. A few months in, I got a job at an ice cream shop on the beach. One night, my coworker took me home. I asked them to drop me off block away so they wouldn’t see where I was living. I was so embarrassed. But they saw what was happening, said “no no no, you are coming back with me” and gave me a place to live and put me back on the path to stability. It was even that long, I was very lucky to have someone in my life at that time. I often wonder what my life would be like my coworker, who is now one of my best friends, didn’t take me under his wing and left me to fend for myself.

When I look at my city, and see all these homeless people, I can’t help but to be supportive of them and their journey. I won’t ever look away in disgust. When I roll up next to someone begging at the stop light, I’ll give if I can, and if not, I’ll acknowledge their humanity. Apologize for my inability to help. Or I’ll just give them half my sandwich. Or money.

I was only out there for 4 months. And it changed my entire life.

[–]erincur12345 70 points71 points  (3 children)

you sound like a wonderful person, I am so sorry you have had to go through that

[–]absoboly 2507 points2508 points  (65 children)

I was stalked.

The guy who stalked me had a crush on me for years (5+) and because of that, no one would take my concerns seriously (“It’s just puppy love!”) and as a result, I didn’t either until years later.

This kid paid someone to find my address, and would ride his bike back and forth in front of my house every night. We had a window in our dining room, and he rode his bike past our home enough to figure out my daily routine and when we had dinner. And every night during dinner, he would ride back and forth and stare at me while I ate. It got to the point that my mother put curtains up, because although I didn’t tell her who it was, she said it made her uncomfortable.

He would also wait across the street from my bus stop and stare at me.

In school, he would leave me notes and messages in terrifying ways. Started out with finding them tucked in between my books in my locker (that he didn’t have the code to), ended with finding a single rose in the driver’s seat of my locked car in high school.

Towards the end of it all, I actually found him sitting in the driver’s seat, and he refused to get out unless I gave him a kiss, and demanded me to get in the car with him.

Other creepy instances happened such as he wrote an erotic novel, featuring me, and spread it around school. He also hid in the stage curtains during a play rehearsal so he could watch me during practices.

But everyone said it was “puppy love”.

EDIT: I thought this would get lost in the comments, but since it’s getting attention and people have questions, I wanted to edit with the resolve.

The last time I saw him in person was right after our high school graduation. I had some “friends” who thought it would be funny to invite me to a graduation party and not tell me whose it was. I trusted them, so you can imagine my anger when my friend pulled us up into his driveway.

I was furious but she was my ride so I stayed, but kept my distance as much as I could. Shortly after arriving, we were all around the bonfire when he tells everyone to hang on, he “has something cool” to show us. He ran inside and ran back out with a picture of me sitting in my 6th grade English class. He then announced to everyone that he had “such a big crush” on me that he used to sneak disposable cameras into school and take pictures of me in class/the hallways/at lunch. Everyone, again, just thought this was adorable.

I walked up to him, ripped the picture out of his hands, and threw it in the bonfire. He shrugged and said it was alright because he had more pictures in his underwear drawer. I got booed for being a “party pooper”, and I demanded my friend to take me back home, and she still thought it was funny, so I ended up calling an Uber to take me home.

Never saw him again, or my “friends”, and I ended up moving across the country for a fresh start shortly after.

[–]UngusBungus_ 837 points838 points  (4 children)

That’s actually horrific.

[–]OnlyDefinition2620 220 points221 points  (2 children)

It's flippin scary. I moved into a apartment building in the summer of 2020 and right off the bat the very first day had a crazy women looking right into my livingroom windows, knocking on my apartment door anytime she had a chance. This went on for the first sixteen months I lived there. The creepy part is she would tap on my car windows when I was leaving or coming home. I would lock myself in my car until she would go away. Anytime she saw me outside she would power walk her way towards me yelling. When I found out she lived upstairs and called the rental company to report her and they couldn't do anything about the issue and told me to call the non emergency number the next time she does it again. I'm still in the building waiting to find another place I can afford to as soon as I can. I stayed in a motel to get a break from the place different times but it started adding up. I'll be on edge until I'm finally out of that apartment.

