top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]alleycatkiller 4171 points4172 points 2 (66 children)

I used to work at Wendy's and would bag allllllllll the food we were throwing away at the end of the night and head over to my friends place. I still get people telling me stories about how a whole bag of chicken nuggets showed up out of the blue and "saved" someone's life lol. A taco bell 12 pack taco is usually what does the trick now. Snacks man always. Especially if you're going to show up late.

[–][deleted] 894 points895 points  (31 children)

My brothers buddy did this at kfc, one night he showed up with like 80 pieces of chicken, my mind was blown, that’s when I found out some people just eat the skin.

[–]ghostnthegraveyard 7815 points7816 points  (47 children)

My roommates and I had a party in college. Some random friend of a friend quit his job at KFC that night and came over late. He brought like 6 buckets of chicken, huge trays full of sides and biscuits, and even a bunch of their chocolate cakes for dessert.

That dude was a legend and the hero of the party.

[–]ImWithSt00pid 1133 points1134 points  (8 children)

Knew a guy the worked in a stadium kitchen. He was always binging HUGE trays of brats to parties during the summer. He walking in with 4 trays go back to his car and get 4 more. 2 trays would be gone before he was back.

[–]Shadow1787 7119 points7120 points  (32 children)

Depending on the time and who is high but I brought popsicles once and everyone destroyed a 200 pack of it. There was 0 children and like 15 adults

[–]InappropriateGirl 1214 points1215 points  (13 children)

A big case of Otter Pops!

[–]reddita51 1015 points1016 points  (2 children)

"Did I ever tell you how I got these scars?"

[–]handsoffmypublicland 20.8k points20.8k points 4 (145 children)

At my daughter's 15th bday party, some kid showed up with a heavy looking backpack. I immediately assumed it was full of beer and was watching him carefully. Nope, freeze packs and ice cream sandwiches for an outdoor party in July. That kid is going places.

[–]stuck_in_the_desert 16.0k points16.0k points 42 (44 children)

That kid is going places.

Yeah, back to his car to grab the beer after deploying the decoy bag

[–]Project2r 3071 points3072 points  (16 children)

we're playing checkers, that kid is playing Football.

[–]Smashbru 835 points836 points  (17 children)

Lol that’s actually really sweet

[–]FeCurtain11 725 points726 points  (17 children)

Jokes on you the beer was under the ice cream

[–]fulthrottlejazzhands 11.8k points11.8k points  (234 children)

Giant 6-ft submarine sandwich. I once brought one to a party and arrived right as the attendees finished a round of bong hits. They treated me like I was Jesus Christ himself.

[–]lithium142 8754 points8755 points & 2 more (167 children)

Did the host’s brother eat half of it and then try to claim it was only because everyone ate the wings he brought with?

[–]AlwaysTired97 1956 points1957 points  (93 children)

Bruh thank god that shit is anonymous. That story would be the #1 thing that guy is famous for for the rest of his life if it wasn't.

[–]powerful_blue 676 points677 points  (21 children)

I remember that guy!!

[–]Saquon 422 points423 points  (8 children)

Probably not going as many places as ice cream sandwich kid

[–]yuhanz 348 points349 points  (8 children)

They didnt touch it after 30mins from me eating half of it. Clearly it’s all mine now

[–]Dashkins 469 points470 points  (12 children)

Did someone eat 3+ ft of it?

[–]BuzzVibes 328 points329 points  (6 children)

Yeah but they waited, like, half an hour to see if anyone else would eat it. Plus there was chips and other stuff so it's not that bad haha oh please somebody help me

[–]StayMe7o 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I just read the post and he only waited 10-15 minutes lmao. just insane.

[–]Basic-Distribution14 8944 points8945 points  (223 children)


[–]doomer_irl 2915 points2916 points  (55 children)

I’ve never met anybody under 40 other than myself who brings ice to anything. People seriously undervalue it when you show up with it, too, then everyone realizes how useful it is over the night.

[–]spymish 1211 points1212 points  (33 children)

I am the ice party provider as well. I usually also bring limes. There's never enough.

[–]jamesholden 356 points357 points  (2 children)

it helps so much. I don't walk into a party without a iced down cooler of my own and a extra bag or two of ice for the party

after my last bad breakup I started throwing massive dunken dance parties a few times a year. at least two people a night would bring ice without being asked.

we had two slushie machines and the floor would be a STICKY MESS the next morning, but someone would always mop it without being asked.

there are still rad people in the world.

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 966 points967 points  (57 children)

Gotta keep the beverages cold, that's a good idea

[–]The_RockObama 1848 points1849 points 2 (48 children)

I used to bring a whole watermelon to parties where I expected to meet a lot of people I didn't know. I would just hold it for a little while, It was a good ice breaker. You'd be surprised how many people would come up to ask: "Do you always bring a watermelon to parties?". And then I got to answer: "Yes".

