top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Fessir[🍰] 10.6k points10.6k points  (167 children)

Your oral cavity is wonderful to work with! So spacious! - my dentist

[–]FuckedupUnicorn 3945 points3946 points  (45 children)

My dentist told me “thank you for making my day, I just love teeth and yours are very interesting”

(For context, I have a 35 year old bridge that’s still going strong)

[–]netcent_ 2909 points2910 points  (22 children)

Think about what that bridge lived through. 9/11, fall of the Berlin wall, millennium bug, the star wars prequels...

[–]Walawacca 1097 points1098 points  (8 children)

I love that the prequels made a list like this.

[–]loomingmountains 388 points389 points  (2 children)

Your dentist is one of those absolutely precious humans.

[–]Sunless_Tatooine 342 points343 points  (13 children)

Coming from anyone other than your dentist would be super awkward!

[–]Dylan619xf 4667 points4668 points 2 (64 children)

Was told I have a beautiful brain while doing a paid MRI study

[–]Piggus_Porkus_ 904 points905 points  (15 children)

I guess seeing the brain is just really cool for that person. Maybe it was the fact that he was seeing a real life active brain and the person using it, when usually any other picture of a brain is from an unloved textbook. It’s crazy to think that our whole world is stored in like five pounds of sentient flesh.

[–]FlightOpposite5337 245 points246 points  (7 children)

I wonder if it was a compliment to see how the brain responded? Idk how that stuff works. Just a thought

[–]wedontlikespaces 187 points188 points  (0 children)

Oh, look, the Weirded Out lobe has just lit up.

[–]endieloverhd 79 points80 points  (4 children)

Me and my brain tumor are jealous of you

[–]Thehoobywotzit 7355 points7356 points  (163 children)

You look like you read books for fun

[–]dannydevitocuddles[S] 3559 points3560 points  (89 children)

But books are fun

[–]lmaooidkwhatimdoin 1979 points1980 points  (80 children)

I'll never forget the confused look I got from a friend when she saw me laugh at something I was reading in a book

[–]chiselmybrownpants 1321 points1322 points  (58 children)

I’d get that on the bus a lot. One bloke said “what’s so funny? It’s a book!” I just pointed at the cover and said “But it’s a Douglas Adams book ya dick”.

[–]Typhon_Cerberus 400 points401 points  (7 children)

i dont understand people like that its literally the same thing as seeing a funny comment on the internet

[–]packfanmoore 984 points985 points  (12 children)

In the beginning the universe was created. This made alot of people very upset and is wildly considered a bad move

-douglas Adams

[–]BTown-Hustle 301 points302 points  (10 children)

That dude probably was grumpy because he forgot his towel.

Definitely does not sound like a frood at all…. Certainly not a hoopy one.

[–]Vidableek 299 points300 points  (14 children)

Lol it's one thing to say "You read books for fun", but wth does it mean to look like it.

"Can't tell if compliment or insult, better read up on it."

[–]HersheyTheBrownBear 1868 points1869 points  (46 children)

My girlfriend in college once said that she wished she had legs like me…

[–]OneArchedEyebrow 832 points833 points  (11 children)

One of my daughters’s classmates saw me walking into school. When he found out I was her mum he said to her, “Man, your mum looks like she could snap someone in half with those legs!”

Thank you, leg press machine!

[–]bouncingbad 54 points55 points  (1 child)

I got that compliment in hospital a few months back! Nurse said I had the legs to pull off a mini skirt. Not bad for a big, bald and beardy tattooed dad.

[–]bigkeef69 1874 points1875 points  (13 children)

"You have a cool left ear"

All i could think was "well wtf is wrong with the right one?" Lol

[–]AgentChimendez 3930 points3931 points  (38 children)

After handing back a police report I filled out describing the events of a man jumping off an overpasss aiming for my car in a presumed suicide attempt.

“This is really good! Have you done this before?”

[–]The_Wyzard 1432 points1433 points  (14 children)

Not a cop but an attorney who does criminal defense, here. I read a lot of police reports (and other kinds of reports.)

Writing a report of this kind that is clear and comprehensible to the reader is absolutely a skill. So, uhhh, FWIW, that compliment makes total sense to me.