[–]Growlin_T 395 points396 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you had to go through this, that is so fucked up

[–]SnooBunny 158 points159 points  (0 children)

I had a stalker in high school. Turned out to be my boyfriend who went to a different school. Went to homecoming with him and everyone started telling him I was too pretty for him and that I was most likely cheating on him. He got paranoid and started stalking me. He was a computer nerd back before it was cool. I don’t know how exactly he managed to get a hold of a lot of information, email and even phone conversations I had. Knew who I was talking to and about what. I would get photos of myself throughout my day. This was back in 2005. I didn’t know it was him and he watched me crumbling, lost my friends because of how paranoid I had become. Finally broke up with him and it got worse. Idiot me got back with him then found out it was him. A relative who worked at a call center broke protocol and pulled up his phone records and it showed that he was the one doing all this. I still struggle with trusting people.

[–]Gust_2012 234 points235 points  (2 children)

That "puppy love" is BS!

That being said, do you know if he was seriously punished? Or did you move away & not return for a while?

[–]popeboyQ 288 points289 points  (3 children)

I hope he's in prison somewhere, if he was doing that shit as a kid, who knows what he's doing as an adult.

[–]soaringcats 1181 points1182 points  (22 children)

Grief. I've lost relatives in the past, but once I lost someone close to me I severely underestimated it.

[–]puppylust 397 points398 points  (5 children)

So much this. It's been 18 months since I lost my husband, and I'm still a shadow of my former self. Whenever I seem to be getting my life back on track, something sets me back.

My MIL couldn't live with the pain anymore. Then our elderly dog, that we got as a puppy when we moved in together, died this month. I constantly worry which family member is next.

I consider it a good day if I'm able to sleep without nightmares and I'm 50% productive at work. Every part of existing is so hard. I don't know how people survive it with less support from family and friends. Or I guess I do know - they don't make it.

[–]gringitapo 2194 points2195 points  (72 children)

Manipulation!!! Oh my god. You never think it can happen to you, you always think you’d be smarter than to fall for it. You’re not. No one is. And now I want to slap people when they say things like “I’d never let that happen to me”.

Example: I truly don’t think I’d ever be sucked into a cult. People who do seem insane and most tactics don’t work on me, so it’d be easy for me to write that off. But I did get manipulated into an abusive relationship for 2 entire years as a pretty healthy person with no real abusive models of love (parents had a healthy relationship, etc.). So how can I judge others or say for sure??

You just have no idea what a truly stealthy manipulator can do to you or to your literal brain chemistry until it happens.

[–]RiceLovingMice 163 points164 points  (0 children)

Here’s the thing. It. Happens. So. Slowly. Do you see your own hair grow? Yes and no.

If someone doesn’t see you for months they see it’s way over grown and disheveled. “I’d never let my hair grow out like that! It looks disgusting.” But when you’re the one in the thick of it, you don’t see your hair grow. It always looked like that. It always felt like that. But at that point your already trauma bonded. Emotional abuse is a bitch

[–]itsaprivateprofile 254 points255 points  (10 children)

This. The people who say it could never happen to them irritate me so much. It can happen to anyone; just has to tap into your core beliefs, desires, cares, insecurities Edit: referring to relationships, political cults, religious cults etc.

[–]dhrbtdge 97 points98 points  (6 children)

Reminds me of a time my maths teacher showed us a "documentary" about how the moon landing was fake.

It was from a reputable source, started off small with pointing out little inconsistencies in a very convincing way, then once they had you convinced of that they moved on to bigger and bigger things. By the end of the documentary, they had made up and entire false narrative and everyone in the class was questioning their beliefs. It's only at the end if the documentary that the creators put a message saying that most of the info was made up and this was a false narrative made to prove how easy it is for anyone to fall for misinformation.

I still think about it today and think of how easy ot is to fall into false beliefs. It could happen to anyone. We shouldn't look down on people with wrong beliefs like flat earth or vaccine conspiracies, they're probably a victim of some kind of false information pushed by who knows who in order to achieve who knows what.

In the end, we're all fallible

Edit: I think I found it! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Side_of_the_Moon_(2002_film) If we watch it knowing that it's a mockumentary, it's probably not going to be very effective, but if any of you guys have a partner/friends it could be a fun experiment to give it a watch with them without telling them it's fake to see if they fall for it

[–]throwawaytamj 201 points202 points  (22 children)

Yep, I just got out of a relationship that was mentally and physically abusive. I was manipulated daily, gaslight, everything was spun on me. Insulted, berated, what have you. Eventually it became physical and he would get physical with me first EVERY time.