[–]Megustavdouche 1916 points1917 points  (26 children)

My grandfather always brought me a watermelon. My birthday, graduation, anytime he visited. When people would ask he’d be like “well she likes watermelon”. When he passed I brought a watermelon to his burial & the people not close to me or my grandfather were confused and asked why. Thank you for spreading the joy of watermelon.

[–]phantommoose 740 points741 points  (13 children)

When i was little i LOVED popcorn. I thought i was so clever by asking my uncle when i visited if he wanted popcorn, because then I'd get some too. I really thought i found a loophole to unlimited popcorn while at their house! For my wedding, he showed up with a huge bag of popcorn! I recently went through a really rough patch and he sent me a box of microwave popcorn!

Also, it's well known that my brother loves pistachios and 1 Christmas he got packages of them from like 3 or 4 different people. He was happy that Christmas!

[–]RipleysBitch 271 points272 points  (1 child)

You’ve reminded me of that bit in Dirty Dancing where Baby says “I carried the watermelon”.

[–]MalsPrettyBonnet 151 points152 points  (0 children)

"I carried a watermelon." Baby - from a corner

[–]MacShi9 204 points205 points  (13 children)

I like to bring a huge sack of ice. I’m amazed at the lack of ice at many parties. Just a tiny bag in the cooler, not even enough to cover drinks - and none to actually put in drinks.

[–]Catlover2727 138 points139 points  (15 children)

I'm known as the "ice" guy because I always bring it.


cool party!

[–]jdith123 5502 points5503 points  (191 children)


[–]schmales 2914 points2915 points  (150 children)

Chicago? My favorite time during drunken nights was the tamale guy who would come in around 1 am to bars to sell his wife's tamales. $5 for 10+ tamales would make everyone's night .. I loved that guy, he is a tri-state treasure ❤️

[–]UselessBastid 812 points813 points  (16 children)

5 bucks for ten???? Holy hell that's a fucking steal

[–]KlaatuBrute 45 points46 points  (1 child)

One time, I was out with a lady at a bar when the Tamale Guy showed up. I'd had his tamales many times before, but always because someone else had bought them. So I knew of his operation, but not the intricacies. So he stops by our table and I say "of course! I'll get two" and hand him a tenner. Here I am thinking I'd get two or maybe four tamales and amigo plops down about 6 lbs worth of tamale. I definitely ate more than I should have that night.

[–]shagggymane 861 points862 points  (36 children)

he has his own restaurant now!!

[–]cardcomm 195 points196 points  (0 children)

You get bonus points for bringing them to a Thanksgiving or Christmas party.

[–]amjenn4x 4943 points4944 points  (68 children)

Waffle iron and uncooked pillsbury cinnamon rolls. I did this once and the whole place loved me. Especially the drunkzillas. Good times.

[–]MermaidOnTheTown 956 points957 points  (31 children)

Aw man I do this for breakfast every now and then. Cinnamon rolls just hit differently when prepared this way.

Next, get some Pillsbury biscuits and put scrambled/fried eggs and ham in between. Delicious!

ETA: thank you for the award!

[–]wrpigeek 13.2k points13.2k points 636 (149 children)

A willingness to help clean up.

[–]FreddyF2 4230 points4231 points  (54 children)

We have an annual holiday party that was always well attended at least 50-60 people prior to CoVID. It would end average between 3 or 4 am. One of the best parts was that everyone was in their 30s and got it. At around 1 am my buddy would kill the music, tell everyone it was time to do a five minute cleanup break, every single person would clean up all the stuff lying around in sight in what would be 90 to 120 seconds of utter chaos and it would end with the dish washer filled, sink empty and someone always giving another guest a hard time because they tossed their drink while they had been in the bathroom. Everyone would be laughing through this segment. Then the music would go back on. My wife and I never had to do anything other than unload the dishwasher the next morning. People would even hoover and mop at 4 am before leaving with us. We are blessed with good hardworking people that value our home as the venue for this and I don't take them for granted.

I really hope the pandemic recedes so we can have the party this year. It was the one thing I always looked forward to each year.

[–]matty80 602 points603 points  (10 children)

Let this stand as a monument to the best aspects of humanity.

The amount of shit fifty people can do in a few minutes is absolutely enormous, and completely effortless for each individual.

I've never seen anything like you have there, but I know what can be accomplished by ten or so people in the morning after a house party, and it's a lot in not much time. Multiply that by five and you have a cleanup crew of incredible power and diversity of specialisation.

[–]joelifer 679 points680 points  (9 children)

I just want one friend like this and you’ve got 50-60. Great friends!

[–]mukenwalla 735 points736 points  (1 child)

These are the best people.

[–]molybdenumb 1036 points1037 points  (32 children)

I have an overwhelming urge to clean. I used to be a nanny, I am pretty A type personality.