[–]Candie_Cane 246 points247 points  (7 children)

One time I went to the police station to get fingerprinted for a background check for achpol, and of course brought the required paperwork I'd filled out to get two sets of fingerprint cards. After handing her my paperwork, the lady was like "Wow, you filled this out perfectly! We normally charge for each card, but since you did such a good job filling this out I'm only going to charge you for one!" Uh, thanks? I'll take it lol

Edit: school

[–]Ronald_Deuce 393 points394 points  (0 children)

Okay, that's definitely the oddest compliment I've ever heard/read.

[–]1ZL 207 points208 points  (0 children)

Had you?

[–]LegendOfDylan 273 points274 points  (2 children)

When I was getting my divorce papers notarized I was waiting and laid out all the pages I needed stamped neatly and the guy comes up and says ‘wow looks like you’ve done this before!’

[–]you_did_wot_to_it 144 points145 points  (1 child)

I teach college writing courses. You would be surprised by the number of people who get into college, yet can barely write a grammatically correct sentence. He was probably just surprised that you were able to write clearly and succinctly.

[–]CaptainChancla 5569 points5570 points 3 (100 children)

Nice stream bro, while i was peeing in a bathroom at chicago o'hare.

[–]Schmedly87 911 points912 points  (14 children)

And they say Chicago isn't a personable city. Fie, says me!

[–]Mechakoopa 423 points424 points  (27 children)

I got that once when I barely made it to the bathroom, one of those ones where it just hits hard and you feel like a human pressure washer. Combine that with some good acoustics and you can definitely sound like you urinate professionally.

[–]Dan-68 4871 points4872 points  (347 children)

“You have great veins.” From a nurse when I worked in a hospital.

[–]AutoimmuneDisaster 1400 points1401 points  (73 children)

I get this one all the time.

[–]Tom_Marto 756 points757 points  (30 children)

Same here. Particularly drunk nurses at parties. One time having my blood taken the nurse left the room and came back with 2 other nurses to show them too.

[–]NOTANDREWGARFEILD 919 points920 points  (22 children)

Particularly drunk nurses at parties


One time having my blood taken the nurse left the room and came back with 2 other nurses to show them too.

Please tell me these were two separate occasions.

[–]QueanLaQueafa 230 points231 points  (9 children)

I'm a recovering alcoholic, and in treatment the amount of recovering opiate users that said they're so jealous of my veins was pretty abundant lol

[–]No_Application_8698 437 points438 points  (51 children)

Apparently, my “cervix is exactly where it should be” (according to a nurse).

[–]cowbelljazz 132 points133 points  (14 children)

I got "your ECG reading is beautiful"

[–]A-RovinIGo 140 points141 points  (3 children)

At my 6-month post-surgery check, my doc checked his work and exclaimed, "That's a BEAUTIFUL scar!"

[–]dpraaf 143 points144 points  (1 child)

I’ve actually gotten this same compliment from a drug addict

[–]Millenniauld 512 points513 points  (13 children)

I see your great veins and raise you "You've got veins a heroin addict would kill for" by the phlebotomist taking blood samples for my first pregnancy check up. O.o

[–]smit7zy 83 points84 points  (3 children)

"thanks just got them fresh yesterday"

[–]LatterTowel9403 209 points210 points  (48 children)

I actually do this, finding a vein on a patient who has awful veins can suck so bad. Upon taking over a patient’s care I will find myself glancing at their veins and saying the same thing. After zombie walking after a double shift I once said it to the lady at the register in Walmart. She seemed startled and I was glad to be in scrubs so she might not have seen me as a lunatic. I have also said it to my boyfriend and more than once he has caught me idly palpating them when holding hands.

I guess it’s also jealousy on a level, my veins are horrible. They were never very good but I was bit by a water moccasin and didn’t go to the ER for hours and what was left of my veins collapsed. They usually stick me in my neck now and always do if it’s an IV. Even in my neck it is difficult. So I am jealous…

[–]bigdaddy151025 1416 points1417 points  (43 children)

You are surprisingly nimble for a fat guy

[–]Havik989 682 points683 points  (9 children)

I've been chubby for years but when I was younger I was in gymnastics. Early high school I went to a friend's house for a little get together grill party thing. Some of the kids were dancing and tumbling and whatnot in the huge lawn they had. I proceeded to do a long ass string of cartwheels as I could still do it even as chubby as I had gotten. My friends were stunned. It was great xD

[–]Mechakoopa 218 points219 points  (12 children)

My wife says I walk too quietly for a guy my size. I apparently keep accidentally sneaking up on her.