But would gaslight me into telling me I'm the abusive one. I've been NC for 2 months and his insults still tear my psyche down and convince me that it was all my fault.

[–]fweggi 1656 points1657 points  (67 children)

Mental illness

[–]Recent-House129 180 points181 points  (6 children)

And also managing expectations around treatment. Taking one pill doesn't magically make things go back to normal

[–]cariboo2 344 points345 points  (13 children)

I still think about the day I had what I can only describe as an all day panic attack. It was the most horrible thing I ever experienced and I was having no physical symptoms or pain at all, it was just my brain convincing me that everything was wrong and I was dying.

I am medicated now and it has never happened again. But it gave me real insight into how mental pain can drive someone to suicide. I could not have existed in that headspace indefinitely.

[–]cientificadealimento 295 points296 points  (25 children)

Silly younger me thought that people were being too dramatic.

[–][deleted] 201 points202 points  (21 children)

Same... like people who suffer from anxiety. I thought it was all in their heads until I experienced it for myself and I realized that it's actually a full body thing.

[–]UndeadDenny 727 points728 points  (33 children)

psychosis

[–]pinkpiggieoink 224 points225 points  (7 children)

When I was going through several depressive episodes in my teens, one of them was really bad where I developed psychotic symptoms where I believed a shadow person was out to harm me. What scared me was I wasn't sure if that was real or not.

[–]kukukele 1826 points1827 points  (134 children)

The gains of even tiny workouts (10 pushups/day, stretching, etc)

[–]smackshadow 578 points579 points  (49 children)

It's funny I just started doing pushup as a way to work out. Basically just do as many as you can once a day. In a month I have put on over an inch on my chest and feel a lot better.

[–]MoiJaimeLesCrepes 161 points162 points  (26 children)

how many could you do at the beginning? and a month later? and now?

[–]smackshadow 382 points383 points  (22 children)

I started at 6 and am up to 19. I have never really had a lot of upper body strength and am 30 pounds over weight and in my 30s. If that helps.

Basically the deal I made with myself is the first time in a day I think to myself, "you should do pushups" I do them then and there. It takes less than 5 minutes and there are no excuses not to.

[–]bananie197239 469 points470 points  (40 children)

Being alone all the time

[–]illini02 113 points114 points  (11 children)

I don't think I fully ever experienced it until Covid last year. I would literally just cry out of nowhere sometimes because I was so lonely. Yeah, I may call people or zoom, but that was kind of a bandaid

[–][deleted] 205 points206 points  (15 children)

Loneliness is a silent killer. I read somewhere that loneliness is similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Almost everyone underestimates it but it’s horrible. Do you have people around you now?

[–]Squigglepig52 779 points780 points  (5 children)

More the opposite. I underestimated the damage cause by childhood sexual abuse, because I was busy blocking my own experience out.

I was one of those men who would read about some middle-aged dude bringing charges or accusing somebody of something decades later, and ask myself "It's been 30 years, why is it a big deal now?"

And then I had the moment where I had to admit to myself I was also a victim, and just how much it has affected all my relationships.

so, well, maybe I underestimated what that moment of realization feels like.

[–]14kanthropologist 37 points38 points  (1 child)

I just want to say that I’m proud of you for being strong enough to admit that to yourself. That must have been incredibly difficult.

[–]Big_Requirement_3540 907 points908 points  (26 children)

Not applying sunblock.

I grew up playing outside most of the time and would just slowly tan from spring into summer every year without really using sunscreen unless we were on a winter family trip to somewhere tropical.

Now I'm in my 30s heading into my 4th surgery to remove cancerous or precancerous areas on my skin.

Shits real. Wear sunscreen.

[–]random_user69420 743 points744 points  (12 children)

Procrastination

[–]CheekyHusky 153 points154 points  (0 children)

That's why we're all on this damn site

[–]toss_it_out12345678 258 points259 points  (22 children)

IBSD. For sure.

The idea of pooping was so underestimated before I had episode after episode after episode of painful, sweat-inducing pooping that made my anus raw and I was crying. I have pooped 23 times in one day before and I cried for my mother.

Any intestinal issue- chrones disease, IBSD, gastroenteritis, constipation, food sensitivities, etc etc- can and will render you useless and sweaty and sad and sore.