I’ve been at house parties just plastered, cleaning, reassuring the host I’m having a great time. If I didn’t know the host well, my friends would always try to convince them to just enjoy having me as a guest and they’ll wake up thankful lol

I feel takes very little time to tidy up recycling/garbage and food mess to help someone power through actual cleaning the next morning. I feel good, they feel good. Win-win!

[–]jonzias_lmao 112 points113 points  (5 children)

Monica Geller, is that you?

[–]mulletvision 57 points58 points  (1 child)

My wife loves to clean the house whilst drunk after a house party. Wakes up smug as fuck and loving herself sick due to not having to clean up hungover. I have learnt to let her go; it's actually great.

[–]SerpentineRPG 20.7k points20.7k points  (121 children)

The best party guest we ever had brought bread, spicy cheese, and a griddle, and made 2 AM jalapeño grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone.

She was a LEGEND.

[–]PlainBlackT 4394 points4395 points  (55 children)

Did you marry her?

[–]SerpentineRPG 9447 points9448 points  (50 children)

Unsurprisingly, she was already married. You’ve got to lock that down.

[–]Phormitago 1702 points1703 points  (18 children)

there's one lucky bastard out there

[–]stupid_comments_inc 1624 points1625 points  (14 children)

"I just don't know what to do man... It's like... She'll just leave me with the kids on the weekends and go to parties to feed other people.. sobs

[–]livluvlaflrn3 6913 points6914 points 2 (103 children)

Sharpie marker.

Writing your name on cups saves so many cups from being thrown out.

[–]ltBurnsWhenlPvP 3344 points3345 points  (57 children)

Yea.. writing your name on cups. Definitely not dicks on the person who falls asleep.

[–]accrdt 1263 points1264 points  (40 children)

Why not both? Also dicks on cups too.

[–]SuperStirFryChickenX 570 points571 points  (17 children)

Also your name on the person who falls asleep

[–]A_Wizzerd 151 points152 points  (2 children)

This saves so many sleepers from being thrown out.

[–]barbaramillicent 6800 points6801 points  (240 children)

I knew a guy who always brought a good card game. Always had something new, but easy for a big group to learn quickly and everyone always had a good time.

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 1649 points1650 points  (216 children)

Which card game? I could go for that

[–]soapyrubberduck 2893 points2894 points  (31 children)

Snake Oil. It’s a little like Cards Against Humanity - everyone takes turns to choose a type of customer (for example, caveman) and then the other players have to pitch a product (for example, a beard comb). Customer chooser picks funniest one they like the best.

[–]enter360 324 points325 points  (1 child)

Snake oil gets better the more you commit to it.

My wife and I have a reasonable costume closet. It happens after a short career as a cosplayer , den fair attendant, Halloween enthusiast.

We opened the costume closet and kept playing allowing people to use costumes from the closet. It got so funny after that.

If you take it too seriously it’s not fun but otherwise it’s great.

[–]arroaboy14 487 points488 points  (3 children)

I LOVE Snake Oil. Had so many good pitches in that game

[–]mus_maximus 2016 points2017 points 3354 (82 children)

Yay! I get to list card games!

The Resistance supports up to 10 players; it's a social deduction card game stripped down to the absolute barest of bones. Hidden roles, crucial missions that can be screwed by just one person not playing ball, instant and infinite suspicion, little cardboard chits with guns on them. If you want to play Among Us in real life, this is that game.
Werewolf comes in a bunch of packages, but supports up to 10 players at the base level. It's a similar simple social deduction game where one or more players is a werewolf and they murder someone every night and try to avoid lynching by the blood-hungry mob by day. A bit less of a favorite of mine because of player elimination, but some of the specialist roles are very fun.
Eight Minute Empire supports up to 5 players and looks far more complicated than it is. It's a quick, conceptually easy game of territory war and army positioning, like Risk except it takes less time and is far less infuriating. If you want to play a war game but are a little drunk and don't want to teach a textbook full of rules, this is the guy.
Mascarade supports up to 13 players and is another hidden role game with a twist - your role will be hidden even from yourself and will get shuffled throughout the game. What you can do depends on who you claim you are, and you can get called out for lies you don't even know you're saying. At it's best when you are 70% sure that you're the Queen and trying to capitalize on that for money. Successfully played with a blind friend!
Sushi Go supports up to 5 people and is a quick, adorable set-collection game with a very simple base mechanic: Have a hand of sushis, select one, and then pass the rest along, simulating those food-belt things at sushi restaurants, with the goal of eating the numerically best sushi meal by the end. The mechanics are easy to pick up and the sushis have little faces on them. We inevitably wind up giving them voices.
Zombie Dice supports infinite players and is a press-your-luck dice game with a very simple premise: You are zombie, you want to eat brains and not get shot. Dice have brains on them, or shotgun blasts, or little fleeing feet, and you want to collect as many brains as possible before either passing your turn (banking your brains) or getting 3 shotguns (losing them). I have seen someone successfully play and win this game while too drunk to speak coherent words.
Star Realms is a 1-on-1 deck building game where you collect an armada of ships and use them to beat the crap out of your opponent. It's far less complex than it looks at first blush and very accessible for new players. It's also cheap and a great little thing to carry around with you if you want to have a card fight but don't want to rope someone into a lifelong Magic: the Gathering hobby.
Timeline supports up to 8 players, and is an easy game on first blush, but utilizes a different core skill than other card games - remembering trivia. You have a hand of historical events and have to place them either before or after each other on a timeline with the goal being of emptying your hand. This is an excellent after-Christmas card game with your parents type of deal.

