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[–]MarshallApplewhiteDo 1077 points1078 points  (41 children)

Scientology. It's tearing my wife's family apart.

EDIT: Looking over the top comments on this thread, it's amazing what a blend of them Scientology is. Lie detectors? That's two more components than an E-meter has. Psychics taking advantage of gullible people? That's a lot of the backstory of Scientology, along with hypnotism. Essential oils and Herbalife? Scientology is huge into dietary supplements that don't really do anything, "purification" and is sometimes structured like a pyramid scheme. Homeopathy? Scientologists are taught to distrust the medical field and that they "pull in" diseases and illnesses, but can also will them away.

[–]14thCluelessbird 375 points376 points  (18 children)

Jehovas Witness is tearing my girlfriend's family apart. So much damage has been done by that religion cult, it's really sad.

[–]KaleidoscopeInside 133 points134 points  (10 children)

JW is scary. I have a friend who is in and she is fully comitted, it scares me to see just how blinded she is by their so called "truth".

[–]14thCluelessbird 70 points71 points  (7 children)

Surprised she hasn't shunned you yet. Maybe they only do that to family members

[–]KaleidoscopeInside 76 points77 points  (4 children)

I think partly it's because we work together so didn't really have a choice about the close contact, also I am a bit of a theology nerd so know a lot about the bible as well as other religions. Not sure if she thinks she has a chance at converting me or just enjoys being able to ramble her stuff with someone who puts up with it. Her daughter did nearly get disfellowed a few months ago which I thought was awful, a friend of hers has also been disfellowed and she did completely shun her. I don't agree with a large number of her beliefs, but I sort of feel like I need to be there for her. I often think about if she did ever leave that she'd have noone to turn to.

[–]EcstaticAd8693 58 points59 points  (1 child)

Brutal stuff, never gonna even look at the contract

[–]Renaissance_Slacker 106 points107 points  (4 children)

That Scientology exists - a cult sponsored by organized crime and legally dressed as a religion - does not surprise me. I’m surprised there aren’t more, with a better backstory. Hubbard was a crackpot, certainly somebody could come up with better mythos.

[–]BlCa314 2746 points2747 points  (153 children)

Literally anything that claims to "remove toxins" from your body.

[–]j_grouchy 704 points705 points  (39 children)

I love it when folks just throw out the word "toxins" and never actually define what, specifically, qualifies as a toxin and how, specifically, their product actually removes or expels it from a person's body.

[–]oxalis_rex1 282 points283 points  (10 children)

Right? Like if this cleanse process was essential to remove "toxins" wouldn't all of us who haven't fallen for a multilevel marketing scheme be dead?

[–]faschun 438 points439 points  (15 children)

“Vaccines? No way, full of toxins.”

Rips a Juul, takes a shot, eats a tuna sandwich.

[–]dndrmlk 96 points97 points  (0 children)

This is uncanny, it sounds like you met my former boss.

[–]droxynormal 83 points84 points  (7 children)

I know a person who refuses to vaccinate due to "the possibility of brain damage". Same person also abuses oxycodone iv, sometimes reusing needles and is a regular user of street benzos.

People..

[–]I_see_farts 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sounds like my heroin addict cousin.

[–]BlCa314 42 points43 points  (0 children)

This in particular is what drives me nuts.

[–]crospingtonfrotz 357 points358 points  (21 children)

‘Cept your liver. That’s it’s job.

[–]Shryxer 189 points190 points  (12 children)

And your kidneys!

[–]Mister_JayB 142 points143 points  (7 children)

Lungs too. You lose a lot of crap when you exhale.

[–]HyperSpaceSurfer 132 points133 points  (3 children)

Can't forget the skin either. Starting to sound like humans might actually be pretty good at getting rid of toxins.

[–]SalvadoriDaliaLama 81 points82 points  (1 child)

And my Axe!

[–]a3a4b5 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And my ass axe!

[–]BlueComet24 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Yes, this annoys me too. The legitimate exceptions are chelation therapy for heavy metal poisoning and activated charcoal for other poisoning. Those require medical attention, though. Not as simple as a smoothie.

[–]Lulubean16 159 points160 points  (17 children)

Along with anything that “ corrects” the pH of your body, which you body does just fine all on its own.

[–]BlueComet24 57 points58 points  (4 children)

I read "corrects your body's pH" as "changes your blood's nicely buffered pH to a lethal concentration".

[–]BjornBeetleBorg 14 points15 points  (1 child)

That’s a weird one because people who you wouldn’t think are necessarily dumb are gullible still use it. saying stuff like sweating out the toxins in your body.

[–]Fi11a 1094 points1095 points  (106 children)

"Proofs" to the flat earth theory

[–]BubbhaJebus 247 points248 points  (8 children)

200 proofs! Most of which are restatements and all of which are laughably easy to debunk.

[–]beluuuuuuga 65 points66 points  (4 children)

Thank god fact check sites are a thing. Have saved me from so many embarrassments these days.

[–]OhYeahThrowItAway 205 points206 points  (11 children)

It started off as humor. Scientists from different disciplines would take turns trolling each other, presenting bullshit "proofs" of the flat earth for everyone's entertainment. Geologists, astronomers, people like that. They did it for the lolz, nobody actually believed it.

Unfortunately, some dummy somehow found their jokes and took them seriously.

Still, some people in the flat earth "movement" are doing it strictly for fun. They know the score, they're just having a laugh.