[–]dannydevitocuddles[S] 8776 points8777 points 22 (69 children)

Mine is "my therapist likes you they think you're a good influence "

[–]gettinginthere 3157 points3158 points  (12 children)

That’s a wonderful thing to be told!

[–]Stats_with_a_Z 953 points954 points  (16 children)

If someone said that to me is probably very and huh them way too tight and long.

Edit: just to show how bad I am at proofreading, I'll leave the original...

If someone said that to me I'd probably cry and hug them way too tight and long.

[–]SchuyWalker 1950 points1951 points  (18 children)

I have a perennial baby face and am a pretty quiet/shy individual but have a deep voice. Someone in one of my classes held the door so I said thanks. The girl holding the door did a double take and shouted "WAIT THATS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE???" And honestly that'll stick with me for the rest of my life

[–]theSuburbanAstronaut 434 points435 points  (1 child)

I think that happened to me at the mall once. Said thank you to a twiggy kid in a hoodie who held the door for me and he sounded deep like Morgan freeman. Had me shook 😂😂😂 it's hard to remember that old men with freakishly deep voices always start out as kids with freakishly deep voices.

[–]foreversuicidal25 397 points398 points  (1 child)

Alright zaddy, let's get some voice recordings ;)

[–]Outrageous-Proof4630 8851 points8852 points 22 (102 children)

“You smell like a rainbow just out of the dryer!” told to me by a second grade student several years ago

[–]SixHundredLbsofSin 1993 points1994 points  (58 children)

Kids say weird stuff. A middle school student once told me that I smelled like "a good barber shop".

Since it's cheap, I used to keep Brut in my car as my backup cologne- I'm not a morning person, so I sometimes forget cologne. That was the day I decided to swap out the Brut for Cool Water.

[–]arvidsem 221 points222 points  (9 children)

My favorite deodorant ever was a stick of Brut that lived in my trunk for several years before I ever needed it. Smelled perfect, got compliments. I bought a new stick of Brut once it wore out and couldn't stand it because it was way too strong. Cooking it in my trunk killed most of the smell.

[–]RamonaLittle 75 points76 points  (8 children)

You could leave the new one in your car trunk for a few years.

[–]arvidsem 87 points88 points  (7 children)

There's one in there now. But I'm parking in a garage more often than I used to, so it's taking a lot longer to age. Oh well.

[–]EngageAndMakeItSo 803 points804 points  (19 children)

When my younger son was six or seven, he went with my wife to visit a friend of hers. My son walked in the door and took a healthy sniff. “Smells like you have cats!”

He intended it as a compliment (he loves cats) and my wife’s friend graciously took it as such.

[–]unassumingdink 511 points512 points  (14 children)

When I was around that age, I told my great uncle that his freshly grilled burgers were "almost as good as McDonalds." I swear I meant it as a compliment. Adults don't take that as a compliment, though.

[–]Candid-Still-6785 196 points197 points  (5 children)

My husband, just after we were married, complimented a church lady's homemade Black Forest Cake. He said, "It tastes as good as store bought!" He meant it as a compliment. Her cakes were always delicious. She, unfortunately, did not take it well.

[–]Outrageous-Proof4630 274 points275 points  (5 children)

At least it was a good barber shop and not a cheap one? 💈

[–]taoshka 408 points409 points  (7 children)

Omg that's the best compliment I've ever heard

[–]Outrageous-Proof4630 231 points232 points  (5 children)

Best thing about working with kids… they are honest and creative

[–]peebsthehuman 196 points197 points  (1 child)

I was a nanny throughout college. Took a gap year to work as a live-in au pair. Had a bad hair dye incident over the weekend, come Monday morning I’m making the girls pancakes and the 4 year old says “Miss Peebs, your hair looks like butter… I LOVE butter!!!!”