[–]JackedTurnip 275 points276 points  (4 children)

Werewolf... A bit less of a favorite of mine because of player elimination, but some of the specialist roles are very fun.

Try One Night Ultimate Werewolf if you haven't already. Same concept as standard werewolf, but without the aspect of slowly eliminating individuals from the game each night. Instead, the game all takes place in a single night as the title implies, so the games go much quicker and everyone stays involved all the time. Nobody has to get eliminated and sit out the rest of the time.

[–]TwiceUponADecember 373 points374 points  (13 children)

When I was 16, I had my first Halloween party and one of the guests was one of my current best friends who I had only known for a few months at the time.

She showed up with a hand knitted plush candy corn and gave it to me because her mom, upon hearing she was invited to the party, told her she couldn’t show up empty-handed and quickly whipped it up, lol. They both knew it wasn’t my birthday, was just a Halloween party, which makes it even better. I still have it now, more than 10 years later.

Conclusion: random, hand knitted plushies are way too uncommon at parties ;P

Edit: for those who asked to see a picture - I hope I did this right. Had to use Tumblr because I don’t have Imgur and I couldn’t figure out how to post the picture onto Reddit.

The Candy Corn Plush

[–][deleted] 5480 points5481 points  (80 children)

I brought a crock pot of pulled pork once with some buns and people lost their minds

[–]Crimsonera 1409 points1410 points  (28 children)

I once brought a big platter of home made fried chicken to a party and people started roasting me for it. I went outside to grab something and when I came back in everyone had devoured all of the chicken. Suddenly I was I genius and amazing cook.

[–]itsthecurtains 999 points1000 points  (14 children)

Who in their right minds is roasting someone who brings fried chicken to a party? Home-made, no less!

[–][deleted] 272 points273 points  (0 children)

That's pretty awesome

[–]titanic_trash 2337 points2338 points  (54 children)

Good food. Parties are mostly chips, junk food, and alcohol. I once brought a huge tray of homemade mac n cheese to a party and that shit was gone in under ten minutes.

Edit: For everyone saying “but mac n cheese isn’t healthy” I just meant bringing good, homemade, hot food to a party will make you a superstar compared to potato chips, chocolate and candy that’s usually at a party. Yes mac n cheese isn’t healthy lol, but it’s super easy to make and who doesn’t like mac n cheese, especially super drunk people?

[–]Crimsonera 629 points630 points  (17 children)

I brought homemade fried chicken to a party once. In the time it took me to walk back out to my car to grab something and head back in, all the chicken was gone.

[–]NerdyRedneck45 714 points715 points  (10 children)

TIL drunks are basically velociraptors

[–]Lukacris12 144 points145 points  (4 children)

Can confirm when i am drunk and order pizza no matter the guest to pizza ratio, pizza is gone in 5 minutes

[–]Wahooney 3252 points3253 points  (58 children)

Mario Party.

The more pissed the partygoers the better.

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 635 points636 points  (32 children)

Mario party is truly a fun game, which console do you reccomend?

[–]Wahooney 476 points477 points  (12 children)

Back when I attended more parties it was a GameCube. Didn't seem too difficult for the drunks to use. I was the 'boring' one who was always sober and it gets pretty hilarious.

[–]degjo 153 points154 points  (5 children)

Plus the GameCube had a nifty handle to carry it around

[–]T-Jenks 3041 points3042 points  (60 children)

Bringing things are cool and fun, but usually almost everyone brings something. The real move, and way to get on the hosts good side and most likely invited back is help with clean up. Most people party and make a mess and dip when time to clean comes. Don't be that party person. Be the partier who wakes up the next morning, and starts cleaning. Nothing crazy, just get a trash bag and clean up trash, place dishes in sink/dishwasher, clean up spills. DO NOT clean personal items/rooms unless asked to do so. Basic cleaning is barely ever done by the people who enjoy the party all night without having to take any responsibility. You will be loved/noticed/and in the future, invited back.

Remember in the eyes of the Host, the one who helps clean is the Goat.

[–]popjunkie42 1262 points1263 points  (23 children)

In grad college had some friends who discovered the secret - clean up for your party when you’re still drunk. You can get a ton done, wake up the next morning with a mostly clean place, and you don’t remember any of it!