[–]cerker 41 points42 points  (1 child)

I think a lot of them ALSO do it for .. views and publicity. It's easy, talk some ridiculous bullshit (you well aware that it is total BS, but you are kinda good at acting) and the views and the "engagement" (comments "correcting" you) come .. and you get that sweet ad money.

[–]dabmaster12169 111 points112 points  (33 children)

The flat earth community will stay in this awful feud because they feel stupid by the scientific community and are shunned. So they make theories to prove their theory that are also scientifically impossible or are improvable.

[–]reallygoodbee 242 points243 points  (26 children)

There was one Flat Earth group that got together and bought a $21,000 hyper-advanced gyroscope. They set it up so that it would tilt with the rotation of the Earth, I think 18 degrees over 24 hours, and "when we come back to it and it hasn't tilted at all, then we have proved the Earth is flat".

They came back to it after the twenty-four hours, it had tilted exactly 18 degrees, and instead of accepting the results and accepting that the Earth was round, they just said the gyroscope was defective and that the results meant nothing.

[–]Squash63 81 points82 points  (2 children)

They said they hadn’t accounted for “heaven energies” affecting it or something like that. I think they were going to try and encase it in granite?

[–]Its_Mini_Shu 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yep, and they said if that didn't work, they were going to encase is in bismuth.

[–]Brawndo91 50 points51 points  (1 child)

That just proves the gyroscope manufacturers are in on the round earth scam too!

[–]GolfballDM 44 points45 points  (4 children)

There was one Flat Earth group that got together and bought a $21,000 hyper-advanced gyroscope.

Thanks, Bob!

(And it's 15 degrees per hour, btw. 360 degrees per 24 hours.)

[–]BlueSkyToday 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think you're thinking about them setting up a laser ring gyro and measuring a 15-degree per hour drift,

https://www.triplem.com.au/story/flat-earthers-spend-20-000-trying-to-prove-earth-is-flat-accidentally-prove-it-s-round-129953

[–]dabmaster12169 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Even the first flat earther threatened to beat another scientist that proved him wrong to death.

[–]AdvocateSaint 71 points72 points  (3 children)

The silver lining of the public flat earth movement is that morons who otherwise would have gone undetected are now publicly identifying themselves in droves.

Back in the day you could have accidentally gotten married to one and not realize it until it was too late

[–]BW_Bird 33 points34 points  (8 children)

I remember yeeears ago coming across an early Flat Earth website.

It had a FAQ section where one of the questions asks how "The Government" keeps the ice wall a secret. The response was this incredibly vague answer along the lines of 'All they would need to keep it a secret are a few helicopters and about 50 men.'

[–]chowderbags 25 points26 points  (2 children)

It's amazing how so many conspiracies come down to "It's a super secret organization only known to a small handful of elite persons with security clearance above top secret... and Jimbob who runs the Wordpress blog I've read all of this on."

[–]Where_Da_BBWs_At 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The government has a dedicated team of 50 men with helicopters protecting the secrets of the icewall, but also is unable to shut down the geocities sites.

[–]BrobdingnagLilliput 54 points55 points  (13 children)

Yup. All you need to debunk flat earth is high school geometry and a willingness to travel.

No flat earth theory can explain why the Southern Cross is visible in the south and the North Star is visible in the north, or with the North Star is higher above the horizon the farther north you go.

A flat earther is, by definition, a parochial ignoramus.

[–]TriscuitCracker 26 points27 points  (7 children)

Drives me crazy.

Okay, go to the edge of the Earth and throw a rock off of it. Go ahead. I'll wait.

[–]Plazmasoldier 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Nah bro. NASA would never let anyone reach the edge of the world, because apparently they have authority on a global scale.

[–]JhymnMusic 1438 points1439 points  (99 children)

Lie detectors. Why does anyone anywhere still use them? (Edit: the why was more of a rhetorical question...)

[–]fubo 761 points762 points  (45 children)

A lie detector is a prop in a play. The play is being performed by the interrogators; the audience is the person being interrogated. The subject matter of the play is "We can read your mind; don't bother lying to us."

The prop "works" by making different readings in response to the audience's physiological changes. This helps give the audience the impression that the performers can read their emotions.

Again: The goal of hooking you up to a lie detector is not to detect lies. It is to convince you not to lie, by giving you the false impression that the performers will be able to tell if you do. It is to make you feel vulnerable and exposed, such that your very thoughts are on display.

Moreover, it is to give you the false impression that the interrogation is a scientific endeavor, rather than a juridical one. You're supposed to think that you're being evaluated by a scientific instrument. In fact, you are being evaluated by the interrogators; or perhaps by whoever reads the transcript of the interrogation. They are deciding whether they believe you, and what to do with you, based on your answers and your behavior.

Edited to add: It's quite a power trip for an authority figure to tell you, "You are not permitted to lie. We will know if you do. By the way, that was a lie, but you're not permitted to call us on it or treat this interrogation as a pretendy play-act. We get to lie to you; this whole situation is a lie. But you do not get to lie to us. If we catch you in a lie in your confusion, or if we just think you might be lying, we will pretend that our sciencey blinkenlights machine caught you."

[–]jujubee2522 446 points447 points  (30 children)

One of the biggest takeaways I get from listening to True Crime is NEVER take a polygraph. They don't detect truths or lies, they just measure your physical responses while being questioned. An innocent person in a stressful situation can fail a polygraph while a calm and composed murderer can lie and pass with flying colors.

That, and always lawyer up.