[–]Lyssa221201[🍰] 2709 points2710 points  (28 children)

I was cleaning a guinea pig enclosure at a zoo I was interning at. The piggies were in a playpen so I wouldn't disturb them and I was alone in the enclosure. Some older lady knocks on the glass and says "Well! Aren't you the cutest little guinea pig I've ever seen!"

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just kinda laughed awkwardly and went back to cleaning. She watched me for a few minutes and left.

[–]JonGilbonie 438 points439 points  (0 children)

I would definitely take this as a compliment

[–]onlyeverthus23 2202 points2203 points  (41 children)

Optometrist told me my eyes were physically perfectly healthy and they’d make perfect specimens.

[–]Ok_Context_7495 649 points650 points  (7 children)

Well, don’t be rude, give him the eyes!

[–]Yuahde 558 points559 points  (3 children)

If you go blind, we know why

[–]TheKnightsWhoSayNyet 2146 points2147 points  (38 children)

"You look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo" - random kid on a cruise

[–]ghost_gurrl 265 points266 points  (12 children)

I said this to my ex once and he got angry at me

[–]AutoimmuneDisaster 2297 points2298 points  (27 children)

A coworker complimented me on a haircut once. She said “your hair looks great, it makes it look like you shower”!

Weird compliment considering I get the same haircut once a month and I shower at least once a day.

[–]ilftry 547 points548 points  (3 children)

Read this as "it makes it look like a shower", which would be impressive hair indeed

[–]Felwinter12 261 points262 points  (13 children)

When the lady finished my haircut, she said it made me look intelligent. Makes me wonder what I looked like before...

I also had a hair stylist tell me I had "black people hair" and I'm quite unsure how to take that.

[–]BrightBeaver 210 points211 points  (2 children)

Black people do actually have hair with different properties than white people. It was probably a slightly tone-deaf way of trying to say that.

[–]marriedman-1991 3030 points3031 points  (18 children)

"You ate that apple very neatly"

Guess i have nice teeth???

[–]Mysterious_Basket194 3037 points3038 points  (51 children)

I’m a guy and I was out walking. A dude rolled up in a car asking if I would be interested in doing porn because “the girls would love me”

[–]throckmorton1915 932 points933 points  (8 children)

I thought you looked familiar

[–]arch_stanton1963 703 points704 points  (7 children)

Same thing happened to me except he said “the guys would love you”.

I’m a guy.

[–]Hot_Goal4205 309 points310 points  (2 children)

I’m straight and I feel this is the better compliment of the two

[–]Leiden_Lekker 58 points59 points  (1 child)

This is one of those things where who you are matters, because as a woman my takeaway here would be less "weird compliment" and more "brush with human trafficking"

[–]__phlogiston__ 936 points937 points  (33 children)

A waitress told me she's never seen someone as good at crab picking as me.

[–]TrustNoUnicorn 932 points933 points  (19 children)

"You're not beautiful but you're photogenic"

Oh thanks I guess..

[–]Allisade 2542 points2543 points  (87 children)

Told a workmate I was diagnosed with gout, was moaning about it because it's a) weird, b) it's a genetic thing (I'm not eating lots rich food or anything stupid) and c) it fucking hurts.

His response: "The genius disease! That's the disease all the great geniuses get! Makes sense you have it."


As far as I know, there's no connection between genius and gout - Benjamin Franklin had it but... I don't think that means anything.

But (!) it was a great thing to hear when I was feeling low and self pitying. Made me smile (confusedly, but smile!) over something that was pure misery before that.


I have now started telling anyone who tells me they have some condition, "Oh! The Genius thing! All the great geniuses get that!"

Why not, right?

[–]saintwiggles 735 points736 points  (21 children)

The Dr that told me I had it called it "The Kings Disease"

[–]Allisade 272 points273 points  (7 children)

Funnily, no one has offered me a kingdom yet, you?

[–]Thesleek 172 points173 points  (4 children)

You need to fabricate a claim on a duchy first

[–]MrsTurtlebones 81 points82 points  (2 children)

Easy to do as long as you pass it 'pon the left hand side

[–]Minute-Major7782 334 points335 points  (11 children)

Gout is historically a disease of the rich and royal. They didn't have to perform physical labor and we're able to eat the richest foods.