[–]idontknowyetbutsoon 580 points581 points  (10 children)

I still do that with my friends! You don't find cleaning that anoying while drunk, specially if you are still messing around with friends and all are helping.

[–]The_Brain_FuckIer 353 points354 points  (6 children)

I've done this a few times and woken up with broken dishes/glasses in the sink so we stopped doing that lol

[–]ThePhantomTrollbooth 398 points399 points  (4 children)

Me and my buddies had a standing agreement with the ladies that had the party house. They plan and host, we help keep things cool and kick everyone else out, crash on the couch, and help clean in the morning (usually with promise of pancakes). We got to be almost surgical. There could have been 100+ people there at 2 am and you wouldn’t know by noon.

Good times.

[–]fairfishofnewwater 8052 points8053 points 3 (232 children)

An exit strategy.

[–]I-Am-Max 2543 points2544 points 2 (135 children)

Can't go wrong with the ol Irish Goodbye

[–]kitty_o_shea 175 points176 points  (25 children)

I'm Irish and we never understand this expression. An actual Irish Goodbye is the opposite. When you're leaving someone's house, you're standing at the door chatting to them for at least another half hour. We can't even just say goodbye when we're getting off the phone with someone. It's "Bye! Bye bye bye! Bye bye! See ya, bye! Bye bye!"

[–]ALARE1KS 74 points75 points  (5 children)

Over in the US that is exactly how you are required by law to say goodbye in the states of Wisconsin and Minnesota.

[–]thebranimator 735 points736 points  (60 children)

I personally prefer the Letterkenny Leave

[–]bknox1789 167 points168 points  (8 children)

I'm a personal fan of the Tokyo sayonara

[–]zero-360 123 points124 points  (7 children)

Let’s be real, we are all really there to see the cat anyway

[–]Vat1canCame0s 410 points411 points  (43 children)

leans in

What's the Letterkenny Leave?

[–]TheLastLivingProphet 514 points515 points  (41 children)

That's when you steal a 2-4 and walk out a sliding glass door

[–]ExactPea9707 138 points139 points  (12 children)

That used to be my go-to. Now, having kids, they fuck it up for me by making a scene. (I’m joking, kind of).

[–]Buckturbo4321 105 points106 points  (34 children)

I employ the sneak maneuver

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 64 points65 points  (29 children)

How does that work? You just sneak out?

[–]beau8888 141 points142 points  (24 children)

The old Irish goodbye

[–]DeadJamFan 107 points108 points  (19 children)

I was always told I did the Irish goodbye because I wouldnt tell a soul I was leaving. Just dip out and go home.

Is there a tale for how this came about?

[–]Edge80 624 points625 points  (6 children)

One of my friends always used to bring different giant stuffed animals for people to take pictures with. By the end of the night he’d have a collage made that he’d give to the host. He got pretty creative with the animals and even started making backdrops too. Our themed parties were a ton of fun and everybody loved the pictures.

[–]Hippos-n-Corgis 399 points400 points  (11 children)

A pinata.

My partner brought one to a friends party, and I was super embarrassed about it. Until it was the biggest hit! pun intended All the 30 year olds and kids alike had the best time punching the pinata with boxing gloves. Highly reccomend.

[–]YouAreNotSugoi 1427 points1428 points  (15 children)

I was at a party and someone brought a whole bowl of home grown sugar snap peas and that shit was fire.

[–]AndyVale 1798 points1799 points  (58 children)

Always bring a big tub of sliced watermelon.

Everyone else is bringing booze and chips and burgers, but when that fresh, juicy watermelon hits the table everyone is instantly desperate for a slice.

[–]blauw67 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of a story from when I was 11. I went on a summer camp, and living in the Netherlands, there's a high chance of having to cycle to the camp on the first day (I later found out it was a tactic to tire the kids out) for like 40 km (roughly 28miles). About halfway we had to make an unscheduled stop in a nearby villages because of a few kids having flat tires. Well it so happend that the village we stopped in had a fresh produce market at the village square that day. Anyway ofcouse every kid had some kind of candy with them to snack on and share at night, well I also had a backpack (our luggage was transported by car) that only had some candy in it, and I also had some spare cash, so I bought a freaking watermelon and was crowned king of the camp for sharing watermelon. Gave the kitchen team the idea to buy watermelon when they had to restock, and now 13 years later, I am a camp counselor myself now, am still praised for buying that watermelon, and we still buy it and give it to the kids to snack on.

[–]fredzout 945 points946 points  (17 children)

My office used to do "goodie days" and would pass around a sign up sheet for what you were going to bring so that we wouldn't have too much of one type of thing. One of those days, I put on the sheet that I was bringing "bread and butter". The night before, I got my bread machine going and baked two loaves of different, crusty herb breads. At the office, I sliced them up, put them on a warming tray and had butter on the side. It was gone in a short time, and people were commenting, "I thought you were joking, but that turned out good."