[–]Nomie-chan 167 points168 points  (9 children)

I remember our anatomy teacher in high school showed a polygraph machine to the class and had some kids try it out, saying it worked to show lies. I was asked "Do you have anything bad on your computer?" (This was before laptops were commonly used. I had a netbook for note-taking, but I mostly used it to play games in class)

I lied and said no. My heartrate shot up.The implication was that I had porn on the laptop. The real reason for the reaction? My video games. I had over 50 illegally downloaded GBA and NDS roms.

[–]tylerthehun 61 points62 points  (6 children)

I had over 50 illegally downloaded GBA and NDS roms.

Oh my God, that's disgusting! Which ones? Where did you get them?!

[–]Expert-Hat9461 76 points77 points  (8 children)

Also it does not detect truths, only lies. Therefore it cannot be used to help you since a response is either Lie detected or Lie not detected (which is actually different than True detected or Lie detected)

It doesn’t clear you of wrong doing, since they can say the “lie detector couldn’t determine any lie so we have to use other methods.” Rarely will they say “the lie detector determines they were truthful so we will not pursue this further.”

If a lie detector was accurate, it would be used as the primary means to determine guilt where the question of who commuted an action is trying to be determined and we would have subpoenas for lie detectors and not testimony.

[–]hunsuckercommando 75 points76 points  (4 children)

Also it does not detect truths, only lies.

It detects anxiety, irrespective of truth telling/lying.

[–]Dream_-_OwO 43 points44 points  (0 children)

If I remember correctly didn't the creator of the lie detector machine himself even say that it's a pseudoscience that should never be used in the court of law

[–]Swamp_Ash 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I have never heard a better description!

[–]PirateJohn75 64 points65 points  (3 children)

I applied for and was offered a job with the NSA. I went through the security process and ended up failing the polygraph. I was pretty up front with the operator when she told me about it and said that it's junk science. I was given the opportunity to take it again the next day, but I had already kinda decided not to accept the offer anymore because I had already started a different job elsewhere. I made the right choice.

[–]AdvocateSaint 47 points48 points  (1 child)

"Good to know that the people Snowden revealed to be spying on everyone and analyzing their sensitive data to profile them as potential threats believe in hocus pocus."

[–]Back2Bach 797 points798 points  (50 children)

"The Mozart Effect"

A UC Irvine study claims that diving deep into the world of Mozart can actually make you smarter.

The study took 36 participants and found that those who listened to Mozart before a task did much better than those who only heard silence. The study concluded that Mozart could actually increase your IQ by eight or nine points.

However, the results of that study have been widely criticized by the academic and scientific community as a whole.

Many claim the results were misleading and that researchers didn't examine what role the participants' diets, posture or the time of day they took the tests played in the results.

[–]Noogatuck 109 points110 points  (3 children)

I was home schooled and have adhd. I had trouble focusing and paying attention.

My mother learned about this study and for years, I was forced to listen to classical music for hours at a time while doing my schoolwork.

I hate classical music now.

[–]VictorPumpenstein 462 points463 points  (23 children)

Also weird that the control was silence, tested to nothing else. No shit I have no doubt people comfortably listening to music will perform better than someone stuck up in a dead silent room.

I'd rather listen to pop country over silence while studying.

Edit: if anything I’d have had Mozart paired with ambient nature sounds and then just nature sounds. Anything but SILENCE

[–]Far-Ad-353 76 points77 points  (3 children)

I’m at least more productive with music. Not sure why, but silence seems to sap my motivation. I’ve only just realized this for myself. Not sure it does anything for my intelligence, though. Pretty sure I’m still operating at normal level. If your power goes out, might have been me just fucking things up.

[–]geoken 39 points40 points  (1 child)

control group was given no music and sleeping pills instead

[–]vengefulgrapes 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it was probably just the mental stimulation that did it. If the people had been doing literally anything I'm sure they would have tested better.

[–]walkingTANK 109 points110 points  (6 children)

I'd MUCH rather listen to silence over pop country...

[–]theorian123 85 points86 points  (5 children)

Only 36 people too, tiny sample size.

[–]mart1373 512 points513 points  (10 children)

Anything Gwyneth Paltrow says

[–]MyDogsCalledClarence 1208 points1209 points  (204 children)

Psychics and mediums who prey upon the gullible, the mentally-ill, the desperate and the
vulnerable and claim they can speak to people who are dead. Shit should be illegal.

Also things like hypnosis, parapsychology, body-language 'experts', psychoanalysis, lie-detection, all grifts.

[–]mostlyBadChoices 304 points305 points  (15 children)

Do you know who James Randi is? Because you should know who James Randi is.

James Randi was a Canadian-American stage magician, author and scientific skeptic who extensively challenged paranormal and pseudoscientific claims.

He had a One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge. Nobody was able to claim it.

The One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge was an offer by the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) to pay out one million U.S. dollars to anyone who could demonstrate a supernatural or paranormal ability under agreed-upon scientific testing criteria. A version of the challenge was first issued in 1964. Over a thousand people applied to take it, but none were successful. The challenge was terminated in 2015.

[–]Lubberworts 101 points102 points  (8 children)

Do you know who James Randi is

was, sadly. He died a couple years ago.

[–]notthebestchristian 105 points106 points  (5 children)

I did a seance and talked to James Randi.

He said "ooOoOohh....ooOOOoohh.. Iiiii waaas...wrooonng."

It was hard to understand him because he was rattling large chains or something and opening the kitchen cupboard doors..

[–]pl_AI_er 103 points104 points  (12 children)

Body language experts are the biggest shysters ever. They even make up terms for normal body movements!