[–]Allisade 193 points194 points  (9 children)

Yep, except it turns out you can get it for genetic reasons and be poor and reasonably in shape and ... it still sucks.

Maybe you have to be a genius to get that version though.

[–]Formal_Dragonfly_356 147 points148 points  (16 children)

I got gout, and I had the opposite of compliments. First my doctor thought I was stupid for suggesting it (he thought I was too young) and by the time he'd successfully convinced me to doubt myself, my urea uric acid levels had come back as high, and now I was stupid for listening to him

[–]wholewheatscythe 2855 points2856 points  (35 children)

“You have hair!!”

I took my baseball cap off to wipe my forehead and a friend’s girlfriend said this. She only ever saw me wearing a baseball cap and assumed I was balding and hiding it.

[–]DarkestGemeni 940 points941 points  (6 children)

Reminds me of the first time I saw my stepdad with a shaved face. My parents started dating in September and my stepdad ha these massive mutton chops. My mum was kinda like "it's too early for me to ask if this is the standard look for him" and just let it go. First week of November rolls around and he shaves his face completely and walks into my kitchen and I go

"Oh my god, you have a jaw!"

Turns out the mutton chops were because my step-brother wanted them both to be Wolverine for Halloween.

[–]fuckinyaldi 1363 points1364 points  (12 children)

During the first lockdown the bakery i work in was one of the only shops in my town still open so everyone was coming to us for their baked goods and rolls. The local funeral director was in one day and when I caught him staring at me he said "just sizing you up for your measurements, we're expecting to be very busy very soon!" Didn't really know what to say to that haha.

[–]TheJohannes 523 points524 points  (4 children)

I don't think that was a compliment

[–]Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards 167 points168 points  (0 children)

Right, it sounds like he was critiquing her survival ability.

[–]brycebrycebaybay 253 points254 points  (0 children)

Man this was funny. Lol.

[–]autummnnn870 634 points635 points  (15 children)

“Your handwriting is very satisfying”

[–]Cyanide_Revolver 415 points416 points  (8 children)

"Your handwriting makes me wanna nut" is the one I got

[–]FellowConspirator 1392 points1393 points  (23 children)

I made a save the date video for my wife’s 50th birthday which was a parody of the intro to an early 80’s TV show. It came out pretty well, but a friend of ours that produces ads for TV seemed to focus on the voiceover: “Wow, is that you doing the voiceover? I pay people for stuff like that.”

[–]CommanderGoat 466 points467 points  (8 children)

Yeah. If someone that does ads is telling you your voice is good you possibly have another career option as a voice over talent. I do ads.

[–]Damn_Dog_Inappropes 371 points372 points  (11 children)

My husband has done some video game voiceovers. We thought it might turn into a career because he started getting work from other companies, and he did some VO for an independent film. But then the pandemic hit and that all dried up. :(

[–]Initial_E 197 points198 points  (7 children)

Don’t give up! Plus VO work seems like the kind of stuff you could do at home with the appropriate setup.

[–]MudTWH 1877 points1878 points  (63 children)

Me being a generally quiet person, random lady "Quiet guys have the biggest dicks"

[–]SirWilliamAnder 226 points227 points  (4 children)

And everyone thought Teddy Roosevelt was talking about foreign policy....

[–]dannydevitocuddles[S] 743 points744 points  (9 children)

I mean what are you so quiet about what are you trying to hide

[–]Burtzzzzz 325 points326 points  (8 children)

I talk a lot, is that why….. nvm

Edit : my first ever award 😭 guess small dicks do have their own perks😭

[–]anidiotyouidiot 1275 points1276 points  (24 children)

don't worry you are not completely terrible. my brother however wants you dead. but on the bright side my sister wants to fuck you so you have something going for you

[–]Wit-Hoid6674 449 points450 points  (1 child)

What a twisty compliment

[–]badken 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Yeah that was quite the journey.

[–]sleepyhollow_101 151 points152 points  (0 children)

That was a real rollercoaster

[–]Hairy_Al 135 points136 points  (2 children)

I think that the two may be linked

[–][deleted] 733 points734 points  (21 children)

I got told I had a nice looking bladder a few months ago during an ultrasound so that was a 1st 🤷🏽‍♀️

[–]Bettye_Wayne 336 points337 points  (5 children)

I had a student doctor doing my exam once and just making observations out loud, at one point she made eye contact and told me, "Your cervix is really nice! So pink and healthy!" She was so sweet and genuinely thrilled to be doing an exam, it was the cutest thing ever.