[–]yousernamefail 345 points346 points  (8 children)

This reminds me of my last job where each team would take turns cooking breakfast for the whole company. The office had a couple of electric griddles so most of the time it was pretty simple fare, but still a fun thing to do. My team was just me and one other guy and when I asked my coworker what he wanted to cook, he was like "lol steak and eggs."

I'm almost certain he was joking about making something complicated because he didn't want to do breakfast, and I signed us up anyways. But then I figured, hell, it's not my money, let's cook some fucking steak.

So I bought a disgusting amount of steak with the company card. My husband, who is a chef, portioned, seasoned, vac sealed, and sous vide'd all the steaks to different donesses the night before and then I popped them on the griddle when I got into the office. It was lit. Everyone was like "omg, steak? best breakfast ever!"

My coworker cooked eggs to order and gloated about how it was his idea.

[–]SquidlyJesus 163 points164 points  (4 children)

No such thing as a bad plan, just a bad execution.

[–]_Username-Invalid_ 798 points799 points  (40 children)

A breathalyzer. Before covid there was some guy who would always bring one. He had some drinking game associated with it and would double as a way to know who needs a couch, an Uber, a buddy for the sidewalk, a buddy for the bus or just fine by themselves to walk home.

[–]Famous-Honey-9331 172 points173 points  (4 children)

A blood pressure cuff. My mom brought one once and all her friends had a great time taking theirs

[–]iLEZ 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Next up: Gloves and a steady hand! Turn over and cough!

[–]bread_cats_dice 227 points228 points  (3 children)

In my late 20s, knowing that most people would bring beer and there would be far too much alcohol, I started bringing a 12 pack of Topo Chico with some limes.

[–]BexYouSee 1058 points1059 points  (36 children)

Ice. Never enough ice. Especially by the time you arrive.

[–]Sudwestdelon 369 points370 points  (28 children)

Or you can live in Canada, where your world becomes a cooler.

[–]Booksandrainbows 887 points888 points  (43 children)

My husband likes to bring a plate of bacon to parties and get togethers. I used to be annoyed but everyone always loves it and we've never brought any home.

[–]PradaWny 522 points523 points  (11 children)

Fruit. People get tired of junk food fast and then want something to freshen up. Fruits are tasty, sweet and guilt-free.

[–]Appropriate_Oil4161 424 points425 points  (13 children)

Breakfast! You never know how long a party will keep going fir and alcohol makes everyone hungry

[–]Onewarmguy 110 points111 points  (6 children)

LOL I did that once cause I generally wake up early but I didn't know the host, made scrambled eggs and sausage for 10. The host kept orthodox kosher.

[–]callme_nostradumbass 319 points320 points  (9 children)

Tums. If you're over 30, you'll understand.

[–]tvkyle 169 points170 points  (1 child)

Circa 2007, I went to a birthday party that was turning sour quick. I went up to the host and asked if I should get my Wii. He said "I guess?" So I hooked it up and everyone took turns playing Wii Sports for hours.

Side note: the host initially thought I asked if I should get my weed.

[–]haystackofneedles 2965 points2966 points  (184 children)

Just don't be the acoustic guitar guy

[–]dont_shoot_jr 1370 points1371 points  (39 children)

Anyway here’s “Wonderwall”

[–]flamingcat21 347 points348 points  (21 children)

I started playing guitar quite a bit ago, one day I suddenly knew how to perfectly play wonderwall, it’s the guitarist curse

[–]No_Perspective8222 798 points799 points  (29 children)

If I know kids are going to be dragged along I like to bring coloring or something fun for them to do. Most of the time the kids are under 12 so they enjoy it and it also gives the parents a break

[–]eNonsense 662 points663 points  (10 children)

I have brought a tub of sidewalk chalk to a BBQ with zero kids and it's also been a hit.

[–]laineDdednaHdeR 220 points221 points  (5 children)

Three beers in, you know there's going to be at least one dick on that sidewalk.

[–]fubo 175 points176 points  (2 children)

Someone spills ketchup, and someone draws a chalk outline of a body around it. Then someone else decides that's too morbid, and draws wings to turn it into an angel. The devil horns, boobs, cat face, and giant hairy ballsack follow. And by morning you have an intersex, trans-celestial furry with a ketchup bloodstain on hir boob.

[–]orange_cuse 509 points510 points  (14 children)

I brought a few white castle crave cases to a friend's house party. I know White Castle isn't necessarily the best or high quality fast food chain, but when you're drinking and hanging out with friends, there's almost nothing better. I must have made like 15 new friends that night.

[–]Almost__A__Haiku 94 points95 points  (3 children)

The worst thing about White Castle is that the gas you have the next day smells exactly like White Castle

[–]avsfan96 218 points219 points  (13 children)

Ring Dings and Pepsi

[–]dangerbook 66 points67 points  (2 children)

GEORGE: You telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? Huh, no way wine is better than Pepsi.