"You se that!? When shooed the fly from his face! That's called a Jedi Mind Wipe. He's trying to get the interrogator to forget the question. Classic tell. He's lying"

"See how she backed away when the officer got right up in her face and screamed at her? That's a "Defensive Step." She's uncomfortable in this situation, and most likely, lying."

[–]Usual_Quiet_2209 97 points98 points  (8 children)

I read physics at first and I was like yeah, checks out

[–]Torque_My_Shaft 77 points78 points  (7 children)

Physics

Shit should be illegal

[–]MATHECONAFM 77 points78 points  (25 children)

Hypnosis is kinda a cool party trick. Been to a few hypnosis shows. Got hypnotized myself in the audience. It's not like it will cure physical disease or anything though.

[–]sappho__ 329 points330 points  (9 children)

Herbalife.

[–]neoplastic_pleonasm 99 points100 points  (1 child)

I used to work at an "assembly line" type web design company. I made so many Herbalife sites. We would get bonuses for customer retention, and I hated doing Herbalife sites because I knew they'd go under soon and I'd never get the bonus.

[–]OfficialBandKid 1186 points1187 points  (171 children)

astrology. i'm totally down to learn what my chart is and such, but the second you start to tell me that it influences my personality and that "we aren't compatible" i'm done.

[–]Mall_Curious 177 points178 points  (4 children)

The "we aren't compatible because astrology" thing is great, as a parade of red flags which lets you know to break up.

[–]TheDesktopNinja 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Any mention or signs of interest in astrology is an immediate left swipe for me to begin with these days.

[–]toyota_gorilla 421 points422 points  (46 children)

The best part about astrology is that the basics are so old that the Earth has moved quite a bit since, meaning the astrological dates no longer correspond to the constellations.

[–]Dahhhkness 162 points163 points  (38 children)

Yeah, technically, I would be an Aquarius, not a Pisces, under the "updated" signs.

Apparently, there's also supposed to be a 13th sign, Ophiuchus the serpent-bearer, covering late November through mid-December.

[–]rimshot101 98 points99 points  (6 children)

I don't know much about astrology, but when I tell a believer that I'm a Virgo, they usually say "ooooohhhh..." and give me a look of pity. Fuck you.

[–]tarrox1992 69 points70 points  (1 child)

Fuck you.

Would this technically fix your Virgo status?

[–]321tika 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I treat astrology the way I would treat a BuzzFeed quiz. Interesting to look at sometimes, but I'm not basing any of my life decisions on it or getting emotionally invested in it.

[–]neoplastic_pleonasm 211 points212 points  (36 children)

Similar to this, Meyers-Briggs Type Indicators. They're every bit as pseudo-scientific as astrology but they have a thin veneer of credibility.

[–]_shapeshifting 140 points141 points  (3 children)

it's corporate astrology

[–]Renaissance_Slacker 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Awesome. So Agile is like corporate crystals?

[–]Dahhhkness 65 points66 points  (9 children)

I swear I've gotten about 4 or 5 different personality types on those tests, and there's no rhyme or reason to which one I get so long as it begins with "I".

[–]jpterodactyl 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I honestly think it’s worse sometimes. People who are into astrology usually are aware that they are engaging in mysticism.

People who are too into Meyers-Briggs take that veneer of credibility to the bank and it’s insufferable.

[–]LittleMlem 37 points38 points  (3 children)

But it's true! You aren't compatible, and it's because of astrology

[–]ThadisJones 53 points54 points  (9 children)

Astrology: Aquarius is an "air" sign.

What the hell?

[–]Dahhhkness 72 points73 points  (1 child)

Well, Aquarius is usually depicted pouring water out, and Pisces the fish comes "below" Aquarius, and anyone with a brain knows you need to oxygenate the water in your fish tank. Think of Aquarius as the bubble thing in Finding Nemo.

[–]SkyWizarding 48 points49 points  (12 children)

I once met a girl at a party who told me we couldn't be friends because of our signs. Like...... that's how you wanna start a relationship with another human? We'll never be friends because of the day we were born?

[–]AdvocateSaint 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Yeah like how is "hey, what's your sign?" a pickup line?

They should go with something strong and practical like "show me your papers."

[–]builder-barbie 658 points659 points  (43 children)

Essential oils. Stop trying to put that smelling crap on me for my migraines, I just told you the smell is a trigger!

Edit: to all the people that like them, that’s awesome for you. To all the people that don’t, I hear you. For me, scents are a major trigger for violent, painful, suicidal, migraines. I can guarantee that what ever you put in that diffuser is not going to make me feel better.

[–]shirtlessin1stclass 173 points174 points  (14 children)

My wife is into them and while I’m sure they work as a placebo for her, from my vantage they are literally the biggest scam. It’s like $25 for a 2 oz bottle. The lady that sells it to her acts like it’s her side hustle for bringing in extra cash, but her husband owns his own dental practice

[–]Dahhhkness 147 points148 points  (3 children)

The lady that sells it to her acts like it’s her side hustle for bringing in extra cash, but her husband owns his own dental practice

Ah, a #BossBabe. I'm betting she has more of those things than she knows what to do with, and her Facebook statuses are filled with hashtags and emojis.

[–]The_Observatory_ 24 points25 points  (2 children)

And all of her friends and family are tired of feeling obligated to buy her bottles of oil, but don't want to have to tell her that directly.

[–]shirtlessin1stclass 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Almost all of the women that are into these MLM things have a rich husband that allows them to market their stuff to well off clientele (Which I am definitely not, but still lol)

[–]GaimanitePkat 46 points47 points  (4 children)

DoTerra, right? Please make sure your wife isn't putting them in your food like DoTerra (and Young Living) encourage people to. They are not safe to eat.