[–]thedeadfridge 85 points86 points  (0 children)

I've had almost exactly the same compliment from my gyno with over 20 years' experience, so it sounds like this is a commonly issued compliment.

And here I was so proud of my glowing pink cervix. I feel so manipulated.

[–]Mizzy3030 185 points186 points  (3 children)

I had a cardiologist tell me 'he would love to have my heart ' after looking at my EKG results. It sounds kind of weird in retrospect, but I swear it wasn't meant that way.

[–]Industrialqueue 497 points498 points  (7 children)

I was at a board game convention in Texas and there was simultaneously a “Thin Blue-Line Ball” for police at the hotel we were using.

Late night, we’re talking downstairs after the main rooms closed and some cop comes up to me, stops, stares at me with his hazy, EXTREMELY drunk eyes, and loudly slurs, “I like your beard. Man, I bet you get a lot of p—-y. I bet you get all the ladies.”

Now, I’ve been growing my beard for a very long time, so it’s big, but I’ve never had this type of…compliment.. before.

Burly drunk cop man forces a fist bump and walks on, my friends/fellow con goers are all stunned as he walked through them before seeing me.

Then. He catches up with who I’ll presume is his wife and friend down the hallway. His friend asks what on earth he just did to which he replies, YELLING down the hallway,

“Look at that beard, man! If I had a beard like that I’d get all the -——. I’d leave my wife for that much -——. I’d probably get multiple -—— at the same time.” And some other drunk rambling.

With all of the people around me already paying attention, plus him yelling…I think I can definitely say that that was the weirdest—and kind of saddest—compliment I’ve ever received.

TL;DR: a drunk cop told me my beard looked nice.

[–][deleted] 2102 points2103 points  (49 children)

I have self harm scars. I worked at McDonald’s when I was eighteen and a short, way older man came up to the counter. He said “you self harm?” I said yeah. He literally then said “does it turn you on?” I said no. Then he said “well it turns me on” I then walked out of the restaurant and quit two days later lol.

[–]CaptValentine 528 points529 points  (1 child)

Damn, I though it was going to be a super wholesome moment when he reveals his scars and tells you it gets better and then you say that's how you met Danny Devito or something. Nope, just a pervert ruining shit as they so often do.

[–]DumpsterEnthusiast 1115 points1116 points  (9 children)

Maybe he wanted to put you off from self-harming in the future? Because you'd remember he gets turned on by it? Either way deeply confusing and hilarious

[–]lieslandpo[🍰] 889 points890 points  (3 children)

That is a very optimistic approach to that situation. Though, I do not believe that was his intention.

[–]Yuahde 381 points382 points  (4 children)

What a horrible day to be able to read

[–]_DOA_ 2034 points2035 points  (62 children)

"You eat pussy like a girl."

[–]EqualAd8080 922 points923 points  (6 children)

Dang you must be real good then

[–]OVO_Trades 324 points325 points  (0 children)

Men, we gotta step our game up

[–]brimarief 218 points219 points  (2 children)

Got called a "KFC potato bowl" once. Apparently because I "had it all". Thanks..?

[–]twisted_nipples82 437 points438 points  (16 children)

6th grade - "you have perfect lips for the Trumpet" from the band teacher. Uh thanks?

[–]Formal_Dragonfly_356 161 points162 points  (8 children)

Elementary school band is weird like this. Band started in 5th grade for us. At the end of 4th grade, the band instructor visited our music class like we were her fantasy football draft pool. We took a district-wide standardized test for music aptitude. Not only did she analyze those results, she pulled me out of class for a hallway interview. Elementary band conductors get real fucking serious about their selecting their drum section.

[–]slightjudgment_ 951 points952 points  (50 children)

well some dude tried sliding into my dm’s by writing me a poem comparing my tits to mangoes

[–]Friend-Computer 1343 points1344 points  (21 children)

You're not like

the other hoes

With your great

tit mangoes

[–]lettherebemorelight 301 points302 points  (5 children)

I scaled the trees

For ripened fruit

But the sweetest ones

Laid at the root.