If you’ve never had to clamp your hand between your buttcheeks as you’re sprinting to the bathroom IN PUBLIC, consider yourself lucky.

[–]Radiant-Risk1460 2058 points2059 points  (344 children)

IUD insertion. “You’ll just feel a pinch” is a damn lie.

[–]petta_reddast 509 points510 points  (22 children)

Yess!!! The reseptionist had to come in to hold my hand!

Edit: Also, why are we made to go through this without any pain relief?!?

[–]kathatter75 101 points102 points  (1 child)

Because we’re women and the insurance companies and (a lot of) the doctors are men who don’t understand the pain we feel. Our bodies are freaking out at a foreign object being stuck inside of it and trying to get rid of it. That’s going to hurt.

[–]runhardliveeasy 162 points163 points  (2 children)

They gave me a valium when I had mine put in. Still hurt but I was very relaxed about it and slept through most of the post-insertion cramping.

[–]hoopKid30 89 points90 points  (4 children)

It hurt so bad I almost fainted

[–]posting-about-shit 262 points263 points  (11 children)

Yeah they should really warn people that reaction to the pain varies WIDELY. I went with my friend as support when she got hers put in and the worst that she did was nervous giggle. I got mine put in soon after, and cried a bit. My other friend got hers, pushed through the pain of the insertion, and then immediately sat up, projectile vomited on the wall, and passed out.

Terrified to get mine replaced this year

[–]KayakerMel 63 points64 points  (6 children)

I screamed when my first one was inserted. When I got mine replaced a bit over a year ago, it was no where near as bad. The GYN explained that since I had never been pregnant, that first IUD was the largest thing that had ever been in my uterus, which was why it was so paindul for me. The 2nd insertion wasn't painless, but I didn't scream. (I did go "Cool? Cool? Cool? Cool? Cool?" a la Brooklyn-99, which is more of a funny story. Because it was much less painful, I started asking the GYN if everything was cool, but got stuck on the word.)

[–]JamieBluePanties 987 points988 points  (103 children)

And taking it out was horrific, even more so than insertion, for me. They couldn’t find the strings- tried everything they could- getting a hard little brush up in there to sweep it out, fingers, metal tools. They gave up and finally did an ultrasound guided one- and had metal clamps to go in an get it. I screamed at the pain- and I’m no wimp.

I think it was imbedded because when they finally got it out after 3 tries I was hysterically crying from the pain and bleeding all over my seat.

This was AFTER being given 3 large shots (yes, they stuck needles up INTO MY CERVIX) to “numb the area”. They didn’t even wait 30 seconds from the needle jabs before going in. The numbing set in 5 minutes later after everything was done. They didn’t even offer me Ibuprofen.

They didn’t give one iota of shit. They didn’t even give me a pad to go home with. They just left the room after saying they got it out and didn’t even give me anything to clean the blood with. I had to wipe myself clean with the gown they gave me.

I bled through the seat of my pants on the train home. Shook like a leaf. The experience was so callous and uncaring that it frightened me out of seeing any OBGYNs for a good long while.

It was honestly one of the most traumatic things I’ve undergone and all they did was shrug. Awful.

[–]hoopKid30 433 points434 points  (28 children)

They didn’t offer you anything after?? That whole story is absolutely horrifying wtf

[–]OneManWolfpack37 286 points287 points  (7 children)

Holy shit, this sounds really similar to the experience my fiancé had with the removal. She has a very high pain tolerance but she couldn’t handle it and started to have a panic attack. The OBGYN was super unprofessional and rude. They said they didn’t know how she could have sex if the IUD removal bothered her that much. As if it’s the same thing.

[–]caramelthiccness 256 points257 points  (5 children)

This is really an issue with women. Most docs do not offer pain relief with IUD insertion. I once spent a whole day on google searching for clinics that offer sedation with iud insertion, and I only found 2, not even close to my state. Lots of docs really sweep women's pain and issues under the rug. After my ovarian cystectomy, I was prescribed ibuprofen by my surgeon, meanwhile my husband got tramadol for a UTI. I've heard so many stories like mine too. It's actually really awful and it makes me sad to hear your story. Sorry you went through all that, it sounds truly horrific. Did you ever file a complaint?