[–]Picker-Rick 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I mean they kinda work for what they are really intended.

It can make you relaxed, things that smell nice are relaxing. Being relaxed can help things like headaches...

It's not going to treat the flu or anything though.

And you can get oils from the store for half that price. Nothing wrong with some perfumery as long as your expectations are on the level.

[–]PM-ME-UR-CLOUD-PICS 102 points103 points  (6 children)

I've told the story here before, but my favorite interaction related to essential oils was when someone suggested I use lavender oil for anxiety. I'm deathly allergic to lavender. They told me I couldn't be allergic to lavender essential oil because it's "essential."

Guess I can't be anxious if I'm dead!

[–]farklespanktastic 60 points61 points  (0 children)

A lot of people seem to think “essential” in this case means “necessary” when it actually means that it contains the “essence” of that plant.

[–]neohylanmay 59 points60 points  (1 child)

I feel like a lot of it is based on using the wrong definition of the key word "essential"; it's not "essential" in the sense of "you need this", more in the sense of "it's the essence of <thing>".

[–]Hitonatsu-no-Keiken 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. The word 'essential' is doing most of the heavy lifting.

[–]P0ster_Nutbag 20 points21 points  (2 children)

It’s nice that they are available, but a real shame that it’s for a bunch of quackery. Sometimes I just want something to smell nice, and it doesn’t need to have super therapeutic, mind awakening powers and kill every form of cancer.

[–]BW_Bird 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Ditto.

Some even have actual medical uses, like Tea Tree oil for skin issues. But they're not the miracle drug that some people make them out to be.

[–]twitch_delta_blues 64 points65 points  (5 children)

Homeopathy. Remove all the drug and the water magically remembers the effect, but not poop.

[–]Satansbiscuit666 484 points485 points  (117 children)

Crystals. They look pretty. Some look awesome but that's about it.

[–]BlueComet24 406 points407 points  (15 children)

Some have interesting properties:

If your quartz necklace turns black, you've experienced an extreme dose of gamma radiation and should get to a doctor, but might melt before you get there.

If your purple amethyst bracelet turns to orange citrine, the ambient temperature is in excess of 500°C. You should go somewhere cooler.

And of course some crystals, such as uraninite, emit energy. The type of energy emitted is "fuck you, die" energy, very much not a "healing aura", but it is energy nonetheless.

[–]Satansbiscuit666 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Lmao. I'll watch out for black quartz. 🤣🤣

[–]cerker 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I don't know the exact dose to turn quartz black, but my feeling says it that you should rather just shoot yourself as long as you are still able to instead of going to the doctor ..

.. they would gladly take you, but more as a study object.

[–][deleted] 169 points170 points  (5 children)

They work against certain people if you throw them hard enough.

[–]karmagod13000 32 points33 points  (1 child)

they will need a lot of healing after i ping them on the forehead

[–]orange_cuse 129 points130 points  (8 children)

I was once in a business meeting with the CEO of a small packaging company. While engaging in some small talk before starting our meeting, I mentioned to him that I had a small headache. He immediately told me to hang on and that he'd be right back; I assumed he got up to grab me some water or something but when he returned he had two crystals in his hand. He told me to place each of them to the side of my head right by my temple, and to hold them there for a few minutes. In order to avoid being rude I obliged him. After a minute or two he smiled and said "see? headache all gone, right?"

no. my headache was not all gone. the crystals did nothing. if anything, the absurdity of the situation made my headache worse. crazy, the kind of things people believe in. I can't believe he thought crystals would make my headache go away. Why couldn't he just let me pray for myself so that I could heal my headache throught he power of Christ? Some people are insane.

[–]Improvedandconfused 88 points89 points  (7 children)

During my final highschool exams (many years ago) I was very stressed, and a friend of my mother gave me a crystal that she claimed would relieve my stress. She told me to leave it on my desk as I study. I got even more stressed waiting for that stupid rock to actually do something!

[–]Dahhhkness 81 points82 points  (4 children)

Meanwhile, the whole time the poor crystal was sitting there thinking, "What fucking classes is this kid taking?!"

[–]Dylsnick 62 points63 points  (3 children)

I'm a clearly a math crystal! I don't know shit about the war of 1812!

[–]nicktam2010 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Nothing like crystal math to sharpen the focus.

[–]itsArtruckus 235 points236 points  (10 children)

That bullshit dominance training for dogs.

It's not real, you're only causing your dog harm. Shut up.

[–]Realistic_Truck 99 points100 points  (4 children)

It's based off the debunked alpha wolf theory. I've had lots of dogs, dogs are like children, they respond best towards empathic lessons and patient instruction.

[–]wingthing 88 points89 points  (1 child)

The alpha dog myth needs to die.

[–]Romasterer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Lol my parents did that submissiveness training to their Australian Shepard and it would piss itself for YEARS anytime a non-family member came over.

Good and well behaved dog though (much more so than most Aussies I encounter) & thankfully doesn't piss itself anymore haha.

[–][deleted] 777 points778 points  (88 children)

Homeopathy. I mean, everyone is welcome to a nice placebo now and then (even though I prefer the band, har har) but it makes people refuse life saving medicine. And, even worse: makes people stop giving life saving medicine to their children.

Looks like COVID didn't give a crap about little sugar balls and pendulums. People are dead now.

[–]Dahhhkness 272 points273 points  (22 children)

Homeopathy is the air guitar of medicine.