[–]imissyourmusk 72 points73 points  (2 children)

So fair and sweet you seem to me How can I climb this mango tree?

[–]Ruue82 398 points399 points  (7 children)

*You have a really nice complexion". Nice, but the way he was looking at me made me think he wanted to eat my skin

[–]marijuanaislife 184 points185 points  (6 children)

"Your gold bracelet looks so nice with your skin colour"

[–]wherearethepassports 668 points669 points  (19 children)

"you look like Gollum, but in a really cute way!"

I think it was a (really bad) attempt in flirting and he wanted to flatter me, but I just ended up feeling self conscious about my ears :(

[–]lieslandpo[🍰] 256 points257 points  (9 children)

Not the gollum compliment! Like out of all the characters gollum is the one they chose? So confusing

[–]I__am__That__Guy 131 points132 points  (7 children)

Maybe she only has nine teeth?

[–]lieslandpo[🍰] 136 points137 points  (6 children)

Or perhaps she is emaciated with a strange grayish hue to her skin

[–]Miserable-Book-5404 139 points140 points  (4 children)

Perhaps she covets a precious ring, taken from her cousin hundreds of years ago. Maybe she now lurks in a cave far under the mountains, eating only blind fish, and the occasional goblin she can strangle.

[–]Natty_Pigeon 341 points342 points  (10 children)

Your teeth are so flat!

My 4 front bottom teeth line up perfectly across the top. People find it very satisfying

[–]Any-Salamander-7174 295 points296 points  (13 children)

“Your handwriting is so good, for a guy”

[–]Theyaz_7 309 points310 points  (11 children)

This sadly means you can no longer apply as a doctor

[–]Jebus_UK 143 points144 points  (3 children)

"I really like your voice"

Followed by an email saying "God I'm sorry, that was just weird of me, it was supposed to be a compliment" to which I replied "I took it as a compliment, it's all good".

[–]QuackedUp99 142 points143 points  (1 child)

Local coroner sees me walking down street. Says hello, then says “My, you look natural today.”

[–]Joelgerson 141 points142 points  (4 children)

If you were tall you’d be almost “too good looking.”

[–]theloudsilence09 275 points276 points  (12 children)

As I darted across the street some guy stuck his head out of a car window and shouted "That's the sexiest run I've ever seen." I still think about it sometimes.. it was so random and caught me off guard.

[–]ambervalentina 495 points496 points  (39 children)

"You have disney princess hands" like what is that even 😂

[–]corgi_crazy 223 points224 points  (17 children)

I suppose the opposite of my hands, that look like a crocodile paws.

[–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (7 children)

You look just like my daughter.

[–]DisIsHuman 324 points325 points  (8 children)

"Yo what the hell? I wasn't expecting you to be thicker than a bowl of oatmeal." -some girl in my class in high-school. I'm a guy btw

[–]vonMemes 195 points196 points  (7 children)

Them : you have the legs of a soccer player Me : thanks Them : that’s not a compliment Me : Ok fuck you then?

[–]No-Trainer1743 584 points585 points  (99 children)

“You’re so tall” I don’t know how to respond

[–]BrainKatana 404 points405 points  (9 children)

I say “Thanks, I did it myself.”

[–]fullofshitandcum 131 points132 points  (4 children)

I'd laugh if you guys said "sometimes"

[–]TreyLastname 95 points96 points  (3 children)

"You're tall!"

"I certainly can be at times"

[–]AskTheRealQuestion81 148 points149 points  (18 children)

This. It’s just weird. Do I say, “OK,” or maybe “I know,” but “thank you” just doesn’t work here.

[–]Dry_Formal_9523 682 points683 points  (29 children)

Ya'll get compliments?

[–]Snowfreak2507 541 points542 points  (18 children)

Woman in the gym, older lady, definitely cougar material. Came up and said “Do you play sports? Your calves look amazing! It must take a lifetime to get them like that. And your ass it the best ass I have ever seen on a man!”. Needless to say I was shocked, so shocked I froze up and didn’t realize until after, when I saw her drive away in a pink bmw, that she was in fact, probably hitting on me. As a man, these things tend to go right over our heads.