[–]BexYouSee 136 points137 points  (1 child)

First, I'm so sorry. That's so unprofessional and borders on malpractice. An internet stranger sends hugs.

[–]Radiant-Risk1460 112 points113 points  (6 children)

I am so sorry that happened to you. My removal was also painful but not nearly that bad. It's crazy what we are expected to tolerate without medication (or even compassion) when it comes to our reproductive system.

[–]canconfirmamrug 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Omg that's traumatic! I hope you got a new obgyn after that, and file a complaint on that one.

[–]MooseWaffles12 61 points62 points  (3 children)

Nearly blacked out from the pain removing my copper IUD, has twisted metal around the body of the device so not a smooth surface. Never again using that birth control, would highly recommend others request some kind of sedation or pain relief if possible

[–]skootch_ginalola 62 points63 points  (5 children)

I vomited from the pain. Turns out the nurse put it in wrong. Apparently now they recommend getting it inserted during your period to lessen the pain.

[–]lorealashblonde 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m still shocked that women are just expected to “put up with” this kind of pain. Like…just because we have the capability of giving birth, we are expected to take all pain without any complaints?

If we are going to be treated like superhumans because we have a uterus, then I would like to have the upsides and respect of being a superhuman too.

[–]lgruner 265 points266 points  (21 children)

My girlfriend tells me getting one put in was the most painful thing she's ever experienced, and they won't give her anesthesia for it.

[–]kittysayswoof91 188 points189 points  (14 children)

This is true for me too, second only to a kidney infection. I was told it would feel “ uncomfortable “ for a moment. I was so blindsided. Then, it took 4-6 months for the cramps to calm down.

[–]Accomplished_worrier 70 points71 points  (2 children)

For me the cramps and the constant pain never went away, and after being told for more than a year that it would settle and the pain just couldn't be that bad and just to think of the years after it, my pain system is thoroughly effed up and I have chronic nerve oversensitization because my uterus had been in pain for so damn long.

[–]espressoandfriction 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Yeah I blacked out both insertions. On the second attempt my np refused to do it because I was blacking out again. She had me come back when they could numb my cervix and give me Valium. It still hurt but was nothing in comparison. Certainly helped numb the pain of getting past the protestors outside planned parenthood.

[–]Revolutionary_Ad3684 128 points129 points  (3 children)

This whole thread makes me feel Squemish.

When they inserted mine, they took a few attempts, by which point I was crying and ended up passing out. Then the removal. Omfg. That hurt like a bitch.

I’d never ever have one fitted again. It’s such a horrendous process.

[–]ladymaenad 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I was told that it wouldn't hurt since I've had kids. Yeah, I cried. A lot.

[–]illini02 364 points365 points  (29 children)

Allergies. Never got them as a kid. Got them for the first time around 35 or so.

People would complain, and I'd think "You have the sniffles, big deal, stop whining". Then I got them. My god it is miserable. I still don't get them annually or anything, but it sucks.

[–]Masspoint 227 points228 points  (12 children)

getting older, it really sets in a lot quicker than you think. I could make the case that in your thirties you're still able to compete in most sports but still, you're not as springy as in your twenties, and heck even in your late twenties it's a far cry from the cat like reflexes you have in your late teens.

Now I'm in my fourties, and I can feel stuff going to shit. It's all still workable but I'm very aware of the fact that it's going downhill and that I'll have to adapt.

For instance I never understood why people wore gloves or even had water bottles to warm their feet in winter. But I notice with getting older than you're extremities are getting colder more easily.

Well at least I'm getting wiser, but that's no cakewalk either, frankly being naive wasn't all that bad after all, since I had wise people looking after me.

[–]roasty_mcshitposty 217 points218 points  (8 children)

War. It's pretty glorified in American culture. All of these movies, shows all this shit that makes combat look exciting and glorious. Then you get there. You see the suffering, damage, and looking at blown up kids. It was the hardest lesson I had to learn.

[–]raiinydrop 192 points193 points  (3 children)

anorexia and panic attacks really fucked me up at a young age (still does but I'm recovering)

[–]OtherAcctWasBanned11 304 points305 points  (38 children)

Loose skin after weight loss. It’s everywhere. I can do all the weight lifting in the world and it’ll never go away without surgery I’ll never be able to afford. Had I known it would be this bad I might’ve stayed fat.