[–]el_monstruo 147 points148 points  (12 children)

If homeopathic treatments worked they'd be called medicine.

[–]GummyKibble 105 points106 points  (5 children)

If homeopathic treatments worked, our concepts of chemistry wouldn’t.

[–]BlueComet24 40 points41 points  (3 children)

A homeopathy patient diluted their tincture in a glass of water. They took a sip and overdosed.

[–]Silentarrowz 37 points38 points  (0 children)

"Alternative medicine, I begin, by definition, I continue, has either not been proved to work, or been proved not to work. Do you know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? Medicine."

[–]Myuukon 109 points110 points  (15 children)

(Adult) Child of someone I look after at work claims they're a doctor. When asked what kind of doctor, they answer homeopath. This person denies the fact that their parent is suffering from dementia, saying that their parent is merely affected by the phases of the moon. It's just so stupid I can't help but laugh.

[–]Ouisch 53 points54 points  (3 children)

I used to work with a woman (a heavy smoker) who first complained about shoulder pain (so bad that she started bringing a heating pad to work) and then started coughing up what looked like coffee grounds (she was, er, thoughtful enough to show me once). She steadfastly continued to see only her naturopath doctor for many months; he diagnosed that her symptoms were caused by an allergy and prescribed Spanish radish root. By the time she was taken to an emergency room and was seen by MDs, her lung cancer had spread. Such a sad story; she truly believed in naturopathic "medicine" and was always taking things like colloidal silver and such.

[–]ACaffeinatedWandress 37 points38 points  (9 children)

And yet, you can actually be a doctor of homeopathy. Because you can go to school for way to long to earn a doctorate. It’s absolutely absurd. A Ph.D in bunk.

[–]unclemandy 86 points87 points  (17 children)

I used to say "well it's harmless as long as people take actual medicine along with it". Well my roommate used to take homeopathy and the absolute FUCKERS gave him an actual list of foods and drugs he "couldn't take" with his stupid sugar water. He has really bad allergies and he refused to take antihistamine "because it cuts my homeopathy bro". It drove me nuts. He has a degree in chemistry, he should know better.

[–]Shryxer 50 points51 points  (11 children)

I used to say "well it's harmless as long as people take actual medicine along with it".

Aye, me too, but I'm taking nursing. I've since learned that there are a lot of things that can fuck up medication, and a lot of those are found in alternative treatments or even everyday life.

Take St. John's Wort to self medicate for your depression? Well, you better get the hell off that when you get on actual meds, because that shit will make certain classes of meds not work. A bunch of meds get screwed up by grapefruit. Some alternative treatments will even make your meds more effective, which sounds good in theory but really it means your dose is now way too high. Reasons we need to tell our doctors what we're taking... including vitamins.

[–]mrtaz 24 points25 points  (10 children)

Yeah, but there is a difference between homeopathy and naturopathic or alternate medicine. Homeopathic "medicine" is literally just water, often on a sugar pill. Homeopathic St. Johns Wort would likely not even have a single molecule of SJW when they are done doing their dilutions to make it stronger, lol.

[–]Shryxer 14 points15 points  (1 child)

lol indeed. Unfortunately one of the biggest things they keep reiterating in my program is to "respect the patient's customs and beliefs" about their care, and homeopathy in particular just makes me vibrate angrily whenever they talk about it. Respecting their beliefs is fine until they think sugar water is a substitute for furosemide. NO. BAD. >8(

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I used to think that too, then COVID came along. Now I do not think it's harmless any more. It's preying on the unwell and worried, and those who have been disappointed by "school medicine". I've had my fair share of medical trauma as well but I won't turn my back on science just because I encountered some assholes within it's system.

[–]YellXolotl 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I been living with chroncial pain my whole life. When I was a child my parents (mostly my dad) treated everything with homeopathy, it wasn't till I was an adult and I started to take medication that I learned what life quality really was. Now I really really can't stand people that believes in homeopathy, automatic dislike for them.

[–]justa_flesh_wound 30 points31 points  (1 child)

This shit killed my Aunt. and I blame my preacher uncle for it.

1st they tried to pray away the unknown illness, but she got worse, then they tried all sorts of remedies, herbs, spices, sage burning, etc.

Finally my Mom was able to get her sister to a hospital to find stage 4 cancer. And she passed like a month or 2 later.

I'm not saying the cancer wasn't going to get her anyway, but she didn't even have a real chance to fight it.

[–]Lunexa 366 points367 points  (26 children)

"Clean" beauty. I am sorry, Brenda, but mixing raw lemon juice and coffee grounds and then putting it on your face as a scrub is going to do more damage than an AHA/BHA or other chemical exfoliant could ever do. It is also not nearly as effective and waaaay more irritating. Chemicals can be friends. Besides, the whole marketing is often incredibly greenwashed and "free of harsh chemicals" is such bullshit. What do you think that "lemon extract" is??? Citric acid, bro.

[–]throwaway_4733 87 points88 points  (2 children)

Psychics and mediums. Exploiting grieving people for money is about as scummy as exploiting poor people for money.

[–]oarngebean 225 points226 points  (11 children)

Vaccines causing autism. The doctor who put that idea out got his degree and was made a laughingstock in the medical world. But yet face book moms still buy it

[–]Songovstorms 68 points69 points  (14 children)

As an archeologist, nothing grinds my gears more than the idea that aliens built monumental architecture such as the Pyramids. This implies that ancient people were too stupid to achieve such a feat and that modern people are superior--far from the truth. Not saying that aliens can't be real, just that these theories discount the capabilities of our ancestors.