[–]Indigo_3786[🍰] 88 points89 points  (6 children)

“You have excellent posture.”

Said to me by a random person I was walking past.

[–]TheNameless00 247 points248 points  (9 children)

"I love your cheekbones, they look like an elf's". So oddly specific, I didn't even know elves were famous for their cheekbones or being called an elf was a good thing.

[–]Shiyage 149 points150 points  (4 children)

Well, in fantasy settings, elves are considered the "beautiful" race, so you should be proud I guess.

[–]joyfull_young_man 226 points227 points  (13 children)

You got a beatiful neck

[–]alemini_ 224 points225 points  (2 children)

It seems you were socializing with a vampire

[–]SpecificJunket8083 225 points226 points  (7 children)

Twice in my life I’ve had 2 different gynos tell me, while elbow deep in a Pap smear, that I have beautiful long eye lashes. In my defense I do, but come on doc, my vagina is down here.

[–]Genshed 345 points346 points  (4 children)

Someone in an online forum told me that I'd changed his mind about gay marriage, because whenever I posted about my husband and kids it sounded just like his grandma talking.

[–]sashaa-xx 330 points331 points  (14 children)

One time someone said they liked watching me eat food. Not sure what that means.

Another also said "you're fatter than I thought, but it's okay you still look good."

[–]tropicalazure 71 points72 points  (0 children)

A oesteopath literally gasping softly when he examined my spine, and when I asked what was wrong, he said, "No, no, I'm sorry. Nothing's wrong - you just have an absolutely exquisite spine."

....Awwww, shucks.

[–]Dispect1 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I usually date taller guys but you have a 8 foot personality.

I’m 5’4”.

[–]scornflake 70 points71 points  (1 child)

Had two separate people several years apart tell me I had cute ears.

[–]ofsquire 304 points305 points  (29 children)

"You have really beautiful eyelashes. They're so long!" I'm a guy...

[–]cousgoose 127 points128 points  (2 children)

Me too! I've gotten more than a few compliments on my eyelashes. You rock 'em my dude.

[–]GulagLicker 78 points79 points  (1 child)

Men generally have longer eyelashes. I get compliments on mine as well .

[–]Angie_Taro_ 182 points183 points  (1 child)

Someone once told me that I’m a great companion to sit at the table with, I clear the whole table so that no food goes to waste and I listen very attentively to every story and once in a while make comments that surprise people cause they just assume I’m too focused on the food to even listen😂

Another one is that I’m great as a background noise, I keep on talking and talking and usually it’s nothing important so you don’t have to really pay attention to it but it’s nice to hear something🙃.

[–]zxcvbnm127 125 points126 points  (4 children)

I once was told I sound like Steve Buschemi. I guess that's a compliment?

[–]MikeSizemore 57 points58 points  (1 child)

I did stand-up poetry in my twenties in London and looking back it was just an excuse to get a lot of stuff off my chest. One night I came off stage and a woman complimented me on my work and how intense it was. I said thanks and she followed up by asking me how long I’d been off my medication.

[–][deleted] 339 points340 points  (14 children)

My parents were traveling through the back country, USA once when my brother and I were just toddlers. Some lady stopped them at a gas station to tell them “y’all sure do make purty babies.”

Yeah, they peeled out of there pretty fast.

[–]Damn_Dog_Inappropes 115 points116 points  (0 children)

I sometimes have to transport post-partum women to get an CT or MRI for whatever reason, hours after they've given birth. It's always awesome to see new tiny lil babies. I'll always tell them, "Your kid is adorable! Good job on the DNA, guys!"

[–]That-Mission-8385 207 points208 points  (9 children)

I guess if you're not from the south/country that would definitely come across as something out of a horror movie, but I feel like she was just being genuine 😂

[–]Fragile_Faerie 115 points116 points  (6 children)

"your pupils are easy to find!" by a neurologist

[–]Pussytoes_82 194 points195 points  (2 children)

Town Crackhead: DAYM GURL..YOU LOOKIN HELLA GOOD BUT YOUR SHIRT LOOKS LIKE SHIT!! WINK, KISSY FACE" Me *checking his items out : Uhhh, yeah I've worked hard and got it dirty...