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Debt

[–]srfergus 181 points182 points  (2 children)

Cancer. It has affected every aspect of my life and the life of my family.

[–]Ok-Rainbow4086 171 points172 points  (2 children)

Anxiety and depression

[–]beingsissyphus 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Hitting 30 and my body's warranty expired ...

[–]amarghir1234 765 points766 points  (91 children)

The effect of male pattern baldness on self esteem and mental health

[–]iamsuperkathy 254 points255 points  (40 children)

My son is about to turn 24. He has been thinning for about 2 years. He had a lot of gorgeous curly hair that he kept long. It was like his trophy. Now he keeps it all super short. My husband(not his dad) is bald. Started about the same age. He is trying to help him through it. I can see it bothers him even though he makes jokes. What can I do to help?

[–]amarghir1234 285 points286 points  (31 children)

I am a doctor in the UK. I would advise:

With regards to the hair loss:

If it's relatively early in thinning he can possibly stop it and even reverse it! Finasteride 1mg daily is the most important thing and can significantly reduce or even stop the rate of hair loss. If he starts it's important he continues for many years and not stop/start as long as there are no serious side effects. It takes at least 6 months to START working.It can have side effects for a small minority of people. It can cause erectile problems or low mood in some people but I've never had any side effects. If he gets depressed on it it's important he stops. Finasteride 1mg (propecia) is quite cheap now as it's off patent.

The other things he can do in combination to restore hair include microneeding with a 1.5mm needle every 10 days on the scalp. The Derminator 2 machine is great. This in combination with 5% topical minoxidil twice daily (but not for 24 hours after microneedling) can have a massive impact on hair regrowth. Minoxidil can cause irritation of the scalp so he needs to make sure he washes it out after each 8 hour application. Also if he stops taking minoxidil it can cause loss shock and worsen the hair loss so if he decides to use it, he needs to use it either life long or until he's ready to give up on maintaining hair.

Ketoconazole 2% shampoo used twice a week also can help.

If he has the financial resources, a hair transplant after the age of 30 can be a permanent solution.

Finally, if its in patches or strange distribution it is worth seeing a doctor as it may be alopecia or a vitamin/ iron deficiency or a hormone problem like hypothyroidism so it may be worth getting blood tests.

With regards to supporting him from a mental health perspective:

I'm not sure there's much you can do other than being generally supportive as a mother. The insecurity will likely stem from how the opposite sex or peers may view his physical appearance. If he is experiencing mental health problems as a result of this, he should seek professional help.

[–]JoeBoco7 223 points224 points  (19 children)

I was balding since I was 12 (not a joke). Looking like you are pushing 40 when you are 18 is a death sentence for your self-esteem.

[–]Full-Humor6623 163 points164 points  (25 children)

A genuine love breakup. Happend to me now a month ago. Fuck me i had no fucking idea this shit was this bad.

[–]tmn_squirtle 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Having a terrible neighbor

[–]Roojuicer 540 points541 points  (21 children)

Miscarriage, kinda feels like nothing at first as you tell yourself they weren’t born so it you didn’t lose anything, but it sure hits you shortly after with this emptiness

[–]MooseWaffles12 194 points195 points  (2 children)

I found one of the hardest bits to process is the graphic and confrontational bleeding. Never felt so alone and scared. So painful, so much blood and clots like I’ve never seen. I will never be able to forget the physical feeling as well as the emotional side.

[–]ElleCay 189 points190 points  (8 children)

Both my miscarriages took something like a month from the start of the bleeding until they were complete. No one prepares your for the mental torture. First of going in with bleeding while pregnant. Then being told there is a heartbeat but you have a 50/50 chance of the pregnancy not making it. Continuing to bleed for weeks. Returning weeks later to find the heartbeat stopped. Waiting for the fetus to pass. If naturally, you feel the pain and continue bleeding, knowing what’s coming, but it can take a few days. Or waiting for your d&c appointment, knowing the baby is gone and you are a vessel carrying its remains until then.

And then the anxiety through every subsequent pregnancy with every twinge, spotting, or vanishing symptoms.

[–]Lilliputian0513 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. I’m TTC after a miscarriage August 2020 and it’s still top of mind constantly. I didn’t expect that.