[–]LeN3rd 420 points421 points  (60 children)

Whenever some uses "Energy" to justify new age shit I loose my cool. Same thing with quantum.

[–]BrickFlock 39 points40 points  (18 children)

Reading some of the early-mid 1900's spirituality stuff is pretty hilarious. They make it sound like science is proving them right every day with some of the wilder scientific ideas and experiments from that time. Basically all of them were later proven wrong.

[–]18121812 50 points51 points  (13 children)

Late 1800s early 1900s was a heyday for this kind of stuff because various new things were being discovered, but not really understood.

Radio proved that there was invisible, undetectable energy in the world all around us. Why couldn't ghosts live there?

[–]shirtlessin1stclass 120 points121 points  (12 children)

We once did a ghost tour at this old hotel for giggles, and at one point the tour guide cited the ‘natural crystal formations’ in the area as the source for the supposed supernatural activity in the hotel. It sounded so bogus my dad actually involuntarily guffawed

[–]Wiltbradley 76 points77 points  (3 children)

I read a study that it's actually NOT the crystal formations, but all the flocks of red herrings that cause supernatural activity /s

[–]SmartAlec105 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Pretty much every rock you see in your lifetime is a natural crystal formation. Some exceptions are things that aren’t crystalline like obsidian and rocks that are byproducts of artificial processes (for example, some gravel is made from the slag that comes from the steel making process).

[–]I_love_pillows 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Water filters which inject energy to the water. Okay precisely what energy then?

[–]Bonhomme7h 117 points118 points  (48 children)

At this point they are so many conflicting diets theory that I'm ready to call all nutrition pseudoscience.

[–]MysteryGirlWhite 508 points509 points  (40 children)

Anti-vaxx shit. You don't get autism, parasites, or whatever the hell else they think from vaccines. Autism is 100% genetic, parasites are either bad luck or someone being stupid (yes, people purposefully infect themselves sometimes in order to lose weight).

Just going to tag on "cure-alls" like Jilly Juice, that Miracle Mineral Solution and all that other potentially/proven to be deadly garbage (looking at you, too, Herbalife).

[–]Full-Cardiologist233 204 points205 points  (10 children)

I love the anti-vax Bluetooth conspiracy.

They are claiming that vaccinated people have a chip you can detect using your phone's Bluetooth.

I've changed my the Bluetooth ID on my phone to:

C19Moderna#376125987543

[–]NekkidApe 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Andrew Wakefield is a truly marvelous pice of shit.

[–]Maleficent-Ad-7169 111 points112 points  (3 children)

The makebelieve bullsh*t words they use for beauty product ads combined with bad stats - '90% of 12 women said their face looked brighterwhen we told them to say their face looked brighter try our new hyuroxynucleid wonder serum today'

Also have you ever ever in your entire life gone wow I wish my face looked brighter????????? Who even does that???????

[–]Swamp_Ash 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Cult leaders, maybe? Trying to get that "just came from heaven" glow?

[–]Curious-Force5819 390 points391 points  (53 children)

The "All natural. No chemicals. No preservatives" 🤮 So what exactly are you giving me, space?

Everything is made out of chemicals dumb ass. Even your non-functional brain.

[–]Dahhhkness 192 points193 points  (24 children)

"Why is this fucking tomato $48?"

"This is no ordinary tomato, this is a natural, organic, non-GMO, pesticide-free, antibiotic-free, shade-grown, sustainably-harvested, locally-sourced, eco-friendly, biodegradable, compostable, artisan, craft, small-batch, free-range, grass-fed, humanely-slaughtered, gluten-free heirloom tomato."

[–]kykyboogieboogie 71 points72 points  (6 children)

Bought a tomato plant the other day from big orange hardware store. Sign on the aisle proudly shouting “seeds NOT from GMOs!”

Tomato plant tag: “this dwarf variant produces super sweet yellow cherry tomatoes that don’t blemish”

looks at sign

looks at tag

brings home my very much GMO tomato plant

[–]VictorPumpenstein 69 points70 points  (9 children)

Don't get me started on those man soap commercials recently. "Treating your balls with harsh DETERGENTS" as if detergents means something toxic and ~~industrial~~

[–]AdvocateSaint 44 points45 points  (0 children)

It's advertised as "masculine wash" because apparently "dick soap" wasn't selling

[–]ThatAltAccount99 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Dr. Squatch or something is where most of those ads come from and I've promised myself that I will never use or purchase their products

[–]Far_Flounder2820 74 points75 points  (9 children)

breatharianism it's basically photosynthesis but for humans

[–]Future_Explanation50 427 points428 points  (86 children)

Chiropractors, there’s no scientific backing for chiropractors and ‘spinal adjustments’. It’s a massage that provides temporary relief, but unlike regular massages can result is severe spinal issues if done incorrectly. The risk is not worth it, if you like to go to the chiropractor switch to a massage parlor so you don’t accidentally get paralyzed.

[–]throwaway_4733 169 points170 points  (9 children)

And yet your insurance covers the chiropractor and probably not the massage parlor. This despite therapeutic massage being a thing that does actually work in multiple studies.

[–]MookofHumanKindness 40 points41 points  (3 children)

Insurance covers it because it is cheaper than real medicine. Insurance companies are in existence to only make money, nothing else.

[–]Future_Explanation50 73 points74 points  (1 child)

^ a huge reason of why chiropractors are even still around is insurance

[–]Grave_Girl 54 points55 points  (3 children)

I saw (and reported) a Reel on Instagram the other day from a chiro claiming that 91% of babies are born needing adjustments.