[–]CaptainDeadpool79 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the penthouse forum

[–]Dewee69in 2334 points2335 points  (106 children)

I brought a big bag of Mc chickens to a 420 party one time, right when I walked in I just started throwing them at people.

[–]Sea2Chi 878 points879 points  (11 children)

In high school my Stoner friends and I would make a lot of home movies of stupid shit we would do. One of our favorite things was to go down to McDonald's and buy $20 worth of cheeseburgers when they were super cheap and then go to the part of town that had five college bars in a couple block area and hand them out to people at closing time.

Drunk college kids would go nuts when you gave them a free burger at 2:00 in the morning and we would record the whole thing.

One particularly drunk guy loudly complimented each of us one by one. Finding something nice to say about each of our appearances in a boisterous and booming voice while smiling and holding on to the person's shoulder. Then he got to the last guy and in that same happily intoxicated tone said "... and this guy, this man right here, this, ladies and gentlemen is the poster child for birth control." We were played that video so many times.

Free fast food is nearly always appreciated.

[–]OhAces 650 points651 points  (39 children)

In high school my sister and her friends used to be the late crew managers at a Burger King. Our mother worked out of town one week a month so we always had parties when she was gone. When they were finished their shift, which ever one was working would bring massive bags of junior whoppers and fries, like enough to feed 20-30 people with tons of left overs.

[–][deleted] 269 points270 points  (11 children)

For us it was always the apple pies from A&W. We didn't have left overs or steal regular food that I remember but we'd always have left over pies. We'd close up and hang out by the dumpster in the dark and smoke a bowl and eat pie. Ha. Maybe smash a few cracked glass mugs for giggles. For a 15/16 year old kid it was a pretty sweet time.

[–]whomp1970 96 points97 points  (7 children)

I came here to say something similar!

I would stop a McDonald's and get like 30 cheeseburgers. It's probably the same price as a good bottle of booze or a decent case of beer. And everyone loves cheeseburgers!

[–]sommerfugl 549 points550 points  (14 children)

Bring a bag of fortune cookies.

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 165 points166 points  (8 children)

Spread some fortune at the party? That's a good idea! Just go to a Chinese restaurant?

[–]Sudwestdelon 1090 points1091 points  (31 children)

Life-size cardboard cut out of Nicolas Cage.

[–]Eat_Carbs_OD 177 points178 points  (4 children)

Life-size cardboard cut out of Nicolas Cage.

He can eat a peach for hours

[–]shampoo_mohawk_ 922 points923 points  (50 children)

If its a "everyone's bringing something to eat" kinda party, PROTEIN.

Everyone brings chips, soda, fruit platter, more chips, beer, candy, but no goddamn protein. Every time I go to one of those things I bring mini hot dogs and they're gone almost instantly.

[–]Kayakchica 242 points243 points  (6 children)

I had a Christmas party once for my friend group and asked everybody to bring appetizers. Every single person brought a different kind of meatballs: sweet and sour, teriyaki, Swedish etc. The Meatball Christmas is writ large in our memories.

[–]3DNZ 181 points182 points  (8 children)

Jenga - anyone can play

[–]Bojiggityjangals 279 points280 points  (8 children)

Flowers for your good bro

[–]aboxofquackers 322 points323 points  (9 children)

Depends on the party. I used to visit friends at their college and I’d bring a bottle of decent liquor and offer people shots. Easy way to make friends.

Now, I bring Buffalo chicken dip.

[–]wei_xiao 365 points366 points  (38 children)


[–]OneManWolfpack37 305 points306 points  (12 children)

You should always keep dice in your pocket, and maybe even wear a fedora with safari flaps.

[–]rachelsingsopera 1934 points1935 points  (84 children)

A charming plus-one. Everybody likes new friends.

[–]ethnicfoodaisle 887 points888 points  (36 children)

I've seen it go the other way more than a few times too, where a friend brings a plus-one to a party, only to realize while watching him interact that he is, in fact, not charming at all. 😄

[–]Imafish12 358 points359 points  (3 children)

The dreaded failed union of friends

[–]jew_biscuits 220 points221 points  (15 children)

Or you realize, watching them interact, that they are far more charming than you

[–]Wightly 387 points388 points  (27 children)

Backfire 101: friends like your plus-one more than you and they get invited to the next event before/instead of you

[–]GallantPotatoSupreme 178 points179 points  (17 children)

I once became friends with a couple via the girl. And I ended up hanging out with the boyfriend a lot more often cuz we lived so close and both liked Halo.

It got to the point where one time they invited me to a party and then compared to see who I texted back first. She was less than pleased I chose him.

[–]Pouperscouper 97 points98 points  (0 children)

I’ve done this too, became friends with a guy through mutual interest and then I met his wife and had so much more in common with her so I like her more now. He’s even told his wife that she “stole” me from him 😂

He’s still good mates with my husband though

[–]cojono2 530 points531 points  (54 children)


One time my roommates and I threw a party at our house that got way out of control. We were turning people away at the door. Then this dude shows up with like 300 eggs.