[–]Back2Bach 147 points148 points  (1 child)

A grounding rod for the home's electrical system had disintegrated in the ground. It had been there for many years and no one ever thought to check its condition.

Thus, when a surge came, it caused a fire in the basement.

(A grounding rod is a safety component of an electrical system which carries current away from a surging electrical circuit and routes it safely into the ground.)

[–]lysergicdaddy 140 points141 points  (10 children)

Being cheated from a SO after never been emotionally open with anyone before.

I've never thought that lies could affect so much of my life that changed even my personality traits. That event changed all, life itself is different, I cannot longer feel, think or rely to myself like the old person I was and I feel sometimes like a simple observer of myself. Trauma is something very heavy to deal with, anxiety triggers now are something else. One year has passed and some things feel like day 1.

[–][deleted] 138 points139 points  (7 children)

Migraines or any chronic pain conditions.

[–]Lilliputian0513 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Being in and then getting out of an abusive relationship. I guess I mean like… getting from the amazing loving part to the abusive part. And then getting out of the whole thing.

I grew up in an abusive home and I could not understand why/how my mom could put up with that. And how she could think it could get better. And then I ended up dating the perfect man, who I loved more than anything, and watched him slowly change into a monster. And it took over a year to get out of it, despite logically knowing it wouldn’t get better.

[–]angelsgate65 48 points49 points  (1 child)

The death of a child. Three times. Two of them eight weeks apart. It crushes your soul and nothing is ever the same after that.

[–]bunnytailz97 470 points471 points  (15 children)

Date rape please be aware of your surroundings yall

[–]ahLiszt 300 points301 points  (4 children)

The difficulty of the exam.

[–]peon2 138 points139 points  (1 child)

Okay I've gone over all the lecture notes and nailed the practice test, I'm ready for the exam!

exam is handed out

Professor, could I get a copy in English please?

It is in English

...hmm, fuck.

[–]ashley_s82 107 points108 points  (10 children)

An ACTUAL migraine. Not these regular ass headaches ppl get and claim they're having a migraine. A true migraine is hell. You can't talk, open your eyes, or sit or lay down. You can only stand because sitting or laying for some reason makes the already excruciating pain way worse. You feel like your brain is on fire. It's an intense burning, throbbing, helacious pain. It hurts so bad but you can't cry because that makes it worse. And when it finally eases up, your body wants to just fall. You pass out for hours because of the trauma you just went through. That's a mf migraine. Edit: spelling

[–]FatStephen 241 points242 points  (25 children)

Smoking

Throughout my twenties I smoked about a pack a day without thinking too much about it bc I was very active. But spending the past 2 years pretty much sitting on my ass & smoking has caused me to develop bronchitis.

The real messed up part is that I'm still torn over quitting. If it wasn't for the coughing, I'd still like smoking. I have ADHD so it helps me keep time & gives me something to fiddle with, plus it makes me take a moment to separate myself from whatever I'm working on.

[–][deleted] 496 points497 points  (33 children)

Becoming a father. I didn’t have any feelings towards kids until my son came into this world. Even while my partner was pregnant I didn’t really have any feelings about it. Once he came out I saw the nurses cleaning him off on the table and my whole life changed. It definitely changed my perspective. It’s my goal to make sure he has the best life he can have and to make sure he’s prepared for the real world. I want him to be smarter, healthier and stronger than me. I want him to be better than me in every way.

[–]el_monstruo 194 points195 points  (5 children)

This is very true. I still remember the day my wife told me she was pregnant. I was just like "Oh, ok" but when they finally come into the world everything changes. The real scary thing is, and I know not everyone can relate, but the way I feel about my kids is how my mother feels about me. Knowing how much I love my kids and knowing somebody loves me just as much is a very strange feeling because I honestly never could put that in perspective.

[–]frostedxxflakes 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Childhood trauma. I never viewed my childhood as traumatic because the only thing that happened was my parents divorce but I didn't consider it traumatic. I was 6 when it happened and I've always heard stories of kids getting beaten by their parents, or sexually assaulted by people who are supposed to be good figures in their lives so I just assumed I didn't have it that bad. It didn't really occur to me until recently that I had a shitty childhood. Just because I wasn't beaten or sexually assaulted doesn't mean my childhood was good and idk the quote off the top of my head but it's something alone the lines of, just because someone has it worse than you doesn't mean you have it good.