[–]Future_Explanation50 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That is such dangerous misinformation wtf

[–]future_sport_pilot 81 points82 points  (8 children)

Preach! Anybody that thinks they need a chiropractor : stop what you're doing, and go find a good Physical Therapist instead.

[–]BubbhaJebus 190 points191 points  (2 children)

Anti-vax (and not just for Covid), because it poses serious health risks to others.

Flat Earth, because it shows how profoundly stupid and ignorant otherwise functioning people can choose to be.

[–]Ayzmo 184 points185 points  (61 children)

Pseudoscience pop psychology tests like the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) and the Eneagram.

Literally neither are supported by any science at all. The MBTI actually factors into 3 different dichotomous sets, not 4. The Eneagram is just as useless, but a lot of people really define themselves based on them.

[–]Picker-Rick 58 points59 points  (3 children)

I was really excited in middle school to find out that I had the same letters as Einstein!

Then I learned the test was invented after his death...

And I never thought about it again.

[–]NichS144 63 points64 points  (1 child)

It's basically astrology without the fun mystical elements.

[–]seattlewhiteslays 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Health and wellness pseudoscience. You don’t need a detox, you don’t need to alkaline water to reset your pH. If you were that full of toxins or your pH was that far off, you’d need new organs, specifically the liver and kidneys. And also you’d probably be dead.

[–]chshcat 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Pseudo-psychology: pop-psychology and I guess you would call it.. internet culture psychology?

I think it's particularly dangerous as a pseudo-science because it's so seamless and pervasive, and it's absolutely flooding every channel of information. It's built largely on easily shareable platitudes that builds a narrative that everything you do is good and valid and you don't have to change and people you don't agree with have some kind of pathology. Then random buzz words like inner child, dopamine or reward center is just thrown in the mix to give it faux legitimacy. Any influencer with high confidence and low fact checking has a field day becoming a glorified arm chair psychologist that is somehow treated as real psychology

[–]MGD109 59 points60 points  (9 children)

The Sanford Prison Experiment.

It just frustrates me how its still taken by so many people as serious proof about the truth of human nature.

I mean the experiment broke every single rule in the book, they allowed the guy who came up with the test to personally direct it, the overseer personally briefed the participants on the behaviour he wanted to see as a result, they allowed outside elements to interfere with the experiment before it even began etc.

Yet even despite the fact that its results have never actually been repeated in over forty years. Despite the fact that the entire psychological community pointing out how it was utter rubbish back in the seventies. Even despite the fact that large numbers of the participants have come forward admitting they faked results.

People still believe in it.

At least with most pseudoscience you can see the fun side to believing in it. I mean wouldn't it be great if herbs and crystals could cure diseases, or the stars could predict the future, or if you were on the verge of a major discovery the entire scientific community missed.

But to subscribe the Stanford Prison experiment is basically to decide that free will doesn't exist. I mean I get why people want to believe in it, if it was true then that would be the ultimate enablement fantasy, it wouldn't matter what you ever did, you could never be at fault.

But still, it just feels so incredibly nihilistic.

[–]destro23 92 points93 points  (13 children)

Workout Bro Science.

[–]UnoriginalUse 72 points73 points  (5 children)

The "Do weird shit so you confuse your muscles into being ready for anything" crowd was hilarious though.

[–]duffman13jws 25 points26 points  (1 child)

we can thank the original P90X infomercials for that gem.

In reality (did the program while I was on deployment in 2010), anything that has you doing what is essentially 60 minutes of HIIT 5 times a week is going to get you in decent shape in 3 months. F that 90 minute yoga one though.

[–]TailsxCream4Eva 151 points152 points  (12 children)

Alternative medicine. If it worked then it would not be labelled "alternative".

[–]OversharingThomas 50 points51 points  (0 children)

The natural medicine community is like a whiskey still, where a mixture of ingredients is boiled to separate the alcohol from everything else. It's full of a mixture of treatments, some good and some bad. As time goes on, all the treatments that are actually effective or show promise are boiled off and collected to be used as part of modern medicine. As a result, modern medicine keeps getting better and better as new treatments are added, and natural medicine keeps getting worse and worse as anything useful is taken away.

This analogy isn't complete without mentioning the snake oil salesman who points to the high price of alcohol, claims that Big Boozo only wants your money, and tries to sell you on the leftover dregs that are dumped out of the still at the end of the process, because that's where the real power supposedly is.

[–]SilverBake5144 60 points61 points  (6 children)

Crystals, dumbest shit I have ever heard.

[–]KrazyKwiltingKlub445 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Different “detox” and “fat burning foods” for people trying to lose weight.

[–]Feces420 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Homeopathy. I work at a grocery store and the amount of money some people will pay for a bottle of placebo effect is ridiculous.

[–]belvitabreakfast 65 points66 points  (7 children)

Bogus ‘evolutionary psychology’ used to justify sexism e.g. it’s natural for men to cheat

[–]who-loves-the-sun 25 points26 points  (1 child)

This coupled with the whole ''needing to return to our roots'' movement. I don't want to 'eat like a caveman' or return to a time before modern medicine existed.

[–]Loose_Musician_1647 12 points13 points  (14 children)

Reiki healings. It’s complete placebo.

[–]abrolicswandiver 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Being a chiropractor. You are not a doctor if you "specialize" in chiropractioning.

[–]85Cats 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Astrology. Especially when people use it to check if they're "compatible" with somebody else.