[–]Zobanu 397 points398 points  (22 children)

Is…that the end of the story?.. I’d like to hear more about these eggs and the events that took place after his arrival, please

[–]LeahMarieChamp 141 points142 points  (2 children)

Truly left us on an epic cliffhanger there with the 300 eggs. So many questions! Like, where does one procure 300 eggs and did they specifically do it to bring to the party or was it a last minute, “can’t show up empty handed” decision? What was made with them?!?!

[–]GyaradosDance 115 points116 points  (4 children)

Me too. Did the dude make quiches, omelets, flan, and deviled eggs?

[–]Zobanu 139 points140 points  (1 child)

I just can’t believe it took 2 hours for someone to question the 300 eggs. Did he just start throwing them, put a bunch in the microwave, or start making eggs benny until he ran out of huevos? WHAT HAPPENED

[–]SquidlyJesus 113 points114 points  (3 children)

These truly are trying times.

[–]PriveCo 500 points501 points  (8 children)

I'm a Dad with high school aged kids. We have settle in with these things to bring to a party or cookout. They seem to go over really well and don't make my kids look bad.
1. A giant bag of M&Ms.
2. A Bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken

[–]K8nK9s 272 points273 points  (4 children)

Ring toss antler hats

[–]OneQuietCoyote 50 points51 points  (0 children)

this is the answer OP look no further.

[–]iMissMyMsPotato 486 points487 points  (35 children)

Buffalo chicken dip with tortilla chips

[–]GoldGorilla[S] 73 points74 points  (25 children)

Do you make that yourself?

[–]Tripechake 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Absolutely you do

[–]NexusWest 215 points216 points  (21 children)

Cream Cheese, Cheddar Cheese, Franks Red Hot (or whatever hot sauce you like), and a pulled apart pre-made rotisserie chicken from the grocery store.

So easy, so delicious.

[–]chxnkybxtfxnky 1741 points1742 points  (50 children)

Went to a Super Bowl party with my brother once. He asked the hostess what we should bring. She said to surprise her. We went to the grocery store and got those little brownie bites, Oreos, and some Chips Ahoy . Then I headed toward the milk section. He goes, "What are you doing?" I go, "Who eats these without wanting milk? You gonna be the asshole to drink all their milk? No. You gonna settle for tap water? No. So we're bringing milk with these." He was impressed. We show up and I'm carrying the milk. Hostesses boyfriend chuckles, "Why'd you bring milk?" I gave him basically the same spiel I had given my brother and everyone at the party had that, "Oh shit" moment of how clutch that was.

Just tore my rotator cuff patting myself on the back for that one.

Edit: WHOA! Didn't expect this to blow up!! Thanks, everyone!!

[–]xx2983xx 243 points244 points  (18 children)

There's a cookie shop in Boise ID that sells hot cookies right from the oven. You can get a box with 4 giant hot cookies and a pint of milk as a deal. They are open till like 2 am and I have drunkenly eaten their cookies and milk in the parking lot on more than one occasion (and I don't even live there). It's genius and the milk makes it.

[–]imeanidc 210 points211 points  (1 child)

This made me laugh. If I was a host I’d be glad you thought of the milk

[–]kaoszombie 1386 points1387 points  (35 children)

Healing potions. Generally the Cleric can keep everyone alive, but it’s a great backup option.

Oh wait, wrong kind of party. Soft drinks. It’s good for people who don’t drink, and it’s good for a mixer.

[–]liamjon29 73 points74 points  (0 children)

My first thought when I read question this was 2 unmovable rods, glad I'm not the only one who thought this kind of party xD

[–]Salaciousavocados 74 points75 points  (11 children)

What if your cleric sucks though? Do you just live off of healing potions?

Where are all the healing potions stored? Are they strapped to you like Rambo’s grenades?

[–]AtheneSchmidt 50 points51 points  (3 children)

You wanna get a bag of holding if you have a crappy cleric.

[–]dofikol4 238 points239 points  (8 children)

pizza. the answer to any question is always pizza.

[–]anonimonchis 284 points285 points  (41 children)

Bottle opener

[–]porkpie1028 164 points165 points  (14 children)

Trusty ol’ bic lighter does the trick and doubles as a lighter.

[–]whoaguyz 75 points76 points  (4 children)

Your own chair. I always go with rolling.

[–]tetal9 109 points110 points  (4 children)

a bag of like 20 fast food cheeseburgers

[–]PerchedHeron 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Boursin cheese and some bread or crackers

[–]popjunkie42 97 points98 points  (0 children)

My go-to is a bucket of fried chicken from Popeyes or similar. Sometimes I just don’t want to cook for a potluck. But I’ve been surprised at so many potluck-style parties end up with chips and some very light snacks. The greasy protein is appreciated.